Glitch in the system the remix
I was very bored and decided to parody "Unknown Surroundings" by anduke777.
“HEY,Diane!!!”.........”HEY OPEN THE DOOR!!!” A little grey filly began to beat the poor cat’s face in,”Fucking cat,” said Glitch the master war criminal who hated cats and pears.Glitch was staying at her dear sister Fuhrer Diane’s house for the summer while their captain was off molesting children with Slenderpony.Her messy blue wig drooped over her eyes as the filly pounded both the door and the unconcious cat’s virgin asshole.
“To the fourth moon of Endore with this,” the cyborg earth-pony stormed around the house muttering to herself.”She knew that today was angry sex day,why is she gone?”Glitch stopped below a window on the side of the incredibly phallic house,”Ugh this is the third time I’ve had to climb through your window,”just as the filly began to climb she heard the front door open. Her ears perked as her military training kicked in and she stealthily ran to see if it was her fuhrer sister or an intruder who needed to be dealt with,”Fuhrer Diane!!Finally you’re he-” Glitch stopped when she noticed the yellow unicorn open the door while singing “Fuck god in the ass,mouth, and cunt,”she stopped when she saw the angry cyborg pony pointing a huge laser gun right at her.”Glitch the password is defcon 6.”
Glitch lowered her weapon and sighed before looking up to Sunstone,”I apologize, all that fillyscout training keeps me on my toes.”She glanced behind sunstone,”But where is commander Diane?”
Sunstone Magically made a large jar appear,unscrewed the cap and tipped it over.When nothing came out she grabbed a butterknife and stuck it in the bottle,then she whirled it about making an unconscious Diane Pad fall to the ground from her cylindrical glass prison.A cold splash of water proved effective in waking the purple pegasus commander.
Diane hoofed Sunstone in the face before saying ,“ Headon , apply directly to the forehead.”
“Commander I was only trying to help you escape the evil um...well let’s just call her Sgt.cheeselog for now, anyway I assume you’ll be taking care of the little soldier for now?”
“Affirmitive,you may now vacate the premises private.”Sunstone turned and left.
D-pad turned to Glitch,”Go upstairs and wash up, then we will go out to dinner, okay?”
”What are we having?”
“Well first we will dine on daffodil sandwiches, and after that we’ll be having rainbow cupcakes from Sugarcube Corner,”Diane replied.
“Sounds mighty tasty mon,”said Glitch after getting magical dreadlocks.
“Your Rastafarianitis seems to be getting worse,”Diane said with slight concern,”Well we’ll take care of it after dinner.”
So like the sun began to rise and there was some description of it.
“I can’t beleive Rainbow Dash wasn’t there to enjoy those rainbow cupcakes from Sugarcube Corner,”Glitch squeaked,”Pinkie Pie said she was trying to capture Rainbow Dash’s very essence with those rainbow cupcakes .”
Diane rolled her eyes “Well she definitely wasn’t slaughtered mercilessly and baked into those delicious rainbow cupcakes.” The two ponies had just returned to Diane’s house after eating some delicious rainbow cupcakes.”
The two ponies entered the dark house”why don’t you go wash up before bed, then I’ll be up in a bit to kiss you goodnight and probably rape you too.”
Glitch ran up the stairs,”Thats baby stuff!”
D-pad waited for the filly to be completely out of sight before she proceeded to the kitchen. Out of the darkness she heard a rustling noise coming from one of the cabinets. D-pad scanned the kitchen for the owner of said noise. She noticed a small bit of orange hair in the crack of the cabinet door.”Firefly it's 9:30 why are you in my house, and why are you in my kitchen cabinet?”
Firefly climbed out of the small cabinet.”because i am retarded as hell,” Firefly pointed towards the general direction of D-pads trash cans.”so i came to yor hows to pee.” Firefly finished with a smile
“So what you're saying is that instead of going to your house, you just walked in to mine, that doesn't explain why you hid in my cabinet
Firefly blinked”Oh well, when you walked in I thought ninja ponies were attacking me again so I hid from them.”
D-pad face hoofed” I told you those weren't ninja ponies.”
Firefly looked at her friend in disbelief “Then what were they?”
“It was ME and SUNSTONE, remember we were all going to be ninjas for Nightmare Night, but when we got to your house you kicked me in the face and flew away!”
Firefly narrowed her eyes”Are you sure those were ninjas”
D-pad’s face turned a shade of red”No you featherbrain, That was we missed out on all of Nightmare Night because we had to look for you!”
Firefly rolled her eyes”I still don’t believe you, Oh hey, can I stay here for the night?”
D-pad calmed down a bit”Yeah, you can sleep on the couch” as much as she loved her friends, sometimes they could be a real hassle.
Firefly leaped in the air and landed on the couch with a thud.”Thanks, good night”
D-pad began to walk up her stairs to her room”Good night, and wake up early were heading to canterlot in the morning.”
Firefly waved D-pad away with her hoof”Yeah, yeah, go to bed already.”
D-pad rolled her eyes for the second time that night. The purple pegasus then flapped her wings and began to hover over the floor to avoid waking up her sister as she passed her door.
D-pad flew into her own room and landed on her purple bedspread.She was definitely looking forward to sleeping her problems away.
“Tomorrow I will see the Princess luna, get my assignment and everything will be alright”
Cathing a firefly in the system
The sunlight awoke D-pad. She attempted to open her eyes but found the blinding light of the sun too painful to bear and shut them quickly.She rolled over to get her sensitive eyes in the shade, but found her muzzle attaching to something unfamiliar. She decided to explore the area with her tongue, sending it sliding into the unfamiliar area and soon found the tongue of another pony. Their tongues engaged in an intimate dance, each one wrestling for dominance.
The sensual kiss seemed to last forever, until Diane was struck in the temple by an unknown object.
"What the hell,"demanded an angry Firefly,"Why did you do that?"
"I kissed a girl and I liked it," replied D-pad,”and why the cunt are you in my fucking bed?”
“Because a nigga stole my bike.”
“Firefly we can’t ride bikes because we’re ponies.”
“FUCKING WHORE DON’T BASH MY DREAMS,”Firefly said quietly.
Then a whale crushed the house.
“Hello bitch,”said sunstone as she rubbed her ass on the doorknob,”where the clitoris is D-pad?”
“My name is Glitch you cumdumpster,”Glitch said emotionlessly, pointing towards the door of D-pad’s room.
“The actual fuck is up with the little whore,”Sunstone thought to herself,”Usually she is bubbly and happy,and racist,but now she’s bland,lifeless,and almost transparent,like Michael Jackson.”
Sunstone reached her friends bedroom door.She paused before opening it,hearing a faint voice.
“Why the vagina is D-pad talking to herself,”the unicorn thought.Sunstone wrapped the door in her magic. “Hey Diane is mitch,I mean bitch,I mean Glitch okay?She’s being kind of a cun-”She shut the fuck up when she noticed the scene in front of her.
Standing just a few feet away was D-pad, her mane was crusty as if it had skeet on it. She looked at Firefly who’s mane was perfectly straight due to the amount of horse blood that she drank. Both smelled of sweat and shame, and both had raging wingboners.They stood in silence for at least fourteen seconds.
D-pad broke the silence with Maxwell’s Silver Hammer,”Sunstone this is definitely not what it looks like, me and Firefly did not fuck last night and Glitch’s tears were not used as lubricant.”
Sunstone began to mumble bee(because she had a cold making mumble sound like bumble...so.....bumble bee....),”You two.....together...”a glascow smile began to form on her horse herpes crusted face.
D-pad and Firefly watched in great confusion,”Ohh D-pad-san your confusion bring great shame to your famiry,”Firefly said in her now Japanese accent because I needed jokes for the series.
D-pad didn’t respond,”Uh you okay Sunny D which contains only five percent juice?”
Sunstone began to guffaw(because I like that word),”you two are carpet licking fillyfoolers hahahahahahahah lol rofl lmao I knew you two wanted to fuck, I just knew it hahaha watch Toonami at 12:00 a.m. eastern 9:00 p.m. pacific on Adult Swim,even though it’s bullshit right now and the fact that they are playing Bleach instead of a good anime that hasn’t been milking the plot for far too long because the creator likes money is raping my childhood.”
Then outside, a car spun out of control and crashed into a tree.
“I miss Macho Man,” Said a random background pony.
“Anyway,” said Firefly cornelius jermajesty jackson the thirty-eighth,”Are we all ready to leave so we can ride the freedom train?”
“We told you that Harriet Tubman is dead,”replied D-pad,”and thank god she is.”
“My god, I’ve deficated in the swimming recepticle,”said bob the builder.
Then the author descended from god’s home otherwise known as hell and said,”There are no bad ideas.”
Upon reading that last horrible sentence the reader killed themselves and then shut down the computer.
“God damnit you ass ramming uncle fuckers we need to get our stuff and go ride the friendship express,”Sunstone politely said.
“NIGGERS,”said the guy from the O.J. trial.
Then the author descended from god’s home otherwise known as hell and said,”There are no bad ideas.”
Upon reading that last horrible sentence the reader killed themselves and then shot the pope.
Then Glitch was really cranky so D-pad shoved a dog turd up her vagina and that cheered glitch up.
hfjahdcfkdshniggerckskhdwsavgh
Then glitch said ,”It’s morphin’ time,”and pulled out her power coin.
Then the author descended from god’s home otherwise known as hell and said,”There are no bad ideas.”
Upon reading that last horrible sentence the reader killed themselves and then pulled out their power coin and morphed into the angry guy who leaves complainy comments ranger.
god isn’t black
anyway while I was writing this poorly conceived part of this awful parody d-pad and the others went to their gay little fag train.
for reading this you are going to hell.
the game.
unfortunately because of morbid obesity there were very few seats left on the gay train for faggots and each of the gay faggot loser nigger bitch ass whore cumfuckers ponies had to sit in separate seats. D-pad ended up sitting next to a leper pony.D-pad politely lifted her leg for a hoofshake,but when the leper pony raised her hoof to accept the greeting her leg fell off. Also she is a blind orphan with cancer in her ass.
Just then A purple earth pony jumped out of his seat and yelled,”I’M OFF TO TAKE A SHIT AND GIVE IT TO THE POOR,”then he flew away.
