Infiltration Impossible

by Tony_Tony_Chopper

Rating: mature
Tags: Main 6, Gore, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Dark, Alternate Universe, Other, Original Character, Random, Human
Length: 4672

A strange company arrives in Equestria, providing jobs for a failing economy in Ponyville. But is everything REALLY what it seems?

Some strange looking creatures arrive from a distant land offering jobs to a very unemployed Ponyville community.

But as time passes by, people notice changes in their community; changes that would've been better to avoid in the first place.

*AUTHOR'S NOTE* I am an individual who is happily employed by the Walton Family Mafia, and DO NOT think they are bad people. This is just a joke fiction not to be taken seriously. I would just like to mention that before anyone blows it out of proportion.

Published 2015-07-10 19:00:02 UTC
Last updated 2015-07-11 13:47:40 UTC

Chapter 1 - What New Building?

Prologue

In the past century, retail has become a giant around the world. Empires have risen, such as the great Benjamin Franklin, then fallen, only to be replaced by the “New Generation”, such as K-Mart and Big Lots.

But there are two that have survived all the struggles; they have come out on top again and again, and it is thanks to these two that America has lost all free will when it comes to shopping.

I am speaking, of course, about Wal-Mart and Target.

In the land of people, these giants are so well known, that the Wal-Mart Spark is more commonly known among children than the Christian Cross! Their influence has reached such a peak of power, that children, when asked what kind of family pet they would like, ask for “the Target dog”.

They expand ever outward, reaching into every country they can. But what would happen if they already had reached that goal? Where would they go next? Into the far reaches of space, perhaps?

This is the story about how these two retail overlords made their way into Equestria, and changed the face of the land forever.

Chapter 1 - What new building?

As is in the land of peace and fairy tales, the morning of the big news was full of birds tweeting, butterflies sipping, and children playing, and all that hogwash.

The citizens of Ponyville gathered in the square to hear about what the new building that had just been erected.

A stage was set up in the center of town, accompanied by strange beings the ponies had never seen before. One of them strode forth to the microphone on the center of the stage.

“My good friends! Welcome to a new era of living and shopping! Over the past two months, we have labored extensively to bring you your very own Wal-Mart Neighborhood Market!”

The ponies looked at each other confused, not understanding what exactly was going on. What was a Wal-Mart? And why was one built in Ponyville?

The speaker already knew ponies had no idea what a Wal-Mart was, and had already prepared for the next phase of his speech.

“This isn’t just a grocery store, folks. This is a place where you can find not only all the necessities for the week’s meals, but you can talk with your neighbors, catch up on the local news, or simply buy a coffee and doughnut on the way to work. It’s everything a corner store has to offer, and more.”

The ponies did have a corner store, and they wondered why they would need to replace it.

“Wal-Mart’s Neighborhood Market will not only change your shopping habits, but it will reduce the time you need to shop, because you can get almost anything you need right here! To add to the good news you’ve just heard, our facility will be hiring new associates starting immediately!”

The ponies knew what that meant: jobs for a dying Ponyville economy.

A loud cheer rose up from the crowd, and the speaker turned around, and smiled at his comrades in retail.

“It worked, Dale. I’m honestly glad to admit I was wrong, and that we could open a Wal-Mart outside of Earth!”

Dale nodded.

“Yes, I had a feeling we could beat out the competition here. The currency is quite foreign to me, but we’ve already worked out the conversion rates, and we’ve established a minimum wage for our future associates and a full-time benefits plan.”

The speaker smiled.

“Wonderful! I think we’re going to fluff up that bonus this year.”

The speaker turned back to the microphone and continued speaking.

“Now, unfortunately, I have to cut this short. If you are interested in applying for Wal-Mart, please make your way to the store’s location at 31 Buckend Drive. Thank you, and I hope to see many of you there!”

The speaker backed away from the microphone, and led the rest of the men off the stage and away from the street.

Another cheer went up from the crowd, and they all raced to the new store; hoping to get a job with such a fabulous company.

The pony crowd arrived at the Neighborhood Market disappointed to see that an even bigger crowd was already there!

To make things worse, many of them were coming out the building wearing strange, green vests with what looked like a yellow rectum on the back of them.

They looked excited about their new job, and many of the younger ones were ecstatic.

“This is great!” said one of the younger stallions, “Now I’ll be able to afford that new cart for my pa’s shop!”

“Yeah, and I’ll be able to get a new PGS4! It looks so great!” said another.

The fresh employees walked away, laughing and chatting, while the new potentials walked into the building, sweating and gulping, nervous about their interviews.

After several hours, darkness began to descend, and the ponies moaned, knowing they would have to come back tomorrow, but as the crowd started to disperse, one of the the big wigs who was at the speech earlier that day came outside, waving his arms.

“Ponies! Wait! You don’t have to leave!”

“But it’s getting dark! You guys are closing, right?” said one of the ponies.

The man shook his head.

“Wal-Mart is a 24 hour company, folks! We NEVER close, except for Christmas Day.”

The ponies looked at each other with strange looks. Open for 24 hours? They’d never heard of a company that does that.

“That means, of course, that not only will we continue with the interviews, but when we have filled our quota for day shift employees, we will begin hiring for overnight positions!”

“You mean you’re going to hire some of us to work through the night?”

The man smiled and nodded.

“That’s right! But not only that, you’ll also make 4 bits more per hour than your day shift counterparts!”

The ponies cheered again.

“Well, I know I’m applying for nights, now.” said one of the ponies.

“Feel free to get back in line, folks, unless you’d rather go home for the night, and come back tomorrow?”

No one moved an inch.

“Very well, then! Everyone will get an interview, I assure you. Just be patient, wait your turn, and you may have a wonderful new job with the Wal-Mart company!”

The man receded into the building, smiling. He walked towards the back of the store, waving at his new workers as they left, and shaking hands with his fellow suits. When he arrived at the PhotoCenter, he pushed the swinging doors, and made his way to the Co. Manager’s Office. Inside, he sat down at a computer and looked up the interviews for the day. He scanned the page looking for a certain number.

He smiled a wide, wicked smile.

“Excellent! The fools have no idea what they’ve gotten themselves into!”

He burst into manic laughter and left the office with the computer still running, showing two very important numbers.

Population of Ponyville - 934

Wal-Mart Interviews to Date - 653

Chapter 2 - The Morning After

Chapter 2 - The Morning After

The interviews were done at 2:15 a.m. the next day. Those who were readily accepted went home wearing yellow rectum vests, and those who weren’t accepted immediately went home biting their nails.

Those who were hired immediately were told to report to work in three days, and that they would be able to see their scheduled hours then, as well.

At 7:30 that morning, a news story came on the T.V. talking about the Wal-Mart company, and what had happened the day before.

“Hi, Shelly Future-Glue here, standing outside the new Neighborhood Market at 31 Buckend Drive. The managers at this new store have just finished hiring workers for not only days, but for nights! That’s right folks, a Ponyville first - a business has hired workers for overnights, and now the store will NEVER close except for what they call “Christmas Day”. After an interview with one of the managers, they informed me this is their name for Hearth’s Warming. This is Shelly Future-Glue, Ponyville News.”

Twilight raised an eyebrow at the report.

“Spike! Did you know that a new store was opening in Ponyville?”

Spike came downstairs, and looked at the T.V.

“Yeah, they finished building it awhile ago, but they just finished hiring yesterday. I heard Pinkie got hired yesterday, now that you mention it.”

“What?! She already has a job working at Sugar Cube Corner, though. Why would she quit....?”

Spike shook his head.

“She didn’t quit, she got laid off. Wal-Mart offered free pastries celebrating the opening of their store, and Sugar Cube Corner had to close up shop.”

“How did they close down the Cakes’ entire shop just by offering some free pastries for a few days?”

Spike laughed.

“It wasn’t for a few days, Twilight. They gave out free desserts for a few MONTHS.”

Twilight’s eyes grew big, and her mouth dropped.

“Months?! How have THEY stayed in business?”

“I don’t know, but Wal-Mart hired Pinkie, Mr. Cake, and Mrs. Cake to work in the Bakery Department.”

Twilight couldn’t even say anything. She stood up and ran outside, calling out to Spike.

“I’ll be home later!”

She raced down the street, ignoring the other ponies’ ‘good morning!’s and ‘how are you?’s. In no time at all, she was standing in front of the Neighborhood Market.

It was a large, rectangular building. It expanded outwards to the left and right, rather than front to back, as was typical with most Ponyville constructs. It was a brick building with a green sign sporting the words “Wal-Mart Neighborhood Market”, and that curious yellow rectum symbol again.

“I’m on to you, you son-of-a-bitch,” Twilight whispered under her breath, before she marched into the store.

Upon entering, she felt an immense rush of cold air.

What was that magnificent, cooling air she just felt? Artificial wind?

“Hi, welcome to Wal-Mart,” said an all-too familiar voice.

Twilight spun around to see Granny Smith wearing a Wal-Mart uniform, and sitting on a stool.

“Granny Smith! You work for Wal-Mart now, too?”

“Why yes, dearie, I’ve found it occupies my time, and let’s me socialize again. I’ve been so bored since retirement that I just had to get out into the working world again, and Wal-Mart offers such great jobs for senior citizens! Look at my name badge! I’m a People Greeter!”

Twilight leaned in for a closer look, and sure enough, underneath a piece of blue and white laminated paper sporting her name, was a piece of yellow laminated paper sporting her title - People Greeter.

Twilight shook her head.

“Granny Smith, you know that’s not a real job, right? You’re supposed to be retired, what was wrong with that?”

“Child, it can get awfully lonely and boring staying at home. When you’ve worked for as long as I have, you’ll know what I mean. You just need some kind of direction in your life, at all times, or you might go mad! Ho, ho, ho! Have a nice day now, dearie!”

Twilight left Granny Smith, and continued deeper into the store. She saw more people she knew from Ponyville, and was not happy about it.

“Fashion Sense! What are you doing here?”

Fashion looked up from the oranges she was arranging.

“Oh, hi, Twilight. I work at Wal-Mart now, pretty exciting huh? I stock produce!"

“Why aren’t you at the Carousel Boutique? I thought Rarity hired you a few months back to help her out?”

Fashion sighed.

“She did, but Wal-Mart has undercut her prices so much, that she had to let me go to keep the business.”

“That’s horrible!”

“It is, but I’m thankful I’m still employed, it could be worse.”

“You shouldn’t be thankful to be employed by Wal-Mart! They stole your job!”

“That’s true, but they gave me a new one.”

“One that pays you less!”

“But I have more benefits here, and better ones, too.”

Twilight was aghast. How could she feel that way?

She waved goodbye to Fashion, and moved deeper into the store.

In the Soup Aisle, Twilight found another of her friends.

“Rhythm-Boom, what are you doing here? You work for Wal-Mart, too?”

He nodded.

“Sure do! It’s the best job I’ve had, too!”

“But what about Vinyl Scratch? I thought you were working with her?”

“I was, but Wal-Mart offered me benefits, and Vinyl wasn’t giving me any at all to begin with, so I jumped ship and came on board with the Wal-Mart crew! Yeah!”

Twilight didn’t want to hear another word, she just ran.

“Hey! No running in the store, Twilight! If you hurt yourself, it costs us big time!”

She pretended not to hear him, and kept running. In the Cereal Aisle, she saw her friends Big Plate and Little Bowl zoning..

She ran into the Toys Department and saw a young stallion named Zoom stocking shelves.

She couldn’t take it anymore, she screamed and ran outside, through the Pharmacy fire door, and set off the alarm.

She froze, frightened by the alarm, and cowered in the corner. After a few minutes passed, she heard a booming voice.

“Hey now, little missie, you shouldn't’ use the fire escape if there’s not really a fire.”

Twilight looked up to see a familiar face.

“BIG MAC?! You guys still have the farm! Why are you working here?!”

“The extra coin is always welcome, and Applebloom is old enough to help AJ on the farm, so I applied here, and now I work for AP.”

“AP?”

“Yup, Asset Protection. I help stop thieves, and protect the store against general ne’er-do-wells, and pranksters like yourself.”

“But I wasn’t pulling a prank! I was trying to get out of this store!”

“Aw, well if you wanted to get out of the store, why didn’t you just walk to the front door? That’s the only way you could’ve came in, ya know.”

Twilight stood up, and walked away, without saying a word. She ignored the ponies around her, walked past the cash registers, beeping after every item was scanned, and past Granny Smith.

“Bye, thank you for shopping at Wal-Mart, where you can save money, and live better!”

Twilight screamed.

Chapter 3 - Gathering the Elements

Chapter 3 - Gathering the Elements

The next day Twilight woke Spike and brought him to the center of her library. She had set up a command room overnight, and had finally come up with a strategy for dealing with Wal-Mart.

A projector had been positioned at the rear of the room, facing a whiteboard covered in writing.

“Spike, Wal-Mart’s only been here for a few days, I know, but I’m done with them! They’ve corrupted our town!”

Spike yawned.

“How have they corrupted Ponyville, exactly?”

“Here is a list,” Twilight said pointing at the whiteboard, “of all the ponies currently working at Wal-Mart.”

Spike scanned the list, and noticed that more than a few ponies he knew were working there.

“So? They’ve got jobs at Wal-Mart, what’s the big deal?”

Twilight breathed deeply to control her rising anger.

“The big deal, Spikey-wikey,” she said sarcastically, “is that we’re losing our community to this store! Shops have been closed down, and the unemployed ponies are now working at Wal-Mart!”

“I still don’t get it....”

“They almost have a full monopoly on all business in Ponyville, Spike!”

Spike shrugged.

“I say again, so? It’s not like each pony didn’t already have a monopoly of their own before Wal-Mart came. Rarity was the only one you could buy your clothes from, Mr. and Mrs. Cake were the only bakers, Vinyl Scratch was the only seller of new CDs, and I could go on, but I think you get the point.”

“This is different, Spike! Instead of one business have a monopoly on one product, Wal-Mart is one business that’s going to have a monopoly on ALL the products!”

“I’ll say it one last time; so? Shopping will just be more convenient when you can buy everything in one place, plus it’ll save on receipt paper and plastic for the bags. Honestly, this is only a good thing, Twilight.”

Twilight was about to speak, but Spike held up his hand.

“Whatever it is, I don’t want to hear it; I’m going back to bed. If you want someone to agree with you, why not just talk to Fluttershy? You know how she is....”

Spike trudged back upstairs, and Twilight fumed. She gathered some things she thought she might need for her trip to Fluttershy’s cottage, then set out.

‘Who does he think he is?” she thought, “I thought he was my loyal assistant who would help me in a pinch, no matter what! Well, I don’t need him! I can solve this problem with Fluttershy and the others.’

Feeling more confident, Twilight’s stride increased, and she made it to Fluttershy’s in only a few hours.

Twilight walked up the cobble path to the front door and knocked rapidly.

“Fluttershy? Are you in there?”

After a couple minutes the door opened, and Fluttershy stood in the doorway, wearing a Wal-Mart vest!

Twilight’s mouth dropped open.

“How....?”

Fluttershy looked at the floor, and grew red in the face.

“Well, I....”

“THEY DON’T EVEN SELL PETS!!!!”

Fluttershy cringed, then nodded.

“I know, but the pet business is slowing down. There’s only so many ponies that want pets, and the rest I have to export to Canterlot, and I don’t like doing that to the poor babies, so I stopped breeding new pets.”

“But....but....”

Fluttershy put a hoof on Twilight’s shoulder.

“Don’t worry, it’ll be alright. I still have the chickens, the ferrets....”

“Fluttershy....why? Do you really need the money that badly?”

“Unfortunately, yes. I would have gladly worked for Rarity, but she can’t afford it, right now. In fact, I’m not sure how much longer she can keep her business at all....”

Twilight burst into tears on the spot.

“Fluttershy....you can’t....I need you guys right now....”

“Don’t worry, Twilight. It’ll be alright.”

Twilight rubbed the tears away.

“What about the others? Is anyone else working for Wal-Mart?”

“Pinkie Pie is working in the Bakery Department, I know. Applejack applied, but I don’t know if she got accepted or not. Rainbow Dash is still up in Cloudsdale, so probably not her. Rarity will be working there pretty soon, I’m sure. The Boutique won’t last much longer with how Wal-Mart’s prices are.”

Twilight nodded.

“Alright, I’m going to see Rainbow Dash.”

She turned to go, but stopped. She took a deep breath before she spoke.

“Good luck, Fluttershy. I suppose we won’t be spending too much time together for awhile....”

Fluttershy’s eyes got big, and she started to cry, but Twilight didn’t hear or see anything of the sort; she was already long gone.

Twilight raced home to brew another Cloud-Walking Potion for her trip to Cloudsdale. As a non-Pegasus, she was unable to walk on clouds like Rainbow Dash or Fluttershy could.

She poured the ingredients into the alembic*, and watched them swirl together until a sea-foam green concoction was formed.

She drained the alembic into her retort*, and let it sit for a few minutes before draining the mixture into a glass bottle. She corked it, then gathered her pack, and went back out the door.

She trotted across town into the outlying fields of Ponyville, then looked up. Above her head was the floating Pegasus City - Cloudsdale.

She had Spike bring her hot air balloon to the field, so she jumped into the basket, and turned on the mechanism to start filling the balloon.

When the balloon was ready, it took off, and Twilight guided it towards Cloudsdale. Despite how close the city looked from the ground, it was actually a half-hour trip before her basket touched the first artificial cloud that made up the Air Docks of Cloudsdale.

She opened the potion, downed the whole thing, then stepped out onto the cloud. Not surprisingly, the potion worked, and Twilight made her way to Rainbow Dash’s house on the far side of town.

She waved at the passing Pegasi, who were surprised to see a Unicorn walking among them. Many just shook their heads in disbelief, and continued with their daily business.

When Twilight made it to Rainbow’s house, she walked right in. Rainbow’s house didn’t have a door. At one point it did, until she destroyed it in a fit of rage after failing to claim first place in the Annual Cloudsdale Races.

“Rainbow Dash? Are you here?”

Twilight heard a ‘thump’ upstairs, then shortly afterwards, a groggy Rainbow Dash came down the stairs.

“Twilight? What are you doing here?”

“Rainbow, there’s trouble! A new store has opened up that’s destroying all the stores in Ponyville!”

Rainbow beckoned Twilight to follow her into the kitchen, where she started to brew some coffee.

“You talking about that new Wal-Mart down there?”

“Yeah, how did you know?”

“Who doesn’t know? It’s been on the news 3 days straight now. Nobody can stop talking about it!”

“Well, I hope you’re not planning on working there, are you?”

Rainbow shook her head.

“No, I have a job I barely go to now, and it’s close to home. If I had to work in Ponyville, I’d probably only show up once or twice a week. Why are you asking?”

Twilight smiled.

“Because I need your help to take down that Wal-Mart!”

Author's Note

An alembic and retort are devices used in alchemy - the art of creating potions from ingredients harvested in nature, or ingredients created artificially by combining various elements together.

Chapter 4 - That Next Step

Chapter 4 - That Next Step

When the coffee was done, Rainbow poured herself a cup, then asked Twilight if she wanted one.

“Yes, please. Thank you, Rainbow.”

Rainbow shrugged, and opened a cabinet above the coffee machine and pulled out a ceramic jar and a bottle of pills.

“Uh, Rainbow? What are those pills for?”

“These are for you, Twilight. YOU’RE CRAZY!”

Twilight’s mouth dropped open, but then she laughed.

“Oh, you’re joking, right?”

Rainbow rolled her eyes and put the pills back in the cabinet before closing the door.

“Typical naive Twilight. Seriously though, why do you want to take down the Wal-Mart? Wait, an even better question: HOW do you plan on doing it? Those guys that run the place are loaded; anything you can bring against them they’ll bring back to you a hundred times over!”

“I know, but I have to try. What about the ponies that used to run their own businesses?”

“Well, they have jobs at Wal-Mart now.”

“That’s the problem, Rainbow Dash! They’re working for the company that just tore their livelihoods apart!”

Rainbow rolled her eyes.

“So what? It’s their choice, Twilight, and there’s nothing you can do to change that.”

“No, there is something we can do about it! If you’re willing to help, of course.”

Rainbow was about to speak, but suddenly a loud noise came from outside.

“What was that?!” asked Rainbow, as she and Twilight ran outside to see what happened.

Two doors down from Rainbow’s house was the Cloudsdale Gym, where she spent more than a few of her off time hours training, and the building was being torn down!

A wrecking ball was being swung into the building, over and over again. Rainbow furiously flew over to the operator of the machine; strangely enough, it was a human!

“Hey, wise guy! What do ya think you’re doing?!”

The operator turned to look at her, then pointed at his ear protection and shrugged, signaling he couldn’t hear her.

He turned the machine off, took off his ear protection and faced the angry mare.

“What is it, ma’am?”

“That gym is where I train! Why are you tearing it down?!”

“Orders from corporate, ma’am. This building and the land, err, clouds, around it, are now the property of Wal-Mart Stores Inc.”

Rainbows eyes flashed angrily, then turned to Twilight.

“Tell me what I have to do.”

Twilight smiled.

“First, let’s get out of here. We need to get back down to Ponyville and we can discuss our plan of action there.”

Rainbow nodded.

“Fine, then hold on Twilight.”

“Wait, what?!”

Rainbow grabbed Twilight and threw her over her back.

She flew away from Cloudsdale with a screaming Twilight, zooming past the clouds of her home. Shortly after leaving, they arrived at the Golden Oak Library, proving once again that Rainbow was the fastest Pegasus in Cloudsdale.

“Hey, we’re here, Twilight! You can let go now!”

Twilight’s mane hair was frizzy, and her face was stuck in one of sheer of horror.

Rainbow tried to pull her off, to no avail.
“TWILIGHT!!! GET OFF!!!”

Finally, Twilight loosened her grip just enough to fall off sideways.

“Rainbow...?”

“Yeah?”

“Please....please don’t do that to me again....”

Rainbow smiled.

“Sure, crybaby. Now c’mon! Tell me about this plan of yours.”

Twilight stood, brushed herself off, then led Rainbow into her library. Spike was dusting the bookshelves when they walked in.

“Hey, Spike! I’ve found someone to help me!”

Spike turned to see Rainbow and his eyes got big.

“Rainbow?! Did she tell you what she’s planning?”

Rainbow nodded.

“Of course she did! Those guys tore down my gym to build a new Wal-Mart in Cloudsdale! I’m not letting them get away with that!”

Spike shook his head in disbelief.

“How many gyms are in Cloudsdale? It’s a pretty big city....”

“It doesn’t matter! That was MY gym! I went there almost everyday for my whole life! I have a lot of memories in that place....”

“Spike,” said Twilight, “can you please go dust upstairs, now?”

“Sure, I don’t want to be an accessory to this thing anyway.”

Spike went upstairs, and left the two mares alone to plot.

Twilight turned the projector on, and a map of the Wal-Mart store floor plan showed up on the whiteboard. Rainbow sat down on one of Twilight’s many wooden chairs, and started leaning on the back legs.

“Now Rainbow, I haven’t done any reconnaissance work yet, but I know that the back room, ironically located in the back of the store, is where everything is that’s of interest to us.”

“And by that you mean....?”

Twilight face palmed.

“Rainbow Dash, if we’re looking to shut this store down, we can’t do it by force of strength; it’s like you said, they have so much wealth they could hire a private army if they needed to stop us! So the only way we can stop these guys is through espionage and sabotage.”

Rainbow smiled.

“Ok, those are two words I’m familiar with! So, what’s the plan, exactly?”

“Like I said, I haven’t done any major reconnaissance work yet, but the backroom is where we need to get to. The terminals in the backroom hold the information we need to shut down the store. But they’ll obviously have security, so we have to be cautious.”

“So the plan is we don’t have a plan?”

“Not yet! But we do have the skeleton of a plan! We just need to fill in the pieces between the start and the end goal.”

“Well, so what are we waiting for, then?”

“Night, Rainbow Dash. We’re waiting for the cover of dark, then we’ll bust in. The store is open at night, I know, but I’m willing to bet there are fewer workers at night than there are during the day.”

“Sounds good, Twi. You got anything for me? You know, like dark clothing?”

Twilight smiled.

“I have more than that, Rainbow. I have flashlights, motion sensors, night-vision cameras and goggles, and boots with soft soles, to make us quieter in our movements.”

“Alright, then! So we wait for night, then we make our move?”

Twilight nodded, and smiled.

“That’s the gist of it. For now, we wait.”