I swear my mother hates me. I was soo hungry but no! She had to help Angel Bunny because he broke his leg. Daddy said he was too busy working the farm to go to the supermarket today. Auntie AJ used to baby me, but she's pregnant and I can't leave her alone with oreos because she'll gobble them up it five minutes flat. Literally.
Oops. I forgot my proper introduction. I'm Rosie. My mom is Fluttershy, element of Kindness. Ya, i know. She's a big deal. My dad is like a nopony because he NEVER LEAVES THE FARM. Like, when he does, he's all quite but then when we do something like, bad (Mostly Johnny) then he yells in his super loud voice (mostly at Johnny). Oh, and my dad's name is Big Macintosh.
I have an older sister named Peachy Keen. But everyone calls her Peach. It's not so funny how everyone in my family has super elegant names and my name is just Rosie. Anywho, Peachy is fourteen and has a boyfriend named Butterscotch. He's all emo and listens to funky music but he's a total dud. I can see he him in a wanted poster.
My little brother's name is Johnny Appleseed. He likes to buck apples with dad. I like to watch Hub TV, drink Apple Juice, and eat Oreos (WHICH I do not have at the moment because of the lack of support from my mother.) Yeah, so Johnny is a prankster. He ducktaped my room with Cloudsdale Rock ~~when he knows I have a very much disliking for that emo band.~~ I like Ponytones. Hm, maybe my dad isn't a total nobody. He sings a pretty sick bass.
My little little brother is named Fredrick. Everyone calls him Red. Because A) Fredrick is a really long name that's so old-fashioned B) He's like, seriously all red. He has dark red hair and light red coat. Like me! He's barley two and likes to bite on things. Mom says he's teething but I call it cannibalism.
So after that super long intro to my super boring family, I'll tell you the whole story. Like, every last bit.
I woke up today. It was six a.m. and I knew Johnny, Dad, and Auntie Applebloom where outside bucking apples. I knew mom was caring for Fred and Angel Bunny. I knew Peach was making out ~~or making love~~ with Butterscotch in her room. I also knew a big ol' fat bag of Oreos awaited me in the pantry.
I walked downstairs in our little cottage. It is a complete replica of mom's old cottage, but not the same. You see, so dad could still buck apples (Gosh, that's all he does) they built one near the Barn where Auntie AJ, Uncle Soarin, Auntie Applebloom, Uncle Snails, and Granny Smith lived. After Auntie AppleBloom got engaged to Uncle Snails, Granny said the house was getting too crowed. Dad and the rest of the men built our little cottage at the latest family reunion.
I opened up the pantry door. I screamed in horror. It was dark, I-I thought this would never come to pass. It-It was horrible, dark, spooky, it was..! An empty spot in the pantry where the Oreos should be.
"Noooo!" I screeched. Alarmed, mom came in.
"Oh, Rosie! Are you hurt? Is there an intruder? What's wrong?" she smothered me.
"Mom... the pantry... no Oreos..." I stumbled with my words.
"Oh, yes, that," Mom said, flying over to the pantry, "You see, dear, I think your obsession with TV and chocolate has gone a bit too far, hm? Well, you know, I took the TV to the garage and made a healthy diet for you! Your welcome!" Mom said, as if she didn't flip my world upside down. I gave her my death stare, but she was too busy humming, "Find the Music in You," that she didn't seem to notice.
"Hey sis," Peach said, holding hoofs with Butterscotch.
"Hey soul sister, hiya mister mister," I said to Peach and Butters. He just gave me is blank expression and waved a hoof. Was he mute?
"So, me and Butters here are spending some good time together," Peach said, nuzzling Butters. Gosh, I can't believe Butters is Pinkie Pie's son.
"Where is the TV, brah?" Butters asked, pointing to the wires and cables loosely connected to the wall.
"Mom put it in the garage," I replied. And she also ruined my healthy diet of chocolate oreos.
"Hmm, we don't need TV. We have each other," Peach said, her green eyes staring into Butterscotch's dull pink ones. Peach is so affectionate and totally full-into this relationship and Butters is just like, "Yah. I date some hot chick. She's nice."
Peach kissed Butters and they started to have a full on makeout session on our green couch. Yuck. To save myself from puking, I ran outside and smelled the fresh air. The sun was now in full brightness, but morning dew still covered the grass.
"Boo!" Johnny yelped. I screeched a little bit, but then gave him the cold stare. He was laying on the floor laughing. I sighed and went on my merry way.
"Hey Rosie," Dad said, setting three baskets of apples on the ground. "Mah morning chores are done. Maybe we could, I dunno, head to the supermarket. I'll buy you something special. It'll be like a daddy daughter date." I jumped up and down. Yeah, I like spending time with dad but I had a plan. The 'something special' he was going to buy me was Oreos.
We walked down the center of town. Celestia's sun was on it's highest in the sky. I looked over and saw a billion carts. Well, not a billion but you get it. Scootaloo was proudly showing of her new son, Turbo. Auntie Applebloom and Sweetie Belle were ooing and ahhing. I liked little Turbo. His grey coat and dark grey hair. He had a little orange streak in his hair. He resembled his father Rumble the most but his orange streak reminded people he was Scootaloo's child, too.
"Hmm, what do you want, sugarcube? A doll, a book, a diary..." Dad smiled, "an apple?"
"Nah, no apples. I have my taste buds on something else..."
"Aw, no Rosie. Your mother told me this morning not to give you chocolate. It just ain't healthy," Dad sighed. I grumbled to my self and hanged my head low.
"Hey, how bout this red diary, huh? You can write your, um, me-mo-irs? Memoirs. Yeah. That's the fancy word," Dad said. I sighed.
"I guess," I grumbled. Dad lifted up my chin.
"Hey now, hillfilly. Ah didn't abandon your three other siblings to spend time with you just to hear you grumble all day, ya hear? I came here to spend time with ya," Dad said. I sighed. He was right. I lifted my head up and put down two bits for the diary.
"What does memoirs mean, dad?" I asked as we walked toward the farm.
"I think it means, hm, I'm pretty sure it means somethin' important in your life. Not your whole life, just some time period you thought was super important," Dad answered. I nodded. Maybe I'd write about the loss of Oreos.
I came into the house just in time to see Butterscotch leaving. Good riddance. Peach sat down on the couch with me.
"Watcha reading?" Peach asked. I hid my diary.
"My memoirs," I stated, "I'll read it to the family when it's done."
Peach nodded and headed up to her room. I didn't know what to write first, then it hit me.
I swear my mother hates me.
