I grit my teeth as I adjust the tablecloth for the thousandth time, making sure it was perfectly symmetrical. Twilight would notice if it was off, and then she’d think that I didn’t care about how the decorations looked, which would make her think that this party was just a waste of her time.
Let me back up. My name is Moondancer. I am a mare, living in Canterlot. I am a unicorn, attending Celestia’s School for Gifted Unicorns, and I’m throwing my very first party today. This isn’t just any party, though. For other ponies, it might be simple to throw a party, have some fun, and forget about it the next day, but not me. I have to make sure my first party is perfect, because my best friend Twilight Sparkle is coming.
I’ve known Twilight Sparkle since we were fillies. She’s the smartest, most hard-working pony I know, and I’ve had a crush on her since before I can remember. I’ve never told her about it. It’s so embarrassing, and I’m so afraid that she won’t feel the same way, or that she’ll think I’m not smart enough for her, or that she’ll laugh at me. Twinkleshine has been pushing me to put myself out there and throw a party for a while now though, and I finally decided that that would be the place where I’d get it all off my chest and tell Twilight exactly how I feel. That’s why I have to make sure it’s perfect. She has to know that I tried my hardest to make this event special. No run-of-the-mill tea party would do.
After weeks of meticulous planning and research, today is the day. And while there is a seed of hope that Twilight will feel the same way, and that I won’t have to live in fear of her finding out about my secret feelings, or shame that she might judge them, I can’t help but feel a sense of dread. What if she rejects me? What if she doesn’t feel the same way, or worse, what if it makes her hate me? What if she calls me a fillyfooler and doesn’t want to be my friend anymore?
I take a deep breath. I need to stay calm and collected. I’ve done the work, I remind myself. I did the research and the painstaking preparations to make sure that this party would be optimal to Twilight Sparkle’s particular range of recreational preferences. I’ve studied dozens of seductive techniques, pickup lines, and icebreakers, and read the full text of Confessing Your Love to Your Best Friend: An Introvert’s Dilemma twice. I can do this. I know I can. And if Twilight doesn’t accept me, that’s her problem, not mine.
Still, I can’t help but adjust one of the snack displays one more time. No matter how much I tell my brain that I’m a confident pony who doesn’t need Twilight’s approval to accept myself, my nervousness is here to stay, I guess. At least for the meantime. I wonder if Twilight ever feels like this, sick to her stomach with anxiety, even when she’s done her best. It sure doesn’t seem like it. Everything she does is perfect, precise, without room for error. How could a pony like that ever feel nervous?
I’m lost in my own thoughts when I suddenly notice my friends arriving. I quickly check the time. It’s one minute past the hour. Normally, it’d bother me that they were late, but I made sure to include a five minute buffer period, so they’re right on schedule. 6:55-7:05: Friends arrive. Check.
“Hey Moondancer! Look at this spread, huh?” Minuette calls out as she approaches the table.
“Thank you so much for coming,” I answer, with as much confidence as I could muster. This is it. No turning back now.
“Of course,” Twinkleshine giggles. “We wouldn’t miss one of our best friends’ parties!”
I look around. Minuette, Lemon Hearts, Twinkleshine… Where is Twilight? Immediately my panic reflex kicks back into overdrive, but I squash it back down. She’s just late. Uncharacteristically late. Despite Twilight never being late.
“I-Is Twilight coming? Heh…” I ask with a nervous chuckle.
Twinkleshine doesn’t answer. I look to Minuette, hoping for an explanation. No answer from her either. Suddenly my heart sinks into my stomach. I feel sick. “O-oh… Okay,” I murmur, looking down at the table and trying not to cry. Twilight isn’t coming. She didn’t care. I don’t matter to her. This was a stupid idea. I should have seen this coming. I set myself up for this.
“Hay! We’ll still have fun, right?” Minuette laughed, obviously trying to cheer me up. It wasn’t working.
“Sure…” I answered, barely able to conceal my disappointment. That’s not the point, Minuette. You don’t understand.
“Wait!”
That voice… I look up to see Twilight at full gallop, running right at me. Spike is riding on her back, clutching for dear life onto her mane with one clawed hand, holding onto a crumpled gift with the other. When she finally reaches the table, she’s so out of breath that she can’t even speak.
Needless to say, I’m relieved, but at the same time, even more nervous than I had been before.
“Sorry I’m late!” Twilight apologized, once she’d caught her breath. “I was planning on pulling a late night study session, but Spike really wanted to come to the party, and he already bought a gift, so he convinced me to at least stay a little while.”
That stung. So it really hadn’t been important to her, but she decided to make a token appearance for Spike’s sake. I frown again, and once more consider calling the whole thing off. If she really cared so little that she would only come for Spike’s sake, then what chance was there that she really cared about me?
No. I promised myself I would do this, and I would see it through. Even if she rejects me, it’s important that I see it through. I don’t want to be a timid bookworm, too afraid of failure to even try. Even if she doesn’t feel the same way, even if it’s awkward, even if it makes her want to never talk to me again, I am going to tell her how I feel, because I am not going to live in fear for the rest of my life.
I will tell her… eventually. Before the party is over, definitely.
“Here!” Spike exclaims, running up and putting his gift on the table. “It, uh, got a little banged up. Might need a few stitches, but it’s still good!”
I force a smile and took the gift. Inside is a torn stuffed bear, fluff spilling out of its grizzly gut wound, and a picture of me and the girls having lunch. I smile, truly this time, as I look at Twilight, ever-studious, in the photo and remember when it was taken. She never could stop studying. Even now, I noticed that she was wearing her saddlebags, keeping her books close as always. It was a little frustrating at times--now particularly so, since it almost made her miss the party I’d spent so long preparing for her-- but it was part of what made her special. She was always sharp as a tack, full of a wealth of knowledge and a mastery of magic that I could only aspire to. I could never keep up with her, no matter how hard I tried, and this photo reminded me how hard she worked to maintain that edge. It only made me admire her more.
“Thank you, Spike,” I reply, giving him a small hug. “This is definitely going up on my wall as soon as I get home.”
“Wow, you put a lot of work into this, Moondancer,” Twilight stated, looking over the arrangements. “Did you set this all up yourself?”
“Yes,” I answer simply. It took three days, Twilight. I did it for you. You’re not the only one who can work hard and accomplish your goals.
The next few hours are pretty menial. With Twinkleshine, Minuette, and Lemon Hearts around, the party is routine fare: sugary snacks that I’ll regret later, banal party games, silly stories, and generic records playing on a loop. A literal checklist of party clichés.
It’s not until the others start getting partied out and heading home that I feel comfortable enough to try to get Twilight alone long enough to have a meaningful conversation. It’s been exhausting keeping her here, finding excuse after excuse for her to stay instead of getting back to her books, but it’s all going to be worth it. I can feel it.
“Alright, I think I’m gonna throw in the ol’ towel and head on home!” Minuette, the last of my other friends to stick around, said, as gleeful as she ever was. “See you tomorrow Moondancer! You too Twilight!”
“I think I’m gonna head home, too,” Twilight stated, giving a faint smile. “It’s been fun, but I still have a lot of research to do, and I’m running out of time!”
“No, wait!” I exclaim, just a little bit more forcefully than I intended. Twilight couldn’t help but be taken aback, I could tell. “I mean... Please, Twi. Give me just a few more minutes…” I pause, looking down. I feel my cheeks go hot. This is it. Now or never. Come on Moondancer, spit it out. “There’s… There’s something I’ve been meaning to talk to you about?”
Confusion is evident all over Twilight’s face, and it looks like she’s feeling a little nervous too. I can’t blame her. I didn’t mean to corner her like this, but she had to know.
“Twilight… Um…” I start, trying to find the right words. For all my preparation and memorization, my mind is drawing a blank. And wouldn’t you know it: I forgot my cue cards too.
“Yes, Moondancer?” Twilight asks, blinking.
“Twilight, I’ve been meaning to tell you forever now, but I’ve been putting it off. I’m really going to tell you now though…” I paused, taking a deep breath. I’ll tell her at the end of this breath, I tell myself. “Twilight… … I really like you…” I blurt, breathing out. That wasn’t so hard.
“I really like you too, Moondancer,” Twilight answers, smiling cutely.
“No, I mean… Like… Twilight, you’re the smartest, most dedicated, most hard working pony I know,” I say, looking her dead in the eyes. “You’re so gifted, so much better than me at everything you do, but instead of holding it over me and making me feel useless, you’ve always been there to push me and help me when I need it. Instead of settling for being the smartest pony in Canterlot, you’re only ever worried about making yourself even better. You’re my hero, Twilight, and I don’t even want to imagine living without you.”
“Oh…” Twilight answers, blushing as her eyes dart from side to side. “That’s what you meant.”
I wait. Please answer me Twilight. I know how easy it would be to turn and run from a hard situation like this, but you’re better than that. You always have the right answers.
“Moondancer… I just… I’ve never thought about another mare that way… You’re asking me for something I can’t give you…”
I feel the tears stinging at my eyes, but I won’t give up that easily. Not even for a second. I’ve already come this far, and I’m not going to waste it. “You can try, Twilight,” I beg. “I love you, Twilight Sparkle. You’re the most precious thing in my whole world. I see the value in you, and I know that somewhere inside you, you value me too. If you didn’t, you wouldn’t have helped me become a better me. I wouldn’t have thrown this party, or admitted my feelings without the strength you fostered in me…” I pause, taking a moment’s respite from pouring out my feelings and drawing a ragged breath. “Twilight, I am a mare, and I can’t change that, but does that really matter so much to you? If I were a stallion, you’d give me a chance, but because I’m a mare, my feelings mean nothing to you?”
“Moondancer… You know that-”
“Just give me a chance, Twilight, please. That’s all I’m asking,” I state, letting out my breath. “It’s really not that big of a deal these days. No one is going to judge you. And… I love you Twilight. How will you know whether you can love me too if you don’t even give me a chance?”
Twilight has tears in her eyes too now. It takes a long moment before she finally speaks.
“Alright,” she states quietly. “I’ll give it a try, Moondancer. You are a special pony, and I do care about you. I’ll give it a try. Just please don’t hate me if it doesn’t work out…”
“I could never hate you, Twilight…” I say holding back tears as my heart overflows. “You’re the most important thing in the world to me.” With that corny line, I move in close, brushing my cheek against hers. I want to kiss you, Twilight, but only if you’ll let me.
She turns her face just slightly towards mine, so that the corner of her mouth pulls back beside mine. Textbook body language for ‘I want to kiss you too.’ Thankfully, I studied up ahead of time, so I maneuver my face towards hers, initiating lip contact, which she meets with a light kiss.
TOUCHDOWN! BULLSEYE! GOOOOOOAAAAAAALLLLL!!!!
I can barely restrain from throwing myself at her, but I manage to keep it to a tasteful full kiss, closing my eyes and savoring the feeling of her lips against mine. Twilight Sparkle, you won’t regret this.
After a minute, she pulls back. “Well, if you’re going to be my marefriend now, I suppose I should show you this…” she stated, magically unbuckling her saddlebag and withdrawing a book. “Have you heard of the legend of the Mare in the Moon?”
Author's Note
So this is my very first completed FIM story! So proud!
But really, why else would Moondancer have been so upset that Twilight skipped the party, even when she had three other friends show up? She must have valued Twilight's opinion and friendship very much, so have been so broken up about it.
This story is pretty short. I've always sucked at writing lengthy stories, which I think is part of why I have so many unfinished ones! I went ahead and buckled down and finished it for the EQD training grounds though, and I'm pretty happy with the finished result, even if it's a little on the short side.
