Mahou Shounen Princess Big Mac

by Frogmyre

Rating: everyone
Tags: Random, Adventure, Comedy
Length: 4068

After getting a taste of Princess Power during the fight against the Tantabus, Big Macintosh decides he wishes to have it again. So he goes on an adventure to become... Mahou Shounen Princess Big Mac!

After getting a taste of Princess Power during the fight against the Tantabus, Big Macintosh decides he wishes to have it again. So he goes on an adventure to become… Mahou Shounen Princess Big Mac!

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2015-07-13 03:01:05 UTC

Best Princess

"So, Big Macintosh is it?"

"Eeyup."

"Tell me if I have this right. You, a male earth pony, have filed a request to become a princess?"

"Eeyup."

"Now tell me, Big Mac, why do you wish to be a princess?"

"Well, you see Princess Celestia," Big Mac started his explanation, standing before the princess in no small amount of awe, "Ever since a few nights ago, I've been dreaming I was a princess." The scene was inside of the Canterlot castle. It had only been a few minutes since Celestia had raised the sun, and she was still a bit groggy. This is a fact well recorded by many historians later, as they chronicled this monumental event. Big Mac had actually been there since last night, even knowing that Celestia wouldn't be awake for several hours. He had even asked Twilight to write a letter to the Princess and help him with the official, "I want to be a Princess" form, sent in triplicate.

"And because you've been dreaming yourself as a princess, you decided you wanted to be a princess?" Celestia asked, trying to wrap her head around the request.

"Eeyup," said Big Mac, bowing. "Something my parents used to tell me, before they passed, was that I could be anything I wanted to be."

"And let me guess: You want to be a princess?" asked Celestia, even though she knew exactly what he'd say.

"Eeyup," Big Mac replied, bowing even lower, his eyes averted from the princess.

"First thing, Big Macintosh: You don't need to bow, nor avert your eyes. I'm just a regular pony like yourself, except I have wings and a horn, I'm a princess, and I hold everypony's fate within my hooves every single day of their lives. Second: Whilst I would normally deny such a request, for making anypony a princess is a very tough task, that requires months of thinking and planning to even decide if said pony is worthy of being a princess," started Celestia.

Big Mac started to look down, after he had brought his eyes back up. "But!" interjected the princess, "yours is a special case. You have given the most honest explanation of why you wish to be a princess, you actually filled in the proper forms in triplicate (something the few other candidates choose to do), and you came to see me in person, not even knowing what I would say."

Big Mac, who by this point had looked back up to Celestia, had his eyes grow larger with each of  her following words. "So I have decided to grant you a certain gem. This gem allows you to temporarily gain the powers of a princess and the knowledge to use them as you see fit. However, even before I give you the tiara in which the gem is set, I must warn you. With great power comes great responsibility. That is why I implore you to only use this if you feel you absolutely must. Do you understand?" she asked, starting right at him.

Big Mac paused, and thought about it. Several minutes later, he finally made up his mind and said, "Eeyup," in a decisive tone.

"Very well then, if that is what you have decided," Princess Celestia said, before teleporting away. Reappearing in front of the royal treasury, she opened the door, and walked inside. There was a security spell in place that prevented any pony other than her or her sister opening the vault, put in place after Discord had stolen the Elements of Harmony. True, it didn't prevent him from just popping up there, but she felt better knowing it was in place. "Let's see here... 'Prance'? No. 'Prench'? No. 'Prince'? Getting there... 'Princess'? Yes! Here it is. Now let me see here," muttered Celestia to herself, as she strolled through the many corridors of the royal treasury. "'Gar'? I don't even know what this means. 'Gregor'? Well, this is misfiled, should be under Griffon. 'Gem'? Just what I was after," she finished, happy to finally find the gem she was looking for. Briefly wondering why it wasn't filed under Tiara, she magically levitated it up and teleported back.

Big Mac, who had been standing in place ever since Celestia had teleported, took a step back as Celestia reappeared right in front of him. In quick succession, she plopped the tiara on to his head, magicked up four princess specialty horseshoes, and braced herself. "Now, repeat after me, okay? These words will activate the magic in the gem, allowing you to transform. Don't worry about being attacked, for some reason monsters don't attack if you're talking," Celestia explained. Big Mac nodded, excited. Celestia took a deep breath as she recalled the ancient words that she should say, "I, the wielder of this gem," she started.

"I, the wielder of this gem," Big Mac repeated.

"Do solemnly swear," she continued.

"Do solemnly swear," he repeated again.

"That I shall uphold all that being a princess entails, and be a paragon of sweetness and virtue," she finished.

"That I shall uphold all that being a princess entails, and be a paragon of sweetness and virtue," said Big Mac. As he finished his sentence, he was lifted into the air and was engulfed in a bright pink light. The light expanded and grew brighter until it finally turned a pure white, then dissipated. As he floated down, the pony who was once a simple earth pony, was now an alicorn, with sparkles just appearing around him as an aftereffect of the transformation. "Wow," said Big Mac, as he gave his new wings a test flap.

"Exhilarating, isn't it? The powers of an almost goddess flowing through you. But you must remember your promise, Big Macintosh. The abuse of this power shall only lead badly," said Celestia, as she leaned close to Big Mac.

"I'll remember," said Big Mac, as he bowed low again. His wings brushed the floor on which he stood, as he was still unused to them. "How long do I have these powers?" he asked.

"Oh, about half an hour," Celestia replied.

"Thank you, princess," said Big Mac, bowing once more. Celestia sighed, as she walked with him through the door. Big Mac, deciding to test out his magic first, thought deeply about Sweet Apple Acres and focused energy into his horn.

Poof.

One miniature cloud of hearts later, and Big Macintosh found himself stuck up a tree. He looked down, and gulped. Heights weren't his strongest point. He considered calling for Applejack to fetch a ladder, but he was still embarrassed about the whole 'Turning into an alicorn princess' dream. After several minutes passed, a sudden realization that he had wings struck him. "Oh, yeah, wings," he muttered, as he jumped out of the tree... and promptly fell face first into the dirt. As his tiara bounced from his head into the dirt surrounding him, he realized it must have been half an hour already. "Time flies," he said, as he dusted himself off. Picking up the tiara, he did the same to it.

No matter how he looked at the problem, he could not figure out a way to hide the tiara, and he certainly was not going to explain this to his sister. The thought of it was too embarrassing. "Best thing for it," he thought to himself, "is to ask Rarity. She's sure to know some way to hide something like this."

The walk to Ponyville was boring but short. He had walked it many a time, but never quite this apprehensively. He just hoped that Rarity would understand, and that she would help him with his dilemma. Soon enough, he found himself in front of the Carousel Boutique. Walking up to the door, he knocked on it with several short but strong taps. Whistling a tune as he waited, he double checked he was still carrying the tiara - he was -, and recited the words he needed to say several times to himself.

The door opened, and behind was none other than Sweetie Belle. "Oh, hello Big Mac! What are you doing here?" she asked. Of all the ponies who she had expected to be the one knocking on the door, Big Macintosh was one of the few she expected the least.

"Oh, um..." Big Mac trailed off. Having the Element of Honesty as your sister made it extremely hard to lie. "It's a personal matter," he finally decided upon. It wasn't exactly a lie, the tiara (now hid behind his back) was a personal possession, and the favor he was going to ask for was personal. "Is your sister here?" he asked, realizing it was best if he threw the tiara into the bushes. Which he promptly did.

"Oh yes, I'll call for her!" Sweetie Belle said, before turning away from the door and shouting, "RARITY! BIG MAC IS HERE TO SEE YOU!" as loudly as she could muster.

A loud groan was heard from the upper floor of the Boutique, followed by a louder crash, and Rarity stumbling down the stairs. "Sweetie, darling, do you remember what I told you about my beauty sleep?" she asked, sighing as she removed her sleep mask.

"To not interrupt it unless it's a very important client, or an urgent matter that needs attending to?" replied Sweetie Belle hopefully.

"And is Big Macintosh either of these?" Rarity asked, still a bit grumpy after having been woken up early. Generous she may be, but there was a limit to how generous she could feel if she was deprived of sleep.

Big Mac lowered his head and poked it in, saying, "This is an urgent matter, actually," before retracting it.

"Well, why didn't you say so?!" said Rarity, as she ran down to the kitchen and opened the fridge. Pulling out thermos, she said to Sweetie Belle, "Now, do you see this thermos? Inside this is a brew of coffee so potent it could yank Luna out of the dreamscape with just a whiff. I keep it in the fridge for emergencies just like this," as she unscrewed the cap, and looked down into the pungent black liquid that was inside. She magically closed her nose, tilted her head up and the thermos with it, and took a big gulp of the potent brew.

Her back almost instantly arced from recoil, as her mane and tail shot straight up, then fell down. Her tail and manestyle were acceptable losses for an urgent request. "Now, Big Macintosh, how can I help you?" she asked, her eye twitching a bit.

"Well, you see, it's a bit of a personal matter..." he trailed off again, his eyes quickly looking at Sweetie Belle before returning to Rarity.

"Oh, I see," said Rarity as she turned to look at Sweetie Belle. "Now, Sweetie, can you be a good little filly and go whilst I and Big M-"

Rarity was cut off by Sweetie Belle saying, "Big Mac and I, Rarity." Rarity sighed, wondering if one day Sweetie Belle was going to get a dictionary cutie mark. She could see it happening.

"Okay, whilst Big Mac and I discuss whatever it is that he wants to discuss?" Rarity asked.

"Oh, sure!" said Sweetie Belle, as she started to walk out the door, "Today me and the rest of the gang are going to try and get out ski-surfing cutie marks!" she finished.

"Oh, dear," Rarity sighed, before yelling out of the door, "Sweetie Belle, darling, don't get hurt!" Then, turning to Big Mac, she asked, "So, Big Macintosh, what is this urgent matter that you need my help with?"

Big Macintosh, instead of replying, walked out of the door, picked up the tiara which had landed in the bushes, and walked back inside. Rarity gasped, as she laid eyes upon the exquisite craftsmanship of the crown, and the beautiful gem inlaid in the center. "Oh my..." she said in awe. It was one of the most perfect gems she had even seen in her whole career. "Where did you get this?" she asked, still staring at the tiara.

"Princess Celestia gave it to me," explained Big Mac. "Can you help me hide it?"

"Pr-pr-Princess Celestia?!" gasped Rarity, looking right at Big Mac. "Why on Equestria did you want something like this? And if you have it, why not show it off?" she asked, a confused look on her face.

"She, uh... gave it to me as a present. For helping stop the Tantabus. But I don't want Applejack to see it and think any less of me for wearing it," he explained. Again, it wasn't exactly a lie, helping stop the Tantabus was one of the reasons that Celestia gave him the tiara.

"Darling, do you really think that your own sister would think any less of you, simply because you happen to have a taste in fashion? That doesn't sound like Applejack at all," Rarity said.

"Please, Rarity, just help me," said Big Mac, his eyes looking pleadingly towards her.

Rarity sighed as she relented. "Fine, Big Mac. But you'll have to tell her eventually, you know?" she asked, before magically picking up the tiara. "Now, if you want me to help you hide this, I'm going to need to make you a suit," she said. "Fortunately for you, however, I still have your measurements from your brief stint in the Ponytones. Unfortunately, to make anything that could hide a tiara like that, I'd need a special kind of fabric, which I don't have enough of right now," she explained.

Big Mac looked crestfallen, as he heard what Rarity had to say. "Could I help you get that fabric?" he asked.

"Oh no, darling, only repeat customers can buy this fabric. There is one thing I can do for you, although it wouldn't hide the tiara," she offered, as she walked over to one of her many shelves and pulled out an almost empty bolt of black fabric.

Big Mac looked at the fabric, and noticed it seemed to ripple on its own, like the surface of a lake after a rock had been thrown into it. "What?" he asked, looking intently at her.

"Well, this is what little I have left of that fabric. If I cut out a certain pattern, I can create something to cover your eyes and thus hide your identity!" she explained, as she stretched the fabric over the table and got herself a pair of scissors.

"How does covering my eyes do anything?" asked Big Mac, as he watched Rarity go to work.

As soon as she had finished, Rarity placed the small bit of fabric, which looked like an eight turned on its side, with two holes poked out to see through, on his muzzle. "Now Big Mac, if you will, go over to that mirror and tell me what you see, okay?" she asked, a hoof pointing towards a mirror near the corner of the shop.

Big Mac, bewildered, walked over towards the mirror indicated and looked into it. To his surprise, he didn't recognize the stallion in the mirror. No matter how hard he looked into his reflection, the small strip of fabric seemed to of masked his appearance.

Rarity walked over and asked, "Do you recognize yourself?" as she herself peered into the mirror.

"Eenope," he replied, before removing the mask. Looking back in the mirror he saw plain old Big Macintosh staring right back at him.

"Ah, the wonders of fabric," said Rarity, before continuing, "Now, I'd normally have you pay... well, quite frankly, a lot of bits for this simple mask. But since you're my friend, I'll give it to you for free. On one condition, that is. You have to promise me to tell Applejack eventually, okay?"

Big Mac sighed before replying, "Okay."

"Very good! Now you can run off, but don't forget your tiara. You can even have this sack to carry it around in," said Rarity, as she draped a small burlap sack over his back.

"Thank you, Rarity," said Big Mac, a little taken aback. Walking out of the door, he wondered just how Applejack would react to his new found ability to turn into an alicorn princess for half an hour or so. With his tiara and mask in the sack draped over his back, he set back out to Sweet Apple Acres.

The trip back was as uneventful as when he made it earlier, although he did pass the CMC on his way so he knew he wouldn't be seeing Apple Bloom at the farm. His walk towards the barn itself however, was interrupted by the loud screams of his sister. "Get back you foul varmint!" she yelled from somewhere out in the apple tree orchard.

Big Mac broke into a gallop as he ran towards the orchard, ready to defend his sister against whatever it was that was attacking her. Upon reaching his destination, he hid behind an apple tree as he saw just what Applejack was fighting. It was a huge manticore, larger than the one he had heard countless stories about from Applejack. And much for violent, as evidenced by the fact it was trying to turn Applejack into small pony flavored ribbons with its claws. But Big Mac had to admit, she was holding her own against the monster, making the battle mostly a stale mate. He also knew that this could only last for so long, and that end up getting too tired. There was only one thing for him to do.

The tiara on his head, and the mask over his eyes, he said, "Moon Apple Power, M- No, that's not right..." Scratching his head, he tried to remember what the proper words were. "Unlimited appl- No, not it either. Rising Apple, s- Eenope," he muttered to himself. Finally, the words came to him, and he proudly proclaimed, "I, the wielder of this gem, do solemnly swear that I shall uphold all that being a princess entails, and be a paragon of sweetness and virtue."

One alicornization later, and he was ready to fight. He quietly admitted to himself that he probably could have helped fight off the manticore without transforming, but he wanted to test out his new powers. Flying out from behind the apple tree, he charged the manticore, head down so as to hit horn first.

The manticore, who at that time had been solely focused on one apple pony sausage, soon found himself recoiling from the impact. As the manticore raised his head, he saw yet another possible tasty snack. He was unused to ponies having both wings and a horn, but figured it would just make the meal even tastier.

"Who are you?" asked Applejack, looking at the mysterious alicorn who was totally not her big brother with wings and a horn.

"I'm... uh," Big Macintosh panicked as he tried to think of a name for himself. "Sailor Apple? No, doesn't make sense. Princess Apple? Too obvious," he thought, before an idea came to him. Raising his voice several octaves, he exclaimed, "My name is Princess Jackie!" it strained his voice, but he had to do it.

"Princess Jackie?" Applejack asked, raising an eyebrow. "Well, pleasure to meet ya, princess. Now, are you going to help me fight this thing off?" she asked, waving a hoof at the manticore who was just getting back up.

"Ee-" Big Macintosh cut himself off, realizing that he couldn't say 'eeyup' or 'eenope' in his princess form. "Yes, I'll help!" he exclaimed, still straining his voice to that ridiculous pitch.

Applejack raised her eyebrow again, but didn't say anything, instead focusing her attention on the manticore, now back up on its feet. "Don't suppose you happen to have any fancy magical princess stuff to help, do ya?" she asked, before charging the manticore headfirst. Like brother, like sister.

Big Mac thought a bit, until finally he came up with something.

"Princess Power Magic Apple Bow!"

One small puff of pink smoke and small hearts later, and a bright pink bow with apple motifs appeared in front of Big Mac. He quickly bucked a tree, and turned the apples that fell to the ground into arrows for his new bow with his magic. He levitated the bow up, loaded in a red heart-tipped arrow, and launched it at the manticore.

The first arrow missed, the second arrow went straight through Applejack's hat (Eliciting a shout from said pony), but the third hit the manticore right in its side. He hoof-pumped, glad he managed to hit his mark, before Applejack shouted, "Can you do more than that, princess? An arrow like that is barely going slow this thing down!"

"Hmph," snorted Big Mac. That was no way to treat a princess. "Let him try this on for size!" he yelled, his voice slipping a little.

"Princess Power Magic Apple Cannon!"

One significantly larger puff of pink smoke and hearts later, and a bright pink cannon, with green stripes, was right in front of Big Mac. Loading a few apples into the barrel, he aimed at the manticore, yelled, "Duck!" then lit the heart-shaped fuse. Bright pink smoke―Big Mac was starting to get tired of all the pink, but what could he do?—poured from the cannon barrel, as it launched the apples at the beast, all bunched together.

Applejack, who had pressed herself flat against the ground the moment she heard 'Jackie' yell to duck, was impressed by how far the manticore was sent back by the big ball of apples. It was sent so far and high up, it almost seemed to twinkle a bit before disappearing out of view. She was sure it'd be okay though, most monsters tended to survive the most improbably things.

Walking up to her hat, she pulled the arrow out of her hat, put it back on her head, and walked up to 'Princess Jackie'. "I must thank you, princess. I don't think I could have won that fight on my own. How about you and I go into the barn and get a bit more... acquainted?" she asked.

Big Mac looked visibly panicked, before Applejack said, "Just pulling ya leg, sugercube. My barn door doesn't swing that way, if you catch my drift," whilst struggling not to laugh.

Big Mac was going to retort, before a thought entered his head. "Gem Power at five percent. Recharge required," came the voice, apparently from the gem itself. He said a quick, "I'll have to talk with you later, bye!" before flying up and away.

"I do wonder who that was," said Applejack, as she dusted herself off, and went to go repair the fence the manticore had broken through.

A few minutes later, she spied Big Mac enter the orchard with a burlap sack over his back. "Hey Big Mac, can you drop that for a moment and come help with this fence? Some blasted manticore broke through it, and darn near tore me to shreds. Don't worry though, some mysterious princess came to my rescue," she yelled over to him, hoping he'd hear her. Apparently he didn't, as he seemed to speed up, and finally enter the house. Applejack shrugged as she went back to pounding in a stubborn nail. She knew he'd be back eventually, ready to help.

Several weeks later, at Canterlot palace, Celestia was relaxing with a cup of tea. Whilst coffee did a great job of getting her awake, she preferred a good cup of tea when she just needed to relax for a little while.

This relaxation did not last long, as soon somepony came bursting in through the door to her personal spa. It was none other than Luna herself, surprising Celestia a little bit. "Sister, what are you doing here?" she asked, carefully putting her tea cup down.

"WE BR-" Luna stopped, took a deep breath, then said, "I bring terrible news! There have been reports of a mysterious red alicorn going around Ponyville and defeating monsters. How could there be an alicorn that we don't know about?!" She was panicking, unsure about what to do.

Celestia just smiled, lifted her tea cup up, and took a sip.

"Sister? Does this not strike you as odd?" Luna asked, confused.

"Oh, it's perfectly fine Luna... perfectly fine," replied Celestia, a little smile still on her face.