Discord's Cousin

by Eddy13

Rating: everyone
Tags: Main 6, Discord, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Spike, Comedy, Random, Princess Celestia
Length: 2735

Discord and the Mane Six search for Discord's sole living relative.

In the midst of Celestia's pregnancy, the Mane Six take a look over Discord's family tree, and discover that a surviving line may exist in a pony! The search for Discord's long-lost cousin exposes shocking secrets and clears up many unexplained questions.

Published 2015-11-12 04:00:02 UTC
Last updated 2016-02-22 13:53:47 UTC

The Discovery

Night over Equestria was starting to wane, with the sun taking the moon's place little by little, as it usually did.

What was different than usual this time was that the one who usually raised the sun was still in bed, enjoying a peaceful sleep.

Princess Celestia slept soundly, her dreams dealing with both her past love, and her future, both of which left a cheerful smile on her face as she slumbered.

Eventually, her sleep came to an end and with a yawn, she rose for the double king-sized bed she was in, and was instantly greeted by a wonderful face she never got tired of seeing.

"Morning, Tia" her husband said sweetly. "Did you sleep okay?"

With a smile, Celestia turned to her love. "It was quite lovely, Discord."

She then attempted to get out of bed, only to be stopped by the draconequus.

"Now, Tia" Discord said soothingly "you know you have to go easy. That's why I've been covering raising the sun for you for the past month."

Celestia smiled. "And I appreciate it, my dear, but I am not fragile. I don't think a little movement will hurt the baby."

"Well as a father to be, you can't blame for not wanting to take chances" Discord replied, "I would've safeguarded the whole castle if you hadn't refused to let me."

Celestia smirked at her husband "While I'm glad that you're being protective, my dear, I don't want you going overboard."

"Fine" Discord submitted "but if you insist on getting out of bed, at least let me help."

So saying, he transported the two from their chambers to the dining hall of the castle.

"Now then" the draconequus said, now dressed as a waiter "What exactly are you craving today, my dear?"

"The usual" Celestia replied, "A bowl of chocolate soup."

"Coming up" Discord said before making the meal appear for his wife.

After finishing her meal, Celestia carefully trotted to the main hall with Discord ever-presently by her side.

"And how is my future niece or nephew doing today?" Princess Luna asked as she approached her sister and brother-in-law.

"Doing quite find, Luna" Celestia replied. "And how have you been handling the meetings during my absence?"

"It's going quite well, Sister" Luna answered before a smirk appeared on her face. "Although, there was one surprise visit that I think you might want to see for yourself."

So saying, the Princess of the Moon stepped to one side, allowing Celestia and Discord to see their visitors.

"Twilight!" Celestia said in happy surprise at the sight of the Princess of Friendship alongside four of her friends and her faithful assistant. "What brings you and your friends here?"

"We wanted to surprise you with a visit and see how you were doing" Twilight explained.

"Well, thank you all for doing so" Celestia replied before noticing the absence of a certain hyperactive pony. "Where's Pinkie Pie?"

"The poor girl got herself swamped with Pinkie Promises" Applejack replied. "We wanted to wait until she was done, but she insisted we come without her."

"That's very kind of Pinkie" Celestia said "I know full well how excited she gets about babies."

Meanwhile, Discord had swooped down and pulled his closest friend after Celestia into a hug.

"And how are you doing today, Fluttershy?" Discord asked in a babying voice as she tickled the Pegasus's ribs. "Is that brash loudmouth you're dating treating you okay?"

"That 'brash loudmouth', as you put it, is treating her just fine" Rainbow Dash commented in an annoyed manner. "Now would you mind putting my marefriend down?"

"Oh, fine." Discord relented as he sat Fluttershy down besides her marefriend. "But you can't blame me for being excited to see her. Ever since I learned about Tia's pregnancy, I haven't been able to leave the castle for our weekly afternoon tea."

Rainbow Dash smiled in a blissful and smug manner. "I've noticed."

"Now, Rainbow" Fluttershy said to the cyan pegasus calmly. "How long will it be before you'll get along with Discord as well as I do?"

"Probably till he helps us save Equestria from a power hungry villain more dangerous than him" Rainbow retorted.

"You never know" Discord shrugged "That might happen."

"Well, in any case, come" Celestia as she walked towards a door. "We can talk more in the study room. Luna, continue managing today's meetings, please."

"Yes, Sister" Luna said with a nod as the group left the throne room.

Arriving in the meeting room for the princesses, the group settled down into chairs conjured by Discord.

"So Celestia" Rarity spoke up sitting next to her dragon of a coltfriend "How has your condition been doing?"

"Yeah," Spike added. "Ever since you made the announcement to all of Equestria, ponies have been mobbing all of us for answers."

"Aah shoot" Applejack chuckled. "They're just curious about the new royal heir that's coming."

"Really?" Rainbow Dash asked with a smirk and a raised eyebrow. "I seem to recall earlier this week, you were complaining about that 'dagblasted paparazzi that bugged you to the point that you couldn't step out of your house'."

While Applejack glared at her sports rival, Celestia said "Well, to answer your question, it's going fine. Discord may be a little overprotective of the foal, but I do find it endearing."

"Well, what can you expect?" Discord shrugged. "Not only is this the first child I'll ever had, but it's also...the start of my new family."

The ponies looked to Discord with sullen looks, knowing he was referring to his race perishing when the first Hearth's Warming snowstorm wiped out the Kingdom of the Draconequui. Seeing the pained look on her friend's face, Fluttershy decided to try and make him feel better.

"Uh, Discord?" she asked politely. "If it's not too much trouble, can you tell us a little bit more about your family back when your people were still around?"

Discord looked at the pegasus with a surprised expression.

"I mean," Fluttershy muttered softly "it might help us get to know you more and help ease your grief over losing them. Of course, if it's too painful for you to talk about..."

"It's okay, Fluttershy" Discord said with a smile. "I think I've gotten to the point where I'm ready to talk about my family. Now then."

With a snap of his fingers, Discord made a large photo album appear in his hands. A very large photo album, thicker than any book Twilight had ever seen and looked like it weighed three tons. On the cover was the title "Dissy's Family Album".

"Gather around, everypony" Discord invited the group to come closer, which they did. With a wave of his finger, Discord opened the book.

"Here, we have my great grandparents" Discord narrated as he pointed to a picture of two draconequui looking closely like the famous painting 'The Farmer and his Wife'. "Grandpappy was known for having the first and only cotton candy farm."

"I'm betting he wasn't a better farmer than the Apple Family" Applejack said stubbornly.

Discord flipped the book to another page. "Ah, and here's me with my eldest brother Paradox" he said as he pointed to a picture of him as a child laughing as his brother used a joybuzzer on a neighborhood draconequus. "He was quite the practical joker. Taught me everything I know about humor."

"How nice to see your...role model" Rarity coughed. "I know I wouldn't teach Sweetie Belle any bad habits."

"No, you'd just teach her to be overly dramatic" Rainbow Dash pointed out, earning a glare from the unicorn.

Smirking at the antics, Discord turned to another random page. "And here's-WHOOP!" he quickly said as he immediately turned to the next page with a sheepish look. "Never mind that one. Forget about it."

"Wait a minute, let me see that" Rainbow Dash said with a mischievous grin before turning the page back, followed by her eyes getting wide and snickering under her breath before she fell on the floor laughing uproaringly.

As Discord turned a glowing bright red from head to toe, the rest of the group peered at what Rainbow had saw and were in for a sight.

For there, on the page, was a photo of Discord as a baby, wearing a diaper and drinking a bottle of chocolate milk that he was holding with his hands and feet.

"Very," Celestia coughed for a second "interesting picture, Dear."

"Reminds me of Apple Bloom's baby pictures" Applejack pointed out.

"It...is adorable" Fluttershy comforted the embarrassed Discord.

"You find that embarrassing?" Twilight scoffed "You should see the photos of Spike in the weeks after he hatched."

"Twilight!" Spike shouted, red in the face, "Not in front of Rarity!"

"Oh, relax, dragokins" Rarity calmed her coltfriend, "I'm sure I'd find them endearing."

At the same time, Rainbow Dash was finishing up her fit of laughter before getting to her hooves and saying, while gasping for breath "Your last credentials as the 'Lord of Chaos' have officially disappeared!"

"Ahem" Discord cleared his throat, "Yes, anyway" he said as he more than a little enthusiastically turned the page to a picture of hundreds of draconequui "here's a photo taken at my family reunion. The little guy on my father's shoulders is me."

"Wow" Applejack said in surprise "And I thought I had a large family."

"Discord, who is that one literally giving rabbit ears to Paradox?" Fluttershy asked as she pointed to a draconequus with buck teeth, bear claws, dragon wings, crow feet, an alligator body, and a donkey tail.

"Ah, that was my good ol' Cousin Dingbat" Discord said with fond memories. "He and Paradox were rival pranksters, always trying to outdo each other. Still, despite how crazy his jokes were, Dingbat never took them to a malicious level and only enjoyed getting a laugh out of everyone."

"Sounds like Dingbat had a better sense of humor than you did during your 'evil overlord' phase" Rarity pointed out, causing Discord to grin nervously.

"Hmm" Twilight pondered for a moment as she looked at the family photo.

"What is it, Twilight?" Spike asked.

"I could swear that face looks familiar" Twilight said as she focused on Dingbat's image.

"Shucks, lots of animals have buck teeth" Applejack imputed. "Heck, my cousin Apple Cobbler has buck teeth so big that he once ended up the king of beavers."

"I was wondering why Mr. Beaverton Beaverteeth said that he preferred being around that 'other' Apple when you got mad about his dam flooding your apple trees" Fluttershy commented.

Suddenly, Twilight's eyes lit up in realization. "That's it!" she cried before looking up to see a lightbulb dangling over her head. "Discord."

"What?" Discord said with a shrug before making the bulb disappear. "I've never used that gag before."

"What are you talking about, Deary?" Rarity asked.

"I just realized something" Twilight said quickly "Everypony stay here, I'll be right back!"

With that, Twilight disappeared in flash of lavender light.

Ten minutes later, when Rarity called best 500 out of 1000 after losing another round of Tic-Tac-Toe to Discord, Twilight reappeared, surprising the group.

"Is it that annoying when I do that?" Discord asked.

"You get use to it" Fluttershy said with a smile.

"Take a look at this" Twilight said as she levitated a book onto the table in the center of the room. "A few days ago, I was perusing the library of my castle and I found this historical archive book."

"I remember that" Spike said "You were still reading it when I got home from my date with Rarity."

"Anyway" Twilight said as she magically opened the book to a picture of a group of ponies. "I decided to learn about the ponies who founded Ponyville and I found this photo of the worker ponies who helped build the settlement."

"So?" Applejack asked.

"Take a look at the one on the far right" Twilight said as she pointed to the pony in question.

Doing what she said, the group looked at the brown pony with a black mane, wearing an old hat and had bricks for a cutie mark. What really stood out to them though was his face that looked strangely familiar, especially his buck teeth.

"Why" Discord said in surprise "That's Cousin Dingbat! I'd recognize that grin of his anywhere! He never could change his face completely whenever he shapeshifted."

"But wait a minute" Applejack said as she shook her head in confusion. "Ponyville was founded long after the snowstorm of the first Hearth's Warming. How can that be Dingbat if all the draconequui besides Discord were gone?"

"Dingbat must've escaped the Kingdom of the Draconequui before it was destroyed by the snowstorm" Twilight surmised.

"And when he came upon the pony tribes, he disguised himself as an earth pony in order to blend in" Rarity finished.

"I don't get it" Rainbow Dash said in confusion "If this guy was really a draconequus, how come he's not around anymore?"

"While draconequui have long lifespans, we're not actually immortal" Discord explained, "The reason I'm still around is because I was still a toddler when the blizzard hit."

"Well, this was an interesting discovery, Twi" Applejack said to the alicorn "But if Dingbat is long gone, what's the point of bringing this up?"

"I believe you're overlooking the possibility of something, Applejack" Celestia imputed. "If Dingbat did indeed escape the doomed draconequus kingdom and started a new life in Equestria in the guise of a pony, then it's possible that he settled down and started a family."

Twilight nodded "Which means, provided that his bloodline didn't die out, that some ponies out there might be his descendants!"

"And that would mean..." Fluttershy said before her eyes went wide and she turned to Discord "you might still have relatives out there!"

In shock, Discord dropped the photo album in his hands, his eyes fell out of their sockets and his jaw fell off. After picking up his jaw and eyes, he looked to Twilight with surprise.

"Y-You really think that some ponies out there might be related to me?"

"It is a good possibility" Twilight shrugged.

"I don't know" Rainbow Dash pointed out. "I mean, if there were ponies out there with draconequus blood, and in other words, draconequus magic, wouldn't somepony have noticed any shifts in reality?"

"The draconequus magic could've diminished as Dingbat's bloodline passed down through generations" Celestia pointed out "It might have gotten to the point that the current generation doesn't even know about it."

"Still, I think we should check into it" Twilight said "If Discord really does have any surviving relatives out there, he deserves to know."

"Why that's very kind of you, Twilight" Discord said to alicorn with genuine gratitude.

"Yeah, and suppose we do find a descendant of Discord's cousin, then what?" Rainbow Dash asked. "How are we suppose to tell them they're a distant cousin of the Lord of Chaos?"

"Well, he is the Prince of Equestria, now" Fluttershy pointed out. "Perhaps they'd be willing to give him a chance if they got to know the real him like we have."

"Alright then, we'll head over to the Castle of the Two Sisters and start combing for Dingbat's family tree" Twilight said as she lead the group to the door. "Spike, send a message to Flash to tell Pinkie Pie to meet us at the castle when she's done."

"Alright" Spike said as he procured a quill and parchment and started writing "But why not send directly to Pinkie?"

"She's busy helping other ponies" Twilight said "It wouldn't feel right to disturb her."

"Fair point" Spike shrugged as the group walked out of the room.

"Tia" Discord said to his wife. "I know that I should be here to look after you and the baby, but if there's a chance Twilight's right..."

Celestia held up a hoof to quiet her husband. "I understand" Celestia said with a smile "This is something you have to find out. Don't worry. Luna will watch over me while you're gone."

Discord smiled before embracing his love in a gentle hug. "Thank you, Dear. I promise I'll be back as soon as I can."

With that, Discord followed the group out the door.

"Good luck with your investigation, my little ponies" Celestia called out. "I feel that whatever you discover will greatly affect Equestria."