I'm Mad as Tartarus And I'm Not Going To Take It Anymore!

by Curtis Kaiju

Rating: teen
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Twilight Sparkle, Slice of Life, Crossover
Length: 907

Twilight becomes a political satire radio show host.

Being a Princess is a big job. And Twilight should know. She never asked to be one, and now she's constantly bombarded with questions, interviews, responsibility and other things she never asked for.

It's made her as mad as Tartarus, and she's not going to take it anymore.

A crossover of MLP:FiM and Shaun Micallef's Mad As Hell, and also my first story.

Teen for use of the word a naughty word in the first chapter.

Published 2015-07-23 16:00:01 UTC
Last updated 2015-07-23 16:00:01 UTC

The Other Only Chapter

SEVERAL MONTHS LATER...

All around Equestria, ponies glanced at their clocks and rushed to the radio. The familiar theme music began to play, before fading to a massive applause.

"Hello everypony, and welcome to another episode of 'Twilight Sparkle's Mad As Tartarus'!" came Twilight's voice. "Well, well, well, what an interesting week for Equestria this week!" She paused. "Of course, when I say interesting, I am lying!"

The audience laughed.

"And in the local Ponyville Election, Mayor Mare won again. It was a massive shock to everypony, since she was the only candidate."

The audience laughed.

"But you've got to do more than be the only candidate if you want to appeal to the rest of Ponyville, or indeed Equestria."

The audio then cut to a pre-recorded clip from an earlier news show.

"Princess Celestia took the time to visit Ponyville and congratulate Mayor Mare on her 70th successful re-election. A large crowd gathered and pledged to vote for Mayor Mare again next year."

"But it's all about the audience, isn't it?" The audio cut back to Twilight. "Here, in a recorded segment, Mayor Mare reads a speech supporting her election."

"I am sick and tired of attending big meetings..."

"Hmm, reminds me of somepony..." Twilight mused. "Oh yes. Me."

The audience laughed.

"But now over to the royals. The latest poll showed that ponies prefer Luna to Celestia by just 30 to 22. And yet only Celestia has a proper throne. You can only imagine the result once ponies make up their minds."

The audience... well, you get the idea.

"And it seems the other royals agree, as Shining Armour reports..."

Another audio clip from an earlier report played.

"I do think Luna is making the right moves currently, and asserting herself into her position, with Celestia still recovering from the withdrawal of Twilight Sparkle's position as princess."

"Mmm," said Twilight. "We now cross over to our live Canterlot correspondent, Spike. Spike, how do you think Luna is currently handling her position."

"Brilliantly Twilight!" said Spike. "There's never been so much work done since you were Princess! But from my current position, I can only see through several castle windows, and there appears to be no action currently happening."

"And how's Celestia?"

"She's currently on holiday at Taxpayers' expense."

"Thank you Spike.

"Thanks Twi!"

"Later on this month, another Grand Galloping Gala! I can just remember last year's!"

"Attendee's of the recent Grand Galloping Gala were shocked when a prank set up by Ponyville resident Pinkie Pie backfired, causing a pond to spontaneously combust."

"Yes, I still don't know how that was even possible. But now, over to sport. The Wonderbolts were interviewed after a brief practice session in preparation for the Gala, and had this to say..."

"We're really looking forward to putting on a great show this year, better than last year..."

"What, better than Pegasi flying?" gasped Twilight in mock shock. "It's almost as exciting as a Unicorn performing magic!"

An audio clip played, and all who heard it face hoofed, and agreed they should've seen it coming.

"The Great and Powerful Trixie!"

The Only Chapter

The crowd waited anxiously outside Twilight's castle. She was about to read her official speech to celebrate the fifth anniversary of her transformation into a princess. A hushed silence fell over the assembled ponies as Twilight stepped out onto the small stage

"Hello everypony," said Twilight, smiling warmly. Her five friends were visible at the front of the crowd, alongside Celestia, Luna, Cadence and Shining Armour. "During my time as Princess of Friendship, I've been given many new and exciting responsibilities! Ponies and other species from all over Equestria- and beyond- have come to me asking to help solve friendship problems! Every school in Equestria asks me to oversee troublesome foals! And interviewers!" A tone of anger shot through her voice. "So many interviewers, all asking the same sodding questions over and over!"

A gasp rose from the crowd. The other Princesses' mouths hung open. Spike fainted.

"Always, ponies come to me about their problems! Never thinking I might have something else to do, or somepony else's problems! Or that it's my only day off! Some of them haven't even tried to sort things out myself, and they never needed me in the first place! Everypony's complaining about the smallest of problems! And I'm sick of it! It's like everything going crazy, so we don't try to sort things out anymore! We withdraw from problems while moaning that the problem doesn't seem to ever get solved! And you get frustrated and go home and ask to be left alone!" By now Twilight was angrily screaming at the crowd, who could only mindlessly stare back.

"Twilight!" Spike ran onto the stage, having recovered from his shock. "You're going crazy!"

"SHUT UP, SPIKE!" Twilight yelled. Spike whimpered and backed away. Twilight turned back to the audience. "I'm not going to leave you alone! I'm mad! I'm sick of the protests and riots and complaints, I hate it all! I don't know what problems to solve first, and I don't instantly know how to solve them, like you expect me to! All I know is I'm mad! I'm mad as Tartarus and I'm not going to take it anymore!"

The shocked silence was broken by a single applause from Celestia.

"So I'm going to be a satirical radio host," announced Twilight.

The applause stopped.