Jeff in Equestria

Chapters

New World
New Faces
The Same Old Jeff
Waking up
On the Job, looking to hire
Time to meet the Team
Royal Intervention and a Split Mind
Interview with a Serial Killer
Ponyville

New World

The scene in the house was brutal there was blood everywhere, standing in the room was Jeff taking in his recent masterpiece, looking on with his eyes that he himself had cut the eyelids out of so he could avoid sleep. He walked to the master bedroom and looked in the mirror seeing his own pale white skin and permanently carved smile. The bathroom itself was also bloody with his first victim of the household in the tub stabbed beyond recognition. He got in through the bathroom window and started his massacre from there.

"Ya, know I can't help but feel a bit empty." Jeff said to no one in particular. "Yeah, sure killing is liberating and all. I feel like I need a challenge." Jeff then thought back to Jane and then shook his head. "Nope not going down that road again. I already have scars that make me beautiful, I don't need anything else that will potentially kill me." Jeff continued to walk about the house until he noticed police sirens going off in the distance. "And that's my cue to leave."

Jeff started to go back to the place where he entered the but not before writing 'Jeff was here.' in blood on the wall and jumping out of the bathroom window and dashing into the forest.

"The best part about being me. The donut eating pigs will think that someone trying to be a proxy will take the blame and I get off scot free."

Jeff started to whistle a tune that he just couldn't quite place, he thought nothing of it and he started to twirl his knife around making slashes through the air occasionally cutting a tree or so. He continued to walk and whistle until he heard a twig snap. Drawing his second knife he observed the area to find that he had stumbled across a pack of wolves snarling at him. "Not what I had in mind but, it'll do for now."

Three wolves launched themselves at the boy in the white hoodie, his permanent grin just grew even larger. Like a tornado he just spun with his two knives and cut the first dog's stomach to ribbons. Then he reversed the knife in his left hand to a backwards position and stabbed the second wolf in the skull killing it instantly. The third wolf latched itself on Jeff's left arm, he took his other knife and stabbed it right through the heart. The wolfs jaw slackened and let go. The few remaining wolves ran off knowing that Jeff was not prey but an even larger predator than that of themselves. He continued to walk then he spoke again.

"Hopefully that stupid fucking mutt didn't break through the skin. Oh I can see it now, Jeff the Killer dead of an infected dog bite. That image would be plastered all over the news. Then after finding out about me those motherfuckers will try to hunt down other creepies. Pfft, like that'll happen."

Jeff looked around to see if any dog was stupid enough to stay behind and try to avenge their other pack members, it didn't look like it. In fact when he looked back he didn't even see the corpses of the dogs. He found a stream near by and sat down to clean his knives when he noticed another odd thing. His knives weren't covered in blood, but something else. He touched the substance to find that it was sticky then he took a big glob off the blade with his index finger and stuck it in his mouth. It wasn't the most sanitary thing to do but he didn't give two shits.

"Tastes like maple syrup, what's that shit called again?" He thought for a bit then he snapped his fingers. "Sap, that's what it is! Wait, mutts don't bleed sap so where the fuck am I?"

He looked around then shrugged and got back to what he was doing. He started to whistle again still not being able to recall where he had heard the tune, now it was getting on his nerves. Once his knives were all clean and sparkly he put them in their usual resting place and looked at his clothes were extra bloody especially his hoodie. He looked to see a clearing of trees near and decided to set up camp there.

He took off his hoodie and his black t-shirt underneath his white hoodie. His body was scarred but muscular he had a six-pack of washboard abs trailing down and being cut off at the waist of his black jeans his body was devoid of any hair and paler than that of a cloud. He started with his hoodie because those stains would be the hardest to get out. Fifteen minutes later and he got most of the stains out with an old stain stick that he stole from one of the houses earlier, his stomach then growled.

"Oh, right...food."

Jeff may have been skinny but he wasn't a twig when he needed to eat he ate. He ate mostly meat so his body would be energized throughout most of the nights when he was off doing his thing. He then looked at the river. "This doesn't look like that there's a lot of fish in here."

He looked around and off in the distance he could see lights, and where there are lights there are food, hopefully. Jeff gathered his things and started to walk in that direction he had his hoodie on since it was now dry-ish. When he came across those lights he found out that it was a cottage. "Well that's new."

Jeff was looking at a tree that looked like it was converted into a home. The tree-house had pens and bird houses. "Someone's a bit into nature."

Jeff walked up to the door and knocked. Then he slammed his hand into his face and hid in the bushes. He heard the door open and someone said. "H-hello i-is a-anypony there?"

Jeff cleaned out his ears, did he hear correctly? Did that person just say anypony? He gulped then he stepped out of the bushes, what he saw he couldn't explain. It was a pony, not just any type of pony, it was yellow with pink hair and wings.

New Faces

Jeff was staring at the pony his jaw open and was receiving the same treatment she looked like she was about to scream when Jeff reacted and covered her mouth saying. "I'm sorry. I'm not going to hurt you so when I drop my hand please don't scream. Ok?"

The pony nodded and Jeff dropped his hand and she looked at him. Jeff let his guard down a little bit, the pony then spoke up. "You're not going to hurt me?"

"Do I have a need to?'

She shut her mouth then Jeff's stomach growled and he looked at the pony and asked. "Do you have any food? Preferably meat, I can eat vegetables too."

"I-I have some fish, if that's alright with you."

"Thank you."

Jeff looked down to see a bunny at his feet chittering angrily, he shrugged. "I don't understand you buddy, so go fuck yourself." He then punted the bunny into the other room and there was a crash the pony poked her head in and asked.

"Is everything alright?"

"Just fine thank you...I just realized I never got your name."

"It's Fluttershy."

She held her hoof out and Jeff weirdly took it into his hand and shook it while saying. "I'm Jeff."

She went back into the kitchen, a few moments later she came back with a plate of fish and vegetables. "So Fluttershy what do you do for a living?" he said, while finishing up his fish and starting on his veggies.

"O-oh me? I take care of animals."

"Vet? That's cool I guess. Got any friends?"

"A F-few, what about you?"

Jeff stopped looking at his now empty plate. "I don't have any friends. Not a lot of people like me."

"Aww, that's so sad." Fluttershy flew over and hugged Jeff. That's something no one has ever done was hug an insane killer. Surprisingly enough Jeff hugged back.

"No one has ever done that." Jeff said. "Thank you."

"Like my friend Pinkie says everypony deserves two things, a smile and a hug."

"Well I got one of the two covered always."

Fluttershy then yawned, "I should be heading to bed. Got a lot of things to do tomorrow, good night Jeff."

"Good night Fluttershy." Jeff then strolled out and saw a shed. "Must be her's, screw it I'll sleep in there." Opening the door it was a supply shed. Jeff settled in on his improvised bed using his t-shirt as a pillow, going unconscious.

***************************************

Jeff woke up when Fluttershy opened the door to get food pellets and other items for her animals. She saw Jeff and gasped, Jeff groaned and sat up.

"You know I would have let you stay in my guest room if you had asked." Fluttershy commented.

Jeff popped the bones in his neck and fingers, "Sorry wasn't thinking last night."

"It's alright." Fluttershy finished, trotting over to the bag of food she struggled to lift it. Jeff grabbed the bag and flung it over his shoulder.

"I'll help. It's the least I can do for you not ratting me out to the authorities."

"Um... thanks I think?"

"No problem."

The pair went along with feeding the animals. He was a bit hesitant when it came to the bear so Fluttershy handled that part. Jeff handled feeding the inside animals and chickens outside when the bag got light enough for Fluttershy to carry around easily. He finished putting the bird seed in and got out the bowls for the animals on the floor. He was almost finished when he got a thump on the foot, it was the same punk-ass bunny from last night. He looked down at it then gave him the same food he gave all the other animals, he turned back to the kitchen to put away the leftover food when he got hit in the back of the head with a bowl.

Jeff's eyes shrunk and he whipped around knives out. "Ok, which one of you assholes threw that?"

The animals scattered leaving the bunny singled out, Jeff sheathed his knives and grabbed the bunny by the scruff of his neck bringing him to eye level.

"Ok. I'm not going to hurt you, because Fluttershy's hospitality is a good thing going for me right now. Considering I'm in a world that's new to me. I don't know shit about anything around here. If I ever catch you being a stuck up fucking brat to me or Flutters then I will not hesitate to make you GO....TO....SLEEP."

Jeff dropped the bunny, grabbed the bowl, put the food back in the bowl and put it in front of the bunny. Fluttershy came back into the house and asked.

"Is everything alright in here? I heard some shouting."

"Yeah everything's fine, just tripped and hit my head."

"Ok, you're fine though right?"

"It'll take a lot more than a bump on the head to put me down."

"Ok...., well Jeff if you don't mind I would like to introduce you to my friends?"

Jeff pondered this thought, in his insane mind it was just a bunch white noise but one thought screamed above the others. yeS wE CoUld fiNALly FigURe oUt WhEre we ArE.

"If they are as half nice as you are I wouldn't mind at all."

The Same Old Jeff

It was all planned out, the girls had planned out a picnic near Fluttershy's cottage. She would introduce Jeff as a nice guy they would get along great hopefully. Jeff was waiting his knives were hidden away and he was carving a hole into a tree. Fluttershy was waiting on the hill when she waved her arms over her head that was his signal.

*********************

Fluttershy had been nervous before, but this was the absolute worst type of nerves she had felt in a long time. She was even more nervous then when she had the job of reforming Discord, that had turned out fine in the end. She noticed her friends approaching, the girls were so relieved that they got time off of their jobs to relax and enjoy this picnic. Rarity was the one that spoke up first.

"Fluttershy, darling while this is nice and all. This isn't like you at all, something's up."

"Oh yes, you're right well yesterday something happened and I met someone."

"I think you mean somepony." Corrected Twilight.

Fluttershy then waved Jeff over and he proceeded to walk out of his hiding place and the girls gasped taking a defensive stance. Fluttershy stood in front of Jeff Rainbow looked at her.

"Shy what are you doing? Get away from that thing."

Fluttershy looked at her friends. "This is not a 'thing' Rainbow this is the person I was talking about. His name is Jeff."

"Great you she even named it now it's going to be harder to beat."

"What? I didn't name him. That's the name he told me he had."

"Hi." Jeff then waved. "I'm Jeffery, you can call me Jeff."

The girls significantly calmed after hearing Jeff talk and converse. Jeff clapped his hands, "I believe introductions are in order then."

They had all been introduced. Pinkie wanted to know where he got his smile from. "Trust me Pinkster you don't want me to tell you." Jeff noticed his killing urges were popping up again. There was a growl, Jeff realized that it wasn't his stomach his pupils shrunk while head turned to meet the the other wolves from last night. There were over 20 of them this time.

The girls screamed, Fluttershy grabbed his arm. "C'mon we need to get out of here Jeff."

"No Fluttershy, I'm going to make these wolves......GO.....TO....SLEEP!"

Jeff then stood with his knives drawn and charged the wolves.

"What in tarnation is 'e doin'?" Applejack asked.

Fluttershy gulped. "I don't know."

Meanwhile Jeff was having the time of his life, laughing while slaughtering these wooden wolves. He jumped over two, stabbing them in the base of the neck and thrusting his blades forward, splitting the wolves skulls in two. Rainbow rushed to try to help but was stopped by Twilight's magic.

"What are you doing Twilight?"

"Keeping you from getting slaughtered. Look at Jeff, there were twenty timberwolves when he started, now there's only eight."

Jeff's knifes impaled two other wolves and he smashed the two together. Twirling his knives he thew the one that stuck in the wolves skull

He looked at the carnage then he looked at the six ponies on the hill and his pupils grew back to normal size. He tried to approach the girls but Twilight put a shield up and spoke. "Don't come any closer you monster."

"M-monster? I just saved your lives and you repay me by calling me a monster. IF IT WEREN'T FOR ME YOU WOULD ALL BE WHERE THOSE WOLVES ARE!"

"He's right." The pink mare stepped past the shield.

"Pinkie darling, what are you doing." Rarity asked.

Pinkie hugged Jeff, then so did Fluttershy and surprisingly Applejack.

"You too AJ?" asked Rainbow.

"Ah know that what 'e did was more than a bit freaky, but he was honest, an' to tell th' truth. What he jus' did makes him a hero."

Hero? Jeff the Killer a hero? As if. Jeff burst out laughing that caught the attention of all the mares. Twilight dropped her shield, "What's so funny?"

Jeff's cackling grew even more disturbing. It was now scaring the six mares. "mE A hErO? tHAt'S FUCKING FuNny!" His eyes were now starting to glow red. Then he just stopped and collapsed.

************************

Jeff was surrounded by darkness. He stood up and looked around, "What the hell is this place? Where the fuck am I?"

"JEFFREY WOODS."

The voice took him off guard and he scoped the area to find where the voice came from. He turned to see a midnight blue winged unicorn?

"What in fuck's name are you?"

"SILENCE."

"I CAN YELL LOUDER!"

The pony pinned her ears to her head. "My apologies Jeffery, sometimes I fall into that old habit."

"I have three questions. Where am I, Who, and What the fuck are you?"

"My apologies again Jeffery, for this place is your dreamscape. Each pony has a unique dreamscape, you may not be a pony but you still have one. As or who I am, I am Princess Luna the mover of the moon and protector of dreams, and I am an alicorn. It's a combination of all three pony species. I have the strength of an Earth pony. The magic of a Unicorn, and the flight ability of a Pegasus."

"My name is Jeff, not Jeffery and for your information I do not have a dreamscape."

"Tis why thine dreamscape is nothing but a void. Tis cause of your lack of being able to slumber peacefully."

"You mean sleeping?"

"Aye."

"Then no. I don't sleep I make others go to sleep." Jeff then drew his knives and spun them in his hands. "That's where my babies come into play."

"I know, while you do not have any dreams I have searched your memories. To say that they are gruesome is an understatement." Luna then shivered. "Though that's not why I am here. There is a presence trying to force it's way into equestria." She then flashed an image that Jeff knew very well.

"Zalgo."

"You know of this creature?"

"Yeah, we had confrontations before. None of it ended well, I thought he was dead." Jeff remembered back to Korbyn. "What do you want?"

"I have a need of your skills. Twilight Sparkle told me of how easily you destroyed those timberwolves."

"Then I passed out."

The room started to get lighter.

"It would appear that you are regaining conciseness. Tell Twilight that you have met with me, if she doesn't believe you tell her that she sent a scroll through Spike."

"Ok."

Waking up

Jeff woke with a start. He observed his surroundings and saw that he was in a hospital. He blinked.

"Wait?"

He blinked again. "WHAT THE FUCK!"

Jeff when on a rampage until the girls ran in and Pinkie tackled him in a hug.

"Ohthankgoodnessyou'realright." Pinkie blurted out

"I'm far from alright." Jeff said after detaching the pink mare from his body and setting her on the floor.

"I'll say darling, you're clothing is stained." She used her light blue magic to hand Jeff his hoodie back while she continued. "I had tried to wash out the stains but they were almost as stubborn as Rainbow and Applejack combined."

"Hey!" Dash shouted.

"Don't even bother RD, it's true we do have a stubborn streak."

Jeff took his hoodie back. He looked at the marshmallow pony and asked. "Did you try using bleach?"

The fashionista shivered. "Yes, I did as a last resort. It ruins clothing faster than my sister and her friends."

Jeff put it on. "I'm mad right now so just get out of my way."

The girls moved except for Twilight. "You aren't going anywhere until you explain just what exactly you are. "

"You know what I'm not in the mood for bullshit. Okay I have one question then I'll answer any question you have. Deal?" Jeff said.

"Fine, as long as you co-operate things should go well. Deal."

"What happened after I passed out?"

***********************

"My word, what happened?" Rarity asked.

Fluttershy went up and checked his pulse, she had worked with monkeys before while on vacation. While his pulse was weak it was there. "We need to get him to a hospital." She said.

"Are you crazy he's a monster! He said so himself. Why would we help him?" Twilight said.

Fluttershy looked at Twilight. "Just because he said he was a monster doesn't mean we shouldn't help him. He needs help and I'm going to be kind and help him. He doesn't deserve the way you talk about him. Yes he killed those timberwolves but he is right, if he didn't kill those wolves we would have been the ones that are dead."

Twilight looked at the ground. "Okay, I'm sorry Fluttershy you're right."

Twilight didn't know a lot of healing magic, that was an entirely different school of magic. She had studied enough to heal cut and scrapes whenever she or her friends got them. She levitated Jeff onto her back while Pinkie and Applejack helped. They had arrived at the hospital and took some blood samples, The doctors told the mane six that Jeff was going to be fine he was just exhausted. Rainbow just looked at Jeff.

"Okay, that's very creepy." The cyan pegasus stated.

"What is?" Twilight looked up from a magazine titled 'Unicorn's Horns and Spell Incantations.' The other girls looked at Rainbow Dash.

"Okay you know how when you go to sleep you close your eyes right?" Dash stated.

"Yes. They're called eyelids. They help keep dirt and refresh your eyes when you blink." Twilight stated.

"Look at Jeff." Dash pointed her hoof at Jeff and it looked like he was looking back but he was out of it.

"I see what you mean now. That is rather disturbing, at least he fashionable enough to cover the fact with eyeliner." Rarity states.

Twilight got up and was now looking Jeff straight in the eyes, half expecting him to move and yell 'BOO' for a laugh. He brushed his part of his hair back. She asked Rarity. "Does eyeliner go all the way around the eye?"

"No, it's not unheard of but it's not normal. Why do you ask?"

"I don't think it's eyeliner Rarity." Twilight said. She started to look around the room and found an unsharpened pencil then proceeded to poked around the edge of Jeff's eye. There was a tiny crunch and she pulled back. She sniffed the end of the pencil, it smelled like ash. She then dropped the pencil saying. "OH CELESTIA!"

"What is it Twi'?" AJ asked.

"I think I figured out what happened that made him look like that."

"Well what is it?" Fluttershy asked.

"His eyes aren't closed because he doesn't have any eyelids. From what I can deduce they've been burnt out."

The girls went queasy after that and Fluttershy ran to the bathroom. The girls were now surrounding Jeff, and then Fluttershy came back, looked at Twilight. "What do you think we should do?"

Twilight started up a spell and the magic aura covered his eyes, slowly his eyelids grew back. The eyelids stayed open, Twilight spoke up. "I have a feeling he might be angry but he needs his rest, the doctors told me that if he keeps going like this. He'll die."

Rarity hummed. "It's still missing something.......I got it."

Rarity pulled out an eyeliner pencil and drew around Jeff's eyes. "Magnifiqué, that's just what he needed."

Rainbow Dash looked at it and commented. "It does make him look like his regular self. As much as I hate to admit this, good job Rares."

Fluttershy spoke out of character speaking up. "I think that Jeff needs his rest. Let's leave him be for now."

*****************

Jeff now looking at the purple pony that dared to step in front of him, and have his eyelids regrown. Then he thought back to what the doctors said. He weighed his options and thinking right now some sleep wouldn't be that bad. "I got another question Twinkie."

"It's Twilight."

"Whatever. When can I leave this place? I don't like hospitals."

"We can leave anytime you want. Oh by the way I brought your things to the library." Twilight answered.

"Appreciate it, Sparky."

"My name is Twilight Sparkle, not Twinkie or Sparky. Why do you insist on giving me a nickname?"

"It's what friends do, right?"

Everypony in the room gasped at what Jeff had just said.

"What?" He asked.

"I-I would have thought that you wouldn't want to make friends." Fluttershy squeaked.

"You know just because I'm a monster doesn't mean I can't be civil. Yes I'm leaning a hell of a lot on the term of homicidal maniac, but everyone has or at least had a soul." Jeff said. "Now can we please get out of here I'm starving and I didn't get to eat at the picnic."

On the Job, looking to hire

It was now nighttime in equestria, everypony was asleep well almost. Jeff wasn't during a nap today he received a message from Luna, he was standing on Twilight's balcony.

"Jeff, what are you doing up?" It was Twilight.

"I got orders to stay up during my nap, what are you doing up?"

"I needed to get a midnight snack, and tinkle."

"Why do you call it tinkle?"

"It's an old nickname my parents had for me. Tinkly Twily, it made me angry when I was little now it's funny when I pee so I call it tinkling."

"Gross, but funny."

"Jeff could I talk to you about something."

"Talk away, but I don't have all night. I'm on the job."

"Have you ever given something like romance a try?"

"With what I've done in the past, not a lot of people want to hang around me. If I can translate what you're saying, you want to see if I could date a pony."

"Yes."

"That pony would be one certain purple posterior standing in front of me, right?" Twilight gulped and nodded. "Well, I don't know. If I'm stuck here with no way of returning to my home, then maybe. We all have needs after all, it also explains last night."

"You noticed that? I was trying to be subtle."

"I've seen subtle, I'll give you credit you did try. It did stick out like a yellow pony in a crowd of red ponies. I'll think on it okay, I won't string you along like I did with Jane. God knows I don't need an insane unicorn on my hands."

"O....kay."

Jeff's eyes shifted to the skies to find a dark blue figure moving through the air. "Go back to bed Twilight, my shift is starting."

"You sure, you'll be alright Jeff?"

"I'll be fine, it's nothing I haven't done before. You don't need to lose sleep over it."

"Okay I trust you Jeff, goodnight."

"G'night, Twilight." Jeff said as Princess Luna landed on the balcony.

"Good evening Jeff, are you ready to go?"

"Yes, but as much as I hate to admit it. I can't fight Zalgo on my own, I need help."

"You have the entire night guard behind you."

"No offense princess, but your night guard is a group of inexperienced children. I need friends, my friends."

"How would you do that? You came here by accident, how do you expect to get them over here?"

"That's where I come in." Discord popped in with an explosion of popcorn.

"Discord?" Luna asked. "Why would you help? What do you gain from helping us?"

"The fact that Zalgo never returns to equestria, and I remain the albeit reformed god of chaos."

"What do you mean?" Luna asked again.

"Zalgo is very powerful, more powerful than I. He is powered by the fear of every being that knows he exists. Zalgo wouldn't stop until all the things he feels underneath him is either dead or enslaved. I may be a god of chaos, but I never kill it's my code."

"Now you accounted for the transportation, what about housing?"

"I'll take the old abandoned castle in the forest. No one goes into the forest without a good reason, plus the only person that lives there is a zebra and I already told her that the forest will be getting a few more guests, let's go Discord."

"Oh goody, who are we picking up first?"

"He always watches, has no eyes." Jeff smirked as they disappeared.

***

Jeff appeared in a forest of tall dark trees and it was midnight. He looked around then saw he had a new accessory on his wrist, and felt a note in his pocket.

The bracelet will summon you and your friends to a negative zone in which I will be residing in just tap it twice to activate it, it makes it less taxing on the chaos magic get your friends Jeff. Ta-Ta for now.

"Typical Discord, always playing from the sidelines." Jeff said while starting to walk around the forest until he came upon a symbol carved in a tree. It was a circle with an x through it. He smirked, "I know I'm in the right place." He walked until he came across an old abandoned house that he knew very well. It was Slender's house he walked to the door and opened it. Looking around he found his old room he opened up the dressers he found his other clothing and more of his undergarments. Jeff found Jack's old duffel bag with a few bloodstains on it, and put his clothes in it. He was distracted while putting his clothes in his newish duffel bag.

Walking into the kitchen he found Slender's proxies. Ticci Toby, Hoody, and Masky all playing poker. "Well guys I would have thought that you would've been out with Slendy." Their heads snapped to look at Jeff, then the most unexpected thing happened to the pale psycho, he was hugged by Toby.

"Where have you been Jeff? I thought you left me." Toby started to cry.

"Wow Toby, you might be even worse than Fluttershy." Jeff said as he looked to the other proxies, Masky just shrugged and Hoody said.

"Toby you idiot, get off Jeff before you get stabbed."

Toby pushed off Jeff, "Sorry Jeff."

"It's fine. Listen I need to talk to Slender, you guys have any idea where to find him?"

"That should be easy he's right behind you."

"Of course he is." Jeff the turned to find the blank-faced man in a suit.

"Jeffery, do you have any idea how long we've been looking for you?!" He said angrily.

"That's not important right now."

"NOT IMPORTANT!!! WHAT COULD BE MORE IMPORTANT THAN YOU DISAPPEARING!!" He screamed.

"Zalgo." That one word changed Slenderman's mood from angry to cold and calculating.

"I thought we killed him."

"You know as well as I do it's hard to kill an idea."

"What does this have to do with you disappearing?"

"Where I ended up, is a world full peace and harmony it's where Zalgo ended up as well. I need your help, everyone's help."

"It must scare you to willingly seek us out to help you."

"You have no idea."

"Why are you playing the hero this time? What's in it for you?"

"Their world is too innocent to have our kind fucking it up."

Slenderman saw the resolve in Jeff's eyes. "We spread out when you disappeared to try to find you, Ben has been scouring the net, while the others have been tracking you on foot. I talked to Smiley and he tried to sniff you out. He brought me to a reality tear. They are rare and are usually sorted out before anything bad happens, it was closed but I could detect faint traces."

"I walked through it, I ended up in another world." Jeff said. "Can you get the group back together, it needs to be fast."

"I'll try my best, get to the computer, type in 'Drowned' as the password. Tell Ben what you told me."

"We keep Lazuli out of this?"

"She's with Evil, and trust me NO ONE crosses Evil and gets away with it."

"I hate to involve her anyways, She's been through too much already as a kid."

"I'm following your lead this time Jeff, I hope you know what you're doing."

"So do I." Jeff said grimly as he sat at the computer typed in the password and told Ben his story. "Masky could you watch my stuff please?"

"Yeah, where you going?" Masky asked.

"To the hospital. I have family to pick up." Jeff said as he walked out towards the hospital where his brother reside. He stepped through the broken door frame with glass crunching underneath his shoes. Walking up the stairs he bumped into the nurse Sarah, his girlfriend.

"Jeff! What are you doing here?"

"I need help with something, I need his help."

"He's probably not going to like you being here."

"I know, but I'm desperate I need his help or we all are going to die. Tell me where he is."

"In the chapel."

"Thank you."

Jeff walked into the chapel and ahead of him stood his brother Homicidal Liu, he spoke. "What are you doing here Jeff?"

"I need your help."

"You must be extremely desperate if your asking for my help."

"Yes I am, what do you want me to do get on my knees and beg you?"

"No, I'm willing to help but I need to know who we're going to fight."

"Zalgo, and his minions."

"The undead king, versus a ragtag group of ideas. Who do you have?"

"Slender, the proxies, Ben, Jack, Smiley, and Lucy."

"That's barely a team, I have a few friends I could call up."

"Like?"

"Eve, Hypno, The operator, and The Skin Taker."

"Fine they can come, and take Sarah if you want meet us in front of Slender's house then we'll leave."

"I'll see you there brother."

"Don't forget to pack your things, we're not going to come back for a while."

Jeff left walking back to Slender's house to see all his allies in front of the house. Masky tossed his duffel bag full of clothes. The others arrived with Liu. "Ready?" They all nodded and Jeff tapped his bracelet twice.

***

They appeared outside of the everfree castle. Discord was next to Jeff. "Welcome, to Equestria. I am Discord, the god of chaos."

They all met and greeted each other. Jeff was walking back into town. Toby walked behind him, "Can I join you Jeff? I wanted to get a few tics out of my system."

"No, go back tomorrow morning I'll bring the rulers and the girls to you. I'm not going to repeat myself." Jeff said. "Go bug Jack or something." Toby took off back to the castle and Jeff walked back into town, he opened up the door to the library walked upstairs dropped his duffel bag next to the bed took off his shoes and lay down next to Twilight.

(clop start)

"Jeff?"

"Hey Twi."

"You alright?"

Jeff's hand started to rub her barrel. "I'm fine Sparkle-butt."

"You don't sound fine."

"I know."

"What is it?"

"I'm scared."

"I know something that will relieve that."

"What's that?"

Her answer wasn't something you could say, it was a kiss. Jeff wasn't as shocked as he thought he was she did tell him that she had feelings for him. It's....nice and soft, warm too. Somehow during the kiss Jeff's hand moved down to her flank and his fingers were kneading her cutie mark. Their lips parted to allow their tongues to wrestle for dominance. Jeff started to pull off his hoodie and shirt while Twilight's magic undid his pants. Jeff started to kiss her neck and move his hands to her pussy and started rubbing the sensitive area. Twilight was now moving with his fingers, Jeff inserted his index and middle finger into her wet folds.

"Oh.....damn. That feels so good, better than clopping. I can see why Lyra's so obsessed with hands." Twilight breathed.

"You haven't seen anything yet." Jeff said as he started to move his fingers faster and faster.

"I'm cumming!" Twilight screamed as she came on Jeff's hand. Jeff brought his hand up and licked her fluids.

"It's sweet." He said and Twilight brought him into another kiss.

"That was so hot." Twilight said. "Now it's your turn." Twilight's magic aura pulled his down his boxers revealing his 9 inch dick. Twilight paused for a moment to take in the sight of a human penis. It wasn't a blunt rod like in the anatomy books she had read, it had an angular head, Probably for easier access and for a smoother ride, so to speak. She loved it just like she loved Jeff, she approached him and gave it a tentative lick that had caused Jeff to shudder. It has a very musky odor probably the human pheromones he's emitting from the sexual encounter. Twilight started to lick all along the shaft making Jeff groan in pleasure.

She then put the head in her mouth and started to suck on it, slowly bobbing her head down she continued until she met the base of his cock. She had all of his penis in her throat, she started to bob her head even faster.

"Twi, I'm.....gonna.......cum......" Jeff said in ragged breaths. She went faster and then Jeff came in her throat and she drank up all the cum that his cock gave out. She pull his cock out of her mouth with an audible pop.

"That was delicious." Twilight said as she licked her lips. Jeff brought Twilight face to face and positioned her wet pussy above his cock standing ready at attention. "You're ready again?" She asked. "Most stallions can't do it twice in a row."

"I'm glad I'm not a stallion then." Jeff said as he lowered Twilight onto his awaiting penis, his cock prodded her wet entrance. "You ready?" She didn't say anything she just nodded. Twilight lowered herself even more letting Jeff fill up her pussy, until he reached her hymen. "You want me to pop you fast or slow?"

"Fast, please I want to enjoy this."

"There's going to be a little blood."

"I know, please hurry." Jeff speared through her hymen and Twilight gasped, she wrapped her hooves around his neck. "Gimme a second for the pain to fade." Twilight adjusted to Jeff's size. They had started to move together both reaching their the edge of their climaxes. "Jeff I'm gonna-."

"Me too, together?"

"Yessss." They finished together and stared into each others eyes, their fluids piling underneath them. Twilight got off Jeff out of breath said. "I guess this means....you don't mind dating me."

(clop end)

Jeff kissed Twilight on her head right below the horn "Let's get some sleep Twilight. There's a busy day tomorrow."

"Ok Jeff, thanks for relieving some of my stress tonight."

"Whatever." Jeff said before he fell asleep. Twilight cuddled underneath his arm and pulled the covers over them, then fell asleep herself.

Time to meet the Team

Jeff woke up before Twilight the sun was already up and Jeff took a bath, changed into new clothes. The time he came out Twilight was enjoying a cup of coffee. Jeff was a bit confused at the moment, last night he had sex with a pony. Not the strangest thing to occur in the world, still strange to him.

"Hey Twi."

"Good morning sexy."

"Yeah about last night."

"Yes?"

"It's nothing against you, but I'm still confused and plus I've only been here like what, a week?"

"Yeah. Jeff I know you were confused and as your friend I shouldn't have taken advantage of that, so I'm sorry."

"Thanks Twilight, also don't you think that it's a little fast to get into a relationship with someone you just met?"

"I know, I told the girls how I liked you and they said the same thing, it's too fast to get attached to somepony you barely know."

"I appreciate you understanding."

"If there's something I'm known for is understanding."

"So.....friends, for now?" Jeff held out his hand.

Twilight put her hoof in his hand. "Friends."

"Speaking of friends go get yours and meet me near Fluttershy's house."

"Why?"

"It has something to do with what I did last night."

"Which was?"

"Let's just say that you have your friends and I have mine." Jeff smirked and Twilight's eyes widened as she slammed the rest of her coffee and teleported out the library before you could say the pony's first name.

**********

"Oh I hope his friends are nice, will they like me?" Twilight was mumbling with her friends all tired around her.

"Twi why'd ya' have ta wake us up so early, it's supposed to be my day off at the farm." AJ said.

"Yes, ahhhhh. What is so important that you had to wake at this time of the day? The sun has just risen." Rarity yawned.

"I know girls just bear with me, Jeff went out with Luna and Discord last night."

"What does that mean?" Pinkie asked sleepily, and if Pinkie was sleepy that was saying something.

"It means that Jeff went and got his friends from his world and brought them here. He wants us to meet them!"

Fluttershy came out of her house with mugs on a tray, "Here you go girls coffee and tea for Rarity."

Rainbow grabbed a mug and drank up the dark liquid. "This is why you're the element of kindness, Shy." Fluttershy blushed at the comment and hugged her oldest friend with her wing.

"Thanks Rainbow, I couldn't just let my friends stand out here without something to wake them up."

Pinkie was drinking her black coffee, and suddenly her bed mane poofed into regular one. "That's the stuff."

"So that's how that happens." Jeff said. Pinkie turned to Jeff and smiled.

"Sorry Jeff we're all a bit sleepy, I like your smile though."

"Keeps me beautiful." He smiled. "I'm ready to leave whenever you are."

"Give us a few moments to get woken up, and we'll be ready Jeff." Rarity requested while sipping her tea.

"Would you like something to drink Jeff?" Fluttershy asked.

"I appreciate it, but no thank you." He said while waiting for the others to finish. He sat while a black puppy came up and nuzzled his knee.

"Wow, Jeff I had no idea you were so good with animals." Fluttershy said.

"Neither did I. What is it?" Jeff asked as he looked at the puppy.

"It's a shadow stalker pup, they are very rare. She arrived on my door step a few weeks before you did actually."

"She's a cute little one." Jeff started to scratch the pup.

"She really likes you. I think you should adopt her."

"I would, trust me but with everything that's going to happen. I'd rather not, can you keep her reserved for me?"

"You're the only one she's shown interest in, so that won't be hard." Fluttershy looked to her friends. "It looks like we're ready to go." Fluttershy joined the rest of her now-awakened friends. They were coiled and ready to strike, Jeff stepped in front of the group.

"Now I know Twilight informed you that you will be meeting my friends and acquaintances, I called you here because this is the closest place to where my friends are at."

"Where are they staying at?" Rainbow asked.

"The Everfree Forest." Jeff answered quickly.

"It's so scary in there." Pinkie said.

"The clouds and weather moves on it's own." Dash continued.

"The plants grow by themselves." AJ said.

"The animals also take care of themselves." Fluttershy finished.

"Which is why it's the best place for my friends, where we come from all those things are natural."

"But it ain't natural that's ta' thang jeff." AJ said.

"What do you think would happen if ponies didn't have any magic, or the ability to handle the weather?" Jeff asked.

"Then the all the thing that we listed as unnatural would be natural." Twilight concluded. "Wait, why didn't you mention about earth ponies ability to grow things?"

"Because plants grow on their own, humans have been doing it for centuries and we have no magic."

"If humans don't have magic then what do they use?" Rainbow Dash asked.

"They are the top of food chain for a reason, our intelligence."

"So because the human race is so smart, you have survived without the use of magic."

"Yes, we even used our intelligence to make flying machines and eventually to space."

"WOW, your species have reached the moon?" Twilight exclaimed.

"Yes, but we're getting off topic. We need to get to the everfree castle."

"Alright." The girls said all at once. Jeff walked straight into the woods with the girls behind him.

"Jeff I've been meaning to ask, where did you get your clothing?"

"Since I went back to my world I grabbed my clothing I have a feeling that I'm going to be here a while." Jeff said while they reached the rope bridge, the bridge was completely gone. "Goddamn it Toby."

"I think I can make a new bridge with my magic." Twilight said.

"There's no need. HEY BEN NEED A NEW BRIDGE!!!" Jeff shouted, then a few notes played through the air and a new bridge built itself out of rocks and trees. "After you." The girls walked over the new bridge and reached the castle. It was noticeably different it was rebuilt and reenforced with steel girders. Jeff opened the door, "Girls these are my friends." The girls finally met the rumored friends of Jeff.

"What are you talking about Jeff? If anything we just have mutual enemies." Jack said underneath his mask.

"Girls meet Eyeless Jack. Jack don't eat their kidneys." The girls took a step back.

"Fine, I won't but you still owe me for the duffel bag."

"Okay, Jack this is Twilight, Rainbow Dash, AppleJack, Rarity, Pinkie Pie, and Fluttershy."

"Those names sound gay, especially yours." Jack pointed a Rainbow.

Dash flew up to Jack's face and said. "Look me in the eye and say that." Jeff chuckled and Jack removed his mask.

"There's a reason they call me 'Eyeless' Jack. I have no eyes." He just looked at Rainbow with his sockets.

"Hnnnggg, sorry I asked." Rainbow gagged. "How do you see?"

"Never said I was blind just eyeless." Jack quipped. "You guys should meet Ben he and Smiley are taking care of surveillance, I'm going to get something to eat."

"There's a hydra in the bog that should keep you full for a few weeks." Jeff said as Jack walked off, "C'mon girls."

"Well he was a interesting character to say the least." Rarity said. "Why did you tell him about the hydra in froggy bottom bog?"

"So he can kill it and eat it." Jeff said.

"That's horrible, the hydra never did anything to deserve that!" Fluttershy said.

"I know, but it's better that he eat the hydra instead of eating ponies. Jack can't help himself, he's possessed by a demon it causes constant hunger and he sedates it by eating organs, raw."

"Oh, wow. I wouldn't know what I'd do if I had to resort to that." Pinkie said. "I like eating, but eating organs. I don't think I could handle it."

"I'm glad you don't have to I can't imagine Eyeless Pinkie. It just doesn't feel like you."

"I can imagine it though, not the whole eating organs thing but something else." Dash said.

"I still can't imagine you would think so low of me Dashie, I would never bake you into a cupcake."

"I'm sorry but after seeing your whole Pinkamena fit on your birthday I had nightmares for weeks."

"I don't get it." Jeff said.

"Basically Dashie had nightmares for weeks after Pinkie's birthday because Pinkie thought we weren't her friends anymore and became Pinkamena." Fluttershy explained, "Dashie eventually told Pinkie and they forgave each other and Pinkie has been going to therapy for her multiple personality disorder."

"My therapist said that it stems from a sudden change when I was a filly, I felt something other than depression and became the Pinkie we all know and love. The other side of me couldn't just up and leave though, so it became another personality and when I get really sad, mad, or depressed Pinkamena comes out." Pinkie said as she hopped along with the other girls and Jeff. The group came to the tallest tower and opened the door to meet the digital ghost in the green tunic.

"Looks like you already set up your command station Ben." Jeff smiled.

"It didn't help that you didn't tell me that this planet is back ass-wards in terms of technology, I barely have anything to work with here." Ben growled.

"I didn't ask you to come here to improve the tech, I asked you to come here because you're one of the smartest here. I needed your head for strategies not satellites."

"Thanks that makes me feel a lot better." Ben said with his voice dripped with sarcasm. "Smiley's out becoming the Alpha for the local packs of dogs, which are made of wood by the way."

"Yeah Timberwolves they're called. I slaughtered plenty of them when I arrived."

"Liu and his group have been setting up the courtyard for training, Slender is reading and studying up on the pony species. You might want to meet up with Slender."

"Can do, Ben don't burn any of the ponies."

"They shouldn't have done that then."

Jeff chuckled and herded the ponies out of the room. Rarity already grumbling, "What has your tail in more knots purple squiggle?" Jeff asked.

"I couldn't get a word in fashion wise. Did you see what he was wearing it was green that is the absolutely worst color to be fashionable with."

"For Ben it's more function over fashion, he's smart but he's not a fighter that green tunic protects him."

"Well he could at least change the color to something more appealing."

"Then you'll love Slender."

"You know what they say Jeffery, speak of the devil and he shall appear." Slender said while walking out from behind a corridor of bookshelves. He was very tall as the name suggests. "It's a pleasure to finally meet you girls Jeffery hasn't told me much about you."

"NOW! THAT! IS! FASHION!" Rarity yell. "The crimson tie does stand out with the black suit, especially with the white shirt behind the crimson."

"Why thank you I do try my best to keep myself neat and tidy. Miss....?"

"Where are my manners, I am Rarity Belle, connoisseur of carousel boutique."

"I appreciate the compliment, it was very generous."

"She represents the Element of Generosity, part of the elements of harmony. There are Laughter, Honesty, Loyalty, Generosity, Kindness, and Magic. Basically the instant 'I win' button for equestria." Jeff said with a monotone voice, he then shook his head and looked around. "What the fuck just happened?"

"It seems that you just had a bleeding effect happen to you." Slender said.

Jeff sat down and started to tap the top of his head to help his recently developed headache. Twilight rushed to his side and looked at Slender. "What do you mean?" she asked.

"Jeff isn't like others, he was a split personality from a regular human, knowledge from his regular life 'bleeds' into his current life. It can cause mild to extreme headaches depending on the information." Slender finished.

"But how does he know about us, he has more information then he lets on." Dash said.

"Yes he does, and wow Dash good job on the use of context clues."

"I read detective novels between every daring do book and movie release."

"Good for you Dash, but that doesn't answer the question of Jeff's bleeding effect." Twilight turned to Slender.

"It's because of the Television." a voice said over the the arguing group, it was revealed to be Jeff's brother Homicidal Liu. "Jeff did explain the television to you, yes?"

"Like a movie except in ya own home." AJ said.

"Imagine that TV had a show called My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, and it was about all six of you girls and your exploits of friendship."

"So you mean our lives are just for entertainment?" Fluttershy asked.

"I don't think that's entirely it but you're close."

"So we have our own lives?" Rarity asked.

"More like they base the episodes off major events of your lives, like the young fliers competition, or defeating discord." Jeff said as he grabbed his head.

"So some of our greatest moments is for entertainment."

"No just when you have a breakthrough in friendship." Jeff strained.

"That's why he knows more, he was a fan of the show." Concluded Twilight. Jeff's headache eventually subsided.

"Why didn't you just tell us, we would have understood." Pinkie said.

"To be fair, I don't think even Jeff knew these things." Liu said. "He was just in the dark as you are."

"What about you......" Dash argued

"Liu."

"Yeah, Liu how come this bleeding thing doesn't happen to you?"

"Because I have MPD, Jeff on the other hand is a complete psychopath that ignores his other side. Thus causes the bleeding effect."

Slender walked up and used one of his tentacles to give Twilight a bottle of medicine. "This should help with the headaches."

"What is it?"

"It's a medicine one of our friends developed in case this would happen. Jeff should take it once every morning."

"Thanks Slender." Jeff mumbled as he swallowed one down, and gave the medicine to Twilight. "I don't trust myself with medicine, too much of a chance to OD on it."

"The medicines Evil makes have a very addictive quality to them." Liu said.

"Shut up Liu." Jeff said while Twilight helped him back to his feet.

"So I assume that Jeff has informed you of his plan?" Slender asked.

"More or less." Rainbow Dash said.

Jeff fully got up and cracked his neck. "I've got a plan, but first we got to find the traces of SCP and Zalgo."

"What is SCP?"

"Secure, Contain, and Protect. They are a military organization that deals with beings like us. They work behind the scenes and manipulate others, but most importantly, they work for Zalgo." Ben explained while coming down from his tower. "Slender, I need my other stuff from Earth. I can't work well with the things I have."

"Well good thing Discord gave me the means to move back and forth between Earth and Equestria, take Masky with you so I can get you both back."

"Sure thing." Ben spoke while walking to get Masky.

"Why does he need Masky?" Fluttershy asked.

"Masky has a telepathic link with me so he can communicate with me beyond the veil." Slender explained.

"What is the veil?" Twilight asked.

"The veil is what separates our world from yours. They occasionally have holes or lapses which Jeff must have walked through. Beings like myself or Discord can access the veil by will." Slender said.

Ben came back with Masky, "Ready to go."

Slender snapped his fingers and conjured a black portal. Masky and Ben stepped through it; which closed behind them. "While Ben and Masky are on Earth, we need to plan." Slender walked ahead of Jeff and the mane six.

"What was Ben talking about?" Twilight asked Jeff.

"Ben is more into technology. It helps him with what he does, technically he is the smartest out of all of us." Jeff said. "What you guys have in terms of technology is very, dark ages for what he's comfortable with."

"You mean you're more technologically advanced than us?" Twilight asked.

"Yeah. I was kinda weirded out when I got here, I never said anything about though. Mostly because I'm used to living in the woods, the only things I need are my hoodie my knives and myself anything else is a luxury." Jeff said.

"Why would you degrade yourself to such things?" Rarity asked. "What about your parents?"

Jeff paused. "I don't want to talk about it."

Liu chuckled as he noticed what happened. Pinkie looked at at Liu, "What's so funny?"

"Nothing." Liu said. "Nothing at all." The girls followed Slenderman while Jeff stayed behind to talk to his brother. "So you're not going to tell them?" Liu asked.

"I don't want them to find out that we're just a group of serial killers." Jeff said. "They're too innocent."

"Do you think innocence matters to Zalgo?" Liu nearly shouted. "No it doesn't, Jeff we're the bad guys and we're just fighting badder guys to survive. You better get that through your head, or else you're going to lose it." Liu walked ahead of his brother.

Royal Intervention and a Split Mind

Needless to say, Princess Celestia was not amused. She was currently looking at her younger sister. "Luna would you mind telling me exactly what happened again?"

"It's quite simple. I visited Jeff while he was unconscious and recruited him to help us with our problem." Luna sipped her tea.

"THAT'S THE PROBLEM!" Celestia yelled. "Jeff is a homicidal manic, how can we be so sure to trust him?!"

"Because we have the same goal in mind." Luna said. "Even monsters have enemies, and right now we have the same enemies."

"I'm not completely sure I trust your judgement on this Luna, I don't want to lose you again." Celestia said.

"I understand, but this time I will bring any concerns to you. You handle the politics and I'll work from the shadows." Luna said. "It will be just like olden times sister."

"Alright Luna, but still that doesn't explain the new disease that has been infecting the ponies."

"From what I gathered from Discord, he said that it's Zalgo trying to build his army." Luna said. "The source hasn't been discovered yet, but we need to check all bases."

"That should be of no surprise." Celestia sighed. "We need to meet up with Jeff and his friends."

"I couldn't agree more." Luna nodded and the two took off to their old home.

**********

Jeff and Slender were busy planning their next move. Ben had grabbed the supplies he needed to set up a functioning command center and Masky had helped him. But Eyeless Jack was peeved. "Am I the one that's going to address the elephant in the room?"

"What are you talking about Jack?" Smile Dog asked.

"It's about Jeff." Jack said. "Ever since he brought us to this rainbow shit factory he's been acting unlike himself."

"You really want me to show you that I'm still the same olD kiLlEr I aM nOW?" Jeff's pupils began to shrink. "I mAy bE diFfeRenT BuT I'M stILL mE!"

"Jeff, calm down. Now is not the time or place, we have company." Slender stated while he pointed to the two alicorns in the room.

Jeff looked around, "Hello again Luna. You must be her sister, Celestia."

"That's Princess Celestia to you. I would rather not be on a first name basis with a monster like you." The princess of the sun stated sternly.

"What crawled up your ass and died?" Jack asked and Princess Celestia stared at him as if she were trying to burn two more holes into his skull and Jack just laughed.

"I'd just prefer if I wasn't in the presence of such demons and monsters." Princess Celestia said.

"Well we're the only hope you've got." Jeff said. "You think that Zalgo is going to hold anything back? No. He's not going to stop until either every sapient species on this planet is dead or enslaved." Jeff walked straight up to the Solar Diarch's face and stuck his finger in right in front of her muzzle. "So you are going to do one of two things. You can quit bitching about how we're demons and monsters and all that other shit. Or you can leave, it's as simple as that."

The solar princess squinted at Jeff. "You have some nerve talking down to me like that. I am the ruler of this land."

"Last I checked I didn't have hooves, so you can take that fact and shove right next to the thing that died in your asshole." Jeff said. "We're the bad guys, yeah. But Zalgo is a different level of bad. The only thing that Zalgo cares about is death and destruction, it doesn't matter who will stand in his way to get it. Right now we are the only hope you got. Like it or not."

Princess Celestia breathed deeply and then let it out. "Alright Jeff, what's the plan?" Celestia regretted asking this but Jeff's logic was foolproof, and these beings knew Zalgo better than anyone. If anyone could find Zalgo and beat him, it would be them.

"Here's the thing, Zalgo loves to play from the shadows. He manipulates and strikes bargains." Jeff said. "Which means he'll go after the weak and desperate, he'll go after your enemies, your rivals, anyone or anything that has been wronged or wants power."

"He may have been here long enough to start assembling his army." Slender said. "Which is why we can't allow anyone to be corrupted by Zalgo."

"So what do we do?" Luna asked.

"Let the public know about the symptoms and to be wary of ponies with the disease while we're working with Evil on the cure." Slender, "Though in order to help develop a cure faster we need the blood of a pony showing the symptoms."

"That may be difficult." Celestia said. "But if it could help us then I would accept it."

"That and it can help make an shots to strengthen everyone's immunity to Zalgo's corruption." Ben said as he appeared, behind both the princesses which he startled.

"And you are?" Celestia asked.

"I'm Ben." He said. "Right now I'm the smartest one in the room."

"Excuse me? I've been around thousands of years!" Celestia said offended.

"Do you have a network of all the information of everything ever recorded in your head?" Ben asked.

"Well... no." Celestia shied down.

"I have a literal universe in my head." Ben said as he started to lay out the plan.

Jeff quietly snuck away into the old castle's garden, or what was left of it. He was thinking about what Jack said. "I have changed, but why?"

"I think it's because of where you're at." Twilight's voice added and then the unicorn in question appeared.

Jeff looked at her, "How'd you find me?"

"I saw you when you left." Twilight said. "Why did you leave?"

"I'm thinking about what Eyeless Jack said." Jeff admitted.

"What's so bad about that?"

"Because he's right."

"What's so wrong about being different?"

"Because it's not who I truly am." Jeff said. "Before I came here, I would have jumped at the chance to slice Fluttershy to pieces. But something stopped me, I still can't place what."

"Your other side." Twilight said. "The innocent one."

"Jeffery?" Jeff said.

"Jeff, look. I know that you have some sense of judgement. Maybe that stems from the time before you became who you are now." Twilight suggested.

"It's just. Not me, not anymore."

"I don't know how to help you then." Twilight said.

"No you can't. But I know who can." Jeff smile widened.

Interview with a Serial Killer

Jeff followed Twilight to the library to retrieve his knives. The six were by his side and were receiving stares from the locals.

Fluttershy looked at him, "please don't mind the locals Jeff it's just that they haven't seen something like you before."

"Trust me the feeling is mutual. I've never seen a town this cheerful. It's almost a little creepy."

"Of all the things you are Jeff, a too nice town is what gets you?" Rarity asked.

"I watched a lot of television when I was growing up. Too nice means there is something wrong with a person, or in your case pony."

"What's a television?" Dash asked.

"Do you guys have movies?" Jeff asked.

"Yeah there was this one movie where I was like HAAAUGH. It means I gasped but it turned out to be very cool movie-" Pinkie was cut off by Applejack's hoof.

"Yes we do sometimes occupy our time by going to the film but what's that got to do with anything?"

Jeff stopped the group. "Okay, imagine a box. Got it?" They nodded all with their eyes closed. "Now, imagine that the box has a piece of glass in front that fits inside a hole in the front. Following me?" Another nod from the group. "Now imagine that the piece of glass can have images without a projector."

The group looked up. "Woowie, Zoowie that could be much cheeper than going to the movies." Pinkie said.

Jeff and the girls continued. "Well that depends on how much money and if the building has electricity." Jeff said.

"Why would the building need electricity?" Twilight pondered.

"The television I was talking about has a cord to plug it up so it can have power." Jeff explained.

"Oh ok now I get it, like some of my microscopes that need a lightbulb underneath them."

"Yeah, something like that. There's like a projector inside the box and it shows it on the screen. If I had a sketch pad I'd draw you a diagram."

"You like to draw things?" Rarity asked, as a fashionista she loved to sketch for dresses.

"There is a difference, in the way that you draw. You make it the way you need it to be. I just doodle, and I'm not really good at that either." Jeff said. The group continued to the library. Spike was playing with Jeff's knives.

"I'm Sir Spike the ruthless, hear me roar."

"SPIKE!!!" Twilight shouted which caused him to fall.

Jeff saw what happened. "TWILIGHT! Be careful my knives are very sharp, you could have made him hurt himself."

"Why are you scorning me?" Twilight asked. "He was messing with your knives."

"Yes, but from what I can tell by his technique he is very well skilled with cutlery. More so than you, you watch who you shout at especially at him. He did nothing wrong."

"Okay I'm confused am I in trouble or not?" Spike asked.

"Hi, you must be Spike." Jeff reached his hand out to Spike's claws, Spike shook it wearily. "I'm Jeff."

"You aren't scared that I'm a dragon?"

Jeff observed him. "From what I can tell you must be at least 17 or 18 in human years, but from your kind's age I'd put you at about a toddler."

Twilight's jaw was unhinged, blinking at what Jeff just said. "How could you possibly know that much by looking at him?"

Jeff straightened out his posture. "Believe it or not, I have great observational skills. Not only does it help with what I do, it also passes the time when you don't have eyelids."

"Wow that's incredible." Twilight commented. "Do you mind if I ask you some more questions?"

"But you just did." Jeff smirked.

Twilight rolled her eyes. "You know what I mean Jeff, don't be a smart ass."

Twilight covered her mouth at what she just said. She never swore in her entire life, why did she say that? Spike face had completely blanked out on what Twilight just said. Meanwhile, Jeff was laughing his ass off, tears were rolling down his cheeks.

"A-are you telling me that THE Twilight Aurora Sparkle, faithful student of THE Princess Celestia just said ass? This is comedy fucking GOLD."

Wait a minute. Where did that come from Twilight never told Jeff her middle name or the fact that she was the student of the Princess. Jeff and Twilight were on the same page for once, absolutely fucking confused.

"Where did that come from?" Twilight and Jeff said in unison.

"How do you know all that information about me?" Twilight questioned.

Jeff looked at her with the same look on her face. "I honestly haven't got a clue. Some information must have spilled over from my other half."

"Other half?" Twilight questioned.

"Can we continue the questions in the kitchen I haven't gotten anything to eat. No flowers either I can't eat flowers."

"Okay, is Peanut Butter and Jelly alright?"

"Just fine."

Spike had started on the sandwiches, while Twilight had gotten a notebook out. She looked at Jeff, "Do you mind if I write down your answers?"

Jeff thought about it for a second. "Okay you can on one condition." Her ears perked up and Jeff continued. "If I think the questions are too invasive then you can ask me them but not write them down. Deal?"

Jeff held out his hand and Twilight placed her hoof in his hand. Oh his hands are soft. "Okay Jeff I agree to your conditions." Twilight said.

"First question. Your real name?"

"Jeffery Woods. My alias is Jeff the Killer."

"Okay, height, weight, and age."

"I'm 6 foot 1 inch, I weigh around 200 pounds, I forgot my age after 14."

Twilight scribbled down then stopped. "What do you mean forgot your age?"

"What I was doing was really fun I got lost in the moment so much that I forgot to keep track of my age. If I had to guess I'd say I'm around 21 or so."

"I don't think I truly understand what you just said, but it is believable Celestia knows how much time I lose track of when I'm studying or reading so I can relate."

"Cool."

"Do you have any place of residence?"

"Does Fluttershy's food storage shed count?"

"No."

"Then I don't, and before you ask I don't have any assets to really help in the 'modern-day working force'. If that's what you wanted to hear."

"I wasn't going to ask but ok."

Spike served the sandwiches, took one for himself. "Sorry, I was so occupied with hearing you guys talk I almost forgot about the sandwiches."

"It's cool Spike as long as purple pants McGee here doesn't throw a fit I'm fine." Jeff smirked while he ate.

"Purple pants McGee...........Hey!" Twilight took notice of what Jeff said after she wrote it down. "I'm a nice decent shade of Lavender thank you." She smiled.

"You caught up on my sense of humor didn't you?"

"Sarcastic, witty, and as sharp as the knives you carry."

"Got it in one there Twi." Jeff winked. Gonna have to get used to having eyelids again.

Twilight smiled. I can't believe I was so quick to judge Jeff, he's smart, witty, maybe even funnier than Pinkie at some moments, he not that bad looking for another species either. Wait stop thinking that Twilight. I wouldn't even know where begin a relationship with Jeff. Besides where he comes from I'm probably just an animal to him.

"I have a few more questions." Twilight asked as she magically erased the purple pants McGee quote. Jeff took another sandwich and started to eat it. Spike had finished eating and left the room to take a nap.

"Okay."

"I think this is the most important one. What you did to those timberwolves, that psychopathic killing rage. Can you control it? I only ask this to not risk my fellow ponies lives."

"I get that you want to protect others, in my opinion that's very noble. I can control it 90% of the time."

"What about that other 10%?"

"Just let me go into the forest then."

"That's dangerous! There are monsters in there! They'll kill you!"

"No offense Twilight, but I'm one tough son of a bitch. The reason I'm still alive is contributed to that fact, I can go into that forest with my knives and come out bloody, bruised, and battered but still have my heart beating."

"Okay then, just let me or somepony else know when these, um......... urges of yours crop up."

"Okay, boss."

"A-are y-you in a current r-re-relationship?" Twilight squeaked out. Jeff took notice of her question.

"Why would you ask me that?"

"N-no, reason." Twilight squeed.

"No, I'm not in a relationship. The closest thing I had to a relationship was with Jane, as friends of course. That did not end well."

"How come?"

"She was absolutely obsessed with everything I was, right down to the last detail. It was creepy even for my standards. She was a lost soul so I took her under my wing, I showed her what I did in hopes that she would be repulsed enough to stop following me. It had the opposite effect though, I couldn't handle a follower that close so I told her to get lost. Last time we met we cut each other to ribbons. We couldn't kill the other so we separated and left the other to their own business."

"O....kay. I'm just going to put down no."

"Why did you want to know?"

"I just wanted to know, even though it's not apart of what I'm writing down I still wanted to know."

"Whatever, do you know anyone that could make me some clothes?"

"Rarity does, even though she might not like your clothing choices right now."

Jeff grabbed another sandwich. "Like I care what Ms.oh so prissy says."

Spike jumped up. "Don't talk about Rarity like that!"

Jeff looked at the midget dragon. "You really want to get into a fight, WiTh mE?" Spike shrunk back and went upstairs.

"That's what I thought." Jeff continued. "If I'm staying for as long as I think I am, then I need clothes. I don't have fur like ponies so I need thicker and warmer clothes."

"We can visit her tomorrow if you like. It's getting pretty late and I'm tired, do you want to get some sleep?"

I guess it was inevitable I have to get some rest. I could die if I don't, I just hope I don't fade and Jeffrey pops up.

"Fine. I'll get some sleep, besides I don't think anyone is going to come after me when I'm asleep."

Jeff followed Twilight up to her bedroom. "Oh Jeff by the way I have only one bed. Do you mind sharing?"

"Okay I'll sleep in the same bed as you but it is not sleeping together, or slept together got it?"

"Okay, just let me change." Twilight said. They had arrived at the bedroom door and Spike was already asleep. Jeff was behind the door while it was closed. Why does she have to change? She's practically naked already. The door opened again, it was Twilight dressed in fuzzy socks and she was blushing. "You like what you see?" she asked.

"It's okay?" Jeff was confused, was she hitting on him?

She walked to the bed her tail was swishing back and forth. Jeff swore he saw a vagina when she was. She slipped underneath the sheets, and patted the spot next to her. Jeff stripped off his hoodie, shoes, and pants. He lay down in the bed and the sheets covered him up. She cuddled Jeff from behind, I'll just go with it, can't be that bad.

"Good night Twilight."

"Good night Jeff." She sighed.

Ponyville

Jeff woke to having purple hooves around his waist, he took the hooves off around his waist. He looked at Twilight and poked her to wake her up. I'm usually never the one to wake people, or in this case ponies up. Twilight looked at him.

"Do you mind showing me where the shower is? I also need your help around town later."

"The bathroom's down the hall second door on the right. I talk to you again after I have some coffee." Twilight yawned.

Jeff gathered his stuff from the floor and headed to the bathroom, He closed the door behind him and hopped in the bathtub. "This is better than nothing, and technically she didn't lie. Twilight said bathroom not shower." Jeff lathered himself up and his clothes. "You know what, Splish, Splash, I be taken a bath. Dun, dun, dun, dun." Jeff was enjoying himself for the first time, and it didn't involve killing someone. Jeff spotted a rubber ducky and grabbed it squeaking it as well. "Hahahahahahaha."

There was a knock on the door. "Jeff are you alright?" It was Twilight.

"I'm doing just fine Twily, I'm just a splishing and a' splashing."

"Do you mind if I use the bathroom?"

"Can it wait?"

"Not really, I'm doing the potty dance."

Jeff rolled his eyes, "Fine, but no peaking I mean it!"

"Okay I won't peak, I promise." Twilight opened the door and trotted over to the toilet. She then heard a squeak from Mr. Quackers and saw Jeff squeaking away like an instrument. She also noted the scars all along his body. She was almost done tinkling, note to self, no more liquids before bed.

Jeff was lathering his black hair with the lavender shampoo on hand. He saw Twilight looking at him. "Like what you see Twinkie?"

She blushed and turned away. "Sorry I didn't mean to peak. I-it's just that you were playing with Mr. Quackers, you were having fun."

"I was having fun. I'm a monster, who says monsters can't have fun?" Jeff dived under the water and came back up. He looked around and saw that there were no towels. "Could you hand me a towel?"

Twilight looked at Jeff who was hanging over the edge. "I beg your pardon?"

"Could you please give me a towel? I need to dry off." Twilight gulped and gave Jeff a towel. She had already stopped tinkling but was too enamored by Jeff in the tub, in fact it kind of turned her on. Jeff looked at her, "Thank you, if you're done I need some space to dry off."

"Oh sorry." She hopped off the toilet, flushed it, and left Jeff to dry himself off.

***********************************************************************

Jeff walked down to the smell of coffee. When was the last time that Jeff had a decent cup of coffee? He couldn't remember anyways, he avoided sleep so he really had no need for coffee. Now that he could sleep it would be best to at least try a cup of it. He walked down to see Spike cooking away and Twilight nursing her own cup of coffee.

"Morning Spike." Jeff noted to the dragon.

"Good morning Jeff, how'd you sleep?"

Jeff grabbed a mug and the pot of coffee. "Surprisingly well, I didn't have any nightmares if that's what you're asking." His sipped his coffee, and liked the taste of the liquid roasted beans sliding down his throat. "Hey, Twi?"

She looked up at Jeff. "Yes?"

"If you don't mind, could you show me around town? I need some clothes as well."

"Sure thing Jeff."

"Thanks."

The odd-ball group ate breakfast, after the most important meal of the day Jeff and Twilight headed into town.

"So, Jeff what do to get done first?" Twilight had asked.

"Clothing is a must, let's head there." He replied while walking along side the unicorn, he started to whistle. Then he stopped,isn't that what got me here in the first place? It's a tune I just can't think of, it's on the tip of my tongue. he just shrugged and continued until he saw Twilight stop in front of a building that looked like it was made out of a carousel. "What is this place?" Jeff asked.

"This is Carousel Boutique, Rarity owns it where she makes some of the best clothing available. Why do you ask?"

Jeff just burst out laughing. "Oh, I'm sorry Twi. It's just the name, ahahahahahahahahahaha."

"Why is that so funny?" Twilight stomped her hoof.

"It's just back on earth there was a ride that kids could go on and it was called a carousel it looked exactly like this building." Jeff stopped his laughing and looked at Twilight. "It's a human thing."

Twilight and Jeff went inside, Jeff whistled when they went in. He may be insane but he knows a good house when he sees one.

"Welcome to Carousel Boutique where everything is chic, unique, and magnifique." Rarity said before she noticed Jeff and Twilight. "Oh hello Twilight, and you." She said to Jeff with narrowed eyes.

"Yeah the same to you marshmallow." He said back to the fashionista.

Twilight coughed in her hoof and interrupted the stand-off. "What Jeff means to say is that he needs clothing. Rarity would you please take his measurements and make clothing for him."

"Why should I Rarity Belle have to make clothing for such an uncouth barbarian? He wouldn't even know chivalry if it bit him in the flanks." She flipped her mane and turned away.

Jeff was confused. "Okay, I just don't get you." he said to the white mare.

"Whatever could that mean?" She asked with her back still turned.

Jeff continued with his observation. "First when you met me, I saved your life and your friends lives from those wooden wolves."

"I am appreciative of the, yes. Then afterwords you chided my friends and I for calling you a hero which made me rethink my opinions of you Jeffery. I have a little sister and she gets into enough trouble as is, what would she think if you could slay timberwolves left and right without even a second though. I'll tell you she and her friends will probably kill themselves trying to defeat one of them, it will then be on my hooves. I don't like getting dirty much but you obviously enjoy it, and if I make you clothing it will cause bad publicity for me and my store." She finished.

Jeff pinched the bridge of his nose and closed his eyes. "First off please don't call me Jeffery. Second I can understand where you're coming from with the whole clothing and family thing. I get it, but what I also see is a pony that cares more about herself and her image that her family. If you ever sit down and talk to your family members, and I mean a meaningful conversation not only would that bring you closer to your sister but it will also show that you care about her wellbeing." Rarity was looking at Jeff while he continued. "The fact that you also rely on the word of your store being so famous is complete and total bullshit. If you really want to be the best clothing maker on the planet then you need to do this. Smile, nod, listen and do whatever you want anyways. Being famous for the sake of being famous is very despicable. Take criticism and apply it creatively not destructively. That is the ultimate downfall of most in the line of business that is art."

Rarity was shocked to say the least, she had not considered the points that Jeff had brought up. "I hadn't thought of that Jeffe- I'm sorry Jeff. You bring up interesting points and perhaps I do need to be more confident in not only myself but my shop as well."

"And?" Jeff asked.

"I do need to talk to my sister, sometimes she feels as if I don't support her. I need to show her that I do care for her and her well being. Thank you, now shall we get your measurements. Please get on the stand and remove your clothing."

"Do you mind if I keep my undergarments on, I can't really cover up those bits without 'em." He spoke as he took off his socks, shoes, hoodie, t-shirt, and pants.

"Whatever makes you feel at ease darling." Rarity commented as she measured his arms and legs, "Do you have any suggestions, like color or materials?"

"I like to keep things simple like cotton or wool, and dark colors if you can. I also like white it matches my complexion." He smirked. "I'll also need heavier and warmer clothes in the colder seasons, due to me not having any fur."

"Spread your legs dear." Rarity said. Jeff did as she said, as long as she didn't get too close for comfort. She finished and wrote things down on a sketch pad."Thank you Jeff, I'll have them ready as soon as I can."

"Take your time, I don't want you to kill yourself over my sake." Jeff said as he put his clothes back on. "Could you also make me some wool socks please?"

"Do you think I'm some kind of hussy?" Rarity asked.

"Wut?" Jeff said. "I just want some socks that are clean, don't have any holes in them, and to keep my feet warm. In case you noticed I don't wear things as you would think of conventionally, human feet are very delicate and need protection, hence why I asked."

Rarity was almost completely red with the blush on her face. "I'm so sorry I-"

Jeff had his hand held up. "It's fine you didn't know." Jeff looked at Twi and asked. "Shall we continue this tour of Ponyville madame?"

"I believe we shall kind sir."

The duo left while Rarity got to work. Jeff following Twilight he had asked. "Hey Twi why don't ponies wear clothes?"

"They usually do in higher class areas like Canterlot or high life Manehatten."

"Oh okay, I just wanted you to know I already have a job. I kind of got it when I was knocked out in the hospital." Jeff scratched the back of his head.

"What do you mean?"

"This Princess, something or another hired me for my particular 'talents'. Her name started with an L."

"PRINCESS LUNA?"

"YES I LIKE YELLING TOO!" Twilight winced. "Not nice is it?" Jeff asked. She just nodded, "So let's keep the yelling to a minimum and say things not YELL THEM. It makes a scene, and I'm already getting enough stares as is. I don't need anyone screaming bloody murder at me."

"Why would she need to hire you though?"

"You know I arrived here by accident?"

"Yes."

"Well I'm not the only one that came over here."

"Okay now I'm confused." The duo stopped around town square. Jeff sat on the edge of the fountain.

"Have you ever faced insurmountable odds, where you thought you could never beat them?"

Twilight remembered Discord, "Yeah I do."

"Believe it or not, there are worse things out there. It's name is Zalgo."

"How bad is he?"

"Very bad, he cuts deals with anything and everything. Building armies to conquer the world, he once tried to recruit me."

"What happened?"

"We had our differences, it wasn't ideal for me. He tried to get me to kill one of his greatest defectors, Slenderman."

"After that?"

"We did fight, but Slendy showed me that I didn't have to serve Zalgo, showed me free will. I cut my ties to Zalgo and joined Slenderman's rebellion, eventually we killed Zalgo he didn't stay dead though."

"Why didn't he?"

"What we are is an idea you can't kill an idea, conventionally it can be done but it takes decades."

"How do you just kill an idea?"

"The same way you lose things, you forget about it."

"Then, how does he keep coming back?"

"Not all of the victims he leaves behind are dead. Then there are the proxies."

"Proxies?"

"Normal humans willing to do anything to gain powers or recognition for our kind."

"You're not exactly human are you Jeff?"

"At one point I was a human, but something happened and I turned out like this. Humans regularly have more pinkish tan skin, not pale white. I got revenge on the people who did it, then I carved a smile in my face so I would never be sad, and burned out my eyelids to avoid sleep."

"What happened after that?"

"I don't like to talk about it."

"Sorry, I'm not going to press you on it. I'll ask my friends not to either."

"Thanks Twilight."

"You're welcome Jeff. Hey look there's Applejack, are you hungry?"

Jeff's stomach answered the question for him, "I could go for a bite."

The pair walked to the farmer's apple stand. Twilight trotted up. "Hey AJ."

"Howdy Twi', Jeff. How's it goin'?"

"Not bad, how's the sales?"

"Ah can't complain about it. What about you Jeff, how ya' doin'?"

"I'm stuck in a land where there is magic rainbows constantly shitting in my eyes. It could be worse though."

"Jeff not that ah mind but could ya' watch your language around th' stand ah have a little sister and-"

"Say no more, I'll watch the swearing around your company."

"Thank ya kindly, mind buying an apple for the road?"

"Why would I buy an apple just for the road? I thought you eat apples?" Jeff replied.

"Hahahaha, okay ya got meh there bud. Here's one on the house." AJ tossed him and apple.

"Thanks, but why?"

"You cheered me up durin' a pretty crabby day, besides it's something friends do."

"Here I was thinking that you didn't like me."

"Ah can't say ah approve of th' way ya' handle ya' business but it's ya' business and ah have no say in it."

Twilight paid for a bunch of apples and some apple fritters while Jeff took a bite of his apple. His eyes widened and he destroyed the apple in a few bites, "That was the freshest, most crunchy, juiciest apple I have ever graced my mouth with."

"Ah appreciate the compliment."

"Hey that was almost four syllables good for you AJ." She just blew raspberries at Jeff, then she smiled. "I'll see you around."

"Why did you insult Applejack like that?"

"She knew I was just joking."

The duo continued to explore the town filled with the craziest ponies ever to grace the planet's face. I think I'm going to like it here.