Filthy's Fantasies And Follies

by deadpansnarker

Rating: everyone
Tags: Other, Romance, Slice of Life, Sad, Original Character, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 1769

Filthy Rich confides to his soulmate about the problems with his daughter, his past relationships and just life in general. One problem: She doesn't exist. Take place during the events of 'Do Princesses Dream Of Magical Sheep'?

Reduced to a nervous wreck throughout the day due to his daughter Diamond Tiara's incessant demands and complaints about her bullying, as well as the pressures of running a successful business, Filthy Rich's only refuge is with the mare of his dreams.

Who doesn't actually exist.....

Takes place during the events of 'Do Princesses Dream Of Magical Sheep?'

Published 2015-07-12 20:20:02 UTC
Last updated 2015-07-12 20:20:02 UTC

The confidante

"She NEVER listens to me... She's NEVER happy no matter how much I spend on her... I'm at my wits end!!" An agitated brown stallion was pacing around a room, looking like he had the world on his shoulders. This had been a particularly tough day for Filthy Rich, and he really needed to let off steam. His cutie mark was symbolic of his status, and outlook in life: Three bags of money.

Listening to him, with a sympathetic ear, was a purple pegasus with a fizzy lavender mane. Filthy had met her a few months ago during one of his lowest periods, when his stocks were way down and Miss Cheerilee had informed the stallion in no uncertain terms, that if his offspring didn't stop teasing her classmates, it would inevitably lead to a suspension. A black mark on the Rich family name, indeed.

She simply lied there, silently, on a four-poster bed while he continued his tirade, nodding at various intervals just to let him know she was empathetic to his plight.

"... Don't know WHY she bullies Apple Bloom. She's always struck me as a nice filly, and yet Tiara seems to hate her for some reason. I don't know where Diamond gets that attitude from... her mother wasn't like that..."

At the mention of his now deceased wife, Filthy's ears visibly flopped, and a single tear rolled down his cheek. Realising this was her cue to step in, the female pegasus made her way over to the edge of the bed, and wrapped a comforting wing around his withers.

"There, there" she solemnly said "I'm sure things will get better. You've rode out worst storms than this before. Just talk to her... She's still your child... She'll grow out of it..."

Filthy looked into her beautiful eyes, and sighed. "Maybe you're right. It's just... one day my little jewel will inherit the entire estate... And how is she going to carry on running a successful business, if she goes around antagonising everypony... Especially the family of our main supplier. Did I ever tell you what she called Granny Sm...

The pegasus put her hoof on Filthy's lips, gently. "Yes, yes. On multiple occasions. Listen... I'm sure it's tough as a single father, especially if your child is a handful. I really think you just need to spend time with her... Show her how a proper pony behaves. She'll come good in the end, you'll see..."

The wealthy stallion looked down at the ground with sadness. "I only wish that were possible. I have Barnyard Bargains to run internationally, I have a meeting every few minutes... It seems I see a lot more of my phone than her." He sighed at the thought of his non-stop schedule" I leave her in the care of my staff, but I don't think that is conductive to her behaviour at all. Why, I even heard she took a butler to school with her, to perform a dance routine. Randolph is a good man, but I really think he should develop a backbone..."

His purple mare friend nodded sagely. This was yet another story she'd already been told, but the poor stallion needed to vent... And if she was the only outlet, then so be it. "Can't you get any time off at all? I understand you're working hard, and doing all this for your daughter when she's older... But she needs her father NOW. It's all very well planning for her future, but if her present is as volatile as you make it sound, then it maybe time to start allocating your day better".

For the first moment since he'd seen her that evening, Filthy looked at the pegasus with a feeling of hope. "How is it you always seem to know what to say? You remind me so much... Of her..." He suddenly turned away again, sniffling. That single tear that had emerged earlier on was threatening to turn into a waterfall.

"Hey, hey!! It's okay!! It's okay" The purple mare jumped off the mattress and enveloped the brown stallion in a tight hug, both forelegs firmly locked around his neck. Choking back his emotions, Filthy did the same... And for a while, the two of them just stood there, taking in each other's heat.

Eventually, they separated, and Filthy, holding her at hooves length, stared into her orbs once more. "How is it..." He pondered "That you know so much about me now, and yet don't even know your name ?"

The pegasus chuckled a little at this innocent question, as if the answer was obvious. "Oh, silly. You can call me whatever you want. Remember... i'm just part of your dream. Why, I don't even know what THIS means."

She pointed at her rather nondescript cutie mark, which resembled a segment of an orange.

Filthy mentally slapped himself. OF COURSE!! This was just a fantasy, and this lovely creature in front of him was purely a creation of his own making. He had made her, in his despair, as somepony he could confide in during the only quiet section of his day... And in his selfishness, had neglected to give her a title... Or even, a significant talent.

"I'm so sorry, my dear" he guiltily remarked "I've been so caught up in my own problems, I haven't even thought of giving you the attention you deserve. Tell you what... We'll come up with ideas for them together... and then you can decide." He was determined to make it up to the one pony who had kept him sane during the recent intense stress which otherwise might have brought him to his knees. Or, at least, racked up a very expensive psychiatrist's bill.

The purple pegasus blushed at such a kind offer, but quickly reminded him "How can we do that, though? I'm just a figment of your imagination. I could disappear at any time, and you might start dreaming about somepony els..."

It was now Filthy's turn to shush his companion before she finished her sentence. "That will never happen... I guarantee it, my dear. You may just have started out as an undistinguished figure I could complain to in times of trouble, but you've developed into so much more than that. Ever since my beloved... Left me forever... I've been a lonely, sad stallion. You're the first one to put any light back in my life since that horrible day. I don't care if you ARE 'just a dream', I love you. So much so, that some nights I just don't want to wake up."

The mare had listened to each syllable of this rather sappy, but completely heartfelt speech with a growing redness in her cheeks, and the second it was over launched herself at the tycoon with a ferocity that knocked them both to the ground. Not even bothering to climb onto the relative comfort of the bed, she started kissing him on his muzzle with the urgency of somepony who's intended was going to war. Filthy could only respond in kind, and for a while there seemed to be a dual contest as to: Who could stay on top the longest, who could smooch the most without coming up for air...

Suddenly, there was a loud scream coming from outside. The brown stallion and his new marefriend ceased their canoodling, before staring at each other with concern. Wasn't this supposed to be a PRIVATE dream?

Filthy disentangled himself from the pegasus. "Wait there" he pointedly said "I'll find out what's going on." He sauntered over to the window... And what he observed there made his blood run cold.

A strange black mist-like abomination was flying about, touching various parts of the imaginary Ponyville he was temporarily residing in. Whatever came into contact with it seemed to be turning into monsters... And it was heading this way. It reminded him of the supernatural villains in the comic books he enjoyed so much as a kid, before the bump-and-grind of everyday living turned him into a more cynical, practical individual.

He also thought he spotted Applejack and friends in hot pursuit of the 'thing', but he was too busy thinking of his other priorities to focus to much on that.

Namely, getting a special somepony of his to safety, before the creature got any closer.

Without going into too much detail, Filthy shouted out to the purple mare... "RUN!! There's something horrible coming this way!! I've never seen anything like it before (at least, not in the waking world, he mused) and I fear, if it's as powerful as it looks... Being in a fantasy world won't stop it from hurting us!!"

The pegasus hesitated for a minute "But, how..." she sputtered "That's not possible..."

"I can only tell you what I can see" said the brown stallion, getting more anxious as the shapeless dark fog approached ever nearer "And right now, I see that we're in serious danger! You get out of here... I'll hold it off. Don't worry about me... l'll be fine. I've survived hostile takeovers worse than this... And, the thought of never seeing my little princess again will spur me to victory. Go, now... And we'll meet each other again tomorrow... This I promise with all my heart."

The purple mare (who Filthy KNEW would have a proper name soon enough) nodded her head in understanding. Only pausing to give him a little peck on the cheek and to mouth a silent "Thank you", she galloped downstairs and ran out of the front door... Just in time too, as the creature was about to descend on that very building.

Inside, Filthy was mentally preparing himself for the encounter that was about to ensue. What should he do, to placate such a mysterious, violent being? He certainly was no fighter... He won all his battles with the stroke of a pen, not by waving his hooves in the air. He could try talking to it... But it didn't even look like this barely sentient thing was able to communicate...

That's when he hit on the idea.

MONEY!! OF COURSE!! The universal language.

Perhaps a bit of bribery was in order, to assure his safe passage back to the waking world. If the creature couldn't interpret words, he was sure it would understand profit... I mean, who wouldn't?!

He dwelt on these thoughts... Even as a giant hand from the outside came in to grab him...

Author's Note

Amazing how much mileage I got from one scene in the new episode. I seriously need a life.