“Dear Princess Celestia
No, that won’t do. One does not address one’s elder sibling as “princess.” I too am a princess after all. Besides, you know who’s writing this letter. You after all were the one who confined me to this room till I wrote it. Well, no that isn’t true. I’m not a filly. In fact I am three-thousand years old. You cannot confine me anywhere. Except the moon of course, but you don’t want to do that. Still, you highly suggested that I write this letter and cancelled all my duties for the day so that I’d have time to do so. In all honestly I thought I’d gotten away with it. The Tantibus was stopped and reabsorbed back into myself. Then I woke up and you were there, in Twilight’s castle. Looking down at me like a concerned mother. ~~You remind me of Mother, you know that?~~
Apparently my abrupt departure caused quite the stir, especially since I neglected to lower the moon. I really am sorry about that. I can’t imagine what you must have thought. ~~Did you think I’d turned back into~~ Did you think I’d been harmed or kidnapped? I was afraid you were there to scold me. I stood to apologize, but you just embraced me in your loving forehooves and everything felt right in the world. You give the best hugs. I fear I’ve gotten way off topic.
The purpose of this letter is to explain what I learned from this whole experience. First off, I learned not to create literal demons to torture myself for my sins. Particularly since I’d already been punished for my sins at your hooves. ~~I was actually trying to punish myself for what I did as Nightmare Moon after I came back from my exile.~~
You’ve made it quite clear-My ears are still ringing from your use of the Royal Canterlot Voice-that I need to tell you or somepony else I trust when I’m upset so they can help me through it. I should not consort with dark powers or create demonic entities. This is counterproductive to my relationship to you, my subjects, foreign relations and my own mental health. At least that’s what I picked up from the yelling.
You make an excellent point that the averted disaster with the Tantibus is just like my slip into Nightmare Moon. Just like I hid my feelings of resentment and envy causing them to fester and eventually cause my descent into madness, I hid my feelings of guilt and self-hatred. This led to those feelings growing stronger and nearly wreaking havoc in the real world. You asked why I didn’t come to you. You feel as if you’ve failed in your duty as a big sister if I don’t trust you enough to tell you when I’m upset about something. On this point you are incorrect. I do trust you, Big Sister. ~~The problem is I~~
~~I admire you because you’re cool and awesome and you could run the entire Kingdom by yourself and I don’t want to bother you with my lowly problems~~
I never got over my big sister worship. Remember when I was a filly and I’d follow you everywhere you went? I know I annoyed you at times.
I’d even sneak into your bed with my teddy bear and snuggle up to you because there were times I couldn’t sleep without knowing my big sister was there to protect me. I know you have so many problems of your own. I deal with half your paperwork after all. We have nobles to deal with and other nations with imperial delusions of grandeur. Compared to the drama of the world stage my problems seem lowly. I don’t want to be the annoying kid sister constantly whining about how Big Sister doesn’t pay enough attention to her or how our subjects love her more (although I think I’ve gotten a few extra points on the popularity scale with saving an entire town from a Nightmare. Not to brag or anything.) Complaining about how I don’t feel I’ve been punished enough after just coming back from a millennium-long exile? That’s a great way to get funny looks and a visit from the priest therapist. It sounds insane and I knew it was insane when I was doing it. I just didn’t want to take the chance of ever becoming Nightmare Moon again. Thanks to Twilight Sparkle I have managed to overcome my guilt. I promise I will never again create a Nightmare that can threaten the world. I’ve learned my lesson.
Although, that’s not the lesson you wanted me to learn. I promise that the next time I feel upset I will come to you. Even if I feel like my emotions are trivial it is apparent that they are not.
Your Sister,
Luna Duskbringer.”
Luna set the quill down and stood from the chair. After reading over it and sighing about how stupid it sounded she stood from her chair and trotted from the room. The angle of the sun shining through the alabaster hall told her that it was afternoon. It had taken her an hour to get her feelings out. These ‘Friendship Reports’ were difficult and she hoped she’d never have to write another one. Her sister was coming down the hall, her wings glinting in the light. She smiled at the younger princess.
“Good afternoon, Luna.”
“Good afternoon, ‘Tia.” She hoofed her the letter. Celestia read over it, her eyes moistening as she got to the heart of the letter.
“I…I had no idea you felt that way.” Celestia finally said.
Luna scuffed a hoof on the tiled floor. “I never wanted you to find out.”
She found herself in another one of her sister’s hugs. She rested her head on the elder alicorn’s shoulder.
“I love you, Luna. You know that right? I love you and I’m going to say it until you believe it.”
“I know, Sis. I love you too.”
“I never want you to suffer. And I don’t care if you’re upset about having a bad mane day. If something’s bothering you I want to know about it so I can help you. Your feelings are not trivial to me.”
“I’ll tell you next time I have a problem. I promise.”
“Good. I’m sorry I yelled at you.”
“It’s alright. I needed to be yelled at. I messed up on this one.”
“It’s in the past. As long as you’ve learned from it.”
“I have. I really have forgiven myself.”
“I’m glad to hear it. I thought we’d put all that behind us. I’m glad Twilight helped you, but…”
“You wish you’d been there?”
“Y-yes. I should have known something was wrong.”
“Maybe you need to forgive yourself, Sister. You can’t possibly blame yourself for Nightmare Moon and you most certainly can’t blame yourself for the Tantibus.”
“I know. I still do though.”
Luna realized Celestia was crying.
“It doesn’t matter if you didn’t tell me. I should have still known that something was wrong! I should have been there for you and I wasn’t! Just like with…just like…just like last time! I’m still a neglectful big sister just like I was a millennium ago.”
Luna stroked her mane, caressing the rainbow colored strands as Celestia cried.
“Shh, shh, Sister, it’s alright. I don’t blame you for any of that.”
She wiped away Celestia’s tears.
“Do you have any more duties for the day?”
“A-a meeting of Parliament. A few appointments.”
“Cancel them.”
“What?”
“Cancel them. I want to spend time with you. It seems your bearing some pain of your own. You want to here for me, so let me be here for you.”
Celestia sniffled. “I-I can do that.”
She called over a guard who was desperately trying to not look at the scene before him and told him to let the seneschal know that all her appointments were cancelled for the day. He sternly nodded and went off to his duties. Luna and Celestia walked side by side away from the castle.
“You ever been to the Hay Shack?” Luna asked.
“Can’t say I have.”
“You’ll love it. Let’s go.”
They spread their wings and flew together towards the city.
