Signs

by Adorable Hoof Studios

Rating: everyone
Tags: Pinkie Pie, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Rainbow Dash, Other, Comedy, Random
Length: 2658

Pinkie Pie can't handle the signs in her usual path. It won't end well for whoever put them.

On a normal day hopping along her usual path in Ponyville, Pinkie Pie has the misfortune of coming to see horrendous signs that insult her.
Whoever put the signs don't understand the consequences of their actions.
That pony simply doesn't understand the consequences.
No problem, it will all go right.

Published 2015-07-13 02:40:01 UTC
Last updated 2015-07-13 02:40:01 UTC

Signs

Pinkie Pie galloped happily along the dirt road, one of the many that criss-crossed their way around Ponyville. Though her eyes were closed, she seemed to know exactly where she was going with no issue, casually humming a tune happily under her breath.

She suddenly stopped, her eyes snapping open, her mouth opening slightly in surprise. Before her, just to the side of the road, was a fairly large yellow sign; marked with a black outline of a pony, one that looked suspiciously like her, galloping her way over the words, ‘Goofy Pony’.

“Couldn’t be more right!” Pinkie laughed, resuming her galloping. Her mane bounced with each little jump, which steadily grew until she was practically jumping with every little step. It wasn’t much longer before she stopped once again.

Another sign stood before her, this one blocking her path in the middle of the road. The shorter sign stretched from one side of the road to the other, this one red with white lettering. ‘Pink Ponies Will Not Be Taken Seriously Beyond This Point’ Pinkie laughing loudly at it.

“Silly sign, ponies never take me serious!” She hopped over it in one skip, hop, and a jump.

She continued her way down the road, resuming her little hum. It wasn’t long before another sign came into view, stopping Pinkie completely. This one stood tall and lean, just in the center of the road. ‘Pinkie doesn’t believe in Celestia’.

“What sort of silly pony wouldn’t believe in Celestia?” Pinkie scoffed with a smile, chuckling to herself. “Especially me, I’ve met her tons of times!” She put a hoof to her chin, contemplating for a moment. “Unless I am not real!” She gasped suddenly, her face falling in sudden shock.

Hesitantly she reached up to her chest, and pinched herself. “Ouch!” Her face instantly brought itself back to it’s original brightness. “Nope, still real!”

With that she resumed her merry way, oblivious to the secret plot behind these signs. Little did she know, that the path she had chosen was not picked by her, but rather the invisible force that continued placing these signs in her path.

Despite the three odd signs, Pinkie thought nothing of it. Though road signs weren’t exactly common on these sideways, and the fact that they all seemed directed at her, she figured it was just a coincidence.

The sun slowly moved it’s way across the sky, bathing Equestria below in it’s warmth and light. Pinkie continued her little journey on the outskirts of Ponyville in relative peace, the signs seemingly all behind her. A shadow passed over her, bringing her eyes up to the perfectly clear blue skies.

“Hey Rainbow Dash!” She screamed at the top of her lungs, trying to catch the attention of the speed demon. It took Rainbow a second before she looked down, starting her way down to the pink pony.

“Hey Pinkie Pie, whatcha doin’ out here?” She stopped and hovered just off the ground a few feet away from Pinkie, a carefree smile plastered on her face.

“I was just going on a nice afternoon walk, ya know?” Her words came out of her mouth almost faster than her lips could flap, seemingly the time she spent not talking pent her up. “But I keep finding these really weird signs, like really weird ones!” She brought up her hooves, extending them as if trying to represent how big they were.

“Weird signs huh?” Rainbow raised an eyebrow uncertainly. “Like what kind of weird signs?”

“Like, REALLY weird signs!” She emphasized ‘really’, almost exploding out at Rainbow Dash. “There was this one sign, it said I didn’t think Celestia was real!”

“Huh?” Rainbow rose up in the air slightly, looking down at Pinkie with mild disbelief. “Why would somepony put up a sign like that?”

“That’s just it, I don’t know!” She clapped a hoof against her face temporarily. “It’s almost like somepony trying to pull a silly prank or something.”

“Ya think it might be a prank huh?” Rainbow lowered herself all the way down to this ground, landing gracefully. “Kinda weird prank to pull, sounds like it could be a good idea though.”

“I don’t know, it’s really uninspired.” Pinkie waved her hoof in the air.

“Uninspired?” Rainbow crocked her head to the side slightly, listening to Pinkie closer now.

“Ya know, uninspired!” She exclaimed abruptly. “The signs just aren’t that funny, or really that…” She waved her hoof slightly sticking her tongue out of her mouth, chewing on it slightly, as she tried to think of the proper word. “Interesting.” She said mildly.

Rainbow thought quickly, shaking her hoof. “Hey Pinkie, I gotta get back to work.” She began beating her wings, starting up into the air.

“Okay Dashie!” She smiled brightly, waving at her friend slowly gaining altitude. “If you see the pony setting up the signs tell them they could be better!” She hollered up her.

“Will do Pinkie” Dash called back over her shoulder, a small determined smile on her face, flying off away into the distance.

Pinkie’s walk took her around the outside of Ponyville, the long twisting road taking her around some of the nicest scenery around Ponyville’s outer limits. She passed through well kept gardens, and hopped her way through small groves along the path.

She stopped dead in her tracks, looking up a bright yellow sign just to the side of the road. The upside down triangle sign, red with bold white lettering, reading clearly: ‘Warning: A stupid is pony reading this”.

“That isn’t very nice.” Pinkie shook her head, continuing her way along the road. The sign quickly fell behind it, but it left a small impression on her.

“Just who is setting up these signs?” She asked herself openly.

“I don’t know Pinkie, but we’ll get to the bottom of this.” She answered herself, nodding once. Some of her bounce left her step, though she wasn’t slowed in the slightest.

The sun moved it’s way along the sky, it’s highest point passed. The day began cooling slightly, to a more brisk heat with cooling wind. The perfect day couldn’t distract Pinkie from the signs though, they were starting to get at her.

It wasn’t much longer before another sign came into her field of vision. Instantly her hairs began standing on end. At first it was humorous, now it had become just aggravating. This rectangular sign, bright construction orange with black stamped lettering, read ‘Pinkie Pie is a party pooper’.

“What!” Pinkie exclaimed, shaking her head. “Whoever is setting up these signs, clearly doesn’t know me, or my work!” She stated proudly, with a hint of arrogance, pointing a hoof accusingly at the sign. “That is clearly a lie!”

She hurried away from the sign, leaving it behind as quickly as she could. It wasn’t too offensive, but what if a pony that didn’t know her saw it? They might think she is a party pooper! Simply unacceptable.

Pinkie lost all the bounce in her step now, the gears in her mind churning almost audibly. The pony setting up these signs obviously didn’t know her, after all no pony that knew her would ever call her a party pooper! The thoughts mulled themselves over in her mind.

Perhaps it had been Discord trying to trick her? Possibly Queen Chrysalis, or even King Sombra! Pinkie didn’t know, all she knew is that somepony seemed intent on placing signs in front of her.

“Hey you!” Pinkie called out, looking up at the sky. “Yeah, you up there!” She pointed her hoof up at the clear blue sky at nothing, as if trying to call out the gods above mocking her. “I’m not pointing at nothing, and you know it!”

The pink pony continued on her way, ignoring her form- “No, we both know you know what’s going on around here!”

Clearly the pink pony was insane.

“No, I can see you up there, narrator!” She proclaimed loudly.

Certainly, she had lost her marbles.

“Unlucky for you, I left my marbles at home!”

Just ignore the man behind the blue curtain.

“Just tell me who is doing this!” She screamed out, getting frustrated with the devilishly handsome, and certainly brilliant, narrator. “Stop feeding your ego, and tell me!”

The pink pony continued on, quickly being reassured that she will be helped in all due time.

“You better mister!” She said hotly up at the sky.

Pinkie resumed her walk, a small sense of agitation visible with her more tense stature. Her ears perked, eyes squinted slightly looking forward, her muscles tense; she was ready for whatever the next sign would throw at her.

She thought she had prepared at least. The next sign she saw, a white square with bright blue letters, read ‘Pinkie Pie doesn’t keep Pinkie Promises’. Pinkie looked up at the sign for a long minute.

“WHO PUT THIS SIGN HERE!?” Pinkie exploded, her eyes turning fiery red with anger, an anger of which not even all the pits of Tartarus could ever dream of holding. Every hair on her body stood on end, the sudden rush of rage bringing her to gallop back to Ponyville possibly faster than Rainbow Dash could dream of.

Wait, she isn’t going to Ponyville. Pinkie ran pass Ponyville, over hills and through rivers. Nothing seemed able to stop her. She ran so far she left the map of Equestria, beyond what any living creature could possibly imagine.

“Let me in!” Pinkie’s voice roared behind the Narrator's flimsy door. “Let me in and tell me who did this!”

Oh my god, she’s here. Help! Someone!

“I know you’re in there!” She slammed her hooves against the door loudly, the hinges threatening to slap off with every heavy blow.

I’ll do anything, please!

“Then tell me who put those signs up!” She slammed her entire body against the door, forcing her way inside the compact room.

I can’t tell you!

“Why not?” She roared, storming up to the narrator with such anger and hate the room’s temperature rose several degrees, and several pieces of furniture suddenly caught flame.

Because it’ll ruin the tension in the story!

“This is not a game!” She took the narrator by the scruff of his shirt, holding him up to her. “Tell me.” Poison dripped from her words, stabbing at the narrator with such deadly force he almost dropped dead on the spot.

I’ll cut you a deal!
“You tell me, or I’ll do unthinkable things to you.” Pinkie threatened.

I’ll guide you to the culprit, but I won’t outright tell you!

Pinkie looked down at the narrator, who groveled very manly and with the upmost pride. “If you even think about double crossing me…” She trailed off darkly, before rising and leaving the room; the narrator crying in a pool of his own urine.

Pinkie returned to Ponyville within the hour, marching down the center road, of which branched off into many of the offstreets about the town. She sauntered her way through the town, many ponies seeing the anger she seethed; most running inside their homes, and a few even trying to hide anywhere they could, just out of her burning gaze.

Rainbow Dash laid lazily out on a cloud several yards above the ground, taking her customary midday nap; the rest of her duties for the day pushed off until near the end of her shift. Her rest ended abruptly though, feeling a sudden heat wave wash over her.

“Wh-?” She jumped off the cloud, looking down at the ground. Pinkie Pie stormed underneath her cloud, marching down the road with her anger and determination heating the air around her.

“Pinkie, what’re you doing?” She lowered herself down to her, keeping a distance from the seemingly burning pony.

“Hunting!” She exploded sharply. “Somepony has crossed the line!” She reached up suddenly, bringing Rainbow down to her, face-to-face. “Crossed the line!”

Rainbow Dash tried to pull away, a small amount of panic rushing up in her. “Whoa, whoa, whoa Pinkie, what happened?” She failed to completely break away from Pinkie’s tight grasp.

“The signs!” Pinkie gestured broadly, eyes growing to the size of saucer plates. “They lie!”

“What?” Rainbow pushed herself away, looking down at Pinkie with a mixture of fright, and guilt.

“Don’t you see Rainbow?” Pinkie leaped back, shaking her head quickly. “Somepony has been posting lies about me all around Ponyville!” she leaped up, her energy clearly exploding.

“Umm, Pinkie?” Rainbow took her chance to pull away, biting her lower lip. “Just what were you thinking, ya know, you’d do to the pony?”

“Oh silly Dashie!” Pinkie giggled, her anger disappearing momentarily. “I can’t tell you, it’d be illegal!”

“Il-Illegal?” Rainbow pulled back, fear striking in her.

“Yup!” She proclaimed loudly. “They will pay for everything they’ve done.” A dark and surprisingly evil smile began spreading across her face.

“Y-Ya know, Pinkie?” Rainbow began breaking out in a cool swear, fear building visibly in her. “I mig-might have an idea of who pu-put those signs up.” Rainbow Dash bit her tongue harshly, wishing to take her words back.

“You do?” Pinkie’s face suddenly brightened immediately, her smile returning to it’s normal happiness, and light hearted nature.

“Ye-Yeah, umm, I saw Applejack heading of Ponyville with a wheelbarrel this morning.” Rainbow tried to smile convincingly, a tinge of guilt suddenly coming in the back of her mind.

“Applejack!” Pinkie started down the road, roaring loudly.

“Pinkie, wait!” Rainbow tried to follow after her, flapping her wings hurriedly. “Maybe you shouldn’t be so harsh on Applejack.” She tried to chuckle nonchalantly.

“Rainbow Dash, this has become unacceptable, UNACCEPTABLE I SAY!” Pinkie bowed her head slightly. “Applejack not only lied about me, she said I break my Pinkie Promises!”

Rainbow’s mind raced, trying desperately to think of what to do. “Ya don’t really have to do anything to Applejack, ya know?” She chuckled uneasily.

“But Rainbow Dash!” She stopped completely, Rainbow stopping just in front of her. “Applejack can’t be my friend.” her eyes stinging with tears. “If she is so willing to lie about me.”

“P-Pinkie.” Rainbow Dash kicked her hoof into the dirt lightly, looking down. “I-It wasn’t Applejack.” Defeat filled her voice, guilt easily matching it.

“Then who did it?” Pinkie looked at Rainbow Dash untrustingly.

“Well, I-” Rainbow began shortly, her face falling.

“Big Mac wasn’t it!” She roared up loudly. “No, Mayor Mare!” She followed it up quickly, looking at Rainbow expectantly, waiting for her to confirm her conspiracies.

“No Pin-” Rainbow began before before being cut off again.

“Lyra Heartstrings! Cranky! Fluttershy!” She hollered off the names rapidly, Rainbow sticking her hoof in Pinkie’s mouth to silence her abruptly.

“It was me!” She nearly yelled it out at Pinkie, who gasped and drew back in seemingly shock.

“Rainbow! How could you!?” She drew back, her eyes grow wet with tears.

“I-I’m sorry.” Rainbow’s head fell, clearly upset with herself. “It started off as a prank, but then you started saying how just unfunny it was.” She kicked some dirt with her hoof. “So, I, might have went overboard.”

Pinkie didn’t speak for a long moment, completely silent. Her mane and tail seemed to deflate slightly, her coat color almost looking a shade darker.

“I’m sorry Pinkie.” Rainbow looked up at her hesitantly, gulping heavily, tensing for whatever Pinkie planned to do.

Pinkie suddenly wrapped her hooves around Rainbow Dash, a light chuckling coming out of her. “Oh Dashie, why didn’t you just tell me it was a prank?”

“Huh?” Rainbow almost pulled back instinctively, uncertain of what to say. “You’re not mad?”

“Oh Dashie, it was just a prank, even though it wasn’t a very funny one.” She smiled, her mane fully inflated and her coat looking as brilliant as ever.

“So, you’re not going to do anything?” Rainbow asked uncertainly, almost afraid of the answer.

“There is one thing.” She grinned darkly, making Rainbow gulp loudly…