My Little Pony: Origins

    Doctor Edward Richtofen spoke into his audio diary. “June the fourth, nineteen hundred and eighteen, Dear diary. Today I have managed to procure another crate of my favorite pony toys, they are so cute, with their little candy colored faces…”He began to think blissfully about his little pony toys, wanting to get back to them. “Oh, and I was able to keep Doctor Maxis, and my unlikely allies alive, again! The former not really being able to be considered alive, and latter of which STILL do not do not follow my well laid plans to escape from this accursed landscape, and rid ourselves of that dreadful little girl claiming to be the daughter of Doctor Maxis.” The doctor responsible for the zombie outbreak of the excavation site sat back in his chair. However, we believe we have discovered a way to free ourselves-NO DEMPSEY, THEY ARE MIENE PONIES,  NO TOUCHIE!“ The german snapped at his american companion after he toughed a lavender unicorn that was spattered with mud on his table

The american replied, “What the heck are you doing, playing with those girl’s toys anyway Richtofen? Shouldn’t we be out there, kicking undead freak bags back into the ground?” He picked up one of them, a lavender colored one.

“Ah, I see you’ve finally decided to tone down your language Dempsey,” The scientist observed, Dempsey often spoke in a foul mouthed manner. “And I am not playing with those toys, I am using them to plan our escape from this site, and that dreadful little girl.” Richtofen explained, walking over the Tank Dempsey, and snatching the lavender pony from his hand. Richtofen stroked her muddy mane, pressing it to his cheek. “Don't worry Twilight Sparkle, I won't let him hurt you.” He placed the pony back where it was before Dempsey had disturbed her. “This one represents me.” He pointed to Twilight Sparkle.

“So you made yourself a purple female pony?” He asked. Dempsey did not know whether to be weirded out, or horrified, he could watch an army of zombies be massacred, but this, this right here, almost made him puke. After seeing all the stuff that Richtofen had done, it was nearly incomprehensible he would be into these things, but he was. “Why?”

Richtofen walked around the table, with a map of the excavation site under the toys, and various other objects representing things around the site. “Because in the show she is a part of, she is the smart, science-y one, like me.”Richtofen looked around for the one he had to represent Dempsey. “This one was going to represent you.” He threw Dempsey a tan colored, blue maned pegasii, Richtofen obviously didn't like this one, one of the few traits he had in common with Tank Dempsey. “However, despite your mouth, and attitude, and first impressions, and lack of intellect, you are actually somewhat likeable Dempsey.” That almost sounded like a compliment, “At least when you’re not trying to kill or capture me that is.” Richtofen clearly remembered how their first encounter transpired, when the rest of the of The Allies’ agents arrived to find him, each pointing a gun at him, then one of the giant robots nearly stepped on them, as hordes of zombies came for them.

After picking up a lighter colored purple unicorn mare, Richtofen said, “This one is Nikolai,”

“Uh, why?”

Richtofen then whispered loudly, “I chose her because she’s communist, like him.” He then returned his voice to normal volume. “Now where did i put yours? There.” He picked up a white unicorn male. “This one is you, he’s a captain in a pony military, of sorts.” It was apparent that Richtofen’s work in Group 935 had not hindered his viewing of temporally displaced tv show episodes.

Dempsey was wondering why he was even listening to this. “Wouldn’t it be more productive, Doctor, if you stopped-”

Takeo’s voice came from another room, “Dempsey, what is taking you so long?” The japanese Bushido warrior entered the room, “You were supposed-” He stopped when he saw that Richtofen was holding up a candy colored pony, and him and Dempsey were talking about them. “Why are you playing with girl pony toys german? And Dempsey-”

Before Takeo could say anything, Richtofen said, “Ah, Takeo, I was just about to get to your representation.” He picked up a yellow colored female unicorn, and walked over to Takeo to show it to him,  “This one is you, she has ‘Sunset’ in her name, and you're from the land of the rising sun.” Both Allies failed to see his convoluted connection between the pony and its human representative.

Richtofen handed Sunset’s toy to Takeo, “Is this typical of german, no?” He whispered to Dempsey, who shrugged.

And just to make the entire scenario even more awkward, Nikolai walked in the room. “Oh look, you’re all playing with pony toys, may I join in?”

All of the Origins Crew looked at Nikolai, flabbergasted.

“Richtofen, can you just explain your plan, these things are weirding me out, I just want to get away from them.” Tank Dempsey said. “And why don’t you just give them to Samantha, maybe that will get her to leave us alone.”

“Very well Dempsey.” Richtofen began to explain the map. “We are here,” The doctor pointed the the ponies, Twilight sparkle, Sunset Shimmer, Starlight Glimmer, and Shining Armour, the representations of the four of them were adjacent to the Cutie Mark of Twilight Sparkle. “This represents the 115 Conversion Generators, each of the Cutie Marks represent a generator, except for the sun, that represents an ancient machine we unearthed to upgrade our weapons.” Twilight’s was at Generator 1, Applejack’s was at Generator 2, Fluttershy’s was at Generator 3,Rainbow Dash’s was at Generator 4, Pinkie Pie’s was at Generator 5, and Rarity’s was at Generator 6, all scattered around the map. At the mound where the excavation wa taking place, there was Sunset Shimmer’s Cutie Mark was representing the Pack-A-Punch Machine. “The small purple crystals represent the parts to the Staff of Lightning, we need to obtain all of them to build it, and the rest of the parts for the other 3 staffs, including the 115 power jem.These three broken parts are where the pieces of the skydrone we retrieved to revive Maxis were located.” the broken parts were of a Princess Luna buildable toy. “we will need to power each Generator, collect every staff piece, Ice by digging when its snowing, Lightning by riding the tank, wind by going into each of the Robots, and Fire, I have no idea how to get them. After we get all of them, we need to go to The Crazy place through the tunnels to get the power jem, then build them in the Excavation Site.  the Rest of the steps I will explain on the way because they can not be done on the map.”

The three seemed to have difficulty in comprehending why there pony representations, but they understood what each represented.

“Now that we are all familiarised with the plan, go rest, we have a long day ahead of ourselves.” Richtofen went to a makeshift bed in another room, and Dempsey called.

“What if the freak bags come for us?”

“Just send Maxis out, he doesn’t need sleep.”

Richtofen was awoken by shooting, fearing more zombies had come, he jumped out of his bed, grabbing his MP40, and ran out, only to find Dempsey shooting target practice with the others.

“Hey doc, join us for target practice, your aim could use improvement.” Dempsey said, shooting and hearing objects shatter and fall to the floor.

“Ha, is funny because German has terrible aim.” Nikolai said, in a semi-drunken state, he was the epitome of a Russian stereotype.

“Ja, ja, ja, I need to learn how to shoot, excuse me, I’M A DOCTOR! not a soldier.” He aimed his MP40, “What are you using at targets anyway, Vodka bottles?”

“No, your ponies.” Dempsey said.

“WHAT!?” Richtofen accidentally pulled the trigger, and the recoil rent the gun flying, making everyone duck for cover.

“What the heck Richtofen, they’re just ponies!” Dempsey asked.

“Nien, they are MEINE ponies!” Richtofen ran over to see what ponies had been shot to pieces, luckily they were all guard ponies or ones he did not care for, but there were a few Fluttershy, Rainbow Dash, and others he cared for among the shot ponies, the next one up was his Twilight Sparkle, that he grabbed, and put in his pocket. “If you are going to massacre my ponies, at least have the courtesy to shoot the Flash Sentry dolls, I despise them.” With that, Richtofen headed back to his bed, only to be halted when he heard Samantha’s booming voice.

“Edward Richtofen, Tank Dempsey, Takeo Masaki, Nikolai Belinski, you will pay for not freeing me from Agartha.” The Demonic Announcer, the imprisoned Samantha, said.

“Oh yeah little girl, what are you going to to, talk us to death?” Dempsey gloated, believing she could not hurt them.

Suddenly they were each surrounded by orbs of light, lifted off the ground, and vanished.