Shredder in Equestria (Briefly)
“What do you mean I can't enter?” Seth threw up his arms in protest. The crowd around the entrance to the convention center gave a wide berth to the crazy person wearing a suit covered in blades.
The burly security guard crossed his arms and shook his head. “Sorry, dude, but you can't take real weapons into a convention like this. I can't allow you to enter while dressed like that.”
“Hey! I'm dressed up like Shredder from the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. I thought this a cosplay convention. I'm dressed up in a costume. What's problem?”
“The problem is that your costume is dangerous. The convention center is crowded and you can't go bumping into people while donned in knives. You can keep the face mask, the gray suit, the black pants, and your cape, but you'll have to lose the shoulder, wrist and shin plates if you want to enter.”
“This is stupid! I paid good money for this! Whoever heard of a Shredder without his blades?”
“Look, dude, I'm just doing my job.”
“Oh come on! You let that guy dressed as Cloud in, and he was carrying a huge-ass sword!”
“Okay, two things: first of all, the sword was make from fiberglass, and secondly, you're an ass. Now piss off before I arrest you.”
“Oh fuck you! We'll see who's laughing once the Foot Clan show up and feed you to Krang from Dimension X!”
Seth stomped off into the parking lot. “Of all the—” he muttered to himself under his breath. “Heh. If only there was an actual portal to Dimension X. Then I'd have an army and they'd really be sorry.”
As if speaking about it summoned such a thing, wind whipped in front of him, billowing out his purple cape. A thin white glowing line appeared in thin air, gradually opening up to reveal a white and blue world beyond.
Seth was stunned. “Wow.” He poked his head through and looked around. White buildings rose up from the white ground in colonial-style architecture accented with rainbows. Colorful, winged, small horses flew around and walked in the streets. Well, many of them stopped and pointed at him, hovering in the air on their wings.
Backing out, Seth stopped to think. That certainly wasn't Dimension X, but the locals might know how to open a portal there. Plus, there wasn't any burly security guard at the door to stop him from entering with his suit full of razor-sharp blades.
Speaking of the security guard, Seth glanced at the police car parked next to him and an evil grin crept up his face under his mask. Taking a sideswipe, his wrist blades cut right through the fiberglass frame, leaving huge grooves. He hit something solid, and his blades got stuck. The car also exploded in hoots and honks when the alarm went off.
“Hey! What's going on over there!?”
That was the guard, and boy did he sound pissed. Heavy boots ran towards Seth.
“Shit!” Seth managed to yank his arm free, but to his alarm, the portal was closing just as rapidly as it had opened. “Shit! Shit! Shit!” With a flying leap, he jumped through. He made it just in time. “Yes!”
The first thing he felt upon arriving was a buffet of wind. A large group of equines scattered before him. He did a flip in the air and intended to strike a cool pose when he landed. “Oh, yea—”
Paf.
“—aaaaAAAAAAH!”
Unfortunately, he did not land, and fell right though the ground. He panicked and flailed his arms and legs around wildly. The white city he'd seen was actually perched upon a giant cloud. This dimension had solid ground too, and it was approaching very rapidly.
Two of the winged horses dressed in blue suits came diving towards him.
Thwack!
A second scream joined his own, and one of the horses caught the other one who clutched a hoof to its chest. The limb oozed with blood.
Seth watched in horror as his potential saviors receded from sight. The ground was getting closer very rapidly.
A whistle pierced the air, and a second group of uniformed horses dove towards him in tight formation. Instead of trying to grab him directly, they flew under him and split apart, spreading out a net.
The knives on Seth's costume sliced through the rope like butter. He fell right through without losing any momentum.
The horses above him all winced and averted their eyes.
SPLAT!
Standing on the rocks below, Princess Celestia nodded at the assembled group of ponies. Guards stood at attention and a pile of sharp-looking warped, bent, and bloodstained metal plates covered in sharp blades sat at her feet. The 'accident' they'd been pulled from was still fresh, and not far off.
Rainbow Dash covered her mouth, and turned around to throw up in a bush. Twilight also looked greenish, but held her ground. Spitfire maintained a professional stance, even with her leg in a cast, and Fluttershy was unperturbed, and flying around making bird calls.
“Uh, Celestia—” Twilight winced and pinched her nose shut with magic “—ugh, that smell. I, um, did we really need to see this? I mean—isn't it a bit late for us to do anything to help here?”
“Twilight, we have to face some ugly truths at times. While it's too late to help this victim, we're gathered here to prevent this from happening again. That's why I called for this meeting.” Celestia looked up at the cloud city floating above them.
Rainbow Dash lifted her head out of the bush. “How did this even happen? Weren't the Wonderbolts supposed to catch, uh...?” She urped again, and dry heaved in the bush.
“We did follow the standard procedure and the backup,” Spitfire said, “But the knives proved problematic. That creature very nearly sliced my leg in half.” Rumaging in her shirt pocket, she pulled out a dented horseshoe and spat it on the ground. “That was the only thing that stopped it from doing so.”
Twilight winced when she floated it up to her face. “Ouch.”
“It wouldn't be the first time I've taken a beating while trying to rescue somepony.”
Rainbow Dash held her head up again. “Yeah, but if that creature was too dangerous to approach and too sharp to catch with a net, then why not whip up a tornado to break its fall? You wouldn't even have to get close.”
A moment of silence passed.
“That kind of quick thinking is why you'd make an excellent wonderbolt someday,” Spitfire said.
A flock of large, black birds flew in and started buzzing around the victim. Dash wasn't able to acknowledge that compliment because she threw up again.
Celestia stepped forward and gently placed a wing on Dash's shoulder. “Thank you, Dash. You may go.”
The greenish-tinted cyan pegasus nodded her appreciation and flew off.
Fluttershy landed nearby and ruffled her wings nervously. “Um, Princess, those remains look human. Is it really okay to let those buzzards, well, you know.”
“Calm yourself, Fluttershy. Human flesh will not poison them.”
“Oh, thank goodness.”
“Wait. That mess was human?” Twilight asked. “But how did a human get in Cloudsdale?”
“That's what I called you here to find out,” Celestia said.
“Me? But—hmm...” Twilight tapped a hoof on her chin. “The portal I know of is bound in a mirror in the Crystal Empire.”
“But there's also that portal to the Breezie world too,” Fluttershy added.
“Hey, you're right! Equestria does have some naturally-occurring portals that open on regular intervals. This must be a wild one. Spitfire, can you check Cloudsdale's records to see if we can find occurrences of this in the past? If we can determine its period, then we can predict when it will open again and I can seal it off for good.”
“I can check, but Cloudsdale moves around so any information will likely be spotty and incomplete.”
“Ooh, I just love a good research project!”
“That does sound like a good idea,” Celestia said, “but before you seal the portal, we will also want to return these—” Celestia lightly tapped the dangerous metal plates “—and the bones.”
“You're right. Sorry, I got ahead of myself.” Twilight hung her head.
The buzzing of the buzzards drowned out all other sound.
“Thank you all for coming here.” Celestia looked up at the sky again. “I just wish this didn't have to happen.”
“Us too, Celestia, us too.”
All of the ponies hung their heads to pay their respects for the victim.
