Deep in His Eyes

WARNING: This story is rated Mature for a reason. It also contains Coltcuddling as it's main theme. You have been warned!

Deep In His Eyes

CHAPTER FOUR

Celestia's sun raised slowly, easing itself above the distant hills and mountains of the Appleoosan desert. A few birds cawed overhead, as the sweet, cool sunlight crawled across the sands. Eventually, it fell upon the face of a certain Blue Pegasus, who stirred and grumbled as it edged him back into consciousness.

Soarin couldn't bear to open his eyes. It was far too comfortable where he was, plus the sun may have actually fried his brain.

Actually, where was he? And who was this, slender, sleek, long maned figure he was snuggled so closely to?

In his early morning confusion, and still half asleep, he pressed his muzzle into the figures neck and gently kissed it, stroking a hoof down that soft, smooth belly, onto those tight, wide hips and evenually taking a gentle squeeze of that finely shaped flank.

"She's a hot one..." he thought to himself, nuzzling against the shape's cheek, eyes still closed. "Good choice Soar, awesome plot on this one..."

Something went off in his head, alarm bells almost, as if what he was saying didnt make sense. But, of course it did. Who else would he be...

"Mmmmm..." murmured Braeburn, the tender touch of last night's lover waking him, "Well, g'mornin' to you too..."

Ah. That was what it was.

The Pegasus opened his eyes and wished he hadn't. The sun's bright light hit him like a hammer, and he groaned as his eyes stung.

Braeburn sighed, turning his head and gently kissing Soarin on the cheek.

The Pegasus quickly shuffled and sat up, relinquishing his hold around the cowpony's body.

Braeburn opened his eyes, and turned his whole body around, leaning his head on his elbow and watching the wonderbolt as he rubbed his eyes.

"Y'alright pardner?" he giggled quietly, as Soarin glanced over his shoulder at him.

"Uh... Yeah, yeah, I'm great..." he said, a little too quickly. In his head all the memories of what had happened came back to him, the moments of passion, the cries of pleasure and the romantic moments the two had shared the night before. He swallowed, as conflicting feelings filled him.

"Ya sure ya' didn't hit your head again or nothin?" The earth pony giggled, stretching and yawning as he threw the top cover of the sleeping bag off.
Soarin couldnt help but giggle at their private joke, and he felt a tingle in his wings.

"Uh... No." he said, bringing himself back down. "Honest I'm alright..."

"Well alrighty then!" Braeburn gave the pegasus one of his huge signature grins as he leaned up on his haunches and yawned again, rising to his hooves and trotting over to look at his reflection in the pool in an attempt to return order to his surely messy mane. As he rubbed a hooffull of water into his flowing locks, Soarin - still in a half asleep daze - rubbed his eyes and grumbled under his breath.

"Calm down... Hey, calm the buck down, it's alright, he's probably feeling as awkward as you..."

After he had fixed his mane the apple farmer gave a wink and sat down next to the pegasus. "Well ah'm famished, how bout's we get some food in us?" He flashed another toothy grin at the Wonderbolt, reveling in the night the two had spent together, his sore flank a constant reminder.

Soarin glanced up at the earth pony, and tried his best to feign a smile. But the earth pony saw something... Not quite right.

"I'm alright, actually... But uh, thanks..." he said, unconvincingly. His mind yet again cut in - Would you calm the hell down? I mean, cmon. He's no different than he was last night and you bucked him senseless, remember?!

The Apple Farmer leaned his head over onto Soarin's shoulder quizzically. "Ya' sure you're ahllright hun?" He nuzzled the Wonderbolt softly, complete rapture filling his heart for getting to spend more time with the wonderful stallion.

The sudden jerk from Soarin wasn't intentional - he had no idea why he'd done it. But he did. He pulled away from Braeburn and hunched up, before getting to his hooves and straightening his own mane out.

"Look, I've just got a lot on my mind, alright... I got a show today, uh... I should get going..." he gushed, cursing himself.

"Oh... Alright then..." The earth pony didn't quite seem dejected, but there was a sad undertone in his voice that quickly disappeared. "How about we hang out after your show?"

The Pegasus didn't respond, instead just gazed at the Farm pony. In that moment he felt fine, but knew as soon as their eyes broke contact he would be back into his confusion.

Instead of an answer, he gingerly leant down and stroked a hoof along Braeburn's cheek, their emerald eyes still gazing lovingly into each other.

"Kiss him, you idiot..." Soarins mind rambled, but he pulled himself away. "I'll catch you later, Brae..." he said, flexing his wings and sighing, "I promise..."

The earth pony still sat there slightly sad and confused, but the prospect of spending more time with the handsome pegasus regardless of when, brought a smile to his face. "Thank ya' Soar’... For las' night ah mean..."

The memories flooded Soarin's mind, and this time the feelings were warm, comforting... But the unease quickly returned.

"I... I can't hang around much longer, sorry..." he said, avoiding Braeburn's eyes as he broke into a jog, and threw himself clear of the outcrop, his wings catching the breeze and taking him high into the air.

Braeburn sat, solemnly quiet as he watched.

He sat there for a long time, watching the pegasus fly further and further away, until he couldn't even see a blue dot over Appleousia. It was at this point that the earth pony's smile faded as he let out a sigh. "Well ah better get this place packed up..." He said to nopony but himself as he began to roll up the sleeping bag, and gathered up the lantern, placing them back in the crate. He slid the lid back on and grabbed his hat, flipping it onto his head. He sighed one last time as he looked around the empty cave and began the long walk back to his home, once again alone.

*********************************

The wind sang in Soarin's ears as he jetted through the sky, his wings beating against the breeze and occasionally folding shut to increase his momentum.

The feeling of flight always cleared his mind, helping him get thoughts straightened out in his head and make sense of everything. It gave himself time to hear his own thoughts, everything else drowned out by the rushing wind. And currently, as he zoomed in between two large, pillar like rock formations towards Appleoosa, his mind was yammering.

"YOU IDIOT. WHAT WAS THAT ALL ABOUT?!"

His ever helpful inner monologue hadnt left him alone since he had flown away from the spring on the cliffside. And everything it had been saying had been true. And heartbreaking.

"YOU TOLD HIM YOU LOVED HIM. YOU SHARED SUCH AN AMAZING TIME TOGETHER AND YOU'RE WILLING TO THROW THAT ALL AWAY BECAUSE OF YOU'RE PRIDE?!" his mind scolded him, and he shook his head, clearing his eyes of the tears that had filled them. It was the wind, he wasn't wearing his goggles.

Of course. That was it.

Eventually, his target came into view - just on the outskirts of Appaloosa's main road, right by the entrance to the Apple Orchard, were the three large, shining trailers that belonged to his second family - The Wonderbolts.

A yellow mare sat on the steps to the center trailer angrily scanning the sky. She let out an exasperated sigh as a blue streak appeared over the horizon and lept up, flapping her wings rapidly gaining altitude in order to confront the Wonderbolt, her orange mane plastered back by the wind.

Soarin recognised her instantly. This was the LAST thing he needed.

"AND WHERE THE HAY HAVE YOU BEEN?!" Spitfire shouted, catching the Blue Pegasus in mid air and slowing both of them down to a gentle hover. But The look on her face was less than gentle.

"Fleetfoot has been all over this darned town looking for you, because we have a SHOW WE NEED TO PRACTISE FOR, and you decide to soar on over here OUT OF UNIFORM?!"

Soarin' was at a loss for words, his mind was full of turmoil and he couldn't deal with Spitfire right now, it took enough energy on a good day. He hovered slowly down to the earth below, landing and shrugging.

"WHAT IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?!" Spitfire bellowed, grabbing Soarin by the shoulder and turning him to face her.

Soarin' didn't even blink, he was too preoccupied thinking about the apple farmer. He never made eye contact with Spitfire and muttered. "It means I'm here now allright, and I'm ready for the show." He attempted to walk past her into the trailer.

But the yellow pegasus wasn't having any of it. With surprising strength for her slim, subtle stature, she zipped infront of him and stood, face to face with him.

"You were buckin' somepony, AGAIN, weren't you! I've told you about this, Soar!"

Soarin' leaned his head back, images of the stallion from the night before dancing before his eyes. He slammed them shut and shook his head rapidly from side to side. "N-no! I was flying out over the desert looking at the scenery, it was getting dark so I just slept out there..." It was a feeble attempt of an excuse and something he knew she would see straight through. This was just too much to deal with.

The blue pegasus looked at Spitfire's unimpressed face. Her expression said it all, a mixture of total disbelief and just plain disappointment.

She spoke again, this time more calm and much softer.

"It's not good for you, Soar. One of these days you're gonna end up hurting somepony who's dumb enough to fall for you."

The words fell on Soarin's ears heavily. And they hurt. They really hurt.

"Look, Spitfire." he spoke, trying his best to sound defensive and innocent, "What I get up to outside of work is nopony's business, alright? Just leave me to it. I turn up to work, I get the job done, so what's the buckin' problem?!"

Spitfire just scowled, frowning at her colleague as he turned away and let out a long, frustrated groan. She didn't react when he span around and slammed a hoof into the wall of the trailer.

"Luna's sake, just get out of my way and leave me alone, okay?!" he yelled, and the yellow mare closed her eyes and shook her head.

"It's only because I care, Soar. I don't wanna see nopony get hurt." she said, with the tone of a disappointed school teacher.

Soarin just stared at her as she stepped to the side, letting him pass. Now he felt even worse - not only had he made himself look like a total ass in front of Braeburn, he had lost his temper and made Spitfire feel awful too.

"Ugh... I'm... I'm sorry." he said, quietly, as he walked past her and up the steps to his trailer, "You... You didn't deserve that."

She stayed quiet, not looking at him. As he turned away and pushed the door open she spoke.

"I didn't deserve a lot of things, Soar. A LOT of things."

With that, she flapped out her wings and took off, heading towards the main center of town.

Soarin bowed his head and sighed. He knew EXACTLY what that meant.
With another sigh he trotted into his trailer and closed the door. Still leaning against it, he glanced around the dim, shady single room and sniffed.

It was small enough for him, with a bed that neither fitted just one pony or two comfortably. A wetroom stood behind a partition, and a large window hung over the headboard, covered by thick, light blocking blinds. It gave the warm, yellow air of appleoosa a cool, blue feel. Perfect for sorting Soarin's head out.

He took a single step over to the bed and lay down, hooves behind his head and staring at the ceiling. Once again, his mind decided to step in.

"You've really gone and bucked this up. You've got a wonderful guy pining after you, who you completely blew off, and now Spitfire's pissed at you because you can't keep it in your flightsuit. Good goin', Soar. Nice work."

He groaned and closed his eyes. Maybe sleep would help him think clearer once he woke.

As he drifted, he thought on Spitfire's last words to him.

"I didn't deserve a lot of things..." he mouthed to himself, as he fell asleep.

******************************************************

Spitfire screamed out, her mouth smiling widely and her eyes closed as she came, running a hoof through her relaxed, unstyled mane. Soarin buried his muzzle into her plump, plush chest and gasped, his hooves grasping her shoulders tightly as he too tipped over the edge.
The two of them flopped, panting and sweating back onto the bed. Soarin lay on his back, Spifire still on top of him, brushing his neck with tender butterfly kisses.

"Well..." he managed between pants, a stupid grin on his face, "I guess... That's... A pretty good way to celebrate our first show..."

The yellow mare giggled slightly, pulling her muzzle away from his neck and kissing him gently on the lips.

"I thought so..." she said, sitting up, still straddling him. "You were awesome... We shoulda done this YEARS ago."

The blue pegasus chuckled and stroked his hooves down her sides, all the way to her thighs.

"Doesn't this... Doesn't this feel weird like, at all?" he asked, looking up at her.

She put her hooves in front of her, resting them on Soarin's stomach, and tilted her head slightly.

"Why would it?" she asked, coyly.

"Because... Y'know..." Soarin said, "You and me have known each other for so long and... Well, i thought maybe it... Might have got a little weird."

The yellow pegasus raised and eyebrow and rolled off her partner, lying on her back next to him. She didn't understand what was going on - the show had gone great, the agent had approached them and had them sign the contract, they'd gone for a few drinks to celebrate, everything had gone fine. But now, Soarin was getting worked up... Convenient how it was right after they had just bucked each other.

"Well... Is it weird for you?" she asked, lying on her side and stroking a hoof over her partner's muscular chest, trying to calm him down.

"No... Well... No it's..." he said, pulling away from her touch and sitting up, "I feel... I..." he sighed, and bowed his head, "Okay. Yeah, I feel... Weird."

Spitfire lay there, gazing at him. She admired his body, his wings that were only just losing their stiffness, his toned, muscular back... And then his words hit her.

"Oh... O-okay..." she said, quietly, shuffling over onto her back again.

"I-it's not you... Don't worry..." the Blue pegasus said leaning over to her and placing a hoof on her shoulder, "I still want to be with you it's just... I don't think I can I..."

Spitfire interrupted - "No, no, it's fine... I... I understand. We've known each other for... Well, pretty much all our lives... I get you, honest..."

Soarin didnt get any of the clear disappointment in her voice.

"It's just... Maybe we should forget this happened?" he said. Immediately, he felt awful for saying it.

Spitfire just lay there. He was right, really... They were close friends and they DID work together... But still...

"I'm just not ready for a relationship, that's -" Soarin began, but was cut off by Spitfire again.

"No. I get you. It's fine." she said, turning away from the blue pegasus and resting her head on the pillow, "Its fine. Honest."

Soarin heard it that time.

"... i'm sorry, I..."

He was cut off by the yellow pegasus swivelling round, practically throwing the covers off the bed and jabbing a hoof in his face.

"Y'know you've got some nerve, Soar! I honestly thought you wanted something out of this!"

Soarin started and stared at her, noticing the tears forming at the corners of her eyes.

"We had a great time out there today! Months of hard work and we finally made it! We finally get our names out there and get signed on, but that's not good enough for you is it?!" she yelled, a singular tear running down her cheek, "We MADE it, Soar! And you've gone and bucked this all up!"

The blue pegasus opened his mouth to speak.

"No!" Spitfire cut him off again, turning away and sitting, cross legged on the edge of the bed. "Because you couldn't keep it in your damn flightsuit AND I'M BUCKING STUPID ENOUGH to think you ACTUALLY WANTED ME..."

"Spitfire, please!" Soarin said, leaning across and putting his hooves on her shaking shoulders, "It's not that, I just... I don't want to ruin what we have at the moment, that's..."

"Just stop..." Spitfire hushed, her voice low and shaky, "You're nothing like I thought you were... You get my hopes up and then you dash them all over the floor... I can't look at you..."

She pushed his hooves off her shoulders.

"I'm going. I don't want this to get any worse." she said, the anger and tears still thick in her voice, "As stupid as I am I still care about you... Just... Remember that you're gonna hurt somepony someday..."

Soarin blinked.

"And that somepony's gonna be somepony you will NEVER get back..." she said, getting to her hooves and grabbing her flightsuit from the floor, before shoving the door to the trailer open and storming outside.

The blue pegasus sat, staring after her. He felt like shit - his chest hurt, and the hot, prickly sting of tears from behind his eyes was building up to more than he could handle.

He ripped his eyes away from the quickly dissappearing mare in the darkness, and slumped onto the bed, her last words ringing through his brain.

"... I promise." he whispered to nopony in particular, "I'm never going to hurt anypony again... Not like this..."

*********************************

Soarin opened his eyes. He looked around the dim, cool, blue trailer and sighed.

"Some promise..." he muttered.