I'm a what now?

by UniqueSKD

Rating: teen
Tags: Princess Celestia, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Twilight Sparkle, Random
Length: 1250

Or alternative title; 'How the conversation between Celestia and Twilight Sparkle after she became an alicorn really went down...'

Featured on 17th of July 2015, Friday. To everyone who has viewed this story and those yet to view it, thank you all from the bottom of my heart. Coca Cola and cookies for everyone!

Shortly after Twilight Sparkle became a princess, Celestia approached her former-unicorn student to explain the situation to her.

Here's how it went down.

Based on a funny Harry Potter parody.

Published 2015-07-16 17:30:02 UTC
Last updated 2015-07-16 17:30:02 UTC

So let me get this straight...

Half an hour after Twilight Sparkle became an alicorn...

Twilight Sparkle was in her bedroom, looking herself over in a large mirror. She stretched out her newly-gained wings, sizing them up and down, left and right, diagonally and horizontally. It hadn't been long since she had to listen to her mentor's song and receiving the wings, and already it just felt so...strange.

"I never thought in all my life that this would happen to me," Twilight said quietly to her reflection. "I would have thought I'd end up becoming a renowned scientist rather than an alicorn."

"Not just any alicorn, either," a gentle voice spoke up behind Twilight, startling her. Spinning around, Twilight gasped as Celestia stood in her bedroom, the back half of her just materializing into existence from the hierarchic alicorn's teleportation spell.

Twilight fell to the floor immediately and bowed her head. "P-P-Princess Celestia!" Twilight stuttered out.

Celestia let out a little giggle. "Now now, Twilight. You've no need to use my title when addressing me anymore. After all, we both share that title now," she said.

Twilight raised her head to look at her mentor, her face bearing a puzzled look. "What do you mean, Celestia?" she asked.

Celestia walked over to the lavender pony and placed a hoof under her chin. "You are a princess now, Twilight," she said gently.

Twilight went wide-eyed at those words. "I'm...I'm a what?"

Celestia chuckled. "I said, you're a princess now, Twilight," the white alicorn repeated.

Twilight blinked a couple of times. "I'm a WHAT?" she asked again. She was sure her hearing was acting up or something. She must have been hearing Celestia wrong. She had to have.

Celestia rolled her eyes, but she kept her smile and her composure. "You, are now a princess, Twilight Sparkle."

Twilight got up from the wooden floor, her eyes kept focused on Celestia. "But...but I can't be. I mean..." Twilight pawed at the floor with her hoof. "I'm just Twilight."

Celestia shook her head. "No. Now you will be Princess Twilight from this day onward, my prized pupil," she said proudly.

Twilight brought a hoof to her head. Celestia had only said a few words, but they were spoken like a tediously long essay, it felt like so much to take in at once. "I'm...I'm now a princess?" Twilight said, still unable to believe what her mentor had said.

Celestia felt herself suddenly feeling more relaxed, relieved even, upon hearing the pony finally acknowledging her new role in life. "Yes, Twilight. You are now a princess."

Twilight blinked a few times again. Then she shook her head. "But I cant be a princess, Celestia!" she cried.

Celestia looked at Twilight in surprise. "Why not, Twilight? Whatever is the matter?" she asked concerned.

Twilight gestured to herself before answering. "Because I'm just Twilight!" she replied.

Celestia face-hoofed and groaned. "No, Twilight," she said, her voice harboring a hint of anger behind her words now, "you are now Princess Twilight Sparkle, don't you see?"

"I'm a what?" Twilight replied.

Celestia let out an exasperated groan. The first couple of times had been reasonably expected. It wasn't exactly everyday somepony got told they just became a princess after all, but now this was starting to get annoying. "Twilight! For the love of Lauren Faust! YOU, are now, a PRINCESS!" Celestia said loudly and crossly.

"But I can't be a princess, Celestia! I'm just plain old Twilight!"

Celestia double face-hoofed. Now the little lavender bugger was starting to irritate her. "Oh, sweet Hasbro give me strength..." Celestia brought her face closer to Twilight's, and put on the most serious-looking expression she could muster. "Twilight, listen to me! You. Are. A. Princess. Now. You've got your wings. You've got your horn. You're a 100% alicorn. Tomorrow you'll get a crown and a nice lovely dress, and you'll have your coronation before all of Equestria, you and your friends will sing a song, and you'll fly off into the distance as the closing credits roll, capiche?"

Twilight frowned angrily and squared right up to Celestia, pushing her nose against the white alicorn's own. Celestia's annoyed expression quickly changed to one of surprise. Of all the beings to stand up to her on this occasion she never thought it would be her own protege, and for no reason other than over the title of princess-hood? "Listen to me, Celestia, you cake scoffing lard! I'm not a bloody princess!" Twilight growled at her friendship teacher. The lavender mare looked serious and defiant, her wings flared out aggressively.

Celestia backed away a couple of steps, looking at Twilight in bewilderment. "Twilight, for the love of all the life in Equestria and beyond, this is NOT negotiable, you understand? You ARE a bloody princess now, okay? You don't get an undo spell, this isn't how it works!" Celestia paused for a moment before adding, "and if you ever speak to me like that again I swear on my sister's name I will kick you through that window," she pointed a hoof to the night sky outside, "and send you all the way to the damn moon," she finished with a scowl.

Twilight stomped on the floor in anger. "But I'm NOT a princess, I'm just Twilight!" she yelled.

Celestia felt something in her mind very dangerously beginning to slip from her self-control. "Twilight," she said in a quiet but dark tone of voice, "This is the last time I'm telling you this. You. Are. A. Princess. Now. Okay? Tomorrow you'll come to Canterlot, you'll get introduced to all of Equestria, you'll learn how to use your new princess abilities and then fight a giant monkey-horse demon to get a big castle, alright?"

Twilight stared blankly at Celestia.

Celestia glared at Twilight, her eyes narrowed.

Twilight cocked her head to the side.

Celestia raised an eyebrow.

Twilight tapped her hoof against her chin in deep thought. Celestia felt her frustration easing off. Had the plain and simple message finally gotten through to her student?

"So let me get this straight then, Celestia..."

Oh just fuck it. Celestia's horn began to glow as she started up her teleportation spell. Another second longer in this bedroom and she was going to do something she'd probably regret afterwards. "Just come to the damn castle tomorrow, Twilight," Celestia grunted through clenched teeth, her right eye twitching wildly as she began to materialize away back to Canterlot castle.

Twilight stared at the spot where the princess had been for a few moments, before the squeaking sound of her bedroom door alerted her. Turning her head, she saw Spike peeking into her room, a look of curiosity on his face.

"Hey, Twilight. What was that just now?" the baby dragon asked.

Twilight spun around and beamed at her little assistant with glee. "Celestia came by to tell me I'm not just an alicorn now, I'm also a princess too! Isn't that great!" Twilight squealed with excitement. She began bouncing up and down like a little school filly. "Ohmygosh ohmygosh ohmygosh! I'm going to be a princess now!" Twilight squeaked giddily.

Far, far off in the distance, a loud exasperated roar boomed from the balconies of Canterlot castle. "Oh, NOW she fucking gets it!"

Author's Note

I have no idea what I wrote. I have no regrets about it though.