expressing your inner Chaos
She couldn’t hold it in anymore. Ever since she had blown up at Rarity and Pinkie she had held back every negative emotion she felt towards anyone. She never wanted to treat her friends like that again, and so she withheld every negative emotion in a vain attempt to prevent it. In her favor she had done admirably well only slipping up a few times and those not nearly as bad. Now she felt as though she was about to explode from all the negative energy she had built up, Tree Hugger said her vibe was stressed.
Yet she didn’t feel like she could let it out. What if she yelled at her friends again? They might not forgive her this time, they might not want to be her friend anymore. She might make them all leave her. Fluttershy knew she had to let it out somehow but she just wasn’t sure how to go about doing it.
Her head shot up as she heard a knock upon the door. Who was that? She didn’t remember inviting anyone.
“Fluttershy I'm here for our weekly tea!”
Oh! Discord! She had completely forgotten about him. She flew over to the door, took a deep breath in an attempt to calm herself, and opened it.
“Fluttershy i simply couldn’t wait for our tea time. i do so apologize for my behavior at the gala please accept these flowers.”
Fluttershy frowned. “Discord those are Venus fly traps.”
“Oh are they? Of course you want something prettier.” Discord snapped his tail and handed Fluttershy the new bouquet.
“Um, thank you Discord just let me put them in water.”
She flew to the kitchen and filled a vase with water, taking deep breaths a little too fast to calm herself. She wasn’t sure she could deal with Discord’s antics today. She also wasn’t sure what to do with a bunch of morning glory but that was the least of her problems. She sighed. She couldn’t leave discord waiting.
“Sorry that took so long-Discord!”
Discord was using angel as a back scratcher, much to the bunny’s dismay. Fluttershy sighed, at least Discord had the decency to look ashamed.
“Fluttershy are you alright? You seem stressed.”
“I’m fine.”
Discord snaked himself around her, brushing his claw under her chin. “Now Fluttershy I thought we were friends.”
“We are.”
“And friends don’t keep secrets from each other right?”
“Well not usually, but-”
“Then tell me what is wrong? I’m your friend and I insist you tell me.”
Fluttershy thought for a moment considering the situation, it was true friends didn’t often keep secrets and she did feel like she needed the help. Would it really hurt to confide in discord?
“I haven’t been feeling like myself lately. I just feel like something is dragging me down. like there’s something new inside me.”
His head snaking around to Fluttershy’s ear he whispered. “You’re lying.”
Fluttershy was ,understandably, upset after all here she was confiding in Discord and he had the gall to say she was lying! “I’m not lying!”
“Oh don’t fool yourself Fluttershy. I admit it’s more like withholding the full truth than lying, but you are lying and not just to me your lying to yourself as well.”
She frowned lying to herself? What did he mean by that? She wasn’t lying to herself was she?
“You keep saying you ‘don’t feel like yourself, like there’s something new inside me’ Fluttershy these feelings are not new. This has always been a part of you. Something you’ve refused to acknowledge.”
“That’s not true!”
Discord shrunk himself allowing him to slide into her ear. To F luttershy it felt almost as though his voice was in her head, and indeed that was the intention. Discord wanted her to think of his words as her own thoughts. He was after all voicing the thoughts she herself had harbored in the back of her own mind, thoughts she didn’t want to think about, thoughts she’d rather pretend were not hers.
“Isn’t it? Are you sure you haven’t been thinking. ‘If i don’t acknowledge them they’ll go away?’ because that is what it seems like to me. Like you’re hiding from yourself.”
“I-I’m not…” She whispered unsure.
“You are ‘I don’t want to hurt my friends,’ you say . ‘We’re good friends of course we have a few disagreements, that’s normal.’ You even go as far as, ‘I don’t need to be angry they’re probably right.’ anything to avoid admitting you aren’t as kind as you think you should be.
“I-I.”
“You’re scared of so many things. The anger you feel, the guilt you feel because you get angry, The effects that anger might have on your friendships. More than that you’re afraid of admitting you have those feelings.”
“But i’m the element of kindness, i’m expected to be kind.”
Discord got out of her ear and held her. “You are the kindest creature I've ever met, besides, those other ponies, but let’s not talk about them they give me nightmares.”
“But if i’m so kind than why do i feel this way?”
Discord cupped her chin tilting her face up. “Fluttershy its alright to feel angry sometimes. Everyone feels anger sometimes, and that doesn't make them any less kind. Tell me who became friends with me when nopony else would.”
“I did.”
“Who insisted i get the benefit of the doubt when those thorns attacked Ponyville?”
“I did…"
“Who forgave me for acting like a petulant child at he grand galloping gala?”
“I did.”
“Who never for one second doubted my loyalty when everyone else did? Who forgave me even after I betrayed that trust and nearly helped destroy all of Equestria!”
“I did!”
“You see Fluttershy it’s alright to be angry sometimes, you’re still the kind, gentle pony you’ve always been. What’s important is not the anger itself but how we deal with it.”
Fluttershy frowned, “But i don’t know how…”
“Fluttershy my dear you’re doing it again you have to deal with your anger. The worst thing you can do is ignore it and bottle it up until it explodes out of you. That’s not healthy.”
“So what do I do about it?”
“You need to let it out in a way that doesn't harm you or others. Each pony has a different way of doing this. Together i’m sure we can find one that will work for you.”
“Okay… but what?”
“Well…
(montage)
They tried many things, First they tried to let her anger out using a punching bag. The bag swung back and hit Fluttershy, Which just made her more angry. Then they tried using it to help massage other ponies at the spa. She may have been a bit harsh. (She was used to doing it to bears after all.) Then she tried to knead bread dough, the kitchen was a bit of a mess.
“We will find a way Fluttershy.”
“I don’t know… Discord why are you helping me?”
“We’re friends are we not?”
Fluttershy face became serious. “Yes we are but Discord this doesn't seem like the kind of thing you’d do even for your closest friends. so why?”
Discord smirked, at least Fluttershy assumed it was a smirk it was kind of hard to tell with that face…
“My dear Fluttershy, you’re not thinking of it the right way. Now you understand I can read inner chaos right?”
“Is that how you knew what I was feeling earlier today?”
“Of course, even now I can feel the chaos within you growing. Now think of it this way. I am helping you get rid of your inner chaos, thus helping you, but at the same time I’m helping you release your inner chaos into the outside world. This way we all win.”
“Okay,” She took a deep breath. “What now?”
“Well I've been thinking you like to sing, why don’t we try that?”
Fluttershy frowned not quite seeing how singing would help her release her anger.
“Just let your emotions run through you Fluttershy.”
(Insert song here.)
Fluttershy felt great, like a great burden had been released from her. She’d done it. When she’d channeled her anger into singing she had used it constructively.
“I did it!” She said running to Discord and embracing him. “Oh Discord if you hadn’t helped me I might have continued to hold my anger in. I do have to ask. How is singing chaotic?”
“My dear Fluttershy music is one of the most chaotic things on the planet. It can cause happiness, sadness, anger, love, lust, paranoia, nervousness, annoyance, and any other amount of emotions. How each music piece affects each pony is different for each one. Besides,” Discord chuckled. “I might have ulterior motive.”
The two friends laughed.
Dear, Princess Celestia,
Today I learned how to let go of my anger. Sometimes when you think you might hurt your friends you try to hide anything negative about yourself, but holding your emotions in is not the best idea. You should always learn to let your emotions out in a positive way. Discord has taught me that not all chaos is bad. Speaking of Discord he had Spike send a letter too.
Sincerely,
Fluttershy
Celestia smiled at the letter glad Fluttershy had learned an important lesson. Though she did wonder who Discord’s letter went to…
Dearest Luna,
I have successfully done what I planned to do. Fluttershy has accepted her anger, something you have unable to do in years. You know what that means right? You have to play Chaos Poker with me! See you Thursday!
Discord
P.S. The frogs in your bathtub are not my doing.
Author's Note
I've never understood why people think Fluttershy is out of character in putting your hoof down. its a side of her we don't see too often and that's why i think she overreacted. We all say things we don't mean when we're angry and besides if you had all that anger built up wouldn't you explode?
as for Discord he more of a tutor to Fluttershy than comic relief.
