Pinkie Pie hopped through her family's farm gleefully. Behind her followed a burly stone, ready to find companionship if the pink party pony had spoken the truth. According to Pinkie, her sister Maud had just the right rock for Tom. Together the two were going to meet the pony's sister -and hopefully Tom's true love- in the south field.
"Come on Tom, hurry up! We're almost there you big slowpoke" Pinkie said.
Tom silently slid through the dirt. His massive rocky body dug up the ground as he traveled. He saw a lot of handsome pebbles as he traversed the farm, but none of them seemed like the one.
After five minutes of venturing through the Pie Family Farm, they came to a stop.
Pinkie jumped in the air and shouted, "Maud! We're here!"
The party pony's sister slowly walked towards the duo. Tom thought her grey coat was exquisite; it reminded him of stone. However, he was not a rock looking for pony. He was a rock looking for rock.
"Hello Pinkie. Is this Tom?" Maud said. Her voice was almost emotionless. Tom found this pony very alluring, as even her voice reminded him of stone. But alas, he was yet to meet the rock he came to see.
"You know it!" Pinkie cheered. "Hey is Boulder around? I mean he is who we came to see after all."
Maud reached into her pocket, and pulled out a small pebble.
"Here he is." The grey pony said.
Pinkie pushed the small pebble up to the hulking stone. "Tom meet Boulder, Boulder meet Tom. You guys are gonna be the bestest friends! I can see it already!"
Tom looked down at the pebble before him. Boulder, he thought What a magnificent name. The rock before him was definitely incredible. It was most certainly the most exquisite being he'd ever seen. He inched closer to Boulder. Boulder did the same.
"Come on Maud, let's give these two some privacy!" exclaimed Pinkie.
"Good idea," responded Maud.
Thus, the two rocks were alone. They stared wistfully into each others faces, swept away in the others' slate grey complexion. Tom noticed Boulder had a powerful aura about him, despite being small. The large stone brought his gaze across the ragged shape of smaller one's stone body.
Boulder regarded the larger rock in awe, it's hunk of a body making him drool sediment from his rock face. He found Tom's sheer size and rigid toughness attractive. He liked that in a rock.
To break the silence, Tom spoke to Boulder the only way rocks could communicate. Telepathy.
"Hello, Boulder. It's nice to finally meet you." Tom thought.
"The feeling is mutual." Boulder thought back. "You are the most handsome rock I've ever seen."
"Then you are to me, what I am to you." Tom responded.
"You know your way with words Tom. I find that attractive in a stone."
"Thank you Boulder, although I hope that's not all you like about a stone." Tom teased.
"What do you mean?" Boulder thought quizzically.
"Let me show you." Tom then thought of an image of what he planned on doing with Boulder.
"Tom! That's dirty!" Boulder quickly thought back. Secretly though, he liked it.
"Are you thinking to me you wouldn't like it?" Tom telepathically retaliated.
"No..." Boulder was worried he'd disappointed this big hunk of rock.
'Well, I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable." Tom apologized. "I was just curious as to how you'd react."
"No, no. It's quite fine." Boulder thought with haste. "Although," Boulder shot Tom a seductive look, "I suppose we could get a little erocktic."
Tom's diamonds were ready to burst from his figure, "That's a quite igneous idea. Allow me to rock your world."
Tom slid through the dirt towards Boulder, until the bottom of his body was fully on top of Boulder. Then, he scraped his figure back and forth across the small, rugged pebble. The small stone moaned internally in pleasure as his Tom's grains scraped him like sandpaper. The friction of their sediment on each other was unlike anything the tiny rock had ever felt.
Tom felt pleasure himself as he explored Boulder's surface with his own. His inner gemstones tingled with excitement as he ground his rough exterior against the other rock's similarly rough exterior.
"Be careful Tom," Boulder thought while panting telepathically "I don't want to crack."
Tom paid little mind though, he was enjoying this too much. He didn't mind making the smaller stone crack anyway. That only meant that his new pebble love would give birth to his baby rocks. He continued to coarsely grind on top of Boulder in their freakish stone mating ritual, getting closer and closer to stone climax.
"My stones!' Tom cried in thought, "Their going to burst my love!"
"No! You have to last a bit longer." Boulder thought back, "Let's be gentlerocks and let our stones burst together!"
"Okay, I'll do it for you Boulder!"
Trixie approached the south field to get to work rotating the rocks. She had hoped to have been done working on the farm, but even after redeeming herself in Ponyville she didn't get many ponies at her shows. So, the blue unicorn needed to keep working for the Pies to support herself. She froze when she saw a massive rock grinding a pebble.
"What is Trixie witnessing?" She asked, utterly confused by the sight before her.
"True love silly!" Pinkie exclaimed as she appeared from seemingly nowhere. "Although, it does look like their getting a bit steamy."
"Rocks getting steamy? But rocks don't even mate!" Trixie threw her hooves in the air to emphasize her point.
"Are you kidding? Of course they do. They can even talk, look!" The party pony turned towards the still grinding stones. She called out, "Hey guys!"
Not now Pinkie. The rocks thought in unison. Trixie heard their words, and dropped to the ground with her hooves on her head.
"Trixie thinks she needs to reconsider her grasp on reality."
Author's Note
This was a quick one-shot of me venting inner ludicrousness. It isn't serious in any way. It's really just meant to be silly.
Plus, who doesn't love some good TomxBoulder shipping?
