Mare Do Well: Assault on Aurora

by Nova Arc

Rating: teen
Tags: Sex, Human, Twilight Sparkle, Main 6, Gore, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Dark, Alternate Universe, Trixie, Mare Do Well, Adventure, Discord, Crossover
Length: 8692

Mare Do Well has her mission; the Suicide Force has theirs. What happens when the two missions are intertwined?

Luna Walker has invoked Protocol E: Six of the most dangerous criminals in Equestria have been hired to apprehend the Trixie Lulamoon, aka The Puzzler, who is under lock and key in Aurora Asylum. Meanwhile, Twilight Sparkle, aka Mare Do Well, has her own mission: find Discord's dirty bomb before he gets the chance to detonate it. One problem: Discord is also in Aurora Asylum.

Story based on the DC animated movie, Batman: Assault on Arkham.

Published 2015-09-14 20:40:02 UTC
Last updated 2015-10-20 20:59:20 UTC

Target: Puzzler

It was a beautiful night in Canterlot City. People were leaving work, having fun in the local clubs, or just walking down the street, enjoying one of those days without having crazy bad weather. The moon hung over the bay and the shimmer off the water could make one forget the one fact people are constantly reminded of: the city was inhabited by just as many criminals as there were loyal, law-abiding citizens.

"What is the beginning of eternity, the end of time and space, the beginning of every end and the end of every race?" Trixie Lulamoon, more commonly known as The Puzzler, was a notorious criminal with a sense of theatricality. She always made her schemes, entrances, and even her speeches as elaborate as possible. She was sitting at a desk in front of a large computer screen in a warehouse on the docks. She was in her usual attire: a pale blue shirt, light purple pants suit, and black loafers. Her blue-tinted white hair flowed down her back from under her purple wizard hat with star motifs and a cape with a similar design hung on the back of her her chair. Next to her was a cane with a star in the arc of a crescent moon as the top.

Tonight, she did one of the things she did best and loved to do: taunt her opponents. "It hurts, huh? When the answer is on the tip of your tongue, but you just can't get it off?" However, this was starting to wear on the person on the screen she was talking to. She wore a dark blue shirt, a black suit, and a scowl, which even bangs off her long dark blue hair on the side of her face could not hide.

"..."

"The answer? The Letter "E"." Luna was getting impatient as Puzzler chuckled to herself. "Okay, okay, here's an easy one. What won't run long without winding?"

"..."

"No? A river."

"What do you want, Trixie?"

"Indeed, a good question. But now, Trixie is in charge, so for now, she'll ask the questions. Try this one. When is a man drowned, but he's still not wet?"

"... When he's trapped in quicksand."

Puzzler was about to make a snarky remark, but stopped once she realized Luna was actually correct. "... Oh... You've heard that one already? I must be running out of lines"

"No. I have the gift of the internet, like the rest of the world. And I use it for more important things than wasting people's time."

Trixie leaned back in her chair and frowned. "I knew you could be a stick in the mud, Luna, but why must you treat Trixie like this?"

"Oh, that's quite simply, really. I just needed to keep you babbling on long enough for my strike team to pinpoint your location."

"Your... My... Wait, what?" There was an explosion behind Trixie as the cieling was blown off and armed soldiers rappelled into the room, guns aimed at Puzzler, who stood up and put her hands on her head. "Oh... That strike team..."

A few soldiers approached her and held her. "Take her out," said Luna. "And make it painful," she added with a grin.

With that, one of the soldiers grabbed Puzzler and slammed her head against the table. Although she was caught and her head now hurt like crazy, Puzzler still laughed and said, "Puzzle me this: why didn't Trixie quit while she was ahead?" And once she was done, as if scripted, the lights went out.

"What the hell?" said one of the soldiers. "Everyone, switch to night vision." The soldiers put the NV goggles over their eyes and switched them on, changing their view to one of black and green. They scanned the area, looking for the source of the blackout. One of them turned around and aimed their gun-mounted flashlight back. He nearly soiled himself. "Oh shit."

"What?" asked another as he turned around, with a similar reaction. Standing behind them, in the middle of the group, was a figure dressed in a purple, lightly armored bodysuit, a black mask that covered it's face with a fairly large purple fedora with a black band, and a jet black cape with a high collar and a split down the middle. On its lower arms were black armored gauntlets with purple fingers, made to look like it was wrapped in wide, thick black tape up to the base of the fingers and matching black boots with a similar look. Around its waist was a black belt with multiple pouches and compartments and on the front was a symbol similar to the one on its chest: a stylized "M".

"Shit! It's Mare Do Well!" With that, the caped vigilante dropped a flash grenade, blinding the soldiers and forcing them to remove their goggles as they engaged the Dark Mare. Guns blazed as they attempted to gun down the vigilante, who skillfully dodged their bullets. She charged at a group and punched two of the soldiers and ducked to dodge and build momentum for a wicked uppercut that sent another flying into his comrade. She ran and kicked off the wall, avoiding the assault and threw a salvo of M-shaped Marerangs, knocking out three guards and disarming one. She landed in front of the disarmed guard as another aimed at her. He saw her cape cover the guard as she grappled a metal beam on the cieling. Looking up, all he saw was the unconscious soldier hanging from his feet. Changing his angle, he was greeted by the view of what looked like a winged shadow of a Mare Do Well, descending rapidly towards him.

Luna felt as if the universe was just trying to annoy her. First, she had to deal with Puzzler, then Mare Do Well decided to drop by, and now, as per the norm following the vigilane's arrival, she was loosing all her audio and video feeds.

"Dammit, Twilight," she said as her final screen went black.

Mare had dealt with the last of the group and was headed for the three holding Puzzler. "Save me, Mare Do Well," she said, with a faux damsel-in-distress voice. Mare Do Well threw two Marerangs to disarm two of the soldiers and hammered the still armed one into the wall with a low double-fisted punch to the stomach, followed by an elbow to the face and a right cross to knock out the second.

The captain tossed Puzzler aside and prepared to fight the Dark Mare. "Sorry, Mares, but I have a job to do."

"So do I." They attacked and parried each other, the soldier actually keeping up with the embodiment of peak physical fitness. Catching her off guard, the soldier delivered a left hook that caused Mare Do Well to stagger, then drew a silver combat knife. They clashed again, apparently equally matched. That is, until Mare Do Well caught him with an elbow to the face. She struck his arm and twisted, making him stab the keyboard. The pain of his arm and fingers being broken coupled with the electric shock knocked him out and he slumped to the side of the desk.

Mare Do Well, looked around for Puzzler, who was, quite pathetically, attempting to escape through an air vent. But the
Dark Mare wasn't having none of it! She dragged Puzzler out of the vent by the hem of her skirt and pinned her to a wall. "WHERE IS IT?!" she asked in an agitated tone.

"Come, now, Mare Do Well. I've had a rough night, as you can imagine," she said, not bothered that the same person had put another psychotic villain in a body cast for six months when he refused to give her answers after asking once. "Was the wedgie necessary?"

"I know you helped him hide it. Where is it, Puzzler?!"

Luna was deaf and blind. For all she knows, the Puzzler could have escaped and her men are all hanging from the cieling. But she knew that even if Puzzler did escape, The Dark Mare would have him in a matter of minutes.

She needed what Puzzler stole back and she wants her dead for having it in the first place, but she couldn't have Mare Do Well or anyone else getting involved. So, she pulled her trump card; her last resort. She pressed a button on the intercom. "People? We are at Alert Level "Infrared". Assemble Task Force E. We have another suicide mission."

Author's Note

Here it is! The beginning of Assault on Aurora! Hope you guys enjoy it, cause there's more on the way. So stay tuned, stay awesome, and remember: Reality is an illusion, the universe is a hologram, buy gold! Bye!:pinkiecrazy:

Assemble, Suicide Force

Downtown Manehattan

Two masked men sat in a black car outside Manehattan Central Bank, waiting for their partner, who was actually in a jewelry store directly opposite. "So why did we park here, again?" asked one.

"Because, she doesn't want the cops to find her easily," replied the second. "The time it'll take for them to come out after realizing she isn't there is enough time for her to get out with to gems."

"I see. So that's why she still had to attack the bank. They would send the alert first and she could easily hit the jewelry store while everyone was distracted."

"Exactly."

Meanwhile, inside, Rarity Belle, AKA, Crystal Cold, was helping herself to a box of diamonds while her crystallized victims could all but stare at the beautiful young Ice Queen dressed in a white leotard with purple hemming and accents that exposed her legs and arms with three blue diamonds on the right hip and back and a big one on the chest, as well as three at the elbow of her white, fur-hemmed detached sleeves and one on the back of her fingerless gloves. Her curly purple hair was elegant with a white streak that appeared after she got her powers and her matching boots, all tied up with her to-die-for curves, made her look more like a model than a homocidal, metahuman criminal. She emptied the last box of rubies into her bag and headed out, waving at her victims encased in purple crystals as she past them by. Soon, she heard the alarm. "That's my cue. Tata! A lady knows when to make her exit!"

However, as she stepped outside, she saw her getaway car drive off. "Dammit! Worthless cowards!" She looked in the opposite direction and saw a cluster of police cars barricading the street, all officers aiming their guns at her. "Fine. Looks like I'll have to get my hands dirty. And I just got this pedicure!" She walked onto the road to face the police. A cold, blue aura surrounded her hands.

"You're cut off with nowhere to go," one officer shouted through a megaphone. "Surrenders, now! Drop the bag and put your hands in the air!"

Crystal sighed. "Fine." She dropped the bag and said, "But we never agreed to the terms of my surrender. Peaceful... Or lethal?" She raised her hands as police fired on her and engaged the officers.

------------------------------

Rodeo Motel, 7 Miles south of Baltimare

The swat team made their way up the stairs of the motel and lined up on both sides of the door. Snipers laid on the rooftops of the other end of the building and aimed at the door and windows. "Vision check, you are clear to enter." With that, one kicked down the door. All reared back and the sight and smell of dead bodies and rotting flesh. The floor was covered in a thick layer of blood that made the wish it was a water leakage and the pipe were carrying Rosé. On the bed of the room was a pile of gems, most of which had what looked like large bites had been taken out of them.

"Damn," said an officer. "This guy really is insane."

"What did you expect," said another. "He's not even 100% human!" Then, they heard gurgling and sloshing. They turned to face the bathroom, which also had its white tiled floor stained with red. From behind the shower curtain of the tub, they saw a massive figure, at least 8 or so feet tall with a massive tail swinging behind it. It had a spikey Mohawk, thick muscles, and it was drenched in blood to the point where they couldn't even see what color it actually was.

"Oh shit."

Outside, the snipers heard nothing. They began to relax, but focused again when several officers came crashing out of the walls of the room, followed closely by the terror they new as Spike Drake, AKA, Spikezilla, the Dragon King.

------------------------------

Neighcourt Highrise, New Colt City

Jet Set got away with most everything. He was rich, up to speed on everything, and had an army of lawyers who knew how to find loopholes in the law (and the cost of judges and juries). He was sitting in his apartment in his cream-colored bath robe reading a newspaper and smiling at the headline: "MOB BOSS IS RELEASED ON B1,000,000,000 BAIL!"

"Hehe. These idiots are good for business. Maybe I'll keep them around a while." He set down his paper and walked into the connected kitchen to grab a glass of Rosé. As he poured the wine, though, he heard what sounded like breaking glass. He looked behind him, only to see the wonderful view of the lively, lit city his many drug deals had bought him. He smiled. "Old boy," he said to himself, "You're getting paranoid. Nothing in this city can touch you!"

"That's what you think." Jet Set turned sharply. In front of him was a masked individual hanging upside down in front of him. It's mask was black with a purple breather-like mouth with three holes and yellow eyes. The rest of its suit was also purple with black and yellow highlights and accents, most of which had a lightning-bolt-like design. The boots were black with purple lightning bolts and the gloves were purple with black on top side of the lower arm and fingers and metal plates on top of the hands.

Jet Set only had time to gasp as Shadowbolt slit his throat. He collapsed, glass still in hand, and the blood gushing from his throat mixed with the wine as they spread across the carpet. Shadowbolt took a moment to examine her work and make sure he was dead, then darted for the window. She crashed through and clung to the glass using her nano-tech gloves. As she climed, however, a light was shone on her from a group of patrol helicopters. She looked up and saw a line of soldiers aiming at her from the rooftop. She looked down and saw an armada of police cars. She was screwed.

As she was shoved into the police car, her mask was removed, revealing the yellow-haired, golden-eyed young woman known as Lightning Dust underneath. "Well, at least I completed the job," she said with a grin as she was driven off to her new home... In a cell in Manegate Prison.

------------------------------

Manegate Prison

Rainbow Dash was both famous and infamous amongst her fellow inmates. Everyone wanted to be on her team, but just as many wanted her dead. Why? A number of reasons: she had screwed them over, inside and out of prison, she had robbed them, she had helped a rival fan beat another gang, and many, MANY, more reasons. She was as good and ally as she was an enemy. She was cunning, she was adaptive, and, her pride, she was fast as hell.

"So, you gonna watch the game tonight?" one inmate asked her as they made their way through the courtyard for recreation.

"Maybe," she replied, swinging her rainbow hair back and forth as she walked, maintaining its rough, unkempt look. She was also watching her surroundings and noticed that three other inmates were tailing her. "Y'know, there could be trouble, Saorin. Sure you wanna stick around?"

"I won't get involved," he replied. "But who else is gonna talk to the warden to not extend your penalty?"

"Then duck." He obeyed and a knife whizzed over his head. The arm holding it was caught and Rainbow flipped the inmate, twisted his arm, and punched his lights out. Another came from behind holding a metal bar and aimed a swing at her head. She ducked and kicked him away as another arrived with a chain. She caught the chain and pulled his face down to her knee, knocking him out. She looked up and saw the last one running. She picked up the metal bar he dropped and threw it. It spun in the air, took a bounce off the wall next to him, the wall by the entrance to the prison hall, and knocked him on the head, knocking him out, after which it landed in a bucket of baseball bats. That was her other pride; the skill that earned her the name, Ricochette.

------------------------------

Unknown Location

Starlight Glimmer was an extremist who served her country with such a burning passion that her dedication alone made her name, Star Crisher, feared. She was, at the moment, preparing for her next one. As she got on her motorcycle, her objectives ran through her head: "Get inside, blow up base, get out."

The light in the plane turned green and the hatch opened. She drove out and plummeted down to the ground below, preparing to be met by heavy resistance. She released parachute and was immediately saluted with gunfire. Once she was a safe distance, she cut the parachute and hit the gas. Once she landed, she shot off. As bullets wiphizzed passed her, she remained unfazed. She. Tapped a button on her bike and jumped off. The bike broke apart and rockets appeared to propel it towards the gate. The bike-turned-rocket blew up the security stations and quite a few cameras. She charged at the gate, armed with a wrist-mounted cannon that appeared like a tuning fork with a pale green glow and electricity arcing through it. She fired and gunned down several enemy assailants and blew up several bunkers and towers and generally trashed the military base.

However, she was effortlessly overpowered when a rocket went off behind her and knocked her into a car. She turned and was surrounded, but stil, insisted on shooting a few more before she was finally disarmed by a bullet to her cannon. She surrendered, happy that she had trashed the base, but furious that she had been captured in the first place.

------------------------------

Psychiatric Ward, Canterlot General Hospital

When Pinkamena Pieper wasn't helping her "boyfriend" or torturing victims, or making cupcakes, she was pretty much like any over young woman her age. Sure, she loved cartoons, but then again, who doesn't? She sat in the waiting lounge, awaiting her turn to be called into the doctor's office for her weekly checkup. Soon, she got bored and pulled out a tablet from her poofy pink hair and opened an episode of My Little Pony, which she found funny, not only due to the antics, but also to how similar the names in the show were to those of people she had actually met.

She laughed as a pink pony used a rather big cannon to decorate an entire room in a single shot! Then, the screen left her view. She looked up to see the red-haired nurse holding her tablet. "You know the rules," she said. "No electronics without supervision." Pinkamena didn't like that. Only one person got to boss her around and even he didn't have that right anymore. She got mad.

A few seconds later, the nurse ran out of the room, holding the side of her head. Meanwhile, Pinkamena spat out the chunk of hair, which had a dripping patch of bleeding skin, in her mouth. Apparently, that nurse was new or oblivious or she would have never messed with Pinkie Pie.

------------------------------

Terminus Island Penitentiary

Jacqueline "Applejack" Apple, commonly known as Buckshot, laid in her cell, reading an old book she had received as a gift called, "Sister, Missing". She had already read the prequel and received this as a gift. It helped remind her of how much she missed her sister. It also helped quell the boredom. But so did the clanging of the big metal door leading to her prison hall. "Well, it's time," she said to herself. She sat up and brushed a mop of blonde hair out of her green eyes, reached under hair brown Stetson hat, and pulled out a picture of her and her little sister, Applebloom.

"It's time, Apple."

Soon, she was being escorted by a doctor and a pair of soldiers in fairly tough armor and masks that made them look like they had three eyes, with one on their forehead, to who-knows-where. The thing is, she didn't plan on sticking around to find out where they were taking her. She sneezed, or so they thought, and pulled a paperclip from her mouth. She lowered her hands and worked on the cuffs and in a few seconds, her patience had paid off.

She swung her hand at one of the guards, knocking him against the wall. The other aimed to hit her, but she kicked him back and hammered the other's head into the wall with an earth-shattering punch to the face. The second pulled out his pistol as she turned. She tapped the side, causing the cartridge to fall out and pulled the slide out, popping the one in the chamber and rendering the gun useless. She caught the bullet and flung the slide at the other guard, who was trying to get up, with so much force, it broke through the lense guarding his left eye. As he slumped, dead, Applejack finished the other with a jab to his neck and a drop-kick into the opposite wall. She looked up and grinned at the frightened doctor, who backed away.

She walked away, staring at the picture of her and her sister, but was soon stopped in her tracks as she felt a pinching sensation in her back. She turned around to see that now the doctor was grinning. She pulled the syringe from her back, but collapsed to the floor soon after, staring as the picture she treasured floated to the ground in front of her. She couldn't move. Soon, she couldn't see.

Author's Note

Now, you've met the Suicide Force! Things are about to go down! Hope your enjoying reading this as much as I am writing it so far, 'cause there's more to come!

Now, as I mentioned in a recent blog post, I'm gonna be doing special riddles that'll give you chances to earn prizes (invisible snacks, imaginary gifts, and even a chance to add your own spark to one of my stories!). Also know that I'll be mixing it up; some may be from the riddler, but quite a few will be off the top of my head, so don't go relying on Goolge to solve your problems like Waller did. She got lucky. So, first one:

There are three men on a boat with four cigarettes and no matches. How do they smoke? (Prize: imaginary double chocolate chip cookies!)

For the answer, stay tuned, stay awesome, and remember: Reality is an illusion. The universe is a hologram. Buy gold! BYE!:pinkiecrazy:

Also, where did all these downvotes come from?:rainbowhuh: Seriously, there weren't there until the second night of publishing. Literally! Why? Seriously, I'd like to know what I did wrong so if I can fix it, I will.

Debriefing

Buckshot groaned as she opened her eyes, her head pounding as if her brain was trying to punch its way out of her skull. She found herself in an empty white room... well, empty save for the other people there with her. She got up and looked down, realizing she was wearing her brown and black armored bodysuit with a belt with three apples embedded in the buckle, black boots, and brown gloves. Her hair was tied into its usual ponytail with a red ribbon and her hat lay on the floor next to her. As she picked it up, she identified most of the others.

"Damn." Buckshot turned to see a young woman in a blue and white flight jacket with a cloud and a rainbow lightning bolt on the back, black shirt with a similar design across it, dark blue khakis, and black boots with blue and white wing patterns on the side. She wore black fingerless gloves and a white scarf that almost looked like wings the way she wore it. Her rainbow hair was worn back and a pair of brown flight goggles hung round he neck. "I've got the hangover but I don't remember partying this hard." She looked up and saw Buckshot. "Applejack?" Then noticed her clothes and tried to hide a blush. "Do I even want to know how I got into these?"

"Hot crap!" Ricochette and Buckshot turned to face a young woman in a pink tank top with a white smiley face, pink and white capris, and pink boots. Her capris were adorned with various designs that looked like they had been cut from something and stitched on with wings on either side of each mark, but on the right side, there was a trio of red, blue, and yellow balloons, the strings weaved between the marks on its left and right. A similar mark adorned her right hip, but only the top of the balloon were barely visible. She wore pink and yellow arm warmers that fit like fingerless gloves at her hands and similar stockings. Her poofy pink hair reached her waist and was tied in a loose ponytail. "Not this again." She laid back down, groaning.

"It's like déjà vu or some horrible, recurring nightmare."

"Yeah," Buckshot responded. "Looks like we got rookies this time." Ricochette then noticed the other people in the room.

"Who are you losers?" asked Shadowbolt as she noticed the others in the room. "And where are we?"

"Who cares," said Dragon King. He was in a green shirt with black armored shoulder guards, purple khakis that blended with his purple scales, and black boots. A black steel muzzle covered his face from the nose-down, which was meant to prevent him from doing what he tried next. "No chains, no wall, no guards. No gems either. Guess it's meat, then." He looked down and noticed Crystal Cold laying in front of him with her hands locked in a metal box. He grabbed her leg and dragged her. She kicked and squirmed under his grasp. Once she was close, she planted a painful kick between his legs, causing him to let go. She got up and added the momentum to her swing, bashing her metal-encased hands into his jaw. As he hit the ground, Crystal jumped onto his chest and placed the metal restraints against his neck in a guillotine fashion.

"Try it," she said, "And I'll make the most expensive shoe-bag-coat collection in history!"

Dragon smiled, not that it was very visible under the muzzle, but fairly obvious from the tone of his voice and facial expression. "I like feisty." Crystal couldn't help but grin back.

Suddenly, there was a loud banging that echoed through the room, rattling everyone's eardrums. They all turned to see Star Crusher trying to punch her way out of the room, her hand leaving a dent in the wall. "GAH! This is a load of crap! I'm leaving!"

"Not unless I say so." All turned to see a woman in a black shirt, dark purple skirt suit, and black loafers. Her wavy midnight-purple hair flowed behind her, with bangs covering most of the left side of her face. "And don't damage my wall or I will use your bones to make a plaster to cover it up. Now sit."

Most of them did so, but Buckshot and Ricochette just leaned against the wall. "What's this about, Luna?" asked Buckshot.

"As most of you may know, Task Force E is an off-the-books government program that gives convicts like you, with multiple life sentences and no hope for parole, let alone getting out, to actually make good use of their life and skills. Operatives are sent in as expendable agents to perform dangerous, usually covert missions with a less than 10% survival rate and the numbers only went up last Friday."

"Hence the term, The Suicide Force," Ricochette pointed out, matter-of-factly.

"Cut to the chase, Luna," said Buckshot. "What hell did you decide to make us go through this time?"

Luna paused for dramatic effect. "You're going to break into the Aurora Asylum."

For a moment, there was silence, but as soon as it clicked...

"Oh, hell no!"

"You're flippin' nuts!"

"Screw that!"

"I don't do creepy."

"KUMQUAT!!!"

Once the commotion started to die down, Ricochette spoke up. "Okay, let me get this straight. Aurora Asylum, the most impenetrable, inescapable prison on the planet, that holds every loon, nutcase, criminal, genius and otherwise, and psychopath in this city and others, all of which want out; the same prison people have been trying to bust out of for decades; that's where you want us to break into?"

"Is that a problem?" asked Luna.

Ricochette thought for a while. "Meh. Time out AND time off my sentence? By all means, call me if you need someone to break into Tartarus. Besides, there's nothing I can't break into."

"No kidding," said Buckshot, mockingly.

Luna waved her hand in front of her and a holographic computer screen appeared in front of her. On it was the picture and information of the criminal they all recognized as The Puzzler. "A few weeks ago, under my employment, The Puzzler stole important information from me while on a job: files containing information on every past, present, and potential future member of the Suicide Force." Next pictures of the seven in the room with information on each of them appeared on the screen.

"Am guessing that includes us," said Buckshot, noticing the picture of her sister under her own image. Next, the screen scrolled down, revealing a number of other members of the Force.

"Precisely. She's threatening to leak it onto the internet, to the press, the tabloids; anything that'll make it global news."

"And you want us to steal it back. Where is it now?"

"In a flash drive on her staff," Luna said as the image showed the star being removed from the middle of the moon adorning the top of the staff. "Which is currently being kept under lock and key in the forbidden items room under the facility."

"Right below the intensive care facility next to the kitchen," said Pinkie. "I can still smell the cupcakes... Good times. Wonder if Gator misses my baking..."

"Why all the rookies?" asked Ricochette.

"Do I look like I expected Puzzler to pull some stunt like this? If I did, I'd have made sure you had Deathstrike here. Besides, Pinkie Pie has encyclopedic knowledge of the Asylum: every secret entrance, every guard rotation..."

"Every different type of cake they serve on special occasions," Pinkie said, practically drooling. "Oh, the frosting..."

"Is she gonna be okay?"

"She can handle herself around cake. It's just been a while since-"

"Ah meant if she's gonna be okay that close ta Discord."

Immediately, Pinkie stopped smiling and turned to face him. "I'm fine. He was a jerk... and a meanie. I'm way over him."

There was a silence. "Well, I'm certainly convinced," said Crystal.

"I kill to keep losers and scum like this off the streets," said Shadowbolt. "I refuse to work alongside them."

"I don't care what kind of coffee you'd like to be served on your First Class flight to the Bahamares. So why should I give a damn?"

"And how do you know we won't just try to escape once were out?" asked Buckshot.

"Because you're smarter than that."

She had a point. It didn't end well for members of TFE who tried to run away during a mission, whether they faked their own death or just made a break for it. There was nowhere to hide. "Maybe. And Am guessing the trackers in our necks are the other reason?"

"That... And the trackers contain a powerful nanotech explosive with enough power to blow off the front end of a tank. But don't worry, it's not messy; it superheats the soft tissue in your neck to the point where whatever is blown off is incinerated in milliseconds."

"Ouch."

"Your bluffing," said Star Crusher. They all turned to her. "I know because I've dealt with manipulative pricks like you before."

"Watch where you tread, Glimmer," Luna spat. "And believe me, you have never met anyone like me."

"Listen to the woman with the trigger to the bomb in our necks, dumbass," said Crystal.

"Ha! You wouldn't go through all this trouble just to kill us. You need as many of us as possible alive for this to work, otherwise you wouldn't have called us all."

"And what makes you think I can't just find a replacement?"

"Because even you know it would look suspicious."

There was a Cold War going on in that room. Luna and Star Crusher glared at each other until... "Fine." She tapped a button on the holocomputer and a door opened. Star Crusher walked over and stopped at the threshold. Then took a step forward. The moment both feet crossed the border, a red light started blinking in her neck. "Wha-?" She looked back as she felt her head heat up and vibrate. Red and yellow lines traced their way from her neck up. She tried to yell, but was cut of when the explosive went off, blowing her head clean off her neck like a guillotine had been used to cut through butter. The headless body stood for a few seconds before collapsing onto the floor.

"Anyone else?" Luna asked, staring at the rest, who all remained silent.

"So, who's our replacement?" asked Crystal.

"What replacement?" Luna asked, grinning. "Any other questions?"

"How do we get in?" asked Ricochette.

"I have an informant in the city who can get you into the Asylum. He will provide you with gear and shelter for the night, as well as any other necessary information required that you don't already know." The computer started to fade. "Find the staff, get the drive, get out, and don't get caught. Remember, this is a covert op. Buckshot? Ricochette? Rubber bullets and stun rounds only." Applejack grinned.

"Hey, Luna," Buckshot called. Luna turned to face her. "Play nice, so will Ah; try ta screw me over and Ah'll blow her head off so clean it'll make yer explosive look as clean as a chainsaw."

Luna grinned and said, "I'm clear. Gas 'em."

"Wait, what 'em?" asked Pinkie.

Suddenly, the room was filled with a white mist as the doors shut. They scrambled to the walls, trying to hammer and claw their way out, but to no avail. Then all they could see was black.

Author's Note

Say hello to Task Force E! In case you're wondering, I didn't know who else to cast as KGBeast. There isn't anyone I disliked as much or who could match his personality. Also, he died within the first 10 or so minutes of the movie, so I couldn't take much interest.

So, last week I asked, "There are three men on a boat with four cigarettes and no matches. How do they smoke?" The answer? They threw one cigarette overboard and made the boat a cigarette "lighter". CONGRATULATIONS to Elusith for being the first to get it right! Here's your cookies! *Rains double chocolate chip cookies on you* And for this chapter, I leave you with this:

An aviator was carrying his clothes home from the cleaners when it began to rain. How didst he protect them?

For the answer and more Assault on Aurora, stay tuned, stay awesome, and remember: Reality is an illusion! The universe is a hologram! BUY GOLD!!! Bye!:pinkiecrazy:

School Night

Buckshot stirred. Her head hurt. Her vision was a little foggy. She tried to massage her headache, but found she couldn't move her arms. She looked and saw her arms clasped to the chair she was in. Same with her feet. She looked around and saw she was in a dark room, lit only by a few green LED lights. She groaned in annoyance. "Gettin' real tired o' this, Luna."

"You and me both, Bucky." Buckshot didn't need to look to know it was Pinkie Pie. All six remaining members were strapped to their chairs. "But you know, when we get to Canterlot, I could show you around. I know some really nice, dark, tight places."

"Wait, aren't you both girls?" asked Ricochette. "Or am I missing something? Does one of you have a-"

"Well, it sure as hell ain't me," Buckshot stated.

"Meh, I'm bicurious," Pinkie stated obliviously. "I'm good with whatever if you can keep up with me, if you know what I mean."

"So..." Ricochette said, checking her out, "If I had something extra, what would you say?"

"Hmm, let's see. I say... Shake it at the dragon," Pinkie said, shooting Ricochette's proposal down without a second thought.

"Do it, and I'll bite it off," said Dragon King. Crystal laughed and smiled at Dragon, who smiled back.

"Yeah, well if that were the case, I wouldn't need anything extra." Ricochette's grin was replaced by shock when she felt something cold and sharp against her head. She looked left and saw Shadowbolt, out of her seat, holding a knife to her neck. "How did you-"

"Shut up, convict," she said. "I don't like you. Or trust you. Any of you. Your too indisciplined. Too wild. And you, especially, are too reckless. Slip up, even once, and I will make sure they never find your body." Without her mask, the dark scowl she wore made her twice as terrifying, not that Ricochette felt the same way. Ricochette groaned as she pulled the knife away and sat back down. The shackles came down and locked her arms and legs back in. Soon the whole room began to move.

"Think we're there yet?" Pinkie asked. As she spoke, they were all encased in metal boxes. "Never mind." After a few seconds, the floor opened up. The boxes separated and plummeted out of the plane they were in. They all screamed at the sudden realization that they were falling several thousand feet in steel traps.

"HOLY SHIT!!!" Ricochette had fallen further than this before, but she wasn't strapped to a chair in a steel box without a means of escape. "What the hell?!"

Pinkie seem to be the only one enjoying this as she cried, "WHEEEEEE!" all the way down.

Buckshot looked out the glass visor and saw the ground echoing towards them. "Damnit, Luna! That grounds coming in fast! Open the damn chutes!"

"I will. I just want you to remember this feeling; the fear, the helplessness. I hold your lives in my hands. Screw with me, and we'll see who shits on the sidewalk... or in this case, who has to be scrapped off it."

"For heavens sake, Luna!" As she spoke, the green lights in their boxes lit up and the whole thing fell apart. The six convicts were now plummeting at high speed towards the ground. He bags attached to their back popped open and released a parachute. Buckshot grabbed the straps of the bag. He looked around and saw Ricochette and Shadowbolt do the same. But there was a problem. Crystal's chute deployed, but then there was a rip.

"Oh, you've got to be joking." She screamed as the lines snapped and she began plummeting again, picking up speed as she dropped. Dragon looked up when he heard the scream. He shifted his weight and moved in front of her. Crystal slammed into him and they both fell at tremendous speed and crashed into a car in a back alley, the parachute covering them as it came down. As soon as Buckshot landed, she ran over to the bashed car and pulled off the parachute. Underneath, was a curled up Dragon, who uncurled to revealed a still alive and in one piece Crystal. She looked up at her purple hero and stroked his hair. "Good Dragon. Good boy." Dragon reveled in the attention like a little puppy.

Buckshot breathed a sigh of relief. If they lost anyone else, this mission would be even more suicidal. "Is everyone alright? Sound off."

"I'm good," said Ricochette.

"Still here," said Shadowbolt.

Buckshot looked around for the missing member. "Wait, where's Pinkie?"

"Over here." They all turned and saw her upside down on top of an overturned trash can. "Don't worry. I landed on my head," she said as the can rolled away and she hit the ground. Looks like the cotton candy hair was more than just a fashion statement.

"Okay. So we're in Canterlot," said Ricochette. "How do we get to our informant without the Mare seeing us?" She was answered by Shadowbolt taking off a manhole cover leading to the sewers. "Oh... Fan-flipping-tanstic."

------------------------------

They had walked for almost half an hour... well, most of them anyway. Dragon had offered to carry Crystal through the the sewer. Of course she gratefully accepted, especially since the boots were brand new. As they approached a turn, Shadowbolt announced, "We're almost there. Another ten minutes, tops."

"Good. Keep moving," said Buckshot.

As they walked though, Ricochette stepped in something unpleasant: a large dead rat the size of her foot. She looked down to see what the odd bump was and saw a mixture of red and black and globs of grey fur rise to the surface. She jumped in disgust. "Gah! That's it. This is flipping nuts! Wading through crap so some bitch in a fedora doesn't see us? Are you kidding me?"

"Can it, Rainbow," said Buckshot. "We're trying to get there without drawing attention from the one "bitch" that'll throw a monkey wrench into this whole operation. But if ya got a death wish or some reason to go back to jail, bah all means, the next ladder up is a few feet from here."

Ricochette thought about it for a moment. She hated this, but she wasn't looking forward to dancing with Mare Do Well either. She calmed down and said, "Whatever. We're practically there."

Buckshot grinned. "Good call."

Soon enough, they reached the end of the pipe and climbed out. Right in front of the, was a tall building with neon lights that lit up the sign. "The Ocean Lounge," Crystal read. "Allow me." They walked over to the door and Crystal knocked. A slot slid open and a pair of eyes stared out.

"We're closed. Private party."

"Darling, were the guests of honor," she said.

She stared at the eyes for a while before the slot shut, locks clicked, and the door opened. They made their way up the stairs and down the bridge that stood over the lounge. The entire room was decorated with an ocean theme and had stylized dolphin decor at almost every turn. At the end of the hall sat a woman, fit as a model, wearing a white button-up shirt, purple pantsuit with gold accents, and a white feathered hat with a dolphin stitched into the front. In front of her was a ten course meal, five of which had been finished, and she was now settling down to a prime cut smoked salmon with mashed potatoes and gravy.

"Come in, come in," she said. "I'm just finishing dinner." She picked up a chunk of salmon in her fork and took it all in one bite. The one question that went through the room but never left their mouths was, "How can she eat like this and had the body of a supermodel?" It was as odd a mystery as how Gutter Gator was the King of Aurora and not Titan.

"Good evening, Miss Shores," Crystal greeted.

Sapphire Shores, widely known as Dolphin, looked up from her meal and smiled at the sight of Crystal. "Oh my stars, Rarity Belle? Or, I believe it's Crystal Cold, now? How have you been? Wait, scratch that. Rhetorical question." She looked between the six individuals. "Well, you've always been generous enough to offer your help to others."

"Things are tough all over, Miss Shores. How's that fur coat I made you last month?"

"Absolutely brilliant! Never been so comfortable in something so warm in years! Honestly, when this is done, I'll personally bail you out and buy out every boutique in the city for you."

"That would be nice."

"Good to see you two," Buckshot cut in.

"My, my. Buckshot? My favorite killer seamstress and my best assassin? Best day ever!" She looked back at the guards behind her. "This girl is the best assassin I've ever hired. And I only hire the best. And Crystal? Best heist planner ever!" There was a grunt and Dolphin turned to see a purple crystal sticking out of one of the guards chests as he slump down, blood pooling around him. "Uh, Crystal?"

"My apologies," she said. "He's one of the idiots that was supposed to help me get away on my last heist."

"Ah. So that's where he was three weeks ago." Dolphin looked down at the body. "You're fired." She looked up and all form of kindness left her. "What the hell?" She had caught sight of Pinkie, who was cowering behind Buckshot. "What is she doing here?!" Dolphin picked up her blue cane and pointed it at Pinkie, the front opening to reveal a gun barrel. The guards behind her aimed their weapons as well.

"Hiya, Dolphin," Pinkie said, smiling sheepishly. "You're not still mad at me, are ya?"

"Wait, did she do?" asked Buckshot.

"This crazy brat and her loony boyfriend drove a truck with over five hundred million Bits worth of pipes and illegally produced gems into the river. MY TRUCK! Precious income I'll never get back! And I'm not selling my A-grade material. Do you know how expensive it is to get the materials and equipment? Not to mention the cost of labour! WHY IS SHE IN MY BUILDING?!"

"If it's any consolation, we broke up months ago. And I'd gladly help you-"

"Can it!" Pinkie squeaked at Dolphin's command.

"Miss Shores, if I may," Crystal said, stepping forward. "She ruined your transaction. Money and effort thrown out the window. It's bad for business."

"You're damn right," said Dolphin, not lowering her cane-gun.

"In fact, you should kill her." Everyone looked at Crystal. "Hell, I'll kill her for you."

"Hey! I'm right here!"

"But you know what else is bad for business? Taking your clients money, then killing their operatives. Trust me, I know. And I also know that Miss Sapphire Shores is not the kind of employer that takes your money and kills your workers. And I'd hate for such a rumor to spread about the city's top smuggler and Princess of Pop."

Dolphin stared for a while, killing intent still burning in her eyes. But after a second thought, she lowered her cane and signaled to her guards to do the same. She reached under her chair and pulled out a file. "This is everything you need to know. Memorize the contents, get your gear, and get some rest. You leave at 0200 hours, sharp. And when you go, I don't ever want to see ah of you here again! Crystal, I'll call you."

Buckshot took the folder and as they walked, Ricochette walked up to Pinkie. "You're all kinds of popular, huh?"

"Bite me, Ricky."

------------------------------

Soon, they were in the weapons room. They split up and looked through the room for their equipment. Ricochette picked up a pair of gloves, put them on, and flicked her wrists, activating it an bringing up a pair of energy knives. Crystal retrieved her long gloves as Dragon King picked up a fairly large heart-shaped Ruby and ate it, causing green spikes to grow out of his back and down his tail, sharpen his teeth and claws, and added a sort of sheen to his skin. Shadowbolt grabbed a utility belt, a mask, and and a pair of combat knives. Pinkie found a pair of metal juggling pins. Finally, Buckshot found her gauntlet guns and a pack of rubber bullets. However, her eyes drifted to a pack of high-velocity shells. She grinned as she loaded her gauntlets and took some extra cartridges.

Once stocked up, Ricochette decided to have a drink before work that night. As she and the other bar staff drank, she noticed Buckshot passing through the bar. "Hey, AJ," she called out. "Come join us."

"Can't," she replied. "It's a school night."

"Oh, come on, AJ. Just one?"

"No, Dash."

Ricochette sighed and stepped forward to block her path. "Okay, fine. How about a game of darts?"

Buckshot thought for a while. "One game." As she spoke, a dagger of light flew passed her head, bounced off a bottle of beer in the bar, off the chandelier, and hit the bullseye.

As the thugs in the room cheered, Ricochette shrugged. "Sorry it came close. But try to top that!"

Buckshot picked up a dagger from the table and threw it to ther right. It bounced off a table, the cieling, a thug's mug, and scratched Ricochette's butt before hitting the bullseye and breaking her dagger. As she walked away, Buckshot punched Ricochette in the face. "Good game," said Buckshot, walking away. Ricochette smiled.

In her room, Applejack had stripped to nothing but her underwear and lay down to sleep. But something wasn't right. "I caught your hint." She turn in her bed and saw a naked Rainbow Dash laying next to her. "Didn't think I wouldn't?" she added with a smirk.

"Not now, Dash," Applejack said. But Rainbow wasn't paying attention. She shifted and lay on top of Applejack, who, out of annoyance, flipped over so she was now on top of Rainbow and pinned her arms to the bed.

"Oh? Not your first rodeo, huh?" Rainbow said, grinning madly.

Applejack sighed and said, "Meh. What the hell?" She dove in for a passionate kiss.

"Mind if I get in on this?" They both looked shocked to see Pinkie Pie, standing at the door, stark naked.

"No," said Applejack.

"Yes," said Rainbow, motioning to her with her head.

"I like Ricky's reply better," said Pinkie.

Applejack sighed. "Screw it. Get in here."

Everyone else was both disturbed by the noise coming from the room next to and opposite them. Either they didn't want to know, or, if they did, they didn't want to think about it.

Author's Note

Like I said, I'm not making this a cut and paste, so I doubled the sexiness.:pinkiecrazy: Is AppleDashPie a thing? Because if not,I'm just made a thing! Congrats to Frost (Shadow) Vortex! The answer to our last riddle was: He puts them inside the hangers! For you, an extra large chocolate milkshake... That never runs out!

Now today, is a very special riddle:
I'm am worn by a very special few,
A fairly unique breed who aren't always quite on que,
I'm pretty snug, admittedly a bit tight,
And I'm only really comfortable when you don't wear me right.
What am I?

Try to figure this one out.:pinkiecrazy: The prize: a chance to see your OC in the next chapter of any of my stories of your choice! One-time thing, but don't be all too surprised if he/she pops up here and there in the story.:raritywink:

So good luck, enjoy, and remember: Reality is and illusion; the universe is a hologram; buy gold! BYE!!!: pinkiecrazy: