Human In Equestria Story: Featuring A Human
THIS IS NOT OVERUSED STORY I PROMISE
hiiii this is my first story so pleez go easy on me thanks semicolon-parenthese
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Hello, my name is Drew Peacock and I am a brony. One day I was just surfing through tbe internet, quietly giggling as I looked the most hilarious memes on the planet that had definetely not been beat into the ground while listening to the dopest skrillex music eveeerrr. I downed an entire jug of mayonnaise and then I got up and walked outside. The sun was bright and almost burned my eyes out. There were these tall, brown and green things. I think my parents called them "grass". Well, anyway, I decided to go to the outside place and then when I walk to the outside place I looked around and saw something.
But first I should tell you dat I am a brony. I was just surfin the web, looking at arrow to the knee jokes on my favorite website "fag.com" and I was laughing my tiny little arse off when all of a sudden I saw these color ponies. And den I was like-
"LOLOL dese ponies are da ultra gay and you should all go kill urselves furfags!!!!1!!!" and I sent it to all of the peoples who were puttin da pwnies on ma hilarious arrow to the knee memes. Den I decide one day "Ponies are so gay, I bet the show is also gay as baloney." So
I turned on my compooter and when I did I went to the youtubes and I typed in "Gay little ponies lololol" and all of dese pony videos with da ponies come up and den literally rainbows came out of my eyes (true story) and dey go all over ma desk and I am all like omg deese ponies are like da bestest. So den when people call da ponies gay I go to their account and yell at them for a good 40 hours and then have 100 comment long arguments wit dem on da youtubes comments because dey MUST luv the ponies too.
So after I watch all da episodes I go to da outsides and I look around and I say "Pony" and a portal opens up it opens up right in front of it did and I looks at it, I looks at is and I says "PORTAL" and I jump inside da portal.
Now remember, dis is all da true story.
So I go through the space-time continuum and as I fly through the portal my body is ripped and molded by the rapid speed and multiple forces acting upon my body. When I land in Equestria my body is literally a pile of flesh and bones, mushed up and spread out. You could probably have made pudding out of my oozing flesh and crushed bones.
So den the ponies come up to me and say dis dey say,"Drew Peacock, it is yo destiny to defeat da evil dragon and have da secks with da Rainbow Dash."
I say "Ok ponies show me where da dragon is." Rainbow Dash can wait for later.
So dey show me where the big old scary dragon is and I looks him in the eye I looks him right in it and I says,"YOU BIG DUMB DRAGON IMA FUCK YO FUCKIN SHIT UP BRO COME AT ME, UMAD? I SHOW YOU WHAT IT MEANS TO TAKE AN ARROW TO THE KNEE."
I shot the dragon in the arrow with a knee, and he fell to the ground, a knee stuck in his arrow. I was all like, "AWWWW YEAHHHHH BRING ON THE PRIZEs."
So den da ponies cfome up to me, all six of dem Twilight Sparkle, Applejack, Rainbow Dash, Rarity, Pinkie Pie, and Fluttershy, and dey cheer for me and den I take Rainbow Dash to a special place.
If you know what I mean...
And den right after I wus dun with da Rainbow Dash I took da Rarity and I gave her a lollipop.
If you know what I mean...
And den I grabbed the Fluttershy and I gave her a ticket to ride the best roller coaster in all of Equestria.
If you know what I mean...
And den I taked Twilight Sparkle and I showed her how to brush her teeth with a toothbrush.
If you know what I mean...
And then I played Monopoly with Pinkie Pie.
No, I seriously played Monopoly the boardgame with Pinkie Pie.
If you know what I mean...
And then I placed a bucket on my head and went to Applejack's nearest local gas station.
If you know what she means....
So den after we were all done with all the you know what I means we went to an amusement park and went into a photo booth and got a picture so that I could take it home wiht me and show all of my brony friends (one of them) and dey would all be like
"OMG HOQW DID YOU MEET DA PONIES I AM SO JEALOUS"
and I would be like
If you know what I mean...
And then they would all go nuts and I would lick their nuts. I mean, I wouldn't lick their nuts that is gay. (But I actually would lick the nuts they went nuts with)
And then after I was done eating nuts we'd all get some thick cream to celebrate with and invite Twilight Sparkle to come. We would all display our nuts while whiping the cream all about the area, trying to land some of it's thick, creamy goodness in our mouths and show off how white it could make out mouths. Cream literally was spewing everywhere while we went nuts with Twilight Sparkles, who was dancing on the floor a lot while the cream fell onto her body. And den she say
"Drew Peacock just through cream all over me!"
and den I said
"lol twilight," and then I got some Italian sausage out of my fridge and we had an Italian sausage fight. Twilight won because she is a unicorn. The rest of my friends died in the carnage. My house was destroyed but I did not cares because da Twilight Sparkle was in my house. I loveeeee heerrrrrr soooooo muchhhhhhh. I is not even joking we almost had a hug but she said,"Ew you're Drew Peacock," and did not give me hug and I was sad but it was okay because I got to touch her like once or twice so it's all good.
And den Twilight Sparkle went back to Equestria becuz she's a good pony and good ponies do not stay on Earth.
And then I went back to da planet earth and I went back to trolling the internet.
I'd say that this was a success.
And this is all a true story, I promise.
If you know what I mean...
