How To Raise Your Moon

Chapters

She Likes Flash Mobs
She Likes Having Her Fur Brushed
She Likes To Sing and (Kinda) Dance
She Likes to Headbutt. And Snuggle. But Mostly Headbutt.
She Likes Being Raised
She Likes Waking Me Up With Raspberries
She Likes to Clean Up the Dishes. And the Competition.
She Likes to Dress Up For Me
She Likes to Elope
She Likes Pancakes. And Flowers. And Pancake Flowers.

She Likes Flash Mobs

The sun was high in the sky when we reached town proper. The yellows and browns of the quaint thatch cottages and surrounding rolling greens were glowing bright under the afternoon sun. The town square was a riot of colour, with parents and older siblings shepherding wayward fillies and colts home from school mixing with the shoppers thronging the market stalls. Anything and everything, from the smell of fresh spiced haybread, to Noi and Lyra competing at selling scout cookies, to the Cutie Mark Crusaders' getaway wagon speeding away from an angry Octavia, all seemed to give Princess Luna pause. I swear even Opalescence must be less distractible than the Princess of the Night.

I idly imagined Princess Luna as an overgrown kitten. It wasn't difficult with how her ears and tail were swaying excitedly as she took in the small town sights.

She wasn't alone in being distractible. Others around us would stop in their tracks, mostly to stare at the Princess. Sure, her mane and tail were a dishevelled tangle of twigs and leaves, and her coat had seen better, less muddy days. But her elfin form and the constant smile of wonder on her face didn't fail to captivate anypony.

"So, what were you doing out in the forest?" I finally asked her, half out of curiosity, but mostly to keep her focused enough to keep up.

"It was just a routine sortie for the Long Patrol." The Princess said, offhoofedly. I swear I've heard Fluttershy sound more excited about paying her taxes. It was the biggest understatement ever since Rainbow Dash accused Twilight of 'liking books'. It was sort of like saying 'Oh, it was just another Monday. A centaur went around stealing everypony's cutie marks'. The Long Patrol is known to be the most badflank division of the royal guard. Their job description includes being badflanks, keeping a lid on the wild monsters, being badflanks, kicking pirate plot and taking bandit names, and, did I mention, being badflanks?

"There is a Cliffhanger unaccounted for. We normally keep an eye on them between hibernations. They keep to themselves mostly but it's still worth making sure they don't come anywhere close to our settlements." Princess Luna turned away from watching Cloud Kicker and Blossomforth bicker over the placement of a cloud hanging over a worried-looking Lyra Heartstrings. "But when we reached one nest this year it was empty. We tracked it south east until the trail went cold. I split up from my squad to search this region."

This has gotta be the most forewarning we've ever had for a monster attack (Or a 'friendship problem') in Ponyville, ever. "Should I be making sure Twi and her friends are the best of bestest friends for the afternoon, just in case?" I suggested. Maybe make them a picnic basket, get them together on that hill overlooking Ponyville, air one of Twi's old hangups, group hug and arm the rainbow laser, then *BOOM!** Monster showdown time! Yep, sounds like a plan.*

No, I certainly wasn't getting all jumpy and trigger-happy with the friendship canon. Not at all.

"My squad sent me a message by messenger owl last night." She said. "Our scouts picked up its trail leading into a cave in the Ghastly Gorge. I was going to join them but, um..." Her cheek turned the colour of an awkward strawberry.

She totally didn't get lost.

"My armour. Yes, that's it. My 'plot armour', the enchanted full-plate I need to face the Cliffhanger, got damaged in a tussle with a bandersnatch a week ago." She declared, her look almost challenging anypony to suggest it was anything other than her armour. "I must get it repaired if I am to rejoin my squad."

"Huh, I was wondering where your usual crown, horseshoes and chest plate are." I said.

"Hah, with armour like that I would just as well be leading an army of breezies. Though that appears to be sufficient when facing the court of nobles." She gave a derisive scoff, "Neigh, I am more comfortable in good sturdy full-plate out on the field." She stopped to watch Dinky run along with a length of rope in her mouth, pulling a pegasus filly, Alula, into the air behind her.

"Lemme guess, that's also the reason your mane's not all magick-y glow-y and stuff?" I asked, bringing her attention back to our trek to the spa.

"It might be useful to remind the nobles and foreign dignitaries exactly who their Princess of the Night is. But out on the field it is like wearing the bastard child of a searchlight and a death wish on my head. And I am quite attached to my head." The Princess said, "Speaking of my armour, I really would like to have it fixed so I may resume my mission."

"Hay, I can fix it for you." I offered, "I fix all of Twilight's magical lab equipment all the time. I'm sure I can fix an enchanted suit of armour."

Her face lit up like the sun at that. "That is very kind of you, dear Spike. You would have all my thanks."

"Yeah, it's no problem at all, Princess." I gave her a dismissive wave of my claw. It's not like I have much else to do with how little Twilight has me do.

As we reached the edge of the market we ran into a familiar figure. "Hello!" Fiddly Faddle, the town fiddler, doffed her white rancher hat at us as she trotted past.

Youtube Video

Princess Luna only waved back awkwardly, seemingly unsure of what to say.

"Dear Spike, what do I say?"

She turned to whisper to me.

"Why don't you just say 'good day'?"

I suggested with a shrug.

"What a strange little town."

Princess Luna frowned,

"Everypony just walks up to say...."

And then the town randomly erupted into song and dance. Because ponies.

"Hello!"

Carrot Top waved her wares at us from her stall.

"Good day!"

A trio of weather ponies flew by, pushing rain clouds through the air.

"Hello!"

Cherry Berry waved down from her big purple hot air balloon.

"Good Day!"

A random stallion popped out of a random barrel of random jam.

"YEAAAH!"

Bulk Biceps flexed.

"They're greeting me like they're all so familiar."

Princess Luna murmured in bewilderment,

"As if I am one of them.

Why's this friendliness peculiar?

Can I really be the same?

And really fit into this picture?"

"Hello, ma'am!"

Mr. Cake doffed his baker's cap at the Princess as they crossed paths.

"Um, good day, sir."

The Princess replied, taking a surprised half-step back.

"How are you?"

Mr. Cake asked, the Cake twins climbing up on either side of his mane to peer down at the Princess curiously.

"I'm...." The Princess suddenly put on a watery smile as she took a deep breath.

"I'm just swell, thanks! And you?"

She replied, dropping her High Unicornian speech entirely at the drop of a hat.

"All the better for you asking me."

Mr. Cake chuckled, turning to me,

"Hay, Spike, happy Birthday! See you at the party!"

I waved back at him in reply.

"Look, I did it!"

Princess Luna gasped at me.

"I talked to ponies, such a feat!

And they didn't run and hide

It's the might of my disguise!

Keep it up, might even have a reprise!"

"Hello!"

The conductor, All Aboard, hailed us from the Friendship Express as it rumbled past.

"Good day!"

The Princess waved excitedly at the entire trainful of ponies.

"Just keep it cool, really."

I advised.

"Hello!"

A trio of fillies playing skip rope greeted.

"Good day!"

Princess Luna called back, joining in with a hop and a skip on the rope.

"You don't really need to shout."

I winced, shielding my ears.

"I need...Six muffins?!"

Ditzy Doo squeaked, pushing a basket pleadingly across the counter at Sugarcube Corner, putting on her best puppy-dog eyes all the while.

"That's too expensive."

Pinkie Pie said with a stern look.

"Psyche!"

She suddenly broke into a fit of giggles,

"It's just a shout-out!"

She passed Ditzy an entire avalanche of muffins.

"Now watch me as I double the fuuuun!"

Princess Luna twirled off the skipping rope to throw a forehoof into the air.

"Why'd these songs have to be so overdone?"

I sighed.

"For years I've studied this tongue so peculiar,"

The Princess sang, ears swivelling to and fro as she listened in on the ponies she trotted past.

"Catching up with times, don't be left behind!"

She paused by Dr. Hooves' clock store to look at the storefront display.

"The clock now moves with me.

I'll keep up, so you'll see!"

She gave a grandfather clock a determined smirk.

"I shall conquer this language of the young!"

"Ooooooooh, isn't this amazing?

With this guise nopony need fear me~"

Princess Luna gestured at the ponies around her.

"No royal pomp nor circumstance

would stop this song and dance

'Cause I'm a pony just like them!"

"C'mon you noobs, let's pwn these ponies!"

A very excited Button Mash shouted at his arcade console.

"LOL, Rumble you're still just level three!"

He teased his pegasus playmate, Rumble.

"I need to talk the talk,"

The Princess said, listening closely to Button Mash and Rumble chatter away.

"And also walk the walk."

She added, watching Sweetie Belle scoot along the ground past us.

"Turn monologue into dialogue!

I need to try and fit the bill."

Princess Luna sang determinedly.

"Just say 'Good day', it's always a good day

In Ponyville!"

Everypony else around her cheered.

As the flash mob around Princess Luna thickened, another voice rose up from the crowd. It was silvery and plummy, perhaps trying a little too hard to be so.

"Right from the moment when I met her, saw her

There was something about her I just can't tell

She is beautiful, it's true

But there's more to her I'm sure

Need to remember why her face rings a bell!"

"Look there he goes, isn't he dreamy?"

The flower trio sighed as their eyes followed somepony through the crowd.

"Prince Blueblood, oh he's so cute!

Bestill my heart, I'm hardly breathing!

He's such a tall, fair, strong and handsome brute!"

They swooned before falling over into a twitching heap on the ground.

"Hello."

Zecora said, waving a forehoof over her stall's bubbling cauldron.

"Pardon."

"Good day."

Two yaks greeted through mouthfuls of Ponyville apple pie.

"My toaster needs repair."

Sparkler floated a flaming toaster over to a light gray unicorn in a navy blue repairpony's overalls.

"Hello!"

Tree Hugger hugged a tree.

"Good day."

The Tree whispered back at her.

"10 seconds flat!"

Rainbow Dash barked commandingly at her weather ponies.

"'Scuse me!"

"This cloud...rains jam!"

Clear Skies complained at the Cloudsdale Weather Factory booth.

"Actually it's pecan."

The mare behind the booth, Raindrops, said, taking a taste.

"Please let me through!"

"Now watch me as I double the fuuuun!"

Princess Luna declared, waving a forehoof into the air.

"By tonight I shall have your mystery unfurled!"

The loud plummy voice sang one last time before he was drowned out by a chorus of townsponies.

"Don't need the words or steps,

just join in the song and dance!"

The ponies sang.

"Like a pony I will sing

Watch me, I'll fit right in"

Princess Luna sang as she struggled to keep up.

"Make up the lyrics and wing the steps"

The chorus went on.

"I'll be just like everypony!"

The Princess declared determinedly, fitting into the chorus as she prepared to join in the wind up for the final reprise.

"Just say 'Good day', it's always a good day"

Everypony cheered as hats, muffins and even a flaming toaster were tossed up into the air. A wing of weather ponies swooped across the town square, shedding clouds that burst in colourful jam and pecan.

"In Ponyville!"

"Hello!"

"Good day!"

"Hello!"

"Good day!"

"Hello!"

"Good day!" The Princess sang, raising her forehooves into the air. She blinked awkwardly before looking around, only to find the townsponies had resumed whatever it was they were doing at the market. A few even gave her odd looks. She dropped her forehooves awkwardly to the ground, looking almost as if she wanted to pull her withers over her head. A teeny pony-squee escaped her lips as she erupted into a furious blush.

"Uh, are you alright, Princess?" I asked, wearily.

"Yes, of course, I am whole and unblemished." The Princess straightened up like a shot. "I-I mean..." She quickly cleared her throat as if she might swallow the blush. To its credit, it was a pretty stubborn blush. "Spike, didya see that? Didya? I spoke to ponies and they didn't scarper!" She put on an excited grin, completely dropping her usual high Unicornian speech. It took me a little by surprise. I mean, I know she had been working hard at shedding her old High Unicornian accent and mannerisms over the years. But I didn't realize she was able to turn it off completely. But then I suppose she was never one to reveal all the cards in her hoof. "Wowzees, this is, like, so cool! C'mon, Spike, let's chat up more ponies!"

Something about her speech was really beginning to grate on me. And I'm best friends with Pinkie Pie so that's saying something. "Uh, yeah, sure, Princess. But could we maybe dial the speech back a little?" I suggested. "It's a little too...uh, advanced for Ponyville." Princess Luna was more like Twilight than I thought; She takes everything seriously, even 'adapting' to modern day speech.

"Is it?" The Princess frowned, returning to her High Unicornian, "I studied many examples of contemporary speech quite carefully, and this one appeared to be the most 'developed'."

Yeah. Developed on an alien planet, probably. "It's probably a little too developed, Princess. I mean, have you ever heard Twilight or her friends speak that way?" I pointed out the local standards for sanity. I suddenly realized how desperate I must be seeking sanity in the Elements of Harmony.

"Good point, Spike. Sorry, got a teensy bit carried away. It's not everyday I get to practice, y'know. Is this okay?" She asked, retaining the cheerful spring in her tone but trimming out all the alien bits.

Well, my ears were no longer trying to pull themselves inside out, so it was a start. "Perfect, Princess." I gave her a weary nod of approval as we fell into step along mane street.

"Is something bothering you?" Princess Luna gave me a worried look, "It's not me, is it?" Her ears drooped worriedly.

"No, no, of course not, Princess." I waved a claw dismissively, "It's just...nothing." I lied.

"You've been looking down ever since the baker pony wished you a happy birthday." Nothing escapes the Princess of the Night, it seems. "You're worried about Blueblood and tonight's party, aren't you?" She guessed it in one.

"I am." I admitted. There was no escaping the Night, after all. "It doesn't make any sense. If he wants to help the council get along better with the nobles, why invite them to my birthday? They could have had a separate party to do just that. Not that I mind helping the council and all that," I lied again, "But something's real fishy here."

"Hm." The Princess nodded, tapping her chin thoughtfully with a wing. "You are not wrong. It is peculiar." She slipped back into her High Unicornian, "Our nephew is nothing if not consistent in one purpose; The pursuit of power. The Council of Friendship is a new and untapped source of political influence. He appears wise enough to know he cannot simply find a seat on the council, at least not immediately." Her eyes widened as a sudden thought occurred to her, "So he must seek to be the intermediary between the Council and the rest of Equestria's political powers, the nobles. Inviting the nobles and the Council to a party at his own manor would have made his intentions obvious. Having the Council themselves host the party would cut him out of any dealings. So, a compromise; Invite the nobles to a gathering honouring the Council member he deems easiest to overshadow. Take the spotlight at the party and make himself the go-to-pony for all Council dealings." She thought out loud.

"The...member easiest to overshadow." I murmured, bitterly. Yeah, that'd have to be me. And there was nothing I could do to stop him. Hay, I'd probably trip over my tail and send the cake flying or something and just hoof everything to Blueblood on a silver platter. And simply not going would just make it all that much easier for him.

"Sorry, dear Spike, I meant nothing by that statement, just the fact that the other Council members are Elements who carry more renown amongst nobles and commoners alike." Princess Luna added in an effort to soothe my pride. It didn't help much.

"Can I warn them?" I asked, "Twilight and her friends I mean?"

"We have no evidence. T'is but mere supposition on our part." Princess Luna said, grimly, "If he plays the unjustly accused victim he may deepen the schism forming in the Council as we speak."

"Isn't there anything I can do?" I was almost pleading. My friends were facing an enemy out to get them, one they couldn't even see let alone blast with rainbow powers. And all I could do is watch. Again.

This sucks.

Princess Luna took me by surprise. "There is." She said, giving me a calculating look. "As I said, his plan probably hinges upon him overshadowing you at the party. But should you outshine him, I expect his plan would backfire upon his wretched plot most spectacularly."

"How am I going to do that?" I asked, seeing the glaring flaw in her plan. I'm Spike. As much as I hate to admit it, I don't shine, let alone outshine. "I don't even have a date for the opening dance."

"Simple." Princess Luna smiled a worryingly dangerous smile, "All you need is somepony there to help you shine."

"But who...?" I began before we were suddenly interrupted.

"Hi, Spike." We paused in our steps to find Twilight and Fluttershy coming down the spa's front steps. I didn't even realize we had arrived. "Great timing. I really wanted to speak to you." Twi smiled as she trotted up to me.

For some reason neither of them seemed to notice the Princess next to me. Princess Luna didn't greet them either, instead opting to shuffle backwards into the shadows of a nearby alleyway. Huh, must be some kind of 'Background Pony' spell. Well, the worst thing I could do was draw attention to her when she obviously didn't want it. "Hi, Twi. Whassup?" I asked, working hard to keep my tone as casual as possible. It was difficult to pretend that morning didn't happen, but I somehow managed. Because I'm all mature and grown-up and all that. "You didn't drop all your lists in the bath again, did you?"

"Um." Twilight was quick to dig through her saddlebags. She surfaced once more, a look of relief on her face, satisfied she had all two hundred of the lists she normally carried on a regular spa outing. "Nope, course not, I'm not that silly." She chuckled, waving a forehoof dismissively at me.

"So, what was it you wanted to see me about?" I asked, curious.

"Oh, yes, I kinda wanted to give you two early presents, Spike." Twi said. "I know you said you don't want to have birthday presents if you can help it, but these are special."

"Special presents?!" I felt my heart flutter with excitement, my claws quiver with anticipation, before I could even stop them. I don't even remember what actually happened on that fateful birthday. I just woke up in midair with half of Ponyville lying in smoking ruins. My friends wouldn't tell me much other than 'birthday presents turn you funny'. "Uh, cool, thanks, Twi. What is it?" I asked, evenly, doing my best to shut the strange feelings out. I had no need to worry. Twilight wouldn't give me birthday presents if she thought they'd harm anypony, right?

"First of all..." Twilight dug about in her saddlebags with her magic before fishing out a familiar-looking key. "Tah dah! There you go, Spike." She floated the key over to me.

"Hay...." Recognition dawned on me as I held the key in the palm of my claws. The weight, the feel, surely it can't be– "Twilight, is this the key to the library?" I gasped. No, not just any library. The Ponyville Library. We had spent a good year rebuilding it from the ground up. It was just about ready to serve the town again. All it needed was a good librarian. And now...

"Yeah, it is." Twilight nodded with a bright grin, "It's yours. Well, sort of. The library part is still a public facility, but the actual house is yours. And with it comes the title of 'Ponyville Head Librarian'. I can't think of anypony more qualified to pick up where we left off than you, Spike." She gave me a nod of approval.

"Wow, that's amazing, I..." My excitement slowly ebbed away as I realized what this meant. I gulped. "Twi, does...does this mean I'm moving out?" I slowly looked up at her. She had always been with me ever since I hatched. I had never lived away from her. I couldn't imagine living away from her. And I had always been her number one assistant. Wait, does that mean...? "Now that you have all those servants, do you...." I couldn't help but choke on my own words, "...do you not need me as your assistant anymore?"

I barely finished before I was swept up in a tight hug. "No, Spike." I heard Twilight firmly say, her forehooves pulling me tight against her. I felt her wings closing around us like a curtain to give us a little privacy. "You're forever my little brother, my closest family forever and ever. Literally." I felt my heart tighten at her words, as if clinging onto ever syllable. I knew it, yeah, but there and then I simply had to hear them. "And I don't want you to move out. The castle feels empty enough even without a family member leaving. But you're eighteen now. I want you to have the option if you ever want it. Besides, that library was our home. I want to know it's in good hooves. Or claws." She chuckled. "And I'll always need you Spike. More than you know. Which brings me on to my second present." She slowly eased her hug to look down at me, giving me a warm, sisterly smile. "I, Princess Twilight Sparkle, do hereby dub thee Sir Spike, Knight of Friendship and Number One Assistant."

Trust Twilight to be as cheesy as hay, but I wasn't complaining. I was too busy cheering in glee. Yeah, call it whatever you want, but I'm a dragon living in the middle of a land of ponies. It always feels good to know they still want me, that they still need me in some way, no matter how small.

Besides, 'Knight' of anything was way cool.

"Thanks, Twi!" I pulled her into a hug doubly tight, "You're the best-est!"

"Wow, easy on the ribs, Spike." She squeaked, "Yeah, I was planning to give you all that tonight, but hay, why wait?" She chuckled. "That said I will still be bestowing the title on you officially at the party. So, uh..." She gave me a meek little smile, scraping a forehoof on the ground nervously, "...you're coming to the party, right?"

And just like that I felt my happy-balloon go up in a burst of flame. I gripped the key tightly, just shy of twisting it in two. So this was all just to make sure I came to the party? Yeah, of course, hard to look good in front of the nobles if the guest of honour himself failed to show up. The more I thought about it, the more it appealed to me. I just wanted to get away from everything, everypony. Hay, even moving out was starting to look good.

But I quickly bit it all back, knowing I'd only end up saying something I'd regret. I'm not a kid anymore, after all. "About my dance partner...." Was all that made it to my mouth.

"Well, Fluttershy can..." Twilight waved a forehoof at Fluttershy who was quick to nod in agreement. But before Twi could say anymore, a certain wild Princess suddenly reappeared.

"Oh, Sparks, there you are!" Princess Luna trotted up to me, placing a friendly forehoof on my shoulder. "Sorry, I got distracted watching a runaway DJ booth." She chuckled. "Oh, greetings, your Highness, and your Excellency Ms. Fluttershy of the Council." She was quick to offer a deep bow. It felt rather surreal, watching Princess Luna bow to Twilight.

Twilight couldn't help but frown at the Princess. I couldn't blame her. There was something about the Princess' bedraggled look that just draws you in. It was almost endearing in a way. Fluttershy's expression, on the other claw, was unreadable from where she hid behind Twilight. Still, they were both polite enough to wait for an introduction.

"Oh, Twi, Flutters, this is..." I began, waving a claw at Princess Luna. That was when I drew a blank, realizing I obviously couldn't call her that. I struggled to make up a name on the spot. The best I could come up with was 'Sundae Sprinkles' for some reason.

"My name is Moonlight Sonata, Your Highness." The Princess swooped in to save me. 'Moonlight Sonata'? That name sounded familiar but for some reason I couldn't really place it.

"Twilight's fine. Nice to meet you, Ms. Sonata." Twilight said, with a smile that didn't quite reach up to her eyes. "You're Spike's friend, are you?" She asked, not even bothering to hide the suspicion in her voice.

"Please, call me Sona. And yes, I suppose you can call us 'friends'. I suppose going to the dance together makes us 'friends'." She smiled, brightly.

"Wait, you are?" I blurted out, before I was cut short by a subtle tail-nudge from the Princess. "I mean, yeah, we're totally dancing, cause we're friends. And that's what friends do. Dance." I rambled, awkwardly, before I realized I was better off shutting up. Sona's struggle to avoid grimacing kinda helped.

"Is that so?" Twilight frowned, lighting up her horn to idly twirl a strand of her mane. Except I knew better than anypony that Twilight never casts spells needlessly. Plus she's a master of multi-casting; Using multiple spells at once. She was probably masking some sort of spell meant to peer through the Prince-...Sona's disguise.

"Yeah. We've been friends for a few years actually." I quickly said, "I bumped into her camping out in the forest and told her about my problems with the opening dance." Technically none of that was a lie. I had in fact known the Princess for years by then.

"Yep. And I quickly offered to bail him out of trouble." Sona grinned. "Because I'm real nice like that."

"Hmm." Twilight's horn dimmed, seemingly satisfied with her cursory magical examination. "It just came as a bit of a surprise. Spike never really spoke of you before."

"Y'know, I'm actually not surprised Sparks has never mentioned me. He just keeps a lot to himself." Sona shrugged her withers.

"Does he?" Twilight chuckled, dryly, giving me a look, "So, do you live around here? I've never seen you in town before." She went on with all the subtlety of a flying brick.

"I'm a royal guard. We met in Canterlot over some donuts at a Power Pony comic convention. I tour with the Long Patrol most of the time but we swap letters and meet up whenever I'm on leave." Sona explained, surprisingly smoothly. The cover story was actually very believable, considering all the subtle details she had thrown in. I half expected her to be awkward at this whole disguise thing. But she was turning out a regular master spy. "Don't worry, Twilight, I'm not some evil foalnapper out to steal away your lovely little baby brother." Sona giggled, cheerfully.

"Oh, uh..." Twilight faltered at being called out so bluntly. "No, sorry, I didn't mean to suggest that." She hung her head a little, ears drooping flat against her mane. "It's just a bit of a surprise that Spike has...." Twi frowned, seemingly fishing for words.

"...other friends?" Sona finished for her with a raised eyebrow.

"Yeah." Twilight nodded, pursing her lips a little. Wait, really, Twilight?

"I don't see why. He's the friendliest dragon ever." Sona spoke up for me. "Though that isn't exactly difficult." She giggled, nudging me in the shoulder.

"Hay! Easy on the ego there, Sona." I joined in on the charade.

"Yeah, I know. Sorry, I really shouldn't be so surprised." Twilight hung her head in shame. For a moment I felt a little bad. "So, uh, did you come to town for his birthday?" She asked, suddenly looking up at Sona. Smooth change of topic, Twilight.

"Yeah. I took my camp leave early and left my unit out near Dodge Junction. I tried to wing it here to try and make it in time. I really wanted to be here for Sparks' birthday this year. And that was when Sparks here kinda saved me from starvation in the forest." Sona chuckled, patting me on the shoulder with a forehoof. "The least I can do to repay him is make sure he looks good tonight. And now that I'm going to be accompanying the dragon of the hour, I'm gonna need to look the part." She nodded at the spa.

"Uhuh." Twilight nodded, awkwardly, "Well, good. Good to see you have somepony, Spike. For the dance, I mean. Um, enjoy the spa, you two. I mean, I'm not suggesting you should use it together. You could go separately. Uh..."

"We get it, Twi." I smiled gently, patting her on her withers comfortingly. "We'll see you at the party tonight."

"Uh, yeah, see you." Twi nodded as she trotted away. Fluttershy was quick to break into a canter alongside her, seemingly relieved to finally be on her way, well, away.

Twilight looked over her shoulder at me a few times, even pausing to peer around a street corner. I couldn't help but sigh as I held the spa door open for Sona.

"Thank you, Sparks. Such a gentlecolt." Sona, I mean, the princess said with a smile. "Are you alright?" Her smile turned into a worried frown as the door closed behind us, shutting out the street outside.

"I'll live." I muttered, darkly. I'm not a baby dragon. I'm mature enough to know that Twi would not have asked me to come to the party if she wasn't sure it would be best for me. Still, I couldn't help but think of how much of it was helping her maintain her appearances before the nobles. "And, uh, are you sure, Princess? About going to the party with me?"

"Sure I'm sure, Sparks." The Princess gave me a wink, "I already said I owe you a boon, twice repaid. Oh, and call me 'Sona'. We might as well get some practice in, right?" She giggled, excitedly.

Something told me somepony was actually enjoying this little game. But for some reason seeing Sona truly enjoy herself was encouraging. In part it was a relief that accompanying me wasn't entirely a chore for her. But mostly, I couldn't help but like Moonlight Sonata's impish little smile.

"Now let's have at these duckies of rubber!" She declared with excited glee.

Yeah, just can't help it.

She Likes Having Her Fur Brushed

It was surprising to see Sona study the interior of the spa so closely, considering it was decorated and furnished in the Canterlotian style she was no doubt used to. Mauve and magenta Unicornian columns and rounded marble walls hugged the simple but comfortable reception area. A few choice potted flowers and ferns gave it all an elegant touch of life. It was all very...chic, or frou-frou as Rainbow Dash would put it (often in abject horror).

Sona was busy testing the fluffiness of the thick round beige carpet when we were greeted by a silky sweet voice, "Hello, welcome to the Aloe and Lotus Spa~" A pale-rose earth pony trotted up to meet us. "Oh, hello, Spike. What a zurprise. Happy Birthday!" Many have trouble placing Aloe and Lotus' accent. Some say Prench, some even say Neighponese. While many are content to leave it as an exotic little secret, all you really need to do is ask and the spa twins would regale you with their life story growing up in Chineigh Town in Flankfurt, Germaneigh.

"Hi Aloe. And thanks." I greeted my boss with a smile, "You're coming to the party, right?"

"Of courze, my dear. Wouldn't mizz it for za world!" Aloe smiled, sweetly, "Are you sure you don't want any gifts though?"

"Yeah, definitely. But thanks for asking." I said, flatly. It's a real bummer. But I'm a grown-up dragon now, I know how to be responsible. Totally.

Yeah, right, it's still a real bummer.

"It'z alwayz nize to have you, Spike, but you remember you have today off for your birthday, no?" Aloe tilted her head to one side, quizzically.

As Twilight's collection of royal servants grew and my own chores dwindled, I started going out to find something, anything to occupy myself. My claws and strength made me a surprisingly good masseur. That and all my experience in grooming the fur, mane, horn and wings of a rather unruly alicorn princess made me a shoe-in for the spa's part-time position. The pay's generous, but more important to me was all the ponies I got to meet and chat with on job.

"Yeah, but I kinda need to borrow the baths if that's alright? I've got a customer I want to sort out myself." I waved for Sona to step out from behind me. "You can take her fee from my pay." I whispered aside to Aloe.

Aloe's smile froze on her face.

"Uh, good day?" Sona suggested with a nervous smile. A twig held strained in her mane finally snapped and achieved escape velocity, pinging off the ceiling lamp, a vase and my head before hitting Aloe squarely on her headband.

"Oh, you poor dear!" Aloe finally let out a shriek of horror at the sight of Sona's mane and fur. "Zis is a spa emergency! No, there shall be no fee, thiz iz dizazter relief!" The pink spa pony was quick to dash out from behind her booth, bearing down on Sona like a mare possessed.

"Spa emergency? Is there a chipped hoof or lost rubber duckie or something?" Sona hazarded, looking about. She gave a loud squeak as Aloe headbutted her in the flank, shoving her unceremoniously into the spa. "I-is this some kind of fire drill? Is there a mane on fire somewhere?"

"Spike! To ze bath tubz!" Aloe commanded, somehow channelling the ferocity of Commander Hurricane. "Pump ze bellowz and mare ze showerz! Tonight we bathe in Tartarus!"

"Ma'am, yes, ma'am!" I saluted, leaping into action.

"Sparks? This is just a drill, right? Sparks?! SPARKS?!" Sona squeaked, but to no avail. Her cries were lost in the bowels of the Ponyville spa.

"I-I can't feel my fur." A clean, if somewhat morose, Sona sniffled softly as she lay sprawled across one of the spa's many divans. I couldn't blame her. She had been martyred to the cleansing forces of IronStomp Shampoo and EverSqueak Soap, a worthy sacrifice upon the altar of immaculate purity. Even the mighty Rainbow Dash runs in terror at the mention of Aloe and Lotus' Gauntlet of Frou-Frou-ness

"Oh, you'll live." I chuckled, setting down a chilled glass of sweetened cream and a bowl of grapes by her side.

"The fury is still out on that." She muttered, sniffing the cream before taking a cautious sip through the curly straw. Her eyes immediately lit up with obvious enjoyment.

"You mean 'jury'." I corrected, arming myself with a soft brush.

"That's what I said." Sona grumbled, blowing disconsolate bubbles into her drink. Her eyes widened once more at her newly discovered trick, giving the cream a few more experimental puffs. "Ooooh, the bubbles have been doubled!" She trilled, bobbing and blowing bubbles to the tune of the 'Good Day' aria.

Note to self; Bubbles make everything better.

"How long has it been since you last brushed your fur?" I frowned, taking in the state of her coat. There were enough loose strands for at least twenty ponies there. About enough work too. Biting my lip at the task ahead, I prepared to get to work.

To my surprise Sona recoiled at the sight of the brush. "W-wait, I can attend to that myself." She pulled the brush out of my claw with her magic.

I opened my mouth to argue but decided to stand back and frown at her instead. But I could only watch for so long as she tried to run the brush not only backwards and forwards but against the grain of her fur too. Her wincing and gritting her teeth at her own brushing finally forced my claw. "Hay, if Aloe or Lotus walk in here and see you doing all the work they'll give me the hoof out the door." I protested, putting a claw on the brush to stop it ravaging her fur any further.

My bosses would never fire me over one headstrong customer, obviously, but from the look of horror on Sona's face she obviously didn't know that. "Sorry, Sparks, I didn't mean that." She whimpered as she allowed me to take hold of the brush again. I didn't like telling lies to my friends, even white ones, but I had a feeling nothing else would convince her to allow me to take care of her.

She flinched, closing her eyes in obvious apprehension as I began my work. I rolled my eyes as I slowly but firmly ran the brush from her neck downwards. She gave a little squeak at first before suddenly relaxing, all the tension in her muscles melting away under the gentle brushstrokes. She purred contentedly, her ears and tail twitching in obvious enjoyment. "Sparks, how does this not hurt?" She sighed, happily.

"By doing it right." I said, deadpan. "And you've been alive for how long? You're a Princess, you've got a thousand ponies serving you in the palace alone. All of them could have at least shown you how to do this properly if not do it for you." I pointed out before I could stop myself. I winced as I realized I allowed my incredible...crudités...incredulity get the best of me. I was half expecting her to do her wind-up toy impression again.

But she only winced at my words.

Frowning, I looked back down at my work. That was when I noticed them. They were faint and only really showed as the brush ran through her fur. There were scars, new and old, both cuts and burns, many better hidden by the frayed loose strands.

She didn't need to see my wide-eyed look to know what I was thinking. My pause mid-brushstroke probably told her. "A Princess does not bleed." Sona said, evenly, looking straight ahead. It was a simple statement, but spoke volumes through the scars hidden beneath the fur she never allowed anypony to brush. "Is that understood, Spike?" She demanded in her High Unicornian.

"Yes, Princess." My mouth spoke before my mind could even process the unsaid command, 'Never speak of this to anypony else'.

"I'm sorry you saw those, Sparks. You work the job long enough and you start to show it." She said, slipping back into her easy speech. I always thought she mostly safeguarded dreams and ran the guard from a cushy seat in Canterlot. I was under the impression her going out hunting the Cliffhanger was a one-time thing. I didn't realize it was a routine for the Princess of the Night.

I couldn't help but recall the time Tirek ran loose in Equestria. Even with all of us captured I remember believing everything would be alright. I knew in my heart of hearts that Twilight could not, would not lose against him no matter what.

And then she was defeated, her powers sucked dry.

I never knew despair, not real despair, not until that very moment.

The princesses are a symbol of Equestrian power, the very pinnacle of pony might. A battle they could not win was a battle nopony could win. And in a straight-up tooth-'n'-hoof fight Princess Luna was known to be the very toughest. Where her sister is a pillar of guiding wisdom, Princess Luna is a bastion of military cunning and martial prowess.

Is that what it's like to be Princess Luna? Never allowed to show any weakness? Not bleed? Not even hunger? Or be lost? Or...

Wait a moment, the reason she didn't use her wings to locate Ponyville....could she be....?

I quickly turned my eyes to the wings resting by her side, wrapped in the waterproof sleeves we used to avoid damaging the protective oil in pegasus wings. I should have noticed earlier when she winced as we slipped the sleeves on. I thought we had simply brushed a primary the wrong way and simply carried on. "Princess, you injured your right wing, didn't you?" I frowned at the wing in question.

Sona finally turned her neck to look at me over her withers, giving me a long calculating look. "I have tended to it thoroughly. It is mending. I know it may seem like I neglect myself, but it would be amiss for a pegasus warrior to disregard the care of her wings." She huffed, surprising me with her admission. I was expecting her to deny it like she denied everything else. I guess she knew I would fuss over it otherwise. "You are quite the nosy one, Spike. You would make an excellent super spy for the Equestrian Intelligence Service." She gave me a slow smile.

"Really? That'd be so aweso–..." I quickly stopped myself, realizing exactly what she was doing. I'm not an easily distractible baby dragon, not anymore! "Wait, no distracting me. This is serious! Is that why you split away from your squad? Because you didn't want them to notice you were injured?"

"Dear Spike, I..." She began, her tone firm. But the firm look in her eyes quickly melted into one of worry as she stared at me. "Spike?"

I wondered what she was staring at. A hiccup gave me a hint. That was when I realized my cheeks were wet, my shoulders trembling. "But...that's just...that's just so sad!" I blurted out before I gave another lame hiccup. Before I knew it I had rammed her, hugging her by the withers. She gave a little gasp. But, surprisingly, she made no effort to move away. Not that I was about to let her. I don't know why I did that. I probably doubled, no, tripled the lame. But I didn't care. If nopony had ever so much as brushed her fur let alone tend to her wounds then she was more than overdue a hug. And more besides.

Princess Luna gave a soft, resigned huff. To my surprise she didn't push me away. Instead, she curled her uninjured wing around me comfortingly. It felt real lame, being comforted by the pony I was trying to comfort. We stayed like that for a while. Against all expectations, she leaned into me, albeit awkwardly, as if she wasn't sure of what she was doing. I met her halfway, pulling her into a tighter embrace against myself. She seemed to finally find the assurance she sought, that certainty that this was alright. She allowed herself to lean into me, letting me take her full weight. She was very light, almost worryingly so. I slowly peered at her face. Her eyes were closed, head slowly tilting to one side. Then slowly, ponderously, she tilted the other way, like the world's slowest, most serene wind-up toy.

After a slow silence, she finally opened her eyes to look at me. "Hey, Sparks," She began, sounding uncertain, "Uh, could you please brush my mane and tail too? Y'know, the whole shebang?" She gave me a grin, playful if a little forced, "I need to look good if I'm gonna be standing next to you tonight, right?" She gave me a mischievous wink.

I wasn't a baby dragon anymore. I knew she was just letting me tend to her to make me feel better. But I wasn't about to waste the opportunity to allow this selfless pony a small bit of what she deserved. "Yeah." I nodded with a smile, blinking and shaking away my tears. "One shebang, coming right up, Princess."

I even found her a rubber duckie. That totally made her day. She named it 'OverDuck'.

By the Sun, she was adorable.

It was no mere mare that stepped out of the Ponyville spa later that evening. Heads were turned by the supple coat of rich dark blue, a velvet fur so soft and glossy it practically gleamed in the setting sun. The guests milling around the castle could only stare open-mouthed at the long silky tresses of regal indigo and noble moonsilver that cascaded in the air in her wake. It was no mere mare that stepped through the castle gate, taking with her the eyes of the guards supposedly watching the entrance. It was a goddess whose hoofsteps alone silenced the party guests as she arrived at the castle's banquet hall.

Yeah, sculpting beautiful goddesses, all in a day's work for ol' Spike. Never mind that we lost many good brushes and combs in the long, slow battle of attrition. I lost one in her mane, another in her tail and one snapped off and achieved low Equus orbit.

But it was so worth it.

I don't mean to brag or anything but I gotta admit it felt awesome standing there next to her. Silence reigned at our arrival. Ponies, nobles and townsponies alike, all stared, wide-eyed, half-drunk glasses of punch and bits of canape forgotten. A few even slid out of their respective hooves and magical holds, falling to the floor unheeded. A few random bits of confetti and streamers awkwardly fluttered down across the big banner proclaiming my birthday above. A large, tight knot of nobles at the head end of the hall slowly loosened as everypony turned to gape at us. They parted enough to reveal Blueblood at their core, midway through some intense speech. His voice slowly faltered as he realized nopony was listening to him anymore. He looked this way and that like a foal who had just lost his lollipop.

The sudden frown on his face was probably worth a fist-pump of triumph but I was far too preoccupied to even spare him another glance. The Moon herself had arrived at the party, radiant and mysterious. And she was my date. And I couldn't get rid of the stupid goofy smile on my face because it was just that awesome. Call me shallow or vain or whatever, but I had expected to be cast aside and ignored at my own birthday party at best, embarrassed by one mishap or another at worst. But this? Did I mention it was awesome? Because it totally was.

A set of crystal flugelhorns finally broke the silence, announcing the herald's proclamation. How did one of those stumble in on my birthday party? C'mon! "Uh, announcing the guest of honour, Spike of House Sparkle, Chief Steward of the Council of Friendship, and his companion, um...." The herald, a very smartly dressed unicorn mare, floundered a little, looking to Sona for help.

"Moonlight Sonata." Sona said, simply, curtsying gracefully in the direction of Twilight and the other Council members at the other end of the chamber. They could only stare open-mouthed back, much to my inner amusement. My eyes gravitated towards Rarity. She hadn't even bothered to hide the suspicious scowl on her face. Blueblood stood by her side, staring unblinkingly at my companion. Jealous, no doubt.

I felt a surge of vengeful glee for but a moment before I quickly buried it in a heap of guilt. 'No, I didn't bring Princess Luna here to get back at them', I mentally chastised myself. I am a grown dragon, I would not use other ponies like that, let alone Princess Luna.

"M-Moonlight Sonata of House Sonata, Countess of Buckingham." The poor herald barely finished before the nobles in the room suddenly erupted into urgent whispers.

"Sonata? That Sonata?!" One loud whisper carried over the rest.

"Here?! I've been trying to get an appointment with her for two years!"

"That can't be her?!"

"She's not even wearing a dress!"

"And no self-respecting pony would be caught dead with those ratty saddlebags."

True, we had left the spa so late that there was just no way we could find Sona a dress or stash away her military-issue saddlebags. I didn't even think it was necessary. I mean, I knew the nobles would be there, but I was expecting another simple sugarcube corner affair like our usual birthdays. Not a full-blown formal gala with flugelhorn heralds and everything. The invitations hadn't specified formalwear. And judging by how many of the underdressed townsponies were shying away from the overdressed nobles, we weren't the only ones.

But to her credit, Sona held her head high, weathering the whispers with a quiet grace befitting a princess. If anything, her lack of a dress and the contrast of her modest saddlebags only magnified her natural beauty. The longer the ponies stared, the more the whispers died away.

Sona patted me on the shoulder, giving me a gentle nod and an encouraging wink. It washed away any lingering doubts I had. There was no way I could look out of place at my own party, not as long as she was with me.

"Excuse me, Mr. Spike. I, Baron Sterling, on behalf of House Sterling, would like to wish you many happy returns of the day." A young unicorn stallion approached us. He held his nose high as if the very ground itself had mortally insulted his nostrils. Here was the common noble in his natural habitat.

"Uh, thanks." I said, uncertainly.

"If you would pardon my forwardness, may I please address the lady?" He cautiously asked me for permission to speak to Sona. That took me by surprise. From my little reading on the art of snootiness, it was a very traditional Canterlotian court etiquette, one quite a few have decried as sexist. I'm quite certain that, if it weren't for Sona, nopony would have even bothered to spare me a glance let alone sling Canterlot etiquette at me.

I looked over at Sona, meaning to leave it to her. But to my surprise she took a half-hoofstep back, placing me between herself and the stallion. She then gave me a demure look, leaving the decision to me. I didn't miss the stealthy wink though, urging me to play along. The nobles and even a few of the townsponies burst into whispers once more. I couldn't help but feel my heart flutter as I noticed they were mostly whispers of awe and approval at her impressive show of traditional court manners.

"If Sona is alright with it, you may." I gave the noble a nod. More hushed whispers, this time on my use of such a familiar nickname with this goddess.

"Ma'am, pardon my rudeness in asking, but are you indeed Moonlight Sonata, heiress and director of Sonata Banking?" The young stallion asked in what would have been a conspiring whisper if it hadn't carried across the entire silent ballroom.

"I am." She nodded with a knowing little smile.

The susurration of whispers ran through the crowd like a parasprite infestation, even among the townsponies. No wonder the name sounded familiar. It was big news just a few years back around the time the Crystal Empire reappeared. The reclusive noble house Sonata, owner of the entire Sonata banking industry, suddenly announced their heir, a young mare named 'Moonlight Sonata'. There was no shortage of rumours, only a shortage of public appearances on the part of the mysterious heiress.

The young stallion had obviously not thought this through as he stood there, awestruck. He gathered himself just enough to say something that sounded like 'Mimblewimble' before quickly retreating into the safety of the crowd.

"Uh," I floundered around for something to say, "Door." I said, very intelligently indicating that we were blocking the entryway.

"Well spotted, Sparks." She made a show of following me a half-hoofstep behind me to my right.

"You know, you don't have to do all that snooty stuff. Can't you walk beside me?" I was hoping she wasn't going to continue with all this demeaning decorum stuff all night. I mean, I wanted us to hang out as friends.

"Such a gentlecolt, Sparks." She gave a quiet giggle, "Treat him like a King, for you are a Queen." She whispered, giving me a wink. "If I start to snore though, I'll leave it to you to entertain me."

Understanding struck me. In making a show of making me look good in front of everypony, she made herself look even better. She wasn't joking when she said she was going to help me shine tonight, but I can tell she was getting a kick out of playing the game herself. "Heh, fine. Deal." I chuckled.

We safely got away from the door, making our way to a quieter corner of the party. The nobles seemed satisfied to stand back, whispering among themselves, trying to agree on what to make of Sona. The hubbub of the party finally picked up steam once more. Once I was certain it was loud enough to ensure we wouldn't be overheard, I whispered aside to her, "Are you really that Moonlight Sonata?"

"Come now, Sparks. What kind of question is that?" She rolled her eyes, giggling a little. An almost imperceptibly dim glow lit up her face. It took me a moment to realize she was casting a spell with her hidden horn as the noise around us died away. A privacy spell, no doubt.

"Oh, that's really cool." I said.

Her eyes followed my gaze to the soft glow around her hidden horn. "Well, yes, I have to put it away somewhere. Without it I wouldn't be able to change back." She said with an amused smile.

Oh yeah, duh.

Hmm, I wonder what'd happen if she ended up stuck in her pegasus form? That'd be all kinds of awkward, but fun, I guess.

"In answer your question, Sparks, I founded the banks shortly after sister and I took the throne." She explained, "Private banks can invest and sell loans more openly than a government bank, you see. It allowed us more freedom in driving the Equestrian economy. Following my return there were quite a few big projects requiring hefty investments including the revitalization of the Crystal Empire. Such ambitious undertakings required a little presence from the bank's owner. Hence the latest in a long line of Sonatas, Moonlight Sonata." She gave a little chuckle, "When I announced myself heir to the Sonata fortune, the picture of the sweet young mare in the newspaper alone pushed our share prices to record heights. I figured the little extra notoriety would help with our cause tonight."

That was a bit of an understatement, considering how loud arguments were breaking out amidst the ballroom chatter on the subject of the young heiress and her attending as my date.

"Wait a moment." I frowned, "That means you're going to have to somehow explain to Twilight how you're both a royal guard and the heir to Equestria's biggest banking chain." My mind raced. We had to improvise on Sona's cover story, and quick.

At least we had some time before...

"Hay, speak of the Cerberus. Look alive, Sparks. Your sister's coming this way. And she's bringing the cavalry too." The glow about Sona's head died away, taking the privacy spell with it. She nodded over my shoulder with a grin.

I looked around. My heart leapt into my throat. I struggled to gulp it back down. There, striding towards us, was Twilight. And she wasn't alone. Shining Armour was with her. That's cheating, Twilight, cheating! If anypony could see through Sona claiming to be a guardsmare, it would be the very Captain of the Royal Guard himself!

Hooboy. Time sure flies when you're having fun.

What do we do? Run for it? Pretend we're trees? Run for it while pretending we're trees? "I'll use the Parmesan cheese-graters to take on Shining while you toss some quesadillas out to distract Twilight. Then use the dumbwaiter to get away. Run for it and don't look back." I whispered urgently as I put myself between Sona and the oncoming enemy.

"I like your plan, Sparks. But I prefer a plan where my foes do all the running." Sona said with a smile. I could have sworn I saw a hint of excitement in there somewhere. Is somepony enjoying all the smoke'n'mirrors a little too much?

Sona stood to attention, clicking her hooves together, before snapping a salute so sharp she could have given herself a manecut. "Captain Armour, sir." She greeted the approaching captain.

"At ease, guardsmare." Shining returned the salute with practiced ease, appearing at least impressed by her show of military propriety. "Neither of us are on duty after all." He added with a half-smile.

"Sir, yes, sir." Sona returned the smile as she relaxed.

"That said, you have me at a disadvantage. And I can't reasonably demand your name and rank while we're off duty." Shining chuckled. His eyes never strayed from Sona's, however. Sona too held his gaze steadily. She would later tell me that it was the customary way for two ranking officers to size each other up. It was an old Pegasopolan military predecessor to the 'Stare', if you will. In a way she was already clueing the captain in on the fact that she was a ranking officer like him.

"You need only ask, sir. I am Field Commander Moonlight Sonata of the Long Patrol, sir." Sona replied.

"Field Commander?" Shining's eyes widened visibly. Sona would later tell me that 'Field Commander' was only one rank beneath 'Captain' in theory but would outrank any captain outside the division in the field. Basically, beyond home base, Shining had no authority over Sona. In reality, Princess Luna is the Commander-In-Chief of the Royal Guard. She only assumes the rank of 'Field Commander' when she's leading her Long Patrol unit.

"That's....but...you're too young!" Twilight seemed to voice Shining's question.

"I think that myself sometimes." Sona said with a modest smile.

"I'm afraid I've never heard of you, ma'am. Which unit, if you don't mind me asking?" Nopony missed the the 'ma'am' or the newfound note of cautious respect in Shining's voice.

Darn it, I was hoping Shining would back down to avoid being rude to a fellow officer. But if anything he appeared to have thrown all caution to the wind. Surely no standing Long Patrol unit had a commander named 'Moonlight Sonata'?

To my surprise Sona still had some tricks up her horseshoes. She made a show of flicking her eyes right and left, as if looking out for eavesdroppers. "Code Shadowbolt, sir." She finally whispered, barely moving her lips. I was just as surprised as Shining and Twi on hearing that. The Shadowbolts are an urban legend, a rumoured unit of the Long Patrol that operates outside the normal chain of command, one personally led by Princess Luna. Their operations were strictly off the record and therefore, very secretly, über-cool. It was like the Power Ponies but for real.

I can neither confirm nor deny the existence of such a unit. It's totally super awesome though.

The frown on Shining's face only grew as he carefully stepped close to Sona. "With all due respect, I'm going to have to ask you for your verification code, ma'am."

"Go ahead, Captain." Sona nodded with a faint smirk.

Shining lit up his horn. The sound around the two died down to nothing, suggesting a simple privacy spell of some sort. Sona's lips appeared to move, earning her a nod from the Captain.

"Thank you, Commander." Shining said as he finally dispelled the privacy barrier. He gave her a faint smile of admiration, one officer to another.

"It's my pleasure, Captain." Sona nodded. No doubt she had the actual special codewords for her own secret unit.

"Wait, so, she's really a...." Twilight blinked.

"Yes, obviously a very accomplished one too." Shining nodded at his little sister, giving her a warning look. 'Don't push it any further', it said. "It's always nice to see more young blood in the officer ranks. I mean, you know how it is." He gave Sona a look of approval. It was no secret that many of the older officers weren't very happy with Shining becoming Captain of the Guard. There had been no shortage of rumours of favouritism and bribery surrounding his promotion. It must have been nice for him to meet a kindred spirit, or so he probably thought.

I hope he never finds out Sona's real age.

"Yes, sir." Sona gave him a sympathetic look. Or was it one of triumphant glee? I couldn't tell with her sometimes.

"So you're both a guard commander and heir to a massive banking chain?" Twilight demanded, bits of her mane twanging out at dangerous angles.

"I've never had it pointed out that way before, but I guess I am, yeah." Sona gave an easy smile. "Y'know, that sounds pretty awesome now that you put it that way." She chuckled.

"But how...?" Twilight began. Considering Twi is Princess Celestia's former personal student, Element bearer, national hero and a Princess to boot, I found her disbelief a little off-target.

"I kinda just inherited the banks. They do a pretty good job of running themselves without me mucking about. I wanted to make something of myself by my own hooves and wings. So I joined the guard." Sona shrugged, "Guess the bosses felt I was a pretty decent guard." She looked over at me, giving me a fond smile. "Though for Sparks, I wouldn't mind leaving all that behind. Settle down here, look after him properly, that sort of thing." She gave me a mischievous little sideways smile, one eye watching Twilight for the inevitable meltdown.

"Wait, wha...?!" Twilight gasped, wide-eyed. "S-settle down?! A-aren't you skipping several steps?! Hug Zoo's 'The Start of War' suggests you begin with stuff like letters and photographs and waving at each other from a distance and...."

"We've had some really good letters, haven't we?" Sona gave me a wink and a nudge with her good wing. "His breath's real hot when he sends'em." She sighed, wistfully.

"Heh, yeah. We've totally moved past licking stamps." I chuckled, playing along. I never thought Princess Luna was the cheeky type but I could definitely live with that.

"Huh, what...?" I could practically see the smoke rising up out of Twi's mane.

"Looks like she's a keeper, Lil'Bro." Shining chuckled.

"A...keeper?" I looked up at Sona, her face radiant with giggles at Twilight's flustered look. A keeper? Mine? I stood speechless. I struggled to make sense of the sudden surge of feelings and thoughts. One familiar note tried to drown out the rest, 'Spike Want'. But before I could figure out what it meant, Shining snapped me out of my thoughts.

"Well, this was fun, the snacks were good, but I did kind of sneak out of the command cavalcade to come here. Hey, Lil'Bro, keep having birthdays so I can keep crashing them, alright?" Shining gave me a wide grin. Figures that Twilight would drag Shining out just to do this little background check on Sona.

"Only if you actually bother turning up, 'Big Bro'." I rolled my eyes at him.

"I'm always here for you, squirt." Shining chuckled, turning to Sona. "Enjoy your leave, Commander. Take care of my little brother, alright? He's a hoofful but you can't ask for a nicer guy in Equestria." He said, ruffling my spines with a forehoof.

"Hey! Cut that out." I growled, playfully.

"You know you love me, LBBFF." Shining laughed, hugging me in a choke-hold. I was a little short on air to reply.

"I'll take that as an order, Captain." Sona threw him another crisp salute. "I might start by helping my little liege get his breath back." She nodded at me.

"I'd rather not take any chances against a Long Patrol Field Commander if it's all the same to you." Shining chuckled, releasing me, allowing me my much-needed air. "Still, thank you, Commander. That means a lot to me." He snapped off his own salute. "Hey, Twily...." He turned to Twilight, quickly whispering something in her ear. Twilight's eyes slowly widened, her ears drooping flat against her mane. For a moment I felt an urge to rush over to give her a hug but Shining beat me to it, pulling his little sister into a tight hug. "Now, chin up. Give our brother a birthday to remember, okay?" He gave her one last grin before trotting off.

"O-okay," Twilight barely managed, ears perking up again. She called out after his retreating back one last time, "Hey, BBBFF, give Cadence my love, alright?"

"Sure thing!" Shining gave Twilight and I one last wave before disappearing into the crowd.

Before I could get a word in to Twilight, a bowl of punch beat me to the, well, punch. A mass of what looked like damp pink cotton candy rose up out of the primordial soup made of pure sugar and Apple Family cider, breathing heavily through a snorkel like some vengeful galactic overlord. "No, Spike, I am your beverage." The cotton candy said to me, before ripping its snorkel off, "Spike! This is no time for silly irrelevant parodies! This is serious!" A very desperate Pinkie Pie pulled me up by my cheeks, pressing her muzzle against my nose. "We. Have. No. Music!" She looked on the verge of hysterics. But on second thought she always did.

"Why? What happened to Octavia?" I asked, doing my best not to lick the sticky droplets of punch streaming down my muzzle.

"The Cutie Mark Crusaders turned her cello into a ballista-thingy to try and launch Scootaloo to the moon!" Pinkie cried, "It was a pretty good plan, actually, except they got Scootaloo and the cello the wrong way around and launched the cello to the moon instead. Who knew Scoots would make a good launchpad?"

"They did what to the moon?" Sona's left eye twitched dangerously.

"Vinyl's giving Octavia a ride home on her DJ-mobile to fetch her contrabass instead but she's gonna be a while longer." Pinkie cried in panic. "Oh, and the Cutie Mark Crusaders didn't get their cutie marks, by the way. Just so you know. And that's terrible because we still have no music! And with no music we can't start the opening dance!"

"Can't you play some music, Pinkie?" Twilight asked, giving the party guests a worried look. Sure, the little show with Sona will give them something to talk about for a while. But it won't be long until ponies start wondering when the party will start.

"Yeah, you have your one-pony band." I pointed out.

"I can't play fancy-dancey music!" Pinkie shook her head. "Well, I can. But the nobles would just hate it. Again." She hung her head, ears drooping disconsolately. No doubt she was still bothered by how her Pony Pokey was received at that first Grand Galloping Gala. It's not her fault the nobles have cauliflowers for ears. "No, no, no, this party means a lot to my friends. Not just anypony will do." She pulled out a violin and bow from her mane, setting her eyes on Sona. "Thanks for volunteering, mysterious mystery mare of mystery."

"I did what?" Sona tilted her head to one side, quizzically.

"C'mon, we all know you're gonna do it. We all know the big musical number simply must feature you. It's all up to you now, mystery mare!" Pinkie declared.

Sona gave me a questioning look. I just shrugged in response. Arguing with Pinkie is like trying to argue with double parking. They will defy logic no matter what you say. "So, where is the safety? And which side launches ponies at the moon?" She asked, looking the instrument over. "What? Is this not a miniature version of that moon launcher you were talking about?" She asked, noticing the looks on our faces.

Twilight and I shared mortified looks. We were hung out to dry, growing more and more uncomfortable under Sona's questioning look. Neither of us wanted to be the one to explain to Sona that the violin was not, in fact, a miniature moon ballista. I mean, where do you even start?

That was when Sona broke into a fit of delighted giggles. Twilight and I could only stare, open-mouthed. Pinkie was quick to join in, not one to be left out of what I guess was a pretty good joke.

The hubbub in the room suddenly grew louder, more urgent. Something was happening. "What's the commotion?" Twilight frowned, looking around at the crowd. "Oh, I hope the guests aren't getting restless." Restless was a bit of an understatement. There were a few gasps and excited murmurs from a knot of ponies at the banquet hall entrance. I already had a bad feeling I knew exactly who they were gathered around. But I joined the others in craning my neck to get a good look anyway.

I would have loved to say it was Tirek. But no, it had to be Blueblood. Who else?

It would appear he had come to the entrance to meet with a pony I recognized as his valet, a well-dressed off-white unicorn named 'Strings Attached'. And they were making a very grand show of 'secretly' passing a...is that a ring? I didn't have to wonder long. The murmurs and whispers ran through the crowd like wildfire, quickly reaching me. The words 'engagement ring' and 'proposing tonight' sailed right past me like a merciless tsunami, leaving me to drown in their wake.

He was taking Rarity? Here? At my birthday party?

"Wait. He's doing what, where, NOW?!" Twilight gasped, putting my disbelief into words better than I ever could. "Is he even half-aware of where we are?!"

"Princess Twilight, do you have a copy of the order of ceremony for tonight?" Sona asked, a note of urgency in her voice.

"Uh, yes." Twilight mumbled, distractedly, half-unwittingly levitating a list from some secret pocket in her dress.

"Thank you." Sona swiped the list out of the air with her one good wing, her eyes quickly scanning down it. "I see, there was to be the opening dance led by the guest of honour, the second and third dance, then a 'speech on behalf of the royal family' before a speech from Princess Twilight and the cutting of the cake." She looked up at me, her expression even. Her eyes, however, were ablaze with cold fury.

And then cold hard realization hit me. "That's how he plans to overshadow me." I whispered, dread frosting over inside me, freezing something inside my chest, "He's going...he's going to propose." The word felt heavy on my lips, heavier still on my heart.

"But he's hurrying his schedule." Sona looked up from the schedule to see Blueblood striding with purpose back up towards the head-end of the hall, his eyes resolutely fixed upon Rarity.

I felt my heart burn with sudden righteous anger. No! Not Rarity! Not here! Not now!

"He was going to do this after the dance, surely after creating a suitably romantic moment. That would have made more sense, if only slightly." Sona thought out loud, a thoughtful forehoof on her chin. "It would be inappropriate no matter when he did it tonight, but now would be especially awkward. Is he really that desperate?"

I quickly sought out Rarity in the crowd. It wasn't difficult. The ponies gave Blueblood a wide berth, parting smoothly to create a path straight up to her at the end of the hall. I was hoping, almost pleading, that Rarity would look disgusted, offended at his choice of place and timing. I had faith in her. She's a strong mare. She's got standards. She'd see through this pathetic charade and....

What was left of this thing in my chest burned away into cold ash, leaving something frozen and hollow.

Rarity looked happy. Incredibly happy. Happier than I could ever hope to make her. And in mere moments she would be happier than I'll ever be able to make her, ever.

Everything else faded away. I barely registered the muffled obscenities Rainbow Dash was trying to shriek through the hooves Applejack had clamped over her muzzle. I almost didn't feel Twilight's forehoof on my shoulder, the look on her face a mix of shock-horror and regret. There was nothing anypony could do. There was nothing I could do. Blueblood had won. It would leave no doubt in the minds of the nobles here who exactly was the go-to stallion tonight. He would have the trust of the nobles, the power of the Council and, above all, Rarity. I'm sure that even my seat would be his sooner or later. And I was helpless. Again.

"Ms. Pinkie Pie." Sona's cool voice cut through all the lame like a knife. "The goods, please."

"Aye, aye, ma'am!" Pinkie tossed her the violin along with what looked like a bottle of snow-glitter and a Hooves-Lab package labelled 'Not-flammable, handle with care - That means you, Ditzy'.

"Sparks!" Sona hoofed over the snow glitter, package and violin bow to me. "You know what to do." She shrugged her saddlebags off with practiced ease, kicking a hindhoof free of the straps.

"I do?" I blinked, looking down at the items in my claws.

"Now is not the time for talk." Sona stepped forth into the crowd with grim purpose, twirling the violin in her good wing like a maestro. "It is time for war."

More whispers spread across the room faster than the champagne, spreading outwards in Sona's wake like a rainboom. Everypony craned their necks to get a good look at her and her violin. 'The mystery mare is going to play the opening song', they all whispered. I could almost see the ripple of whispers collide with the wave of murmurs sparked by Blueblood. Sona's ripples simply washed over Blueblood's waves as a rising moon would banish darkness. One by one, heads turned away from the prince. It wasn't long before every single eye was held captive by Sona sailing gracefully across the floor towards the circular crystal stage in the middle of the hall.

But Blueblood would not be denied, not so easily. He carried on, hoofsteps filled with determined purpose. Rarity held his gaze, as if hoping to bridge the distance across the hall with her eyes alone. Her look seemed to fill him with a bold certainty. He smirked, sure of his triumph.

The race was on; Sona to the stage, Blueblood to Rarity. Blueblood was ahead but Sona had a shorter battlefield to cross. The winner would take the floor. The victor would command the evening. The conqueror would take everything.

That was when I realized Sona had left her violin bow with me.

She Likes To Sing and (Kinda) Dance

My eyes darted back and forth between the two. Blueblood was picking up his pace. He had taken notice of Sona, eyeing her worriedly out of the corner of his eye. The end of the hall where the rest of the council stood was just a horseshoe-toss away from him. One more glance at Sona told him he was still ahead, but only by a breezie length.

Sona didn't rush. She gently sailed across the floor, graceful and serene, every step resounding with mighty purpose.

The prince stopped short, his path blocked. A knot of ponies stood at the end of the hall, obstructing the way up to the raised platform where the Council members stood. The ponies were too mesmerized by the mare of mystery to notice his look of frustration. He looked like he was about to push them aside when he recognized two of the figures in his way. They were Rainbow Dash and Applejack. Both were making a pointed show of watching Sona, hooves planted firmly in his way. The prince opened his mouth, preparing to say something. But the few seconds of surprise on his part gave Sona all the time she needed.

Sona reached the stage.

Blueblood faltered.

The room went reverentially quiet as the dark blue pegasus finally climbed the circular steps to the top of the stage. She didn't need the spotlight; Everything from her silky mane to her glossy coat practically glowed with her presence. Her very mystery commanded everypony’s attention, sparing nopony and nodrake.

She placed a hoof upon the stage’s summit and, with all the grace of angel, rose up to face the crowd. She gazed out across the banquet hall. The banners, ribbons and decorations faded into nothingness behind her. There was just her and her violin.

For a moment, she felt as distant as the moon and stars. She was a stranger beyond anypony's reach, let alone mine. That strange feeling overcame me again, those alien thoughts clamouring for attention; 'Want. Spike Want!'

She gazed down at her violin, taking a slow, deep breath. A few chuckles and snorts dotted the hall. One pony next to me sniggered to another, “She forgot her bow.”

“That’s just adorable.” Another chuckled.

I looked down at the bow in my claw.

No, it wasn’t an accident. She said I’d know what to do. Things would turn awkward if I let things drag on long enough for me to carry the bow up to her. It might even give Blueblood the time he needed to finally get to Rarity. Throw it at her? No, that was a Spike-brand mishap waiting to happen. If only I was a unicorn, I’d be able to levitate it over to her. Or fly it to her if I were a pegasus. But I’m stuck being a dragon.

Wait. I’m a *dragon*.

That’s *it*!

I took a deep breath. I felt the familiar rumble build up in my belly, the rising heat tickling my throat. I spun the bow into the air above me, turning a few heads here and there. With a dull roar (more for the audience than anything), I blew a pillar of emerald flame into the air. The bow erupted into viridian sparks that spiralled together to form a brilliant emerald comet.

The ponies gave a loud gasp as the comet whizzed around the ceiling, trailing bright green stardust in its wake. It settled into an orbit around its chosen heavenly body, the mare of mystery. Then, with effortless ease, as if it were just a daily routine for the two of us, Sona raised a forehoof into the air and pulled the comet out of its orbit. She swung the comet through the rest of its arc as the bow materialized in her hoof, as if she were pulling the instrument right out of thin air in a shower of flaming green sparks.

She caught my gaze in hers. She favoured me with a fond smile. And just like that, the longing in my heart simmered away. This mare was looking at me. This goddess was smiling at me. And when she finally spoke, she spoke to me and only me, "Did I ever mention you blow the best kisses, Sparks? Because you do." She hid an adorable giggle behind her good wingtip, though it did nothing to hide the endearing blush on her cheeks. Warm laughter filled the hall. Not a single heart in the room survived unscathed, definitely not mine. I didn't know a pool of warm goo could beat this fast and hard. "Happy Birthday, Sparks." She said to me. The warmth and tenderness in her bright emerald eyes said everything else. Every single pony in the room could feel it, their eyes turning to me in a mix of admiration and envy.

It wasn't until much later that I realized that she had played every single pony in the room like a fiddle long before she got to her actual violin.

I was so transfixed by her brilliance that it took me a while to realize I had lost sight of Blueblood. The prince had melted away into the crowd. No doubt he realized he had lost the floor and had made a quick retreat to save face.

Sona's smile mirrored my own triumphant smirk. "Fillies and Gentlecolts," She turned to face the audience, "Yes, this is indeed a violin. I know how to use it. Do not be afraid." She reassured everypony. This earned her a smattering of chuckles, "I have a license for it." Even more laughter. "A guard checked everything the other day when I tried to bring my violin case inside my own bank. I think it was all the frightened looks the tellers and customers were giving me. I mean, I'm not that bad at the violin. I haven't shattered any windows lately." She put on an innocently puzzled look, earning her more uproarious laughter. "Worst case scenario, you have the Council of Friendship in here with you. I wouldn't be the first violinist to get rainbow-zapped by royal order." The roof was almost lifted by all the laughter.

I was probably the only one in the room not sharing in the amusement. I was too busy gaping in wide-eyed awe. Princess Luna was cracking casual jokes, tickling every single pony at my birthday party. This is the same Princess Luna who once watched with rapt attention as Twilight threw toy spiders at a nightmare night stall to explain to her the concept of 'fun'. I could see in my mind Princess Luna studying joke books late into the night, practicing smiling in front of a mirror for days on end. How long had she worked so hard to get to where she was now? How long had she waited for the opportunity to show off her hard work?

Probably a long, long while now, judging by the radiant smile on her face.

"Nopony’s run away yet? Good. That means you’re all stuck in here with my music. So you might as well join me in honouring our birthday-colt with tonight's opening dance." She declared, giving me a nod. She gently sat back on her haunches, holding the violin against her neck with one hoof, the bow in another, her one good wing poised to stroke the frets.

And then she sang.

And the world stood still.

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"Once upon a time

We lived a fairytale

Fate in verse and rhyme

So certain of our

Happily Ever After

"You would cross the stars

Reach me from afar

Raise me full of wonder

Fill our sky with colour

"Our Love Everfree"

I suddenly remembered the bottle of glitter-snow entrusted to me. I uncapped the bottle and tossed the glitter high into the air. I took careful aim and blew a few gentle balls of flame up at the cloud of glitter. Several little comets trailing emerald sparkles soared out of their glow. They spiralled around the singing pegasus, sprinkling glittery snow in their wake, creating a miniature galaxy around her. Everypony held their breaths as her radiant glow embraced the entire room.

"The whole world I'd face

One hoof is all I need

For as long as one

Is ever held in your embrace

Even the sky I'd raise

"Love will see us through

As we light the stars

Together raise the moon

And make the night sky ours

Forever always to bloom

"Once upon a time

We lived a fairytale

Fate in verse and rhyme

So certain of our

Happily Ever After

Our Love Everfree

"Once upon a time

Fate in verse and rhyme

Our Love Everfree"

She played with a faint smile, her eyes closed as if in a blissful trance. She swayed to the enchantment of her own slow, hopeful melody. The dance floor remained empty. Nopony could dance. They could hardly move. They were enraptured by the soft, bittersweet magic of the song. The young would gape, their hearts filled with feelings they struggled to understand. The elderly would sigh, recalling some fond old memory.

I saw Button Mash slowly reach out for Sweetie Belle's hoof, subtly sidling closer to her. I saw Cherilee softly lean into Big Mac as the stallion rested his muzzle upon her mane. I saw Mr. Cake gently pull Mrs. Cake into a tight embrace. I saw Cranky Doodle stealthily kissing a blushing Matilda on her forehead. Nopony was spared from the embrace of her song.

I was totally not super conscious of how empty the space beside me was, or how far away Sona seemed.

She slowly opened her eyes as she sang the last verse. My heart skipped. She was looking at me. Every eye in the room followed her gaze to me. I forgot that it was all just make-believe. I was over the moon. I wanted the moment to last forever. I wanted her to never look away, to look at me and only me.

'Want. SPIKE WANT.'

I released a breath I didn't even realize I was holding as the last note faded on her lips. I suddenly realized I had a claw over my chest, struggling to keep it from erupting. I wasn't alone. The whole room was silent. Everypony stood stunned in everything from awe to rapture.

Somepony finally broke the silence with a hoofstomp. Then another. I suddenly realized it was me. More and more ponies joined in, clopping in applause. The ovation shook the floor and rattled the windows, threatening to raise the very roof. The mystery mare on the stage curtsied gracefully in humble gratitude, raising even more applause and cheers, even a few wolf-whistles and catcalls.

I felt a sudden urge to stomp on somepony's hooves really, really hard.

"By golly, ol' chap, your marefriend sure can carry a right tune." Fancy Pants leaned in close to whisper to me.

"My Celestia! Hay, Spike, does your marefriend have any sisters?" Thunderlane asked, not even bothering to put away his flared wings.

"My...marefriend?" I tasted the word. It felt...surprisingly good.

'Mine. MINE.'.

Sona finally gave the crowd a gentle smile. The hoofstomps of applause died away into respectful silence in response. "Oh, the dance floor is empty." Sona cocked her head to one side in a show of bewilderment, a quizzical wingtip on her chin. "You know, that reminds me of the last time I played for the Long Patrol. Except that time there was a hydra waiting right behind me." She said, earning herself another round of laughter. "I think it was deaf." She added, to more uproarious laughter. "And it wasn't my fault for once." The very hall shook with mirth. “So, I take it that song was too slow for you? Need something with a little more canter in it?" She smirked, raising her fiddle once more. "Alrighty then. But lemme tell you, this song got even that hydra moving. So try and keep up, okay?" She cast a mischievous grin around the room. She put bow to fiddle and took a slow, deep breath.

"There's a farm of great renown..."

She sang, eyes closed, her fiddle silent.

"...Where they brew a cider brown.

The Moon came rolling down the hill

on Summer Sun's Day to drink her fill."

She opened her eyes and tapped her forehooves on the stage, drumming up a steady rhythm as she drew a long, hearty note on the fiddle. And suddenly the very air erupted with a tune so powerful not a single hoof could remain still.

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"With a thirsty fiddle did this mare

play a twiddle drunk and fair

ponies far and wide were seen

to dance a jig upon the green

"Brought by the fiddle

With their briddles in a twiddle

to the middle of the muddle

Did everypony dance the diddle

The Moon in a drunken fuddle

slipped in a puddle and

the whole world went a'reelin'!

"As the fiddle played a twiddle

did the sun sleep till Hearthswarmin' Eve!

"Hay!"

"Ponies neighed and chomped their bits

For the merry Moon had lost her wits!

Unicorns danced'n'pegasi flung their spells

And the earth ponies did fly and yell

"Play faster, Moon, Faster

Because we all want to dance like that!

"Hay!"

"With a thirsty fiddle did this mare

play a twiddle drunk and fair

ponies far and wide were seen

to dance a jig upon the green

"The Moon did play the fiddle wild

Gambol and canter, gallop and trotter

Spin all akimbo like a windmill sailing

Whirl and whorl and sing what ho!

'Cause the Moon's strings are singing

As the whole wild world goes flailing!

"As the fiddle played a twiddle

did the sun sleep till Hearthswarmin' Eve!

"Hay!"

She danced. Boy, did she dance. Sure, she danced just like Twilight, if you were generous enough to call that dancing. If it weren't for the music's distraction somepony would've surely called the paramedics in. I'm pretty sure limbs shouldn't be jerking and spasming like that. Was dancing like a slinky in a washing machine something burned into alicorn genes or something?

Still, she somehow managed to keep the beat with her hooves, all while carrying the rapidfire tune on her violin. If anypony noticed her pseudo-seizure on the stage, nopony showed it. Everypony was far too busy stomping and jumping on the dance floor. It might be pure country fare but everypony from the oldest townspony to the most reserved noble couldn't resist moving their hooves to the beat.

"Wheeeeee!" Pinkie had leapt to the occasion, literally, swinging off the disco ball above. Unicorn horns lit up in the excitement, casting lights of every hue across the walls as the party truly came alive.

"Your marefriend's aaaaaaaaaaaawesome!" Rainbow cheered as she and the other pegasi took to the air, pairing up to dance midair jigs.

"Stop your marefrieeeend, she's gonna put me out of a job!" Lyra Heartstrings wailed as she led an army of ponies on a wild rendition of the Ponyville river dance.

"My marefriend." I repeated under my breath. I felt the words touch a chord somewhere inside me. 'Mine. WANT.'.

"Play faster, Moon, Faster, Because we all want to dance like that!"

Sona sang at the top of her voice, her wing and bow a wicked blur on the tortured violin. I could practically see the smoke rising up out of the creaking wood. The wide smile on her face spoke to me; She was truly enjoying herself as I'd never seen her done before. It was as if she had cast aside all inhibitions and reservations she had as....as a Princess.

Realization struck me. This was no act. There was no way her seizure-like dancing could be part of an act. This was Luna when you strip her of all the trappings and adornments of a princess.

This was Luna, not the princess but the mare.

And she was beautiful. Breathtakingly beautiful. Want. Want! SPIKE WANT!.

"As the fiddle played a twiddle

did the sun sleep till Hearthswarmin' Eve!"

She whooped.

"Hay!"

The ponies cheered along to the song. Hats, jackets, hors d'ouvres and one random Scootaloo were tossed high into the air.

"With a thirsty fiddle did this mare

play a twiddle drunk and fair!

Ponies far and wide were seen

to dance a jig upon the green!"

Sona did it. It turned out I wasn't imagining the smoke. The violin actually burst into flame. But nopony paid it any mind, not even the fiddler herself. She just carried on playing the flaming fiddle, even as she jumped and jigged off the edge of stage to fall straight into the jiving crowd. The dancing ponies caught her in their outstretched forehooves and half-carried her, half-tossed her towards me. A flustered Octavia and an excited Fiddly Faddle took the stage in her place, picking up her tune seamlessly.

Big Mac and Bulk Biceps were the last to catch Sona before tossing her straight at me. She twirled gracefully in midair, tossing her flaming violin aside like a wedding bouquet. Ponies in one corner of the room actually leapt over one another to catch the active fire hazard. Somehow it was Ditzy who caught it to the excited cheers of the crowd. Nopony even bothered to pause and consider the fact that Ditzy Doo was holding an open flame. Nopony cared. There was too much dancing to do!

I froze as Sona's shadow grew large enough to engulf me. Everypony around me stepped back, leaving me dead in the centre of Sona's landing zone. They were all cheering me on. That was when I suddenly realized I was expected to actually catch sixty pounds of rambunctious pegasus out of the air. I absentmindedly wondered if they'd still cheer a Spike-shaped smear on the dance floor. But the expectant grin on Sona's face as she sailed towards me put all doubts out of my mind.

SPIKE WANT! MIIIIIIINE!.

I'd catch her. By golly I'd catch her or die trying. Never mind that I'd probably be flattened either way. I reached up into the air to catch her. She reached out towards me. We met halfway. I gazed deep into her bright emerald eyes as she curled her forehooves around me. She smiled fondly at me as I wrapped her in my embrace.

WANT! WA-....

Something new arose within me, drowning out the strange frantic feelings that had bugged me all evening. It was an odd, calm certainty. It was a deep, unwavering happiness. She was happy, incredibly happy. I could tell it was the happiest she had ever been. Her eyes revealed everything and hid nothing. And I was part of it. By Celestia, I was part of her incredible happiness! And it was all I could ever want; For her to be happy, happier, always and forever happy. I felt complete, whole, and I could never want for anything more.

I felt my grip on her grow firm. My chest and shoulders broadened to better support her elfin figure. My feet struck the ground, anchoring me to the earth, to better keep her safe. My embrace grew to catch all of her in my arms. My very muscles stretched to better protect her in my hold.

It was an easy feat to swing her out of her flight and into a tight spin across the dance floor. Together we spun, she around me, I around her, like Equestria and the Moon.

Fireworks suddenly whizzed up into the air all around us, erupting into brilliant blooms of multi-coloured light. I was wondering where I left that Hooves-Labs package. Huh, so that's what it contained; those funky flameless fireworks from that one wedding.

"Wow, Sparks! You grew!" Sona gasped, wide-eyed, as we spun round and round each other.

"Heh, yeah. I don't know what it is, but it feels awesome!" I grinned back at her, too caught up in the moment to care.

"You look real cool, Sparks." Sona whispered in a voice only I could hear, "Really cool."

I soared. I felt my heart rise up and up. The world couldn’t hold me down. Because she was carrying me up with her.

If the audience had noticed anything at all about my body, they didn't show it. The crowd had cleared a wide circle, stomping and cheering for us. Something had erupted into flames somewhere. Somepony was shouting something about a flaming violin. There was a frantic raincloud-line forming in the air. There were more explosions as somepony decided to try and douse the fire with hard apple cider. But we didn't care. At that very moment there was just her smile of pure joy. My world was just this mare in my arms. Her happiness was everything.

She landed on the dance floor in a wild canter as we carried on skipping and jiving around one another. It struck me that neither of us could dance. By ourselves we were just flailing and hopping like windmills in a firestorm. But together we were mirroring each other, complimenting each other's crazed thrashing, creating something that was actually worthy of the circle's cheers.

"Go Squiiiiirt!" Rainbow yipped.

"Show'em, sugarcube!" Applejack whooped.

"YEAAAAH!" Even Bulk Biceps had to contribute.

"Sonata!" The crowd cheered.

"Spike!" The crowd roared.

"Fiiiiiiire!" Ditzy squeaked.

"Sonata!"

"Spike!"

"Sonata!"

"Spike!"

The night melted away into a haze of pure awesome. Some bits of it probably burned too.

And she was happy. And I was happy that she was happy. And I could never want for anything more.

"Spike, my good fellow, happy birthday! Time sure does fly, does it not?" A smooth and plummy gray stallion I barely recognized was the next one to pull me into yet another chummy chat. What was his name again? Cheese grate? Bed Sit? Jet Setter? Yeah, that’s probably it.

"Sure does, Mr. Jet Setter. Thanks." I gave him a friendly nod. A pretty big throng of ponies, both nobles and townsponies alike, had gathered towards the head-end of the hall. And at its centre was the star of the show. Yep, that's right, it was the one and only Spike.

"It's 'Jet Set', actually." He said, before quickly adding, "But you can call me 'Jet Setter' if you like. I like that. In fact I like it lots!" He declared with a loud guffaw, "Now, Spike, my good fellow, I must admit I never looked at Ponyville properly before. Or tasted its cider." He dropped his voice into a conspiring tone, "And I say, coming down here for your birthday has opened up my eyes. Or basted my tongue, of course."

"Of course," I agreed with whatever he was saying. I didn't really get it but it sounded important, whatever it was.

"With the council in power and Lady Sonata beside you, confidence in Ponyville investments will soar! And I want first bite of the pie, so to speak!" He pulled me close to him, waving a forehoof into the middle distance at all the invisible investment pies in the air. "Now, do you think you can cajole her Excellency, Ms. Applejack, into accepting an investment of one hundred thousand bits to expand her cider production so we might have enough to export across Equestria and beyond? Hmm?"

"Well..." I scratched my chin thoughtfully, more to force my lips from smiling madly than anything, "I'm going to have to speak to my assistants and get back to you, but...." Before I could finish I was already being pulled aside by another pony jockeying for my precious attention.

"Spike, dearest." It was another noble, a golden-custard mare with a curled peach mane. With how close she was leaning into me, batting her eyelashes at me, I barely recognized her as Baroness Swan Song. "Why have you waited oh so long to invite me to one of your parties? See, the girls and I were starting to think you're much too exclusive for us." She pouted at me playfully. She peered around before dropping her voice to a secretive whisper, "See, you know how Yakyakistan are really close with the Council now? The yaks would only trade with Ponyville and you know how they produce the most heavenly Yak wool. See, Equestria, neigh, the whole world needs high fashion produced with that wool, and the girls and I want in. We're hoping you and Lady Sonata might..." She didn’t get to finish as yet another pony squeezed into the fray.

"Spike, Ol' Chap, a word if you please!" Fancy Pants slapped me companionably on the back, prying me loose from Swan Song’s hold.

"Spike, buddy, have I got a sweet pot to share with you and your lady!" A dark gray stallion I recognized as Davenport, owner of Ponyville Sofas and Quills, cut off my retreat.

"Mr. Spike, sir, I'm Silver Quill of Canterlot Times. Can I please have a statement on..." A pony waving a camera and flashbulb called over the crowd.

"Sir Spike, I represent Stable-Tec incorporated, and..." A shady mare spoke up.

"Spiiiike! The horse-of-offers buffet table is on fiiiire!" Ditzy squeaked over the din, pointing a hoof at the hors d'oeuvres table that was, in fact, still on fire.

"Sir Spike!"

"Spike, buddy!"

"Mr. Spike, sir!"

"Spike, my friend...."

Everypony's callin' for the Spike. Everypony wants a piece of the dragon. But there was more than enough of me to go around. Because I'm big like that. Ponies wanted to talk to me. Ponies listened to me. And this time it's not just because I’m trying to sing the Cloudsdale national anthem. It’s not just because they thought I was speaking on Princess Twilight Sparkle's behalf. Nope. I'm done with playing second fiddle. I'm my own dragon now, the dragon on everypony's lips.

And it's all because...

Because...

I slowly looked around me.

There was a massive herd of ponies around me. There was no shortage of ponies fighting to be next to me. But that space next to me felt emptier than ever.

Because she wasn't next to me.

A sudden violent emptiness took hold of me. It wasn't a loss, no. It was worse. It was a deep, dark pit of dread that suddenly opened up in my stomach.

Where was she? What if she's hungry again? What if she got lost? What if she hurt her other wing? What if she caught fire? Because, y'know, that buffet stable is still sorta on fire.

"Excuse me." I said, pushing my way out of the throng. "Please, gimme some room." I got a little rough as I shoved and elbowed a path through the pony pile. "Everypony, I can feel Discord preparing to send me his present by dragonfire. I'd rather not burp whatever joke he sends all over you." I finally resorted to underhoofed tactics. It was even more effective than Shining and Cadence’s snog-shield. A very wide circle clear of ponies very quickly formed around me. "Thanks."

I quickly left the bewildered circle of ponies behind as I searched around frantically, hunting for any hints of dark blue and pale moonsilver. As I searched, I slowly came to a very obvious conclusion; I'm a moron. There is only one pony I wanted next to me. No amount of other ponies could ever replace her. How could I have let all these other ponies distract me from her?

I prowled the hall, feverishly searching for that sweet grin, that adorable blush. I wanted them back. I didn’t want her to just disappear on me now that the show was over. I didn’t want her bright smiles and silvery laughter to just end tonight. I wanted them to last tomorrow. And the day after. Every single day for as long as I could help it. Because she deserves it. Heavens knows she deserves it. I have no idea why I felt that way, why it felt like something between grim desperation and titillating happiness. And I didn’t care. I just wanted to see her.

There I stood at the end of the grand hall. A large glass double door stood open, revealing a spacious balcony overlooking Ponyville. And there I found her.

Her petite frame looked so small against the wide, darkening sky. She was sat on her haunches, peering intently at the horizon. There, cresting out above the gathering black clouds, was the moon, casting its silver glow across her radiant face. She looked so calm, so serene, as she basked in the gentle moonlight.

Gosh, she’s so adorable when she’s raising the moon….

Oh, right, she had to go raise the moon. Because she's the Princess. Of the Night. And stuff. Right. Yeah, nothing to worry about here. I could just go back to….uh...keeping an eye on her. Yep, that’s what I’d do. I peered out at her from the door. You know, just in case. I mean, that dark thunderstorm blowing over from the Everfree Forest looked pretty nasty. And she was so small. What if one gust of wind was all it took to blow her away? She'd get lost and muddy again, and I’d have to go find her and bring her home and wash her clean and….

"Spike." The sudden voice triggered something I call the ‘cookie-jar reflex’, conditioned by many years of being caught by that voice with my claw stuck in a cookie jar.

"Uh, I wasn't doing anything! Honest!" I whirled around. "T-Twilight!" I gasped, almost stumbling backwards from the force of her glare.

"We need to talk, buster." The Princess of Friendship growled as she slowly loomed over me. "But first, are you alright?" Her dark scowl slowly gave way to a worried frown. "Do you remember who I am?" Her voice suddenly shook, a hint of a whimper creeping into it.

The question chilled me to the core. What could she possibly mean? How could I ever forget her? That was impossible! Never! Not in forever and ever!

"O-of course I do!" I gasped, "I'd never ever forget you, Twilight. You're my BSBFF!" I cried. I had never been more frightened by a mere question in my entire life.

Twilight took a deep breath, looking immensely relieved. "And just to be sure, how do I like my quesadillas?" She asked, pointedly.

"Twilight, quesadillas scare the purple out of you." I said, flatly.

"Phew. Looks like the greed hasn't eaten your brain again." My unicorn sister breathed a sigh of relief.

"What? My brain? Greed?" I blinked, struggling to make sense of her words, "What do you mean?" I mean, I don’t remember much of what happened that time my greed made me grow fifty sizes over a slice of birthday cake, but I’m pretty certain no brains were eaten, much less my own.

"Never mind." Twilight sighed, shaking a hoof dismissively. "What's more important is, you grew bigger. Again. Did you accept gifts from somepony?" She demanded, her tone dead serious.

"You know I don't take birthday presents anymore, Twilight. The only ones I received today were yours." I muttered, crossing my claws across my chest. I can't believe she didn't trust me. I'm a grown dragon. I'm totally responsible. Most of the time.

"Wait, you mean it's my fault you grew bigger this time?" Twilight gasped, clutching her head with her forehooves.

"Twi, we don't know that for sure. I mean, even I don't know what the hay's going on, and last I checked it is kinda my body." I raised both claws calmingly. Their effects were lost on Twilight.

"No, no, no! We've been so careful! This can't happen now!" She squeaked, her mane twanging out at odd angles, "I mean, my glamour spell is keeping everypony from noticing it, but it'll only hold out for as long as you don't grow any bigger! If we don't figure out the trigger in time, you might grow even bigger and shatter my spell! And there'd be panic on the streets and....."

"Oh." Realization struck me, "So that's why nopony has noticed me go supersize." Sudden relief washed over me. I narrowly dodged an ursa there. After the whole giant-dragon-rampage thing, it took Twilight and I months to convince the ponies of Ponyville that I wasn't a danger to anypony. I was already on my second chance. I doubt I'd get a third if anypony thought I was about to go all fifty flavours of Tirek on the town again.

"If the nobles see you they're so going to freak!" Twilight went on in panic.

Wait a sec. So this is all about the nobles. Again. "Twi..." I growled, temper slowly rising.

"Sparks? Is something wrong?" I heard Sona ask. Twilight and I turned to find Sona beside us, closing the double doors behind her. Outside the storm darkened, threatening a few flashes of lightning.

"Is something wrong?" Twilight suddenly scoffed, "You tell us, Princess Luna." She rounded on Sona, her eyes blazing with distrust.

Oh horseapples. How did she figure it out? I mean, we even fooled Shining Armour.

Ah.

Right, my dragonfire only sends stuff to and from royals. It wasn't that big a leap of logic from there, especially for the likes of Twilight 'Purplesmart' Sparkle.

"Well spotted, Twilight Sparkle." Princess Luna didn't even bother denying anything, her face perfectly neutral. "I knew you would see through our deception when you saw the dragonfire spell work on me."

Princess Luna seemed to have considered the possibility at least. Did she mean to let Twilight find out? Why?

"After going through all that trouble to trick me and Shining Armour, why did you give it away so easily?" Twilight voiced my question for me.

"As the head of ceremony, you were the only one who could stop me. I had to maintain my deception long enough for me to reach the stage." Princess Luna explained, calmly. "Once there, our objective was sealed. Your knowledge of our ruse no longer mattered."

"And what was this 'objective'?" Twilight demanded.

"To give Spike his birthday back." Princess Luna said, simply. "And to stop those who might steal it for their own ends." She gave her a cool look.

"Oh. That." Twilight faltered, realizing exactly what she meant. Her ears drooped flat against her mane, her lips muttering something under her breath. It sounded a lot like 'Blueblood'.

"But..." Twilight's scowl returned with a vengeance, her ears perking up once more as she glared up at Princess Luna, "You lied to me! I trusted you with Spike, and you lied!" She cried at the princess.

"Twilight Sparkle." Princess Luna said, calmly.

"You can't sneak about and secretly meddle in my kingdom while dragging my little brother around after you, Princess! You have no right!" Twilight's voice grew shrill, her hysterics spiralling out of control. From the looks of it, this was at least a 'Smarty Pants' on the Twifreak scale.

"Twilight Sparkle." Princess Luna repeated, more firmly.

"Let me guess, you wanted to use your 'Sonata' disguise to charm the nobles. That's it, isn't it?!" The mad gleam in her eye, the wild frazzles in her mane, everything was going out of control.

This crazed obsession of hers had gone too far. "Twi!" I finally lost my own temper, "Why is it always about the nobles?!"

"Because I'm the Princess of Friendship. It's my duty to....!" Twi rounded on me angrily, that mad perfectionist gleam burning furiously in her magenta eyes.

Her eyes slowly widened. The fire in her eyes died away to nothing. She gave a quiet gasp, a wing flying up to her mouth in shock. "S-Spike, I-..."

I glared back at her through my tears. "Twi. Does...does nothing else matter to you anymore?" My voice slowly dropped away into a whisper. "Do I not matter to you anymore?"

"Spike, please, I didn't mean..." Twilight whispered shakily, reaching a trembling forehoof towards me.

She never got to explain what she meant. One commotion wasn't enough, another just had to interrupt us.

"You ruined it! You ruined my happily ever after!" A drawn-out wail drew ever closer. "And I actually thought you were my friends!"

"Now, that's unfair of ya, Rares." Applejack's hat bobbed into view, flanking what looked like a flock of tissues floating in a light blue magical aura. "Ah have nuthin' against ya and his highnessness tyin' as many knots as ya darn well like. But Spike's birthday party ain't the place to do it." Applejack pushed her hat up to reveal a firm glare aimed at the magical flock of tissues. Fortunately the tissues were too sodden to catch fire under the ferocity of Applejack's glare.

"Hay, it was a totally lame move. And you know it." Rainbow Dash flapped backwards through the air above Applejack. "We saved you and Bluebutt from being totally un-cool in front of everypony. Your. Welcome."

"But he was going to prooo-poo-ose to meee-eee-ee-e!" The flock of tissues parted to reveal a wailing Rarity. "H-he even had a r-ring for me." She whimpered, her lips quivering pitifully. "Wh-what if I never get t-to see it?" She sniffled, softly, before bursting into another bawl. "It's all your fault!" She cried, suddenly noticing Sona. “You dare stay around after ruining my life?! Oooooh, it. Is. ON!” She declared, striding up towards the dark blue pegasus in a grand display of towering fury.

"Your Excellency." Sona gave Rarity a curt nod. "With all due respect, if he truly cares for you, it wouldn't matter to him where he proposes to you."

"Don't you dare! Don't. You. Dare!" Rarity shrieked, hysterically. "Dear, sweet Blueblood knows that proposing to a lady is a grand affair! Everything has to be just right! The place, the timing...!"

"That's just it, Rares. It wasn't the place nor the time. This is somepony else's birthday party. It's Spike's birthday party for goodness sake!" Applejack argued.

"Ohohoho, don't think I don't know exactly what you're up to, Applejack darling.” Rarity rounded on Applejack like a vengeful tornado. “You of all ponies would simply love to see Blueblood and I separated. Don't deny it!" The furious unicorn lashed out accusingly.

"Wha-...Ah'd never!" Applejack gasped, looking all sorts of hurt.

"And don't bring poor Spikey-Wikey into this! The poor dear doesn't deserve to..." Her eyes landed on me. Those big, teary sapphire orbs slowly softened as she gazed at me. "Oh, Spike, you poor thing. No, please, darling, don't mind these silly fillies. We’re so sorry we’re ruining your party with all this drama." She struggled to grimace through her tears. Her eyes hardened as they wandered back up to Sona.

Sona was already beating a hasty retreat. She probably knew as well as we all did that there would be no reasoning with a hysterical Rarity who seemed eager to lash out at anything and everything.

"You!" Rarity shrieked after her.

Sona paused mid-step. She gave a little sigh as she turned to peer over her withers, allowing Rarity a sideways look. "Yes, your Excellency?" She replied, stiffly.

"Don't you trot away from me." Rarity growled, "I don't know what you're planning, using poor Spikey-Wikey to gatecrash this party and hussying it up to charm everypony. But if you think for a moment that you can toy around with darling little Spike..."

"'Use'? 'Toy'?" Sona suddenly scoffed, slowly turning around to face Rarity, her eyes smouldering like dying stars. "Pardon me for saying so, but that is a little too rich for a simple little pony like me."

Rarity faltered for but a moment as the petite pegasus bore down on her. But she quickly rallied, straightening up to her full impressive height. She marched on Sona, slowly backing the dark blue pegasus into the table bearing the towering birthday cake. "Do not play coy with me. Any simpleton can see it! There is nothing anypony, let alone a rich, snobby banker's girl, could possibly want in Spi-..." She gave a gasp, throwing a forehoof over her mouth as she realized what she had just said. But it was too late.

Nothing.

There is nothing anypony could possibly want in me.

I...

Something soft gently wrapped itself around me. I was almost too numb to feel the dark blue wing pull me in against something warm and comforting. I stiffly looked around to see Sona holding me against her side protectively, her body turned as if to shield me from Rarity. The look she gave Rarity was as cold as the void itself. Rarity seemed to shrink back, almost cowed, though more by the guilt burning on her own face than Sona’s frigid glare.

"'Nothing'?" Sona intoned levelly, raising herself up to her full majestic height. "If what one wants is all that mattered in a relationship, then isn't it perfect that 'nothing' is exactly what I want?" She glared at Rarity. “You’re right, Ms. Rarity. I have money, luxury, power, everything. I have never wanted for anything. I didn’t even know there was anything I wanted in my life. Not until I met Sparks. He found me when I was lost, fed me when I was hungry, washed me when I was all mucky and ugly, hugged me when nopony else dared. He’s shown me everything I never knew I wanted. And I’d spend the rest of my life finding out what else he can show me.” Her voice shook, her breath short, her temper even shorter. "I am glad. I am glad you're with Blueblood. You deserve each other. Because surely when it comes to 'wants', you will never find each other lacking."

"You will not speak of him that way!" Rarity suddenly shrieked, rising up once more.

*SLAP*

The party went silent.

Rarity stumbled backwards. Her eyes were wide with shock, her ears flat against her mane, her horn still sparking violently.

Sona staggered back, reeling, before crashing into the table bearing the cake. Her eyes were wide with shock, bright blue magic still blazing across her reddening cheeks. The towering Pinkie-brand monstrosity above her wobbled dangerously, its many enchanted candles swaying threateningly in the air.

“Rares, watch out!” Applejack was quick to pull the stunned Rarity out of the way of the cake’s looming shadow.

“Sona!” I shouted, dashing for the pegasus curled up at the foot of the teetering table. As I bore down on her I knew it was already too late. The monster of a cake was already sliding down towards us. It was a massive eighteen layer cloud-cake, one layer for each year I’ve lived, or so Pinkie had told me. And its full weight was bearing down on the petite pegasus below it like a thundercloud, frosted cream and flaming candles and all.

Sona looked between me and the incoming catastrophe. She gritted her teeth, kicking out against the floor to launch herself straight at me. She crashed bodily into me, sending us tumbling and rolling across the floor together. She suddenly pushed me down, pinning me flat to the ground. I lay flat on my back, staring numbly up at her face and the wing she held like a shield above us.

And then it came, hurtling around us like an avalanche. Sona held me tight, even as her tiny frame was battered like a boat in a thundering storm. And yet the wing she held above us stood fast against the onslaught. That was when an acrid black stench struck my nose. I had only smelled it once before, that one time I accidentally breathed fire on a goose-down pillow.

It was the smell of burning feathers.

Sona held fast, barely wincing, even as her big teal eyes slowly but surely filled with tears of pain. And before I could do anything else, it was over as quickly as it began. I could only stare, stupidly, as the last of the cream and filling settled on the floor.

That was when my slow, idiotic brain caught up. That wing she was shielding me with; It was her injured wing.

“Sona!” I gasped. I reached up to hold her against my chest, leaning her into my shoulder as I looked over her withers at the wing. I was quite certain wings shouldn’t be bent in that angle. Neither should it be covered in smoking scorch marks and candle wax. “Somepony! Somepony get me the first aid kit!” I bellowed. I felt the very ground and windows tremble with my draconic roar. The ponies around us flinched, recoiling in fear. I didn’t care. I was angry. I was angry at the cake. I was angry at the table. I was angry at this whole party. I was angry at...at….

“I-I’m so sorry, dear.” A voice spoke up. It filled me with dark, icy rage. “I didn’t mean to. I don't know what came over me. I got caught up in my horrid feelings. Here, let me help you with that wing.” She dared approach. She dared come close to my poor little Sona.

“GO. AWAY.” I roared, fire and smoke leaping from my tongue in my fury.

“S-Spikey-Wikey, I-I didn’t mean it.” She gasped, looking as if I had slapped her. “I only want to help.” She pleaded.

“NOT. ONE. STEP. CLOSER!” I pulled Sona closer against me as I glared at her. “OR SO HELP ME….”

She gave a pitiful squeak, forehooves clasped over her mouth in shock at my furious outburst. Her body weakly slumped to the ground. She probably broke into a fresh flood of tears. I didn't care. At least she shut her muzzle for once.

.....When had I grown so mean? That was Rarity. She's my friend. I....

“I’m sorry.” I heard the pegasus in my arms whisper softly.

“Sona! Tell me, what can I do?” I gasped, turning back to her, all thoughts of Rarity banished from my mind.

“I-I’m sorry, Sparks.” She whimpered, softly.

“Wh-what? What’re you talking about?!” I demanded.

“I’m sorry. I ended up embarrassing you in the end.” She murmured, her voice shaking with pain.

I looked up. All the eyes in the room were on us. The circle of ponies recoiled as I glared angrily back at them. I roughly tugged a tablecloth off a nearby buffet table, upending all its contents onto the floor. Fine cuisine and expensive china crashed onto the floor, causing a few ponies to yelp in fright. I gave them no mind as I pulled the tablecloth protectively around the trembling pegasus in my arms, shielding her from everypony’s eyes.

She gave a soft whimper of gratitude, pulling the tablecloth tightly around her. “I’m so sorry.” She whispered one last time. "It won't happen again." She suddenly staggered onto her hooves, pushing me aside as she made a wobbly dash for the entrance. Ponies parted to make way, nopony seemingly sure of what else to do.

She was gone before I could even call out to her.

I gave a low grunt as I staggered onto my own two feet. Bits of cake and cream splattered to the floor in my wake. A boom of thunder shook the windows as I strode out after her.

I didn’t think anything in the universe could stop me walking out to find her. But a single voice somehow managed to halt me halfway down the hall. “Spike!” Twilight call after me. I slowly looked around at her. She stood there, her look almost pleading. There was an intense fear in her eyes. I’ve seen that look before. It was the same look she gave Shining the day he left for officer training at West Hoof.

She was afraid I would leave her and never return.

Behind her Rarity lay sobbing on the floor. “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.” She wailed, over and over. Applejack sat by her side, holding her comfortingly. Blueblood was nowhere to be seen. Flutters, Pinkie and Rainbow stood by, watching me, all looking completely torn.

Walking out on them would be something I could never take back. Even if I could somehow come back and reconcile with them later, the fact would remain that I chose somepony else over them that night. What will that spell for our friendship? For the very Council built upon that friendship?

But if I didn’t go, I would hate myself for the rest of my life. And that is a very, very long time.

But none of that mattered. Only she did.

I made my choice.

She Likes to Headbutt. And Snuggle. But Mostly Headbutt.

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"Sona?! SONA!!"

It was pitch black outside. The houses were dark with every single pony in town attending the party. The only light came from the friendly glow of the Palace of Friendship itself. In the dim lighting I could barely see her hoofprints in the ground, let alone the small mare herself. What few hoofprints I could see were already being swept away by the harsh frosty rain that had struck as sudden as a buffalo stampede. It was practically raining changeling divebombs.

Of course it had to rain. Otherwise it'd be too easy, right?

Jeez, how would I find her in all this? What do I do? Knowing me, I'd just do the Spike thing and mess everything up again.

'You know what to do.'

Nopony else would go out to find her tonight. It was up to me. Yeah, I can’t fail, not when she’s counting on me.

Yeah, I'd know what to do.

I wrapped a claw around an outcropping of crystal at the foot of the palace and bit through the base. I tasted bitter raspberries as my larger, stronger draconic maw made short work of the crystal. I ripped the glowing shard out and then bit the tip off before lighting up the night with a bright gout of dragonfire. The shard in my mouth erupted into a cloud of smoky green sparks. They rushed out of my steaming maw to swirl off into the darkness like a wispy little night spirit.

I launched myself after the wisp of light. It was fast, so fast in fact that it disappeared into the darkness in a blink of an eye. But it gave me a direction to run and that was more than enough. I would run to the end of the world if I had to.

I had to squint through the icy sheets running down my face and the clouds of steam I was puffing into the frigid air. I counted in my head as I ran against the beating rain. At the count of ten I bit off another shard and 'fired' it into the night, lighting up the dark with my brilliant green flames. And again at the count of twenty, thirty, and so on.

At the count of sixty I finally came across what I was looking for: A glowing shard lying in the shadow of Sugarcube Corner, the same shard I had ‘mailed’ to her sixty seconds ago. Sixty seconds. She was sixty seconds ahead of me.

I wasn't Twilight's number one assistant for nothing. My dragonfire-sending is almost instantaneous. The distance between the Palace and Sugarcube Corner is about six hundred hooves as the pegasus flies. She covered that distance in sixty seconds. Putting that together, she was travelling at a meager ten hooves per second. Which told me two things: That she wasn't teleporting and that I could totally catch up to her at my speedy twenty hooves per second.

I fired off more shards into the night as I ran on through the hammering rain. I found the next glowing shard half-trodden into the mud by the flower shop, a mere five seconds away. The next was by Quills and Sofas, four seconds away. I followed the trail like a drake possessed. My fevered mind reminded me of that one story of Hazel and Pretzel, the two foals who left behind a trail of crumbs to find their way home. Nopony ever went out into the woods to find them. But I would find her.

The distance between the dropped shards dwindled. She was slowing down. Why? Was she hurt so badly she was having trouble running? I gave a loud, frustrated growl as I doubled my pace.

My final flame didn't travel far. It glowed like a brilliant emerald star as it spiralled ahead of me, lighting my way. I kicked off the mud, launching myself forward with renewed vigour. I was close. I could feel it.

Lightning flashed bright overhead. It lit up what looked like a white sheet scampering just ahead of me. An explosive boom of thunder shook the earth. The little white sheet dropped flat against the ground, curling up into a tight ball. My emerald wisp slowed into a gentle spiral around the little ball, casting its green glow over us.

"Hay, Princess Luna?" I stepped closer, reaching out for the trembling ball underneath the sodden tablecloth. It looked even smaller from up close, so fragile and alone. It seemed so helpless the very earth could swallow it up without a trace any minute. "Are you alright?" I breathed. What looked like a pair of ears perked up under the cloth like a tent.

Another flash of lightning raked the sky. Another explosive blast of thunder shook the night.

The sodden tablecloth suddenly leapt to life, barrelling right into my chest. I threw my arms around it protectively, not daring to let go, not even to catch myself as I fell backwards. I fell heavily into the mud, but I held fast even as we slid along the slick muddy ground.

More thunder erupted overhead.

The helpless little bundle in my arms gave a teeny squeak, curling up even tighter as she pulled her hoofsies against my chest. She buried her face in my neck, as if to shut out the world.

I was dumbstruck. I've always been the one doing the running. I've never had anypony run to me. What do I do?

**'You know what to do.'

If that is what she wanted then I would shut the world out for her. I gently held her closer, taking care not to strain her injured wing. I put myself between her and the world, cocooning her as best as I could in my embrace.

Thunder used to scare the scales offa me as a child. But never for long. Mom would come and hold me and Twi close in her hooves, calming us with her gentle warmth. As time went on, Twi, frightened as she was, would brave the thunder to hold me in Mom's place. Both of them would always whisper the same thing: "Hay, it's alright. It's alright, okay?"

I was surprised to find the words coming out of my own mouth, hushing her gently. "You'll be alright. I'm here with you. And I'm not going anywhere." Her trembling gave way to a desperate calm, her panicked breathing slowly settling down against my chest.

"W-We art sorry," I heard her whimper into my chest. "We art sorry. T’is all Our fault," she sniffled in high Unicornian.

Now where'd I hear that same corniness before? It was the whole Tantabus thing all over again. Where does she even store all that emotional baggage?

Before I could say anything, she slowly, shakily peered up at me, her dark emerald eyes wet with what was certainly not rain. Her ears were pressed down against her sodden mane. "We art sorry..." she choked, "...so sorry thou chose me." She closed her eyes tight, almost as if expecting some harsh judgement to smite her confession.

I chose her? Yeah, I guess I did choose her over somepony else. Did it matter?

"Nope." She flinched at my reply. "Nope. You don't get to be sorry. I won't allow it," I growled, firmly. It was my choice. If anyone’s gotta be sorry, it’s….it’s...how would I ever apologize to Twilight? To Rarity?

"But..." Was all Princess Luna could manage as she struggled to grasp the idea of not being allowed a chance at self-pity. I didn't let her say much more. I curled a claw under her hindlegs and hefted her up against me, cradling her in my claws. She gave a soft 'eeeeep' of surprise as I stood up to my full height (which still wasn't much, actually, just enough to carry her), lifting her up into the air. She was so light. That a life so precious could weigh so little, it scared me; it scared me a lot.

I didn't even pause to think of how I was able to manage all that. I was too busy giving her a stern look in the eye. "You don't get to give yourself a hard time. Nopony gets to do that. Ever. I won't allow anypony, not even you." I gave her a little smile. "Except for me." I chuckled a little, much to her confusion.

Nopony touches Spike's *treasure** but Spike!*

I blinked owlishly. Where did that thought come from?

Another explosive rap of thunder interrupted my thoughts with a start. Princess Luna gave another squeak, curling up tight in my hold. So she's definitely afraid of thunder. Weird. I'm pretty sure lightning was Nightmare Moon's thing. In fact Princess Luna does a whole lightning and shadows routine every Nightmare Night.

I didn't dwell on it for too long. Being out here in the storm was obviously not doing her any favours. I had to get her somewhere safe. Everypony's probably still holed up in the palace with the storm outside, so most of the town's out. While I hated the idea of bringing her back to the palace, that seemed to be the only smart thing to do.

That was when an idea struck me.

We could go home.

My mind set, I ambled into the dark with her in my hold. I didn't need my eyes to find my destination. I simply traced familiar old footsteps. Frightened as she was, she never questioned where I was taking her. She stayed quiet, clutching tightly onto me as we walked on through the sleeting rain. Never once did I feel cold with her gentle warmth banking against my chest.

The dark silhouette of the tree loomed high above us, its wide eaves sheltering us from the rain. The door in its stout bark stood shut, the 'Closed' sign on it swinging violently in the wind. That didn't stop me. I had the key after all. It was a challenge and a half to find the keyhole in the dark with my tail, but another dragonfire-sending wisp solved that problem, without scorching the door. It struck me that my little light trick wouldn't be possible without her being by my side.

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I quickly shouldered the door open, half-stepping, half-stumbling into the refuge within. I kicked the door shut behind me, muffling most of the storm outside. A few more dragonfire-sending wisps lit up the gloom. Steepled shadowy figures stood watch in the dark. Another spark of lightning revealed them for what they were: Furniture covered by dust-sheets. The freshly-laid wooden flooring was still smooth, not yet worn by a certain librarian's panicked pacing. The air still smelled of sawdust and fresh paint. It would be a while until it regained that old scent of dried ink, musty tomes and general nerdiness. But there was no doubt about it.

I'm home.

'Oh, welcome home, Spike. You're not covered in tree sap for once. You're just in time. I was just about to have some ice cream.'

I quickly carried her over to the circle of floor pillows by the fireplace in the corner. A flick of my tail unfurled the dust-sheets covering the pillows. She winced as I gently set her down on the softest pillow of the lot, reminding me of the wing we needed to fix. She began to shiver again as I let her slip out of my warmth, her mane and fur still dripping. She curled up against her tail, resting her head on her hoofsies for warmth.

I turned back to the empty fireplace and tossed a few logs in. With a single breath I breathed warm life into it, bathing the room with the fire's cheery orange glow. She gave a soft sigh as its gentle warmth washed over us, the only sound that had come out of her in a while now. But a fire could only do so much. A lifetime looking after a certain stubborn unicorn has taught me that a cold pony with drenched fur could get sick real fast. "Hey, just sit tight. I'll be back in a bit, alright?" I gave her a reassuring smile as I stood up. Her ears twitched nervously as I left, her bright green eyes following me as I disappeared deeper into the library. I felt my steps quicken, resolving not to leave her a second longer than I had to.

The linen cupboard was exactly where it always was, right by the laundry room. I held my breath as I pulled the door open, half-expecting a lot of empty shelves. Much to my surprise, it was stuffed full of fluffy new blankets and towels. Each and every one was carefully embroidered with my name.

'Taking some fresh linen, Spike? You'd better bring down your dirty stuff so I can wash'em for you while it's still sunny out, okay?'

The dark kitchen had a brand new cast iron kettle exactly where we used to leave it drying by the window sill alongside freshly stocked pots of tea leaves and sugar.

'Say, Spike, can you please make me some tea? I think I need a Spike-Special to help me get through this big report tonight. Let's have it with some cookies by the fire.'

A regulation first aid kit hung on the wall by the door, no doubt triple and quadruple-checked for completeness. There was even a long list of the inventory tacked to the wall written in her gentle, flowing cursive.

'Hay, buster, where are you taking that kit? Are you hurt? Come on, show me.'

"I'm not hurt, Twi," I whispered to the heavy silence. It took me a while to realize I was lying.

'Spike!' I couldn't help but see it before me, that look of fear in her eyes as I turned away and ran out on her. It would probably haunt me forever.

"If anything, I hurt you." I grit my teeth.I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have run out on you. Not when you needed my reassurance, not when you needed to know that I would never really leave you alone.

Oh endless night, she's alone. She'd get lost trying to find the bedroom again. She'd flush herself down the toilet again. She'd set the kitchen on fire just trying to get a cup of water again. She'd cry herself to sleep again, and...and...

Why'd I leave her alone? Celestia, why?

I could only hope at least one of her friends is sensible enough to stay the night with her. Applejack might have to go home for work, Flutters for her animals, but no matter how bad things got I could definitely count on Rainbow and Pinkie to keep Twi company. Yeah, I'm sure she's in good hooves.

**I* should have been there for her.*

I bit back...something...as I balanced the linen on my head and gathered the tea tray and the first aid kit in my claws. 'Twi has her friends,', I tried to convince myself. 'Princess Luna has nopony. I need to be here for her. I made my decision.'

And it was the right decision, right? I mean, it felt right. I think. When Princess Luna was at her happiest, the entire world felt right to me. And when she's not happy I would clear every cloud in the sky to bring her sunshine back. Because...

...Because...

Uh.

Because she saved me. Yeah, that must be it. Sure, it was my own birthday cake she saved me from, but the fact stands: She hurt her wing saving me. And according to my noble Dragon Code, I must serve her for the rest of my natural born days. That must be why I feel I gotta keep her safe, make sure she stays clean and fed, stay by her side to make sure she doesn't get lost and, most importantly, make her happy and stuff. Yep, that's totally it.

Hmm. I should probably skip showing her that card with my noble Dragon Code in writing. I mean, sure, the artwork has improved quite a bit ever since that one time with Applejack and the timberwolves, if I do so say so myself; it's no longer in green crayon for one thing. But something told me Princess Luna wouldn't take the whole eternal servitude thing very well.

I felt something gently bump against the small of my back. Frowning, I slowly looked around to peer into the darkness behind me. I couldn’t help but give a quiet little sigh as I found a certain little princess headbutting me gently (if awkwardly) in the small of my back. She stepped up beside me, her soft, fluffy wing brushing against my side as she leaned in against me.

I couldn’t help but wonder whether she was staying close out of fear or a desire to comfort me. It certainly surprised me. It wasn’t something one would expect from the Princess of the Night. She certainly wasn’t used to it, with how awkwardly she was looking away from me, her cheeks practically glowing in the dark. I could just about imagine her giving the darkness an almighty tearful pout. Still, her warmth and presence brought me no end of comfort.

I gave a soft chuckle as I dropped a towel over her. She let out a soft squeak as the fluffiness fluttered about her mane before settling across her ears. I gently rubbed the towel against her as I pulled her closer to me.

To my surprise, she reached out with her own forehooves, rising up on her haunches to hold me. It took me a while to realize she was trying to hug me. Key word, ‘trying’.

She...kinda sucks at hugs.

I suppose it’s to be expected, considering she doesn’t do much of this hugging business. I wonder if she ever had any ponies to hug to begin with?

But the awkwardness spoke of a deep genuineness, more so when I realized she was actually trying to comfort me. And at that very moment, I needed it more than anything in the world.

She finally released me without a word, ears splayed back, eyes cast down, seemingly unsure of herself. She was likely still blaming herself for what happened. I gave her a reassuring squeeze on her withers. Her ears perked up as she gently leaned into my claw. Like that, we made our silent way back to the comfort of the fire.

Another crack of thunder rattled the sky outside. It felt as if the bolt of lightning itself came and bowled me over to the ground. I fell flat on my back on the soft fluffy carpet by the fireplace, finding my bearings just in time to reach out and catch the falling tea tray, first aid kit and towels in a humorously teetering tower.

Carefully putting my perilous tower of knickknacks aside, I pulled myself up to peer down at the little bolt of lightning clinging to my chest. She was curled up into a trembling little ball, little hoofsies clutching me tight for dear life again.

I noticed a frail light flickering feebly on her forehead. It was the pale moonsilver glow of her hidden horn, albeit strained and weak. Her eyes were closed in desperate concentration. That was when I realized she was struggling to cast a spell. Every burst of magic she poured into the spell did nothing but cause this weird indigo glow to burn on her cheek. I peered at it: Three azure diamonds glared angrily back at me, flaring with ominous power on her cheek.

The same cheek Rarity had struck.

Thin blue tendrils snaked away from the diamonds, twisting and turning up her temple as they made their way towards where her horn would be. As she strained to cast her spell, the tendrils and the three blue diamonds glowed all the more angrily. What the hay was that thing?

Recognition struck me. It was the very same curse that Sombra had cast on Shining Armour. He wasn't able to cast any spells until the curse was broken by the Crystal Heart (and yours truly, but we can save my heroic tale for another day). I remember Twilight doing some reading on the curse he suffered later.

It was a Cursey-Mark.

Whatever it was, it was stopping Princess Luna from casting her spell. What spell could she be trying to use?

'A Princess does not bleed.'

A Princess is never weak, lost or hungry. A princess is certainly never afraid.

I see. She uses magic to shut out anything she's afraid of. Probably some sort of modified privacy spell. Without her magic she wasn't able to shut out the thunder. Without her magic she was vulnerable and afraid. How long had she faced her fears all by herself, relying on nothing but her own magic to get her through? What was it like to suddenly face her fears all alone once more?

No. Not alone. Not that night.

'You know what to do.'**

"Princess Luna, princesses don't show fear, right?" I asked her, softly.

"W-We art not…!" Her indignant squawk gave way to a sudden squeak as yet another bark of thunder rang outside. She quickly buried her face in my chest again, quivering with ears flattened against her mane.

"Well, as long as you're right here..." I gave her a little squeeze, indicating exactly where I meant, "...you aren't allowed to hide your fears. Because you don't need to. Because I'll be right here with you."

Her shivers slowly but surely melted away into my embrace. I felt her heavy breathing against my chest gently lapse into quiet hiccups. But even as the tension in the rest of her body softly eased, her hoofsies tightened their hold on me. "Is it..." she finally said, her voice barely a teeny whisper. "Is it alright, really?" she asked, slowly peering back up at me.

“Really really.” I nodded, giving her an encouraging smile.

“B-but we hast already troubl'd thee so,” she murmured softly, her face falling along with her ears.

“Tsk, tsk, tsk, remember, you’re not allowed to give yourself a hard time while you’re here in my magic circle.” I gave her another little squeeze, emphasizing the boundaries of my magic circle.

“Magic circle?” She blinked slowly, peering down at the claws wrapped around her withers. “Thy magic circle?” She looked back up at me with a quizzical expression.

“Yep.” I gave her a firm nod. “Mine.”

She gave me a long, slow thoughtful look. “But...to be a Princess of Equestria is to be unselfish and unafraid. We art the stalwart, inexorable warlord to Our sister’s kind, merciful matriarch. Art We...am I not allowed to be a princess in your magic circle?” she finally asked, tilting her head to one side with a tiny frown on her face.

"Well, uh, if you'd like to put it that way..." I chuckled nervously, before taking a slow, deep breath. "Yes. That's exactly it," I said, fixing her with a firm gaze. "You’re strong, Princess Luna... always have been, always will be. And you can be as cool and strong a Princess of Equestria as you need to be out there. But I want you to have someplace in the world where you don’t have to be," I told her, steadily. “I want that place to be right here." I gave her another gentle squeeze.

She didn’t say ‘yes’. She said nothing at all. She looked down at the hoofsies she had curled on my chest, slowly tilting her head to one side, then the other. I could almost hear the little wind-up toy in my arms tick and tock gently. Ticky-tock. Ticky-tock.

Mylittle wind-up toy. MyTicky-tocks.

She finally took a slow, deep breath, before resting her soft, silky mane against my chest, nestling herself in between her hoofsies. Another crack of thunder boomed. Her ears fell flat, her breath catching in her throat. But she only snuggled tighter against me, letting me draw her deeper into her special circle.

I don’t know how long we stayed together like that, safe in our magic circle in the warm glow of the fire. It was a while before she finally gently wiggled free of my claws. Wordlessly, she turned her body a little, offering her injured wing to me. She gave me a meek but hopeful look, ears fidgeting nervously.

Luna, the unbleeding Princess of the Moon, never had any wounds to treat. She remained out there somewhere, beyond our little magic circle.

My little Ticky-Tocks, the silently selfless mare in my lap, quietly asked me to treat her wounded wing.

A new wellspring of fierce strength surged inside me. She was relying on me. I could do anything. Because for her, I would never fail, never falter.

Yeah, this is it. This is my noble dragon code. Totally.

I slowly stirred, blinking sleep out of my eyes. I blearily realized I had been dreaming. The goofy smile on my face was a good clue. It was a weird dream. It had been years since the night of that first disastrous Grand Galloping Gala, but the memories of me chatting about Power Ponies with that mysterious guardsmare over a dozen of Donut Joe’s best was still clear in my mind. I couldn’t quite remember her name though. Was it ‘Mooner’? Or ‘Moony’? Maybe it was ‘Mun Mun’. Come to think of it, she got my name wrong too. She called me 'Sporks' or something weird like that. I had invited her to come to Ponyville for Nightmare Night that year, but she never came. Strange that I’d dream of her then, so much so that I couldn’t help but wonder where she’d gone and what she was up to.

Heh, maybe she really had gone off to be a Power Pony and save the world, just as she told me she would. That’d be way cool.

That was when the stiffness in my back and tail struck with grim vengeance. It felt like waking up from that one time Bulk Biceps gave me a massage.

Never. Again.

I frowned, struggling to remember how exactly I had fallen asleep. I definitely don't remember where the big fluffy blanket wrapped around me came from. A little exploration with my tail told me that I had fallen asleep sitting against something hard and uncomfortable. I dimly realized it was the side of the bed, the same bed I had tucked her into earlier. Resetting and treating her dislocated wing had been exhausting. It wasn't long before she fell asleep while still clutching onto me, even as I was dressing her wing and cleaning her up. I cradled her in my claws and hefted her upstairs to bed, a feat that was becoming easier and easier for me.

As I tucked her in she had quickly curled up, tucking her hooves underneath her and wrapping her tail around herself, much as I had found her in the forest earlier that day. The only difference was she had sleepily groped around for the pillow before drawing it into a tight hug, curling her body about it like a mother would a foal.

It was kind of adorable. But...

Stupid, dumb, hug-stealing pillow.

I’m totally not jealous of a pillow. Really.

I mean, it’s a pretty devious pillow, all snuggly on the outside but nothing but fluff on the inside.

I don’t know how much time I wasted just watching her sleeping peacefully until I realized I was probably being all flavours of creepy. In my defense, I was making sure that sly pillow didn’t try anything funny. Yeah, that’s it. Totally.

I looked down at the pile of books I had gathered in front of me. I remembered deciding to do some research while staying by her side earlier. Horseapples, just a few hours in this place and I was already starting to act like Twilight. A week here and I would probably turn purple!

One ancient tome sat open on the pile of books in front of me: Lore Keeper’s ‘Monsterum Totus’. At first glance it looked like somepony had spilled ink on the open page. However a closer look revealed it to be a rather half-plotted doodle of a monster so ugly that only the Everfree could have come up with it. It looked like a scrapyard ran into a weather factory and came out as some crazy black cloud raining swords, toilets and toasters. Did they even have toasters and toilets when they wrote this book?

My eyes drifted down to the old hoofwritten High Unicornian script curling away beneath the shadowy scribble.

BEWAREþefrumious Cliffhanger, child!

When it shuns its home inþebrillig wilds

They sayethþeulfish beast seeks prey

In momsey hamlets and homes whence ponies stay

**AS* itgrábesits mansome claws ‘cross* þeland

In its guntish corse it gathers plunder like anavalanche

Each and ev’ry devilous item a ‘Plot Device’

Rothsome instruments to warp fate to its victim’s demise

**TRUE* to its tulgey namesake*

Ethereal while ev’rypony’s awake

It spins tales tense and frabjous on a whim

That history itself might danceth about its victim

**And* when its unwitting prey reaches* þefinal curtain

T’is not a Happily Ev’r After he will findeth, that is f’r certain…

I had a feeling Princess Luna wasn’t hunting a cute little kitten, but c’mon. Does everything that crawls, swoops or stomps out of the Everfree Forest have to be such fluffy little bundles of joy? Why must a forest be so Tartarus-bent on producing every flavour of misery known to Ponykind?

Well, I’m sure a big bad cloud raining toast and toilet water attacking Ponyville would be pretty darn obvious. Hay, the Elements would probably just fire their big Friendship Laser and banish it to —

Oh. Horseapples. There wasn’t enough friendship around to light a candle, let alone fight the elder god of toilet accidents. The very fate of the world relies upon me patching things up with them.

Though I guess it’s no different from the usual, even if it’s usually good ol’ level-headed me keeping a lid on things.

It’s tough having to save the world every single day.

Still, I had no idea how I’d even begin that awkward talk with Twilight, let alone Rarity.

Ugh, y’know what, nopony, especially big evil vorpal dust bunnies, would ever bother with a little town like Ponyville. It’s cool. It’s all cool.

Besides, I had bigger oats to fry, namely Luna’s cursey-mark. My eyes were drawn to another big black leather-bound book that was sitting underneath the dusty tome of monsters. It was open to a page I had been reading.

**WHEN* a unicorn in rage attacks*

With a cursey-mark his nemesis he pox

A sigil in likeness of the unicorn’s cutie mark

A bitter brand fill'd with dunnest magic

Notoriously loathsome Sombra's favoured trick

**WITH* hatred-fill'd black magic*

He'd lace his foe's horn with crystals thick

The curse is not unique to dark lords alone

Any pony with passions overblown

May inflict this curse 'pon his foe

**'THE* curs'd would lose his magical ability*

But fear not, 'tis possible to break free

Black crystals of hate may be dispelled

With the power of hope it may be overwhelmed

Even frosty blue marks with jealousy fraught

can. . . . '

"Can...?" I read out loud, "Can what?" I demanded, frowning at the next page. “Can be cured with cupcakes? Can be washed off with orange juice? Can be filled in with crayon? Can be rubbed out with an eraser? What?”

Wait, seriously? The next page was missing. Missing!

"Aww, c'mon!" I growled, throwing my claws into the air in exasperation. What kind of joke is this?! From the frayed pulp along the torn edges, I could tell it hadn't been long since it was torn out either.

I suddenly paused, reading that last line over in my head. 'Frosty blue marks with jealousy fraught'?

Wait, a sec.

Jealousy?!

My heart leapt.

Could Rarity be…?

After all this time? Maybe I still had a chance?

I took a slow, deep breath, shutting the book with final-sounding snap. No. It couldn’t be. Rarity loves somepony else. But she was jealous. No, she loves Blueblood. She loved me. And she was going to accept Blueblood’s proposal. The mark is proof! I won’t let her go this time! She’s mine! No, her happiness belongs to somepony else. Somepony else...somepony else…

Blueblood...

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SPIKE WANT

I felt a violent emptiness grasp me inside like the jaws of a tatzlwurm. I let out a snarl of pain, doubling up as the emptiness threatened to claw me apart like a ravenous timberwolf.

MINE! MIIIIIINE!

I let out a lame little whimper, clutching my heart with one claw. My chest was burning with a hollowness screaming to be filled. I had no idea what it needed, but I needed it sorely. It was like gasping, not for sweet air but for somepony. And not just anypony.

I needed her.

"L-Luna!" I gasped as I clawed at the blanket, desperately struggling to pull myself back up atop the bed. "L-Luna, please, a-are you there?" I pleaded with what little of my heart I had left.

I felt the void inside swallow up the pieces of my heart. The bed was empty. She was nowhere to be seen. The doors to the outdoor telescope balcony stood wide open, far out of my reach. Beyond them the dark empty sky stretched, slowly fading into the light of dawn.

No. No! NO!

I clawed at the floor, fighting to pull my stiffening body towards the doors. I had to get to the light. I had to find her!

SPIKE WAAAAAAAAANT

I felt something stirring within me. Whatever it was, it was growing bigger and bigger, drowning me. I gasped, not for air but for her. “Luna! Please! LUNA!” I cried out over the screams welling up around me.

MINE! MIIIIIINE! MIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINE!

It was like plunging into a bottomless, empty well. It was gaping open, dry, thirsty. It would have to drink a lot to finally fill itself: Me, the world, everything. The screams echoed on forever off the endless walls. Even the very walls were growing bigger and bigger, fading away into the shadows. Bigger….bigger…

“Spike!”

A light pierced the darkness.

“Spike! I am here! I am here with you!”

Something caught me. I felt it pull me up, and up and up. I could see pale light shimmering in the darkness above.

“Spike! Wake up! Spike!”

I broke the surface with a loud gasp. Light blinded my eyes. No wonder, a radiant angel was holding me in her forehooves. My angel. Mine. I finally breathed again, my chest filling with air and something, something dearer to me than life, something only she could give me, something precious.

I looked up into her bright emerald eyes filled with worried tears that tinkled over my face like diamonds.They widened with relief as they gazed into my own. Her soft, velvety sapphire blue mane felt cool and gentle against my forehead. They all suddenly disappeared into view as she suddenly dove into me, pulling me into a tight hug.

Yep, she still sucked at hugs. But at the time I couldn’t care less. Every rise and fall of her chest against mine felt like she was breathing for me. Every little bit of her felt like a breath of life.

“Dear Spike, thank the stars,” she whispered hoarsely. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry,” she sniffled.

Sorry? You savedme. “P-Princess, you’re here,” I croaked, weakly. “Th-thanks. Thanks.” I slowly reached up to hold her. I didn’t want her to leave. Never again.

“No, Spike,” she whispered in my ear. “I’m sorry I didn’t help you. I watched you suffer and did nothing. I couldn’t use my magic. I couldn’t lower the moon. I couldn’t save you from your nightmare. I couldn’t do anything.” She squeezed me tighter. “I’m sorry.” I felt something wet soak my neck and shoulders as she slowly sank against me. “So sorry.” She breathed softly, over and over.

Was that what it was? A nightmare? But it felt so real.

Wait.

Did she say ‘lower the moon’?

I suddenly realized what that light that blinded me was. It was the bright blue glow of the Cursey-Mark on her cheek. So that’s where she was. She was outside, trying to lower the moon.

My eyes flew open. I peered over her withers. We were outside on the balcony. I had somehow managed to drag myself out past the doors. Above me stretched a clear, starry sky. The storm had blown itself apart, leaving behind nothing but a dark thunderhead on the horizon. A bright golden glow was cresting the skyline, reflecting brilliantly off the thunderhead. Dawn was coming.

And above the full moon still glowed.

The moon.

The Cursey-Mark was stopping her from lowering it!

What would happen if she couldn't lower the moon? Would Celestia be able to lower it for her? What if she couldn’t? I mean, if she could, the whole Nightmare Moon thing a long time ago wouldn’t have happened, right? Would everypony panic? Would they believe that Nightmare Moon had returned? That my sweet, gentle Ticky-tocks had turned into a monster?

Or would we have something worse...something that hasn’t happened in over one thousand years?

Endless. Night.

She Likes Being Raised

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The greenish blue ribbon of the horizon glowed as the sun crested its edge. The golden disc steadily crawled into the dawn sky, chasing the night away. The moon remained stubbornly still, even as the mighty star crept ever closer. We probably had minutes before the two met. Moments even.

What would happen when the moon and sun came together? Would the sky turn dark as it did one thousand years ago?

Never had I been more afraid of the morning sky.

I felt something soft and warm gently pull my gaze away from my fears. I distractedly raised a claw to whatever it was. It closed around a soft little forehoof softly cupping my cheek, pulling my eyes towards her own. She gave me a reassuring smile. Only the tears brimming in the corners of her glimmering emerald eyes betrayed her fear. "It shall all be alright, dear Spike. I promise," she said, a forced calm in her voice.

"There must be a way to break that Cursey-Mark!" I growled at the three diamonds on her cheek, mocking me with their eerie blue glow.

Her eyes widened. "You knew?" she murmured.

There was no time to explain. "If anypony knows how to break the curse, it's Twilight. Or, hey, maybe all we need is the power of the Crystal Heart." I said, quickly. I leapt up out of her hold. "Just wait right here. A few quick letters and..." I was already halfway to the balcony door when I felt something root me in place.

"Please," I heard a whisper from behind me. The pair of forehooves curled around my chest tightened. I felt something soft and familiar headbutt me in the small of my back again. "Please stay with me. Just a while longer," she pleaded, her voice weary as she pressed her forehead against my back.

"I can fix this," I said, feeling my voice begin to shake. I wasn't sure who I was trying to convince then: her or myself. Out of the corner of my eye I could see the moon's shadow begin to swallow up the sun's glow, slowly taking my hopes with it. "I could write to Princess Celestia. She could lower the moon." I wasn't even suggesting it anymore, I was pleading for it to be true.

"No, dear Spike. If sister could move the moon for me, my crime one thousand years ago would have been inconsequential." I felt her shake her head against my back. "As long as I am here, nopony else can move it." She took a deep breath before giving a soft sigh. "Hence why, please, stay with me, just for a little while. In a few moments everything will be alright. I promise."

Everything will be alright? What does she mean? How can everything be alright? As long as she's here and unable to use magic, the moon will remain in the sky and the sun won’t be able to rise.

As long as she's here...wait...she couldn't have!

The world turned dark, even as a blinding flash of light lit up the sky. The eclipse had begun, starting with the 'diamond ring': The brilliant explosion of light erupting from the last remains of the sun as it slid behind the moon's shadow.

Dark ghostly tendrils swirled around us, whipping up a fierce cold wind. My heart went cold as recognition struck me.

It was a Tantabus.

She must have cursed herself with yet another one. Maybe it was even the same one she absorbed before. Knowing her, the curse must have been set to devour her in a living nightmare if she ever allowed another eternal night to happen.

"A Tantabus?! Again?!" I breathed in disbelief as I felt my bile rise. I looked up at the sun as its brim met the moon's edge, setting the rim on fire in a brilliant corona. "Is that the trigger for it? A solar eclipse?" I felt her ears droop behind me as my voice rose. "Why? Do you think punishing yourself again will help anypony?!" I demanded hotly.

"I-It is the only way." She shook her head gently against my back. "Once the Tantabus consumes me, Sister will be free to move the moon. I shall not allow my subjects to suffer because of my evil. Never. Never again."

"No, that's just not fair!" I cried. I felt hot tears burn my cheeks despite my anger. "I’m not letting you go!”

SPIKE WANT! MINE!

“You can't go! You..." My voice faltered. My anger died in my throat. I felt something warm and wet against the small of my back smother my rage.

"P-Please." I heard a soft sniffle. "I don’t have much time left. Please, just let me into your magic circle," she pleaded, her hold on me tightening. "Just for a brief moment, I...I don’t want to be a princess. I...I...I don't want to...to be alone."

I whirled around like a comet, sweeping her off her hooves. She gave a surprised squeak as I raised her up, pulling her against me. Her soft, silky mane billowed in the harsh wind. Her tears sparkled in the dying sunrise as they fell through the air. Every bit of her glowed as if to make up for the sun, even through the dark coils of magic curling about her tiny form.

She curled up against me, her forehooves around my shoulders, her rear-hooves tightening against my back. She held me for dear life, as if I were the last person she'd ever see.

She probably thought that too.

"Thanks, Sparks," she whispered softly. "I...I had fun." She loosened her hold to peer up at me, her eyes twinkling with tears. I watched as the last of the sunlight glancing over the edge of the moon slowly died away on her face.

And then it appeared, ripping out of a burning blue gash in the darkness behind her. The tall, gaunt, sickly black and violet shadow pulled itself halfway out of the rip in the air. It reared its faceless head back before letting out a deathly shriek into the pitch black sky. Its ghostly limbs reached out to curl about my Ticky-tocks' neck, ready to pull her through the dimensional tear and into the burning blue fires of the eternal living nightmare it came from.

She gave me a brave little smile, the bravest smile I had ever seen. "It's time to go," The little mare in my arms sighed, reluctantly releasing me as the dark coils wove themselves about her. "Goodbye, Sparks." She whispered, letting me go.

...

"No."

"What?" She blinked.

"No," I repeated. She might be ready to let go. But I wasn't. I probably never would be. I held onto her tightly, challenging anypony to come between me and her. "You're still in my magic circle. Nopony gives you a hard time here, especially not that jerk." I snarled at the Tantabus.

"Foal! You must let me go!" she cried in sudden panic. She struggled, flapping her wings against me. "Release me, lest the curse banish you as well!" She pushed out desperately against me with her hooves.

I held her even tighter against me. I was ready to chase her to the ends of the universe. I would follow her beyond it if I had to.

"No! Y-You can't!" she cried, pushing and struggling against me, but only feebly. "Y-You need to stay! The Council needs you! Equestria needs you!" she whimpered, pummeling me with her little hoofsies. "This is my punishment! This is what I deserve for being happy!" she wailed. "I deserve to be...to be alone," her voice cracked before trailing away into a sob. "A-Alone," she echoed, her voice hollow.

She sniffled quietly, her elfin form trembling in my claws. She shook her head slowly. “No. No. No,” she repeated over and over under her breath. She finally looked up at me, gleaming tears running down from her pained face. “Sparks,” she pleaded, hiccupping softly.

I looked deep into her eyes and softly asked, "Tell me, what do you really want?"

"I....I..." She gave in and buried her face in my chest. "I don't want to be alone, Sparks!" she sobbed. "I never want to be alone again!" she cried, clutching onto me as tightly as her little hooves could.

I held her silently as the dark curse swirled all around us, its raw force howling through my scales and whipping at her mane. The Tantabus' ghostly tendrils coiled around us, binding us together.

"Hay, Ticky-tocks," I finally said, softly.

She gave a little hiccup as she slowly peered up at me.

"You won't be alone," I promised her, giving her a comforting squeeze. "Never again. Because..."

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"...I will always be with you.”

I sang, softly.

“Like your moon, constant and true

You raise me up, you always do

And through the dark I'll see you through.

"When the sky turns upside down

Just fall on me, fall on me

I'll be your throne, your bastion

I'm everything you need me to be

"When I hold you."

I pulled her closer against me.

"When you raise me."

She peered up at me meekly.

"Till eternity our miracle will reach

Now that our circle's finally complete"

She echoed my words, softly but surely. The curse howling around us faded away.

"I once walked an empty road."

She smiled gently up at me.

"You reached out to hold my hoof

Beyond everything I'd ever hoped

Now I know you'll see me through"

She raised a soft, silky forehoof to caress my cheek. I felt a blush bloom. Just a coincidence.

"I once saw an empty dawn

You reached out to hold me up

The world can't hold me down

Now that I know your touch

"When I hold you."

She sang to me, gently.

"When you raise me."

I sang back to her with a smile.

"Till eternity our miracle will reach

Now that our circle's finally complete"

We sang together. I felt my feet slowly lift off the ground, my body suspended in a weird silvery glow. I guess this was it. I held her tight, stopping her from looking at the curse lifting us up into the air. I kept her gaze on me and me alone.

"Don't look down," I whispered. "Just look at me."

She nodded, biting her lip.

"I will always be with you."

I sang, comfortingly.

"Like your moon, constant and true

You raise me up, you always do

And through the dark I'll see you through."

"I once saw an empty dawn

You reached out to hold me up

The world can't hold me down

Now that I know your touch."

She sang back, nuzzling my cheeks gently. It felt warm and wet. I couldn't tell whether it was her tears or mine.

"Even when the world stops turning

Just fall on me, fall on me

I'll be your dawn, your beginning

I'm everything you need me to be."

I raised a claw to dry her tears.

"I once was lost in darkest night

You reached out to hold me tight

Now my heart burns ever bright

Forever while you're by my side."

The white glow around us was blinding. But nothing was more radiant than her bright emerald eyes as they looked up at me. Even as the fierce glare blotted everything else out, I saw her smile up at me. And everything was alright.

"I will always be there."

I said.

"You'll have me there."

She smiled, brightly.

"Together with you."

I pulled her tightly against my chest.

"Always with me."

She snuggled up against me.

"Forever till eternity, together we'll be

Now that our circle's finally complete."

I felt her heart beat against mine. Her warmth filled me, flooded me. It was like a wellspring of light surging deep inside. I felt strong. I felt like I could do anything. If she couldn't eat, I would feed her. If she couldn't fly, I would carry her. If she couldn't bear the moon, I would bear it for her.

Bear it for her.

It was like the very light all around us rushed inside me, welling up in my chest. Like a new sun, it erupted up into my mouth before bursting out of my jaws in a jet of furious white heat.

The white hot inferno was blinding. I squinted hard to try and peer around the ferocious jet of silver fire raging through my maw. It rose up like a pillar of light into the sky, up, up, and up! It tore through the thunderhead, ripping it apart into a brilliant halo reflecting its radiance.

And then it struck the black silhouette of the moon.

Bright silver coils coursed across the moon as the bright white fire flooded across its surface. The wave of light pulsed once. And the moon glowed like new.

And then it moved. Slowly but surely, the moon moved.

A brilliant blaze erupted from the moon’s pole as the sun peeked over its edge, turning the moon into a flaming diamond ring yet again. The sun crested the moon’s rim, casting its light across the sky. Finally, the sky returned from pitch black to the emeralds and golds of dawn. And the sun rose a second time.

The Tantabus gave a ghostly shriek of pain as it smouldered in the early sunlight. It released its hold on us, as if our touch burned its feeble form. As the sun fully emerged into the sky, the dark spectre burst into wisps of violet light, its screams fading into an echo on the wind.

The jet of fire from my mouth cut short, leaving a warm fireball banking behind my jaws, little white flames licking out from behind my teeth. It was a good thing my jaw was still gaping with the sheer ‘what?’. I had no idea what to do with the flame. I mean, I just slapped the moon into moving with a tongue of white hot fire. What do you do after that? This was Elements of Harmony/Crystal Heart/Rainbow Power level weirdness.

Luna wasn’t doing any better, her expression a perfect reflection of mine. Minus the fiery hot tongue action. That was kinda my thing. She gaped at her moon as it slid lower towards the horizon, wrapped in an envelope of white fire.

I stumbled a little as whatever magic lifted us up into the air finally allowed us back down. We both simply stood there. Or I did, anyway, while holding her in my claws. We stayed like that for a while, soaking in the fresh new sunrise together. Or gaping at it in disbelief. I was too exhausted to know or care.

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I finally decided to try and sum up my thoughts as neatly as I could. “Moon how moon what?” I somehow managed to ask around the little white fireball stubbornly burning in my mouth.

The answer flopped her head against my chest, pulling me into a tight snuggle. She laughed. She laughed and she laughed. I have never heard laughter more merry and bright. Seeing, hearing, feeling her happiness filled me with a fulfilling warmth I couldn't even begin to describe. It felt like I could face anything with one claw, as long as she was holding the other in her hoof.

This is probably what it feels like to be Twilight, having her friends around her to lend her their hooves anytime, anywhere. Or maybe Shining, having Cadence by his side to give him her strength when he needed it most. And it felt awesome!

Yeah, she really was the answer. How could ol' Humdrum Spike wow an entire party full of nobles? How could baby dragon Spike move the whole moon? How could plain hayseed Spike feel like he's the King of Dragons? She's why. She's all the reason I could ever need. Together we're a complete magic circle. Together we can do anything.

Suddenly, all of life's questions were answered. Everything was so simple. And awesome! I gave a loud chuckle, joining in her laughter as I raised her high into the air. She gave a loud squeak, giggling happily as she soared. I wanted to hear more of her beautiful laughter, see more of that radiant smile. I spun her through the air, earning me more gleeful squeaks and tickly laughter. Everything, from the fresh morning breeze running through her silky sapphire mane, the softness of her velvety fur beneath my claws and the golden dawn glowing in her bright teal eyes, was truly perfect.

I finally slowed down, lowering her back to the ground. We gazed at each other as we slowly gathered our breaths. Her cheeks suddenly bloomed with the rosiest blush ever. I was definitely not blushing myself. It's just the little white flame still burning in my mouth, that's all. Totally.

We both quickly turned away, suddenly finding our surrounding scenery/hoofsies oh so very interesting. Yeah. It wasn't awkward, it wasn't awkward at all. Nope.

I suddenly felt her soft hoof reach up to cup my cheek again, turning my gaze to follow hers towards the horizon.

Oh.

Uh.

Right, I don’t think the moon’s supposed to float sideways like that. Neither is it supposed to wobble drunkenly. Yeah, like that. And like that. And...well, that’sdifferent, but still totally wrong. Uh. Did I breathe on it the wrong way or what? Is there an instruction manual for driving this thing?

Luna leaned into me, pushing me to the right.

The moon wobbled even further to the left, preparing to do the first ever lunar loop-the-loop. I’m pretty sure there are laws against that, most of them strict universal physics stuff.

We both quickly leaned back to the left. We held our breaths and strained, because, well, it felt like a good idea at the time.

The moon did the sharpest hairpin turn in the history of...well...never! We could practically hear the celestial tyres skidding on the fabrics of the universe.

I was frowning. She was looking a little too gleeful for her own good. I gave a loud huff as I lifted her up into the air experimentally. That earned me a loud squeak from her and a slow but controlled rise from the moon. I quickly put her back down on the floor, hoping it’d do the opposite. The moon didn’t seem to care much for that, the big stubborn idiot. I wasn't sure what to make of the unhappy little huff she gave me either. But at least I found the ‘rise’ lever. I just had to find the ‘lower’ button.

I gave her an appraising gaze, earning me a quizzical head-tilt from her. Well, if raising her raises the moon then the ‘lower’ button might be somewhere else. Feeling adventurous, I tried tweaking one of her ears. The moon’s glow brightened as I turned it up, dimmed as I flicked it down. The other ear proved just as useful, waxing and waning the moon. Wax, wane, wax, wane, crescent, full, crescent, full, smiley-face, not-smiley-face, smiley-face.

Pouty full moon.

Oh, it was her, pouting up at me. It was quite the impressive pout, her cheeks puffed up into a full moon, her head cocked slightly to one side. That proooobably meant enough practice with the ears.

I stopped playing with her ears. She didn't stop pouting up at me. Alright, so the pout meant something else. But what? Try something else?

Her big bright eyes followed my claw before going cross-eyed as I gave her little nose a boop. Her nose scrunched up as she tilted her head with a frown. The moon, meanwhile, turned from its regular white into a cool blue harvest moon. Huh. I booped her again. Another nose scrunch, another colour change, this time to a hot blood red. Before I could boop her again, she suddenly gave a tiny sneeze that made her sound just like a little breezie. She gave a soft little mewl, pawing at her nose with her forehoof. And then the pout returned with a vengeance.

I wished I could figure out what the pout meant.

My little wind-up toy tilted her head to one side, then the other, before finally giving a little sigh. She sat back on her haunches with a plop and raised both her forehooves up to either side towards me. She did a great impression of a tomato struggling for self-expression as she looked away to one side. I still caught her stealing expectant glances at me out of the corner of her eyes though.

What does it all mean? Why is she just pouting instead of telling me what the problem is? Why are mares so complicated?

Aren't we supposed to figure out how to get that big mulish rock to come down? I mean, we managed to lower it earlier. I'm sure if we just gave it a little thought we could find out what exactly we were doing right earlier. I mean, we were mostly hugging and snuggling and...

Oh.

I felt my cheeks grow a little warm in the sunlight as I finally realized what she wanted.

Uh.

I gave her a sheepish little grin as I spread my arms for her.

She just gave a frustrated little huff and leapt into my claws.

In my defence, I left my “license to moon” at the palace.

Author's Note:

So I realize it's not quite obvious what happened there. And that's mainly because the narrator himself has no idea what's going on. (Heck, he doesn't even realize he's in love yet. He thinks it's all his noble dragon code. Luna, on the other hoof, probably does realize what's going on, considering it's her love powering his magic. Hence her joyful laughter.). But the answer is in this video.

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On a somewhat unrelated note, I wonder what would happen if Spike gave Luna a belly-rub while the spell was active? Or blew her a raspberry on her tummy?

She Likes Waking Me Up With Raspberries

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She Likes to Clean Up the Dishes. And the Competition.

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She Likes to Dress Up For Me

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She Likes to Elope

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She Likes Pancakes. And Flowers. And Pancake Flowers.

I wasn't crying. It was totally not tears that blinded me, making me run aimlessly into, uh, wherever this was. It was probably a forest. The tree I was leaning against as I slowed down was a good clue. Plus the whole place was absolutely lousy with trees. There were too many of them. Why must there be so many of these dumb wooden things when there were too few Raritys? Why must there be so many of these dumb stallions? Why must Rarity have one too many dumb coltfriends?

Why wasn't it me?

"*Hiccup*" I answered my own question.

I groaned inwardly. My insides replied with a sympathetic hiccup. Just what I needed. I couldn't even indulge in self-pity without it being ruined, by a pathetic bout of hiccups of all things.

I heard the sound of running water nearby, the perfect cure for my case of lame. Might as well get it cleared up so I can have less hiccups, more sulk. Who knows, I might even find a drama couch to whine on too.

Even couches reminded me of Rarity. What was wrong with me? Actually, don't answer that.

I pushed apart a particularly dense bush and found not an open grove so much as a stubborn hillock that the trees had been too lazy to grow on. It was an awkward space so out of the way even the late morning sun didn't put much effort into shining through the eaves above. The whole place was so half-hearted even the brook hiding in the corner didn't bother to babble, only ooze and occasionally dribble.

You'd think nopony would be queuing up to get in on this little corner of heaven. But somepony more desperate had beaten me to it. A stout if simple tent stood proud in defiance of the dismal grove and its endless supply of mud and muck. A nearby fire pit carefully built of blackened river stones suggested its owner was reasonably sane, if sanity regularly constructed perfect circles with exactly 2 radians. The ground around it was picked bare of flowers and grass, a few tufts bearing bite marks suggesting recent grazing. It was all very practical but very....what's the word? Otter? Ostler? Austere, yeah, that's it. Austere.

But the most remarkable thing was the large circle drawn into the dirt. It didn't take me long to recognize the complicated markings etched around its edges. You see, there's no such thing as a good or bad mage assistant. Only alive and slightly less alive ones, the difference being their ability to recognize magic circles before stepping on them. There is a reason why I am Twilight's number one assistant; She had never had to count any higher. And my assistant-sense was telling me this was one big kahuna of a magic circle.

Now this magic circle wasn't the sort little unicorn foals doodled on the walls to turn homework into sweets. It was a powerful grown up magic circle that mages of Twilight's calibre (Or better, but that's hardly possible) would use to power transdimensional portals or evade taxes. But Twilight was probably busy trying to find her 'What-To-Do-When-Spike's-Upset' list which leaves the question; What would such a powerful magus be doing living out of a tent in the middle of nowhere?

*Snooooooooore*

Huh, sleeping, obviously.

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It didn't take me long to spot the snoozing camper. A nearby dark mound did its best to pass itself off as a rock with all the mud and stains on it. The slow rise and fall of its furry sides gave it away. They say curiosity kills cats, but a teenage dragon is hardly a cat. I silently circled the mound, studying it closely. A long, dishevelled dark blue mane and tail twirled protectively around its curled-up body. The old twigs and leaves caught in its strands spoke of days if not weeks of neglect. A long stick lay atop a half-finished rune, not too far away from where the figure's bare hooves were curled up tightly against its body. But no matter the angle I could not catch a glimpse of the pony's face.

It didn't take me long to solve that particular problem.

"*Hiccup*"

"H-Hawawawazhatcakeswasalreadyminehwah–?!" The figure suddenly rose with a startle. The surprise in her wide teal green eyes mirrored my own. So did her gaping open muzzle. There was no mistake. It was Princess Luna. A very disheveled and unkempt Princess Luna, but still very much Princess Luna.

"Princess Luna?!" I gasped, stumbling backwards in surprise.

"IS THAT THOU, DEAR SPIKE?!" I was flattened by a Royal Canterlot Voice to the face.

"P-Princess, i-indoor voice, please." I pleaded from where I hugged the ground for dear life. I felt my claws digging furrows into the dirt as I slowly but surely lost ground to her merciless if oblivious onslaught.

"AH, ALL OUR APOLOGIES." The Princess of the night tried to finish the job with a second volley while I was still down. Thankfully, I was tempered in the fires of Sparkle-brand lab accidents, making me very stubbornly blast-proof. It'll take more than *that** to make ol' Spike spontaneously explode! Well, not that much more, but still!*

"Um, I mean, 'sorry', dear Spike." The princess repeated in a voice a little more friendly than a cannon to the head. "While this is hardly 'indoors', I do indeed grasp your meaning. Now, are you whole and undamaged?" She tilted her head to one side as she leaned in closer. Her bright teal eyes were filled with a genuine worry as they looked me over. I would have felt a touch of gratitude for her concern if she didn't suddenly blanket me in her pale silver magic and raise me into the air, turning me this way and that to check me over for any bruises, scrapes or missing limbs.

"I-I'll be fine if you put me down, Princess!" I cried. "Promise!" I added, for good measure.

Seemingly satisfied that my head was still miraculously attached to the rest of me, she finally put me down. "I will take your word for it, good Spike." The Princess nodded. "I am sorry. Old habits, one that I have worked hard at overcoming. Your startling me in my..." She paused as she frowned at her surroundings, as if reconsidering her words. "...meditation did not help."

So either she graduated from the Rainbow Dash school of meditation or she flunked out of the Applejack university of lying.

"That was you meditating?" I asked, not bothering to leave the disbelief out of my voice. The look on her face was almost a challenge, one I very quickly backed out of. Wisely. "Uh, sorry for bothering your meditatingfulness, Princess." I said, quickly.

There is a saying in Equestria; You do not disagree with the Night, the Night disagrees with you.

"It is no trouble at all, dear Spike." The Princess gave me a graceful nod. She slowly got up to her hooves, standing with the usual rapt attention that was second nature to the royal guard. With her military bearing came that overbearing guardsmare stoicness that made talking to her about as easy as chatting with an oncoming locomotive. It felt like the mighty Moon Express hurtled faster and faster towards me with every deadly moment the gaping silence between us remained empty.

She scuffed a hoof on the ground, giving it an intense glare, as if accusing it of daring to exist. She bit her lip, her brow furrowing in obvious frustration. She cast her eyes around, at the trees, the sky, the ground, as if seeking something to banish to the moon. The drooping of her tail, the flattening of her ears, the quiver in her lips, everything screamed mounting anger at my silence. I was desperate for something, anything, to talk about. And then inspiration struck me. "The sky's blue and I like ponytails!" I blurted out.

What. The. Flying. Flocking. Pancakes. In. Discord's. Ear. Was. That?!

She suddenly looked up at me, her eyes gleaming dangerously. Twi, Mom, Dad, sorry for leaving so suddenly. I'll be sure to write you all from whatever planet I get banished to.

"Yes! The sky is indeed very blue!" She suddenly agreed, surprisingly enthusiastic, perhaps a little too enthusiastic for somepony in a towering rage. Maybe...she wasn't angry after all? "So blue in fact that I decree this a blueness a new royal standard for the colour blue!" She threw a commanding forehoof into the air, looking very pleased with her new royal decree. "I also like...uh...." She looked around behind her, raising a hindhoof up to turn her flank towards her while swishing her long, silky indigo tail experimentally. "...ponytails?" She hazarded. She gave it another swish, then another, slowly trotting around in a slow, tight circle to appraise her own tail further. Then, as if satisfied it had passed some kind of test, she gave her own tail a proud little nod.

A conversation! We were having a conversation! And it wasn't me pleading for mercy while hurtling towards some random celestial body either! Whatever I was doing, I was doing it well. Eager not to lose any momentum or my life, I made another courageous stab. "So, this circle is very round." I said, pointing at the half-finished magic circle.

"The circle?" Luna looked down at the circle. "Oh yes, I made it myself." She said. She even looked somewhat proud of the fact. Good, the conversation's flowing and I'm still alive!

"What for?" I asked, suddenly curious.

She paused for a moment before giving me a flat poker face. "I must have been sleep-casting. In my sleep."

Yeah, right, and I am a pink fluffy unicorn dancing on rainbows. A quick study of the circle gave me the answers I needed. I wasn't the Element of Magic's number one assistant for nothing. "This is a finders-keepers spell, set to locate the nearest town." I pointed out.

The Princess made a show of giving the circle an appraising look before nodding, "So it is. You are quite well-read, dear Spike. On a worryingly boring subject, I might add."

A side-effect of lifelong Twilight Sparkle exposure. There is no cure.

So either she was trying to set the record for the most ambitious sleep-walk ever or she was lost and she got so tired she fell asleep constructing her magic circle. I looked over my shoulder at the way I came. We're practically in the Friendship Castle's backyard. Sure, the castle's backyard kinda does go halfway up to Canterlot, but you get the idea. "Why didn't you just fly up to find the nearest town?" I suggested.

To my puzzlement, the Princess responded by frowning down at the tips of her hoofsies, as if the answer might be written there somewhere. She slowly tilted her head to one side, then to the other. It kinda reminded me of a wind-up toy for some reason, ever so slowly but surely winding up to prepare to....oh...

She looked up at me. Oh, horseapples, she looked up at me. It was like attempting a staring contest with space itself, infinitely patient, deathly silent, and....forgot.... to breathe...

And then she blinked. I gasped for breath. But I was far from relief. She was still looking at me with the most furiously expectant deadpan face ever. Had to say something, say something while I still had some breath to say something with! "Uh, yeah, that's just me being silly. Because flying's just silly, because, uh..." I floundered for ideas, "Uh, yeah! Because you can't see anything at night no matter how high you flew, right?"

I congratulated myself on my quick-thinking as, to my relief, Princess Luna was quick to nod in agreement. "Exactly, Dear Spike. That is exactly why I didn't think of using my wings." She nodded, sagely.

Wait, did I hear that right? "Excuse me, Princess?"

"That is exactly why I didn't use my wings." She repeated, patiently. "Now, tell me, dear Spike, what are you doing here in this..."Her words were interrupted by an incredible rumble of thunder. Or possibly her tummy. It was difficult to tell.

She gave me a look that could have brought down the ice age and killed off the dinosaurs. On second thought, it probably did. That, combined with the soft red blush on her dark blue cheeks, insisted, very hard, that it was not her tummy.

"Uh..." I began, before withering a little as she slowly tilted her head to one side. "Sorry, that was me. I'm veeeeery very hungry." I admitted with a nervous chuckle. I totally hadn't had a massive breakfast.

"That is perfectly fine, dear Spike. You are a but a growing child in constant need of nourishment after all." She beamed, looking very pleased. "I have some rations of tin in my saddlebags there. You may use them to make yourself a meal." She pointed a forehoof at her tent.

I just assumed she meant she had been living off canned food rather than actual tin.

"I'm afraid my squad must have taken the opener of cans with them when we split our search three weeks ago so I may have to defer to your draconic qualities to get these stubborn tins to surrender their innards." She added as I peered into her tent. It was not difficult to find her saddlebags. There was little else in her tent other than the saddlebags she had obviously been using as a pillow. At least somepony had the sense to lay out a soft, springy cloud on the ground. The only other feature within was the carefully laid out armour pieces along one edge of the tent.

I half-expected The Princess' usual royal peytral and horseshoes. Instead I found the royal night guard's boring standard issue full-plate. With it was what was no doubt Princess Luna's pair of unicorn rapiers, weapons notable for being double-ended blades. Contrary to popular fiction, Princess Luna's blades were not made of fancily wrought silver, engraved with the records of every battle she had won, studded with enough gems and pearls to pay for a prince's ransom. They were simple but well-polished and sharpened instruments of battle, adorned with nothing more than simple inscriptions upon the blades; 'Do Not Draw Me Without Purpose' on one, 'Do Not Wield Me Without Honour' on the other.

Deciding not to linger too long in a lady's bedroom, no matter how loosely it qualified, I quickly dug through her saddlebags. Like her tent, it was sparsely filled. Apart from the cans of rations there was hardly anything else other than some paper, a quill, a length of rope and, oddly, a roll of bubble-wrap. Half of said bubble wrap had already been very methodically popped. A few of the cans of rations bore multiple dents, as if somepony had bashed them repeatedly against something dull. I frowned down at the dented cans before looking back up at where she stood peering over my shoulder.

She gave me an impassive look in return.

I slowly flicked my eyes upwards to her horn. I mean, c'mon, surely an all powerful alicorn did not try to hammer cans open with her hooves?!

Her eyes followed my gaze up to her horn. Then she looked back down at the tips of her hoofsies. She did her wind-up toy impression again, tilting her head one way, the another. And then she looked back up at me, giving me an even more impassive look. It was quite an incredible feat considering how furiously she was blushing. It was a look so impassive in fact that it threatened to roast my scales on the spot.

"Yeah, definitely no can opener in there." I agreed, with all the care of handling an orthos in a washing machine. "It's so can-opener-less that there's a real anti-can-opener vibe in there, yeah."

"Indeed. An existence devoid of these openers of cans is a sorry one indeed." The Princess nodded. There was another loud rumble that was definitely not her tummy. "Especially as you are so hungry, dear Spike." She said, looking the very picture of motherly worry.

I gave her a quick glance, making sure she was watching. I picked up one can in my claw and took a nice deep breath. I felt the familiar rumble build up in my belly, the rising heat tickling my throat, before a gout of bright emerald flame erupted from my mouth. I carefully angled the flame so that it caught the top of the can in my claw and nothing more. The flames died away in a wisp of dark green smoke, taking the can's lid with it. "There we go, instant strawberries." I grinned, offering the open can up to her with a flourish.

"Most ingenious." She gave me an eager smile, plucking a magically-preserved strawberry out of the can with her magic and plopping it in her mouth. "Mmmmmh~! Divine!" She closed her eyes in obvious pleasure. Judging by the chewed-upon state of the local plant life, she had probably been grazing on nothing but grass and flowers for the past three weeks.

"I'll just make myself some brunch now, shall I?" I asked, as diplomatically as possible. I looked at the cans available and decided I had enough magically-preserved hay-flour and eggs to make some pancakes. Except there'd be nothing to eat them on while they're nice and warm and waiting for them to be cool enough to eat by hoof or claw is just ick. A few buttercups and roses around the tent that had somehow managed to avoid the Princess' appetite caught my eye. Then an idea struck me. "I think I know just the thing." I told the Princess.

"Hm, yes, you go do that." She said, looking expectant. "I could not help but wonder, however, Spike. Do you ever risk sending your own claw?" She asked, pulling out another strawberry from the can.

"Nah, my dragonfire's not strong enough to send living stuff. Not yet, anyway." I shrugged as I lit the fire. Besides, I don't think it'd work on myself. Otherwise I'd be sending all my insides to Celestia each time. Eww, gross image, cannot unsee.

"Do you think my sister has a canned strawberry lid stuck upon her horn right now?" The Princess asked with a hint of amusement.

"Uh..."

Oh horseapples.

"I'll just open the others with my claws, I think." I quickly said. So much for trying to impress the Princess. I probably had another Princess to apologize to. In a way it was a good thing I was only strong enough to send and receive stuff to and from royals at the time. I mean, otherwise the random lid could have gone anywhere. I mean, imagine it ending up in Yakyakistan. It'd probably spark yet another war just by landing on someyak's front lawn.

The Princess' tummy chose to not-rumble and interrupt my thoughts, reminding me of the more pressing matter at hoof. I flipped my first pancake out of the skillet, catching it in a buttercup before drizzling it with strawberry chippings. I peered out at the Princess out of a corner of my eye. I allowed myself an inward chuckle as I saw her stare wide-eyed at my creation, ears twitching, tail swaying, her whole body leaning forwards as if hoping to pull the pancake-flower to herself by sheer gravity alone. Something told me she wasn't about to ask me for it, and it totally wasn't the defiant pride in her eyes. Fortunately, feeding stubborn alicorn princesses is part of my job description.

With a naturalness borne by experience, I made a show of accidentally stumbling over my own tail, letting the pancake-flower slip out of my claws and into the air. It didn't get very far. An alicorn-shaped kitten snapped it out of the air before landing in a power-slide.

"Hahah!" Princess Luna held the flower up in a forehoof triumphantly. "Five second rule!" She declared, before scarfing it down in one bite.

"Pretty sure the five second rule is about how long you can leave dropped food on the ground, not how long till you eat it." I said with a chuckle.

"I am the Princess of the Night. I am the rules." Princess Luna declared with a fleck of cream adorning her nose.

"If you say so, Princess." I rolled my eyes.

I suddenly realized something. I was talking with the Princess. I had graduated from fighting for my life to actually chatting with her. Complete with sarcastic eye-rolling.

Wow, I guess I'm just *that** awesome.* I chuckled to myself as I took a deep breath to blow another can open. I was rudely interrupted by a hiccup, reminding me exactly why I was there to begin with.

Even the hiccups were beginning to remind me of Rarity.

"Dear Spike, what ails you?" The Princess suddenly asked, looking down at me worriedly. "Your eyes are red and you are hiccupping. Have you been weeping?" She asked with as much subtle tact as a thrown pie.

"Oh, nah." I grunted, waving a dismissive claw at her. Yet another hiccup helped my case. "I'm totally fine. Just...fine." I breathed, willing the hiccups to drown in the napalm in my belly. I was given another hiccup for my troubles.

"You are not." Princess Luna decided for me. "You can tell me now or I shall simply find out when you dream tonight." If there's one thing we've had awesome success with, it's teaching the Princess the concept of privacy; For one thing, she has stopped teleporting into pony's houses at night to watch them sleep. But trying to convince her that dreams are private has been as successful as explaining physics to Pinkie. "But first you shall drink from my canteen. I shall not have this tale punctuated needlessly by your hiccups." She said, floating a waterskin over to me. I didn't know anypony still used those.

As I took a swig from the waterskin a thought occurred to me; Maybe if I hiccuped too much I could get away with not telling her the story.

And just like that my hiccups went away. Ponyfeathers.

"....and after the gemstone chimichanga parade led by Gummy, there'll be Dr. Hooves' fireless fireworks, though I could never understand how you can have fireworks without fire. But that's a good thing, because I forgot where I hid most of them. And after that the band will start playing the Pony Pokey, and...."

I looked down at the minutes of the Council of Friendship meeting in my claws. I had long since given up writing down everything Pinkie says. I bit my lip as I wrote down the next entry; 'Pinkie Pie being Pinkie Pie'. That pretty much covered everything. I felt a little bad. As the Castle's staff grew larger and larger on Princess Celestia's insistence, my list of responsibilities had grown smaller and smaller. Now writing the minutes was all I got to do and I wasn't even bothering to do it properly.

"That sounds wonderful, Pinkie." Twilight quickly got a word in as Pinkie finally paused for air. Contrary to popular belief, Pinkie Pie does breathe. Once in a while. "But gemstone chimichangas? Fireless fireworks indoors? The Pony Pokey of all things? Are you sure all of that is appropriate for a party with the nobles?" She gave her pink friend a hopeful, almost pleading smile.

"But this is Spike's birthday party!" Pinkie protested. I couldn't help but feel gratitude for somepony, anypony, speaking up for me. I didn't even bother. Nopony would listen to me, never mind my seat at this Council of Friendship. "I mean, you've already stopped me making it a proper surprise party. C'mon, Twilight, it's not everyday somepony, or somedrake, turns eighteen! Well, sure there's somepony turning eighteen out there every day, but you know what I mean. Oooh, does that mean I should be throwing a party every single day for ponies turning eighteen somewhere out there?"

"I know, turning eighteen is indeed very special, and I'm ever so sorry, Spike, darling." An angel spoke up. She shimmered as she slowly turned those beautiful sapphire blue eyes towards me. Her silky voice, sweet as rubies, washed over me, drowning out anything and everything else. "But Blueblood dearest is trying to help the Council build better relations with the nobles. He's worked so hard to invite as many of Canterlot's elite as possible to tonight's party, the poor dear." And just like that, the mention of Rarity's coltfriend popped my little bubble.

"Ya'know, Rares, I ain't got nuthin' 'gainst that there coltfriend of yers. Hay, Ah'll even buy the story that he's 'reformed' for a minute." Applejack spoke up. "But ya sure he's invitin' over all these nobles to Spike's birthday party out of the pure kindness of his heart? Ya sure he ain't planin' something?"

"Oh, for goodness sake, Applejack, darling, do be sensible and listen to yourself. One might make the mistake of thinking you were actually jealous of Blueblood." Rarity chided, dropping the unsaid like a weight on Applejack's jaw.

"Wh-wha...?" The apple farmer's slack jaw just flapped feebly at Rarity.

"My darling Blueblood is simply making use of a casual little gathering as an excuse to help the nobles mingle with us. And I'm sure dear Spikey Wikey's more than happy to help the council. After all, he's such an understanding little gentlecolt, isn't he?" She smiled a sickly sweet smile at me.

"Um, yeah." I smiled a totally not-goofy smile back at her. Yeah, it's alright. Because Rarity says it's alright. She's always right. Even if Rarity does agree with Blueblood a lot these days. Horseapples. Isn't the 'reformation' bandwagon already full enough with the likes of Princess Luna, Discord and Gilda without Blueblood jumping onboard? I mean, if the prize for reforming is having Rarity for a marefriend then sign me up with the dark side, pronto!

Huh, wait. Sure, I don't remember the details all that well, but doesn't rampaging through Ponyville as a sixty hoof dragon qualify me for the reformation club?

"And that's why we need to do our best to make friends with them today. With their support I'm sure we'll finally be able to push all 404 articles of the Friendship reforms through parliament." Twilight nodded, before quickly sparing a moment for me, "Sorry, Spike." She said with what I suppose was an apologetic smile.

"Twilight Sparkle says 'sorry, Spike'." I nodded, writing it down in the minutes. Perhaps it was a little passive aggressive of me, but it didn't matter. Twilight had quickly turned away to face her friends to discuss how else they'll help the nobles ruin my birthday party. Ever since her efforts with Yakyakistan a while back, Twilight had gotten more and more ambitious in her plans to 'make friends' with the world. Her grandest project to date was befriending Equestria's own nobility. Rainbow Dash had likened it to eating a flying sofa; impossible and stupid. For the most part everypony had agreed. That was until Blueblood arrived.

Turns out stupidity's contagious. Who would have thought?

Darn Blueblood.

"I've read every chapter in 'In the Hoofsteps of Nobility' by High Horse and it's given me a few ideas." Twilight began. Oh, here we go. At least they can't do anything worse than my most disastrous birthday ever; that one time I kinda overdid the birthday binge and went full-dragon on Ponyville. "We'll have Octavia's classic chamber band provide the music. We'll start the party with an opening dance led by the guest of honour..." Though it would look like Twilight was taking a desperate shot at second place.

"There might be a problem with that. Poor Spikey Wikey doesn't have a partner for the dance, does he?" Rarity said with a worried frown, "If you're still having trouble, darling, I can suggest a few ponies. I'm sure Sweetie Belle..."

"Sweetie Belle's going with Button Mash." I said. That came out a little more curtly than intended. But I wasn't in the mood to apologize.

"How about Scootaloo?" Rarity turned to give Rainbow Dash a questioning look.

"Horseapples." Rainbow Dash growled, slowly sitting up from where she had been lounging in her chair.

"Excuse me?" Rarity rounded on her pegasus friend. "What...?"

Rainbow sat up fully, slamming a forehoof on the council table. "I can't believe I sat here and listened to you all and your lame-o ponyfeathers for a full hour. Do you all even listen to yourselves?"

"Why, I never! Rainbow Dash, explain yourself!" Rarity demanded, rising up to Rainbow.

"Oh? Wow, Rarity, I'd never think I'd have to help you find a mirror. Well, let me spell it out for you." Rainbow growled through her teeth, "This. Is. Spike's. Eighteenth. Birthday."

"And?" Rarity demanded, "Dear Spikey Wikey has said it many times already, he's fine with...."

"That's because you...!" Rainbow flapped her wings angrily, raising up into the air to loom over Rarity.

"Whoah there, sugarcube. Let's not say too muchly now." Applejack finally found her jaw as she bit down on Rainbow's tail, pulling her back down. "Still, we shouldn't have to say muchly at all. Rares, you know what we're talking about. Ah know Spike's right here, but enough is enough. Ah agree, this is Spike's eighteenth birthday. There's a line ya just don't cross."

"Um, yes, this is kind of mean." Fluttershy whispered from her corner of the Council table. "You know poor Spike will always say 'yes' to you. Um, sorry." She gave me an apologetic smile.

Rarity stared open-mouthed at all her friends. She took a deep breath, seemingly doing her best to appear the voice of reason. "I simply cannot understand what's gotten all of you so worked up. Dear Spikey Wikey is more than happy to...."

"Stop. Manipulating. Him!" Rainbow barked furiously. "You feathering know he has a crush on you! Why the hay are you still leading him on?!"

"Rainbow!" Somepony, maybe more than one, rose up, probably to stop Rainbow from saying more. I don't know. I didn't stop to look. Not that I could see much through all the water my face was leaking.

"Spike!" I heard Twilight call out after me. But I was already out the door.

I wasn't crying. I totally wasn't. I wasn't sitting there, hugging my tail and curling up into a little ball. I wasn't being lame. I wasn't being lame at all.

Princess Luna paused in the middle of ravaging a bouquet of fresh hot pancake-flowers. She somehow managed to frown at me over her bulging cheeks filled to bursting with pancake-y goodness. She looked between me and the pancake flowers, frowning all the while. Seemingly winning some internal struggle against her hungry belly, she set the bouquet of pancake flowers aside and scooted sideways towards me. I felt a soft, fluffy wing awkwardly but gently curl around me, pulling me up against her side.

I'm not a baby dragon, not anymore. I don't need hugs and stuff. It was just....it was just easier to lean into her than it was to move away, that's all.

She was really warm. It almost felt like being hugged by Twilight. It was nice. It felt like the whole world outside her wing didn't exist. There was just me and her steady breathing against me.

"Mrrmblemumblewimble." Princess Luna said something that was probably deep and profound. Except there was a mouthful of pancake in the way. "Mrblegrumblerumblemeep." She went on speaking Pancake as she pulled me closer against her.

"*Snrk*" I wasn't able to stifle it for long. I burst out laughing. I laughed and laughed. I laughed so hard I cried. The tears wouldn't stop. Even the hiccups came for the ride. But I didn't care. I was laughing so much the whole world just melted away into one big joke. And it felt great.

"Umusqueakyeepledoom." Princess Luna muttered with a disapproving look, but judging by how closely she still held me she probably didn't mean half of what she said. Whatever it was.

"Hahah! Yeah, you're too awesome, Princess." I laughed.

That seemed to mollify her a bit. "Rumplemrplefumfum." She raised her head as she placed a forehoof on her chest, looking the very picture of proud grace. Even with the cheeks full of pancake.

"You might want to finish the pancakes before somepony else does it for you though." I said, taking a gulp out of the canteen to drown out the hiccups once and for all. Luna quickly rounded on her bouquet of pancake flowers, giving out a loud war-squeak at the little flight of birds scouting it for pillage. She swiped her pancakes up into the air in her magic out of the reach of the cowering birds. She frowned for a moment, looking between the pancakes and the birds. The internal struggle raging within her showed on her troubled face. She finally gave a soft sigh, pulling out one whole pancake flower to share.

The birds hopped over to her, studying the pancake she held out to them in her forehoof. One particularly courageous robin took a peck. Then another. Encouraged by their brother robin, the rest quickly approached her to eat out of her forehoof.

The Princess carried on munching on her own pancakes, not bothering to remove the forehoof the birds were using as a feedbowl. She probably didn't need to do that, but she didn't seem to mind. The birds certainly didn't.

And just like that Princess Luna made Rarity, everything, feel a million miles away. She didn't even say anything. Well, nothing comprehensible anyway. But there was a deep sincerity in everything she did, whether it was awkwardly pulling me into a hug or comforting me in Pancake. She was caring if awkwardly so, but more than that she was honest and frank, hiding nothing (intentionally or no). I knew that her kindness to me was genuine, and to me at the time that meant the world. Probably more.

I couldn't help but snigger, watching as more birds arrived, landing all over Luna, turning the Moon into quite the aviary. They laid siege to her with their pleading looks. But the Princess of the Night scowled unflinchingly in the face of their unrelenting assault, holding her own bouquet of pancakes protectively against her chest. I suspect she would have held out the siege forever if I hadn't come to her rescue.

"Princess Luna, never fear. There's more where that came from." I nodded at the pancakes I was finishing up on the little camping skillet. "This one has blueberries in them." I gave her a wink.

The Princess' eyes widened as she finally gulped her mouthful. She set down her bouquet of pancakes, pushing them aside towards the birds, before scooting closer to the campfire. She gazed down at the pancakes, seemingly intent on devouring them with her eyes alone. She looked between me and the pancakes, her eyes wide with disbelief. "Blueberries?" She breathed, "In pancakes?" Her voice was almost a squeak.

"With peanut butter." I added with a sly grin. "Stuffed into some wild roses I found."

"W-witchcraft..." She breathed, "Are you some sort of wizard?"

"Oh, in my spare time." I said, airily. "Would you like some, Princess?" I asked, teasingly.

The Princess scowled at my teasing before turning away with a huff. "I would not want to intrude upon your meal." Her words were punctuated by another loud tummy rumble. "But if you insist, just the one, perhaps." She muttered, her lips quickly inflating into a pout.

She took ten.

"Ahah. That most definitely hit the plot." Princess Luna patted her tummy with a happy smile on her face. She sat back with a content sigh, leaning on the grass with her forehooves as she looked up at the noon sun above.

"You mean the 'spot'." I corrected as I cleaned up the debris from our impromptu brunch with the help of the birds. It's the least they can do to help clean off the crumbs.

"That is indeed what I said." The Princess nodded. "My compliments to the chef. Join me, dear Spike. Together we can overturn Donut Joe's iron grasp upon Canterlot's bellies!" She waved a forehoof imperiously at the invisible donut army in the sky.

"Heheh, sure thing, Princess." I chuckled, "After a bath and a brush." My laughter died away in my throat as I noticed her look down at the tip of her hoofsies again. Then came the wind-up toy impression as she cocked her head to one side, then the other.

"My bath! Mine!" I quickly corrected with a grimace before she could give me the stare-mageddon again.

"Hmmm, there is merit in your suggestion, Spike." The Princess said with a nod, "Not to say you need a bath, but that I might join in your plan." She gave herself a discrete sniff, "Hm, yes, merit indeed." She nodded to herself, scrunching up her muzzle.

That....went surprisingly well. I guess she's more open to ideas when fed. With pancakes. Gotta keep that in mind.

"I am certain the Bubbly Creek is nearby. If we can convince the cragadiles living there to vacate it for the afternoon, I can see to this bath." The Princess nodded to herself as she stood up.

"Whoah! Wait, Princess!" I waved a claw for her to stop. That was a grade A bad idea if I ever heard one, and I regularly hung out with Rainbow Dash. I mean, cragadiles are an endangered species after all. "Uh, while I'm sure you have no problems dealing with a creek full of pony-eating monsters...."

"Indeed, I do not." The Princess affirmed, "It is no different from a day at the royal court, except I suspect the creek's inhabitants would be of a sunnier and less murderous disposition."

"Well, why bother the neighbours when you can have a nice proper experience at the Ponyville spa? I work there so it'll be my treat." I offered, quickly, before the Princess could get any further ideas.

"I appreciate your offer, but I do not wish to impose upon your kindness any further, dear Spike." Princess Luna waved a dismissive hoof. But from the swish in her tail and the twitch in her ears, I could tell she was sorely tempted. In many ways she was just as easy to read as Twilight.

"I insist, Princess." I said, "I would love to have you over. I mean, these days Twilight has so many servants for just about everything, I barely get to do anything..." I slowly turned to face the ground, all while watching her out of the corner of my eye. I even idly scuffed the ground with a foot for good measure. The frown and tilting of her head to one side told of slow but very one-sided battle of wills.

"Does the spa house rubber duckies?" She suddenly asked in a quiet voice.

"Uh, yes?" I hazarded.

The rubber duckies seemed to win the day. "Very well, Spike. You and these duckies of rubber shall attend to me this day. For that and the food I shall owe you a boon twice repaid." She gave me a slow smile and a nod. She trotted over to her tent and levitated her saddlebags out, balancing them on her back. "Still, I cannot enter Ponyville as a Princess." She said, thoughtfully, as she stamped out the fire with a single stomp of her forehoof.

"Yeah, Ponyville kinda goes all cuckoo every time you Princesses visit." I nodded in agreement. The Cakes flooded Sugarcube Corner with tea, Fluttershy foalnapped royalty and everypony almost got banished and thrown into a dungeon in that place they were banished to, and that was only the first royal visit.

"And it would not do for me to visit on your Birthday. It would be poor to upstage the guest of honour." She said, tapping her chin thoughtfully with a wing. "Besides, there is the matter of Blueblood. Hmm, yes. It is decided." Her horn lit up with its usual silver sheen. The glow spread until her whole body was bathed in the same bluish white light. A brief spark later and Princess Luna was no longer there. Before me stood a petite pegasus mare, her smaller face and easy smile a picture of youthful impish charm. She tossed her long, silky two-toned azure and silver mane as she basked in my open-mouthed stare. She slowly turned around to reveal her crescent moon cutie mark. It had turned silver, shedding the dark midnight shroud of her Princess form. "Your thoughts, dear Spike?" She asked with a slow smile.

"Uh." I answered, intelligently.

Princess Luna gave a light chuckle into a wing tip. "Well, the best place to test a weapon's merit is the field of battle." She trotted off in a random direction, "Come, dear Spike. Let us conquer the day. And the baths." She thrust a forehoof imperiously into the air in the general direction of nowhere.

"Uh, Princess, that's the wrong way." I pointed out.

To my horror, the Princess paused, gazing down at her hoofsies, going all wind-up toy again. Right, princesses do not get rumbly tummies, do not forget to use their horns or wings, do not get dirty and certainly do not get lost! I rushed up ahead, grimacing all the while. "Uh, what I meant was, if I don't stick with you I might go the wrong way." I quickly said. "So, uh, can we walk back together?"

"Why, certainly, dear Spike." The Princess smiled as I fell into step next to her. We ended up taking the long way around back to Ponyville. The cragadiles were spared though.