Gay Marriage Approval goes through the roof!
Author's Note
After America decided to make gay marriage legal, we celebrated by writing this story. Enjoy!
Gay Marriage Approval goes through the roof!
“But I don’t get it...why isn’t it legal?” Rainbow Dash asked Fluttershy.
“W-well Celestia never really talked about gay marriage before, so we don’t really know if it is illegal or not.” FLuttershy responded with.
“Should we pitch the idea to her?” Rainbow Dash asked.
“No, I think we should maybe try getting more people on our side first. Maybe we can just legalize it in the village first and then work our way up?” Fluttershy asked.
“Hmmmm, sounds like a plan!” Rainbow Dash yelled. What originally was supposed to just be a normal day has now turned into the quest to legalize gay marriage in all of Equestria.
Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash eagerly set up a stand on the street corner. Rainbow Dash danced around with a giant sign that said “Legalize Gay Marriage Everypony”. Fluttershy sat patiently behind the stand with a piece of paper for people to sign. After 20 minutes of not much happening, Applejack approached the stand.
“...What are yall doin’ out here today girls?” Applejack said while glaring at them.
“Oh boy! Did you come here to sign our petition Applejack?” Rainbow Dash yelled excitedly.
“Nah, I came here to tell ya’ll that I’m not yer friends anymoar an’ that if ya don;t stop what yer doin’ then the south sha’ll rise!”. Applejack yelled.
“Do you h-have something against what we stand up for?” Fluttershy asks.
“Why yes. Yes I do. It goes against my religion and I won’t stand for this!” Applejack says before leaving.
“It’s okay Fluttershy, we don’t need someone as stuck up as her!” Rainbow Dash said.
“I-I guess your right.” Fluttershy says with a slight grin.
“Oh boy look! Here comes Applebloom!” Rainbow Dash said.
“Oh gosh, what’s going on here?” Applebloom asks.
“Wanna sign our petition to legalize gay marriage?” Fluttershy asks.
“Well, I can’t. Not after what happened the last time.” Applebloom said then walked away, depressed.
“well hydey ho!” Filthy Rich announced his presence with glee. He rode on a carriage made out of complete gold. It was being dragged by 2 completely naked and bruised looking humans. Fluttershy even thought she heard one of them mutter “Kill me”.
“Have you come here to sign our petition?” Fluttershy asked.
“...petition? You mean to tell me that you 2 lovely girls aren’t sitting here on this corner because you’re trying to sell your bodies for money? I always loved myself an escort!” Filthy Rich exclaimed.
“YOU FILTHY CIS SCUM! GET OUT OF HERE! AND CHECK YOUR PRIVILEGE ON YOUR WAY OUT!” As Rainbow Dash yelled that she got obese and grew 50’s styled women’s glasses.
“Well fine, I’ll just go spend my afternoon counting all my money that I got off of taking advantage of the poor! MOVE SLAVES!” Filthy Rich said as he whipped his humans and rode off. As Filthy Rich rode off Rainbow Dash slowly went back to her normal self.
“Sorry about that Fluttershy, I only transform like that when misogynists are around.” Rainbow Dash said.
“I-I understand I guess?” Fluttershy said.
“Hey there ladies!” Snowflake said.
“Oh great, are you here for the same reason that last pony was?” Rainbow Dash asked.
“What? Of course not! I’m all about this kind of stuff dude!” Snowflake carefully grabbed the pen with his massive arms, trying his best not to break the pen by accident.
“T-thanks Snowflake.” Fluttershy said.
“No problem little dudes! So, once this get’s passed were gonna dress up like retards and parade around town so everyone has less respect for us...right?” Snowflake asked.
“Why of course!” Rainbow Dash said.
10 minutes later scootaloo and babs seed approached the stand.
“H-Hey girls, would you like to sign our petition to legalize gay marriage?” Fluttershy asked.
“Yeah su-” but before Scootaloo could finish her sentence, Babs punched her in the shoulder and gave stern look. “Uh, nevermind guys. I don’t really wanna.”
“Pffft, fine! Losers!” Rainbow Dash said.
“Hey, Rainbow Dash. Why not go to the school to get Cherilee to sign our petition?” Fluttershy asked.
“Like, that sounds, totally tubular Fluttershy!” Rainbow Dash said.
Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy entered the school with confidence, they made it all the way up to Cherilee’s room.
“Hey Cherilee! Wanna sign our petition to legalize gay marriage?” Rainbow Dash asked.
“Well, sure. Equality for everypony is the perfect idea.” Cherilee said.
“Oh, look at these nerds. What are you goons doing here?” Diamond Tiara said as she approached with silver spoon.
“Hey children, well these two nice ladies here brought a petition to legalize gay marriage. Why don’t you both do the right thing and sign it?” Cherilee said.
“Of course I’ll sign it, then all the freaks will come out of the closet we’ll know who to mess with.” Diamond Tiara said.
“Children, you shouldn’t bully people, it’s not right.” Cherilee said.
“I don’t think of myself as a bully, I think of myself as a force of nature that does its part in helping correct all of Celestia’s mistakes.” Silver Spoon says with a completely straight face in a completely monotone voice.
“W-well that’s not very nice.” Fluttershy said.
“Shouldn’t you and that colorful pony be sleeping with my dad?” Diamond Tiara asks.
“It doesn’t even matter Fluttershy, they signed the petition. That’s all that counts. Let’s get out of here.” Rainbow Dash said.
As they are leaving the school they could hear a distant southern voice yelling “Hell yeah! I’ve got the power of god!” When they got closer they noticed it was Applejack on a drivable lawnmower wielding a double barreled shotgun.
Applejack lept of the lawnmower when it was within a few feet of the duo before bringing her shotgun to bear on them.
“Ya heathonous varmints! I tried to be nice an leave ya’ll alone tah rot in hell peacefully but when ya try tah drag the children witcha I gotta make a stand. I’m sorry it’s had to come tah this but it’s yer fault!” Applejack zero’d her sights in on Rainbow before squeezing both triggers on the shotgun. The kickback of those twelve gauge shells being loosed from those beautiful steel tubes of freedom was satisfying for all of a nanosecond before she realized that she was holding the gun backwards and loosed said bullets at herself.
Applejack’s head exploded into gore like some sort of over ripened juicy red fruit whose name I can’t seem to put my finger on, her lifeless body unceremoniously slumped to the ground with only rainbowdash’s contemptuous eyes bearing witness to her final moment
“Stupid fucking republicans” Rainbow Dash said
“Alright Rainbow Dash, how about you go order the truck full of lube and I’ll go get the last 2 signatures. It says here were only missing the Flim Flam brothers.” Fluttershy said.
“Sounds good to me!” Rainbow Dash yelled.
Fluttershy wandered around the village for hours searching for the brothers. She stopped to ask a random civilian. “Hey random civilian. Have you seen the Flim Flam brothers around anywhere?”
“Oh yeah, they’re in that dark alley way you probably shouldn’t go down.” The pony said.
“Oh, thanks.” Fluttershy said as she walked down the alleyway.
“Well now.”
“It seems that.”
“You have.”
“Fallen into.”
“Our devious trap!”
“Wait, what?” Fluttershy said.
“Hey Flim!”
“Yes Flam?”
“Since being gay is a choice, how about we be straight for a little while?” Then the Flim Flam brothers proceeded to rape Fluttershy. No, I’m NOT gonna describe the rape scene. I think all clop fics are disgusting and I also think the people who read them are equally disgusting.
“Hey Fluttershy, I ordered the truck of water based lubricant for the parade!” Rainbow Dash said as she wandered into the alley way. She stopped, and saw fluttershy, barely alive staring up at her.
“....Legalizing gay marriage was a mistake.” Fluttershy let out before dying.
“Ah!”
“That was great!”
“We can go back to being gay now!”
“We’ll even sign your petition.”
“Alright, thanks. Well, at least Fluttershy died doing what she loved.” Rainbow Dash said, and then headed to the mayor’s office. When she got there, Rarity and Twilight were there talking about taxes and other things that weren’t important.
“Hey mayor, I got the petition signed. Is being gay legal now?” Rainbow Dash said.
The mayor, without actually looking at the petition, threw it over her shoulder and replies with “Yeah sure.”
“Great, I’ll go make assless chaps for the parade. Spike! Get the knives! We’ll need A LOT of leather.” Rarity said.
“And I’ll go write a letter to Celestia about the occasion.” Twilight said.
Soon the ceremony started, every gay pony in Equestria came to celebrate. They all sported colorful leather outfits with various amounts of adult toys stapled upon their bodies. Pinkie Pie even loaded her party cannon with lube and sprayed it upon the crowd as they danced around, hugged each other, and fellated each other.
-----------------------------------------Meanwhile at the castle-----------------------------------------------
“I can only spend 5,00 bits for this budget….What? No I can’t raise it by a little bit….look, I’m sorry potato salad, but this is as far as I’m going to bend to this.” Celestia said to the plate of potato salad on the table.
“..Celestia, are you playing diplomat with your food again?” Luna asked.
“Why of course sister, now what is it that you needed me for?”
“I’ve received a letter from that worthless purple pony.”
“Hand it over.” As Celestia opened the letter, her grin slowly turned into an obvious frown.
“What is it sister?”
“They’ve finally done it, they legalized gay marriage.”
“Oh my.”
“How many nukes do we have left Luna?”
“Well, after bombing those spear chucking zebras and those goat fucking camels...we have only one left.”
“You know what to do.”
As all the gay ponies stopped their sexcapade to the sound of a loud whirring. They all looked up in unison to see what they thought was the worlds largest dildo heading straight towards them, but oh no. It was something better. Something filled with something better than love, something filled with hydrogen.
