"Princess Celestia, how nice it is to see you again!" I said gleefully, welcoming Celestia into my hotel room, "Care for a biscuit?"
"Oh, yes, thank you." Celestia replied, sitting at the table in the center of the room. "In Equestria we calls these cookies." She said, picking a biscuit, and popping it in to her mouth.
"Cup of tea?" I asked, grabbing the tea kettle that sat on the table, "Chamomile?"
"Oh, please!"
"One lump or two?"
"Just one, thanks." I handed Celestia the cup of tea, and she gladly took it, taking it by the handle.
"Oh, um, you're holding it wrong." I said.
"I'm sorry?" Celestia asked, her wings flexing.
"You need to hold it like you would hold a regular cup." I replied, taking my cup in the proper way.
"Why?" Celestia asked, a look of confusion on her face.
"It's proper etiquette." I replied, sitting down.
"Oh." Celestia replied, shifting her hand to hold the cup properly.
Though I had always had a good withstanding friendship with Celestia, I did always have to remind her of proper Broncain etiquette.
"So, why did you want to see me?" Celestia asked, taking a sip of her tea.
"I wanted a chat with you, before the conference tomorrow," I explained, "about the Arstrotzkans."
"Oh." Celestia said flatly, setting down her cup.
"Well, it's just..." I stuttered, "I'm worried about Lev, and his...relationship, with your niece."
Celestia cocked her head to the side. "What about them?"
"Well, I'm trying to understand your decision to place Lev and Cadance in the same hotel room." I said.
"I did it at Cadance's request." Celestia said.
I coughed a bit at that. "Cadance wanted to share a room with him?"
"Yes." Celestia acknowledged.
"Why?" I asked.
"She just said they might as well share a room with him last our countries had a conference." Celestia explained.
"Last time?" I asked.
"Yes, at the last diplomatic conference between Arstrotzka and Equestria, those two shared a room."
"And nothing happened?"
"Not that I'm aware of."
I sighed. "Not that you're aware of..."
"What is it?" Celestia asked.
"You put the Political Officer from the Arstrotzkan Republic, people known not for being sociable in any way, in the same room with the bloody Alicorn Princess of Love, and you don't think anything will happen?"
"I don't know what you mean by that." Celestia said.
"My Lord, you're naïve." I mumbled under my breath.
"What was that?" Celestia asked.
"Nothing." I said, rising from the table. "Thank you for your time, Celestia, I'm glad to have chatted with you." I outstretched a hand.
"That's it?" Celestia asked, rising from the table as well. "No conversation about how I've been for the past few years?"
"Oh, they'll be plenty of time for that this next week." I said, shaking Celestia's hand. I walked over to the door, and opened it. "See you tomorrow!"
Celestia excited the room with a look of suspicion shrouding any other emotion.
I closed the door, and said, "Blimey. Celestia, no matter how wise you are, you're dumb as a post when it comes to romance. No wonder you never got any. The Virgin Princess, just like Queen Efillybeth the First."
I walked over the telly, and flipped on a repeat of Doctor Whooves. Despite it being a Broncain show, they producers sure liked to key on Equestria a lot. The episode on was The Temporal Schism.
Suddenly, I heard a high pitched scream. I paused the show, went over to the wall, trying to listen to the sound. It wasn't a scream exactly, but rather a moan. A woman's moan.
I walked over to the door, and peeked out, seeing the security guards standing there. "Tell me, are these walls soundproof?" I asked one.
"No, sir." The guard replied.
I nodded. "Thank you." I said, then reentered my room, placing my head against the wall. Listening carefully, I heard a man's moan as well.
I nodded, and climbed into bed, covering myself with the blankets. I turned out the lamp, and said to myself. "Celestia, I told you so."
My alarm went off around six-thirty in the morning. I reached over and shut it off, before sitting up. Groggily, I sat up, and snatched my dressing gown from the opposite bed, and pulled it on over my pajamas. Tying the knot on the front, I opened the primary door, and greeted the guards. "Good morning, gentlemen."
"Good morning, sir." The guard to the left of the door replied.
"Times come yet?" I asked, rubbing my hand through my hair, realizing just how messed up it was.
"No sir, but, there's probably a stack of them downstairs."
"Thank you." I shut the door behind me, and proceeded down the hallway, yawning and stretching.
"Sir?" I turned back around, "Don't you think you'd better get a shower, sir?"
"Now, Anderson," I began, "It's seven o' clock in the morning. Who will be awake?"
"Princess Cadance and Mister Lev Vis...Vissa..."
"Just say Lev." I said.
"Well, sir, they'll already awake, and having breakfast."
"Already? After the night they had?" I asked.
The guard cocked his head to the side. "Sir?"
"Never mind, Anderson." I said, shaking my head, "It's fine."
I walked down the hallway, and went into the lift, and headed for the lobby.
I excited the lift, and walked over to the breakfast area, and poured a cup of tea. I glanced over my shoulder, and noticed Cadance and Lev, sitting at a table next to each other. They were deep in conversation, about something I couldn't make out. Cadance had clearly showered, and was wearing her usual pink dress, which fit snugly against her hourglass figure. Lev, however, had not showered, and his greasy black hair was sticking up in places.
I noticed that only one of their arms were visible, for each of them. I leaned over to the side, and looked under their table. They were holding hands. I rolled my eyes, and grabbed a paper from the stack at the receptionist's desk, and walked over towards them.
I sat down across from them, cutting off whatever conversation they were talking about, then opened the Times, and took a sip of tea.
Cadance and Lev pulled their arms out from under the table, and set them in front of them. They sat there in silence for a moment, before Cadance spoke up. "Prime Minister?"
I smiled, and closed the paper, setting it on the table. "Why, hello Princess. Lovely to see you. And Lev, a pleasure to see you too."
The two glanced at each other. "Prime Minister, have you looked in a mirror lately?" Cadance asked.
"No, why?"
Cadance's horn shone, and then a mirror appeared in front of me. My usually neatly styled hair was entangled, knotted, and standing up. "Oh, I do need to get a shower, don't I?"
Cadance and Lev nodded, and stared at me, as if waiting for me to stand up and leave. "I'm not getting a shower now."
The two sank down, and sighed. "So," I began, "How did you sleep?"
They gulped, and exchanged a nervous glance at each other. "Why do you ask?"
"You had a room together." I explained. "So, did you stay up all night, or did you go to bed right away?"
"We went to bed right away." Lev said flatly.
"I see." I said, glancing at the Times headline. "I didn't. I stayed up for a bit. You know, the walls in this hotel really need insulating. You can here everything in other rooms." The two exchanged a nervous glance. "Honestly, there has to be a way to soundproof these walls."
The two exchanged a glance. "What exactly did you hear?" Cadance asked.
"Not much." I said, "Some talking, a movie playing," I narrowed my eyes at them, "Screaming."
Cadance and Lev exchanged a nervous look, as if they were sharing the same exact brain wave. He knows.
"Anyway," I said, standing up, "I'm going to get a shower. You two can continue with the conversation you were having before I barged in, or you can always start a new one, about me, probably, judging by the looks on your faces. Good bye." I walked away, leaving the two lovers in silence, pondering my words.
