Princess Diamond Tiara

by ABagOVicodin

Rating: everyone
Tags: Twilight Sparkle, Diamond Tiara, Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy
Length: 8127

Diamond Tiara becomes Princess Twilight's assistant for the Grand Equestria Pony Summit. Everyone listens to Diamond Tiara as a result. She soon finds out that speaking on Twilight's behalf is more fun than she thought.

It is Diamond Tiara's 14th birthday and as a gift, she is going to be Princess Twilight's assistant for the Grand Equestria Pony Summit. While Diamond considers it to be lame at first, she soon finds that speaking on Twilight's behalf is more fun than she thought.

(Written for Skeeter The Lurker's Switcharoo Contest. This fic is essentially "Princess Spike", but with Diamond Tiara instead.)

Published 2015-07-18 16:00:02 UTC
Last updated 2015-07-18 16:00:02 UTC

Prologue

“Diamond Tiara, it is time to wake up.”

Diamond Tiara shuffled in bed, eyes fluttering open, but not remembering who addressed her. The voice was a blur, just like all the other servants in her house. She growled and sat up, facing the wall away from the pony behind her. “That better be the shadow of a tray with over easy eggs, or I’m going to freak out,” Diamond muttered, just loud enough for her visitor to hear.

Unfortunately for her, the one voice that would melt her facade happened to speak, his shadow still in the doorway. “Excuse me, young lady?”

Diamond Tiara’s eyes widened and she dashed out of bed, landing on all fours as she smiled sheepishly. “Um, don’t worry about it, Daddy. I was just dreaming out loud!” Diamond smiled, showing off her pearly whites while her father stared down at him, one eyebrow raised as a hoof shifted around something in his pocket.

“Uh huh,” Filthy Rich replied as his hoof moved back to the floor. “Is that what I get for deciding to wake you up myself?”

Diamond quickly walked over to Filthy Rich’s side and hugged him, still smiling as she stared into his eyes. “Good morning, Daddy!” Diamond pulled back and tried to pass a glance behind Filthy Rich, but only saw the wall.

“I guess I fell asleep in the thirty seventh bedroom this time,” Diamond thought. She noticed that Filthy Rich still seemed annoyed at her audacity, so she tried to come up with an excuse. “Um… I just thought that since it was my birthday, that I was going to be woken up with my favorite breakfast.”

Filthy Rich gasped, his eyes widening as he passed a glance around the room. While this bedroom was decorated just as lavishly as Diamond Tiara’s other bedrooms, there was a destructive lack of a breakfast tray, either on an end table or nearby Diamond’s bed. Filthy Rich had dropped the ball, and Diamond Tiara smirked.

“Daddy, how are you supposed to say that you loved me if I starve?” Diamond Tiara asked as she pouted. She walked over to her end table and picked up her tiara, placing it on her head while Filthy Rich grabbed for answers.

“I’m… I’m sorry, my Princess. But I spent all of yesterday preparing my surprise for you,” Filthy Rich said, ending his sentence with a singsong tone.

Now it was Diamond’s turn to gasp, as she turned back around to face her father. “You got a surprise for me?!” Diamond asked.

“He better have a surprise for me.”

“Yep! It’s all down in the foyer, but you have to put on this blindf—WOAH!”

Diamond couldn’t have ran faster out of the room. She nearly toppled over her father as she darted down a spiral staircase, keeping her eyes where the staircase would open up to once she was at the bottom. She caught a glimpse of a purple pony, but it didn’t make sense to her until she stopped in the middle of the foyer. Princess Twilight was sitting upon one of the fine mahogany chairs, looking relaxed and laughing as she reached for a platter of caramel apples. The butler holding the platter was smiling, and he even laughed.

“That little…”

The butler met eyes with Diamond Tiara and he immediately stopped laughing. He stood still like a board, leaving the platter within reach for Twilight as he smiled sheepishly, knowing that Diamond’s eyes were boring into his like a blowtorch. Twilight spared a glance over to Diamond Tiara, and she smiled.

“Oh, Diamond Tiara, I have been waiting for you!” Princess Twilight said as she stood up and walked over to Diamond, giving her a small bow. Diamond Tiara raised an eyebrow in response.

“What are you doing here?” Diamond asked, not meaning to sound as harsh as she did.

“Diamond!” Filthy Rich panted as he ran over to Diamond’s side, raising a hoof to pat his heart. “That’s not the way to speak to a Princess.” He glared down at Diamond Tiara, who recoiled before Twilight waved off Diamond’s brashness.

“It is no problem at all, Filthy Rich,” Twilight said as she popped the rest of the caramel apple within her magic into her mouth. She continued once she was done chewing.

“After all, somepony who is going to help a Princess can act however she wants, within reason,” Twilight said as she emitted a loud burp, her entire face contorting from the power. Everypony in the room stared at her as Twilight giggled and covered her mouth.

“Excuse me,” Twilight said as she adjusted the crown on her head.

“Wait a minute, what do you mean by, ‘someone who is going to help a princess soon?’” Diamond asked. She noticed her father grinning from ear to ear beside her, and he stepped next to Twilight.

“Well, my darling. Since I have been so proud of your growth and you are becoming a responsible young lady, I have worked together with Princess Twilight, and your present is that you are going to be her assistant for a day!”

“Oh,” Diamond replied as she looked to Princess Twilight, who was wiping off some caramel on an apple and spending a little too much time trying to reach some caramel on her cheek with her tongue. “I’m going to be her… assistant?”

“Yep! I know you’ve been telling me that you want to help me at my work, and this would be a good place to start to teach you some leadership and communication skills!” Filthy Rich replied. “We all have to start somewhere, and this would be perfect for you!”

“Great present, Dad.”

Diamond smiled and hugged her dad. “Thank you, Daddy. This present is the best!” she lied as she squeezed him and turned to Twilight. “So, what will I be helping you with?”

Twilight stopped trying to lick her cheek and she smiled. “Well, you have an important job, since Filthy Rich told me that you can handle almost anything that I were to throw at you. Is that right?”

“Yep! I’m one of the best leaders!” Diamond Tiara replied as she stuck out her chest in confidence.

“I like hearing that,” Twilight replied. “Well, you are going to help me with the Grand Equestria Pony Summit.” Twilight’s horn glowed and an image of a gigantic room filled with decorations and cheering ponies played before Diamond’s eyes, on the floor as if played by a projector. “It’s one of the most important gatherings in recent memory. Diplomatic relations and Equestria’s appearance relies on this meeting.”

“Sounds like a lot of important ponies are going to be there. My type of crowd,” Diamond replied as she brushed her hoof against her shoulder. “Am I going to be telling all of the ponies how important and profitable the Rich family is when it comes to business?”

“Nope!” Twilight replied as she pulled out a scroll. “We are going to prepare the Summit for everypony else and make sure that everything runs smoothly!”

If Diamond was a balloon, or a company’s profit margin around the time of tax season, she would have deflated. “That’s it?” she asked.

“Yes!” Twilight said, excited enough for the both of them as she unraveled the scroll and showed Diamond the laundry list of things that needed to be done. A numerous amount of things on the list were already checked off, but there were still a few that caught her interest. “We are going to help with the food and decorations of the summit. And since it is your birthday, I’ll be taking you to the spa and somewhere to get a new outfit, just for this occasion!”

Diamond smiled, Twilight’s gift finally sounding like a present. “That’s more like it!” Diamond replied as she looked to Filthy Rich. “Should I start packing my bags?” she asked. She passed a glance towards Filthy Rich’s saddlebag, which she seemed to miss until now. “Daddy, are you leaving again?”

Filthy Rich nodded, frowning slightly. “Unfortunately I have to, Pumpkin. I’m going to meet with a business partner and we are going to talk numbers, but I want to hear all about it when you come home!”

Diamond Tiara looked down. “Oh,” she muttered, feeling as if an icepick stabbed into her heart at the idea of spending another birthday without her father.

Filthy Rich walked over to her and tilted her chin up as Twilight got ready to leave. “Hey, it will only be a little bit, my Princess. I have the rest of the day off. How about we go out to lunch and dinner when I come back? Wherever you want.”

Diamond Tiara smiled and hugged Filthy Rich, burying her head into his chest. “Deal!”

“Deal.”

“Well, I still have to prepare my suitcase for Canterlot,” Twilight said to Diamond Tiara. “Meet me outside my castle and we can go to Canterlot. We’ll start with a massage when we get there, and we can get all settled in for the Grand Equestria Pony Summit, alright?”

“Alright,” Diamond replied as Twilight said her goodbyes. Filthy Rich did as well while Diamond walked him to the gate of their house.

“Make sure that you treat everypony with respect and kindness, as if they were one of you, Diamond. I don’t want to have another Cutie Mark Crusaders debacle. I trust you,” Filthy Rich said.

Diamond Tiara nodded. “You’re the best daddy in the whole entire world for giving me this gift! I’ll see you soon for lunch!” she said as she opened the gate and pushed him out of it. “Thank you for making me Twilight’s assistant. I have to go get ready so we can go to Canterlot together. Bye!”

Diamond slammed the gate in Filthy Rich’s face and ran back to the foyer, smirking as she adjusted her tiara and walked up behind the butler who seemed to vanish while she was distracted with Twilight and her father. Diamond tapped her forehoof as the butler turned around to face her. She saw him cowering at her expression of pure rage.

“MAKE… ME… BREAKFAST!”

Act 1

Diamond Tiara wasn’t sure if she was in heaven, but this definitely felt close. She outstretched a hoof and it was softly taken within another pair of hooves. She felt the pair of hooves slowly circle around her own, kneading the flesh and massaging away Diamond’s stress. She had needed a massage for a while now, considering she had gotten 36 presents for today instead of last year’s 37. The tantrum that ensued had worn her out, so now it was nice to relax. Diamond opened an eye to see Twilight sitting up while her masseuse worked on her legs, writing upon a scroll. Diamond’s eye twitched. Twilight would dare waste part of a massage instead of enjoying it like a normal pony?

“And she calls herself a princess.”

Diamond sighed in relaxation, a little louder than was needed to get Twilight’s attention.

“Something the matter, Diamond Tiara?” Twilight asked as she smiled lightly, looking over at her.

“Do you not like massages?” Diamond asked as she rolled onto her side and pointed her other hoof out, which her masseuse began to work.

Twilight blinked, before she giggled and shook her head. Diamond noticed that Twilight enjoyed laying down a little more than usual. Along with that, there were large bags underneath her eyes. Perhaps it was good that Twilight was getting a makeover. Going to an announcement looking like she currently did? Talk about a faux paus.

“No, I just have a lot that I need to write down. I kind of saved all the planning for the Grand Equestria Pony Summit for now. I have all the guests coming, I just have to prepare the room.” Twilight blushed a little bit in embarrassment. “Not exactly the way a Princess acts, huh?”

Diamond Tiara scoffed. “As if! You could probably show the workers a scribble on a piece of paper and they would listen to you. That’s one of the great things about being a Princess.”

Diamond closed her eyes and laid her head down, letting the masseuse continue her job while Twilight replied, seeming perturbed. “Um… not exactly.” Twilight continued to write in her scroll as she spoke. “Princess Celestia gave me the honor of helping prepare this Summit, and I want to make sure that I get it right the first time.”

Diamond opened one eye as Twilight yawned and messed up one of the words that she wrote. She scribbled over the word and continued. “Are you tired, Twilight?” Diamond asked as she closed the eye.

Twilight paused, before she sighed and nodded. “Yes, a little bit. Some of the guests wanted to meet with me early in the morning so that they could prepare for the Summit, so I had to get up early to come to Canterlot.” Twilight yawned again. “But it’s fine. All we have to do is get our makeovers and outfits and I can take a small nap before the Summit starts.”

Diamond Tiara sat up, interrupting the masseuse as she gasped. “Are we going to get new outfits in Canterlot!” she asked.

Twilight blinked. “Um… yes?”

Diamond grinned from ear to ear as she stood up on the massage table, but upon realizing that she was with a Princess, she coughed on her hoof and stuck it out for the masseuse to massage again. “Of course we are. What doesn’t say ‘Canterlot’ more than a new outfit for this Summit?”

“Actually, I was just planning on making some alterations to my Gala dress and wearing that to the Summit. I don’t want to get a whole new outfit just for one event.”

Once again, Diamond gasped. “Are you kidding? That’s the entire purpose of an outfit!” Diamond said as she jumped back up, scaring the masseuse as they pulled back. She stood on the bed and pointed at Twilight. “We don’t even wear clothes outside of parties and events and you want to reuse a dress? Not while I’m your assistant!” Diamond hopped off of the bed and pulled Twilight off of hers, leading the both of them to the exit. “Come on, we are going to need some extra time if we want to rock that Summit! This is our time to shine just as much as theirs!”

Twilight levitated her things along with her as the two ponies headed towards the Canterlot Salon. “But, this isn’t about us,” Twilight mumbled.

~~~

“I don’t know, doesn’t this feel a little too… shiny?”

Twilight turned to face Diamond, dressed from head to toe in a dress that seemed to have more gems than actual fabric. She looked like a geode that had been cracked open, and Diamond Tiara held a hoof over her eyes, blocking out the shining rays of purple light.

“It’s… perfect!” she said.

“Are you sure? Twilight asked as she turned to the salespony, who straightened his tie and cleared his throat. “How much for this dress?”

“1,200 bits, Princess,” the pony replied, in a stereotypical Prench accent. “But now that I think about it, if the Princess is wearing it, then perhaps I can foot the bill just this once.”

Twilight’s eyes widened, and she immediately started to undress. “Absolutely not,” Twilight replied as she levitated the dress over to one of the racks.

“Aww, why not?” Diamond asked as she posed in front of a mirror, clad in a white and light purple dress that matched her tail. Diamonds and amethysts accentuated her collar, and she leaned her head back to let the gems reflect light right into the salespony’s eyes. He shielded his eyes and walked backwards, only to trip over a coat rack and fall within the confines of one of the clearance racks. “The best outfits are always the ones that cause harm. Emotional or otherwise,” Diamond added with a smirk as she straightened her head.

“I am not going to take a 1,200 bit dress for free,” Twilight replied simply as she levitated her saddlebag onto her back. “Do you have anything a little more… subtle?”

Diamond Tiara rolled her eyes as the salespony came out of the clearance rack. “Of course, Princess,” he replied as he directed Twilight to the clearance rack behind her.

“What a waste,” Diamond Tiara said as she grabbed a nearby brush and brushed her mane back, looking like the royalty that Twilight was clearly lacking. “It’s not an outfit if everypony doesn’t wish they were you.”

After a few minutes of admiring herself in the mirror, Diamond turned around to see Twilight staring down at her, wearing absolutely nothing. “Diamond, let’s go. I don’t think I need a new outfit for this Summit.”

“Suit yourself. How much for this outfit?” Diamond asked the salespony. She flashed the brightest smile that she could, almost giving the amethyst dress a run for its money.

“600 bits,” the salespony asked with a straight face, not missing a beat.

Diamond Tiara giggled before she jerked her head in Twilight’s direction. “No seriously, how much?”

The salespony looked to Twilight, then back to Diamond. “599 bits.”

Diamond gasped. “But, you were going to give her a 1,200 bit dress! I’m with her!”

Twilight bit her lip and looked away, avoiding Diamond’s stare for help as the salespony shrugged. “You’re not a princess. She is.”

Diamond’s blood boiled as she opened her mouth to say something, but Twilight looked back to her with a stern gaze, and she laughed nervously. “Fine. I didn’t want your dress anyway.” Diamond peeled off the dress, throwing it in the salespony’s face as she walked outside.

“Thank you, come again,” Diamond heard the salespony say as she slammed the door behind her. Twilight teleported in front of her and began to walk with Diamond, adopting a stern voice.

“Diamond, you are not acting on your best behavior, and you promised your father that you would,” Twilight said as she stumbled a bit, still trying to stay awake.

Diamond sighed, thinking of her father and her promise. “You’re right. I just can’t believe that you get all these favors just because you are a princess, and you don’t take any of them. That’s like leaving free money on the table!” Diamond thought of the dress she left behind, and ran a hoof through her hair in frustration. “What kind of pony does that!”

“Me, I guess?” Twilight walked ahead of Diamond as the two ponies started up a spiral staircase, leading to the room that Twilight was renting for the day. “Diamond, I have to admit, I’m not appreciating your behavior today. I thought that you would be excited about taking me to find a new outfit, but it seems like you just wanted to get one for yourself.”

“Nuh uh!” Diamond shook her head and looked side to side as she tried to think of an answer. “I just… thought that you looked so… nice in that dress that you didn’t need my help.”

Twilight smiled. “Really?”

Diamond smiled as well, her cheeks hurting from how much she was faking it. “Yeaaaah,” she said. “You looked like… the shiniest diamond in the mine! I’d love to have you in my tiara.”

Twilight’s face turned red and she continued on. “Thank you, Diamond Tiara. That was really nice of you.”

Diamond Tiara pretended to gag as Twilight reached the top of the staircase and unlocked the door to her room, letting the door open. Diamond walked inside with Twilight, ignoring the boring egghead decorations as she sat down on a small cot near her bed, one that was probably put together at the last minute. Twilight laid down on her bed, face down as she sighed.

“Diamond Tiara, I’m going to try and take a small nap before I help prepare for the Summit.” Twilight sat up, staring at Diamond with a serious expression. “Since we skipped the makeovers and half of the massage, I have some extra time. Can I trust you to behave while I sleep?”

Diamond sighed. “Yes, Princess Twilight,” she said as she laid back against her pillow. “I’m not a filly anymore, Twilight. I’m a young mare, and I’d like to be treated as such.”

Diamond heard Twilight murmur something, and Diamond had a feeling she knew what it was, but she didn’t say anything else about it. Twilight laid her head back down. “I’ll just nap for a little—”

Twilight was out like a light. Diamond Tiara smirked as she slowly snuck out of her cot and walked over to the door. She opened it slowly and snuck out, closing it behind her. She snickered evilly, but a pony behind her spoke. “Excuse me, can I speak with Princess Twilight?”

Diamond Tiara turned around. The griffin in front of her was wearing what looked to be a chef’s outfit, complete with the gigantic mushroom shaped hat and apron. His fur was a dark and light gray, accentuated with a red bandana and yellow talons. Diamond immediately knew who he was. “Gustave le Grand, it’s been a while,” Diamond said as she crossed her forelegs, leaning against the door.

Gustave met Diamond’s eyes and he flinched. “Oh, it’s you. What are you doing here?” Gustave asked with mild annoyance.

“Now, is that any way to talk to Princess Twilight’s assistant?” Diamond asked, feigning surprise. “Don’t tell me you’re still mad about last time?”

Gustave’s eyes widened and he laughed nervously. “Princess Twilight’s assistant, eh?” he asked as he pulled at his bandana, a nervous habit. “My apologies, Miss Tiara, but can I please speak with Princess Twilight? It’s urgent.”

“I didn’t think that would work. Perhaps I should milk it a little more?”

“If it’s regarding the Summit, then I can help you.” Diamond looked at her hoof. “Since I’m Twilight’s assistant, I know practically everything there is to know about it. You wouldn’t want to wake up Princess Twilight for something as simple as this, would you?”

“I wouldn’t call this simple,” Gustave replied as he stepped towards the door. “I need to know which food would be best served for the Summit. I’ve had all sorts of hays fermenting and waiting to be made into hors d'oeuvres, but I don’t know what would be best!”

“Oh for the love of,” Diamond Tiara rolled her eyes. “And you call yourself a chef?” She leaned off of the door and pointed in the direction of the Summit. “You want to bother Princess Twilight with your inability to make simple decisions? Why did she even hire you if you can’t figure that out?” Diamond asked.

Gustave looked away. “Well… a chef usually makes what he is told to make,” he replied.

“Well fine, then make a cracker platter, some crostini, and small sandwiches.” Diamond’s mouth watered at the idea of shoving all those high quality snacks into her mouth. She gulped and cleared her throat. “Princess Twilight deems it so.”

Gustave raised an eyebrow. “Are you sure that’s what she wanted?”

Diamond Tiara frowned. “Are you sure that you should be asking any more questions? You got your order, step on it!” Diamond yelled. “Or I’ll tell Princess Twilight that you’re wasting time! Good luck trying to get work from the Princesses again if you think I’m joking!”

Gustave whimpered and spread his wings. “Y… yes Diamond Tiara! I’ll get the hors d'oeuvres ready right now!”

Gustave flew off of the staircase and back towards the Summit, flapping like a chicken with its head cut off. Diamond Tiara snickered as she looked back towards the door, and then began to descend the staircase back towards Canterlot. “That felt good. Just like back at home, everyone listens to you if you are the Princess.”

Diamond clicked her forehooves together as she smiled innocently.

“Hmm, I wonder who else needs my help?”

Act 2

Diamond Tiara stepped past the gate onto the Summit grounds, seeing the massive building that held the soon to be coming celebration. She walked over to the double doors and opened them wide, smirking as she walked inside the room. Dozens of ponies didn't even notice her as she continued to a giant radiating crystal, one that would no doubt make enough dresses to last her a month. One of the ponies climbed up a ladder, chisel in hoof as he prepared to cut.

“Um, what are you doing?” Diamond asked as she pointed at the crystal. You better be prepared to chisel that into Princess Twilight if you want to do this again!"

The sculptor raised an eyebrow and slid down the ladder, facing Diamond Tiara. "What are you talking about, kid?"

Diamond's face contorted in rage until she erased her expression, deciding to smirk instead. "I am not a kid. I am Princess Twilight's assistant, and you will not talk to me like that!"

Diamond remembered her favorite phrase to say, and she decided to overblow her anger. "Do you know who I am?"

The sculptor shifted the chisel in his hoof in annoyance. "You just told me."

"I am Diamond Tiara, Princess Twilight's assistant! I came down here after I had to tell that griffin what to make. And all this!" Diamond pointed around the room at the beautiful chandeliers, made from magical glass that radiated light throughout the room like a disco ball.

Her hoof darted to the wooden tables that planned to hold the hors d'oeuvres. The workers tried to hide how boring the tables were by covering them with a sheet, but Diamond saw through their shenanigans. She walked over to one of the tables and lifted the sheet, throwing it over the table and onto the floor. "Regular oak wood? Do we live in a barn?"

"Hey! Where do you get off!" One of the workers said as he stepped forward, obviously annoyed. "No one has had problems with these tables before."

"Well excuse me, Princess!" Diamond replied as she walked back into the center of the room, with all the worker's attention. "Excuse me for having standards? No crystal tables that are magically enchanted to keep the food fresh? Nothing?" Diamond Tiara scanned the room again. "I don't see any marble in here either."

"Princess Twilight didn't want any of that," a worker replied. "And that's odd of her to suddenly change her mind. Can you prove that you are her assistant?"

Diamond scoffed and pulled a scroll out of her saddlebag, the list of things that Twilight had near her bedside table. Diamond filched it just in case she needed the evidence. The scroll bore Twilight's royal seal as she unraveled it. The workers all saw the seal, and the environment in the room changed almost instantly.

"Oh now you all want to listen to me?" Diamond asked. "How about we spend less time questioning me— I mean Princess Twilight and more time making this room right!?"

The workers all began to shuffle back to their projects. Nearly all the decorations were being pulled down or replaced, while the sculptor began work on a Princess Twilight statue.

"That's more like it," Diamond said right as Gustave Le Grand burst out of the kitchen, wielding a tray of hors d'oeuvres. Diamond pointed over to her and Gustave whimpered as he dashed over to her, holding out the tray.

Diamond grabbed one of the crackers and popped it in her mouth. After a few seconds of chewing, she spit the cracker out at Gustave’s talons. “Yuck! Why isn't the hay free range?" Diamond Tiara said as she knocked the tray out of Gustave's talons.

The hors d'oeuvres soared through the air and onto the floor as Diamond stepped on one, continuing towards the door. "Make them again, Gustave. I'll see you all in a little bit to make sure that you all aren't messing up again! I don't want to have to come back with Princess Twilight and replace all of you!"

Diamond heard mumbling and even the pathetic whimpers of Gustave as he tried to pick up the mess that she created. She smiled as she slammed the doors behind her. "Princess Diamond does it again," she says as she started down the road. "I think it's time to treat myself."

~~~

"Are you sure you can afford this, Miss..."

"Tiara. Diamond Tiara," she said as she twirled with her new accessory on her head. Her old tiara lay on an end table in the corner of her jewelry store, abandoned by the new and more expensive trinket she just found.

Diamond turned to see the shopkeeper looking at her with a raised eyebrow, and she pulled Princess Twilight's scroll out to show that she was legit. "I am Princess Twilight's assistant, so you know that I am good for it," Diamond said. She looked imploringly towards the shopkeeper, smiling as bright as she could. "How much is the Princess tab?"

The shopkeeper blinked. "The what?"

Diamond still smiled, but her disappointment showed in her lack of pearly whites. "The tab that you have for royalty? So that we can pay for this tiara later?"

"I don't have a tab for royalty. Usually the princesses pay me up front." The shop keeper looked at the scroll, Twilight's sigil upon it.

"Never too late to start?" Diamond asked as she showed her teeth again. Since the salespony was still hesitant, Diamond Tiara decided to bring out the big guns. “So what you’re saying is that you don’t trust the Princesses?”

The shopkeeper gasped and looked away. “That’s… not what I said,” he replied. He fidgeted with his hooves while Diamond went on the attack. She looked at one of her hooves, no longer needing to talk to him since he was below her. She already won.

“Well if you don’t trust me, and I am an assistant of Princess Twilight’s, then I guess you don’t trust the Princesses. It only makes sense.” Diamond sighed as she put the tiara back down on one of the chairs. “Fine, I don’t have any problem with letting Princess Twilight know that you don’t trust—”

“Wait, stop.” The shopkeeper walked over to Diamond and placed the tiara on her head. The filly smirked in response. “You can have it. I don’t want to have any problems with the Princesses. They already gave me a nice location for my shop. I don’t want to get on their bad side.”

“Good choice,” Diamond said as she patted the shopkeeper’s flank and headed for the door. The shopkeeper dashed in front of Diamond as she moved to leave and laughed nervously.

“So um… heh. You aren’t going to tell Princess Twilight about the problems we had, right?” He shivered. “I’d rather not join Tirek in Tartarus.”

“I’ll think about it,” Diamond replied as she opened the door and walked outside. She looked up at the sky, noticing that the sun was dipping lower than when she left the Summit.

“They better have done everything except spit shine that room by the time I’m there,” Diamond Tiara growled as she set off towards the Summit.

~~~

“Twilight’s a jerk, ain’t going to work! Twilight’s a jerk, ain’t going to work!”

Diamond’s jaw hung agape as she watched the workers circling around the gate to the Summit, holding signs with slanderous quips such as, “Threatened to fire me”, “Sent a kid to bully us”, and “Never working for them again!”

“What is all this!?” Diamond yelled as she walked in front of the picket line, pointing at the Summit building. “Why aren’t you all working!?”

“Why do you think?” one of the ponies replied as he set his sign down on the ground. “The Princesses obviously don’t respect us enough to appreciate our work, so we aren’t going to work.”

“Instead of helping us or telling us how to decorate for the Summit, Princess Twilight sends a bullying filly to make fun of us and embarrass us in front of each other. That’s not going to fly,” the sculptor replied as he crossed his forelegs. “You tell Princess Twilight to come down here and tell us what the big idea is, and if she doesn’t apologize, we’re never working for her again. Your Summit can be in an empty room for all we care.”

Diamond’s face boiled red with rage as she glared at the sculptor, the stallion who was most likely the leader behind this operation. “You know what? Fine! I don’t need you! I don’t need any of you! My daddy knows nearly everyone in Equestria! I can replace all of you with the wave of my hoof!”

“Then do it,” the sculptor replied as he picked up his sign and continued to chant. Ponies passed Diamond Tiara and the picket line, cringing and sighing in disappointment. This only infuriated Diamond more. They were cringing and sighing at her. They were making her look bad.

“Out of my way you unpaid interns!” Diamond yelled as she pushed past the picket line and into the Summit room. The room was completely void of class, all the decorations having been replaced with the tools and supplies to make them. The giant glimmering crystal in the back of the room was half done, with a pair of devil ears having been chipped on Twilight’s head. Diamond grunted in frustration as she pushed open the double doors to the kitchen, seeing that Gustave le Grand had left a pot of stew cooking for way too long, and was nowhere to be seen.

“You have to do everything yourself,” Diamond muttered as she walked over to the stove and turned a dial. The flame underneath the pot shot up, covering the pot in a blazing inferno until both the contents and the metal of the pot were singed to ashes. Diamond’s eyes were the size of dinnerplates as her hoof shifted the other way, turning the stove off.

“Um… perhaps I need a little help?”

Act 3

Diamond stood outside a stone gray building, panting as she tried to catch her breath. She had ran across town in order to get to it, and her tiara looked like it had a thin layer of sweat surrounding the parts that touched her mane. She approached the door and opened it, seeing that the interior was very sparse. There was a desk in the center of the room with a stallion looking through some paperwork. He looked up at her and simply said, “Nope.”

Diamond blinked as she stepped inside and closed the door. “What? You didn’t even hear what I wanted you to do!”

“I don’t care,” the stallion said as he walked out from behind the desk and leaned against it. “I know who you are. Your name is all across town, Diamond Tiara, assistant to the bullying Princess Twilight.” He pointed to the door.

“Do you even know who my dad is? He hires you guys all the time!” Diamond Tiara huffed as she stamped her hooves. “Are you going to throw away your relationship with my dad just because of something you heard from another pony?”

“Another town? Yes, I’m willing to take that risk.” The stallion pointed at the door again. “Out.”

Diamond Tiara gritted her teeth and sniffed, tears obscuring her vision as she walked out of the room and back onto the street. Numerous ponies passed her, paying no attention to her since that’s exactly what she wanted. She had no power as Princess Twilight's assistant anymore.

“What do I do?” Diamond Tiara looked down the street, in the direction of the Summit and the picketing workers. “I can’t get help, and I can’t finish the Summit myself.” Diamond sighed as she continued down the street, mind filled with the day’s events.

“Why are these ponies not used to having a boss?” Diamond Tiara asked herself as she stepped out of the way of an oncoming pony, almost tripping over herself as she did so. She adjusted the tiara on her head, deciding on shelving her thoughts on the tiara for a different time. “My butler could do everything these workers were told to do and more, but I don’t have the time to go and get him.” Diamond walked past the picket line and back into the empty Summit room. She kicked a piece of discarded crystal across the room, tears starting to slide down her cheeks. “Why won’t anyone listen to me!” Diamond yelled.

“I think I know why,” an angry voice replied.

Diamond looked towards the entrance, where Princess Twilight and Gustave le Grand were standing. One was still cowering in fear over Diamond Tiara’s ability to destroy his career, while Twilight looked beside herself.

“Princess Twilight!” Diamond said as she ran towards her, stopping as Twilight cut her off.

“What is all this?” she asked, pointing around the room since nothing seemed right. Everything was either destroyed, misplaced, or made incorrectly. Diamond could see that Twilight didn’t think Diamond got anything finished correctly. “I fall asleep for a few hours and this is what I come back to?”

“I can explain!” Diamond replied as she sat on her rump, pointing a forehoof at Gustave. “All the workers are like him! They do everything wrong, and they don’t understand how important this Summit is to you. They wanted to use wooden tables and hay that wasn’t free range!”

“I don’t even know what free range hay is,” Twilight replied as she sighed in frustration. She pointed outside. “They are working together to achieve a common goal, Diamond Tiara. They were working together in order to make this Summit happen, but you were the one that stopped it. Now they are working together to stop the Summit, and it looks like it’s working. That’s all because of you.”

Diamond looked away as she sniffed and wiped a tear. “I just wanted to make sure that everything was right!” she replied as she stamped a hoof. “It’s not my fault that this griffin can’t cook! Or those workers don’t know how to take orders.”

“Don’t lie to me, Diamond Tiara.” Twilight levitated the scroll out of Diamond Tiara’s saddlebag. She tried to reach for it, but Twilight kept it away from her reach. She rolled the scroll back up, considering Diamond haphazardly shoved it in her backpack when she was done threatening the jewelry store owner. “You wanted to boss all the ponies around because you knew I wouldn’t have any of it. You took my scroll and you overblew how much you were my assistant. Is this how you want to remember your birthday? Seeing the other ponies squirm under your ill-gotten power?”

Diamond Tiara cowered as she felt smaller and smaller compared to Princess Twilight, whose voice remained the same. This combination of quiet fury and disappointment stabbed Diamond in the chest as it reminded her of her father. The father that didn’t even have the time to come to her birthday today.

Just like back during her cute-cenera, when her father was not in attendance, and had to come to her in the middle of the night with a present and a hug. Just like now, back then she watched Apple Bloom squirm at her lack of a cutie mark, and the bullying that Diamond threw on her. It was one rogue instance where the cute-cenera didn’t go her way, but this was approaching two. Perhaps bullying wasn’t the best way to enjoy her birthday.

Diamond thought about Silver Spoon, and how much the filly hesitated whenever Diamond urged her to continue with a prank or practical joke. Was Silver Spoon sick of it as well, and was merely waiting to tell Diamond out of the blue much like the workers outside? Would Diamond have Silver Spoon one day, and nothing but her possessions the next? Silver Spoon was already out of town, unable to join her for her birthday, but she promised that the two would hang out once she came back. But what if she didn’t come back?

For once, Diamond didn’t have anything to say. She merely cried and looked down at the floor, sniffing and wiping her muzzle. Now she knew how it felt to squirm.

“I’m sorry,” Diamond mumbled.

“Are you?” Twilight asked. “I don’t believe you. And I’m sure if you told the workers that, they wouldn’t either.”

Diamond took off her new tiara and allowed Princess Twilight to levitate it over to her. She gasped. “Diamond did you—”

“I didn’t steal it. You have a tab over at the Luxury Gold jewelry store. I’ll take it back if you don’t want to.” Diamond wiped the rest of her tears, avoiding Twilight’s gaze.

Twilight smiled. “That’s a start. But perhaps there’s some other ponies that you should apologize to? Not just me?”

The front doors opened to reveal all of the Summit workers, listening in on Diamond and Twilight’s conversation. Diamond looked to the sculptor and stood up, smiling as she walked over to him and held out a hoof. “I’m sorry for the way that I acted. I guess I’m not used to doing things myself… or helping out… or taking no for an answer. I have a lot to work on, okay?” Diamond said, growing slightly more annoyed at all of her flaws.

The sculptor chuckled, but he didn’t grasp her hoof yet. Diamond frowned and shook her hoof up and down. He still didn’t grab it. “What do you want?” Diamond asked.

“I think a good place to start would be for you to help us clean this mess up.” The sculptor held out his hoof. “Once we’re all done, then we’ll forgive you.”

Diamond gulped as she looked towards all the decorations and debris. She was going to have to get her massaged and soft hooves dirty with all of the dirt, dust, and grime? Diamond looked to Twilight, who nodded with a smile. Sighing, Diamond shook the sculptor’s hoof. “Deal.”

~~~

Diamond Tiara burst through the doors to her mansion, nearly collapsing at the doorstep as she crawled inside and laid on top of the marble floor. Her tiara fell off of her head and rested on the ground, while the doors closed behind her.

“Welcome home, Diamond Tiara,” her butler replied as he walked over to her side and grabbed her tiara, putting it upon a crimson pillow. He didn’t dare say a thing about the tiara’s filth dirtying the pillow, and Diamond Tiara was too tired to remember.

“Thank you, Golden Touch,” Diamond said as she turned her head to face him.

The butler gasped at hearing his name for the first time, and he adjusted his bowtie. “Um… are you feeling alright, Miss?” Golden Touch said as he placed her pillow upon an end table. “Can I take your temperature to make sure you aren’t sick?”

“I’m fine, Golden Touch. I would like some help getting to bed, though.”

The butler nodded and picked her up, placing her on his back while he grabbed her tiara and ascended the spiral staircase towards Diamond’s many bedrooms. Diamond opened one eye, looking out the window at the pitch black sky. Diamond had stayed for the Summit and took the first train home with Princess Twilight, but she insisted that she could walk home by herself. Considering she collapsed at her doorstep, she made it. The whole Summit was a blur, nothing that she was interested in. She was more proud about the room and how much more beautiful it looked when she was done cleaning it with the workers.

“Which room would you like to sleep in tonight, Miss?” Golden Touch asked.

“Any of them is fine,” Diamond replied. “Say, Golden Touch. Have you ever slept in one of these bedrooms?”

“I… you banned me from doing that ever since I woke you up a few years ago.” Golden Touch entered one of the bedrooms and placed Diamond Tiara down.

Diamond Tiara smiled and yawned. “I’m going to go take a shower. Can you make me a sandwich? I’m not very hungry. After that, you can take the weekend off. I know how much you want to spend time with your daughter.”

Golden Touch’s eyes filled with tears as he bit his lip, trying to hold back emotions as Diamond pulled off her saddlebag and smiled at the warm feeling that flushed through her stomach. “Th… thank you, Miss.”

“Diamond Tiara is fine, Golden Touch,” Diamond replied as she looked towards the bedroom door, where a bath awaited her. “I’m sorry for everything I put you through, both today and before.” Diamond smirked as she walked out of her bedroom and into the bathroom. Golden Touch followed, but lingered at the bathroom door. “I might be sick, but I feel a little bit better. I have Princess Twilight to thank for that.”

Golden Touch smiled fondly. “I know you hear this enough from your dad, but you sure are growing up. Mom would be proud of you.”

Diamond nodded as she started the bath water. One lingering thought was brought to her lips. “Is Dad home?”

Golden Touch paused and shook his head. “Not yet. He came back while you were gone and told me that he was going to be running a little late. He will kiss you good night when he comes home. He promised that.”

“I trust he will,” Diamond replied as she arranged all the soaps that she planned to use on the edge of the tub. She turned to Golden Touch and smiled. “You can leave the sandwich on a tray outside the door. Then you can go home. Or stay the night in one of the rooms. Whichever works for you.”

“I think I’ll go home. My wife misses me.” Golden Touch moved to leave, but he stopped. “What do you want on your sandwich?”

“Surprise me,” Diamond replied as she sank into the bath water, relaxing and closing her eyes.

“Got it!” Golden Touch replied as he zipped out of the doorway. Diamond noticed a little extra spring in his step as he ran, hoofsteps slowly sinking away.

Diamond Tiara smiled as she relaxed in the tub, thinking about the day’s activities. In one day, she had managed to alienate the entirety of Canterlot and almost put Equestria’s diplomatic relations on the brink of disaster, all because she acted herself at the wrong place. Or perhaps that was the wrong way to look at it. The way she acted was wrong, it wasn’t the place that mattered.

“I’ll have to keep that in mind,” Diamond said as she crossed her hind legs and began to wash the dirt and grime off her mane. “I just have one more thing to do.”

~~~

“Dear Princess Twilight,

I know you wanted me to write to you the moment that I got home with the lessons that I learned today, but I fell asleep and couldn’t finish it until now. I learned a lot from being your assistant yesterday, mostly the fact that I don’t want to get on your bad side, since I felt worse than I’ve ever been. I know you want some actual lessons from me, so I’ll admit that I’ve been in a world where I’ve been given everything I wanted. Now I realize that perhaps there’s some room for others to have more as well. I might not need 40 bedrooms in my mansion, but it is nice. I’ve already begun to rent out one, and it feels good to help another. I know that I shouldn’t make fun of others, and I’ll work on that. One thing at a time.

I don’t really have much else to say. You and I both saw what happened, and I’d rather not bring it up again. I feel that I’ve learned my lesson. I’ll speak to the Cutie Mark Crusaders at school tomorrow, if you insist. I’m not going to be a part of their club, but perhaps I’ve gone a little too far with my bullying, sometimes. If anything happens, I’m blaming you.

Best Regards,
Diamond Dazzle Tiara”

Author's Note

And that makes it done! Let me know what you guys think in the comments below. I wrote this within the span of three days for Skeeter's Switcharoo contest, so my apologies if it seems a little rushed. I had to rewrite 1/3rd of it once I realized that my previous episode moral wasn't working. I'll be doing some editing as I go today, and hopefully I win! I understand if I don't, though. I just finished it today.