Finding a Voice

by 99 Streax

Rating: everyone
Tags: Cheerilee, Slice of Life, Original Character, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Alternate Universe, Other, Fluttershy
Length: 4575

A young pony's autism makes her an outcast, and it doesn't help that she's a blank flank. But with the friends that she slowly makes, and upon joining the school choir, she may be able to get in touch with who she really is and see past her flaws.

I won't deny that many have lives harder than I do, but I still have troubles of my own. For those who don't know, I have a genetic condition that affects someone's motor skills, coordination, speech, and sense of social etiquette. In many cases, I'm an outcast, because I just don't know how to approach someone without feeling dumb.

But that's starting to change. After becoming involved in the school choir, I've realized how much I love music. It opened up a door I never was aware of.

Maybe looking through will help me find my path in life...
........................................

This is dedicated to anyone struggling with autism, aspergers (correct me if I misspelled it), or the like, however minor, whether it's affecting them or someone in their family. I'm there for you.

Published 2015-07-18 00:50:01 UTC
Last updated 2015-10-13 19:50:46 UTC

A New Friend

A New Friend

The day went like a blur. Before Streax knew it, she was getting picked up by her mother, an earth pony with a black coat and a green mane and tail.

But before they left, Cheerilee appeared.

"Excuse me, Plasma Streak, but I would like to speak with you for a bit."

So Streax was at the playground while Cheerilee and Plasma were inside, talking. Streax wasn't on the equipment; she was poking at the dirt. Feeling its grainy texture, examining the individual pebbles, watching a worm as it wiggled by. She was in a state of hyperfocus, blocking out virtually everything and intensely focusing on the task at hoof. She was so busy that she didn't notice the pony walking up to her.

"Hey!" The pony called.

Streax shot her head up and turned to look at the pony. She was a teal earth pony with a long, purple and green mane and tail. Her cutie mark was that of two masks, one happy and the other sad.

"I remember you from school!" She said, "You're Streax, right?"

Streax nodded, unsure of what to say.

"I'm Split Decision!" The pony said, "What are you doing, Streax?"

"Nothing," Streax replied. She honestly didn't feel like talking.

"Come on," Split said, "You have to be doing something."

Streax sighed, but then remembered something her parents told her.

'Act interested. Always act your best for others. You don't want them to think that you're mean.'

"I'm just digging in the dirt," she finally said.

"Hmm," Split said, "Making a dirt castle?"

"Not really," Streax said, "I just like the way dirt feels."

Split looked at Streax weirdly, "Does that have something to do with that 'autism' thing you have?"

"I don't know," Streax said, "I just like the way dirt feels."

"Oh," Split said, before gasping, "Great! My dad wants me home by sundown! I need to go. It was nice meeting you, Streax!" She said before walking off. Streax never replied. She was back to digging in the dirt, and never noticed Split leaving.

Author's Note

Split Decision is actually the OC of a close friend of mine. I can't say how the chapters will unfold, but it's going to progress through a few years and some of it will be based off of actual things in my life.

The Essay

"Okay," Cheerilee said that afternoon, "For your homework, I want you all to write a page-long essay about what you think a friend should be."

As the ponies rushed out of the building for the day, Streax walked with her dad, thinking of what to say.

'Why do I have to be so bad at writing?' She thought.
.................

By the time she got home, she hadn't spoken a word to either of her parents.

"So, Streax," Plasma said, "How was school?"

"There's a new pony named Fluttershy," Streax said.

"Well, she sounds nice," Plasma said.

"She was," Streax said, "Very shy, but very nice."

"Did anything else happen?" Wire said.

"Not really," Streax said, "But I have a bit of homework to do." She then rushed up to her room.

Hours later, she was just staring at a blank piece of paper and a pencil in her hooves.

'I know what I want to say, but how do I say it?' Streax thought. She looked at the clock. 11:30.

'Oh, Celestia help me,' she thought. She began to feel a stinging in her eyes.

'No,' she said to herself, 'You won't get anything done if you cry.' She began to write a few words. Then she hit another block at the end of the paragraph. The cycle continued. A few tears splashed onto the paper. By 1:30, she was only about halfway done.

She began to argue with herself.

'Stop. You're pushing yourself too hard.'

'You have to keep going. You don't want to fail your first English grade.'

'You've lost so much sleep already. Do you want to stay up all night?'

'Do you want to be the only pony with an incomplete essay?'

These thoughts cycled through her mind over and over, as the clock ticked, and she shed tears.
...................

That morning, the essay was still unfinished, but Streax just stuffed it into her saddlebags and rushed out the door, with Plasma trailing behind.

Streax was fighting back tears as she approached the school.

"Is something wrong, Streax?" Plasma asked.

"No," Streax said. She was not going to cry in public.

"All right," Plasma said, dropping Streax off at school.

Immediately, Streax saw Split trying to encourage Fluttershy to talk to her.

"Hey, Streax!" Split said, "How are you doing?"

"I've seen better days," Streax said.

Fluttershy, noticing something wrong, cautiously approached Streax.

"Are you okay?" She asked.

"Not really," Streax sighed, "I think that I'm going to fail my essay. I was up until past 2am and I never finished it." A tear began to run down her face. Fluttershy wiped it off.

"It'll be okay," she said, "I may have not been around Ponyville for very long, but I think that Cheerilee will do something about it if you tell her. Believe me. In Cloudsdale, we had to take flight school. I'm not a very strong flyer. I ended up dropping out, and after being repeatedly bullied, my mom decided that it would be best if we moved here."

Then, the bell rang, meaning that class was starting.

As Cheerilee walked around the room, collecting the papers, Streax trembled. She kept trying to calm herself, but it wasn't working. When Cheerilee finally reached her, she felt ready to cry again.

"Streax, is something wrong?" Cheerilee asked.

Streax just nodded, handing her paper over to her teacher. Cheerilee immediately noticed water marks on the page, and immediately had an idea of what happened. This wasn't the first assignment she'd gotten like this.

"I couldn't think of anything else to write," Streax whispered, "I knew what I wanted to say, but I didn't have the words to say it. I was up very late, so I couldn't finish it. I'm sorry."

Cheerilee looked at the paper, and then at Streax.

"Actually," she said, "What you wrote here is very impressive. I already had a brief conversation with your mother, but it would probably be best if I spoke to both of your parents in a meeting. Ask them if they are available tomorrow after school."

Streax nodded, stunned.

"See?" Fluttershy whispered from a nearby desk, "I told you that everything would be okay."

Music and Meetings

Music and Meetings

At dinner that night, Streax told her parents about the requested meeting, to which they agreed to. The next day, she told Cheerilee that her parents said yes.

"Do you think you could be a part of it, Streax?" Cheerilee asked.

"Okay," Streax said, "Why?"

"Because I want your opinion on what we may talk about," Cheerilee answered.

The day was progressing as normal, until Streax began to hear a faint melody. It was vaguely familiar. She tilted her head to hear better. She recalled hearing it on Plasma's orchestra CD. It was an amazing blend of music, with flutes, violins, harps, brass instruments, and even xylophones.

"Streax?" Split said, snapping Streax out of her trance, "How are you doing that?"

Streax looked down. Her left leg was crossed over her right leg, but crossed back under so that her left hoof was under her right hoof.

"I don't know," she answered, "I've always been able to do that. The physical pressure is comfortable for me."

"Weird," Split said, although Streax didn't notice. She was listening to Cheerilee talk about punctuation while listening to the faint music no one else seemed to hear.

"Streax," Cheerilee said, "Is something wrong?"

"No," Streax said, "It's just..." She paused, "Is there an orchestra playing nearby?"

The class began to laugh.

"Actually, yes," Cheerilee said, "The orchestra from Canterlot is coming here to see if any other ponies have what it takes to join them. How did you know that?"

"I'm hearing the music as we speak," Streax said, "Don't you?"

"No," Cheerilee said, "You must have quite an ear to hear that."

Streax looked puzzled for a bit, but quickly drifted off on the faint music once more.

"It's so beautiful," she said.
.....................

That afternoon, when the other ponies had gone home, Streax was helping Cheerilee clean up the classroom until her parents arrived. The four ponies then sat down at a large desk.

"So," Cheerilee said, "Plasma, Wire, I wanted to hold this meeting to inform you of Streax' academic performance."

"How's she doing?" Plasma asked.

"She's quite bright," Cheerilee said, "But she's been having relatively low grades in homework. It starts out smooth, but at the end, errors are constantly made."

"Streax," Wire said, "How late have you been staying up?"

Streax yawned, and said, "Eleven or twelve. Why?"

"Streax," Plasma said, "Why didn't you tell us that you were staying up late to finish homework?"

Streax shrugged, and said, "I guess just like to do it on my own. I like the alone time. The only thing is that I keep zoning out."

"Streax," Plasma said, "Why didn't you tell us? We could've helped you. We're both scientists who know a lot about what's being taught."

Streax, once again, shrugged.

"Also," Cheerilee said, "Did she tell you about the essay she had recently?"

Streax' parents both looked at her, and she looked a bit guilty.

"What happened?" Wire asked.

"I got overwhelmed," Streax answered, "You were asleep when I began to cry and I didn't want to wake you up."

"Streax..." Plasma said.

"If you want," Cheerilee said, "I can let her do half of an assignment if she doesn't feel up to the whole thing. And I can give her extra time on assignments and tests."

"That would be greatly appreciated, Cheerilee," Wire said.

"Alright then. It's settled," Cheerilee said, "But I have one more thing to mention. Streax, do you feel uncomfortable knowing that you don't yet have your cutie mark?"

Streax looked at her bare flank.
"Not really," she said, "I've never really paid attention to it."

"Okay," Cheerilee said, "You can get ready to leave. I'd like to talk to your parents for a second." When Streax left the room, Cheerilee turned to Plasma and Wire.

"Has she ever shown interest in music?" She asked.

"Sort of," Plasma said, "She could always determine the types of instruments in an orchestra ever since she was three. Sounds that are too high pitched for us to hear cause her to cringe in pain because it's so hard on her ears. She likes to sing, but only when no one's around."

"I see," Cheerilee said, "Today, she heard the Canterlot orchestra practicing through the walls of the school. I have a word of advice for you: next year, a choir director is retiring from teaching in Canterlot. Since he grew up here, he agreed to move back and help teach the next generation of singers. Streax, from what I saw, might have potential. I'd recommend enrolling her."

"Alright," Plasma said, "We'll think about it." She and Wire gathered their things and led their daughter back home.

Author's Note

I'm sorry if the chapters are short and choppy. The excitement of Streax' life is gradual and I'm trying to speed it up to avoid boring anyone.

Workouts

Workouts

The next several weeks went well. Streax was becoming a bright student and was slowly finding her place among her classmates. However, after the first semester, Cheerilee had an announcement on the first day back.

"Attention, my little ponies," she said, "Today will be the start of an athletic department here in the school. A half hour will be set aside each day for exercising. There will be a coach for the earth ponies, one for the unicorns, and one for the pegasi."

"Oh, no," Fluttershy whispered, frightened. Streax was a bit uneasy, but she thought that it was worth a shot.
......................

"Attention, everypony!" The pegasus coach said, "My name is Pulsewing, and I'm going to be your coach for the rest of the year." She was a white pegasus with a gold mane and tail and green eyes. Streax couldn't help but see her in royal guard armor.

"Now, I would like to see what you all can do. Give me one lap flying around the school. Go!" As the fillies and colts took off, Pulsewing stopped Fluttershy.

"I would like you to do some special stretches. Your mother told me about you having problems with your flight." Fluttershy gratefully nodded.

Streax was panting by the time she was done, but she made it back in a decent time.

'I just might like this,' she thought.
........................

As the weeks went by, though, the exercises began to grow harder and harder. It went into vigorous wing conditioning. Finally, Pulsewing talked about a very long set.

"You will do five laps around the school, take a ten second break, and repeat four more times."

Streax was already exhausted, but took off with all her might.

By her second round, Streax was not doing well. She was falling very behind, and even losing count of her laps, causing her to do extras.

"You're doing well, Streax!" Pulsewing said, "Just three more!"

'Three more?' Streax thought.

She felt her chest begin to tighten and her breaths to shorten on her next round. By her third lap of the round, it felt like every wing beat was a desperate battle against the air.

'When is this going to be over?' She thought desperately, 'No,' she thought, 'I'm going to make it. I have to make it.'

These thoughts ran through her mind as she kept pressing on. Her breaths came in gasps. She was feeling more and more overwhelmed. Finally, the pressure in her chest lessened as a tear fell.

Pulsewing thought that she felt a raindrop hit her face. But when she looked up, she saw a gray filly crying.

"Streax!" She called. Streax flew down to her, fighting back tears.

"Are you okay," she asked. Streax shook her head, silently crying.

"What happened?" Pulsewing asked.

"I think I got overwhelmed," Streax whispered, "It happens sometimes. I put too much psychological pressure on myself."

Pulsewing thought for a second.

"Come sit down," she said, "And don't push yourself so hard next time."

Science Camp Day 1

The next week, Streax had gotten adjusted to the fitness schedule. Although she still faced getting overwhelmed by the exercise, she was slowly getting used to asking Pulsewing for a break. She was generally ashamed of asking, due to her social insecurity, but Pulsewing learned the signs that Streax was feeling troubled, often in her facial expressions.

But the school year was drawing to a close. Streax was talking with Split and Fluttershy about their summer plans.

"I'm going to Cloudsdale to visit my family," said Fluttershy, "So I'm going to be gone for most of the summer."

"I'm not really doing much," Split said, "I'll just be hanging out at my house."

"I'll be going to a science camp," said Streax, "It'll be for two weeks."

"Sounds cool," Split said.
........................

Streax finished packing her bags and her parents walked her to the lab.

"We'll be nearby whenever you need us," her dad said. Streax nodded, but didn't say anything. She was a mix of emotions. She was both excited and nervous for this camp.

Her parents helped her get settled in her dorm and left. Streax looked around. It was a small room with two beds. Whoever the other pony was already unpacked and was doing something else in another room.

Streax began to hum a song, too nervous to go anywhere, when her roommate suddenly burst in.

"Hey!" She said cheerfully, "You must be my roommate!" Streax nodded, too on edge to speak.

"My name is Party Pie! Who are you?"

"Streax."

"That's a cool name. I couldn't help but hear you humming that song outside. That was pretty good."

"Really?"

"Yeah. I just moved to Ponyville, and I haven't heard anyone sing that good since I got here!"

"Technically, it wasn't singing. It was humming."

"Still, it was good. But anyway, it's getting late. I'm going to bed. Good night."

Streax curled up in bed herself.

'This is going to be interesting,' she thought.
...........................

The next morning, the ponies were lined up with the teacher in front of them.

"Welcome," she said, "I am Metra Mire. I'll be directing your labs these few weeks."

"Please," a pony known as Topaz Tea said, "What could we possibly be doing?"

"Well," Metra said, "We'll be working with measurements today." Topaz rolled her eyes, but Streax didn't notice.

When the labs were set up, there were scales, metal rods, a graduated cylinder, and water. Streax was sharing a lab table with Party, Topaz, and a colt named Boron.

"You have many different types of metals," Metra said, "Your job is to identify them. Does anyone know how to do this?"

Streax raised her hoof.
"You look for characteristics that can be used to identify the substance, such as luster, color, density, malleability, etcetera."

"Very good, Streax!" Metra said, "I must say that I've worked with your parents for years. They've been teaching you." Streax blushed.

"But today, we'll be talking the most about density. The scale you see in front of you is a triple beam balance."

She went on to explain the procedure of using the balance, finding the volume of the samples, and finally calculating the volume. But Streax didn't seem to be listening.

Her eyes appeared to be glassy and her gaze, far away. Metra decided to snap her out of it.

"Streax?" She asked. Streax snapped her head up and briefly shook it.

"Did you hear everything I said?" Metra added. Streax nodded.

"You must use the triple beam balance to find the mass of an object. A kitchen scale won't work because the weight of an object changes with the gravitational pull on it. Mass doesn't. As to find the volume, you must drop a sample into a graduated cylinder containing enough liquid to cover the sample. Through water displacement, the liquid will rise, and the change in the liquid's volume will equate to the solid's volume. After that, finding the density is just a matter of dividing the mass by the volume."

The ponies looked at her, shocked. Streax looked around, confused. She was listening the whole time. What were they staring at?

"I'm sorry, Streax," Metra said, "I thought that you weren't listening."
Streax just gave her an odd look, but turned back to her group.
..............................

Streax was helping as the group measured each metal. She paid special attention to the arrow on the scale where the line was supposed to be when the scale was perfectly balanced. When they were measuring one of the metals, the ponies were starting to write down the measurements before the scale had been "zeroed."

"Hang on," she said, "It's not perfectly level yet."

"It's close enough," Topaz said.

Streax didn't reply, but squeezed in to where they were crowded around the scale and slightly tapped the single gram weight. The line moved down. Too far down. Not satisfied, Streax tapped the weight back, and the line slid back up. Streax quietly huffed in frustration.

"Just forget about it," Topaz said, annoyed, "You don't have to get it exact." Streax ignored her, and tapped the weight ever so slightly, making the line slip into place.

Sighing with relief, she went to where her paper was and wrote down the measurements.

"You know that you didn't have to do that," Topaz said. Streax looked at her, at a loss for words. She knew that this was some type of bullying or something similar, but she couldn't think of anything to say to defend herself. She remembered that a way to stop a bully was to ignore them, so she just shrugged and went back to the others.

Author's Note

Sorry this was a short chapter. I wanted to let you guys know that I haven't quit on this story yet. Anyway, Party Pie is actually the OC of a friend of mine. She's the daughter of Pinkie Pie and Discord (not in this fic, though).

At Age Eleven...

Wind whistled in Streax' ears as she flew above Ponyville. The sky was clear with only a few clouds. Birds were chirping in the trees below. The town spread out like a 3-dimensional map. But none of this registered in Streax' mind. She was in a daze, as usual. That is, until she collided with a bird, who flapped off, squawking.

Streax, shocked from the encounter, shook her head, clearing her mind.

'Where am I?' She asked herself. She then heard voices below.

"Streax!" A stallion below yelled. Streax saw an aura form around her and felt herself get pulled to the ground. When she was on her hooves, she looked up at the stallion, a gray unicorn with a black mane and tail and blue eyes. His cutie mark was a set of wires wound together.

"I'm sorry, dad," Streax said, "I just noticed the clouds and wanted to investigate for a few minutes. Then I dazed again."

"Streax," Wire Up, Streax' dad, said, "This is why your mother and I are afraid to let you go places on your own. You have to always be aware of your surroundings. You could get lost, you could lose things, or, Celestia forbid, someone could snatch you up! Do you want that to happen?"

"No, dad. I'll be more careful next time. How long was I in the daze?"

"Ten minutes. You're almost late for school. Come on!"

"Coming!"
........................

"Welcome to your first day of school, everypony!" A violet red mare with a light pink mane and tail said, "I'm Miss Cheerilee, and I'm your teacher! I would like you all to, one at a time, stand up and introduce yourselves."

One by one, ponies stood up and said their names and something about themselves, but Streax was thinking about what the school year might be like.

"Streax? Streax!"

"Wait, wha?" Streax said, slightly startled.

"It's your turn," Cheerilee said.

"Oh," Streax said, standing up. She felt everyone's eyes on her.

"Uh, hi," she said, "My name is Streax. I'm eleven years old." She racked her brain for something else to say. She wasn't good at saying things when under pressure. She saw everyone staring in anticipation, and she said the first thing that she could think of.

"I have autism."
.............................

Author's Note

Just so you know, this is a story about my own OC, so turn around if you don't like stuff like this, and don't dislike it just because you don't like OC stories.

Talking at Dinner

Talking at Dinner

At dinner, Streax was talking with her parents.

"So, Streax," Wire said, "How was school today?"

"Okay. Not much happened," Streax said, absentmindedly.

"I spoke with Cheerilee," Plasma said, "She says that Streax is very bright, but has some attention issues and doesn't seem to acknowledge the ponies around her very easily. She even told the whole class that she has autism."

Wire nearly spat out the water he just drank.

"Streax," he said, "Why did you tell them that you have autism?"

"We had to say something about ourselves, and I couldn't think of anything else," Streax said without concern.

"Streax," Plasma said, "If you go out telling everyone that you have autism, they may not want to be friends with you. Many ponies with autism can't even speak."

"But I thought that you said that we should all like each other for who we are," Streax said.

"Yes, but sadly, many ponies don't," said Wire.

"Then I don't want to be friends with them," Streax said, "And besides, I think that it's why a pony wanted to talk to me."

"Who?" Wire asked.

"I... Can't remember," Streax said, "But she had a teal coat. I'd probably recognize her if I saw her."

"But she talked to you?" Plasma said.

"Yeah. I was playing in the dirt when she just walked up and started talking."

"What did you talk about?"

"I honestly don't remember. And I was digging in the dirt again, and she was gone before I knew it."

"This is why you need to pay attention, Streax," Wire said, "She may have thought that you were acting rudely. Is that what you want other ponies to see you as?"

Streax just shrugged, finishing the mashed potatoes on her plate. Then she yawned and went up to her room to go to bed.

"Do you think this will go well?" Plasma asked.

"She's never had a real friend," Wire said, "Hopefully this makes the first."

Author's Note

Although it's untrue that I never had a real friend before sixth grade, one of the only friends I felt really close to had moved away, and no one else seemed like more than a friendly acquaintance, except for the girls in my Girl Scout troop, which is where I first met Sabrina, whose OC is Split Decision. But it was at school when the two of us really got to know each other.

The Newest Student

The next day, Streax was back in school, learning about algorithms. It turns out that Split sat right next to her.

"Sorry about ignoring you yesterday," Streax said, "I have issues with attention."

"I could tell," Split said, "But so do I. So I forgive you, not that I wouldn't if I didn't have attention issues."

"I know," Streax said.

"Streax!? Split!?" Cheerilee said, "Can I have your attention, please?"

Streax and Split both sat upright in their chairs, at attention.

"Sorry, Miss Cheerilee," Streax said, "Split and I had finished all of our work and were getting impatient."

"Just know for next time," Cheerilee said, "I just wanted you to meet our new classmate. Moving all the way from Cloudsdale, meet Fluttershy!"

The ponies all clapped as a filly a few years older than Streax walked in, looking very uncomfortable. She was a yellow pegasus with a pink mane and tail. Her cutie mark was three butterflies.

"Uh, hi," she whispered.

Split had to get checked out before lunch, so Streax was in the yard, looking for a place to eat. She saw a spot beneath a big tree, near the back of the yard, away from the other ponies. She sat down when she noticed the pony called "Fluttershy" sitting on the other side of the tree. Streax just sat down and ate in silence.

"Uh," Fluttershy said, "I'm sorry if I'm making you uncomfortable."

"It's okay," Streax said, "I like sitting in silence. It allows me to think, so I don't mind if you don't talk."

Fluttershy simply nodded, and resumed eating her lunch.

"But know that I'm not very judgmental. So when I'm not in a trance or something, feel free to talk to me if you want to. I'm trying to be more social," Streax said.

Fluttershy, again, nodded.

Author's Note

I apologize if these chapters are short. The action in this story is going to be gradual and all this is still rather introductory.