Mistakes

Once again, Twilight found herself alone on a dark path through the forest late at night.  The trees seemed to glare at her, taunting her, daring her to do it. Do what? She didn't know. Forcing herself to take a deep breath, Twilight Sparkle continued. She had done this before. Many times before.  She had been having this dream every night for around a month now.  It still made her nervous, but logically, she knew this was a dream and there was no real danger. Or was there? Glancing up at the sky, she realized with a start that there were no stars in the sky. That was new.  Still, she kept walking. That's what she was supposed to do. That's what she did every time she had this dream. Walk. Just walk and keep walking until the sun comes up. This time was different though, and it was more than just the missing stars. The air felt more sinister somehow, and the moon was huge. Like it wanted to gobble her up. The thought made Twilight shiver. "Maybe I'll trot tonight," she thought, eager to get out of the forest soon.  Breaking into a trot, she continued on, but the feeling of unease only grew.  Suddenly, she was thrown off balance by something, some monster that had grabbed her hoof. "AHHHGH!" She screamed, but nopony was around to hear her.  This wasn't good! The monster had her hoof! It was pulling her down! She screamed some more and struggled for a few more seconds before realizing that she had simply tripped and gotten her hoof stuck in a branch. She freed her hoof and slowly stood back up, feeling foolish. "See? Nothing to worry about. You're just being paranoid. No monsters here. Silly Twilight." No matter what she told herself though, she couldn't shake the feeling that something was wrong.

The next few hours passed by uneventfully.  The whole universe seemed to be plotting against her, but nothing attacked her tonight. "That's a nice surprise," she thought to herself, although she didn't know why it surprised her at all. She had walked this path many times and nothing had happened.  Twilight approached a fork in the road like she did every night. She always went right, but this time something compelled her to chose the left path.  This path was overgrown and unused and Twilight frequently found herself tripping over roots or rocks.  It was almost sunrise by the time she got anywhere. She saw a cave, and the cave had a light inside of it. If she strained her ears she could almost make out the sound of laughter.  Every part of her body urged her to turn and run away, but she cautiously crept forwards. She didn't get very far before sunrise, however, and woke up before reaching her destination.  She muttered a swear to herself and slowly got out of bed to begin her morning routine.  She didn't see Spike anywhere, but if she had to guess he was still asleep. That was fine. Glancing at the clock, she saw it was almost time to meet Rarity and Fluttershy at Sugarcube Corner.

Trotting up to Sugarcube Corner,  she found Rarity and Fluttershy were also just arriving. "Hey Rarity! Hi Fluttershy!" She called out to them and waved. Fluttershy responded with a wave and Rarity replied, "Good morning darling. Isn't the whether simply marvelous today?"

Twilight had to agree. "It's really a beautiful day," she said, "I bet your animals love this sunshine, don't they Fluttershy?"

Fluttershy nodded. "Especially Angel. He loves to lay in the sun for hours. It's so cute." She giggled a little. "Don't let him know I told you guys."

"Of course darling," was Rarity's reply. "He can really be a..." She hesitated looking for the right word, "A funny rabbit sometimes. I doubt anypony else I know could be as patient with him as you."

Fluttershy blushed a little. "Oh, it's nothing really. He's not that bad once you get used to him..."

"Sorry 'Shy, but I'm going to have to agree with Rarity on this one." Twilight was almost laughing at the thought of somepony else trying to take care of the rabbit. "Angel can be a little intimidating sometimes."

Rarity spoke up, "Moving on... Shall we go in?"

With a nod from Twilight and Fluttershy, the three of them went inside and got in line for some food. Twilight got a chocolate doughnut, Rarity ordered an oat muffin, and Fluttershy got an apple pastry.  The three of them found a table and sat down. Twilight decided to ask, "So how are you, Rarity?"

"Oh, I'm doing great, thanks for asking. I got a lot of orders from Canterlot I need done this week, but I'm actually ahead of schedule. Sweetie Belle was very helpful, surprisingly."

"They seem to be getting more patient about their cutie marks," Twilight commented.

Fluttershy piped up. "Oh yes. Applebloom actually comes around sometimes and asks me if I need any help. None of that crusader nonsense, she just seems to like the animals.  Sometimes Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo come along, although they don't seem as interested. But they all seem much more calm. It's a nice change, not having them want to try a billion different things hoping their cutie mark will magically appear. "

Rarity nodded at this. "Say, Twilight, do they still come to your place for lessons in whatever? I know the treehouse is gone, but there would be plenty of room in your castle, wouldn't there?"

"Oh yes. They still come around," Twilight was nodding her head.  "Sometimes I'm too busy to help them, but they've actually sat there quietly for hours reading books about different skills they want to learn. And they like to show me. They're progressing quite a bit actually.  Applebloom especially is getting good at potion making. One time she asked me if I could take her to Zecora-I think Applejack was busy-and they spent the whole day discussing different potions for growing plants and stuff. Very interesting actually."

Fluttershy stifled a giggle. "Oh Twilight, what isn't interesting to you?" Twilight started to object when Rarity cut in. "No really dear, she's right. You'd think the history of a blade of grass was the most interesting thing ever."

"Hey! That's not true! Lot's of things are more interesting than that," Twilight protested. "But still, did you know that when a blade of grass is-" She stopped when the giggles of her friends cut her off.  "Alright, you may have a point," she admitted, "But that doesn't mean it's boring!"

The conversation continued on about lots of different topics, as they finished with their food, but Twilight was only half paying attention. Her mind was on her nightmares. "Are they actually nightmares or just dreams?" She wondered to herself, "The only one that was frightening was last night's, and even that wasn't too bad." As she tuned back into the conversation she heard Rarity saying "Well, this was a fun little get together, but I really must get going to continue working on the dresses. These are some pretty important clients and I don't want to disappoint them."

"Yeah, I should go too," Twilight said, "I have some studying to do."

Rarity rolled her eyes. "You and your studying." Twilight only grinned in response. "Well," said Fluttershy, "I should probably get going too.  Gotta take care of my animals." They all said goodbyes and trotted off in the direction of their homes.

In her castle library Twilight found Spike putting away some books.  "Oh, thanks, Spike. I really appreciate it." Her nose was in a book before Spike could even reply, but that didn't bother Spike. He was used to it. "No problem," he said proudly, "I am your number one assistant after all!" Twilight spent the entire afternoon and up until the evening reading any book she had on dreams and nightmares. Some were explaining why ponies dream, others had theories on how dreams affected your ability to do magic-interesting but not what she was looking for. Most were silly guides on how to interpret dreams.  Twilight didn't pay much attention to those either. The only semi-helpful book she could find talked about how to influence dreams or nightmares by controlling your thoughts before you sleep. It still wasn't what she needed though. Spike noticed her topic and was curious. "Why are you reading about dreams?" He asked her. Twilight only laughed in response, hiding her true feelings, and said, "Oh Spike, you know me. I'll read about anything. Rarity mentioned she had a dream about a huge gem in a dress and that got me thinking about the topic." It wasn't her best excuse, but it satisfied her assistant. "Ok," Spike replied, "I'm going to go read some of my comic books. Call me if you need any help." Twilight didn't respond, already too into her books to notice. Even if they weren't helpful, they were interesting. She found herself reading "Dreaming and the Art of Influencing Dreams" until way late in the night. It still hadn't been helpful to her, unfortunately, but the theories in it were pretty cool. She'd have to look into it more some day. Not today though. A long yawn told her it was time to sleep.

Giving up on her research for now, Twilight crawled into bed. It didn't take her long to fall asleep and find herself back in the forest. A quick glance told her the stars where still gone, and the moon was still huge. The unease feeling from the previous night was still there, mixed with a small sense of urgency, a nagging feeling telling her to run. "Flying. Flying would be quickest," Twilight realized, wondering why she hadn't thought of it before. She tried to stretch her wings and get ready to take off, but she found she couldn't. "That's odd," she thought, "That can't possibly be good... Calm down, Twilight. It's fine. This is all a dream. When the morning comes and you wake up, everything will be normal." Logically she knew that must be true. It didn't exactly feel true though. She started trotting, careful this time to not trip on that branch that had tripped her the previous night.  She came to the fork quicker than the night before, and once again went left, feeling conflicted. Something, a feeling she couldn't explain, was telling her left was the answer. Plus she was really curious about the cave she had never reached. On the other hoof, a large part of her was screaming to turn around and run. She stopped and hesitated. "Do I really want to do this? What's over here that could be giving me these feelings?" She questioned it. "On the other hoof," she reasoned, "If I never go down this path I'll never know. I have to do this." And with that, her decision was made.

More determined than ever, although the feeling that this was a horrible mistake had not gone, she broke into a trot, slowly and cautiously doing her best to avoid the obstetrical this overgrown path presented.  She mostly succeeded. Eventually, after what felt like hours, she saw the cave in the distance. She started galloping, running at her top speed to get there. She was constantly tripping, but that didn't stop her. After each fall, she would spring back up as fast as possible and continue her run. She was sore not only from the running, but from all the cuts, scratches, and bruises from her falls. Her body ached all over, but she continued on. "If only these stupid wings worked," she thought bitterly, "I might even be there by now. How far away could it be?" The thought made her gasp and stop as she realized something. "It's still the same distance away as when I started!" She was so angry and frustrated. "After all this time, I finally get close to figuring this mess out-and then this? This is what's stopping me! That's not fair!" She sat down and started sobbing. "I thought I was getting somewhere," she thought, "But I'm just getting nowhere. A month of this, and the first time I think I'm making progress, I'm can't. It wasn't like Twilight to be that irrational. She was clearly getting somewhere. She had discovered this path and the cave and she would figure it out eventually-and some part of her knew that-but she was frustrated. Frustrated with this dream, frustrated with whatever was stopping her from getting to the cave, and frustrated with herself. Frustrated with herself for not realizing that she was getting nowhere despite hours of running. Frustrated with herself for being frustrated. She knew on some level she wasn't being logical, but all her emotions prevented her from thinking clearly.

She didn't even know why it was so important to her. Just that it was. She had to figure this out. That was one thing she knew clearly.  Perhaps the only thing, at least in that moment. "Why? Why is this happening to me? Twilight continued to sob. She sat down, head in her hooves, crying until the sun came up. Waking in her bed, she knew she was a mess. She should get up and get ready for the day, but she wanted to crawl under her covers and not get up. "No," she told herself. "I have plans today. I'm not going to abandon my friends. I'm not going to let it win, whatever it even is." With that, Twilight got up, still feeling a bit shaky. "Maybe," Twilight admitted to herself, "Maybe it has been a nightmare this whole time. One long nightmare. And maybe it's bothering me more than I wanted to admit. The thought almost made her change her mind and crawl into bed, but something stopped her. "If I give up, it wins," she reminded herself, "And if it wins, I'll never get to the bottom of this. Maybe it's bothering me more than I like to admit, but I'll figure out a way to stop it. She smiled to herself. "I was being silly earlier. Of course I'm making progress. And whatever this is, I'll beat it." She only half believed herself, but it still made her feel better.

She would do whatever it took to make these nightmares stop.