Politics By Other Means

by totallynotabrony

Rating: teen
Tags: Spitfire, Twilight Sparkle, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Dark, Shining Armor
Length: 1470

"Twilight, I'm glad that you handled Prince Rutherford's declaration of war without violence, but he should have never been given the chance to make that threat."

"Twilight, I'm glad that you handled Prince Rutherford's declaration of war without violence, but he should have never been given the chance to make that threat."

Editing by Dai Kirai

Published 2015-07-28 02:20:01 UTC
Last updated 2015-07-28 02:20:01 UTC

Politics By Other Means

Shining Armor walked into the pub, eyes scanning the room. It was full of military ponies of all types, mostly Royal Guard. A few Night Guards were around, but more of them would show up as the evening went on.

He spotted Spitfire at the bar. She raised a glass to him and Shining made his way over, nodding to a few other ponies he knew.

The bartender was there as soon as Shining approached. “Prince Armor, it’s been a while. I think the last time I saw you, you were still Captain of the Guard.”

“You know what they say about promotions.” Shining shrugged. “More money to burn, less opportunity to do so.”

They shared a laugh and the bartender put down Shining’s personal tankard in front of him, filled with his standard.

“Thanks,” said Shining. “Do you mind if I could get a quiet corner tonight?”

“No problem. Take the booth in the back. I’ll make sure the boys keep to themselves.”

Shining nodded to him and headed for the back, Spitfire with him. They slid into the booth on the same side, leaving the seat across the table open.

“I’m still not sure this is the proper thing to do,” Spitfire commented.

“I mentioned it to Celestia.” Shining shrugged. “She said she trusted me.”

“Good enough for me,” Spitfire said. “What about your sister?”

“I know she doesn’t need a big brother to stand up for her.” Shining chuckled. “It’s sometimes hard to remind myself she’s a grown mare and a princess. I try not to force advice on anypony, but I wanted to tell her what I think.”

As they talked about her, Twilight came in, pausing at the door to look around. Shining waved.

She came over to the table, wading through the crowd and drawing only a few stares. Of all the ponies in Equestria, the Guards would be the most likely to recognize a princess on sight. Then again, they were also the most likely to mind their own business.

Shining got up as Twilight approached and they traded a quick hug. “Thanks for coming,” he said.

“Good to see you.” Twilight smiled and sat, glancing across the table. “Spitfire? I didn’t know you would be here.”

“Your brother asked me, Princess.”

“You don’t have to call me that.” Twilight looked a little flustered, but glanced at Shining for an explanation. He wondered how long she would continue to be embarrassed about the title, or when she would start to embrace it.

“In my message, I mentioned the disagreement with Prince Rutherford,” said Shining. “I wanted to talk to you about that and thought Spitfire had something to add.”

A barmaid came over, curtsied in a quick bow, and asked for drink orders. Twilight placed hers after a moment of hesitation and then swung her attention back to Shining.

“Thanks for copying Cadance and I on the message you sent to Celestia,” said Shining. “I read it with some concern. Did Prince Rutherford really declare war between Yakyakistan and Equestria?”

“It was such a crisis! After Spike accidentally revealed he’d been pantomiming with a player piano, the yak delegation threatened to not be friends if they didn’t get a party. We didn’t have an event ready quite yet, and Prince Rutherford declared war.” Twilight’s cheeks flushed pink. “Not my proudest moment, but we eventually did get them that party.”

“He actually said war?”

Twilight’s drink was delivered. She took a sip and frowned in memory. “‘No more longer! We leave now! Yak go to train, return with more yaks! We declare war!’ Those were his exact words. But fortunately, we didn’t fight or anything.”

Shining’s brow furrowed. “Twilight, I'm glad that you handled Prince Rutherford's declaration of war without violence, but he should have never been given the chance to make that threat.”

Twilight put her glass down. “Well, it wasn’t an ideal situation, but we took care of it.”

“I don’t believe that throwing him a party was the correct response to a declaration of war,” Shining said. “He demanded a party, declared war, and got it. Maybe now he thinks ponies are pushovers and will declare war the next time he wants something.”

“Was I not supposed to throw the party we promised?” Twilight asked. “My friends and I enjoyed it too.”

“My point is that war is not something to be taken lightly. As a former military pony, and Spitfire here as a current one, fighting is our job but we’d hate for a war to be declared over a party.”

“I have to agree with Shining,” Spitfire contributed. “All countries should understand and respect that war is an absolute last resort.”

“But we didn’t even fight,” Twilight pointed out. “There was no violence.”

“Not counting the barn, boutique, piano, and everything else they wrecked leading up to it?” Shining asked.

“Well, in a manner of speaking,” Twilight allowed. “I’ve been in fights before, like at your wedding, and the yaks never attacked anypony while they were destroying things.”

“I joined the military to help ponies,” said Shining, “to keep them out of positions like that. But while serving I realized that the military’s primary purpose, the reason it exists, is for violence.”

Twilight waved a hoof. “Then who does all the formal events at the castle or the flyovers and aerial performances?”

“Sure, the military is used for other things,” Spitfire agreed, “we help clear bad weather and clean up after disasters. But Shining is right about the military’s purpose. Sometimes we provide shelter from the storm; sometimes we are the storm.”

“The military hasn’t fought a war in hundreds of years,” Twilight pointed out.

“Which is why Prince Rutherford has me so concerned,” Shining countered. “If he’s so nefarious to casually declare war, or even if he’s just ignorant and reckless, Yakyakistan is going to cause huge political problems.”

Twilight cocked her head. “I thought we were talking about the military.”

“It’s the same thing,” said Shining. “Politics is the practice and theory of influencing other countries. War is politics by other means, an act or threat of force to influence other countries.”

“I know you studied some political theory and ethics while you were at the Guard academy,” said Twilight. “I’ve been reading up on the same, as well as some historical examples since I became a princess.”

“So you understand that wars are declared over things for which ponies would fight and die.”

“I do. A party hardly qualifies,” Twilight acknowledged. “And yes, our foreign policy should probably be firmed up a little to make sure nothing like this happens again. But I still don’t understand why you’re so adamant that war should include violence. I resolved the issue without it.”

“I didn’t say that we had to have violence,” Shining argued. “I said that war should not be declared lightly, and when it is we should meet threats of violence with equal measure to ensure that Equestria is not extorted. Nopony wants to die, but I think it’s good that war is so terrible, so we don’t come to enjoy it. That’s a lesson Prince Rutherford could learn.”

Twilight shrugged. “I like my method better. I made sure he learned his lesson.”

“At the party?” Spitfire asked. “I’ve heard Pinkie Pie throws some crazy ones.”

“No, when I cast a mind control spell on Prince Rutherford and his advisors shortly after he declared war.”

Shining blinked. “What?”

“Well yes, he declared war, and so I defended Equestria. There aren’t any laws against mind spells.” Twilight blushed. “Lucky for me. I’ve had a few accidents since moving to Ponyville and would have been in trouble if there were.”

“You personally fought and ended the war?” said Spitfire. “Princess, respectfully, the military exists to keep civilians out of the fighting. Technically, you aren’t even a legal combatant.”

“Had I waited for a contingent of Guards to form and be dispatched to Ponyville, the yaks would have been long gone and shoring up their own military. If the two armies had met, lives on both sides could have been lost. Given that, I think my actions to end the conflict almost instantly were more than justified.”

“So you got him to give up the war?” Shining asked.

“That’s right. Not to toot my own horn, but he did declare war to an alicorn’s face. If it had been Celestia or Luna, he might not have gotten off so easy.” Twilight leaned forward across the table. “I’m having the press conference next week. I’ll be heading to Yakyakistan to start the annexation process. I even managed to convince Prince Rutherford it was all his idea as part of a friendship plan.”

Twilight sat back and picked up her glass. Shining and Spitfire traded glances.