What’s a “Waifu”?
Written & Edited by Seven81493
It was something everyone did at least once in their lifetime. It wasn’t to be conceited, not at all. She simply wanted to find an article by the Canterlot Times. They had done a piece on her transformation from villain to revered city heroine, and she wanted to see how they had portrayed her. Searching up her own name on the internet had turned out to be a huge mistake, though.
The first page she had found was on a website called ‘Fanime’. She had always considered herself to be a fan of foreign animation, but the fact that it had come up through a search of her own name had confused the girl. Deciding to check it out, she was further confused by what she found within. It appeared to be a forum, and the current topic was ‘Best Waifu?’. Tons of people had replied to the original post, and her name was used in plenty of those replies. She shrugged it off as a coincidence. Many people shared names with characters from anime, and that was likely the case here.
Having had enough of that, she moved the cursor up and clicked the back button, taking her back to the original search page. The second result was the article she had been looking for, and she smiled. Hopefully they had written about her in a good light, and not focused on her past transgressions. After a quick read, her hopes were fulfilled. The article had painted her in very nice fashion, so she didn’t have to worry about any ridicule.
A quick scroll down took her to the comments, but they too were infested with people referring to her as their ‘waifu’. Letting out a sigh, she closed her laptop and headed off to bed. She couldn’t get any sleep that night, though.
“Guys, what’s a ‘waifu’?”
Her friends, who had up to this point been eating their lunch rather quietly, began murmuring amongst one another. It made Sunset Shimmer feel even more uncomfortable, and Rainbow Dash seemed to take notice. “Why do you wanna know?”
“Well, I was looking for that article that the Times did on me. I found it, but I also found a ton of pages where people were calling me their ‘waifu’.”
“It’s, um--”
“Well--”
“It’s nothing you need to worry yourself about, darling.”
“Yeah, what Rarity said,” Applejack agreed. “Now about that song we were writing last night…”
At that, everyone turned their attention back to their prior conversation. Everyone except Sunset. While it was true that she didn’t need to worry about something on the internet, it still bugged her that she didn’t know what it meant. Was it an insult? Perhaps. After all, her friends had been quick to drop the subject. Had that been to spare her feelings? Resolving to find out if this was true or not, she excused herself from the lunch table.
The walk to the computer lab had been a quick one, and Sunset made sure to lock the door behind her. Shuffling over to the nearest computer, she grabbed the mouse and quickly opened up the search engine. That’s when it hit her. ‘Why didn’t I just do this in the first place...’
She rolled her eyes at her own stupid behavior and began typing the word, but suddenly there came a rapping on the door. In a panic, she shut down the computer and got up to unlock the door. She was relieved to see that it was just her friends, but they didn’t look too pleased. “Oh, uh, hey girls!”
“What were you doing in here, Sunset?” Applejack inquired, a frown adorning her face. She could have easily lied to any of the other girls, but not Applejack.
“I, uh…” Tiny drops of sweat began rolling down her forehead, and she couldn’t say anything under her friend’s gaze.
“Honey, we already told you, you don’t need to worry about what ‘waifu’ means.”
“Well why not, Rarity? Everyone is calling me that, and I deserve to know what it means!”
“We know you’re not really used to our world yet, Sunset, and this is one of those things that might be hard to get used to,” Rainbow Dash offered. “Seriously, it would be better if you just let it go.”
“Well maybe I don’t want to let it go,” she countered.
“But it's… embarrassing…” Fluttershy barely managed to whisper out.
“Look, either you girls tell me, or I’m looking it up tonight when I get home. Either way, I’m finding out why everyone is insulting me.”
“Insulting ya? Sunset, ‘waifu’ isn’t an insult.”
“Well then what is it, Applejack?” Sunset looked like she didn’t believe her friend, and Applejack gulped.
“It means you’re their imaginary wife!” Pinkie Pie yelled out, stunning her friends. Sunset, meanwhile, had her mouth agape.
“I, um, what!?”
“Darling, calm down.”
“How can I calm down!? There’s a bunch of creeps on the internet who think that I’m their wife!”
“If you think about it, it’s actually a compliment!” Pinkie Pie exclaimed happily. “I wish people called me their waifu!”
“How on Earth is that a compliment!” Sunset countered, her voice full of strain. Her next words, while not shouted, were full of exasperation. “Oh god, what if they keep pictures of me by their bedside, or worse!”
“Told you you wouldn’t be able to handle it,” Rainbow Dash chuckled. “It’s not easy being famous.”
“What if-- Wait. I’m famous?”
“Well duh! Wasn’t that made clear from all those people knowing who you were?” Rainbow Dash was right, and Sunset blushed in embarrassment. That had been quite an obvious detail, and she had completely missed it.
“B-but still, those guys are just creepy! I’m not anybody’s wife!”
“They know that, it’s just a joke on the internet,” her rocker friend replied, shrugging. “We’ve all been called waifus by people before.”
“Really?”
“Yep!” Pinkie Pie jumped back into the conversation. “Sonata is my waifu!”
“Do the rest of you have ‘waifus’?” Sunset asked, finally calm. She took a seat on the floor, leaning back against the now closed computer lab door. Her friends joined her and laughed.
“Nah, we don’t really see a point in that joke. Well, aside from Pinkie Pie,” Applejack chuckled.
“Are waifus really not a thing where you’re from?” Fluttershy asked.
“Nope.”
“It sounds nice,” she joked. At that, everyone laughed.
“Well, I’m glad to know that I’m not being insulted by everyone. I mean don’t get me wrong, it’s still incredibly creepy, but I suppose it’s better than being hated.” She smiled. A small smile that told everyone she was simply content. After a few seconds, she looked over at Pinkie Pie and tittered. “So Sonata’s your waifu, huh?”
“Yep, but that’s a story for another time!”
Author's Note
I wrote this entirely by myself, no outside help or anything involved. I almost didn't write it, but I had the day off work and decided to just wing it. This was written in a total of about forty-five minutes, and hasn't been edited in any way. Consider it a challenge, if you will.
Anyways I hope you guys liked it, and maybe if it gets enough exposure, I'll have Pinkie Pie tell her story!
Now with a reading by CaptainBron3y!
It was a typical day. At least, as typical as a day for Pinkie Pie could be. The sirens had just been defeated, and life at Canterlot High was finally starting to return to normal. Again, about as normal as life could be for one Pinkamena Diane Pie. Still, the walk to school was always a long one. Whether it was because there was no fun to be had or because she was anxious to see her friends again, she didn’t know.
What she did know, however, was that a noise she had never heard on any of her walks had become apparent. Stopping in her tracks, the party girl looked around for the source. Unfortunately, she couldn’t see anything. Maybe it had just been her imagination playing tricks on her? The sound of metal falling to the ground quickly threw that possibility out the window, however.
“Ow…” Okay, she did hear that. It sounded like it had come from the alleyway to her right. Normally she wouldn’t have investigated a strange noise alone, but it sounded like someone was hurt, or even worse. Steeling herself, she crept her way into the alley. It wasn’t well lit, but it didn’t take her long to find the source of the noises she’d been hearing, leaning up against a wall.
“Sonata?”
The siren didn’t reply, instead hugging her knees and burying her face in them. She’d likely been here for some time, if the stains on her clothes were any indication. Pinkie Pie couldn’t help but feel saddened. Sure, the sirens had tried to take over the world and stuff, but they were still people, and nobody deserved to live in an alley!
“Are you okay, Sonata?”
“Go away…” Sonata finally muttered a reply. It wasn’t what Pinkie wanted to hear, but it was certainly a start.
“Not until you tell me what’s wrong, silly willy!” A quick glare from Sonata wiped away the smile on Pinkie’s face, but she wasn’t going to give up. “Please?”
“Adagio kicked me out, okay!?” Sonata screamed, cramming her face back into her knees.
“What! But why?”
“Because…” The rest of Sonata’s reply was little more than mumbling.
“Uh… what?”
Sighing, the siren raised her head up a bit and looked right at Pinkie Pie. “Because I beat her at Mario Party.”
“Well that sounds like a bit of an overreaction.”
“Have you ever played Mario Party? It gets pretty intense,” Sonata replied. “She was just about to win when I beat her in a duel and stole all of her stars and coins.”
“Yeah, but my friends have never kicked me out onto the street for beating them!”
“Lucky you. I think she was just looking for a reason to kick me out…” She sounded glum, and with good reason.
“Well friends should never be mean to each other!”
“It’s different for us. We’re like, thousands of years old. Plus, Adagio’s been a bit on edge since we lost our battle...” Sonata sighed.
There wasn’t much more that Pinkie could say, especially to a girl she hardly knew, but darn it if she was determined to help everyone she could. “You wanna come to school with me?”
“I doubt anyone there would want to see me again…”
“Well they gave Sunset a second chance,” Pinkie offered. That was certainly true, so what would stop them from doing the same for Sonata and her friends? “‘Sides, you were actually pretty nice for a raging siren bent on taking over the planet!”
Staring blankly, Sonata replied, “Uh… thanks?”
“No problem!” Pinkie Pie was obviously oblivious to the confusion emanating from Sonata, but was quick to change the subject. “But first, you look like you need a shower!”
The siren took a quick whiff of her own arm and recoiled in disgust. That was all Pinkie Pie needed to see before she grabbed Sonata by the arm and began dragging her back to her place.
“Alright,” Pinkie opened her closet, Sonata behind her, “we need to get you some clothes…”
“Do you, uh, have a hoodie?” Sonata asked in little more than a whisper, obviously uncomfortable. She had never been in someone else’s home, at least not in this world.
“Is this okay?” Pinkie giggled, showing a hoodie that she had been given by Rainbow Dash. The words ‘Party Girl!’ were printed on the front in a rainbow pattern, and the hoodie itself was white.
“I guess,” her former enemy shrugged. Pinkie threw her the hoodie and she quickly put it on. “Can we go now?”
“Hold on, Ms. Demandy Pants, we need to get you some pants! Hopefully the un-demandy kind!” Pinkie snorted with laughter at her joke. Sonata couldn’t help but find the pink girl strange, yet she found that strangeness oddly endearing. “These ones should fit!” She exclaimed, throwing a pair at the siren.
As soon as she was done putting on the pants, Pinkie Pie smiled widely. “Okay, now we can go to school! You’re gonna meet everyone and it’s gonna be super duper fun!”
Before Sonata could say anything, she found herself being dragged away once again.
“And that’s the story of how Sonata became my waifu!”
“That’s… great, Pinkie Pie. Unfortunately, I’m going to have to fail you.”
“WHAT!? That story was totally cute!”
“It was also very outlandish. I sincerely doubt that Ms. Dusk and yourself became friends so quickly, let alone that her friends would kick her out onto the street for losing to her in a video game. Not to mention, you didn’t actually show anything.”
“Ohhh… so that’s why they call it show and tell! Well hold on, Mr. Write!” Pinkie exclaimed, running from her class. As her teacher and fellow students wondered what she could possibly be doing, she burst back into the room with someone in tow. “Here she is!”
Before the teacher could say anything, Pinkie planted her lips onto Sonata’s, eliciting a lot of whooping from the male students. Pulling her head back with a smirk, she looked at her friends in their seats. “See, I told you she was my waifu!”
Sunset, who had been sitting idly during the story up to this point, simply facepalmed.
Author's Note
I said I'd write Pinkie's story if the original got enough exposure. So I did, and I did it without any editing or anything. I don't like it as much as the first chapter, but I think it turned out pretty alright.
As always, comment with your criticisms, but keep it clean!
