Daring Scoots

“I hope we run into a really scary monster.”

The Crusaders were in high spirits heading to Ponyville on the bright spring day. Memories of past Crusading mishaps disregarded, Scootaloo knew that at least one of the trio was bound to discover some spectacular hidden penchant, and maybe even their cutie mark. Scootaloo allowed her imagination to wander, envisaging the Crusaders engaged in a ferocious battle against some savage beast invading Ponyville.

Interrupting Scootaloo’s reverie, Apple Bloom lowered her head and gave an exasperated sigh. “Don’t even say things like that, Scootaloo. That’s just askin’ for trouble.”

“Well,” Sweetie Belle began, “I think we could definitely take on at least a timber wolf right now. After all, I’ve been practicing my magic and Apple Bloom can buck and lasso. And we all saw how quick Scootaloo is in the air.”

Not paying attention, Scootaloo remarked, “If only I could fight alongside Rainbow Dash. If only…”

Meanwhile, Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom had begun to argue.

“All I’m sayin’ is that I think we ought to be a touch bit more careful with our Crusadin’ business. Pickin’ fights with monsters is way out of our league.”

“And all I’m saying,” Sweetie Belle squeaked, “is that if Rarity can fight monsters, then so can we! I mean, this is Rarity we’re talking about.”

Engaged in their usual friendly banter, the Crusaders arrived in the outskirts of the town in no time at all. Underneath an old basswood on a desolate boulevard sat familiar pegasus. Derpy Hooves sat with her face resting on her forelegs, appearing rather dejected. She wore her mailmare’s hat and her mail bag was slung over a shoulder, but she was surrounded by dozens of various letters and parcels which were strewn haphazardly amid the dead leaves. Crying softly, Derpy was so disconsolate that she showed no sign of recognition as the fillies approached. Only when Scootaloo gave a hearty, “Hey, Derpy, what’s up?” did Derpy raise her head with a sniff.

Showing a bit more tact, Sweetie Bell ventured, “Hi there, Derpy. Are you having some trouble with the mail delivery?”

Derpy gave a big snuffle and blinked at the filles, but said nothing.

“Derpy!” said Apple Bloom. “Are you OK?” Derpy remained taciturn.

“‘Cause,” began Apple Bloom gently, “we Crusaders were just lookin’ to try some new activities today and if you would do us the honor of lettin’ us help you with your route today…”

“Really?” asked Derpy in a more spirited tone, some reticence abandoned. “You’d do that?”

“Well duh,” said Apple Bloom. “We would love it if you taught us a little about mail delivery. We could even get our cutie marks.”

“Ohh,” sighed Derpy, relief washing over her face. “I could really use some help. I just don’t know what went wrong. See, there I was, delivering the mail like I always do, when I realized I mixed up a delivery. I left a package for 264 Main St. She gestured to the nearest house on her left, where the tarnished brass numbers 264 were nailed to the front siding. The front porch was bare.

The Cutie Mark Crusaders glanced at one another. “Uhhh…” began a perplexed Scootaloo, “what’s the problem then?”

“Yeah,” added Sweetie Belle, isn’t that the right house for the delivery?”

“No, no, no!” Derpy wailed, “This isn’t 264 Main St. It’s 264 Mane St.” She spelled both street names aloud in order to differentiate.

“OK,” said Apple Bloom, “well, that’s just fine. It looks like they already took the package in. Just explain the mix up and get it back. Everypony makes mistakes now an’ again.”

Derpy moaned, “I already tried that. The stallion that answered the door pretended like it was his package all along. But I know it wasn’t, see?” She handed the Crusaders a file which contained notes about some of the more expensive package deliveries. Sweetie Belle slipped out the right delivery sheet, and sure enough, the package was supposed to be delivered to a house on Main Street with the matching address numbers halfway across town.

“There’s no mistaking it, he has the wrong package.” said Apple Bloom. “Did ya show him this? What’d he say?”

Derpy was looking more and more upset. “He s-said that he was expecting this package and that it must have b-been a typo on the mailing address. Then he… he…”

“What??” demanded all three fillies at once.

“He accused me of trying to steal his mail!” cried Derpy. “Then he shoved me off the porch onto the ground. And he spilled all my ma-a-ail.” Derpy started sobbing, deeply aggrieved.

Apple Bloom gasped furiously. Sweetie Belle gave a squeal of outrage. Scootaloo was so greatly affronted for Derpy’s sake that she started to float, buzzing her wings lividly. The Crusaders had never heard of anypony treating any other pony so horridly, and the great sense of injustice fueled their indignation.

“Don’t worry, Derpy!” hollered Apple Bloom, startling the others. “We’re gonna help you in any way we can.”

“Yeah,” commiserated Sweetie Belle. “That guy sounds like nothing but a big fat meanie.”

“Crusader huddle!” glowered Scootaloo.

The three fillies grouped together and began to conspire.

Scootaloo brought her front hooves together and began a full-blown soliloquy. “Alright, girls. A great blow to democracy and all things fair and just has just been dealt today, in our home town of Ponyville. Now, we could sit idly by, and let some complete scumbag get away with the most atrocious of deeds, or we can stand and fight like Crusaders! We could wallow in should-haves, when we should be embracing the can-dos! We can ignore this great offense to an innocent mare, or we can…”

“Uh, Scootaloo? I think we get it,” interrupted Apple Bloom. “We gotta teach this guy a lesson. But firstly, what exactly was in this package? It musta been pretty valuable for someone to want to keep it for themselves so bad.”

Sweetie Belle, who had been looking over the delivery forms in the mean time, suddenly gave a gasp of astonishment.

“What?” asked Apple Bloom and Scootaloo. In answer, Sweetie Belle shoved the product description form in their faces. “Look!”

“Eh, what are we looking at?” asked Apple Bloom.

“The item was a ruby encrusted tiara!” said Sweetie Belle.

“So what?” Scootaloo was confused. “That doesn’t make any sense. Rubies are super common. That tiara couldn’t have cost more than 20 bits.”

“Nooo,” whined Sweetie Belle, distraught. “This isn’t any old tiara. It was made over a hundred years ago by a brilliant artisan by the name of Gold Leaf. He specialized in jewelry and other adornments, and of course Rarity is obsessed with his work. Apparently this guy made the most brilliant designs by basing his work off of the patterns of nature. But barely any of his work is still around today. A tiara made by Gold Leaf would cost at least…”

“Yes??” prompted Apple Bloom and Scootaloo.

“...at least 10,000 bits.”

Apple Bloom’s jaw hit the ground, and Scootaloo almost fainted.

“That’s why we need to get this back at any cost. If this is the real deal, then we need to deliver it to the right pony. Otherwise, Derpy could get in big trouble,” concluded Sweetie Belle.
The three fillies glanced at Derpy, who was laying on the ground, pawing at the dirt with a hoof. The Crusaders broke the huddle and approached the downtrodden mare.

“OK Derpy, tell ya what,” said Apple Bloom. “You’ve been through enough today. So we just want you to go home and rest up. We can handle this jokester at 264 Mane, plus we’ll finish your mail route for you.”

Derpy’s eyes again flooded with tears, but this time, they were of gratitude. “Oh, thank you so much, Crusaders. I don’t even know if that’s allowed, but I am so grateful.”

“Anytime Derpy!” affirmed Sweetie Belle. “When the Crusaders make a promise, we always carry through.”

“Thank youuuuu!” With a great leap, Derpy lifted off gracefully, then promptly ensnared herself in the branches of the old basswood. “Sorry!” she apologized to the tree before disentangling herself and flying off.

“Well Crusaders,” Scootaloo said excitedly. “Looks like we have our work cut out for us. This is our good deed of the day, plus we can get our cutie marks as mailmares!”

“Or in public relations,” said Sweetie Belle dubiously as she gave a hesitant glance to the house.

Atop the apex of the roof, a crow cawed portentously.