When the Monster Comes Out

by reflective vagrant

Rating: everyone
Tags: Fluttershy, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 3585

In events leading up to Do Princesses Dream of Magical Sheep, Fluttershy makes a discovery about herself and has to find a way to live with it.

She had tried to dismiss it as coincidence, that she's just learning healthy assertiveness and to not be a doormat. But she couldn't deny it anymore. Her friends told her that she was cured but she knew better. Her recent confidence boost wasn't from practice. It was the instincts of the monster still inside her, inching their way out. She knew this was something that she needed to address before it got out of control. The part that scared her the most was that she was starting to like it.

Published 2015-09-13 02:40:01 UTC
Last updated 2015-09-13 02:40:01 UTC

Awakened Instincts

Author's Note

Please feel free to point out any grammatical errors I have made. It's not always easy to catch everything when you edit your own work.

Awakened Instincts

Fluttershy woke up from a restful sleep in the comfort of her own bed with a content smile on her face.

"What a lovely dream," she spoke aloud in her usual kind and cheerful voice.

She got out of bed and went to the downstairs of her cottage to start the morning feeding of her animal friends. Such was the life of an animal caregiver. The chores always needed to be done as soon as possible.

As she stepped off the last stair to go outside and get started, she turned her head to something that had gotten her attention.

"It sounds like Applejack's rooster is even healthier now than before he got sick," she said with a simple joy to nopony in particular. "I'm glad the pointers I gave her helped him recover so well. His voice didn't used to carry..."

Almost immediately the smile on her face washed away and a faint look of uncertainty replaced it. "...This far."

She paused for a few moments at the bottom of the stair case before she found Angel Bunny tugging at her mane. "Oh right, the chores. Thank you, Angel."

"By the way," Fluttershy asked her little bunny as she started towards the front door, "Has 'you know what' came in? I didn't get a chance to check last night."

With a few hops, Angel dashed ahead and jumped onto an end table with the mail on it then placed a paw on the top envelope and shook his head side to side.

Fluttershy looked down in disappointment. "Oh, I see. Well maybe it will be in today."

Over the course of the early morning hours, Fluttershy had managed to breeze through her chores in a way that only a pony that loved her work and the animals trusted wholeheartedly could do, just as she had done for many a morning before.

At the end of her morning chores, Fluttershy was finishing up the routine therapy massage for her grizzly bear friend's sore shoulder. "And there we go. Now be sure to be careful with that arm and come right back if it star–"

Her ear twitched upward and her eyes widened. Leaping over top her bear friend without explanation, she flew with a quick burst of speed and caught a baby bird that had almost hit the ground.

"Are you alright?" she called out to the young bluejay with a tone befitting a worried mother. With a relieved tweet for a response, Fluttershy smiled and flew up to return the little bird to its nest and siblings.

"Now you all need to be careful to not push each other out of the nest. You almost lost your little sister here."

Some happy tweeting of gratitude came from the nest as Fluttershy contently descended back to the ground, only to be scooped up by the bear she had just been tending moments before. He hugged her as tightly as he always did to show his gratitude as well, with his only disdain having been the small wait he had to endure before he could hug her.

With a soft hoof tap on his chest a few seconds later, to let him know she needed air, the bear let go and trudged back to the Everfree Forest. Fluttershy inhaled deeply but calmly to regain her wind. With her morning chores finished she surveyed the area to make sure she didn't miss anything. It wasn't that she was forgetful, but on occasion she would have to do her chores in a different order when something came up and making a habit of double checking at the end helped her be at peace, knowing none of her animal friends' needs weren't met that day.

When she panned back to the cottage, she saw Angel Bunny waiting patiently for his breakfast. Of course waiting patiently by Angel Bunny's standards meant holding his special salad cookbook up at the window seal and tapping it with his paw repeatedly, instead of coming outside and thumping one of his back feet on Fluttershy's hoof in the middle of whatever chore she was doing at the time.

"Alright, Angel. I'm coming," Fluttershy called.

When she had come inside, she saw Angel had asked for a salad that was a little on the complex side. "It's a bit over the top, but since you waited so patiently for me to get the chores done this morning I'll see what I can do."

Fluttershy went about getting the breakfast ready for both herself and Angel. Having some of the supplies but missing others, she substituted to get it as close to what he asked for as she could. While she did this she also worked on her own breakfast as needed.

A little while later Fluttershy had gotten his breakfast and her own, minus her toast, made and had sat down with her beloved pet for breakfast.

She looked over at Angel to see him holding one of the tiny tomatoes from his salad up. With a scowl on his face he was pointing to his open cookbook. Its illustration showed larger tomatoes sliced up in the salad.

Just as he was about to get upset and purposely spill his salad all over the table, he found himself being glared at by his master. 'The stare' Fluttershy was famous for was far too strong for a simple situation like this, but over time she had learned to utilize its essence in lesser forms for more mild situations, learning to be healthily assertive.

"Now, Angel!" She stated quite firmly but calmly at him. "We are on a budget, and I can't go off to get the supplies for fancy salads! Every time I have to take extra time to get things ready for you, I lose time I need to train the other caregivers! Blossomforth is still new to ferret care and I needed to get things ready before she came! Be grateful I was able to get something nice for your breakfast at all!"

At this point Angel had been cowering down on the table next to his bowl, knowing he had done wrong. He gingerly lifted a paw over to pick up the tiny tomato from before. He took an uneasy bite from it and smiled just as uneasily.

Fluttershy eased up on him just as the toast popped up from the toaster. She went to retrieve the toast only to be stopped suddenly in her tracks.

She spied her reflection in the toaster's metallic surface. It wasn't completely flat but it was smooth enough for her to unmistakably spy the furled eyebrows she had lingering on her face. She took a moment to relax the tension in her face only to replace it with a frown the moment after.

An awkward breakfast passed with Angel Bunny eating his salad without complaint, but avoiding eye contact with his master. His ears had tilted down a little, cuing the experienced animal reader that her pet had become uncomfortable with the situation. Her own ears went down in turn, waiting for her pet to see her sorrow before she verbally apologized, only to never have those big black eyes wander away from the bowl in front of them.

Half way through her breakfast, she heard the strong but slightly off balance wing beats of a pony she knew well approaching. Getting up from the table, she made a quick bead for the front door. Outside, a grey mare stood in front of one of her many clearly occupied birdhouses, rustling through her mail delivery bag as if she were about to deliver.

"Thank you for bringing the mail, Ditsy. I can take it myself," she called with strong purpose to her voice.

The grey mare lifted her head back up to face the birdhouse again, holding a tiny package. "There you go," she said as she delivered the package to the birdhouse.

"Special delivery from little Dinky!" she declared as she turned away from the happy cardinal, who was pecking at the home made seed ball treat merrily.

"Alright then," the grey mare responded to Fluttershy in a professional yet genuinely cheery voice. She flew a short ways to Fluttershy's doorway and delivered the mail to the eager hooves of the recipient.

A particularly brief attempt at a polite goodbye and a closed door later, Fluttershy was sifting through the mail with the utmost urgency. When she reached the second to last envelope she did a double take.

"It's in!" she declared.

Hearing his master's excitement, Angel Bunny quickly darted to her side from the kitchen as she tore open the envelope.

"Dear Ms Fluttershy," Fluttershy read aloud to herself, leaning back on her front door. "We, at the Institute of Medical Studies of Magical Influence, are pleased to inform you that..." Her voice trailed off as her eyes continued down the page eagerly.

The eagerness in her eyes quickly faded as she read through the letter. Tears welled up in those same eyes as the paper slipped from her hooves. As she laid down, Angel quickly came to her comfort in effort to ease his master's pain.

Fluttershy withdrew from her pet's touch and spoke softly to herself, "It's true then. There still is a monster in me."

Finding Balance

Twilight sat at a table in the library wing of her new palace. With her usual concentrated face, her eyes repeatedly combed the letter that Fluttershy had brought to her. After reading it over a final time, she set it down and gave an unhappy sigh.

"I'm sorry I did this to you, Fluttershy." Twilight looked over at her friend standing next to her. "I know it's not a huge problem, but I was still the one that caused it with my recklessness and now you're the one that has to live with it."

"So there's nothing you can do?" Fluttershy asked meekly as Twilight got out of her seat. "You can't get the rest of it out?"

"Sadly no." Twilight embraced her depressed friend. "It can't be filtered down any better than I already did back then and removing it forcibly would cause a lot more harm than good."

The hug broke and Fluttershy leaned backwards to sit on the floor. "What am I going to do?"

"You know I'm here if you need me." Twilight took an earnest step towards her in comfort. "I'll help in whatever way I can. But I think you should pay our counselor friend a visit. I think he can help you more than I can right now."

Fluttershy's disappointed face gave way to a small but sincere smile.

"OK Twilight. That sounds good." She got up and took a few steps to the door. "But um..." She turned her head back to her friend. "I know you said it wouldn't do any good, but could you give that filtering spell one more go? It might get a little more out."

"Fluttershy, I know it wo..." Twilight began to lecture her but paused. With a furled brow and a smile, she lit up her horn. "Sure. Now I'm going to need your undivided attention."

"Ah, Ms Fluttershy. This is bit of a surprise but please do come in." Fluttershy's counselor called out to her as he finished putting one of his reference books away on the shelf.

"I'm sorry if I'm intruding doctor." Fluttershy called out as she entered the door. "I hope you weren't busy."

Fluttershy came into the counselor's office and sat down on the therapy couch. Meanwhile, The counselor's small form hopped off the stool he had been using and went over to his chair.

"You aren't intruding at all Ms Fluttershy," the counselor reassured her as he got climbed into his chair. He then got his clipboard ready and reflexively clicked his pen a few times. "And I wasn't in the middle of anything that can't be put off for a few minutes. Now tell me, what has been troubling you?"

"Well, doctor, It's about my recent assertiveness."

"Ah yes. I recall hearing from you're friends that you have been finding a healthy balance in this. I must say that I am quite impressed by your progress."

"That's just it doctor," Fluttershy nearly shouted in frustration. "I haven't actually made any progress. It's all been a lie!"

The counselor had set his notepad down on his lap, giving Fluttershy his utmost focus. "Wh-what do you mean by 'it's all been a lie?'" he asked in mild shock.

Fluttershy's face squeezed tight, her ears dropped down as she pulled her posture backwards.

The counselor leaned slightly forward and spoke softly again. "I don't mean to sound skeptical, but I have seen some of this assertiveness with my own eyes. Why do you say that you haven't made any progress?"

Fluttershy said nothing for a moment. She only looked down at the floor and slumped a little.

"I apologize," the counselor responded, "I strive to have my patients trust me to listen to their concerns without judgement, but to do so I must also respect their privacy. You don't have to tell me if you aren't comfortable with it."

Fluttershy shook her head and inhaled. "No, doctor. I need to do this." She looked back at her wing. "It's just that..."

The counselor leaned back again as he read her expression. "It's just that it still isn't easy for you, even though you feel that it is vital that you talk about it? Feel free to take your time."

Fluttershy looked back down at the floor but with a little more strength to her posture. "Well, I had a bit of a mishap a while back and we had thought it had been fixed, but then I had noticed..." A few seconds of silence passed as Fluttershy's face scrunched down in thought. "...Certain things about being assertive had started coming too easily for me. I eventually realized that it was connected and asked for some testing to be done."

Her wing opened up enough to show a piece of paper hidden underneath. Fluttershy took it and passed it to the doctor. "This is the letter I got back from the ponies I asked about it."

The counselor unfolded the paper and read it out loud in a soft and respectful volume. "Dear Ms Fluttershy, we at the Institute of Medical Studies of Magical Influence are pleased to inform you that the affliction of the subject you described and sent samples of is in fact not malevolent in nature.

"We are impressed at your recognition of this affliction at such trace amounts. Though it shares enough of the same properties as Lycanthropy to understand your mistaking of it for this, it does not share the parasitic nature required to be classified as..."

The counselor took a pause and shifted a little in his seat.

"-to be classified as a Lycanthropy 'curse'. The sample will be given advanced testing to see if it has proper relations to the Lycanthropy Family.

"For the subject's personal knowledge, the sample showed no particular potential for growing stronger or risk of infecting others whatsoever. It is benign in these respects and poses no grand scale threat. Furthermore, there is no medical reason to believe that merits advanced techniques to be used for its removal entirely as its influence is minor at the levels of the sample given. If the subject is exposed to more of this affliction's source, we recommend using simple filtration spells to keep it in check."

When the counselor was finished reading, he sat there and pawed at his chin a little in thought. "Well this certainly is something. Am I to presume the 'subject' in this letter is yourself?"

Fluttershy nodded meekly. "It's kind of hard to explain, but I'll try."

"Perhaps I can save you some time Ms Fluttershy. Is this about the transformation in the adventure you and your friends had with vampire fruit bats?"

"Y-Yes!" Fluttershy stated in shock, "How did you know about that?"

"One of your friends came to talk about it a while back," he said as he suddenly scribbled a quick note. "Though she had respectively omitted which one of her friends had been transformed. I just connected the dots when I read your letter."

After a few more clicks of his pen and a flipping of a page in his notebook, he looked back at her with an almost synthetic smile. "I can assure you that it's nothing to be ashamed of, especially in my office. Please continue at your own pace."

"Well, I'm afraid that the little piece left in me is still influencing me. Like it's not really me learning to be assertive, but rather it pushing me."

"The letter did seem to indicate there would be some influence. But why do you feel like it's pushing you?"

Fluttershy gave a tiny huff. "Because even though I've been getting more done, I've been scaring ponies."

"Really? Could you give an example?"

"Well... not really. I guess I just felt like I've been pushier lately. I haven't really had to try much since the accident. I argued with Pinkie Pie when we should have been focusing on making Twilight's castle a home for her. But then again my birds weren't in the wrong, they were just scared. Then there was the time I made Rainbow Dash cry to get past the fact Tank had to hibernate for winter."

"So you feel like you were mean spirited then?" the counselor inquired, "Like you should have done something more gentle?"

"Well no. I knew that she had to let it out to get better and that was the only way to do it. It's just so... Well, just this morning I scowled at Angel bunny for turning away the salad I tried to make for him. I was upset that he didn't appreciate the effort, but I didn't mean to make him scared. He wouldn't even look at me for the rest of breakfast."

After a moment of silence the counselor stopped his scribbling and spoke up. "Ms Fluttershy, I think I see where you're coming from. You're afraid that the changes this 'affliction' has made to your psyche has made you a less caring pony than you had been before. But you need to realize that sometimes ponies will feel scorned when you say what needs to be said. It isn't necessarily because of this new influence."

The counselor got out of his seat and gestured Fluttershy to do the same. "This new part of you may not be the nicest part of you, but I don't think it's going to completely change who you are. It may make being assertive easier now, but it hasn't overtaken your kind side. I can assure you that I have seen a plethora of signs since the time of the incident that you are still a very deeply caring pony."

"How can you be sure, doctor?" Fluttershy asked as she and the counselor headed towards his door. "I don't want to slip up and let that monster out."

"Even just in our brief visit today, I have seen enough to believe adamantly that you still have a firm grip on this. If you had lost your desire to be caring, then you wouldn't care enough to seek a remedy for the problem. Facing one's flawed side can be unpleasant, but I see a pony that is more than equipped enough to guide this 'monster' in the right direction if she just chooses to be persistent on it."

The doctor shook a little as he opened the door for her. "Shall we make an appointment to talk more on this first thing tomorrow? I do hate to say it, but it is closing time and I need to get home on time tonight."

"Actually, no thank you, doctor. You helped me get my thoughts together. I think I just need to get used to this. Maybe a specialist would help. Do you know anypony that would know more about magic like this?"

"I-I'll have to think about it Ms Fluttershy. Maybe next time I'll have some... somepony in mind."

"Thank you again doctor," Fluttershy called through the hastily closed door. "Oh. OK then." Fluttershy said to herself as she turned to the front door. "I suppose I should be getting home to bed too. Were taking a pet day tomorrow and Angel gets upset if I wake up late on a pet day."

Back in the office, the counselor slumped down on the ground and hugged himself with his shaking forelimbs. His eyes finally let go of the water they held back as he shook there, leaning against his office door for a moment. "Yes Fluttershy," he whispered to himself after he heard the front door close gently. "I know someone that has a lot of experience with this kind of magic. You just caught him off guard today."

Author's Note

For anybody wondering what's up with the doctor, it's a nod to a character made by another brony, referenced with permission. But since it isn't mine, this nod is all I can do. If you want to delve into the character itself, here is a link:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FRtu2hUSyHE