Derpsalis

by Dogelol

Rating: everyone
Tags: Changelings, Original Character, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Queen Chrysalis, Other, Adventure, Random
Length: 3514

What happens when Chrysalis becomes a full derp and starts running all around Equestria draging her loyal subject with her.

Chrysalis has been cursed by a wizard to become full derp every now and then. And one of her loyal subject has to take care for her during the process.
But will he be able to?
Warning contains high levels of Derping

Chicago Ted (editor)
Cover image

Published 2015-07-29 17:10:02 UTC
Last updated 2015-07-29 17:10:02 UTC

Chapter 1 - Canderplot

It was already morning in Equestria. In a field next to a lake, a changeling was laying on the ground, apparently asleep. Next to him stood none other than the Queen herself, looking down at him.

"Wake up," the Queen said as she poked Silver Fang. The changeling didn’t react.

"WAKE UP!" Chrysalis shouted, but the changeling didn’t react. She tapped her chin with a hoof for a while before coming with an idea. Her horn lit up with a green aura as she took the sleeping changeling up in the air and threw him in the river next to her.

"This should work," she said while giggling. Then she commented, "He isn’t waking up," as the changeling slowly sank in the water. "I'd better get something to get him out." She started going through Silver Fang’s items he had gathered the previous night.

"AAAHH! SOMEONE IS TOUCHING MY STUFF!" he screamed as he burst out of the water and threw himself on the shore. The changeling coughed to clear his throat from the water before looking up at Chrysalis His face reflected his internal confusion.

"Oh you woke up,” she said. Then she smiled. “That’s good.”

"What are you doing going through my stuff?" he said while shaking off water from himself. "What was I doing in the water, and why are we outside the hive?"

"Oh, I was just searching for something to get you out of the water,” she casually replied. “I threw you in there to wake you up."

"You WHAT!?" he shouted, further confused. "Couldn’t you just poke me or tell me to wake up?"

"I did, but it didn’t wake you up," she explained

"Oh... yeah..." he said with an awkward smile. "Still, what are we doing outside the hive?"

"It’s a surprise!" the Queen happily announced as she jumped in the air in a burst of energy.

"Okay, so where are we heading this time?" the changeling asked while checking on his items.

"You will see, just follow me" she giggled. She started walking towards one mountain in the distance, being followed by her loyal subject.

Chrysalis and Silver Fang were currently climbing the mountain. The changeling was struggling, pulling a heavy cart filled with items while the Queen just hopped left and right, admiring random rocks and flowers. Her majesty is sure having some fun while I have a pain in my hoof from all this pulling, he thought to himself.

"Are we there yet?" he asked

"Yes we are," the Queen replied. This confused Silver Fang.

"And where exactly are we?" Silver asked.

"On the mountain, silly," Chrysalis replied, smiling as widely as ever.

"You brought me this whole way just to climb a mountain!?" The changeling shot her an angry glance.

"No, I brought you to..." She grabbed the changeling and swung him towards what seemed like a city in the mountain. "Canterlot!" Then she dropped him on the ground. As soon as she dropped the changeling, it jumped in panic and quickly threw himself into a nearby bush.

"What are you doing out in the open!?" he asked Chrysalis.

"I'm standing," she replied "Am I not doing it right?"

"I meant, why aren’t you hiding?” He beckoned her towards the bush. “If anypony sees you, we’ll get in trouble!"

"Oh... okay!" she replied and slowly walked towards the bush "Who are we hiding from, anyway?"

"From everypony in Canterlot, until we disguise ourselves," he explained. "Are you sure you want us to go there?"

"Yep, 100% sure," she replied happily.

"Okay then, let’s disguise," he resigned. Green flames engulfed him, disguising him as a red-coated unicorn stallion with pink eyes and a pink mane. The cutie mark was an apple surrounded by cotton candy. "From now on, my name is Cotton Apple. Don’t forget it."

"Okay, my turn!" Chrysalis announced as she disguised herself as a tall, rainbow-coated alicorn with a floating rainbow-colored mane and rainbow-colored eyes, and a double rainbow for a cutie mark. "My name is now Rainbow Rainbow Rainbow!"

"Are you serious?" Silver facehooved. "Do you really believe that these ponies would fall for that disguise?"

"Oh... let me fix this," she said, doing nothing.

"I don’t really see you fixing it," he reminded.

"I did!" Chrysalis replied. "From now on, my name is Rainbow Twinkle Shine!"

Silver only gazed at Chrysalis with a deadpan expression. “I... am speechless.”

"I know, isn’t it just genius?" she happily asked.

It’s anything but genius, he thought to himself.

"Let me just grab the cart and we can go," he said as he went towards the place he left the cart. A moment passed, and Chrysalis heard a half-shocked, half-angry shout of “WHAT!?”

"What’s wrong?" the Queen asked.

"The cart’s missing," He started panicked and jumping all around, looking wherever it might be. "WHERE. CAN. IT. BE!?"

"Hey, look over there," Chrysalis said. She pointed at the cart which was going towards a cliff. "I think it’s..."

"GONNA FALL!" Silver Fang started running after it, while Chrysalis merely hopped slowly after him. Regardless, he couldn’t reach the cart in time and it fell off the cliff. Now Silver looked really peeved off. Calm down. Just calm down. She’s my Queen, after all, he thought to himself while catching his breath. It didn’t take long for Chrysalis to catch up to him.

"So did you stop it?" she asked him while Fang remained silent. "I’ll take that as a yes." She smiled and started hopping back towards Canterlot, followed by a very angry Silver Fang.

It didn’t take them long to reach the city’s entrance. Silver looked annoyed next to Chrysalis, who was jumping around, greeting everypony entering or leaving the city. This gathered strange looks, especially for her unusual disguise. The guards on the front entrance let them pass freely, only looking back at them with awkward expressions on their faces. On the inside, the city was huge and beautiful, filled with various structures of white marble and gold accents, and streets filled with fancy-looking ponies.

"So, what are we doing next?" the changeling asked.

"I don’t know," Chrysalis replied.

"What? You know I won’t even bother," the changeling replied, annoyed at this prospective. "Let’s just walk the streets and go back to the hive, okay?"

"Okay!"

They walked around the town for some time, having fun – well, only Chrysalis had fun, while Silver followed her around, keeping an eye on her, making sure she didn’t get into trouble. But, eventually, trouble found them. While they were walking down one of the main streets of Canterlot, Silver saw that Chrysalis was getting nervous. She was cautiously looking around.

"Is everything alright, Your Majesty?" he asked cautiously. "You aren’t mad for my temper earlier, are you?"

"No, it’s not that," she replied.

"Then what is it?" Silver raised an eyebrow.

"Look up there." She pointed at a lamp.

"That’s a lamp, Twinkle," he stated.

"Yes, I know – but look at the bulb!"

Silver took a closer look. "It’s burned out," he determined.

"Somepony needs to do something about it!" Chrysalis complained.

"Well, it’s not our business,” Silver answered. “Let the maintenance ponies do their work." The duo started walking down the street. But Chrysalis had other plans on mind, and without Fang's approval, she climbed the lamp and opened the window that lead to the bulb, attracting views from random ponies. Silver, realizing that the Queen isn’t in his sight, quickly turned around and found her.

"Twinkle, please get down!” he pleaded the Queen. “You might get hurt!"

"Not until I’ve done what I’d come to do," she replied.

"But you don’t even have a light bulb in your hoof!" he stated.

"Oh, but I'm not planning to replace the light bulb," she replied, confusing the changeling. "If it’s burnt out, then... maybe I can burn it up again!"

"That’s not how it works," Silver tried to explain to Chrysalis, but she didn’t listen. With a quick burst of magic from her horn, the light bulb went back on, leaving the changeling more confused than he was before.

"How in Equestria did that work?" he mumbled to himself.

"I don’t know!" Chrysalis replied, sending chills down Silver's spine.

"You don’t know!?" Fang panicked.

"Don’t worry" Chrysalis replied while smiling "Nothing bad can happen."

"Don’t say that!" Silver replied "Or else it’ll turn into something worse!"

"OH NO!" Chrysalis jumped in horror.

"WHAT HAPPENED!?" Fang jumped in panic

"Oh... nothing just the light bulb burnt out again" she answered

"Next time, please don’t react like that to minor things like this," he explained. This fiasco is going to be the end of me.

"At least that is the worst thing that happened today," Chrysalis announced.

"Don’t say that either!" Silver reminded Chrysalis.

"Why not?" Chrysalis asked confusedly.

"Because..." A huge ground shaking explosion cut Silver mid-sentence "Because of that!"

"Oh... that’s just a small explosion," Chrysalis stated. "It could’ve been worse!"

"Don’t say..." another bigger explosion cut him again mid-sentence "THAT!"

"Oh don’t worry, that’s just a bigger explosion. It could have been..." Silver quickly shut Chrysalis's mouth with a hoof.

"Don’t. Say. That. Again." He took his hoof down.

"...worse!" Chrysalis said, her face going wall-eyed. This scared Silver so much that he jumped under a table for cover.

"See? Nothing bad happened!" Silver peeked from under the table while a crowd of panicked ponies started running all around the streets.

"We better get out of here fast!" Silver suggested. Chrysalis didn’t move a muscle.

"Didn’t you hear me? We need to get out of here!" he repeated himself.

"I heard you, but we need to stop what we had caused." She pointed at the place where the explosion took place a moment ago, now filled with flames.

How it became our fault? Now it’s gonna be only her fault, Silver thought to himself

"Ok, so how do you think we’ll stop it?" Silver asked.

"I have no idea!" Chrysalis answered.

"How about we try that fire hydrant over there?" He pointed at it.

"Good idea!" the Queen’s horn lit up, tearing the fire hydrant from the ground, leaving water to pour all over the street. It became too slippery to walk, further panicking the crowd by making various ponies slide or fall on the ground.

"You weren’t supposed to break it!" Silver explained. "Try that other one." he pointed at another fire hydrant. "But this time, use less force."

"Okay, let me try..." Her horn once again lit up with a greenish aura surrounding the fire hydrant, again ripping it out of the ground.

"That’s not what I meant!" Silver said. His tone demonstrated his annoyance.

"Don’t worry, there are plenty more down the street!" She pointed at the all the fire hydrant down the street. The Queen tore them out, one after the other, until she and Silver got to the last one.

"ENOUGH!" Silver screamed. "Don’t touch the last one!" he pushed away Chrysalis who was right about to do so.

"But I was just going to make it," the Queen sadly said

"No, let me do it this time." Fang walked to the fire hydrant and slowly opened it. Unfortunately the water burst out too, leaving Silver all wet.

"You sure know what to do!" Chrysalis laughed at him. Luckily the water which burst out was enough to put out the fire nearby the fire hydrant.

"Done, happy? Now can we go back to the hive!" the changeling started walking out of the city. However, he bumped into two white armor-clad stallions. These were guards.

"I’m sorry, sirs," the changeling apologized.

"You better be sorry for the mayhem you’ve caused," one of the guards spoke.

"What? No, I didn’t do that!" Silver objected.

"We were here when you broke that fire hydrant, and by the looks of it you did it to the rest," the other stallion explained. "You may be the one who started the fire in the first place!" The changeling remained silent and looked towards the Queen, who wasn’t even paying attention, instead playing in the water filling the streets.

"You will have to fix your mistakes," the first guard said, pushing a mop and a bucket towards Silver. "And don’t even think about running; we will be watching you the whole time." Silver sighed and started cleaning the streets from the water, not realizing that Chrysalis had left.

Sometime later in the castle’s throne room were the two royal sisters and the Queen, still disguised as the alicorn named Rainbow Twinkle Shine. They were having a chat, the Queen having apparently forgotten her hatred towards the princesses. By the look on their faces, they were all having a good time, while Silver had just finished fixing Rainbow's mistakes, and had just realized about her absence. He panicked and went all around the city, searching high and low for her, while she was admiring the castle, escorted by the royal sisters. Where could Her Majesty be? Silver thought to himself I went through every shop, every street, and even the castle, but there’s nothing else but salesponies, other fancy-looking ponies and that odd-looking alicorn with the princesses.

"Wait, WHAT!?" he confusedly said as he stopped. He quickly changed direction, running back towards the castle. I just hope she’s still there.

It didn’t take him long to return to the castle. The royal sisters were having a picnic at the castle’s yard with Chrysalis.

"Your Majesty – ehm, I mean, Rainbow Shine Twinkle –" Silver approached them hesitantly. Was this her name? the changeling thought.

"Oh hi!" Chrysalis greeted. This confused the two royal sisters.

"But we thought thy name was Twinkle Shine Rainbow?" the younger one asked.

"No, it’s Shine Rainbow Twinkle!" the elder one countered.

"Actually, it’s Rainbow Twinkle Shine," Silver stated. He remembered the real name.

"Oh yes, I tend to forget my name," Chrysalis awkwardly smiled

"And you are. . . ?" the older sister asked Silver.

"My name is Cotton Apple, your majesty," the changeling answered, "and I'm here to escort this alicorn here back to her kingdom."

"Her kingdom?" the younger one asked. "Where is her kingdom?"

"Ehh... in the mountain... no! It’s in the sea!" The changeling started sweating, fearing that he had just blown their cover.

"Mountain what?" the younger sister asked. Clearly confused, this stressed the changeling even further, as he looked for another alibi.

"It’s in the sea mountains," Chrysalis announced while smiling. Not the best excuse, but Silver Fang accepted it.

"Yes, yes I meant the sea mountains."

"Never heard of the Sea Mountains," the older sister said. "Is it far away from here?"

"Yes, it’s really, really, really far away,” the changeling explained, “and Her Majesty really needs to go back. Her subjects needs her." Indeed, it was getting late and they had to get back to the hive.

"Oh, if that’s the case, we wouldn’t want to keep your subjects waiting, Mrs. Twinkle," the older sister stated as they walked to the entrance of the city. "We wish you safe path back to your kingdom."

"And take care for her," the younger one quietly said to the changeling with an awkward smile.

"And we hope you can visit us again!" the older sister said, waving goodbye to the two disguised changelings.

"Hopefully they don’t," the younger one quietly said. The older one nodded.

"Bye!" Chrysalis waved back to the royal sisters as Silver and Chrysalis walked their path towards the hive.

"I still don’t get one thing – why didn’t they see through your disguise? Didn’t they use a disguise detection spell?"

"They did," she answered, confusing the changeling.

"Then how come they didn’t detect your disguise?" Silver asked.

"I don’t know,” admitted Chrysalis. “Maybe the perfume I used from your cart blocked it."

"Wait, what perfume? I don’t have any perfume." The changeling sniffed the air around Chrysalis. "Oh... that’s not a perfume, that’s a spell repellent!"

"Good thing you had it then!" Chrysalis smiled. "And I’m glad you came with me."

"Yeah," the changeling said. "Well, let’s get back to the hive – it’s getting late."

"Okay." Chrysalis started hopping down the mountain, followed by Silver.

Chrysalis and Silver, now without their disguises, were laying on a grass field just outside the hive under the beautiful night filled with stars.

"Hey, what’s with the bag?" Silver asked as he had just spotted the bag she was carrying.

"Oh, this?” Chrysalis held it up. “It’s just a portal I made."

"How’d you make a portal, and where does it go?" Silver asked. As if this day could get any more confusing!

"I don’t know how, or where, but I just took a random bag and when I reach into it..." Chrysalis stretched into the bag and took out a slice of cake "...it gives me cake!" She smiled, with drool running down the sides of her mouth.

"Oh! Can I have some?" Silver asked, his face making the same expression.

"Sure thing!" Chrysalis took another piece of cake from the bag and gave it to the changeling.

"Thanks. This cake is truly amazing, I wonder who could’ve made it…."

"SISTER!?" Celestia busted into Luna's room, panicking.

"What is wrong?" Luna asked while trying to calm down her sister

"MY CAKE!” Celestia cried. “IT’S ALL GONE!"

"I know not where it could be,” Luna replied. “Mayhaps next time thou ought to secure it better."

"Wait a second... you ate it, didn’t you?" Celestia accused her sister, her tone going cold.

"Nay, that’s ridiculous! I can’t eat that much cake!"

"Don’t lie to me! Your flank is bigger than before!" Celestia pointed at Luna's flank.

"Nay ’tisn’t, it has always been so large," Luna answered. "Thou might hadst eaten it all, and hadst forgotten so."

"No way, you did."

"Nay, you did," Luna denied the accusation.

Their fight continued the whole night long, while the two changelings had fallen asleep, laying on the grass with bellies full of cake.

Author's Note

I hope you liked it, I would appreciate any kind of feedback and maybe some ideas I could make the next chapter bether.
Thanks in advance :twilightsmile:

Derplogue

The story begins in a changeling hive, populated with several tens of thousands of changelings and, most importantly, their Queen, named Chrysalis.

Queen Chrysalis is a rather odd-looking changeling, taller than the other changelings, but that's normal, since she's one-of-a-kind. She might be the almighty Changeling Queen, but she has her downsides too: due to a curse cast by Star Swirl the Bearded thousands of years ago, she now becomes rather strange from time to time.

She doesn't know how or when it happens, but one of her royal guards knows exactly what is going on. His name is Silver Fang, but to the hive he is known as #21. his name comes from the fact that he has a silver fang, No one knows why exactly he does, but they don't seem to be interested in finding out why for themselves. Besides, why he knows what goes on during that time is because she takes him everywhere she goes. He is still unsure why she chooses him every time that strange acting occurs, but there has to be a reason for it. He is loyal to her majesty, and doesn't want to let her down, so he goes along her side. Of course, it is also a privilege to be chosen by the Queen as her royal escort. But it comes out that escorting her during that time is more like foalsitting.

What a beautiful night it is, the changeling thought to himself, while slightly turning towards the moon. And what a beautiful blue moon.

"Oh... the moon is blue," he surprisingly said. He stood up and went inside the hive "That may only mean that tomorrow is the time."

It was quiet as he roamed around the hive gathering important things for his journey with the Queen. Tomorrow was the day after a blue moon, and after every blue moon the Queen starts acting strangely.

Some time passed, and the changeling was still gathering things for the travel. Where were they traveling he didn't know, but he was sure that they were going to travel somewhere, like they always do when it happens. Silver started feeling very tired, but he had to prepare well because anything can happen while they travel through Equestria. At this time, he was dragging a huge cart filled with various items and, as expected, after hours of gathering, he finally felt weak.

"I have to stay awake," he mumbled to himself as his eyes started closing.

"I just need to get the fang paste..." he said as he fell on the ground.

"I guess I can take a five minute break..." he said quietly as he yawned and closed his eyes.

Author's Note

This is my first time trying comedy so I would appreciate any kind of feedback. Thanks in advance :twilightsmile: