The Android of Equestria

by Demon War God

Rating: teen
Tags: Crossover, Dark, Alternate Universe, Human, Comedy, Adventure
Length: 4669

After being turned to stone for 1,200 years because of a misunderstanding (sorta) I have to save Equestria from evil that comes from other versions of reality with the spirit of Cell in my head giving me a huge headache everyday.

I remember little of my human life except my sister, my name, my favorite anime/anime parody(Dragonball Z and TFS version if I needed a laugh) and the fact I that I was at a highschool party when it happened.
I don't know how I got here or how I get back, but I know 2 things about me and 1 thing I needed to do.
My name is Nathan Mize, and I'm am imperfect Cell and what I must do is to protect this land! As soon as I break free.

Give a shout out and a round of applause to RainbowDashVegetaFan123 for making this awesome cover art!

Warning: poor grammar and spelling

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2016-03-05 14:13:15 UTC

Free from a stone cell with Cell inside my Head

'It's so booooooooring being stuck as a stone statue in a boring garden.' I thought since I couldn't really speak in my stone prison.

'Oh quit complaining, I'm stuck in here to you know.' that other voice was from Cell, the same Cell from Dragonball Z.

'That's because you put my conscious into a deep sleep, and took control of our body to absorb the innocent ponies of this world!' I thought back at him with venom in my tone. Suddenly we heard voices outside our stone prison before Cell could say anything I scream in my head 'Shut up Cell! Someones coming this way!'

Sure enough it was Discord giving three young fillies a tour to my stone prison. "Come on you little fillies. I want to show you something." the three fillies looked at me with general disgust, and one of them looked like she wanted to gag at the sight of my appearance. Then one of them spoke. she was an orange filly with a purple mane. She was also a pegasus in case anyone was wondering. Though I wasn't surprised at what she said, mostly because I got this reaction a lot from just about everyone who ever looked upon me in my stone imprisonment safe for a few exceptions.

"Who and What the Hay is that?! It looks like an ugly bug thing!" She said with disgust quite noticeable in her voice.

"Yeah Discord I'm with Scootaloo on this one, I mean that thing is pretty ugly." agreeing with the one now dubbed Scootaloo. This one was a yellow color filly with red hair, and a bow. However unlike the last one that spoke this one was a regular earth pony and had a southern accent which I found to be a bit cute even though she's basically agreeing with Scootaloo saying I'm an ugly thing which is starting to irritate me just a little. Finally the one who I had mentioned wanted to throw up at my appearance finally spoke after swallowing her lunch back. She was a white unicorn with two colors pink and purple curly mane, and what she said really got my blood boiling.

"Discord, please tell us that there is a reason why you brought us to see a hideous statue like that. Hey Apple Bloom I think calling it ugly was a bit of an understatment." OK I could deal with some things however that was the last straw, but unfortunately I remembered that I was still in my stone cell otherwise I would have chucked them to the moon myself instead of waiting for the Elements of Harmony to do so, or perhaps just blast them to oblivion. Though I knew she was only saying this because she didn't know I could hear her, but thanks to Discord however I didn't have to tell her myself once I got out of this prison of a statue.

"Oh come on Sweetie Belle don't be like, because I brought you guys here because I wanted to show you this statue of Cell!" After that they looked at each other in confusion then looked up at Discord and me.

"Discord, what's so special about this feller?" asked the one called Apple Bloom utterly curious as to why I'm so special as for Discord to show them my stone statue. Then came a barrage of nods from the others agreeing with what Apple Bloom had asked Discord. He in turn answered the little filly's question.

" What's special about Cell is that he fought against Princess Celestia and Luna countless times and illuted capture numerous times, and the only reason Celestia and Luna captured him was by using Cell's pride for battle against him, turning Cell to stone." Discord said to the three now awestruck fillies.

"Wow, this thing did all that." said the the still awestruck fillies admiration.

I mentally forgave the fillies for there unjust insults and wanted to bow for them saying "No need for your compliments." or something like that. Until Discord said to the three fillies "Time we get a move on back to Ponyville." so he, and the three fillies went back to Ponyville leaving me all alone.

'Are you done telling me to shut up or do I need to shut you up permanently.' Cell thought/said to me with anger clearly in his tone. OK all alone except for him continueing to give me a huge headache since we first got imprisoned in our stone statue of a cage.

                                                                                   3 weeks later

After weeks of nothing to do, I'm dying to get out of this stone prison from hell. Then I heard the sounds of my freedom as Tirek was having a battle with Twilight Sparkle for all of the alicorn magic she now possessed, but the battle stopped once I sensed that Tirek had traded her friends for the combined alicorn magic. The trick worked and Tirek got what he wanted. However it was too late because I was now using the energy given off from the battle to attempt to get out. Nothing happened for a few moments, but then a loud *CRACK* came and another. Soon the stone was falling off by the chunks, and I was finally free at last after so long.

My celebration was short lived however when my "headmate" Cell decided to speak to me through thought 'If your quite done with your celebration we have a red and black colored centaur rip off to deal with.' I only nodded at his statement since our hate for Tirek is something we can both agree on without question. So I flew off to go kill our least favorite centaur.

Twilight's P.O.V.

I can't believe that Tirek used my friends to get what he wanted, but I didn't have a choice because it was either my magic or my friends. "YES!!!! NOW ALL OF THE MAGIC IN EQUESTRIA IS MINE TO CONTROL!!!!!!" Tirek roared and was about to crush us all under his hoof until we saw something off in the distance heading right for Tirek.

"Wow, whatever that thing is it's fast!" Rainbow Dash exclaimed which I have to agree that this thing was fast, even faster than Rainbow which is something I'm sure she wouldn't like, and before we knew it the flying creature had stopped to face Tirek. We all got a good look at the creature to see it was a bipedal bug creature with wings, a tail with a sort of stinger on it, and his coloration is green with black spots over it. However the most disturbing part of him was his eyes. They were like a Snake's eyes which were cold and calculating.

Then Discord spoke up, but when he did it was layered with fear "Nnno... It can't be him! He's still supposed to be a stone statue!" I didn't know who this was, but if Discord was afraid of him, then what does that mean for all of Equestria?!

Get F**king Wrecked Tirek

Get F**king Wrecked Tirek

Nathan's aka Cell's P.O.V.

It wasn't really hard to spot Tirek, especially since he's practically the size of a mountain. Even if he wasn't I could easily sense his energy. I have to admit he did get a bit stronger since the last time I saw him though he knows nothing about me. How could I have seen him, well technically I didn't, you see back then, while (DBZ) Cell was in control of our body, he had sensed two powerful beings, at least by this worlds standards any way. When Cell teleported toward the signal he saw a gargoyle and a centaur stealing magic from some other creatures he didn't recognize at the time so he left the two creatures to their own devices with respect, and a bit of hatred for ripping off his style not even bothering to finish them off. However while he left with a respect and hatred for the creatures he later discovered to be known as Tirek and Scorpan I was enraged over what they did. You see I discovered that Cell and I share each others memories so when I first discovered this I reached to see all of his memories and I just happened to find this memory.

Whether or not Cell allowed me to see that memory I'll never know since I can only hear his speech in my head not his actual thoughts, though he could hear my thoughts crystal clear. So I flew off, when I actually got to Tirek in about 10 seconds flat he had already claimed his victory which was pretty stupid considering that he didn't even destroy the 6 ponies who were bearers of the same elements that turns me and Cell to stone and Discord. So I hovered in front of Tirek's face giving him an ominous feeling of danger right in front of him. I heard some chater down were those 6 and Discord were. Then Tirek started to laugh for no apparent reason until he spoke.

"What matter of creature are you! Some sort of bug come to be one of my jesters." Tirek said still laughing. Natural that pissed me off. The fight if you can call it that was basically me wrecking Tirek. It was basically Goku's fight against Nappa with me having to humiliate Tirek almost like how Frieza humiliated Vegeta of course that's just the short version, the long version would be me breaking Tirek's spine, ribs, and left arm. Then I grabbed him by his horns threw him up into the air, and then start to bitch slap repeatedly with my right hand all with a grin on my face. While he was screaming and begging for the mercy that he wouldn't receive.

I then punched him to the ground, though he couldn't move he was still conscious. I then descended to the ground looking at an awe struck audience that consisted of Discord and 6 mares. Finally one of them decided to speak up. She was a purple Alicorn with an even Darker shade of purple with a pink streak that was on her mane. Now that I think about I remembered she was Celestia student or something, though I couldn't recall her name or any of her friend's names for that matter.

"Hello my name is Twilight Sparkle one of the princesses of Equestria and these are my friends Rarity, Fluttershy, Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie, and Applejack. So are you friendly?" I looked at her then at Tirek and then looked back at her with a sinister grin on my face. Discord had a look of pure terror and fear on his face. Since I was very hungry I decided to kill two birds with one stone.

" Let's answer your question with another question." I said with my creepy voice

"What would that question b..." Before she had time to finish her question I yelled

"WANNA TO SEE ME DRINK THIS GUY?!" And stabbed Tirek in the back and started to slowly drink Tirek everything that was in his being except for the magic because I had no use for it since I already have ki while he let out a pain racked scream. After half an hour of most of them puking their guts while I was drinking Tirek. I was finally done and all that was left of Tirek was all the magic he stole. I looked at them and the horror on their faces. Twilight spoke trying with all her might not to throw up again

"Wwwwhy wwwwould yyyyyou dddo sssssomething llllike tttttthat ttto aaanypppony?" She said with fear, disgust, and just all around shock at the fact I drank Tirek. So I answered with a sort of excitement in my voice.

"Well three reasons 1: I have been in a stone statue for about a thousand years and I'm extremely hungry. 2: He was an asshole that deserved to die. And 3: I get stronger every time I absorb someone. Anyway there's all the magic Tirek stole."

She came over to the magical orb to poke it, only to have it shoot up into the sky, and explode sending all the magic Tirek stole to return to its original owners. Then she looked at about to ask another question before I shouted

"SOLAR FLARE!" blinding any one in view to go tempereraly blind so I used Instant Transmission to go to my cave located in the Everfree Forest.

Twilight's P.O.V.

After the flash that temperaraly blinded us we all looked at Discord for answers I spoke

"What is that thing Discord and what do you know about it?" He looked at us and spoke in a serious tone I never heard him use before.

"That was the android know as Cell." That made my spine shiver at the sound of that thing's name, though I don't know why.

I've made a Terrible Mistake. (Edited)

(Nathan's) Cell's P.O.V.

"Alright since a thousand years have passed I might as well get a map and look for a sign to tell me where I am." I said mostly to myself though it was still loud enough for someone to hear. The reason I'm not at my cave was because Cell made the suggestion that we should know were we are in order to understand our situation due to the fact that a lot of things can change in a thousand years or so.

"'And where are we supposed to get a map?'" Cell said in my head. Even though he's annoying he did have a point there. Then as if he spoke of the Devil a map flew right in my face.

"Does this answer you question?" I said with pride in my tone and a shit-eating grin, when he didn't answer I just started walking to the nearest sign that was pointed out on the map. I walked for about a few miles until I came to a sign. "Alright, so South City is to the north, North City is to the west, and East City is... also to the north. WHERE THE FUCK AM I!?" I shouted as I was looking at the map and at the sign clearly confused about where the fuck am I it was then that Cell decided to speak up.

"'Why didn't you call the cities by their real name?"' Cell asked.

"Dude, I'm tired of these GODDAMN HORSE PUNS," I yelled "I'm mean seriously, its like their trying to make everything and I mean EVERYTHING horse pun, so smart ass how would you explain why this goddamn sign is here." I said sarcasm practically oozing from my tone though, I'm not sure if he caught it.

"'Maybe some teenagers made the sign to fool travelers.'" He said this in a matter-of-fact tone, and I could have sworn he was smiling inside my head which I don't know how.

"Well hope they have a replacement for this piece of shit." I spoke as I used a ki blast to sentence the dumb sign to oblivion. So after that episode I decided to go back to my cave only to discover that a dragon made my cave it's personal treasure hideout. At first I asked politely if it could get out of my cave. When he violently refused I used a ki blast to blow off his head, and kept the the treasure which wasn't much just a just small chest full of jewels. My guess is that, that was all he got after taking some gems off his previous hideout because this dragon is one huge bitch, kinda like Celestia."Well at least I've got some food when Tirek is done being digested."

"'You know we could have said that we were friendly because if we did we would have at least gotten a soft mattress and food." Cell spoke.

"On please who needs soft mattresses? I'm sure rocks are just a soft to sleep on." After I spoke I sat down on the ground and laid my back upon the wall. "I've made a terrible mistake."

-3rd P.O.V.

Celestia couldn't believe Twilight and her friends had successfully defeated Tirek. She had been blind not to see that they could do it. However despite this, Twilight sent a message saying that she and her friends wanted to talk to her about something that concerns them so Celestia, Luna, and Cadence had to look serious about their worries no matter how small the problem is. The doors opened to reveal Celestia's student and her friends as well as Discord. When Twilight approaches to speak to Celestia, Celestia greeted "Twilight, you and your friends have defeated Tirek, and have restored both the harmony and magic to Equestria." However her sight was not greeted with the faces of happiness and triumph, but the faces of disgust and horror.

"What is the matter Twilight? Is something wrong?" Celestia spoke with clear concern as to what was troubling them. Just then Twilight spoke with clear fear in her voice as she was recalling the memories of that creature.

"Princ- I mean Celestia. We weren't responsible for the defeat Tirek nor are we the ones to restore the harmony and magic back to Equestria." Twilight said. Luna was quite confused by the statement Twilight had made to her sister, and so she voiced her confusion.

"What do you mean Twilight Sparkle." Luna said.

"A creature called Cell, defeated and " drank" Tirek. While Discord told us that he was an 'android', however he doesn't know what an android is, neither do I, so I was wondering if you knew anything about this Cell." Twilight told them. Celestia and Luna's eyes widened in fear at the name of that monster's name. However they quickly recovered themselves and Celestia spoke with a calm tone, but it held much venom and hatred towards the monster who devoured so many of her little ponies, all for the sake of power.

"That monster known as Cell. Devoured many ponies for the sake of becoming more powerful, all because he wanted to become this 'perfect' being." Celestia said having a made a place of complete and utter hatred in her heart for a monster like him, a place that's only for him after what he's done.

"Pfft, I could take home! I bet I could take him with one arm no problem!" Rainbow Dash exclaimed, but she was met with a serious gaze from Celestia and Luna.

"No Rainbow Dash! This monster will kill you in an instant, if he's feels like it." Luna shouted, making Rainbow's arrogance take a dive down a cliff. It was then that Twilight spoke up about a thought that plagued her mind.

"Celestia, if all Cell wanted was power than why didn't he devour us?" Twilight said. At this Celestia and Luna were confused by the question, all the while Cadence was watching to see how things played out. Celestia had no idea how to answer that question. While Luna looking for some way to answer Twilight's question said the first thing that came to mind.

"Maybe it's some sort of sinister plot, to take revenge, and to tell us that he is in fact free from his stone prison." In thought it sounded pretty smart, but when she said it out loud it sounded way too unbelievable. Discord then decided to chip into the conversation.

"Cell seems different to me, like he's more unpredictable and less logical, I can't explain it but he just seems different." Discord, of all people pointed out. That caught everyone's attention as he started to explain his thoughts on Cell's new actions and personality.

...Meanwhile...

"I'm so booored~." I said while Cell was saying nothing."I mean what am I going to do? It's not like their's anyone to fight that can give me a good challenge." I must be the Devil's friend because as soon as I uttered those words I heard another voice.

"Hello is anyone there?" OK is it me or does he sound a lot like Kibito Kai.

"Yeah your calling to me, so who're you and what do you want." I said with irritation in my voice, 'cause it's bad enough that I have another being in my head, I'd hate to have another one 'cause at that point I'd go insane.

"My name is Kibito Kai-" Oh I fucking called it. "As for what I want, is to make a deal with you." Kibito said.

"Go on." I said mildly interested in what he wants.

"This world isn't ready for the dimensional threat that's coming. I want you to be this worlds protector, and to protect all it's inhabitants." Kibito said.

"Sur-, wait everyone on this planet, including CELESTIA AND LUNA!" I yelled.

"Including Celestia and Luna." Kibito confirmed.

"Fat chance! And what can you offer me?!" I yelled.

"In exchange for protecting the planet. I will restore a fraction of your memory for evey threat you face." Kibito said. That got my attention completely. To have my memory back, that would make me complete to know my history."And I will give a capsule that contains a copy of Vegeta's spaceship with the gravity room." Kibito added.

"DEAL!!!"

God Damnit Nappa part.1 Are We There Yet? NO!!! (side note Raditz is here as well)

(Nathan's) Cell's P.O.V.

"Wait! So you're saying that not only do I have to fight every villain and hero Goku and the other Z fighters have faced and met ever, but their all stronger then when the Z fighters actually fought them?! Not only that, but I have to face a more powerful evil version of the Z fighters!!" I yelled because that sucks complete donkey dick.

"Yes. You will face these more powerful threats." Kibito Kai calmly replied in my head. I swear if Kibito Kai decided to play a joke on me where he's another DBZ character trapped in my head, I would both loose my sanity and I'd feel bad for TFS Piccolo.

"What's so important about saving this world from its destruction?! 'Cause as far as I care this world can go fuck itself in the CORNER!!!!" I shot at him. 'Cause why am I the one who's supposed to defend this world after the whole stone incident. Even if I don't get my memories back from him I can still live with out them.

"Because it's not just you and this planet that's endangered, but the entire fate of this UNIVERSE lies upon your shoulders!" Kibito Kai screamed in my ear. Honestly what's the worst that can happen? I mean seriously if this universe has Goku, Vegeta, Gohan, and the others then shouldn't the "UNIVERSE" be safe?

"Can't you just let Goku, Vegeta, and the others handle it?" I complained.

"No they can't, because the void is making more powerful copies of everyone, meant to fight you! That includes Bojack, Broly, Cooler, King Cold, Hatchiyack, Janemba, Majin Buu, Beerus, Golden Frieza! Do you see where I'm getting at you fool?!" Kibito Kai shouted.

"Oh my shit." I said, dumbfounded at what he said. "Alright fine just give me back a few memories, and then I'll do it." I grudgingly said.

"Very well. However I must warn you that by doing this you will forget all the memories you had of your human life before our call, and they can not be restored until the rest of your memories have returned." He spoke.

"Alright let's get this over with." I sighed. He started the process and let me tell you it's really weird, you know how you see something and in hour later you try to recall the memory, well picture that in reverse. Soon enough I lost all memories pertaining to my human life, though I still know how to speak, but anything else was wiped clean. Memories returning via Kibito Kai is how would you say... FUCKING PAINFUL. It feels like a headache given steroids and constantly punching my brain. I slowly started to remember all the songs I ever listened to and the name of my high school, I also recalled my failed attempts at driving though I can't remember the man or woman who taught me or what I looked like. "Dude! What the heck man! That hurt like fucking hell!

"Sorry about that," he said with an apologetic tone "I haven't done that in a long time and I'm afraid I'm out of practice, but onto more pressing matters." He said.

"I'm listening." I said

"Your first opponents shall appear tomorrow in the afternoon, so I'd take that time to train in your new ship's gravity room to I were you, oh and by the way be sure to make your token for other displaced." He said and I could've sworn their was a smug tone in his voice.

"Alright then, wait are they around the world," I asked "By the way don't you have an ancestor who needs you to suck his wrinkly dick or is it just me?!" I asked in a mocking tone. He mentally hung up on me, probably pissed at mocking him. Well at least he gave me the Ship's capsule before he left.

"Oh well, time to train!" I said as I clicked the button on the capsule, threw it outside and, boom their the beauty was to meet its beast."Alright, let's get to work though I wonder what I should do, wait didn't Kibito mention something about making a token?" I asked though a certain asshole decided to answer that.

'"Yes, I do recall him saying something about 'displaced' and 'token' about a minute ago, though I don't know what the hell he's talking about."' Cell replied.

"Well I don't know about you but I'm going to make my token... A small, greenish yellow, square plate, with my face on it.

"'Don't you think that's a bit narcissistic?'" Cell asked.

"I don't care, besides I can do whatever I want." I said.

'"Why..."' He was saying before I cut him off.

"Fuck you, that's why." I said.

'"Just go train or something, for fucks sake!'" He yelled, I swear pissing him off is the brightest part of my day,

"Well better start my training in the gravity room." I said to myself as I walked in a started to press random buttons until I finally found the controls for the gravity and decided to set it to 100x earth's gravity.

*Not so long ago, in a galaxy not too far away*

"Hey Vegeta, can we go to the equine planet?" A certain annoying saiyan asked as they were flying in pods in the deep reaches of space.

"Nappa if it will shut you up for five minutes, then fine!" Vegeta yelled.

"Don't I get a say in the matter?!" A saiyan that nobody cares about yelled.

"No one cares about what you say Raditz!" Vegeta yelled.

"Hey Vegeta, are we there yet?" Nappa asked.

"No." Vegeta and Raditz said getting extremely annoyed.

"Are we there yet?" Nappa repeated.

"No!" They repeated.

"Are we there yet?" Nappa repeated again

"No!" They repeated their anger evident in their tone.

"Are we there yet?"

"NO!"

....

"Are we there y..."

"NO!!!!!"

*Meanwhile, back in Canterlot*

"So, you're saying that Cell had devoured all these ponies, is changed?" Rainbow asked.

"Well I'm not saying that he's a good guy, but I have to take into account of his new actions." Discord replied.

"Well it doesn't matter," Celestia said with a stern tone "we have to ready the guards for this new threat, Discord, Twilight, and the rest, this has to be the most dangerous thing I will ever ask of you, but can I trust you to defeat Cell?"

"You can count on me prin... I mean Celestia." Twilight said.

"Thank you," she said. 'Cell I will never forgive you for what you have done' Celestia thought.