Arc 2- 7 (Casinos, Griffins & Supersuits [B])

Gilda Grizelda, Equestria’s most powerful crime lord, is sitting in her office behind her large oak desk with the glass door to her patio all the way open to let in the warm, afternoon breeze. The office has a few filing cabinets and a huge safe built into the wall, and it also acts as a bedroom. She has a sofa with a blanket tossed carelessly on it, a  phonogram-radio hybrid, a small fridge filled with beer and snacks, and a freshly polished electric guitar. Gilda also put up posters of her favorite rock bands on the wall and has a bulky telephone on the ground next to her table.

Currently Gilda counting up the bits she received from all those that owed her money. Some had to be coaxed into paying up while others were put down because of their inability to pay. All the bits she had counted so far have been neatly stacked in little towers that vary in sizes, and so far she’s counted ten thousand bits. While she’s counting her change she’s listening to some rock music from her radio.

“Applewood is plastic

But easy on the eyes

The Big Palace is fantastic

But cuts you down to size”

Her phone rings and Gilda ignores it, she wants to finish counting her money.

“They’ll treat you like a doormat

Expecting you to fail”

The phone continues ringing and Gilda sighs irritably and puts on the headset.

“Says across your forehead

Integrity for sale”

Gilda turns off her radio and twirls the phone cord in her freshly manicured talons.

“Who’s this?” Gilda says, being sure to make her annoyance known to the whole world.

“It’s Monte. Did you miss me?” says Monte in a teasing tone on the other end.

She hears him say something to someone, and whoever he’s talking to is quick to says “Buck you!”. To Gilda, it sounded like a very upset and angry mare.

“What do you want, Monte.”

“Well, I just had a nice conversation with a pretty little mare, and she wants to place an order of some of your top notch services. Double order actually.”

Gilda grins and turns around to marvel at the gleaming Canterlot skyline. “Oh really. Is she looking for a cleanup crew?”

“Actually a delivery.”

“A double delivery?”

“Yeah, she wants to take care of the packages herself, though.”

Gilda sighs heavily and runs her talons through her freshly groomed feathers. She hates it when she gets commissions like this. When she hears her door open she turns around sees Winny walk in with a stallion unicorn wearing a nice saddle trailing her. Gilda holds up one talon to let Winny know to hold on a second, and then she turns around to look at the beautiful scenery again.

“Okay, whoever this gal is, you tell them I want to meet them so we can lay down some ground rules. Before we meet, make sure she knows how we do things in my town because from the sounds of it, we’re dealing with a dweeb who’s got something to prove,” says Gilda sternly.

“Oh I wouldn’t go as far as calling her a dweeb, but she definitely has something to prove,” says Monte casually.

“Okay, whatever. We’ll meet on Tuesday at ten after noon at the abandoned train station. Tell her if she’s late there’s no deal. I don’t care if she’s a minute late. And if she brings anyone other than you I will kill her and whoever else she brings and then it’ll be your hide. Got it?”

“Don’t get your pretty plumage gunked up, I got this.”

“You better.” Gilda then hangs up and turns to Winny and the pony she brought in. She immediately recognizes the stallion and she sits back in her seat to start counting her money again. “What do you want this time, Lock?”

Winny steps aside to let Lock go to Gilda. He walks forward and levitates a list consisting of names, pictures, and addresses from his saddle and puts them in front of Gilda. “I am in need of some assistance, Gilda.”

Gilda stops counting and pulls out a pair of reading glasses from her desk and puts them on. After she puts them on she glares at Lock and Winny to make sure they aren’t showing any signs of being amused from her visual handicap. When they remain stoic she drags her talon down the list, looking at each name carefully and when she’s done she looks at Lock.

“If this is a hitlist, you better have won the lottery.”

“No, it’s not a hitlist; these ponies have become problematic with the EIB and their operations and need to be told to stay quiet. The EIB will pay you in the usual manner,” says Lock coolly.

Gilda pushes the list away. “Not my problem.”

“It is since you’re connected with us.”

“Not by choice.”

“Still connected.”

Gilda ruffles her feathers and stands up, and her talons dig into the table, leaving gashes in them, but Lock shows no signs of being intimidated. “Listen here, you son of a bitch, I’m already pulling more than my fair share helping you and your agency clean up your messes. And I don’t have your funding and I already lost a lot of good griffins in Detrot.”

“You have my condolences, but that doesn’t excuse you from your task.”

Gilda sits down and starts counting her money again, but rather than doing that to see how much she has, she’s doing it to keep herself from pouncing on the agent and ripping his throat out. Lock can see her anger plain as day too, given that her predatory eyes are honed in on him and her muscles and talons are flexing and twitching eagerly under her fur and feathers. However, Lock can’t help but smile on the inside at the idea of a griffin with reading glasses is threatening him with her gaze.

“Do you at least know who poisoned my griffins?” asks Gilda in a low growl. “I would like to turn them into a big dinner.”

“No, all we know is that they were poisoned with a fungus of some kind,” says Lock.

Gilda slams her fists down, causing the table to shake and the towers of bits to fall to the ground like jenga towers in an earthquake. “Well that’s just fucking great! What’s the point of this cooperation if I’m doing all the work and losing my guys and your doing whatever the hell you guys do!”

“Take it up with Brisk Wind, I’m just the messenger. As for this list, don’t kill anypony on it, just scare them into not talking.”

Lock turns around to leave, but Gilda calls after him and when he turns around she walks up to him, eyes narrowed and feathers still ruffled. When she’s directly in front of him, she takes off her reading glasses and pokes him in the chest, hard.

“I won’t be doing anything without a tradeoff,” snarls Gilda.

“Amnesty for your services, that’s the tradeoff,” says Lock coolly.

“I won’t be doing anything for you until you get Winny’s group out of the dungeons.”

Lock sighs and looks squarely in her eyes. “Listen here, you work for us, and you being an asset means we have to take care of you. But we have to keep our connection a secret, so that means we will not be releasing any of your griffins. The most we can do for their freedom is deport them back to Altai. However, what we can do is figure out who this masked vigilante is and get them out of the way so they won’t interfere with your business any further.” Lock turns around and walks towards the exit. “Don’t worry, Gilda, we have everything under control, we just need you to play your part.”

Winny looks at Gilda and Gilda motions her to see Lock out. Winny nods and walks away, and when she’s out of the room Gilda slams her door shut. After staring at her door, fuming, for a few seconds, she stomps towards her desk and grabs the list. She looks it over and counts at least two dozen names, one of which is Trixie Lulamoon.

=**********=

Pinkie Pie’s mini-train grinds to a halt outside of a two story building in the shape of a block with tubes of neon lights on its edge with a neon light sign on the front that says: “Klumsy K’s”.  The parking lot is almost completely dead, save for the front row of vehicles used by the staff and half a dozen other vehicles. The building is eerily silent as well. When Pinkie Pie hops out of the vehicle she grabs her saddle, carelessly puts over her back, and upon entering the building she finds that it has a clever mix of techno and contemporary design. While Pinkie Pie waits patiently for a patron she listens to the music being played over the radio. It’s a simple, yet catchy, techno tune.

“Welcome to Klumsy K’s, is it just you this evening?” says an earth pony mare wearing an apron that has “Twilight Twinkle” on her name tag. The waitress has a pale purple coat with a light pink mane and tail that have purple and blue streaks through them, and her cutie mark is a blue gem surrounded by stars. Her appearance and name reminds Pinkie Pie too much of Twilight, but she hides her agitation, not wanting to be rude to the mare because of some genetic coincidence.

“Nope,” says Pinkie Pie while forcing herself to smile at the recolor clone, “I’m actually here for someone.”

“Don’t you mean somepony?”

“He’s an ibex.”

“Oh. Well we haven’t had any ibex’s come in yet.”

“He’ll come, I’m just here early. Can we get a booth in the back, preferably on the top floor.”

“Of course, follow me.” Twinkle grabs a couple of menus and leads Pinkie Pie to the stairs. “So, who’s the lucky ibex?”

Pinkie Pie ignores Twinkle, upsetting the mare slightly, while scanning the near empty building for any signs of trouble. When they get up the stairs she spots Soarin looking out the window, nursing a pie and a mug of cider. It looks like he’s waiting for someone. Twinkle leads Pinkie Pie to the farthest booth and sets the menus in front of her. Pinkie Pie slides in and quietly thanks her while rummaging through her saddle.

“Would you like anything to start off while you wait for your date? Some cider and a small salad perhaps?” asks Twinkle.

“That’ll be great, thanks,” says Pinkie Pie while placing her notebook on the table. “What kind of cider and salad do you have?”

“Well we have Sweet Apple Acres Cider, Double F Cider, Green Bean Cider, and Dr. P’s Cider.”

“I’ll take a Double F.”

“Okay. For salad we have tossed flower salad, Canterlot green salad, fruit salad, and nutty salad.”

“Hmm... I’ll take the Canterlot salad.”

“Okay, I’ll be back in a couple of minutes.”

The waitress leaves and Pinkie Pie quietly flips open her notebook to her Mare-Do-Well design and studies it for a few seconds before her eyes move to Soarin. He’s still staring out the window, occasionally looking away to nibble on his pie and sip his cider. He looks nervous, too, like he’s eagerly waiting for whoever it is to show up, but is also dreading the moment for fear of screwing up something. Pinkie Pie snickers at how cute the scene is and Soarin immediately looks at her, now looking like he’s going to be sick from anxiety. Pinkie Pie is quick to look at her notebook while Soarin stares at her for a couple more seconds before doing a quick wing preen.

A couple of minutes later, the waitress returns and slides Pinkie Pie’s appetizer order in front of her. Pinkie Pie thanks her and after she leaves Pinkie Pie looks at the cider. Its foaming at the top and has the fresh smell of apples and citrus and it has an odd brown color to it. Pinkie Pie sips it and tastes a mix of apples and citrus that leaves an interesting tangy aftertaste on her tongue. Pinkie Pie smiles and takes another gulp to get more of the great flavor. Then she moves on to the Canterlot salad; it’s a mix of flower, grass, carrot shreds, hay bits, and nuts, and even lettuce! Pinkie Pie once again finds herself smiling and digs in. She takes a big bite out of the salad and chews it carefully to see if she likes it. It’s okay, the amount of flavors is hectic on her tongue, but it’s not nasty.

“Ms. Sprinkles I presume,” says a male with a heavy ibex accent.

Pinkie Pie looks away from her salad at an ibex walking towards her with a pressed suit and an expensive saddle strapped to his back. He has gray fur with black hair and a black goatee. Twinkle is also behind him.

“You presume correctly, Ink Well,” says Pinkie Pie. She motions him to have a seat and when he does, she relaxes in her seat. “So, how was the flight from Bernese?”

“Hectic.” He looks at Twinkle. “I’ll have some coffee and apple pie, ma’am.”

“And I’ll have some more of that Canterlot salad.”

The waitress nods and walks away. Pinkie Pie watches her leave and momentarily looks at Soarin again. He’s drumming his hooves on the table and sweating nervously; she can tell by the way his blue coat is shining in the sunlight. It amazes her how he can perform death defying stunts without hesitation, yet when it comes to waiting for someone he looks like he’s about to hurl.

“The zeppelin port security is nothing like Bernese,” says Ink Well, now pulling out a folder. “Ponies here are paranoid, do they honestly think someone will be dumb enough to take down the same vehicle they are flying in?”

“I think our fear is justified. You’ve heard what’s going on here, right?” says Pinkie Pie.

“Yes, it reminds me of what my father said about Equestria when he visited twenty years ago.”

“And what was that?”

“A gilded society cannot last.”

Pinkie Pie raises an eyebrow while the ibex smirks and opens up the folder to show Pinkie Pie a chart. She pulls it over to her while saying: “I think that statement is horribly inaccurate. Equestria is over a thousand years old whereas others were lucky to last six hundred.”

“Ah, you seem to forget that the Altai Empire is almost as old as Equestria.”

“Nine hundred and eighty seven. Equestria is still older and has had only one civil war compared to Altai’s ten.” Pinkie Pie looks up from the chart, which consists of all the materials for her dream suit and costs for each part. She’s not surprised about how much it all costs. “Is this all, or are there hidden fees?”

“Ms. Sprinkles, where I come from it is considered dishonorable to have hidden fees.”

“That doesn’t answer my question.”

“No, there are no hidden fees. All together, this suit you are requesting is three hundred thousand bits. The price includes the labor fee.”

Pinkie Pie traces her hoof down to look at each of the materials and does some quick math. Ink Well’s price is one hundred percent correct, but the problem is that she cannot afford it. However, she knows a certain pony in her custody has a fat inheritance waiting for her.

“I don’t have the money for this, but I will soon enough,” says Pinkie Pie while pushing the folder back to Ink Well.

Ink Well furrows his brow and puts the folder away. “How soon is soon enough, Ms. Sprinkles? Iron Will doesn’t like waiting for things, especially when he doesn’t know how long he has to wait.”

“Three months, four at the most.”

“I see. Well that should give us plenty of time to make the necessary adjustments and do those motivational seminars.”

“I heard they kinda sucked.”

“Well it’s all a matter of opinion. But apparently he believes that it works; he won’t stop talking about some pony named Fluttershy. He claims that she wasn’t satisfied yet he knew the program worked since she stood up to him.” He notices Pinkie Pie smirking and he clears his throat nervously. “Look at me, I can’t seem to stop talking for some reason.”

“Funny, I was told that I didn’t know how to stop talking in my early years.”

“You seem average in terms of conversation, Ms. Sprinkle.”

“Well, what can I say? Ponies change.”

“Indeed.”

Twinkle drops off the food -a full pie for the ibex and a bowl of salad for Pinkie Pie- and both of them thank her, and she leaves after giving them their bill. Pinkie Pie looks at her bill and sees that she owes them twenty bits. Pinkie Pie sighs and drops twenty bits on the table and pushes it to the edge, away from her food. Ink Well does the same thing, but he only drops off fifteen bits.

“Back on subject, are you positive we can only do this in Bernese?” asks Pinkie Pie before taking a nibble out of her salad.

Ink Well swallows a huge piece of his pie and then says: “The materials are easier to obtain in Bernese, and it will be easier to construct what you are requesting without the Equestrian government looking over our shoulders.”

“The Bernese government actually lets you build,” Pinkie Pie looks at the picture in her notebook, “these kind of things.”

Ink Well grins. “Weapons and armor are our specialty, Ms. Sprinkles. Unlike Equestria, Bernese has been fighting for its right to exist since its inception. We may have been conquered by other empires, but we always did what was necessary to regain our freedom.” Then he takes another bite out of his pie and after he finishes eating his mouthful he says: “When you requested me down, me and Iron Will had assumed you already had the money. But since you don’t, how do you plan on obtaining the necessary amount for this order?”

“Trust me, I’ll get it... legally.”

“I see,” he finishes his pie. “Well I guess I will be heading back to my hotel then, Ms. Sprinkles, since we finished what needed to be discussed. I have a seminar to attend anyway. Enjoy your day.”

“You too.”

Ink Well packs up his things and after nodding politely to Pinkie Pie he leaves. It takes Pinkie Pie a couple of minutes to finish her salad, but when she’s done she also leaves, being sure to give Soarin a polite nod on the way out. When she reaches the stairs her Pinkie Sense gives her a little buzz and she barely dodges a pegasus mare galloping up the stairs... a pegasus mare with a cyan coat and a rainbow mane.

“Whoops, sorry about that,” says Rainbow Dash while gracefully dodging Pinkie Pie, tail brushing against her chest.

“It’s okay,” blurts Pinkie Pie, instantly biting her tongue and hurrying down the stairs. She hears Rainbow Dash’s hoofsteps stop and feels the pegaus’s eyes on the back of her head as she quickens her steps.

oooOOOooo

Rainbow Dash watches the minty colored pony speed walk down the stairs. She blinks a couple of times, swearing that pony she bumped into sounded exactly like Pinkie Pie, and she also looked ridiculously similar to her dead friend as well. Rainbow Dash closes her eyes and shakes her head to clear her mind before approaching Soarin. She’s certain Pinkie Pie’s death is screwing with her own mental state now and makes a mental note to talk to a shrink later about seeing dead ponies.

“Snap out of it, Dashie,” mumbles Rainbow Dash. She sits in front of Soarin and looks out the window to watch the mare from the stairs go in her vehicle, which Rainbow Dash admits looks awesome. “Heh, that pony’s got great taste.”

“Who?” asks Soarin while glancing out the window.

“Just some pony with one of those mini-train things.” Then she sees pie crumbs all over his mouth and she smiles teasingly. “First date and you’re digging in without me?”

“Sorry,” says Soarin shamefully while looking down.

oooOOOooo

Pinkie Pie watches Rainbow Dash and Soarin talking and laughing in their booth. A smile flickers across her lips, she’s glad to see genuine, not drug induced, happiness. Soarin must’ve told Rainbow Dash a great joke, because she she leans against the table, laughing hard while Soarin appears to be chuckling. Pinkie Pie swallows some tears when she wishes she could be there, possibly pull a prank. No that would be too mean. She wishes she could be at the Sugar Cube Corner, waiting to hear Rainbow Dash talk about her date with her idol. She then shakes her head to get her mind back on track. She has to convince Celestia to allow Trixie to have her inheritance so she can get that suit. A part of her feels like absolute crap for manipulating everyone, particularly Trixie, but she reasons she has no other option. Equestria is under a threat that most ponies do not see, and she has to stop it. Admittedly she’s not sure what Roar Shock is planning, but that makes it all the more important that she finds and stops him, and given her severely limited resources she has to take every opportunity there is.

Pinkie Pie’s mini-train rumbles to life when she pushes the key in, and with it the radio. She waits a few more seconds to watch the scene before pulling off into the road. She drives in total silence, even her mind is blank. She tries to think of ways to figure out who killed Bon Bon, and she’s fairly certain it was Gilda who ordered the hit, but she wants to find absolute proof so they can apprehend her and have her tried in court for her crimes. But the more she tries to think about proving Gilda ordered the hit, the more she thinks about the good old days, when she and her friends were blissfully ignorant about the dark side of Equestria. Pinkie Pie suddenly grits her teeth and swerves into an alley, making some motorized wagons swerve out of the way and honk, and some of the drivers shout very colorful obscenities. Pinkie Pie drives until she reaches the edge of the alley, eyes swelling with tears, and slams to speed lever down to zero. The vehicle jolts to a stop and Pinkie Pie closes her eyes and rests her head on the steering wheel while whimpering and banging her hoof on the dashboard.

===

“So, if you could date anypony, who would it be?” asked Rarity while shifting her position on a cushion.

Rarity and Pinkie Pie were at Twilight’s house for another one of her sleepovers. She had become addicted to sleepovers, which Pinkie Pie couldn’t blame her since sleepovers were fun and Twilight was constantly under stress from her studies of friendship and whatever else she could get her hooves on. They were waiting for Fluttershy, Rainbow Dash, and Applejack to show up, but they figured they would kill time by playing a game Rarity liked to call “Who Would You Date?”. Pinkie Pie told her that the name was boring and tried to get her to change it to “Who Would You Do Fun Stuff With For the Rest of Your Life?”. That was shot down by both of the unicorns instantaniously.

“Twilight, why don’t you go first?” said Rarity with a teasing smile.

“Wha-Why? You go first,” said Twilight, her purple coat getting a shade of red around her cheeks.

“Ooh, somepony has a secret!” teased Pinkie Pie.

“You have to say it, it’s the rules, darling,” said Rarity while inching closer.

Twilight sighed, and she sweated nervously for a few seconds while her eyes shifted side to side, worried that the someone she’ll mention might hear her secret desire. Then she mumbled a name, but Rarity couldn’t hear what she said, so she leaned closer, straining her ears while Pinkie Pie gasped obnoxiously.

“Oh wow!” said Pinkie Pie, “Does Derpy know you’re eyeing her stallion?”’

“Time Turner? You have a crush on Time Turner!” laughed Rarity. Then she tapped her hooves against the floor while squealing like a little filly. “Oh wow! That is so cute!”

“But he’s married to Derpy, and he prefers Dr. Whooves over Time Turner,” said Twilight quickly. Then she looked down, ashamed. “I feel bad about this crush.”

“Oh relax, darling, everypony has a crush. For example, I would love to date Fancypants, but I can’t since he’s married.” Pinkie Pie laughed and Twilight stared at Rarity, horrified by what she heard, and the fashionista smiled innocently. “What? A mare can dream, can she not?”

“I guess your right,” sighed Twilight. Then her ears perked up and she looked at Pinkie Pie. “What about you, Pinkie?”

“Joe,” replied Pinkie Pie simply.

“Joe?”

“Yeah. You know, Donut Joe. The stallion with all the donuts, knows how to make great filling, bakes great cakes, has an amazing talent of making cities out of pastries. Oh, last week he even invited me to help him make a city out of cupcakes and muffins! We called it Cakeiffintopiaville! It was fun! I had fun! He had fun! We both had fun after that and had fun all week doing fun stuff!”

Before there could be any reply, the door flew open and Applejack wobbled in with a stupid smile on her face, big bags on her eyes and dazed.

“Guess who’s drunk!” she yelled, then she fell over in the doorway, laughing, and making a sickly burp that sounded like she was going to puke.

Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy also fly in while Twilight used her magic to carry the drunk farm pony to the bathroom. Applejack giggled something about the magic tickling her.

“You’re a silly pony, Applejack,” laughed Pinkie Pie.

“So I saw this big ole stall-eon with a-” Applejack’s sentence is cut off when Twilight locked herself inside the bathroom with Applejack.

When the door closed, Rainbow Dash -also looking a bit tipsy- and Fluttershy sat down next to Pinkie Pie and Rarity. Rainbow Dash was about to say something, but when they heard Applejack hurl and Twilight scream in disgust, she fell on her back, laughing hard.

“Oh my goodness, I hope she’s going to be okay,” said Fluttershy with worry.

“AJ will be fine,” said Rainbow Dash as she wiped tears from her eyes. “So what did I miss?”

“Why are you drunk?” asked Rarity rudely.

“Because I can! Pinkie!”

“Yo!” said Pinkie Pie while straightening herself out in a quick, jolting motion; this made Rainbow Dash laugh again.

“Tell Rarity I’m not that drunk.”

“Okie dokie lokie.” Pinkie Pie turned to Rarity. “Hey, Rarity, Dashie isn’t that drunk.”

“Thank you for the update,” said Rarity dryly with a roll of her eyes.

“No problem.”

“Well, Rainbow Dash, since you aren’t ‘that drunk’, would you like to play a game?”

“Is it ‘Spin the Bottle’?” asked Rainbow Dash suspiciously.

“Please don’t let it be spin the bottle,” begged Fluttershy; her pupils shrunk to dots, her ears drooped, and then she hid behind her mane and scooched back, worried that if it was ‘Spin the Bottle’ they would rig it to where everyone kissed her again.

“No, it’s not Spin the Bottle,” assured Rarity. “In fact, I don’t think we’ll even be playing that game this time.”

“Well crap, I brought this bottle for nothing then,” said Pinkie Pie disappointingly while stroking an empty soda bottle in her hooves. She then shrugged and tossed it away, landing perfectly in the garbage can behind her. When she saw the others staring at her she just shrugged. “What?”

“Nothing, dear,” said Rarity before looking at Rainbow Dash. “If you could date anypony, who would it be?”

“Are you seriously asking me that question?” asked Rainbow Dash sharply.

“You have to answer the question, Dashie, it’s the rules,” said Pinkie Pie in feigned sternness. “If it makes you feel any better, Rarity chose Fancypants, Twilight chose Dr. Whooves, and I chose Donut Joe.”

Rainbow Dash snickered and looked at Rarity with a wolfish grin. “Wow, you and Twilight are players. You two better be careful, you might fall into the horny fashionista and naughty librarian stereotypes.”

“Dash, don’t be so vulgar!” snapped Rarity.

“It’s a fantasy dating game, what'd ya  expect? Tea and muffins?”

“I like tea and muffins,” interjected Fluttershy quietly.

“I thought you liked juice boxes?”

“No, I love juice boxes.”

“Does Big Mac love your juice boxes, Ms. Shy?”

Everyone fell silent and stared at Rainbow Dash quizzically as the colorful pegasus snickered and swayed to the side a bit before catching herself. After catching herself she decided to curl up on one of the cushion rather than fight to stay sitting. While Pinkie Pie thought of what that joke was supposed to mean, she swore she heard crickets, and the only thing she could really think of is: FAIL.

“...I don’t get it...” said Fluttershy after an awkward fifteen seconds passed by.

“You don’t get a lot of things,” retorted Rainbow Dash.

“I don’t get it either,” said Rarity while scratching her hoof against the side of her head, “and I’m ashamed to say I’m no stranger to adult humor.”

“My joke is just too awesome for you to understand.”

“Well, Dashie, you’ve avoided the question long enough,” said Pinkie Pie as she wrapped her forehoof around Rainbow Dash’s neck and brought her closer for a hug while making a weird, suggestive smile. Rainbow Dash smiled nervously at her and tried to wiggle away, but earth ponies are very strong, and Pinkie Pie was no exception. Pinkie Pie tightened her hug until both of their bodies are squashed together; she could smell the alcohol in Rainbow Dash’s breath and on her coat. “It’s time for you to start talking, so we can do this the easy and boring way, or we can do this the hard and fun way.” When Rainbow Dash tried to remain vigilant in keeping her secret, Pinkie Pie smiled suggestively and said: “Is it me?”

Rainbow Dash shook her head quickly and started blushing.

“Is it Applejack?”

Rainbow Dash shook her head again and tried harder to break free, but this time Rarity helped Pinkie Pie by holding Rainbow Dash with her magic. Rarity got a devilish smile and sat in front of Rainbow Dash.

“How about me?” asked Rarity.

“Oh hay no!” snapped Rainbow Dash with an angry scowl.

Rarity frowned. “Well that tone was uncalled for.”

“How about Fluttershy?” asked Pinkie Pie.

Fluttershy glared at Pinkie Pie, which admittedly freaked out the pink pony, but Rainbow Dash gulped and shook her head again, and Pinkie Pie continued with her generic interrogating.

“Twilight? Big Mac? Roid Rage? Thunderlane? Redheart? Flim? Flam? Derpy? Cheerliee? Spitfire? Soarin?”

As soon as Pinkie Pie said “Soarin” Rainbow Dash’s wings expanded to their fullest, knocking Pinkie Pie over. Rarity laughed and Fluttershy covered her smile with her hoof.

“Oh I knew it!” exclaimed Rarity, “I knew it! I knew it! I knew it! I knew it! I see you ogling him every time we’re at the Gala! Oh I can’t wait to tell him!”

“No, don’t do that! Why are you guys picking on me!? What about Fluttershy!” cried Rainbow Dash, “Make her tell us-!”

“Big Mac,” the others said in unison, even Fluttershy, although hers was barely audible over the Rarity and Pinkie Pie.

“Ooh, I can’t wait to see you two date!” squealed Rarity joyfully.

“No, I won’t be dating anypony! I’m not the dating type!” said Rainbow Dash as her cheeks flushed bright red.

===

“GET OUT OF THE THINGY!” yells a harsh, male voice.

Pinkie Pie’s eyes snap open and she realizes that she had fallen asleep, and she looks to her side and sees that she forgot to lock her doors as well and now a gang of ponies are trying to steal her vehicle. She spots a large earth pony stallion staring at her, holding the door open, with two mares, a pegasus and a unicorn, standing behind him. The stallion has a sickly green coat with a mohawk dyed orange and is wearing a dark vest of some kind with a skull tattooed on his shoulder. The pegasus has her purple mane tied to a ponytail and has a blue coat while the unicorn has a creamy coat with a light blue mane and tail.

Pinkie Pie sighs, wipes the crust from her eyes and stares at the gang leader. “Are you serious?”

“Does it look like I’m joking?” sneers the stallion.

“Well for a second I thought you were since your trying to hijack a large vehicle in the late afternoon, and no pony in their right mind would wake up somepony they are stealing from. Also, ‘thingy’ ? If you don’t know what this beautiful machine is, why are you trying to steal it?”

“We aren’t trying to steal it we are stealing it!”

“Oh,” says Pinkie Pie like it was a casual misunderstanding, even yawning at stretching herself out a bit, “well if that’s the case I better get out, then.”

Pinkie Pie is a little clumsy when she gets out, and the three ponies take a step back, but the three hijackers are quick to find out that she was messing with them. As soon all four hooves are on the ground, she strikes the unicorn at the base of her horn, making her scream in pain and collapse to the ground, pressing her hooves against her horn. Then she bucks the pegasus in the jaw, causing her to flip end over end and land on her face on the pavement. After doing that, she slams the stallion’s head against the cart and he crumbles to the ground. All this taking no more than five seconds. When Pinkie Pie hears the team leader moan, she pushes him on his back so that she’s looking down at him. His mouth is bleeding, probably from a few loose teeth, and he starts shaking as he looks up at Pinkie Pie.

“Please don’t hurt me!” cries the stallion while putting his forehooves together.

“Stay there,” orders Pinkie Pie. The stallion nods his head quickly and Pinkie Pie approaches the unicorn, who is now trying to stand up, and she knocks her out; after doing that she walks back to the stallion. “Now, what is your name?”

“A-Arbor,” stammers the pony.

“Arbor, I want you to listen very, very, very closely,” says Pinkie Pie. “I want you to go home, with your friends there, and I want you three to reflect what happened today, got it?”

Arbor nods and Pinkie Pie also nods her head, smiling. Arbor also smiles and they both start chuckling, Pinkie Pie has a quiet chuckle while Arbor is forcing himself to follow suit.

“You got it?” repeats Pinkie Pie, smiling.

“Yeah, yeah, I got,” says Arbor, forcing himself to smile.

“Good. I also want all the bits you guys are carrying.”

“What?”

“And your vest.”

“What!”

Pinkie Pie’s eyes narrow and that is enough for him to scramble to his feet and collect all the money that his little gang had and he gives it, and his vest, to Pinkie Pie. After confiscating the bits and the vest she hops back in her vehicle and waves bye to them while driving off to her apartment to do some much needed research on Bon Bon’s murder. Along the way, she give a homeless pony all the bits and the vest.

++++++++++

Dear Princess Celestia,

As you know, ‘Operation: Balefire’ was a success; it was a hard fought victory, but a victory nonetheless. We estimate that we had eliminated 90+% of their fighting force and are currently tracking down the rest in the unpopulated areas while Director Brisk Wind is investigating the populated areas for more of said terrorists. However, records show that two major figureheads are still alive and currently on the run. The first being their leader, Roar Shock, and the second being one of his Lieutenants, Adanz; I have attached detailed profiles of both of the terrorist leaders to this letter. We are currently working through the testimonies of the soldiers that participated in the operation and captured enemy combatants as well as cross referencing fallen enemy combatants to clarify if, in fact, Adanz is alive. However, the evidence pointing towards Roar Shock’s survival is overwhelming and I strongly believe that he fully intends to carry out his original plans against the Solar Empire of Equestria. All government agencies need to be open towards one another if we are to contain and eliminate this threat as quickly as possible.

Also, after the successful assault on the League of Justice’s headquarters we discovered technology that surpass ours by decades, possibly a century. We have sent their vehicles and weapons to the Ironhide Weapons Facility in Haven for further testing. What we have discovered will revolutionize technology if we are able to reverse engineer what they constructed. I am recommending that you put more funding into the Research and Development Department for such a task.

And my request for a full investigation of the Equestrian Investigation Bureau still stands. Director Brisk Wind has been more open in releasing some of the requested files, however I’m very certain that she manipulated the copies in some way and is keeping the originals stored. As Captain of the Royal Guard it is my responsibility to protect Equestria from threats, both foreign and domestic, and I sincerely believe that the EIB is in violation of multiple, basic pony rights, and therefore, poses a threat. Again, I have listed grievances against said department and Director Brisk Wind to the letter, and this time I am requesting you actually read it instead of dismissing it as “paranoia”. The bolded grievances are the ones I witnessed firsthoof while the others are testimonies given to me by agents of the EIB and other witnesses (names will not be disclosed for safety purposes).

Thank you for your time.

Sincerely,

Cpt. Shining Armor Sparkle

++++++++++

Shining Armor’s ear twitches when he hears a soft melody seep into the room, and when his brain registers how sweet the music is, a smile stretches across his face and he shifts his position under his silky blanket bringing his fluffy pillow closer to him for a loving hug. Then his eyes open and he stares at the lavender pillow and swore for a moment that he was hugging his sister, but after the momentary panic attack ceases he pokes his head up and squints at the beams of sunlight poking through the curtains of his room. However, despite the comfortable bed and soft blanket, he still can’t get over the fact that there is a pillow that has the same color scheme as Twilight. He doesn’t even remember Cadence buying the pillow, and he knows he would never buy a purple pillow. If he’d buy any pillows they would be blue, or white with a blue pillowcase.

Shining Armor decides it’s best not to think of the pillow, so he stretches himself out and carefully climbs out of the bed, making sure his bandaged hoof is the last to land on the carpeted floor, which he realizes is different. Last he checked, the carpet was red with little trails of white going around the floor to make intricate cubes things. Now it is green. Nothing more, nothing less. It is plain green, and frankly, he thinks it looks ugly.

The stallion sighs and looks at himself in the mirror propped up on a dresser that is not his. He doesn’t even care that his mane looks like a manticore licked it or that his eyes have sickly bags under them. He wants to know who’s house he’s in and why he’s not in his house! Shining Armor glares at the radio next to the bed, the smooth music now pissing him off, and uses his magic to shut it off. He swears under his breath and rubs his horn when a small tinge of pain makes its unwelcomed appearance at where his horn was nearly snapped off. After his pain subsides he limps out of the room and sees... his living room.

Shining Armor looks back in the mysterious room and then back at the living room, completely confused as to what is going on. Everything is where it should be. There is the large oil painting of his parents, him, Cadence, and Twilight over the fireplace. Photos of him and Cadence over the years. The expensive furniture is exactly where they were placed when they were brought in, and even their expensive radio-phonograph hybrid is looking as good as when they first bought it.

“...Guards are still searching for any leads regarding the masked unicorn who played a major role in the murder of local shop owner, Bon Bon,” says the mare radio host in a Canterlot accent.

Shining Armor ignores the radio and limps towards the kitchen with every intention of finding Cadence and asking her why he was in a room he’s never seen before. Upon entering the kitchen, Shining Armor is once again blindsided. His sister is sitting at the dining room table with Cadence, and both of them are talking quietly while drinking some kind of tea with a fresh pot of coffee simmering on the back counter. The smell of coffee is enough to jolt Shining Armor awake, even his ears perk up from hearing the wondrous sounds of the machine working its magic.

Twilight is the first to see Shining Armor staring at them, and she beams, gallops towards him and hugs him, careful not to touch his injured hoof. “Shining, I’m glad you’re awake!”

Shining Armor smiles and returns the hug. “Jeez, you make it sound like I was in a coma.”

Twilight giggles and leads him to the table, but when he tries to go for the coffee, she forces him to sit down using her magic and grabs the coffee for him. Shining Armor sighs heavily and looks down, feeling worthless. Cadence sees the uneasiness in his expression and moves next to him and hugs him with her wing, he smiles at her while Twilight puts the cup of coffee in front of him. The smell of coffee and the fluffy feathers rubbing against his back are enough to make him at ease. He closes his eyes and his stiff body feels like it melts as he slouches over from the great feelings he’s getting. He completely forgets about the odd room and all the troubles for the time being; it is just him, his beautiful wife, and his amazing sister, and, of course, his coffee.

“Did you sleep well?” asks Cadence, leaning over to see if she can look into his eyes.

Shining Armor smiles and looks at his wife. “It was good.” Then his smile turns into a curious frown. “But can you explain why I was in a room I’ve never seen before?”

“Oh, that was me,” says Twilight with a nervous smile. “I arrived at Canterlot early this morning to see Rarity and Celestia, and you as well. With all the stuff going on I figured you’d be in your office and I was right. But you were sleeping and your assistants told me you’ve been there for almost the entire week, only leaving for lunch. So I called a cab and brought you home before I went to see the others.”

“And the room?”

“Like that when I dropped you on the bed. Cadence told me she wanted to test the bed so we decided it should be you to hold that honor.”

Shining Armor looks at Cadence, who was smirking. “Okay, Cadence, now can you explain why we have a new room with horrible carpet?”

Cadence sighs in mock annoyance. “Oh Shining, I can’t believe how dense you can be at times.”

“And how dense was I this time?”

“Actually, I can’t really blame you this time. You’d been working so hard and you’re barely home as it is. But then again, this is a whole room we’re talking about.”

“Cadence...”

“That room was the study, but we never used it so I turned it into a guest bedroom. How was the bed, by the way? I special ordered it from the Smoky Mountain Mattress Company.”

“It was comfortable.”

Shining Armor sips some coffee and immediately regrets it. He doesn’t know which one of the two mares in front of him did it, but they somehow managed to ruin a cup of coffee beyond salvation. He even feels slightly poisoned by it! And when he forces himself to swallow it he gets the urge to cry for allowing something so foul into his system, but neither Twilight or Cadence seem to notice his disgust. Either that, or they just don’t care. Then he looks at the miniature grandfather clock hanging on the wall... it says it’s three hours after noon. His eyes grow to the size of saucers and the irritancy of waking up in a strange room and having bad coffee completely flies out the window and is instantly replaced with panic.

“I’M LATE!” yells Shining Armor frantically while slamming his forehooves on the table with enough force to shake the table to stand up. Needless to say that was the worst call he made regarding his physical health in a while. He swears even louder and slumps in his seat while rubbing his damaged hoof with his good hoof. He also closes his eyes, bows his head, and bites his lip to keep the tears at bay.

Twilight and Cadence cringe and Twilight immediately wraps his hoof in a some kind of magical purple blob thing that numbs the pain while Cadence rubs his shoulder. He doesn’t want to look at them, though, despite their kindness; he just feels too stupid right now. First, he completely misses out on a room redecoration, and now he probably just added a fresh crack to his bone.

“Relax, Shining, I told Celestia that you need some time off and she gladly gave you a week,” says Cadence in her best soothing voice, which admittedly makes Shining Armor relax a little.

“We should call a doctor, though, to see if you hurt yourself,” says Twilight, controlling the blob so it massages his hoof.

“I did hurt myself,” says Shining Armor dryly.

“You know what I mean.”

“Can’t you just use one of your seventy-ish spells to fix this?”

“I may be the Element of Magic, but I would feel more comfortable if somepony who’s actually trained in medical magic came by to check up on you.”

“I’ll call Dr. Oath,” says Cadence eagerly.

Shining Armor groans and when Cadence is out of the room he slumps towards the table and reluctantly drinks whatever coffee wasn’t spilt. Thankfully it wasn’t much, which gave him a reason to push the cup away. However, now there is a huge mess on the table, like a pool and streak of blood leading up to a victim; only the blood is coffee and the victim is a cup of coffee that deserved death.

A couple of seconds later, the silence between Shining Armor and Twilight becomes awkward, leading to Twilight looking away and Shining Armor to look at the blob covering his hoof. As good as it feels, it’s also a bit unsettling since it reminds him of an alien he read in a science fiction book when he was living in the barracks.

“So...” begins Shining Armor, Twilight looks up and he gives her a warm smile, “how is it Ponyville? Are things getting better?”

Twilight sighs and looks at the floor, visibly upset. “No,” she says glumly, “we’re still trying to fix the damage done from Trixie’s rampage, and Applejack is being stubborn as a mule.”

Shining Armor’s smile fades away. “What do you mean?”

“Well, after Celestia signed the Equestrian Farm Enhancement Act Applejack flipped her lid. She’s refusing work on ‘Government Acres’ and is even getting the civilians riled up.”

“‘Government Acres’?”

“Yeah, that’s what she’s calling Sweet Apple Acres now that it’s in control of the state. I’m glad that Celestia sent in more Royal Guards, though, because after EFEA was signed the Local Guards created a blockade to prevent the agents from reworking the farm for the better. Thankfully the Royal Guards were able to clear them away before anypony got hurt.”

“The Royal Guards were involved?”

“Well, yeah... you didn’t know?”

“No, I wasn’t told about this or what had happened at Ponyville,” says Shining Armor, his vein throbbing and face turning red from anger by what he had just heard. He’s supposed to be getting news of everything regarding the Royal Guards, especially if the news is about troop movements and potential clash with Local Guards. If they did clash with the locals, he can’t even begin to imagine how he would try to justify it how or why it happened since he would not have known anything about it.

“I thought you knew, they are your ponies after all,” says Twilight, her ears drooping slightly at the news that her brother didn’t know what his soldiers were doing.

“Well, I know what me and Celestia will be talking about today,” grumbles Shining Armor.

“But the Princess-”

“I know what the Princess said, Twilight, but this is unacceptable. The Royal Guards are my responsibility as well as your protection. If what you said is true, then I cannot afford to take any chances and if I have to chew out a goddess for using my soldiers without my knowledge then so be it. Is there anything else I should know about Ponyville.”

“But you need your rest, you’re going to work yourself to death!”

Shining Armor’s eyes narrow and he leans forward while Twilight shrinks back a bit. “Twilight, is there anything else I should know about Ponyville?”

Twilight is silent, but her uneasiness is plain as day, given by how much she’s sweating and fidgeting in her spot. Shining Armor continues to stare at her, and he can hear Cadence talking to someone over the phone; he can’t hear exactly what she’s saying, due to her voice being muffled, but he can tell by her tone that she’s almost done. He really needs Twilight to answer the question.

“Twi-”

“Princess Celestia requested that I allow an Equestrian Investigation Bureau hub to be built in Ponyville,” says Twilight quickly. The news makes Shining Armor’s eyes widen and his body tingle with uneasiness. “She also requested that I have a Civilian Defense Agency hub built there as well.”

This time Shining Armor’s coat becomes even more pale and his jaw drops. He can’t believe what he’s hearing! Celestia knows how he feels about the EIB and he’s already fought tooth and hoof to convince Celestia that CDA is tyrannical. She obviously did not take his warnings seriously, and now he doubts she’ll take his recent letter seriously.

“I accepted both requests...” says Twilight meekly.

“You did what!” yells Shining Armor, completely horrified by what Twilight said.

“Shining, with their presence Ponyville will be safer-”

“No they won’t!”

“And Celestia promised more funding will go to the repairs if I allowed them in.”

“Twilight, I can’t believe you!”

“It’s not like I have much choice! Everything is falling apart and you and I both know that we must make sacrifices to keep Equestria safe!”

“The ponies you are allowing in will not make make anypony safer! They are more dangerous than any crime ring or terrorist network! And if Applejack is getting civilians riled up over a farm takeover how do you think they will react when they find out that they are being spied on?”

Twilight doesn’t respond, so Shining Armor leaves the dining room, and Twilight’s ears perk up and she walks after him. “Where are you going?”

“My room.”

Shining Armor stomps to his room with a fire in his eyes and slams the door shut. Then he goes to his dresser and pulls out a sheet of paper and a quill pen with his magic. He ignores the pain in his horn as he furiously scribbles a simple note, and when he’s done he slams the pen down and reads it over and prays that Brisk Wind will understand his message.

Director Brisk Wind,

Stay away from my sister. This is your only warning.

-Shining Armor