Humanity's philosophy

by Blindeye

Rating: teen
Tags: Other, Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Dark, Alternate Universe, Human
Length: 1980

Anon gets the opportunity to talk with Pinkie Pie about existence.

This is a sequel (kind of a prequel-sequel) to made me realize.

After two years of being in Equestria, Anon finally gets tired of Pinkie's little parties. Having enough of the pink menace, he decides to try a different style to get rid of the unceasing pony.

So, what better way to do it with a little complexity of human minds?

Warning: The story contains swearing(not much), theories of existence, and Anon the human.

Published 2015-07-17 22:10:01 UTC
Last updated 2015-07-17 22:10:01 UTC

Destiny...

It was already midnight when Anon was sitting on the top of the tower’s castle.

He was enjoying the sight for the bright moon, accompanied with the sparkling stars that were thoroughly positioned by Luna’s magic, with a chilling, cold breeze.

It was relaxing, enough to make him lie down onto the crystal surface of the tower, closing his eyes as he placed both of his hands in the back of his head. It was harsh for his body, but he was used to it since this wasn’t the first time he tried to avoid Pinkie’s little parties.

The castle was filled up with balloons and a bunch of ponies that he didn’t meet before, well, except for the three princesses that were, if not forcefully, gathered up by Pinkie to celebrate Anon’s arrival in Equestria. At first, he thought it was cute from her to throw him parties to cheer him up, but after the 135th party, it got annoying as hell.

And so, there he was, trying to chill out a bit, waiting for the party to come to an end. He knew that the princesses were aware of his position, but they understood what he’s been through during this past two years.

But that didn’t mean that her friends would.

Feeling a stronger breeze in the face, Anon twitched his left ear, aware that he wasn’t alone anymore. He smiled. “Hello, Rainbow Dash.” He said without opening his eyes. “What brings you to my little hiding spot?”

“How did you know it was me?” She asked, landing onto the tower to sit down beside him.

“Lucky guess.” He answered, stretching his arms and his legs with a yawn. “But I must say, your flying skills have improved since the last time we`ve met. I can say the Wonderbolts are doing really great with you there.”

“I know right?” Humble as always, Rainbow Dash. “I mean, it’s been a year since I’ve seen you and the girls.” She sighed. “Being part of the Wonderbolts does keep you busy.”

“You could have at least written a letter, you now.” He retorted, opening his eyes and taking a sitting position. “The girls do miss you, Rainbow, and I know this is what you have dreamed for since you were a filly, but don’t forget the ones that have been there for you before.”

“It’s not that I don’t want to!” She said with a little hint of anger in her tone. “It’s… complicated, okay? I don’t even know where to begin…” She looked down.

“You don’t need to tell me now, Dash. I know how complicated is for you to express feelings among the ponies. “He placed his hand onto her shoulder. “I’m not going to force you, but hopefully you will tell me when the time comes up. Besides, you girls have been friends for who-knows-how-long, so you can say that this, compared to all the things you all have been through, is nothing.”

She tilted her head to look up at him with a smile. “Thanks, Anon. I needed that. Hey! I didn’t have the opportunity to ask. How’s it going with the research? I know both of you, eggheads, have been reading a lot about the subject.”

He sighed. “Still not looking good.” He stated, placing down his hand to the cold, crystal surface. “Twilight doesn’t have the time, nor the resources to help me out anymore, and I kind of lost hope the last year.”

Rainbow Dash didn’t say anything, instead, she placed her hoof onto his shoulder, nodding at him with a serious face, trying to tell him not to give up. He simply chuckled. It is futile, after all. He thought.

“Oh, I almost forgot! Pinkie is looking up to you, dude.”

“How do you know that?” He asked confused.

“She is already here.” Without waiting for a response, Pinkie Pie popped up her head from Anon’s shirt.

“Ohhh, how did you I was here, Dashy?! “ She asked. Anon just looked at Rainbow Dash, with a face of `How the fuck did you know that?’.

“Lucky guess.” She said mockingly. “I will see you guys around.” She waved a hoof, and without waiting any response, she flew away, leaving him alone with the little pink menace.

“Would you kindly get out of my shirt?” He asked, starting to feel the heat inside of him.

“I don’t know! It’s comfy and, kind of fuzzy inside here.”

“Just get out.” He said deadpanned.

“You are no fun sometimes!” She replied, jumping out of his shirt, landing at his right side.

“Care to tell me what are you doing here?” I’m not even gonna ask about how you got inside of my cloth.

“Don’t play dumb with me, mister! You have been avoiding your party! I even brought the princesses here as a surprise, well, less Cadance. She was busy attending another party in her kingdom.”

He sighed. “Pinkie, it’s been a hundred and thirty five times you’ve tried to pull me into one of your parties. Don’t you think it is time to give up?” He said, hopping that she would finally take the message.

It failed. “Silly Anon. You are just being stubborn, that’s all! Besides, the 136th is the charm, don’t you think so?!” She stated cheerfully, bouncing onto the crystal surface without falling down. Still not asking.

He growled. He wanted to say her to fuck off and leave him alone for once, but he knew how ponies were. Hell, even Celestia almost banned him to the moon for swearing in front of her sister. Luna wasn’t complaining at all, in fact, she laughed!

Fucking ponies, man. He thought. Maybe another way to approach to her would be wise, that’s all I have, I hope. “I guess it is time to tell you a story of mines, Pinkie. What humanity thinks about life.” Not everyone of course, but she doesn't need to know that.

“But I thought you had no more stories to tell us, Anny!” She yelped. “Where is the popcorn when you need it??” She moved her hoof into her mane, revealing a popcorn can once she took it off. “Want some?”

Okay, what the fuck? “Uhm, no thanks.” He said, waving a hand. “Have I ever told you how I got here? I mean, teleported out from my planet home?”

“Of course you did, Anny!” She replied, taking a bunch of popcorns and stuffing it into her mouth. “Yu saihd sommthing abot a rock and phstpspspksa and ph....”

He couldn’t understand what she said at last, so he just dismissed it. “Right. After the incident, I was finally aware of what really happened to me, and why I was here.” He paused for a moment, to see if she was going to ask something to him. She didn’t, instead, she just swallowed what was rest of food into her mouth, and so he continued. “It wasn’t coincidence, Pinkie. Destiny always wanted me to be here for reasons, reasons that I’m still not able to understand.” He looked up at the moon. “That’s why I am here for, to fulfill the whim of something more powerful, to play a game. I’m just a mere piece of a giant chess table, unable to move by myself.”

“So, what you are saying is that we don’t choose our destiny, but destiny chose us?” He nodded. “That’s not true, Anny! Everyone knows that you can pick your destiny! My cutie mark proves you wrong!” She said, throwing down the popcorn can to point out her flank.

“On the contrary, Pinkie.” He stated, pointing out at her flank. “That proves that I am right. Tell me, have you ever tried something else aside from party stuff?”

“Uhm… Well…” She was cut off by him.

“What I mean is, have you done something as good as you do with the parties you make?” She slowly shook her head in denial. “That’s what I thought, Pinkie. And you know why that is? Because of your cutie mark. You are bound to do that for the rest of your life, and you would never change that. No matter what you do, no matter what you think of it. Life, destiny, or whatever you want me to call it wanted you to be that, and nothing more.”

She was speechless. She wanted to reply with something but with no words coming out from her mouth. She knew he was right. She had studied that back when she was a filly. Ponies are bound to do what the cutie marks says to. She never thought of that. So, everything she did was a lie? The parties, friends, the smiles?

“B-but, what about the princesses? They can do every kind of magic… yes! They can do everything they want!” She said, hoping that the answer would be good enough for him.

He shook his head. “Sort of, Pinkie Pie. The princesses are alicorns, immortal beings that can never die, at least not naturally. Their curse is their life, at least for princess Celestia and Luna, but soon or late, Twilight and Cadance will discover the true meaning of immortality. Luna and Celestia told me everything. They hate being alive for so much time. Three thousand years of pain, suffering, sadness. And the worst part is that, after so many centuries, they are not allowed to die. If they do, then this world is over. Who will control the moon or the sun? Who will protect the little ponies from the grasps of their enemies, and future ones? Who will guide the poor minded politics without their princesses? Slowly, this world would be death without their assistance. They didn’t pick their own destiny, Pinkie. They are bound to live forever alongside their subjects, or die with this world as well as them. And that’s when I introduce both of us and our purpose. I didn’t pick the option to be instantly teleported out from home, I never asked for a different life aside of a treasure hunter. I never wanted to leave my family, to make them think that I am death. To know that I don’t have the capabilities nor the power to go back to where I belong. And you, a little pony that was purposely made up to make ponies laugh, to make them happy, but nothing more. We both don’t have the ability to change our lives, only the most powerful entities have little access on their lives, but at a great cost. So, well, what do you think?” He finally said, looking down at her to see what was her reaction. Oh…

It was too much for Pinkie to swallow. She couldn’t take it anymore, her tears were dripping down from her face, incapable of retort such logic.

“Hey, Anon.” A voice was heard from the distance, which made Anon to look at the source of the sound. It was Rainbow Dash. Oh, thank god, maybe she will sort things out with her. He thought. But, after turning around to see Pinkie, he then noticed that she wasn’t there anymore. “I brought you some food, since you haven’t eaten for a while, and- Hey, where did Pinkie go?”

He was asking the same thing in his head, but unable to comprehend what happened, or how she did that in less than 4 seconds. I’m sure she will be fine by tomorrow. You know, Pinkie being Pinkie. Crazy pony. He thought. “I don’t know, oh well. Yo, Rainbow! Wanna hear a story about existence?”

Author's Note

Hope you guys enjoyed my fic. Hopefully, this will answer most of the questions I left in the first fic.

And, as always, criticisms are always welcome here, as long as they are respectful and point out what i did wrong this time around.

Until then, peace.