“So… what do you think it is?” I ask my buddy, as we stared at the mysterious package that arrived in the mail.
“Not a freaking clue. I say we shake it, see if it makes a noise.”
I held it to my ear, and shook it, before listening. “Yep, probably a bomb or something.” I said with a smile.
“Well, let’s open it and find out, then. Seriously, Smitty, think.”
“But there could be anthrax in it. Or some kind of communist disease.” I told my friend. “I don’t want to be a communist.” I continued with a shiver.
“Seriously?” My friend deadpanned. “Dude, don’t be stupid. I don’t think any disease on Earth would EVER do that to you.”
I laughed a little at the idea of something so absurd. “You’re right. Let’s just open this.” I said as I put the box down on a nearby table, and went to grab a knife from the kitchen. When I came back, I grabbed the box with one hand, and used the knife to cut through the tape on the top. When I was done, I put the knife down, and slowly opened the flaps of the box, only to blink in surprise at what I saw. “What the?”
“... Did you order Legos again?” My buddy said as he peered over my shoulder to look inside the box. “Seriously, it’s like every other time I see you, you have a box of Legos or you want to play a Lego video game.”
I shook my head as I pulled out the box within the box, and looked over it. “I didn’t order any Legos at all. Besides, this box says ‘Lego Dimensions’ on it, but that game doesn’t come out for almost another month.” I carefully opened one of the sides of the box, and the bags holding the pieces of Legos required to build the portal for the game slid out and fell onto the table.
“Well, that’s a little, strange. Eh, gives us something to do.”
We spent the next five minutes quickly building the thing, and following the instructions that came with it. When we were done, we stood back and admired our work. “Looks like it’s done, but did it come with the game? Or even Lego minifigures for Gandalf, Batman, or even Wyldstyle?”
“Uh, it came with these ones.” My buddy said as he held up a minifigure that looked strangely like himself with a label on the package reading “Richard”. “Weird. Hey, there’s one here that looks like you, too.”
I quickly grabbed the package labeled ‘Smitty’ and looked it over. Shockingly enough, it looked exactly like how I do now. Down to the last piece of clothing I was wearing, and even my fake foot, which I lost in a freak accident involving peanut butter. “This is really weird.” I gently tore open the small package, and pulled out the minifigure. “Why would someone make Lego minifigures that looks exactly like us, down to the last details?”
“Hell if I know.” Richard said. “I’m only wondering if they work, ‘cause if they don’t, we’ll have nothing to do, and I’ll go home.”
Sharing a quick look, we both grabbed our strange Lego minifigures, and put them down on the separate parts of the Lego ‘portal.’ Suddenly, the portal started glowing a bright blue, and I felt a strange pulling feeling around my entire body, before feeling myself being pulled through the portal. As I was going through the strange wormhole, I felt my senses leave me, as my body burned in pain, and I screamed, before passing out.
“Ugh.” I groan, as I try to push myself up, and I look around, and notice I’m in a forest. “Where am I?” But the strangest thing was how everything looked like it was made of Legos. “Richard?!” I yelled out, looking around for my friend.
“Keep it down, I’m trying to sleep.” Came the groan of my friend from right behind me.
I turn to face where the voice came from, only to jump back in surprise. Laying on the ground was what appeared to be a giant Lego minifigure that looked identical to my friend. “GAH!” I yelled in shock, as I tripped over a small rock, and landed on my bottom. At this point, I notice my hands, as I try to get myself up. Instead of normal hands, I had yellow… yellow… it looked like my hands were stuck in a position that would mostly be suitable for carrying a cup. “What the hell!”
“I told you to stop-” Richard said as he woke up, apparently just now realizing the same thing I did. “WHY THE FUCK ARE WE MADE OF LEGO?!”
“I DON’T KNOW!”
“WHY ARE WE STILL SHOUTING?!”
“BECAUSE WE’RE BOTH DRAGONBORN!”
“NO WE’RE NOT! OTHERWISE SAYING FUS RO DAH WOULD WORK!”
“WELL DO YOU HAVE ANY DRAGON SOULS?! YOU NEED BOTH DRAGON SOULS AND YOU HAD TO FIND THE WORD WALL BEFORE YOU CAN USE A THU’UM!” I replied, unable to resist mentioning that fact.
“CAN YOU STOP BEING RIDICULOUS?! I DON’T WANT A LAWSUIT FROM BETHESDA!” Richard yelled, pointing out the fact that I just about forgot.
With another smile, I replied in a calmer voice. “War. War never changes.”
“... This isn’t Fallout, either.” Richard said. “Though, I would have LOVED to have turned into Liberty Prime.”
“Oh like that isn’t a reference to something.” I said with a roll of my eyes. “Well, I would have loved to turn into an all powerful god, who rules the multiverse, but we can’t always have things your way.”
“Oh shut it.” Richard said, annoyed. “Let’s just figure out where the hell we are, okay? Afterwards, we can try and find civilization or something.”
I slowly looked around, trying to find the best way to go. “Sounds like a plan, maybe if we follow…” I was cut off by a loud roaring sound coming from nearby. Before I could even do anything, several trees right in front of me were crushed under a massive purple paw. I slowly looked up to see a giant purple Lego space-bear staring down at us, mouth drooling. “How screwed are we on a scale of one to ten?” No response. “Buddy?” I turned around.
“Run dude!” Came the cry of Richard as he ran for his life.
“You dick!” I yelled as I ran after him.
“You know it!” We ran past countless trees, bushes, and rocks, as we despretely tried to escape the evil space bear’s clutches. But after running for minutes, I tripped, as my leg somehow got stuck under a vine, leaving me stuck, as I tried to get up, but was unable to. “HELP!” I yelled to my friend who was already too far away to come back and help me.
As the footsteps came closer, I closed my eyes in fear, before hearing a familiar sound. I turn my head to see a bunch of bouncing Lego bricks, all within arm’s reach. Using my love of building Legos, and my creativity, I quickly starting grabbing them, and building something. I have no idea what I’m building, but building it was my instincts are telling me. After a couple of seconds, and feeling the giant purple paw right behind me, I finished my creation, and quickly turned as much as I could, pointing my newly made sniper rifle at the giant Lego bear. With a click of a trigger, a loud bang was heard, as the gun slipped out of my grip, and landed on the ground, followed by the loud bang of the bear falling down, dead. I looked over in surprise. “That actually worked?”
Just then, my friend came barrelling back in a Lego bulldozer and collided with the giant space-bear, sending Lego bits flying everywhere.
“WOO! I’m the hero!” Richard screamed happily. “I meant to say I’d come back for you, but I guess you didn’t hear me.”
“Can you help me back up man? My leg’s trapped under a vine, and it won’t budge.” I asked, as I tried to get my leg free again, only for it not to work. “I hate crappy movie cliches like this.”
“Sure thing, man.” Richard said, dismounting the bulldozer and shoving the vine off my leg. “I swear, all these Legos, man. If we’re stuck here, I blame you.”
“If we’re stuck here, we can build whatever we want.” I retorted, as I stood up, dusting off my legs, and picking up my new sniper rifle. “I mean check this out. I built a powerful sniper rifle with a few blocks. You built a bulldozer too! We could be gods! Especially if they have people here who have no idea how powerful Legos can be.” I rubbed my ‘hands’ together, laughing evilly.
Richard smacked me in the back of the head. “Dude, really? Don’t be like that.”
I sighed. “Yeah, you’re right. So… what now?” I asked, and right after I did, several wolf howls were heard in the distance.
“We take the bricks of the thing I just destroyed, build a shelter.” Richard said as we heard another howl. “And we do it fast!”
I nodded in agreement, and quickly ran over to the pile of jumping bricks left behind by the giant bear, as I quickly started building a shelter. After about half a minute, I made a small shelter that looks like something you would live in after the first day in Minecraft. But it had working lights in it, so that’s a plus. “There, done.” I said with a satisfied smile, as I looked at my friends shocked face, surprised I was able to do it so fast. “What? I’ve played with Legos my entire life. Make sense if I was a natural fast builder if I was in a Lego world.”
“Show off.” Richard said. He reached into his pocket for a second and pulled something out. “Ya know, if what you said is true, then my lucky laserpointer should be a death ray or something.” He clicked it on, and immediately a beam shot out from it and destroyed a portion of the shelter. “... I stand by my words.”
I stood there shocked. “How the hell did that even work! That wouldn’t work in the games! It’s not even made of golden bricks!” I quickly ran over to the destroyed part, and tried to rebuild it as best I can. I was able to succeed though, which was good, because there was another howl that sounded like it was closer, and I saw some small green lights peeking out of the bushes. “I’ll see you inside.” I quickly said, as I quickly ran up to my door, and opened it, before closing it.
“Hey! Wait up!” Richard called as he ran in after me.
