New Kind of Fun

by brony114

Rating: mature
Tags: Random, Slice of Life, Human
Length: 2146

Human in Equestria talks about giving Twilight Sparkle Ecstasy that he brought from our world.

A Human Grad student from our world has found a way to log onto skype through his phone while in Equestria. He talks to an old friend about his adventures, specifically about introducing Twilight Sparkle, the Princess of Friendship, to Ecstasy.

Yes, it's a story about drugs.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2015-07-19 04:10:02 UTC

Chapter 1

Hey, what's up?....

Yeah it's been awhile since I've been on here...

What am I doing?....

OMG Dude,you couldn’t guess where I am!

Do you know about My Little Pony?....

Yeah ok, well let me tell you,

Me and Twilight woke up together in her bed this morning! I can't believe I woke up in her bed...

You know!....

The Twilight Sparkle!

Princess of Friendship?…

Yeah any way, I was laying on my back ( which I never do, I'm a side sleeper) and she was sprawled on top of me with her head tucked in on my chest.  It wasn't uncomfortable at all. Her fore hooves were wrapped around my sides with my arms doing the same over her wings and forelegs.

Yes Dude, for real! It's real!....

NO I'm not insane!..... OK I am on some,  but that doesn't mean I'm hallucinating!....

OK, look! let me finish my story!

I have to tell you, She is the most adorable thing I've ever woken up too. She was sleeping contently, holding me like I was her teddy bear. She had a cute little smile! I didn't want to wake her but I kind of wanted to get up for the day so I tried to get her hooves from around me. This only got her to snuggle in deeper. I couldn't resist it, she had me where she wanted me.

I can't believe she  is this lovable. I know she's cute but Damn the DAWW factor was to the max. Her horn was lying to the right side of my face which was fine since it was safely away from any important parts of my face. Her mane was pretty messy to be honest, it was everywhere all over me. It tickled my face and it was sprawled on me, just like her.

Im guessing you want me to start from the beginning huh?

Well...

It all started last night  when I was getting my stuff ready to head out for the night. Not that I mind the place, but I really didn't want to stay at the Friendship Castle...

What...

Oh the beginning beginning! Ok, Well, I was stereo-typically transported to the wonderful world of Equestria through some convoluted and cartoonish means. She didn't really explain it to me very well (Twilight), but apparently I have some affinity to the magic of friendship.... Could have fooled me to be honest. Last I checked my only friends were druggies that I partied with at raves and shit, But I guess I really was the glue that held that circle together. Personally I just liked partying.

Any way, Twilight found me in her library where she kept this big old Mirror. I was pretty boozed up still from that night of drinking when I popped in through it…

you know I hate drinking: It’s not my choice in fun...

Ex is way better, Hands down! ...

So yeah Twilight's been wanting to find a way to send me back through her mirror but she was having problems, something having to do with " finding the right layline".  Well that's all above my college level of expertise in fine art.  So im stuck here till then.

So you might be wondering how I felt about this little adventure I'm in... well i have to explain who I am really first. You see I'm a graduate level art student at NMSU. I'm an avid recreational user of Ex and psychedelics  and I was never a brony, so what a surprise it was for me when I came face to face with one of my friends obsessions.  Yeah my roommate is a huge brony. I don't mind it, it just wasn't my thing. Still though, I think they were on to something. To  be honest, Mark is one of the milder types of bronies.  He likes to make art, especially about his fave, Twilight sparkle.

... Oh you're one too....

... Freak!....

... LOL JK! it's cool…

  Oh man is he going to be pissed when I tell him I did Ex with her.... oh shit i messed that up!

Hold on…

Let me get to the beginning again.....

Ok so yeah I've been spending my time living with the Cakes and Pinkie pie. Shes cool, Not as intrusive as her cartoon counterpart, but still just as spunky. I've been doing random chores for the Cakes as payment for my stay, which I sort of forced on them. They really didn't want to charge me, but I’m not one to leach off of society.

In the mean time, Twilight has been asking me all kinds of questions! It was kind of awkward at first since she started trying to find my “pony self”,  which she was dead sure there would be one of me in Equestria... I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't from " that human world"... Ours is  more fucked up if you ask me. Why do you think I do drugs in the first place....

Oh don’t go comparing me with crack heads, We ain't the same!  you really are ignorant about drugs aren't you?

Well any way I finally got her to realize I was from somewhere she had never heard of, and I kind of hope she never has to go to.... but anyway, she’s been constantly interviewing me every night about our world. I try to be as unbiased about it as I can but when we started talking politics, we sort of hit some rough spots. I'm a huge hippie when it comes to interpersonal relationships, but my God, does this world not like confrontation. Violence is like a once in awhile thing, not an everyday occurrence.  Still that didn't stop Canterlot from posting two huge Celestial guards on me at all times. They fucking meant business too. They were the scariest fucking unicorns you can imagine! I think Twilight said her brother was overreacting. I think so too.

Well they at least would leave us alone during the interviews, I guess Twilight sort of trumps Shining Armor in political power.  That makes sense…

No, I don’t know how everything works there in Equestria, it's not as simple as the show puts it! Remember that was a show for kids!...

Yeah, yeah, I know about the Tyrek episode, will you shut up about it! Fuck!

So last night was our one month anniversary of meeting at her Castle for the interview. I made Pinkie  swear not through another damn party for me. It’s an understatement to said I never want to see sugar again. Pinkie was cool about it.  So Twilight was  asking me about the Italian Renaissance and how that was such a huge era in human civilisation. From what I know from all the art history I've taken in undergrad,  I tried to summarize it as best I could. Honestly I never cared too much about art history, I’m a studio artist not an art historian, but still I was able to give her a good summary of everything. She swears she wants to go see the Vatican... of all places.  during that time I pulled my dwindling supply of smileys out of my pocket. I didn't mean to show her, but she took interest immediately

.

She asked if that was my medication and of course i was like " Yeah, it’s important."  She asked what they were and I told her it's MDMA. Apparently Ecstasy isn't known around those parts.  I tried to explain what is was and she understood what recreational drugs were, but stuff like that is not outlawed in Equestria...

Upon further retrospective of that statement I wonder why the fuck I’m trying to leave...

Any way, She made hints that she wanted to try it…

how can you not want to give a purple unicorn pony Ex? It wasn't a matter of if I would share, it was a matter of how much..... we finished off my stash.... I Know that was bad!

… Oh come on, it was only two and a half pills so it wasn't like I was trying to get her to roll balls…

..still, it was a fun night!

So  We made it into a ritualistic undertaking.  Twilight made sure Spike was doing something else that night at Rarity’s. We made sure the lighters were dim and my phone, (which was being charged by the power of friendship, Fuck yeah!), was on loud with a origami horn boosting the acoustics.  I put on some trance and we popped the pills. We talked for a while and as not a whole lot happened, She kept insisting that it might not work. I Had to reassure her, she would be having a good time soon.  Then it hit both of us... her more!

Wow, was that pony swimming! It looked like her whole body was feeling the flow. The funny thing was her wings: they were all over the place, touching her rug and folding over herself and all kinds of shit! I made a point to let her go and enjoy it,  but every once and a while I would ask if she needed anything.

I offered to give her a massage and she let me: it was pretty cool. I started from her neck and slowly worked my way down her shoulders, then to her wings. Apparently wings are sensitive.  I worked up and down her wings  which made her almost convulse, which, in turn, made me want to convulse with pleasure...

No it's not the same thing as Sex you idiot…

Anyway, I made sure to spend extra time on her wings. That was so freaking trippy, watching this pony girl having the time of her fucking life…

Then the crazy shit happened…

So yeah, unicorn magic feels really funky when they use it on you, It's smooth but tingly at the same time. Well, when I was giving her a massage, she went ahead and started giving me one too, with her magic. To be honest, it was fucking great! She started down from my lower back and slowly worked her way up to my shoulders and neck. The tingling sensation made it so fucking awesome! Like I've never felt that much pleasure in my whole life, LIke not even sex compares.  We sort of went crazy like we were having sex.... but it wasn't sex.

NO that would have been weird!....

PLRing is very inclusive and it’s acceptable to give friendly massages to anyone when rolling...

What ever smart ass, it's not like you've ever rolled before!...

NO you dont know!.....

Wow, always with the gay comments. Anyways,  Twilight was freaking swimming like crazy with me and she started grabbing me with her legs and her wings.

The two of us just caressed each other all over like  we were big fucking teddy bears made of the softest fur ever.  Thats another thing, her hair felt amazing too!.... Right right, " Mane!" Her coat and mane  felt fucking fantastic.

Later on, when that wave washed over us, I started telling her about how awesome light shows are. Then she started doing shit with her magic and making light patterns in the air. She kept asking, “ What about this? Is this cool?”

It was crazy how Twilight could put on a light show with her magic, That girl can make some crazy visual shit happen.  She said she could feel the magic flowing through her body, which she only felt anything in her horn when she used it.  It was as much for her as it was a show for me. I can't even begin to explain what I saw! I just can't do it justice.

Twilight was pretty much enjoyed the whole thing and I’m glad I gave her the rest of my stache.

She makes for a pretty fun rolling buddy.

It wasn't long before the sun came out and spike was on his way back. It was about time for our rolls to be over. We went to her room and layed in her bed. My shirt and shoes came off but I left my jeans on. The feeling of her limbs over my chest were magical.... no pun intended... and we just sort of laid there, talking till we fell asleep. I'm sure Spike came in to see us so I might have to talk to him some time later!

Well anyway that's my rambling of a story.  I'm so glad I still have Skype on my phone. Not sure how I have internet though.

Ok yeah im glad you were on my friends list...

Even though we never talked since high school......

Fuck dude are you going to hold that against me from now on? K Fine I’ll give you update from here, does that make you feel better.......

Well if you nice enough Ill give you a video tour of PonyVille…

No I don't know Derpy personally, but ill see if i can talk to her…

OK yeah Good night man!