A Ruler’s Duty
A very prominent professor of humorology was once quoted as saying, “The mark of a good pun is not found in a smile or laugh, but in the grimace on the faces of those hearing it.” If Princess Twilight Sparkle could but remember who exactly that humorologist was, perhaps her grimace would be lessened slightly. And if Pinkie Pie would stop bounding around Twilight’s bedroom making these terrible puns, she might see that they were going over much better than she could have hoped.
“Pinkie,” Twilight called to the pink mare, “could you stop bouncing on my bed for a minute and tell me why you’re here so late?”
Pinkie stopped in mid-air before lighting on the floor beside the bed. “Well, excuuuse me,” she said with mock disdain, “but if you were even listening, you’d know that I was getting there.”
“I was listening; that’s the problem. You weren’t saying anything,” the purple pony sighed. “Look Pinkie, you know I love spending time with you and with everyone else, but tonight I’m just too busy.”
Pinkie giggled. “Oh, Twilight, you’re never too busy for fun! And anyways, I was just stopping by to let you know about Pound Cake and Carrot Cake’s un-birthday party tomorrow. You’re coming, right?”
“I’d love—“
A third voice rang out from the window: “She most certainly is not!” Both mares looked towards the source of the booming call to find a large dark alicorn standing on the balcony.
“Omigosh, it’s Princess Luna!” Pinkie exclaimed. In a flash, she made it from Twilight’s bed to the princess’ side. “Oh hey, what are you doing tomorrow? You wanna come to the un-birthday party at Sugarcube Corner? You know what they say: ‘fifty-three is company, but fifty-four is a PARTY!’ At least, I’m pretty sure it goes something like that.”
“I am entirely sure that the saying goes nothing like that at all, Miss Pinkie Pie,” Luna muttered. “I’m afraid I will not be attending your party, as lovely as it sounds. And for that matter, neither will Princess Twilight Sparkle.”
“Aw, maaaan!” Pinkie sighed. “And here I’d already thought of a bunch of fun princess-y games we could play.” She perked up instantly. “Oh well. See you at the party Twilight!” Pinkie jumped off the balcony and I muffled thump was heard. Twilight and Luna looked over the edge anxiously to find that Pinkie had landed right in a hay cart being pulled by Big Macintosh. As he continued his way back home, both princesses in the bedroom could hear them enthusiastically chatting into the distance. Well, Pinkie did most of the chatting.
“That pony is not very good at listening, is she?” Princess Luna asked, turning her attention to Twilight.
“She’s good when it matters. And she’s good at telling when it matters.” Twilight led Luna inside the house. “Now, Princess Luna, to what do I owe the honor of this, uh, rather late visit?”
“If I may be frank, Princess Twilight Sparkle—“
“Please just call me Twilight,” she interrupted. “The full title makes me uneasy.”
Luna sighed. “It is exactly that attitude that brings me here tonight, Princess Twilight. Princess Celestia and I are worried that you may not be fully acknowledging your duties as a princess, and all that this new life entails. Look at these forms,” Luna indicated a small pile of papers on Twilight’s desk. “The Griffon Kingdom requested that these be filled out and sent to their ambassador tomorrow, and here they are, barely begun!”
“With respect, ma’am, I was working on reading and signing those when you showed up on my balcony.”
“And with respect, madam, that is not what I saw at all. What I did see was you and that silly pink mare conversing over what must be, in relation to your royal duties, incredibly trivial matters.”
“Now wait just a minute, Princess,” Twilight interjected. “You’re not being fair! She was trying to invite me to a party tomorrow. She just got a bit sidetracked, is all.”
“I’m sure she did. And that caused you to get sidetracked from what you needed to be doing tonight.” Luna looked directly at Twilight, her full royal bearing making sure that this message was taken in. “It is my belief, Princess Twilight Sparkle, that your friends here in Ponyville are interfering with your duties as a princess. This is not the only instance of this happening, either. Do you recall when you did not show at the Royal Guard’s Ball last month because you were helping your friend the Apple pony with a simple errand?”
“I didn’t get the call to show up to that ball until the morning it was supposed to happen!” Twilight began pacing, frustration beginning to show. “By that point, I was already out at Sweet Apple Acres. And there was no way Spike could have gotten that letter to me in the first place – you’d sent him out to the Everfree Forest to make sure Zecora’s family get-together wasn’t getting ‘out of hand’! Which, by the way, was a completely unnecessary and borderline offensive gesture that made Spike extremely uncomfortable.”
“My point still stands, Princess Twilight,” Luna declared, voice rising to be heard above Twilight’s. “Your subjects rely on you to be a dependable ruler! You cannot simply abandon—“
Twilight’s eyes went wide. “ ‘Subjects’? These ponies are not my ‘subjects’, Princess; each and every pony living here in this town is my friend! I love and care for my friends here in a way that I could not if I thought of them as subjects. To ask me to do that to them, to belittle them like that, is simply something I cannot do. To ask me to do so is just too cruel.”
“Is that what you think we do? Belittle our subjects?” Luna’s voice went quiet. “That is the only cruelty here, Twilight. I cannot stress to you how deep the love is that my sister and I have for our people. Everything we do, no matter how distant or unfeeling, is rooted in our passion for those we serve.” Luna sighed and looked away. “Even the great tragedy that I was responsible for was grounded, albeit in a twisted way, in the love I had for the ponies I love. That is what it means to be a princess, Twilight. We show our love for the whole, even if it means distancing ourselves from the individuals. Loving is our nature. It is who we are.”
“I understand that, Princess Luna. And that’s what I’m doing here. We just have different ways of showing our love. My friends are the most important thing to me right now. They always have been, and the always will be. I wouldn’t be alive today without their help, and I most definitely wouldn’t have become a princess if it weren’t for my love for them. So I’ll do what I can to show my love for the whole, but do not ask me to give up my friends to do so. I will not, and I can not.”
“I see,” Luna sighed. “If that is how you will rule your people, then so be it.” Luna began walking toward the window. Looking up at the moon, she said, “Perhaps I will attend Miss Pinkie Pie’s party tomorrow. I shall send a courier announcing my intentions.”
“Don’t bother,” Twilight smiled. “Pinkie loves surprises.”
“I’m sure she does,” Luna remarked. And with that, she flew off into the night sky.
Author's Note
MELODRAMA HOOOOOOO
