What Happens When Stuff Happens
Stuff starts happening...
It was a wonderful day in Ponyville. The sky was a beautiful shade of blue, the birds were happily chirping as they soared through the wispy clouds, and the sound of young fillies and foals playing filled the warm, summer’s air.
And then stuff happened.
There wasn’t a warning, like when any other stuff happened.
This stuff just happened so fast, there wasn’t any time for anypony to react.
First, everything was fine, and the next, stuff was happening all over the place.
Big stuff, little stuff: all kinds of stuff was happening.
At the time, Twilight was in the library, accompanied by her five friends who happened to be helping her sort some stuff.
When the stuff started happening, Pinkie’s Pinkie sense obviously went haywire: She started zooming about the room, a-twitchin’ this way and a-twitchin’ that way, doing all kinds of stuff.
“Pinkie!” cried her friend, Twilight. “What’s happening?”
Pinkie Pie stopped suddenly, hanging in the air comically. She solemnly turned to face Twilight, her usually cheery face twisted in horror. She uttered but one word.
“Stuff.”
This caused a collective gasp of terror from everypony present. Fluttershy cried, Rarity fainted, Applejack stared silently at the ground, Rainbowdash threw up and Spike exploded.
Twice.
“This is no time to panic!” cried Twilight above all of the stuff that was happening. “I will go see what is happening.”
With that, she trotted quickly over to the window and peered out, where she saw some indescribable stuff happening. So indescribable, that I can’t even describe it.
So I’m not going to.
Needless to say, this was some heavy stuff happening. Think of all the stuff that could possibly happen, and times that...
... by seven.
Seven wizards.
With a strangled cry, she turned back to her friends. “By Celestia’s mane...” she swore.
Rainbowdash wiped some vomit stuff from her mouth. “What... what did you see out there?” The cyan Pegasus inquired.
Twilight Sparkle began to describe all the indescribable stuff that was happening, making sure to describe every indescribable detail that she could. She told them all about the stuff, the happening and even the stuff happening.
This caused a collective gasp of terror from everypony present. Fluttershy cried again, Rarity had a mild heart attack, Applejack stared silently at the ceiling, Rainbowdash barfed rainbows everywhere and Spike exploded again in a big shower of moustaches.
“Oh, whatever shall we do?” cried Rarity, after she had recovered. “This is worse than all those other times when all that other stuff happened put together!”
Twilight wandered over to the table situated in the middle of the library. Using her unicorn magic, she levitated a large piece of paper, a few pens, a ruler and a can of red bull off of a nearby shelf. “We need a plan if we want to survive this. Anypony got any ideas?”
Pinkie slapped the equipment off of the table with a single sweep of her hoof. “Damn it, Twilight!” she growled, staring hypnotically into Twilight’s eyes. “This isn’t time for your ‘plans’ and ‘logic’! There is only one way to deal with stuff, and that’s with other stuff!”
“What sort of stuff?” Asked Twilight sceptically.
“The sort of stuff that happens when stuff happens to start happening, of course!”
Pinkie began to describe her indescribable plan, which happened to be about stuff. It was a really good plan or something, but I can’t be bothered to tell you what it was because your mind would explode with the genius of it. Just like the genius of this fic.
So the six ponies cautiously trotted out of the tree-library, and right into the centre of the stuff that was happening.
It was much worse than they thought, now they happened to see what stuff was happening up close.
Twilight stopped and turned to her friends. “Okay, we just need to...” The lavender mare stopped short. “Wait, where’s Fluttershy?”
Applejack nervously kicked at the dirt with her hoof, her eyes glued to the ground. “Twi’, Ah don’t know how ta say this, but, somethin’ happened ta Fluttershy.”
The librarian let out a gasp of horror. “Gasp of horror!” she gasped in horror at the horrible horror she was about to hear. “What happened?”
The orange Earth pony solemnly lifted her head as though she were in a trance, tears glistening in her eyes. “Stuff.” She sobbed.
Twilight fell to the ground and threw down her hooves in rage. “NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” she screamed.
Suddenly, everypony was thrown to the ground as stuff happened.
Twilight painfully raised her battered head from the ground with a grunt of effort. She squinted into the wreckage of the town centre. The unicorn could swear she saw something happening within the smoke. Something moving...
A bright light blinded her, forcing her to look away from the stuff happening, but she could hear the collective gasp’s of awe coming from her fellow elements of harmony.
She looked back into the heavy smoke as the light shone brighter and brighter, driving the smoke further and further away.
And there, floating in the sky, looking down on them all with a god-like presence and glowing with unnatural light, was their saviour.
The only pony who knew what stuff was happening.
And the only pony who knew how to stop it.
Twilight Sparkle’s lips curled into a smile as she recognised the pony’s face.
The light grey Pegasus threw back her golden mane. “I just don’t know...” she whispered, turning her head slowly and removing her shades.
"...What went wrong."
*****************************************
Big boss man took another drink of his coffee, slamming the ceramic mug bag down onto the long wooden table with a bang. His appearance was haggard , his suit stained with sweat, his darting eyes red and bloodshot, giving the impression he hadn’t had any rest in quite a while. He sighed and looked down the length of the long table at the other men and women sitting at either side. All shared his qualities: tired, restless. They looked back at him with pleading eyes.
“Anybody else got any other ideas? Anybody?” He called desperately to the others, his voice wavering with exhaustion. He received no answer.
With another weary sigh, he looked down at the crumpled, ink stained sheet labelled ‘My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic – Season 4, Episode 1.” His eyes fell upon the final words on the page: ‘The light grey Pegasus threw back her golden mane. “I just don’t know...” she whispered, turning her head slowly and removing her shades.
“...What went wrong.”’
Big boss man took another gulp of his coffee and smoothed back his matted hair.
"I think this will be the last series, guys."
