Sweet Apple Oh No

by Toysorama

Rating: mature
Tags: Comedy
Length: 293

This is not what you think it may be. This is a parody of "Sweet Apple Massacre". I hate that story, so what do I do? Well make a comedy of it of course! Sorry if you came for gross out factor, I'm ownly here to make you laugh (at least I hope).

Big Macintosh has a dastardly and evil scheme. He plans to capture the cutie mark crusaders. He's had enough of their annoying frantics and wishes to put them out if their misery and…well…you know how the story goes. But what if things DIDN'T go the way Big Mac wanted them to.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2015-07-19 06:52:38 UTC

The Moment

Big Mac hid behind an apple tree as he gazed upon the cutie mark crusaders. He hated how they laughed and played with their beach ball. He thought of all the terrible things he would do to them.

"When I catch you little fuckers I will..."

"Hey Big Mac!" said Applejack as she cut him off. Big Mac stumbled as he saw Applejack walking up towards him. "Whatcha doin'?"

"Well", Big Mac replied, "I just wanted to watch our little sister play with her friends, cause ya know, she just warms my heart!"

Applejack looked at him funny. Big Mac, now sweating like crazy, is staring at Applejack.

"Well okay then!" said Applejack. "You two are having some really good quality bonding time together." Big Mac sighed with relief. "Hey Applebloom!" shouted Applejack over to the cutie mark crusaders. "Why don't you three spend some quality time with your big brother?" Applebloom sort of rolled her eyes as she walked over to Big Mac.

"We were kinda in a freeze tag tournament" said Applebloom.

"How do you play freeze tag with a beach ball?" interrupted Big Mac.

"How do ponies wash their backs in the shower? I don't know!" replies Applebloom. Big Mac gives her a what the fuck look.

"Well I don't care!" said Applejack. "Spend time with your Big Brother now!"

"Fine!" Applebloom said as she rolled her eyes. Applejack leaves and the crusaders look at Big Mac.

"Soooo now what?" asked Scootaloo.  Big Mac's lips curled into a smile.

"Oh, you'll see!" said Big Mac as he burst out into a maniacal laughter. The crusaders all look at each other and shrug.

"Well what could possibly happen?" said Applebloom ironically as something is most probably going to happen.