That's not funny Scootaloo!

by Versity2003

Rating: teen
Tags: Slice of Life, Dark, Comedy
Length: 921

Scootaloo's humor is... a little different to say the least. She tends to like dark humor.

Scootaloo was raised a little differently, so her humor is a little bit different. Join her as she tries to tell jokes but comes off as crazy. If you like dark humor then you'll probably laugh at this side project of a story.

TW- Dark humor. (Blood, etc.)

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2015-07-20 02:42:43 UTC

That's not funny Scootaloo!

The sun was shining bright on the school yard as Cherilee let the fillies and colts out for recess. All the fillies grouped with their friends and went to the activities they liked best. And for the Cutie mark crusaders, it was the swings. The three fillies all sat together on the swing set, laughing giddily at the joke Sweetie Belle just told. "That's quite a good one! Oh- Scootaloo how about you tell a joke!" Apple bloom chuckled. Scootaloo flapped her wings to swing a bit higher as her laughter broke off.

"Okay, I got a real funny one! This one is the story of little billy. So you two know how we have an archery unit in gym, right? You know that white curtain we put behind the targets so that our arrows don't go into oblivion? Well- there is a red spot on that curtain...", She took a pause so she could hold in a few chuckles, "Have you ever wondered why? Well it's because of Billy. Our gym teacher never tells us why the red spot is there, and she never tells us whether or not she has a child. I mean she is married. She's got a son who she never talks about and his name is- well was Billy. He was young and short, not much taller then pound-cake. He would come to school and play with his ball while his mother taught gym.", She let out a small laugh and struggled to keep a straight face, "He was playing with his ball during the archery unit when it started rolling away. It rolled and rolled and rolled until it reached behind the targets, he went to chase it so he could keep playing. But he was so short that nobody saw him. Until one fateful arrow went straight into his forehead and blood spewed out.", Scootaloo was now crying because of how funny this was, "H-He died that day. A-And his -he he- mother can't bare to mention him or explain the -he ha- spot. B-because she spent -ha ha ha- so much money on his tombstone t-that s-s-she coul-ld never -Ah HA HA HA HA HA- replace the curtain. A-and every ar-archer-y unit onl-ly reminds her of her d-de-deceased son!" Scootaloo burst into a fit of laughter, tears streaming down her face. The other two crusaders looked at the orange Pegasus wide-eyed, exchanging glances. They slowed down their swings a bit and let out nervous laughs. Scootaloo slowed down, too as her laughter began dying off. She wiped the tears from her face and smiled. "Whats a matter? Don't have a sense of humor?" She chuckled jabbing apple bloom with her elbow.

"No- It's just that, well... that ain't funny Scootaloo." Apple bloom said seeming a bit concerned, "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine. What do you mean it isn't funny? Oh I get it. It's not funny IT'S HILARIOUS!" Scootaloo said grinning as she stopped her swing entirely, "You think it's funny, right Sweetie Belle?"

"Actually I'm with Apple Bloom on this one. That's not funny Scootaloo..." Sweetie Belle said.

"Is this why my jokes never made it to the funny column on the foal free press?" The Pegasus thought out loud, "Nah, My humor isn't messed up. It's just different. None of you have my sense of humor."

"Aw what? I'm sure we like your jokes, just not that one..." Apple Bloom said letting out a shy smile, "How about you tell a different one?"

"Okay sure. This is a stand up comedy sketch okay?" Scootaloo paused to clear her thought, "So suicide isn't a joke. I don't even joke about suicide! But I was thinking if you do kill yourself, make your corpse look less depressing. I mean don't just hang yourself with rope- maybe use Christmas lights. Put presents around your feet with all the stuff you're leaving to different people in them. That way if they find you its like 'No! Not Marty! Oh- wait! I HOPE THE BIG PRESENT IS MINE!!' It'll be sad but less sad, you know? Maybe wrap some tinsel on your legs, wear a Santa clause hat, leave some milk and cookies by your note... lighten the mood a bit." The filly started laughing and the tears of joy bubbling up in her eyes again. She let her laughter die off and stared at her friends, "Was that one funny?"

"Nope. It is still morbid." Apple bloom stated.

"Well which was more funny? Sweetie belle?" Scootaloo asked.

"I-I umm... Why? Just why?" Sweetie belle said, "Thats not funny Scootaloo!" Cherilee called the children in and the crusaders got off of the swing set and ran inside the school building. Recess was officially over. Nopony understood Scootaloo's jokes. Well, nopony at school, that is. The orange filly sat down at her desk and got out her math home work. As Cherilee just kept rambling on and on, and Scootaloo fell asleep without realizing it. Apple bloom noticed this and tried to wake the filly up.

"Scootaloo! Wake-up" She whisper yelled.

"Need to tell me something Apple bloom?" Cherilee yelled.

"N-No m'mam. Scootaloo's just sleeping..." The Earthpony trailed off. With that cherilee slammed a book down on dozing Pegasus's desk, causing scootaloo to wake up.

"GREEN IS NOT A CREATIVE COLOR!" Scootaloo yelled, lifting her head up.

"Well You should pay attention to math, not how creative green is." Cherilee scolded. The rest of the class chuckled, "That's not funny Scootaloo!"