Tales of Troubled Teens

Sunday August 16, 10:00 P.M.

Pocket Pair was sitting at his computer with his tiny domestic shorthair cat Princess on his lap, hoping to win his first major online texas hold'em poker tournament. In terms of appearance, Pocket pair was a tall 17 year old male with dark blonde hair and white skin. He was fairly thin, and was currently sporting a pair of shorts, glasses, and a shirt that said “I don’t even fold laundry” and which displayed each of the four playing card suits below that statement. Princess on the other hand was a very small full grown cat whose hair was mostly black save for some white patches on her paws, one of her back legs, and in a streak running from her chin down throughout most of her belly. She also meowed often and when she did, it sounded distinctly like “mow ow”.

“This is it! Heads up at the final table Princess. Only one more player to bust and I’ll win my first major tournament”, Pocket Pair said to his cat as a notification indicating play would soon resume played on his computer. “This is it, this is my time to shine, my game to win, and I am not going to let anything ruin this for me” he said as the break ended and the cards were shuffled. “Sure, I have slightly fewer chips than my opponent right now, but I have a VERY good read on him and know exactly what he has all times. So if I can just make a few plays and bluff him off a few key hands, I should be able to take the chip lead form him. And once that happens, barring a HUGE cooler like set over set or aces over kings, only the jaws of life are going to save him from a second place finish,” he said as the cards were dealt.

He then looked at his cards and said” Oh yeah, no complaining here. The ace of clubs and the aces of spades, good old pocket aces. Let’s keep the pressure on” he said as he raised to 3 big blinds and was called by his opponent from the big blind. The chips were then collected in the middle and they both saw a flop of queen of spades, ten of hearts, seven of clubs. His opponent, first to act, waited a few seconds and then checked leaving the action on Pocket Pair. “Well, no reason to back down now,” Pocket Pair said as he quickly bet 5 big blinds into the pot.  However, rather than folding or just calling as Pocket Pair expected him to, his opponent took him by surprise by raising him to 11 big blinds.

“A check-raise?," Pocket Pair said, "I was NOT expecting that. I mean that doesn’t look like a dangerous flop, but I know this player, and if he is going to make this play, then regardless of how safe the flop does or doesn’t look, it’s clear he must have connected with it pretty solidly. Maybe I should just fold the aces,” he said as he moved his mouse over to the fold button.  However, he quickly stopped moving his mouse and said  “But wait a minute. Now that I think about it, I really don’t think he actually has me beaten. I mean it is clear that he must have something if he’s going to play this hand like this. But if it WERE something I was behind like two pair or a three of a kind, I see no reason why he would ever choose to reveal it to me on the flop, especially considering how dry the board is and how aggressive I’ve been. No, if he had something that strong he’d probably wait until the turn to reveal the strength of his hand. So since he raised me now, I’m willing to bet, 25 big blinds to be exact, that he either has some sort of hand like king queen and he flopped top pair, or had has a hand like king jack and is trying to semi-bluff me off the hand and buy the pot.” He said as he reraised his opponent to 25 big blinds.

His opponent, after thinking for a few seconds, reraised all-in on him, and Pocket Pair, after taking in a deep breath, made the call. The cards we then revealed, and Pocket Pair quickly that his opponent had king queen and his aces were way ahead. “I CALLED it, I CALLED his hand,” he said excitedly. “And if I can just fade a king or a queen here I’ll win this hand and this tournament will be all but mine” he said as the turn card was dealt. Upon seeing it was the ace of hearts giving him a three aces (also known as a set), he jumped up and said “YES,” knocking his cat off his lap in the process.

“Mow ow,” Princess said.

“Oops, sorry, “he said picking her up. “I guess I got a little excited there huh?”

“Mow ow,” Princess replied.

“Yes, I know I should tone it down, but how can I, I just won my first major tournament,” he said putting her in his lap again and sitting back down facing the screen. However, he then looked at the screen and caught sight of the chips being shipped to his opponent before a message popped up congratulating him for his second place finish. “WHAT?” he shouted, “but I had a set of aces and he had one pair, how could I lose?” he said looking at the hand history. However, he quickly realized what had happened when he saw text saying his opponent won the pot with an ace high straight.

“AAARGH,” he shouted jumping up in rage and knocking Princess from his lap. “ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME? THEY SERIOUSLY GAVE HIM A JACK ON THE RIVER TO BUST ME! YOU FUCKING PRICKS!” he shouted before kicking his computer tower.

“Mow ow” Princess said.

“OVERREACTING, WHO’S OVERREACTING?! I’M NOT OVERREACTING!” Pocket Pair said.  “I JUST MISSED OUT ON 500 MILLION BECAUSE OF THAT FOUR OUTER ON THE RIVER! I HAVE EVERY RIGHT TO BE MAD AT SUCH AN OUTRAGE”

“Mow ow, “Princess said

“AND WHAT DOES IT BEING PLAY MONEY AND NOT ACTUAL MONEY HAVE A THING TO DO WITH IT?” Pocket Pair shouted. “IT’S THE PRINCIPAL BEHIND IT DAMNIT. THEY GAVE ME THE SET, AND AS SUCH IT WAS MY HAND TO WIN. FOR THEM TO TAKE IT FROM ME AFTER THEY GAVE ME SUCH HOPE AND LET ME GET SO FAR AHEAD IS JUST CRIMINAL!” he said before kicking his tower again.

“HISSSSSSSS”, Princess said.

“Woah woah woah Princess, no need to get all angry at me,” Pocket Pair said, before he thought a little bit.  After he stopped thinking, he said “Ok, maybe I did overreact a little bit just now.”

“Mow ow,” Princess said.

“Ok, A LOT, I overreacted a lot,” Pocket Pair said “But in all fairness, can you blame me? Here I am, my last chance this year to finally make something of myself and be a winner, and I am about to make the most of that chance and claim my first major tournament. I have this guy dead to rights, he needs a jack and a jack only on the river or I will take the dominating chip lead with my set of aces and be almost guaranteed to win the tournament. But then, at the last possible second, the RNG lets that guy hit a jack, a FOUR OUTER, on the river to take it all away from me and bust me in second place with a straight. How would you feel if that happened to you?”

“Mow ow, Princess said.

“What do you mean I can just play again?” Pocket Pair said. “I mean technically that’s true but do you know how hard it is to make it to the final table in a tournament with that many entrants? I’d be lucky to do it again anytime soon even if I was on top of my game constantly. However, I know for certain I won’t be happening, because school starts tomorrow, and with it will come so much effing homework I won’t even be able to concentrate on anything else with any degree of efficiency. Of course it’s not like that matters that much because even if I could concentrate, I’ll be so depressed because of the jerks there feigning interest in me and then ignoring me completely that I highly doubt I’ll be in anywhere near the right state of mind to play poker even remotely profitably for several months.”

He then fell backwards onto his bed and turned towards Princess. “Princess,” he said, “do you think maybe I could just quit school this year and play poker to get by?”

“Mow ow,” Princess said.

“Yes I know I’m being overly optimistic,” Pocket Pair said, “but please hear me out on this. I have consistently turned a profit in all the cash games I’ve played up to now. And while I have not yet played online for real money, that doesn’t change the fact that I would have won a major tournament with over 10,000 entrants tonight if that four outer didn’t hit to crack my set. I have skills, my track record proves it, and while they’re not perfect, I truly feel they’re enough to allow me to at least hold my own in a low stakes real money cash game. And that’s as they are now, they’ll only continue to get better over time as I get experience playing against better players and move up to higher stakes. Who knows, if I keep improving my play and my bankroll I might be able to move up to a sustainable limit within just a few months. So what do you think Princess?”

“Mow ow,” Princess said.

“Oh yeah that’s right.” Pocket Pair said losing his enthusiasm, “My parents. There’s no way they’d ever agree to let me do something like that for a living. I mean after all, they’re so obsessed with me not having any free time for fear I’d supposedly use it to do something  bad like take drugs, waste away at home, or have unprotected sex that there’s no way they’d let me take off enough time to make a full time poker career. Unless of course I get job in the meantime, but that would be no better than school as I’d still be super busy all the time and too stressed to read people.” He then groaned and said “Honestly, sometimes I wish I could just tell them to buzz off and leave me be to live my life as I wish, but of course I can’t do that because every single time I try to give them the message they’re being overbearing, they always pull the authority card and tell me to stop bashing the rules in their house or I’ll have to leave instead of hearing me out like mature adults. So, even though it’s completely unfair to me and what I want to do, in the end I guess I still have to waste my time doing something I hate and give up on my dreams. And since no matter what I do I’m still picking an evil, I may as well just give in and return to Canterlot high so I can eventually graduate eh Princess?”

“Mow ow,” Princess said.

“Yeah, that’s what I thought,” Pocket Pair said. “And that really sucks too. I mean REALLY REALLY sucks. As if it’s not bad enough I’m forced to do constant work for people I don’t even know for literally no pay, in the one and a half years since I transferred to the school I have got NOTHING out of it in return. Literally nothing. Not one accomplishment, not one award, not a smidge of popularity, and not even one single new friend. And why? Because those people at that school are all too stupid to see me for as cool as I truly am because they’re idiotic assholes.”

“Mow ow,” Princess said.

“And what about Ralph and Applejack huh Princess,” Pocket Pair said. “They may not hate me like almost everyone else there, but that doesn’t mean they’re my friends. At best they’re just my acquaintances, and honestly even calling them that might be giving them too much credit.

“Mow ow” Princess said.

“You want to know why I say that,” Pocket Pair said. “Well for starters, every time I hint at Ralph that he should invite me over, like FRIENDS do, he always claims he’s busy doing homework or some jazz and can’t do it. However, I know for a fact that this is a complete lie, because first of all no one is THAT busy that they couldn’t make time for another person if they really wanted to, especially in high school. However, second, and more importantly, I know he’s lying because every time I call him for help on the homework he claims he’s doing, he quickly covers the phone and does something he doesn’t want me to hear before he actually talks to me. And while he hasn’t told me what it is himself, from the snippits of audio I’ve heard coming through the receiver on several occasions, I’ve inferred that what he’s doing is muting the children’s show Owned Tiny Horse, Comradery is Spectacular in a desperate attempt to prevent me from knowing that’s what he was watching before he called. Obviously, this just proves he’s not actually busy when he says he is, an action which cements the fact that he’s not my friend.  Because after all, while Owned Tiny Horse is certainly not a bad show, and I actually am quite partial to it myself,  I do not find it more important than the other people in my life. And since Ralph apparently finds it more important than me, I clearly cannot be all that important to him now can I?”

“Mow ow, “ Princess said.

“Applejack?, Pocket Pair said. “Oh don’t EVEN get me started on her.” Pocket Pair said. “She may just be the BIGGEST disappointment in a friend I’ve ever had. I remember when I first met her, spring semester of sophomore year, she was being bullied by some assholes tossing her hat around for fun. I being the good guy I am, stopped the harassment and gave her back her hat before we went our separate ways. I assumed we’d never see each other again, but she proved me wrong by choosing to sit at my lunch table with me and Ralph that day at lunch.

At first I wasn’t so sure that was a good idea, since after all, she does have the whole southern country girl thing going and I wasn’t so sure we’d get along. But after talking to her, I quickly found that we actually have a very compatible sense of humor, are passionate about similar things, and a bunch of other stuff I never thought I’d share with someone else. And it got even better, she actually listened to me when I had problems instead of just telling me to shut up like Ralph and my parents do all the time. And to top it all off, unlike anyone else I knew, she actually started inviting me to do stuff sometimes. It was really like what I had always wanted and always should have had.”

“But then she changed,” Pocket Pair said in agony. “Just as soon as the invites from her started, they stopped without any rhyme or reason or explanation from her. And worse still, soon afterward I noticed she had started looking at me strangely when she thought I wasn’t paying attention to her. And even worse, more than once since then I’ve heard her talking ABOUT ME behind my back with her sister Applebloom.”

“Mow ow” Princess said.

“I don’t know what they were talking about,” Pocket Pair said, “But I can only guess it’s gossip about how weird I am. I mean that’s what everyone else in the school does, and it would explain why she has been looking at me weird. Of course, I wasn’t going to take being ostracized like this lying down, and after some time of not being invited I did confront her on the issue. But instead of being honest like she so proudly states she is all the time, like Ralph she just came up with some bogus excuse that made no logical sense to justify herself. She claimed that the reason she never had me over anymore was because brother,  Big Macintosh, believed that if I continued to spend time at her farm, I would hook up with Applebloom and she feared he’d chase me off their property with a shotgun in hand out of rage like something you see in one of those farmer’s daughter stories which flood the internet.”

“Mow ow, “ Princess said.

“Ok so maybe that does make some sense on a fundamental level, and maybe part of me is tempted to make it happen since Applebloom is actually quite fine.”, Pocket Pair said earning an eye roll from Princess. “But still, I’m not the type to just get with her for the sake of getting with her, and everyone knows that. And besides, even if I were that scenario wouldn’t play out because first off I know for a fact Applejack’s family doesn’t own a shotgun to chase me with. And even if they did, I would still not be in any danger because I’ve seen Big Mac at school and he’s super laid back all the time. Heck, he’s so laid back I truly believe that I could actually screw Applebloom and he wouldn’t do anything.”

“Mow ow,” Princess s`aid.

“How much money do I bet?” Pocket Pair said nervously. “Uh, I was just being figurative when I said that,” a statement which eared another eye roll from Princess.  “But anyways,” he continued, “the point is that given the context of her family environment, Applejack’s story makes no sense. And thus, this means that like Ralph, she is just lying to my face and since friends don’t do that, she is clearly not my friend and is at best only an acquaintance. And it’s a real shame too. I was really starting to like her for a while. And I mean REALLY starting to like her, to the point where I actually considered asking her out a couple of times. Heh,” he said laughing to himself, “Shows what I know about love and romance eh Princess.” He said.

However, he then stopped short and said “Wait a minute! Love and romance, of course. That could be the solution to my friendship problem. If I could find a girlfriend, they would: spend time with me, talk to me, make plans with me, love me, respect me, support me on what I find passionate.  It would actually be like having a good friend who valued me as a person. Why didn’t I think of this before Princess? If I could find a girlfriend this year I might finally be on the way to where I want to be in life.” HE then looked ahead eagerly and said “And I have JUST the girl I want to ask in mind.”

“Mow ow?” Princess said.

“Who is she,” Pocket Pair said. “Well,…. I honestly don’t feel comfortable naming them directly right now. However, what I will say is that she’s nice, concerned, considerate, selfless, prides herself on her generosity, and just between you and me, her ass… ooh my god, what a glorious piece of work that is.” A statement which earned yet another eye roll from Princess. He continued and said “All in all, she can only be described as well… a Rarity. And if I can get her to go out with me, I might finally be satisfied,” he said, before he slumped down and said, “but what are the chances that would happen?”

“Mow ow?” Princess said.

“Why wouldn’t she go out with me,” he said. “Well for starters, I have no job and won’t be getting one anytime soon, I don’t have my license yet, I have no friends, I have no life outside of school, I tilt sometimes at poker…”

“Mow ow” Princess said.

“Ok I tilt a LOT a poker.” Pocket Pair said, before adding “whose side are you on anyways?”

“Mow ow,” Princess said.

“Maybe,” Pocket Pair said. “In any case I clearly have a lot of flaws, and I’ll be honest, I’m not even entirely sure that I like myself. Why on earth would I expect a hot perfect fashionista like HER to like me? I mean after all, I bet she has men lined up down the street dying to ask her out who are far more popular and better off than I am. Why would she choose me out of all of them?”

“Mow ow,” Princess said.

“Yeah that is true,” Pocket Pair said, “I am nice and I do have a knack for being able to make people laugh... But even so, I highly doubt she would be willing to overlook my major shortcomings just because I’m nice and can make her laugh. Heck, I have my doubts as to whether she’d even so much as give me the time of day, given my current social standing and all. No, if I am to have any chance with her, I’ve got to ask out some other girls first, work my way up the social ladder a bit, and improve my reputation. Maybe then she wouldn’t turn me away the moment I said hi to her.”

“Mow ow,” Princess said.

“Deceptive?” Pocket Pair said. “It won’t be deceptive. I’ll only ask them out for one date before I move on, nothing more.  That way, none of them will get too attached me and won’t give a second thought when I don’t ask them out for a second date. Heck, they’ll probably be happy more than anything else that I’m not asking them out for a second date, what with all my issues and all.” However, he then sighed and said “But thinking of that brings up another problem. In all my years on this planet I’ve never so much as asked anyone out, let alone gotten them to say yes. I mean it’s not like I haven’t WANTED to, because I always have. But my problem is that, due to my lack of experience and not having any wingmen to back me up, every time I attempt to approach someone I never have any idea what I’m going to say or how to even start talking to them, and as such I get cold feet and bail. What’s to say I won’t just do that again this school year?” he said looking around dejectedly.

However, he then noticed his computer and said, “Of course, the internet. While I may not have experience, other people do, and I’ll bet anything that if I look around enough online I can find and read some of their experiences and see what the dating demographic is like so I have a better idea of what I’m up against. Then, after reading enough of them. I can compare and contrast the techniques they used and see which approaches didn’t work, which ones did, and how well they did. Then, once I’ve compiled enough techniques which work really well, I can combine them into one grand master plan and be GUARANTEED to win over any girl I talk to.”

“Mow ow,” Princess said.

“Oh of course it’s that simple” Pocket Pair said. “I mean these are high school girls we’re talking about here, the demographic notorious for being the most easy to get with. I highly doubt winning them over is going to be like rocket science.” He said reaching over and grabbing Princess off the bed.  He then sat down with her in his chair and said “In any case I hope you used the litterbox recently Princess, because I can guarantee we’re in for a long night,” before he reached for his mouse and moved it to take his computer out of sleep mode. He then opened Google Chrome on his computer and typed ‘men’s dating stories’ into the search box and began the process of constructing his plan for success…

Monday August 17, 3:00 AM

“Ugh, what is that,” Pocket Pair’s father said as he noticed light coming into their room. “Sher, did you forget to turn the light off AGAIN?”

“No, it’s probably YOU who forgot to turn the light off, “ Pocket Pair’s mother said, “after all, you’re always playing dice with buddies. You probably were playing and fell asleep before you could remember to turn off the light.”

“Oh really,” he said sitting up, “Well at least I don’t have a literally a ton of paperwork in the basement keeping it from ever being clean like you do,” Pocket Pair’s father said.

“Oh, here you go about this again, “ his mother said, “I told you, those are essential records for cases I’ve covered in the past ten years, and if I got rid of even a single one…”

“You’d be at a loss in the one in a million chanc3e you actually needed it,” his father said sarcastically,” yada yada yada, always the same excuse with you. That’s why our house is a mess.” He said as he looked down the hallway and saw the light was coming from his son’s room. “uh, I should have known,” he said,  “the light is coming from Victor’s room. I’m guessing he stayed up late playing his silly poker game again. Doesn’t he know school starts in like three hours?”

“Probably, “his mother said, “but just in case he doesn’t, you make sure to ask him when you go check on him,” she said as she rolled over and tried to go back to sleep.

“What!,” his father said ,” but this time is your time to check on him.”

“That may be, “his mother said,” and I would have done it, but then you said something about me being a hoarder just now and it did not do wonders to help my motivation to get up right now.”

“Grrr, ” his father said getting up,”  ok fine, I’ll do it this time, but you owe me for this. The next time I auction a coin on Heritage you had better help me advertise it and proofread its description without any whining moaning or complaining or else.” he said, before he left the room and went down the hall to check on his son. Upon entering his son’s room, he saw him on the computer and said “Victor, go to sleep.”

“Oh, hi dad,” Pocket Pair said turning to face him nervously, “what are you doing up right now?”

“I should be asking you the same question.” his dad said, “Don’t you have any idea school starts tomorrow, or rather today, since it’s 3:00 in the morning.”

“Well I uh…” Pocket Pair stalled, “ I do. In fact I’m working on a project for school right now. It just sort of took longer than I anticipated to finish it…. A few hours longer.”

“Ok fine, I guess that’s at least a legitimate reason to be up ,.. sort of, “ his dad said. “But since it’s three now, you need to get off the computer and go to sleep. You can always finish it tomorrow.”

“NO, “ Pocket Pair shouted, before he covered his mouth.

His dad then raised an eyebrow and said “why not?”

“Because… “ Pocket Pair said, “it’s…. it’s kind of…. It’s just really important that ‘I finish this BEFORE school actually starts. And besides, I’m literally almost done now. No point in not finishing when you’re 99% of the way there right?”

“Hm, well when you put it that way….” his dad said, “alright, I guess I’ll let you finish this project.” He said turning back towards the door and taking a few steps causing Pocket Pair to sigh in relief. However, he then turned back to him and said “but be warned, I better not catch you still on that thing in thirty minutes or else it will be gone tomorrow. Capiche?”

“Got it” Pocket Pair said.

“Ok then good night then Victor,” his dad said leaving the room and shutting the door.

“Phew,” Pocket Pair said, “That was close. If he has gotten any closer he might have seen my master plan” he said as he grabbed Princess off his lap and put her on the bed, waking her up in the process.

“Mow ow,” Princess said.

“Oops, sorry about that.” Pocket Pair said, “Hopefully you weren’t having too good a dream.”

“Mow ow,” Princess said.

“Yeah, that does sound good,” Pocket Pair said somewhat regretfully, before saying “but hey, at least now that you’re awake, I have someone to explain my plan to.”

“Mow ow,” Princess said.

“Yes it will be good. Now just give me one second to get the research…” Pocket Pair said as he printed his research from his computer and then shut it off. He then grabbed the paper from his printer and turned to face Princess as he held it in front of himself. “Ok,” he said, “here’s what I found. From browsing the stories on sites like yahoo answers, playersoftheyear.net, and bag50anight.com, it appears that girls on the whole are very shallow, and many of them will only consider dating a guy if they have: higher education, a large and stable income, good looks, assets, and physical endowment, which comes as no surprise to me since I always suspected it to be the case before. However, one thing I was surprised to learn is the fact that, even though many girls are shallow in that way and want those sorts of things from their mate, there is one thing men consistently found them to want even more from them, a good personality.”

“So,” Pocket Pair said, “since ‘good personality’ is a very vague term, I did some further research to figure out just what personalities girls viewed as ‘good’, and based on the stories and life experiences from other men which can be found on getlaid2nite.com and seabearsandfairytalesarereal.net, I inferred that the best personality in the eyes of a girl is one where the man listens to them, supports them emotionally, and above all else, always tells them they’re right no matter what. So, using this information, I constructed the perfect master plan, which I will tell to you right now. I will approach girls and act like a Myron from now on, and will always tell them they’re right regardless of if the actually are and I will listen to whatever they have to say no matter how outlandish it may be. In doing so, I should be able to get in good with any girl I choose, and over time should be able to use dates with select individuals to boost my popularity and make myself more desirable. Eventually, after I’ve boosted myself high enough, I will use this plan to woo my crush, and once she says yes, which she will, we will date and live happily ever after s best friends and lovers. So what do you think?” he said turning towards Princess.

“Mow ow,” Princess replied.

“Bad idea!?” Pocket Pair said,” how on Earth can this be a bad idea? I spent several hours looking up information on the most credible sites around to create this plan. How can you say it’s bad?”

“Mow ow,” Princess said.

“Ok maybe seabearsandfairytalesarereal.net can be stupid sometimes”, Pocket Pair said, “but it’s also dumb so… wait, I mean. Gah, it’s not dumb, stupid SpongeBob tripping me up. I meant to say that what they say on there and all the other sites I checked for that matter makes total logical sense. After all, I myself like to be told I’m right and have someone I can talk to in my time of need, why should girls feel any different?”

“Mow” Princess tried to say, but was cut off.

“Oh what do you know anyways?” Pocket Pair said. “You’re a female domestic shorthair cat. I’M the human here, and as such I think I know a little bit more about the dating game than you do Princess. And as for this plan, I’m sticking with it because with its sound logic and backing by countless other men’s experiences there’s no way it can possibly fail. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to head to the bathroom and brush my teeth.” he said as he exited the room and went to the bathroom.

Upon reaching the bathroom, he got out his toothbrush and said “ heh, bad idea? What does she know about dating anyways? This plan is perfect. It took into account everything that worked with many other men as suggested by their online stories. How on Earth could it possibly fail when that’s the case?” He said as he put his toothpaste on his toothbrush.  However, he didn’t brush as a new thought popped into his head and stopped him.

“But wait,” he said, “while I know for a fact this plan is great in principal, one thing I don’t know is whether or not it gives girls the wrong impression about me when I use it on them. I mean after all, if using this plan gives women the impression all I want from them is nookie, (even though I really do want that a lot), then it honestly doesn’t matter how well thought out it is, in the end I’ll still be screwed if I use it. Well actually, on second thought no I’m not screwed, in fact I’m anything but screwed, because if I deter everyone before I can even get a date with them, then there’s no chance I’ll actually get laid by using this plan. If only I could get a second opinion on this plan, besides of course that of Princess, but who can I even tell this to? Certainly not my parents or my sister; that would be way too awkward.  GRRRR, this is where having actual friends would come in handy. But all I have is those lousy acquaintances Ralph and Applejack? What am I supposed to do here?” He said in frustration.

However, his frustration waned after he thought about the issue a little more. “You know,” he said, “now that I think about it, maybe telling Ralph and Applejack about this might not be the worst idea after all. I mean I know they’re not my friends or anything, but at least they won’t tell my parents if I tell them my plan like my sister would. And what’s more, they’re far more likely than anyone else I know to at least hear me out on this thing…. Well at least Applejack is” he said and thought a few more seconds.

Finally, after a few more seconds he stopped thinking and said “yes, talking it over with Ralph and Applejack is what I’ll do.  And since I have the same lunch period as them this year I should be able to talk with them about this at lunch tomorrow. However, just to make sure they remember in case I don’t, I better send them a text right now,” he said as he whipped out his cellphone. He then composed a text message that said “need to talk to you tomorrow at lunch. IMPORTANT!” before he sent it to both of them separately and then finished brushing his teeth.

After finishing the skirmish against plaque, Pocket Pair headed back towards his bedroom and put his phone on his dresser. However, before he got into bed, he was surprised to hear his cellphone vibrate on the dresser. “Odd, who could that be?” he said as he picked up his phone and brought up the screen. Much to his surprise, he saw the source of the vibration was a text message to him from Applejack. “Hmm, what is this now?” he said as he opened the text message and read it.

“Howdy! I got your message and responded as soon as I saw it. Everything ok?” Applejack said.

Pocket Pair, irritated at being delayed form slumber, hit the respond button and typed a message that said “First off, what are you doing up at this time of night?” before he sent it to her.

She quickly responded and said “yeah about that. Applebloom was having trouble sleeping and she wanted her big sister to help sleep. You know how younger sisters are. Well anyways I went to help her get to sleep, and needless to say it took a little longer than expected for her to actually fall asleep, hence why I’m up right now. But regardless, enough about me, what did YOU want to talk about?”

“Ugh,” Pocket Pair said, “enough questions” before he typed in a response that said “I don’t feel like explaining this now.” And sent it to her. However, before he could even put his head on the pillow and attempt to go to sleep, he received another response from Applejack which caused him to jump up and shout “OH MY GOD, WHAT NOW!” as he got up and checked his phone again.

“Sugarcube please,” Applejack said, “Don’t shut me out again. I know you’ve been hurt in the past but I’m here for you now. You can trust me. I’m your friend. Now please, can you let me know what’s going on?”

Pocket Pair stared wide eyes at the phone, and began to shake uncontrollably. Then, before he could stop himself, he brought back his arm and chucked his phone against the wall in sheer rage. “OH MY GOD,” he said, “DO YOU REALLY THINK I’M THAT DUMB? I MEAN HONESTLY, IT’S BAD ENOUGH YOU STOPPED INVITING ME AND STARTED TALKING ABOUT ME BEHIND MY BACK, BUT NOW YOU HAVE THE GALL TO ACT LIKE YOU STILL CARE ABOUT ME BY CALLING ME SUGARCUBE AND SAYING YOU’RE MY FRIEND?! I KNOW WHAT’S REALLY GOING ON HERE! YOU’RE JUST TO FOOL ME INTO OPENING UP AGAIN SO YOU CAN HURT ME MORE. WELL GUESS WHAT ‘SUGARCUBE’, I’M NOT GOING TO FALL FOR THAT SHIT AGAIN BECAUSE I’M NOT AS STUPID AS YOU THINK I AM.” He said, before calming down and putting his head on the pillow.

“God I hate my life.” He said as a tear streamed down his cheek. “Parents who don’t listen, acquaintances who pretend to care. I really hope this plan works because I really can’t stand this any longer. I need a good friend for once because I’m a good person and deserve a good friend.  And maybe if I can get a girlfriend I will finally get the friend I deserve. Maybe then I won’t always feel so alone,” he said as he stroked Princess a couple times before he stopped and closed his eyes. “And maybe then I will finally be happy,” he said before he drifted off to sleep.