Gummy's Quest of Futility

by DuskQuill700

Rating: mature
Tags: Owlowiscious, Main 6, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Dark, Tank, Comedy, Gummy, Random, Slice of Life
Length: 2600

Follow an episodic recounting of Gummy's mind as he comprehends his cognitive reasoning skills and look at the world around him. His quest of being a gator of his own making within a world dominated by Gods.

Follow the thoughts and philosophies of Gummy as he explores the limits of his hubris and the world around him. Depressions, existential break-downs, animalistic nature, Nihilism, and the thirst for answers drives this toothless alligator as he goes through the fruitless and futile quest of becoming a reptile of his making.

What will the next day bring to the cold-blooded wanderer of life as he tries to discover who he is? One will never know, until the future brings itself to challenge him.

Published 2015-07-21 19:50:01 UTC
Last updated 2015-12-12 20:54:04 UTC

Prologue: I Have No Teeth, Yet I Must Bite

Day in and day out it is always the same. Stuck on this pedestal of gaudy paint on wood looking over this vast expanse of emptiness taken residence by the towers of wood that had fallen to serve the needs of the creatures that lord over this realm. And I, a mere bauble in the eyes of one such creature, just stand here...watching...observing...always watching and observing.

This thing, one of those that I have called Gods, pranced about to and fro humming some mind-numbing tune as if all day was well and sweet. You would not believe on sight how often disasters of various levels were prevalent around here with how genuine and sincere it was its merriment. I know not what this God does, for their actions are always mysterious to my mind.

It fiddled with things and tools beyond my grasp of understanding. It makes me wonder if my brain could ever handle these concepts so foreign. Maybe my mind was as handicapped as my mouth? These questions hound and confound me so.

“Gummy! Keep an eye on this batter for me while I prep the oven, okay? Gotta make sure it’s all nice and stirred for the baking!”

The shrill voice of this God always have a way to interrupt my thoughts, it was annoying. But it was something I grew accustomed too since the insufferable day of my hatching. The first day I began this journey called a life, still not sure of my purpose or my desires. All I have known is this constant state of confusion and seemingly endless searching for answers. These creatures that prance about day to day offer no solutions, only more questions, and more opportunities for me to loathe my birth as such a miserable wretch.

But curiosity strikes me further as I watched this...this thing flounce about without a care in this world. This world where its own kind enslave and abuse not only its lands, but it’s very sky and soul. Their politics not caring for such debaucherous and chauvinistic exhibitionism of their unnatural might and prowess.

Even as it fiddles with some contraption, as it did on a day to day basis, all I could see is the object of my ire. And it made me lick my eye to remind myself of the sour and stinging taste and sensation of the accursed sight of such a monstrosity. The image it so proudly wore on its bright pink hindquarters. Those damnable balloons it calls a “cutie mark”.

Cold-blooded I maybe...but my blood boils just looking at it.

As this God came back to reclaim its thick, horrifying looking container of strange and alien substance, the age old instinct came back to me. This always happened when my wrath becomes heated by the things that make my scales itch, these cutie marks. My mouth salivates as my animalistic instinct to kill and eat tries to take my senses. It’s another curse I must bare, as I struggle to not succumb to such base impulses...but sometimes,they simply become too much.

In a blind fury, I lose control of my being and mind as I open my mouth and launch forward. I work any inch of flesh I could possibly snap at, using every ounce of strength I have to deliver kill blow after kill blow. My mind imagined blood spurting, flesh ripping, and bones snapping as I succumb to my nature as a cold-blooded being only wanting a meal to feast upon and my adversary destroyed…

“Hehehehehe, Gummy! That tickles! Play time is later, silly.”

But alas, my handicap brings me back to torturous sanity and away from the bliss of delusion. I just hang there, uselessly snapping at the tail of the giggling God that mocks my attempts of freedom.

A metaphorical tear escape the vast expanse of my azure eyes...for I have no teeth, yet I must bite.

Author's Note

Just a shortie but a goodie to give an idea of what to expect in the actual chapters. I hope I don't disappoint anyone with future entries.

1: Curse of Insignificant Existence

“C’mon, Gummy! Shake it like you mean it! Show these silly fillies how to do it!”

Once again, I see myself at the center of this farce of a good time. At least, that’s what these Gods have called it. “Party”, “dancing”, “celebration”...yet more frivolous and needless merriment within this confusing and problematic world. I suppose it is how they cope, forcing themselves into these moods of hysteria, begging on the inside that it will never end so they don’t have to back to constant misery and boredom of their everyday lives.

I wonder how they would do in my scales? Just sitting here...staring...watching. Living their very fears as I think and ponder the actions of these Gods, trying to find some point in their fruitless attempts of lives that just don’t make any sense to me. It might be my brain which I fear might be as undeveloped as my teeth, but the concept of these things’ philosophies escape my comprehension.

They just danced around me like fools, shaking their hips, bobbing their heads, and swaying their bodies as if trying to imitate pukingly bright liquid. The movements of their fleshy, scaleless bodies both disgust and intrigue me. It made me question my own intentions and views of these Gods...and how much worth they have as masters of this world, or as my next dinner that will never come.

Their whoops and whinnies of excitement and enjoyment rang in my mind as they fully indulged themselves in this seemingly carnal delight. And I just watch as their bodies twist and ripple, their forms taunting me, as if showing off and rubbing into my snout the freedom and energy they so take for granted. My tail wags in frustration as my ever wandering eyes feasted upon their flesh, envious of their nubile and liberating bodies.

My mouth drools in yearning as they just danced...the ecstasy-driven celebration bringing chaos of sounds and sights all around me. A cacophony of ill-timed hooves on the wooden floor and the shrieking of the music pains my mind. These Gods love these tortures so...what has this one little alligator done to deserve such a treatment?

I once again lick my eye, my tic of frustration and anger, as I watched these warm-blooded creatures tease and insult me with their more energetic bodies.

“Pinkie, you’re parties just keep getting better and better!”

“Simply fabulous, my dear! A party always worth the ages.”

“Thanksies! But no one parties harder than Gummy!”

I despised each and everyone of these Gods. Their mockery of my inabilities make my cold blood boil and make me crave for their comeuppance. The red vision of my bloodlust once more crept at the edge of my sight. But this time, I am able to keep it back as I only desire to continue rumination...despite the distractions from these vile creatures.

What were they even hoping to accomplish with this...this debauchery? A brief, finite moment of bliss in an eternity of infinite misery and futility. The macabre of this act was almost palpable, almost as tasty as the flesh of the God who reigns over me. The very being who had earned the majority of my wrath as she seemingly mistakes my intentions on purpose and mock me with her lascivious lifestyle.

In the midst of my inflection, I have forgotten to keep myself moist...the surface land that I had grown accustomed to playing harsh games upon my scales. Managing to slither my way through the miniature-throng of Gods surrounding me, I had made it to the confectionery table. Yet another lifeless product of the death of a wood tower made to fit the whims of these creatures. And all these bright and sugary looking treats and refreshments that looked as disgustingly vibrant as the creatures who made them. These Gods and their attraction to these bright colors confound me so...my base nature warning me to not bother, for bright colors meant a painful and slow death.

Death, maybe through the icy embrace of such a harsh mistress will I find actual peace. A thought I have contemplated upon countless times and yet came with no results...what is it with such a topic that brings me to just more questions and no answers?

Saving that internal debate for another day once again, I had used my claws to make my up onto the table and headed towards the invisible container holding the sweet bliss of water. However, as always...my instinct would call it water, though it was anything but. Upon going into the container, the sugary dosed liquid made my scales itch more from the irritation.

These Gods and their trickery...even tainting the very habitat I call my own. What would I kill for once for a real pond or swamp, and not the artificial and temporary pool from the cold, pristine womb. Sadly, these were among the many things not blessed upon me within my life of curses.

“Awww! Look girls! Wittle bwitty Gummy is going for a swim!”

“In the punch again? C’mon!?”

“Very uncouth...but, I suppose is still adorable to look at.”

The day my handicap becomes no more is the day you all shall regret your transgressions. My miserable existence is made worse than death itself thanks to you Godly jesters who make joke and mockery of my struggles.
My death-cold blood runs hot as molten iron in anger and embarrassment. My scales itch and burn from the liquid around me...but yet I stay for it’s the only sensation I can indulge myself in.

Curses upon my insignificant presence of hubris, for it does me no benefit...only suffering.

Author's Note

This one a bit more lengthy, though by a whole page. But, things getting a bit heavier and we're just getting started! Stay tuned for the next chatper

2: The Abyss That Refused to Stare Back

The sun pleasantly burned against my scales, the dirt beneath my claws soft and pliable. Truly, optimal conditions for the sensations. Though, my hearing could use a bit of help, for the gods have found providence to whisk me away from my ruminating and pondering to bring me outside with the other of their slaves. These plebeians whom I find no camaraderie in for a myriad of reasons.

They’re all just frolicking about as if all was right with the world. Their horrendously underdeveloped minds unaware of the insignificance of their own existences. They don’t stop to question, they don’t seek for answers. Driven by their own instincts and base desires; very little else drives them through life.

From my scale-cousin that defies nature through unnatural means, to the unsympathetic beast of white fur. The brain dead herder mutt to the demon of white fur. I sense a correlation with white fur being indicators to beasts of unimaginable malice, though that would be attempting color theory, a thing I lack in experience.

Though, I must say, there is one I found some sense of intellectualism amongst us slaves. One that I yearn to have even some slight miota of conversation with, just even a mere skirmish of dialogue.

A perfected specimen of avian blood, a creature of night with eyes as wide as the infinite abyss of my curiosity. I can see it in those eyes of his, those orbs having the look of a thick locked door that I simply lacked the key to open them.

This was common practice for us. We just stand here and look at each other, gazing into each other’s eyes...as if feigning a conversation that will never be. And it didn’t help that we have made habit of being absolutely still, giving no indication of thought to one another. No body language, no expressions...just, dead staring. I only have small, maybe naive, hope that he is only as thirsty for discussion as I am.

I mean, how could he not be? Everytime we come out for our gods to mock freedom in our faces we just stare at eachother. Surely, There must be something that we have in common, something I can find in someone else that I find in me. For the sake of my sanity and my drive that he was just like me, in some sort of fashion….if these gods had any benevolence in them, they would have made us alike. But it only shows how much cruelty is within them to not allow us to speak to each other.

I got myself onto a rock after awhile, the coolness of the ground and the heat of the sun above was not doing well for my system. I figured it was time to fully sunbath with something warm beneath me. But there he stayed, in the tree above, gazing down upon me with those wide, empty eyes that I could not look past for the life of me. How maddening it is to see those dark eyes look at me, the only keys I could ever have to getting any answers to this existence.

Oh how I crave for discussion...exploration. So close yet so far to enjoy the company of one who might be my equal in this sadistic life. How I wish for once, you can just say something, my avian companion. Just one thing that can save my sanity…

“Hoo…”

What was that? Did you actually speak? Please, say it again!

“Hoo…”

“Who?” What does that mean, feathered one? Scholar of the sky, I need more than just a one word question!

“Hoo.”

Was I wrong all along? Did those abysses of possibly infinite knowledge deceive me? Can this creature only conceive the thought of one word? Or...does it mean something else?

“Hoo!”

Yes...maybe, maybe...Yes! Who!? The sources of all my problems, and maybe the answers to all my questions. Could he mean the gods? Or maybe I should consider others as possible sources of discovery…

“HOO!”

I think it’s making more and more sense to me now. Maybe...maybe there are angles to these burning inquiries than I thought. Some alternate thought processes that I should consider and-

“HOOOO!”

I get it! I get it now! But please, allow me time to-GAH!

Damned imbeciles frolicking about with near limitless energy! I’m now back to the tree with several pounds of reptile and some sort of mammal on me. Though, I think now I see what my friend was really doing...he wasn’t guiding me down a path to the enlightenment I so desperately need. But merely, warning me of the stupidity of standing still while the others played.

I have stared long into the abyss, hungry for knowledge and thirsty for answers. Only to be denied any of the sort and cast back to the chasm of desolate curiosity and ignorance. This abyss...refused to stare back.

Author's Note

Yeah...really long time to be adding this chapter in finally. But for a good reason! School started to become hectic with taking my time and been having issues with a broken laptop, manged to get a new one and got back to work! This baby got whipped up as fast as I could and I'm already in the process of the next chapter. That one should be done by some point this month, hopefully. I'm doing what I can to keep a more scheduled update on the chapters, but I'm doing what I can. Enjoy, nonetheless, those that actually read my schlop.