Author's Note
I changed it up because most didn't like Nathans original reaction. Hope this is more to everyone's taste.
Mr.Mech~
Chapter 1 The Intrusion
My name is Nathan McLeod. I am 27 years old and have had a very successful life..... until now. I have a masters in Aeronautical engineering and I am currently co-cheif of engineering for Nissan. I am also the head of my family gym and have a very solid bank account, and here is my tale of woe.
I am driving home in my modified Nissan GTR listening to some awesome music when I get an alert on my phone. Apparently, someone is breaking into my house. So I step on it and race home as fast as I can. When I get there, I stop.
My house was broken into on the second floor, but there is no ladder or scaffolding. But the window is open sure enough. So I unlock the door and creep in.
I laugh at the fact that I am basically breaking into my own house. So as I look around I see the fridge open with all my veggies gone, and my stove boiling a pot of water. I turn it off and head into the living room. And when I get there I am FURIOUS. There is a smoking hole in my TV and smaller holes on my couch. I look at the couch and see... hoofmarks? I shrug it off and head upstairs. I have an intruder to find.
I slink upstairs and see the bathroom trashed. Shower curtain on the floor, water running, and it smells like cologne. Then I noticed that my bedroom door was open and as I crept forward I heard... snoring? I entered my room and was this close to passing out.
Laying there, on my bed, asleep, was a rainbow haired pegasus. Since I didn't pass out, I went to investigate. It was white with rainbow hair and Sun tattoos? When I reached it I dared to poke it. No response. So I touched it's wings.No response. As I went on rubbing it's wings I noticed... This thing has a HORN!!! So it's a pega-unicorn? I started to rub it's horn and mumbled "Is there really a pega-unicorn on my bed?" To my horror it opened it's eyes and said "Actually, it's an Alicorn." And shocked my hand off it's horn, then kicked me in the head.
As I fell back I saw a darker one run up and I said "Goodie, another one." Then proceeded to pass out.
I woke up to the sound of muffled arguing. I opened my eyes to see to generously curved women bickering about something across my bedroom. Me, being the idiot I am said "So are you two Cosplayers or something?"
They both stopped and stared at me. "I say we lock him in the dungeon." The blue one said.
"I don't HAVE a dungeon!!"
"Then what is that floor below this one!?" She shouted.
"That's a BASEMENT!"
"WHAT IS A BASEMENT!?" She shouted. I ignored her.
Ok, now my memory is coming back. I came home, someone broke in, I walked into my bedroom.... I started to mumble. "Ok, it was a dream. That's why I'm in bed. I just have a headache from work. I-
Then I noticed that I was tied to my bed... "WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON!?!? AND WHY AM I TIED TO MY BED!?" Then it clicks. "AND WHERE IN THE FUCK IS THAT WHITE PEGA-UNICORN!?!?"
"It's ALICORN." They both said. "And I am still trying to figure out how to punish you." The white one said.
"Punish me? For what?" I asked.
"For sexually harassing me." She replied.
I waited for her to crack a smile. Or giggle. Or roll her eyes or ANYTHING! But she just stood there. And stared. At me.
"Ok..... Mind telling me why I am tied to my bed?"
"Because you are a threat!" The blue one blurted. "And you must be restrained."
"A threat to who?" I asked, annoyed.
"To royalty." She said.
I looked around the room, trying to see if there was anyone else in the room. I didn't see anyone so I said "What royalty?" And they both looked at me like I just slapped them. "Hello~. Earth to weirdos, anybody home?"
They both walked out of the room and I caught bits and pieces of the argument.
"Do? Do you think? Very. Others? Kill him."
Okay, now I was worried. I got curious at others, but kill him? They walked in and stared at me with blank expressions. It stayed that way for a couple minutes until the white one spoke.
"We are going to question you and you will answer." She stated.
"And what if I refuse?" I asked.
"Then I will let my sister decide what follows." She said. Her sister just glowered. *gulp*
"First question: Who are you?"
"My name is Nathan McLeod. I am 27 years old and I live alone."
"Second question: Why were you harassing me?"
"I... don't understand. I've never seen you before."
"Yes you have." She said. And she waited. Eventually she just sighed and there was a bright flash of light, and when it died down, I was stunned. Standing there, was that white FUCKING ALICORN!
"You- I- WHAT!?!?" I raved, and passed out again. Damn Nathan, twice in one day.
____
I woke up again to see not one, but TWO alicorns standing in front of me. This time I just remained silent. "Do you have anything to say for yourself?" The darker one asked.
I simply stared and said "My turn." The two tensed up as they thought I was about to do something.
"First question: Who are you?" I asked this time.
"YOU ARE NOT IN A POSITION TO QUESTION US MORTAL!!!" The blue one screamed.
Once my ears stopped ringing I looked at them and said "If I don't get at least three answers, I won't say another thing, and I'll have you taken care of."
The blue one scoffed "How so?"
"Or I activate the security system in my home and wait for the police to come, report you, and have the military come and capture or kill you. Then, if they go with the former, one of you will be contained and studied, and the other will be dissected." I said with a cheery tone.
Silence.
"We are the rulers of Equestria. I am Princess Celestia, and this is my sister, Princess Luna." The white one said.
"Good start. Second: What are you?" I asked.
"We are Alicorns. The only two left in our land, Equus." Luna said.
"Alright.... One last one for now. Can I PLEASE be untied?" Luna tensed visibly.
"Can we be sure you are not a threat?" Celestia asked.
"Seeing how you tied me up, ransacked my food, and trashed my living room and bathroom, I'm not so sure just yet." I stated.
"Then I'm not so sure we can untie you just yet." She responded.
I looked at her and said "Then how about some leverage. You untie me, and I'll give you a place to stay for now."
They both were silent for a moment. "You'll let us stay along with our subjects?"
"How many are there?"
"Aside from us, eight." Luna said.
I thought about it. It would cost a lot for them to stay, but they could very well leave me tied up and let me starve to death. "Very well."
The ropes glowed and came undone, and I stood up. They were about 5 and a half feet tall, Celestia looking more 5' 9", not including the horns.
"Alright then, where are the others?"
"They are in the other building. The bigger one outside."
Now it was my turn to pale. "In my WORKSHOP!?!? NONONONONONONONONONONO!!!" And I dashed down the stairs toward my workshop. As I am running there I start to here noises. My equipment running, metal clanging, even some voices. I get there and there are seven little horses there. An orange blond-haired one, a cyan, rainbow - haired one? A purple black-haired one, two white ones, one with styled, purple hair and another with unkempt hair two different shades of cobalt. And the messy one has some nice shades. There was a cream colored one that hid behind it's pink hair, and a gray one with long black hair. I was about to walk up to them when a pink blur came from behind the building and tackled me, and I was on the ground. There was a pink horse on top of me and it said "Well hey there handsome!"
"NOPE!" I yelled and threw her off me. She just jumped up and pouted. "I'll get to you eventually." And hopped towards the rest.
It was then the others noticed me. There were... mixed reactions. The most noticeable being that of the rainbow one, who crashed and let out a string of mock swears that was pretty colorful.
"SON OF A MOTHER BUCKING DIRTY WHORSE ON SUNDAY AT THE BROTHEL FILLED WITH FILTHY, SHIT EATING PLOT WATCHERS!!!" And the fancy haired white one gasped and "fainted".
I would've been impressed if it were real curses. The rest of them stared at me. The orange one with contempt and the cream one with curiosity, but the rest were simply nervous. Then I looked at my workshop and almost passed out. Again. My workshop was in shambles. My tools were everywhere, one of the cars windshields was cracked, there was dirt EVERYWHERE. These things really know how to make a mess. Anywho, I was concerned. The rainbow one got up and started to actually walk towards me. I backed up a bit but she kept coming. When she reached me she stood about up to my chest. Me being 6 ft 2 meant she was about 4 and a half feet tall. "You look funny." She said.
"Well so do you Ms.Rainbow-Crash." I retorted. Apparently this was the wrong thing to say as she used her wings to knock me down and said "That's not me!" Meanwhile, everybody else is shocked that I can speak.
"Care to tell me why you ruined my workshop?" I asked coldly.
"Um, we're sorry Mr. We didn't mean to make a mess. We can clean it if you'd like." The cream one said .
I sighed and said "Fine, but later. As of now I am your unfortunate host, so am I going to have to ask the Princesses or are you all going to tell me your names?" And they all started firing questions at me.
"How do you know the Princesses?" "Where are they?" "Who are you?" "Can we see if you're a boy or girl?"
That... That threw me. And apparently everyone else as well. The pink one simply said "What?" And crawled into my old Charger. That kind of irked me. "Will you guys please stop touching the cars?" Them, apparently ALL trolls, walked up and touched the Charger, the old GTR, and my Yamaha FJ-09 with special Shinko 705 series Dual-Sport tires Just In Case. I simply sighed and said "Well, will you at least tell me your names?"
"Applejack. Twilight Sparkle. Rarity. PINKIE PIE! Rainbow Dash." Damn, got close with my insult. "Vinyl Scratch. Octavia." And there was a faint whisper at the end.
"I'm sorry what was that last one?" I said. "She said Fluttershy Darling. You'll have to forgive her, she,uh, matches her name." Rarity said.
"I see." It was now the Princesses decided to show up. They all bowed save for Twilight, who shouted "Princess!" And ran towards Celestia.
Exasperated I said "Just head into the house and I can figure out what to do with you."
"Come along My Little Ponies." Celestia said, and they filed into the house.
