Celestia's Harem

by Aegis Shield

Rating: mature
Tags: Original Character, Comedy, Adventure, Princess Celestia, Sex, Twilight Sparkle, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 12437

Twilight is introduced to Celestia's Harem, a group of three stallions with a series of very special... talents.

Twilight is introduced to Celestia's Harem, a trio of stallions with a series of very special... talents. With an empty room that shapes itself to the occupant's wants, and a bell to summon the boys whenever, what's a newly-crowned Princess to do? Being a Princess is a stressful job, after all...

Published 2015-07-21 13:40:02 UTC
Last updated 2015-08-07 18:56:18 UTC

Meeting the Boys

Celestia’s Harem
Part 1: Meeting the Boys

Princess Celestia poked her head into the greatroom, peering back and forth. “Hm, empty?” she said aloud. Straightening, she motioned to a red-faced Twilight Sparkle. Freshly ascended Princess Twilight Sparkle was not sure she was ready for what she was about to behold. “As you are a princess now, Twilight, you have access to all the perks and… delicacies,” Celestia decided carefully. “That come with such a position. Marriage can be a difficult thing, Cadence was quite lucky with your brother.” She pushed the door open with a wing to lead her in.

“Y-yeah,” Twilight said warily, swallowing. She peered about the room. It was at least fifty feet by fifty, and other than the balcony windows and plush blue carpet, completely bare. “Th… this is it?” she said, a little relieved and a little let down. “I was afraid of… of what I might see in here.” she said, not daring to voice it.

Celestia gave a light chuckle. “I thought you might like to meet them all first, it didn’t seem proper to just throw you among them and see what happened. That is a prank not even I am cruel enough to drop on you, Twilight.” The white alicorn went to a little side-table Twilight had not seen a moment before. “But I won’t lie to you either. I know you have a wonderful group of friends and then some but we’re both grown mares and… well, mares have needs. This is where we may come to indulge them.”

“N-needs?” Twilight said.

Celestia plucked a tiny silver bell from the waiting side-table, and rang it rather firmly. Three doors faded into existence on the far wall. “I call this the 'Room of Requirement',” the white alicorn said. “It becomes what we need, whatever thirst or itching want we may have, it tries to emulate.”

“Like… a kitchen for food? Or a bathroom?” Twilight asked as lights slowly began to flicker under each door. She was no school-filly. She knew a triple dimension-door spell when she saw one.

“Yes, that’s correct,” Celestia smiled, nodding. The other side of those doors could lead to anywhere in all of Equestria. Potent magic, indeed. Swallowing, she waited as patiently as she could for anypony to emerge. Celestia turned, closing the entrance door behind them. There were no guards waiting, nopony to hear them. Even that wing of the castle was forbidden to all but the most trusted staff and ponies.

“But nothing’s here!” Twilight protested, looking about the bare room.

“That’s because there are two of us here, Twilight. The room won’t pick one princess over another. That would be rude!” Celestia chuckled, patting her back with a wing. “But, since it is your first time here, why don’t you try it out?”

“How?”

“Try to imagine a comfortable place. A place that is all parts home and privacy.” Celestia coaxed gently. “Where you can let your mane down, feel the sun on your belly, or know the smell of fresh bread.” The day time princess watched Twilight screw up her face as though concentrating. “No no, don’t force it. Just feel it.” She hushed her voice down. “Let it flow over you like warm milk. Silky and smooth and comforting…” she trailed off, for the room was already warping around her.

The bare walls dimmed to a low shade of blue. The carpet darkened. Mahogany trim unrolled around the floor and ceiling. The door blushed a dark oak. A fireplace sprouted and frost tinted the windows. Laying pillows popped up everywhere. A long array of book-cases lined every single wall, save one corner that hosted a tiny fridge and coffeemaker. The temperature rose from the fire, and a hot scent of sugar and cinnamon touched their noses. Twilight opened her eyes. “Ohhh… wow….” She whispered after a time. “It’s just how I imagined it.”

“What is this place?” Celestia asked softly.

“My private library,” the bookish mare swooned. “The one I always dreamed of when I was little and I-!”

The first of the three doors opened, and a gruff-looking earth pony stallion emerged. “You called, Princess…es?” his eyes fell on Twilight, and he smiled. “Ah, I was wonderin’ when you’d show.” He gave a shallow bow, then a casual wave to the taller alicorn. “Cellie,” He said in greeting.

“Mountain Blood, the first of my harem,” Celestia introduced. The stallion was stubbled, built like a dump truck, and had a massive barrel. Brown as mud and tough as rock, he was certainly a wonderful example of his tribe.

“Coming! Coming!” a faraway-sounding voice was squeaking as it went. Twilight turned her head as the second door came open. She caught a flash of Cloudsdale beyond it as a second figure emerged. He was slender, white as snow and dainty as a ballerina. Twilight had never seen a more feminine-looking stallion before. “I’m here!” he announced. “Oop, hello there!” he entranced Twilight with his massive, doe-like eyes. “I finally get to meet you! I’m Feather Fall!” he bowed with all the grace of a blade of grass in an spring breeze.

“I met Feather Fall on a rather cold Hearths Warming, some time ago,” Celestia put in. “And I simply couldn’t let him go after that night. Such a tender thing…” the white alicorn actually pinkened in the cheeks a little. Twilight cocked her head, imagining the two swan-like ponies intertwined in the middle of a cold, cruel night in December—only their body heat to keep them warm and--!

“Yes yes! Quite! Coming Princess! I answer, as always!” A bookish looking unicorn stallion stumbled into the room, tripped over his own hooves on the archway and fell on his face. “Urmph!” was all he said. Twilight looked past him before he shut the door. That was Fillydelphia! “Present! Here! Accounted for!” he spotted the purple mare right away. “Ah yes! Princess Twilight Sparkle! I knew I would meet you eventually!” he pushed his massive glasses up his nose He looked, well, perfectly average to Twilight. Caramel in color, he had an adorable gathering of freckles on his face and a rather suave-looking mane-cut to accent his horn (which Twilight noticed was a left-spiral horn. How exotic!). “I am Caramel Column, from the original Archival Herd of ancient Equestria!” Twilight knew of that family. They were the oldest and most renowned library-opening family in the world. Their thirst for knowledge and joy to spread it was second to none.

“I think that’s everypony!” Celestia announced, smiling gaily. “Twilight, this is my harem. Harem, this is Twilight. She’s a Princess now, so she will be able to use your services whenever she likes.”

“Yes, Princess!” They chorused. Turning, they bowed to Twilight in unison. Twilight had the decency to blush and try not to check out their undercarriages. She knew what a harem was, but they were so… so casual about it all! Were they not in awe of she who brought the day, Princess Celestia?! Weren’t they supposed to… to fall all over themselves or something? Show respect and awe of her Majesty?! What about herself?! Twilight cocked her head, her tongue slowly slipping out to one side into a rather adorable thinking-expression. There was a long, rather awkward silence.

“…Looks like she’s processing all this,” Mountain Blood said gruffily, smirking on one side of his face and not the other. “Give her a second, y’guys.” They waited patiently. Then exchanged worried glances. Then looked at Celestia, who smiled a little apologetically. More silence. Twilight hadn’t moved.

“I think I’ll try my hoof at some breakfast, again,” Celestia said at last, to break the awkward quiet. The room morphed a corner of itself into a tiny kitchen. The harem chorused their praise. Celestia always made excellent breakfasts. “How do you like your eggs, Twilight?” One of Twilight’s eyes had derped to one side, and she was still unresponsive. Celestia’s brow knitted. “Twilight?” she asked a little louder.

“Twilight has gone bye-bye,” Mountain Blood decided, using the top of his head to push a sitting pillow up behind her. Feather Fall moved, ever the liquid grace of silver and white, to stand beside the purple mare. Using a positively angelic wing, he touched the top of Twilight’s hips and guided her rump into a sitting position. She didn’t move from there. “Interesting to see her weird quirks so quickly,” the earth pony harem member said, scratching his stubbled chin. “Does she do that often?”

“Now and then,” Celestia admitted over her shoulder, stirring a bowl of eggs with her magic. “Just don’t touch her face, she might jump-start and gore you with her horn.” This earned a laugh from all three stallions. The princess turned on a stove that had appeared from nowhere, and each stallion went to a dinner table that hadn’t been there a few minutes ago. It was made of warm colors, soft edges and fabric placemats. Deciding that scrambled eggs would fit everypony’s pallet, the white alicorn happily danced back and forth between each spot. Juice was passed out. Then eggs, toast, hash browns, and milk.

Twilight came out of her processing daze and blushed. “I did it again didn’t I?” she said softly. “Sorry!” she scampered to the table like a foal, finding a place next to Feather Fall. The feminine stallion smiled at her, his large doe-eyes working their magic. Twilight blushed at him, then carefully looked around the table. A tough guy, a feminine figure, and a sauve bookworm. “They’re like fetishes,” Twilight whispered louder than she meant to.

Celestia laughed, making Twilight’s face go scarlet as her hooves leapt to her mouth. The three stallions smirked, each flattered in his own way. “In a way, yes,” the white alicorn hovered plates to each place so they could all eat. “Each of these stallions represents a facet of equinity that I find, erm… appealing.” She smiled sideways. Each male smile grew.

“Hardly polite breakfast conversation though, Cellie,” said Caramel Column delicately.

“Well she’s gonna ask about it eventually!” Mountain Blood sprayed toast crumbs. “Let her ask now! So she won’t sit there and worry herself to death!”

“Y-You sleep with Princess Celestia whenever she asks?!” Twilight blurted before she could stop herself. There was polite nodding. “All three of you?!”

“Well not at the same time!” Feather Fall said indignantly. Then his expression faltered. “W-well, there was that one time—“ One of his spoons suddenly glowed gold and whacked him upside one of his ankles. “Owch!” Celestia coughed innocently, and the other two stallions hid their laughter from the red-faced princess.

“I think that was more wine than lust, Feather,” Caramel said gently, smiling as his fellow as he pushed his glasses up his nose. “What he means to say, Princess Twilight, is that we are whatever Princess Celestia needs us to be. Friends,”

“Bedfellows,” Mountain Blood put in, shoveling in more eggs as he spoke and reaching for the syrup.

“Or just listening ears.” Feather Fall recovered himself with a cough, folding his delicate wings to his sides. “Being a Princess, much less a world power like Princess Celestia or Princess Luna, can be very stressful. But at the end of the day they’re still mares. They need ponies that will treat them like, well, regular ponies.”

Mountain Blood locked eyes with Celestia, “Shit ass bitch fuck cunt neigh-hova’s witness bicycle-eater,” he said to her, pointing his spoon menacingly. Celestia rolled her eyes, chewing silently. “See? You always need somepony that’ll say anything to ya. Betcha never heard anypony talk to Cellie like that, neh?” he belly-laughed at the look of horror on Twilight’s face.

“That’s horrible! You’re horrible!” Twilight said, aghast at his potty-mouth.

“That’s my job, Princess,” Mountain Blood said, leaning back in his chair as he did so. “Somepony’s gotta keep you Princesses up with all the dirty jokes, limericks and such.”

“What he means to say is,” Feather Fall interrupted with a less-nice glance at Mountain Blood, “It’s not just the sex, Princess Twilight.” He smiled warmly. Something in Twilight’s heart and tummy quivered. “It’s about comfort. De-stressing. Happiness.” His long, angelic wing extended out and over her back. Her heart fluttered. “So if you need any of us, no matter what for, we’re here to make you happy. In any way we can.” He leaned and kissed the tip of her nose.

Twilight erupted into filly-giggles, her magic jolting her chair a few inches away from him. He looked a little apologetic at his forwardness. “I-I understand. Thank you, uhm, harem,” she said to them all. “I’ll keep you all in mind.”

All three stallions nodded. “Dun be afraid to come here and ring the bell, whenever your bells need ringin’.” Mountain Blood laughed and was punched in the shoulder by Caramel Column. “Er, and anything else, too.” He hastily added. Celestia smiled, shaking her head. She adored everypony at the table, but they were all just like foals sometimes.

"C-can you call me just Twilight then? I'm still getting used to the Princess bit," Twilight asked them. They nodded in unison, and Celestia smiled.

End of Part 1

Feather Fall

Celestia’s Harem
Part 2: Feather Fall

A strange, covered purple mare darted from corner to corner in the forbidden hall. She was wearing a mane-covering bonnet, huge sunglasses, and a long-cloak to cover her cutie mark. But it was hard to cover the bulge of wings and the point of the horn she had. A few guards gave her odd looks, but said nothing. Frankly, she looked like she was sneaking off somewhere… to a place only Princesses were supposed to go. There was some confusion, but no armored pony present was about to question it.

Twilight found the Room of Requirement. Looking one way, then the other, she saw she was alone. “H… hullo?” she asked, knocking. There was no answer. Feeling rather foolish, she pawed it open and stuck her head inside. She saw the ripple of magic replace the blank room with her warm, half-lit library. Sighing in relief that nopony was present, she slipped inside. Taking off her sunglasses, cloak, hood, and saddlebags, she hung them on the coat hanger that had sprung out of precisely nowhere. “Hullo?” she called again. “Oh right,” she turned to one side of the entrance door and touched the bell. Biting her lip, she weighed a few things on her conscience. Swallowing at last, she picked up the bell with her lips. Tink-a-link-a-ling. She paused and turned her head, perking her ears.

Only one door, not three appeared on the far wall. “Coming! Coming!” A faraway sounding voice echoed. The dimension-door spell connected, stabilized, then let light out from under it’s crack. Feather Fall, gorgeous feminine stallion that he was, poked his head in. “Oh it’s you, Princess Twilight!” he smiled. His doe-like eyes fluttered a few times as he slipped into the room and shut the door behind him. “I was afraid perhaps I’d scared you off the other day. I’m glad to see you!” His angelic wings spread wide in greeting, and the quiet male ego in the back of his head squirmed happily when Twilight’s eyes dashed back and forth to check them out. He turned his head, seeing nopony else present. “Just me? I’m flattered,” his voice turned sensual and whispy. “How many I be of service?”

Twilight was red-faced, bell still in her mouth. He waited for a time. The poor thing seemed to get over-stimulated now and then. Moving like a waving grass of grace, the stallion crossed the room and gently took it from her lips with his own. Setting it on the table next to her, he smiled when he saw her eyes following. “Y-you’re uhm… uhm… Feather Fall, right?” Twilight said lamely. He nodded, cocking his head a little. “I was wondering if… if uhm…” her face was getting redder and redder. Was she really going to do this? “If you give good back rubs?!” she blurted.

He tilted his head, smiling at her. “Of course I do. Come, get comfortable.” He offered one of the many laying pillows that were strewn about the room. Twilight settled like a great purple bird on a nest of plush blue fabric. “Easy, therrrre you go,” he cooed. She watched him carefully walk a half-circle around her, then settle next to her. “Tell me what’s on your mind?” he asked. “I’m a good listener, I promise.” His rather small hooves lifted to find her shoulder blades in her wing structure.

“It’s just been a long week, I-I guess,” Twilight said, rather tensed up now that she had a stallion rubbing on her at her command. “I’ve answered twelve-hundred and fifty-three friendship problem letters in the past week, they never stop coming in!”

His hoof found a knot and she let out a feminine groan, craning her neck down to bite the pillow. “Ah there it is,” he whispered sensually. Rearing up a bit further, he worked the muscle clockwise, then counter-clockwise. “You work very hard, my Princess, I know a lot of ponies count on you.” He praised softly. Twilight purred under all his rubbing, tail flicking about now and then. “Have you thought of maybe hiring a scribe? Or delegating councillers?”

“I could, but I don’t want ponies to think I’m just passing off their problems to somepony else!” Twilight murmured into the pillow. “I wanna be responsible for all my friendship duties.”

“No single pony can rule a nation and do every little thing herself,” Feather Fall stood on the pillow to pat-a-pat down her back until he found another knot. This was the back of a hunching bookworm, he knew. Leaning carefully, he pop-pop-popped a few choice places in her spine. Twilight yowled, all four legs shooting out from under her. Then her head tilted to one side like she was dead. She moaned in apprieciation, which made him smile.

“I-I know,” Twilight whispered. “It’s just really stressful… even my horn is sore, from moving the quill around for hours on end.”

“Ahh,” Feather Fall smiled rather genuinely. “I can apply my talents there as well.” He offered, lifting a leg and carefully standing over her. Twilight looked over her shoulder just in time for the stallion to lower himself onto her back like a mother hen.

“You’re so light!” Twilight blurted despite herself. The warm plush of his undercarriage made her not want to move, and the careful positioning of his legs kept her wings comfortably pinned to her sides. “How do you weigh so little?” she wanted to know.

“A harem stallion has his secrets,” he said, his eyes twinkling. “It’s Mountain Blood’s job to be firm, heavy and forceful. I’m the more tender touch.” He winked and her face colored.

“I-I see,” Twilight said, squirming a little and then resettling. He went on to rub at her neck, wings, and even hips. The warm weight of his body made its own friction. She could even feel his… well… boy bits, rubbing around up there on her back. He wasn’t aroused, but they were most certainly there. Hyper-aware of all the male attention, but still very much a putty-mare under his hooves, she could only lay there with the red in her cheeks and happily suffer.

“Now then,” Feather Fall settled himself, opening his angelic wings and bending them forward. “Let’s see about your poor horn.” Leaning forward until the majority of his weight was between her wings, he began to lightly dust her horn with his wings.

“Nyuh-HAH-huh?!” Twilight flinched at the bolt of pleasure that shot down her horn and scrambled her brain. “What is that?!” she said, flailing a little. He quickly moved and let her scramble away.

“O-oh sorry, I didn’t mean to startle you!” Feather Fall’s doe-like eyes went to their maximum softness. His pupils expanded, huge and soft. (Miles away, Fluttershy suddenly “Hynnnngh”d! as she felt the balance of cute in the world shift towards Canterlot for a few moments. She clutched at her heart, setting her teacup down to breathe for a moment.)

“H-hah-hah-It’s okay!” Twilight said, sweating from one of her temples. “I-I-I just didn’t expect… I-I-I mean the horn is a bone, so I shouldn’t be able to feel anything l-like that.”

The angelic white stallion sat on his haunches slowly. “Oh, I’m sorry. I should’ve asked permission first…”

“What was that?” Twilight wanted to know, trying to slow her breathing.

“A pegasus-touch,” he said. “You just seemed stressed and pent up, so I thought…” he trailed off a bit.

“M-maybe a bit slower?” Twilight offered, blushing as she made her way back to the pillow. He nodded, slipping back over her back and sitting upright. “Slow now, it’s a strange feeling…” she asked. Feathers criss-crossed as his wings closed over her horn. “H-h-h-h’ohmigosh….” Twilight stuttered, her heart revving up.

Feather Fall sat on her back for a long time, mingling his pegasus magic with her unicorn magic. Pegasi could move things that couldn’t normally be moved. Things like clouds, bodies of water, snow… but also the flow of magic. Those with the proper touch made wonderful masseuses, regulating the flow of magic to help a unicorn’s aches or pains. Cooing wordless songs while he worked, he watched Twilight’s trembling wings strain against his legs. Shifting a little so they could rise on either side of him, he smiled. For new wings they were certainly healthy-looking. Pegasi were flightless during lovemaking, but when they were flightless they wanted a LOT of sex, the harem stallion knew. Luna’s wingboners alone were legendary—Twilight would be no exception to the alicorn race.

“O-oh my…” Twilight whimpered, hunching a little in embarrassment.

“Shhhhh-sh-shhh…” Feather Fall coaxed. He could feel the massive wellspring of power in Twilight’s horn. It was certainly vast, as alicorn magic tended to be. But oh yes, there was straining there. A puttered-out endurance that had reached its end and turned sore. The poor thing. The stallion hunched a bit, pressing a bit harder on Twilight’s shoulders and letting his wings do the work.

“R-right there... r-right there! KYA’HHHH!” Twilight’s horn suddenly went off like a roman candle as two, three, four spurts of glittery magic erupted from her! The first shot struck the ceiling and clung there, and the other three went out over the carpet. He held her neck and head firmly so she didn’t hurt herself. The unrestrained magic was like a fiery orgasm, it wracked her body. Her muscles coiled, sweated… then went soft. The poor mare then face-planted with a moan, limp.

Feather Fall stared at the glittery magic on the ceiling with a face of awe. Wow! She’d been very pent up! When had she magiculated last?! The poor thing must’ve gone months!

“Ohmigosh,” Twilight’s wings lifted to hide her head under. “H-h-how embarrassing! I m-made a mess!” she said, ears turning back.

“Heyyyy, hey now,” Feather fall nosed at her wings back and forth. “I think you needed that. Look, it’s already fading.” He gestured for Twilight to look. Sure enough, the glittery plasma was already fading from existence. “It’s maybe been a while, I think?” he smiled, returning to her back with his hooves. She moaned weakly, slowly slumping down in a fit of red-faced panting. “Feel better?” he whispered intimately. Twilight gave a slow, rather meek nod. “I thought you might.” He kissed the top of her head as she curled up to rest for a bit. He lay next to her, stroking her back with a long, white wing. “Relaaaaax….” He whispered over and over. “Relaaaax…” she drifted off under his soothing, tucking her head under a wing like a shy purple swan.

“STALLIONS! COME HENCE!” Luna suddenly burst into the room like a crack of thunder, wearing a tight, sexy-looking police-pony’s outfit. “I’ve the chains, burgler outfits, and--- and---“ she spotted the passed out Twilight and startled-looking Feather Fall. “Oh my.” She said, her face turning red as a hoof lifted to her mouth.

“Hullo Luna,” Feather Fall whispered, bowing his neck till his chin touched the carpet. Luna slowly slipped the riding crop back into her sack of supplies, coughing awkwardly. “Perhaps in a few hours?” he offered delicately. “I know you like to play dress-up.” His doe-like eyes softened and he fluttered them at her.

“Hynnnngh!” Luna grunted, holding her heart and slumping against the door. She took off her police-pony’s hat. “Very well then. I shall return this evening, after sunset.” She nodded. It wasn’t polite for more than one Princess to enjoy the harem at the same time. Two of them were siblings, two of them were close friends, and two of them were teacher and student, so any combination would be an awkward bedroom dynamic. “Just be sure to--!”

“SNNNNNR-R-R-R-R-RKKKK!” Both Feather Fall and Luna jumped. Twilight had sprawled on her back at somepoint, and was mouth-open-leg-twitching-snoring. “SNNNNNR-R-R-R-R-RKKKK!”

“Faust, she snores like a chainsaw!” Feather Fall blurted, then covered his mouth.

“SNNNNNR-R-R-R-R-RKKKK!”

"Post magiculation bliss I suppose..." he murmured, leaning over the splayed out mare with interest.

Luna’s hoof jumped to her mouth and she quickly fled the room, shutting the door. The palace then echoed with scandalous, maniacal laughter. More than a few guards shuddered, a couple of potted plants died, and birds took off in a panic. Thankfully the Room of Requirement was quite sound-proof and it didn’t wake Twilight.

End of Part 2

The Burglers

Celestia’s Harem
Part 3: The Burglers

“S-so why is it called ‘Celestia’s Harem’?” Twilight groaned while all three stallions rubbed on her. “I mean, shouldn’t you guys be the ‘Royal Harem’, since all the princesses come here?” The purple mare had visited for the second time after a three-week absence. Yakyakistan ambassadors were very, very volatile and had left the poor thing frazzled to her wits end. Lucky for Twilight she had the Room of Requirement for a peaceful respite; The softly-lit library of laying pillows and ancient books, populated by stallions that wanted nothing more than to please her.

“Well,” Caramel Column said while he massaged one of her ankles, “Celestia began this little group around 600 post-Nightmare Moon. At the time, she was the only Princess. Only recently was Cadence raised to the rank, Luna returned, and you ascended.”

“Cadence came here?!” Twilight gasped, looking over her shoulder.

“Lay still, now,” Feather Fall coaxed, for he was on her back preening the royal wings.

“Only for a very small span of time,” nodded Caramel. “When she’d come of age and before she met her husband, Prince Consort Shining Armor, there was a… what, six month gap?” he checked his fellows, who nodded. “She was always very timid in bedroom affairs, though. She mostly came here for friendly company and to be read to.”

“Ohh,” Twilight tried very hard not to imagine her formal foalsitter… partaking. But then again here she was so she couldn’t talk. “She liked to be read to? Really?” she asked. Each stallion nodded, smiling fondly at the memory. The pink alicorn had loved their voices and liked to endlessly listen to them read anything: novels, magazines, they even teased her with lewd literature once.

With Mountain Blood massaging her front legs and Caramel Column on her rear ones, Twilight seemed to have a stallion on every side of her. The male attention, in her heart of hearts, made her giggly and happy. Sure, she could’ve stayed in Ponyville and gone to the spa with Rarity, or made an appointment with Bulk Biceps for a chiropractic once-over… but this was even better. She smiled despite herself, which made all three stallions exchange pleased glances. “So, even with all four Princesses being around now, the name just kind of stuck,” Mountain Blood shrugged. “I dun care either way, to be honest, call us whatever you want. We’re here to make ya happy.” He smiled lopsidedly. Twilight’s cheeks pinkened a little when he waggled an eyebrow at her.

“I think I’ve figured out that you guys aren’t spells or golems or anything,” she said a little awkwardly. “So… what do you guys do when you’re not here?”

The boys exchanged glances. “Erm, that bit’s a little personal.” Caramel cocked his head a little uncomfortably. Twilight winced. Had she just broken an unwritten rule, asking about their personal lives? “Just as whatever happens in this room we’re sworn to silence, we’re allowed to keep our own lives private. Celestia came across each of us by chance, but that’s sort of where we draw the line. Don’t want to mix work and home, y’know?” he said.

“Ohh,” Twilight’s ears turned back, embarrassed. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to intrude.” There was a long, thought-provoking silence between them.

The boys kept catching each other’s eyes, back and forth. Finally it was Feather Fall who spoke, “Erh-herm, I don’t mind bragging I suppose.” His feminine smile returned. “I am a dancer, from Cloudsdale. Proper theatre, mind you, not… exotic.” His fellows chuckled a little, and Twilight’s mind wondered what he might look like in a leather vest with a riding crop in his teeth. Next it occurred to her she had the very real power to make that happen. She went hot in the face, and filed the thought away for later without saying anything.

Not about to outdone by a pretty-boy, Mountain Blood spoke next. “I work construction, here and there. Mostly big things,” he put in. “Bridges, foundations, stuff like that.”

“And, well, you already know my family opens and runs libraries all across Equestria.” Caramel Column said. Some of the awkwardness had lifted, but the purple mare could tell they wouldn’t be sharing any more than that. “Our lives out there and our lives in this room are very different, so both are kept from each other. For everypony’s privacy and safety.”

Twilight smiled a little. “I-I understand.” She nodded. “Before I was an alicorn Princess, I was just a scholar. Princess Celestia hoof-picked me at my entrance exams to be her protégé.” She went through the long and intricate history that followed her from filly-hood to her ascension. After a time the boys shifted into a rather comfy triangle, pressed in plush around her. Somehow, through all the trials and complaints and triumphs she told them… she felt better. She’d never really sat down and spoken about how much madness there really was flying around in her life.

“No wonder Cellie brought you to us so fast!” Mountain Blood said, sitting his stubbled chin on her exposed belly while she was laying on her back. “Your life fucking sucks! Monsters and gods and mayhem at every turn!”

“My life doesn’t fucking suck!” Twilight said angrily, then her hooves jumped to her mouth. The harem burst into laughter, throwing their heads back. The purple mare’s face went as red as an apple, and she hid her head under her arms, groaning to herself. Mountain Blood shifted, and the sand-paper of his stubble brushed her belly. She giggled, shifting.

“Wuh oh,” Mountain Blood said, rubbing his chin on her again, just below the ribs. She giggle-squirmed again. “What have we here…?” a grin was rising on every stallion’s face. He held her hips, then scrub-a-scrub-a-scrubbed his face on her belly. Twilight squealed with laughter, squirming hard back and forth. “Oh this is precious, meh heh heh heh!” he signaled to his fellows. Instantly the other two stallions got menacing looks on their faces. They held her down.

“No! No no no no no eeeieaaahh-!” Twilight’s body was wracked with laughter while feather, stubble and nibbling lips found her every ticklish spot. Her wings flailed wildly while they struggled against her massive alicorn strength. “No! No more! I can’t! I cannn’t!” she shrieked, red-faced and derp-eyed while they mercilessly tickled her.

=-=-=-=-=

Wuh-pssh! Luna let out a little yelp, heaving against her bonds and squirming about. “Talk!” Mountain Blood demanded. “Tell us the combination and we’ll let you off easy!” To one side sat a waist-high metal safe, shining brightly. None of them had been able to get it open yet. Dressed in black-and-white-striped shirts with banner masks, all three of the harem menaced Luna.

“Neigh! I shall never tell!” she said, flushed and aroused and sweaty. “It would mean my career as a royal… bank teller!” Luna decided her job was at the moment.

Wuh-pssh! Feather Fall struck her hiney again with the riding crop. Spitting it out, he menaced the curve of her hips with the bendy plastic thing. “We have ways of making you talk…” he said, bright doe eyes masked under the darkness of his robber mask.

“Neigh! Not my virtue!” Luna cried as they took her front knees out from under her. This left her head down, rump up, and in a rather compromised position.

“Meh-heh-heh!” Mountain Blood reared up behind her, exposed member throbbing dangerously. “Last chance, miss fancy bank teller!” he said, gripping her shapely hips between his massive earth pony hooves. “Tell us how to open the safe!”

Caramel leaned with an ear against the safe, turning the dial back and forth. But thus far the combination had eluded him. Thusly their helpless hostage. “Bend her over the table, Bloodborn!” he snapped at last, losing his patience (“Bloodborn” was Mountain Blood’s criminal name). “We don’t have time for this! The Royal Guard could be here any minute!”

“I thought you hit the silent alarm off!” Feather Weight said, lifting a hoof in a panic.

“Guess I’ll hafta work fast,” Mountain Blood menaced with his ripple muscles. Luna shrieked, exhilarated, as she was thrown over her bank-teller’s desk. Papers, quill, ink, and other things clattered to the floor. “I know exactly how to make. You. Talk.” He husked in her ear. Luna quivered in anticipation of the rough mounting.

All three stallions released her, having hoof-cuffed her to the desk, then sat on the other side. Luna looked up, panting in a cloud of hormones. “What? What is it?” she said. There was silence, and smug grins.

“Tell us the combination.” Feather Fall said, lifting one side of his banner mask to smile at her.

“Neigh! You’ll never torment it out of me!” Luna said with a dramatic toss of her mane.

“Tell us the combination… or we won’t fuck you silly.” Mountain Blood added.

Luna gaped at them in horror.

Those.

Clever.

Bastards.

“I… I…” she groaned, pent up and already drenched between her thighs from all the build-up and foreplay. “You’re cheating!” she bleated, pulling on the hoof-cuffs. She couldn’t free herself without destroying the desk, and she liked the props she always brought for the harem to play with. “Cheaters!” she said, pointing an accusing hoof at them. They all three sat their on their haunches, smiling at her. “We demand thee come hence and have thy filthy way with us!” Nopony moved. “…please?” she tried.

“The combination.” Caramel smirked, gesturing.

Luna moaned, wanting and achy. “…Seven, twenty-five, seventy-four,” she finally murmured, laying her cheek on the cool wood of the desk with a needy huff.

Caramel turned on his butt and leaned, turning the dial this way and that. One, two, three steel bars moved to one side. He turned the wheel seven times. “Fancy!” he said, pulling the heavy door open. Inside was a massive jar of imported, sealed, gourmet jawbreaker candies. “Ooooh!” he said, reaching in and taking it. Turning, he showed his fellows the loot. Both other stallions grinned, having won the game this time.

“Now, where were we?” Mountain Blood said, at last taking his place and rearing up behind Luna. She gave a great, belting cry when he mounted her. The small vase of flowers on the desk danced, danced, then tumped over. Caramel’s magic seized it before it shattered on the carpet, watching the vicious sex with a cool eye. Luna clung to the desk, gritting her teeth happily. Whimpering under Mountain’s virility, she had to focus her efforts to open her eyes and spy the other two stallions struggling to get the jar of candies open. She smirked despite herself. She’d put a seven-point seal on it. They wouldn’t be eating any of those without her say-so, after she’d had her fun. Hee hee!

End of Part 3

Mountain Blood

Celestia’s Harem
Part 4: Mountain Blood

Celestia danced back and forth between an oven, a microwave oven, a brick oven and a long counter. The three harem stallions sat on the other side of the bar, in idle conversation. The day Princess’ weakness was to cook and be among friends, so they encouraged her to cook as much as she wanted because hey, free food and a happy princess. Taking out a piping hot green bean casserole, she paused to stir a massive fruit salad and levitated iced juice glasses out to everypony. After receiving a look, she rolled her eyes and plucked a cheap beer from the fridge for Mountain Blood. He smiled, popping it open with his teeth as he usually did.

“Can I ask, how is Twilight getting along with you boys?” Celestia asked. “Spare me the, ah, intimate details, but does she seem happy?”

“We’re not really sure. We’ve only seen her twice in the past month or so,” Caramel Column said, touching his chin and looking at the ceiling thoughtfully. “She lives a pretty happy life, so her stress-level doesn’t often call for guys like us, maybe.”

“She’s fuckin’ adorable is what she is,” Mountain Blood chuckled, adjusting himself on the bar stool while Celestia teased oven-burned vegetable-kabobs onto their plates. She had yet to please the oven gods and not burn the celery, but she had back-up sandwiches and watermelon for that. “I dun think she’s slept with any of us yet, but I’d feel guilty even touchin’ the poor thing.” Caramel Column nodded his agreement... and Feather Fall looked guiltily to one side. “Wh… you?!” Mountain Blood demanded. “When?! How?!”

“We’ve been told to spare the details,” Feather Fall said delicately. “Just think of Cellie, here.” He gestured, his pupils expanding and softening into a doe-like expression. (“HYNNNRGH?!” Celestia almost dropped her macaroni-and-cheese-with-breadcrumbs, pitching to one side to grab the counter and not fall over)

“That doesn’t work on me!” Mountain Blood scowled.

Caramel Column leaned around him, looking concerned. “Truly, though? Twilight came to you for her first time among us harem-stallions?” He didn’t look jealous, merely a little surprised. “I thought there would be, you know, a bit more song and dance before then. A year, at least.” He smiled as his brow knitted.

“I didn’t mount her, if that’s what you mean.” Feather Fall said, lifting a wing rather shyly.

Mountain Blood grumped at him. “Ohhh, a wingie, then. Got it.” He looked a little relieved at the idea. “If that’s all, I guess that’s okay.”

“Boys,” Celestia said a little loudly so they would talk less about her former star pupil… that way. “All set!” she said, taking off her cute little chef hat. They ohh’d and ahh’d over the spread, passing big bowls of food back and forth. Leaving them to sit on their bar stools at the counter, Celestia pulled up a stool as well, opposite to them. This was what pleased her more than anything. Eating with others. Making food like a house-mare. Being in service to others when she was waited on horn-and-foot out in the real world. It was really refreshing. Well… that and after the Lemon Pie Incident of 850 (Post Nightmare Moon), the royal kitchens wouldn’t let her use their ovens. The Room of Requirement would have to be her kitchen. It pleased her to see them eat with gusto, and she joined them after a time. But, eventually, the conversation returned to Twilight Sparkle.

“I’m just sayin’, she comes off real innocent when she’s here,” Mountain Blood said, stirring pepper into his macaroni. “I dun think we should be makin’ advances, is all. She’s almost like a little sister or something.” He harrumphed a little. “We should maybe wait on any of the hot’n’heavy stuff, y’know? Let her explore a little before anything serious comes up.” His fellows nodded in agreement. “’Sides, it’s not like an estrus is gonna hit her so hard she’s gonna come bursting in here one day and-“

The door suddenly CRASH’D open, almost off its hinges! “MOUNTAIN BLOOD! I NEED YOU!” Twilight screeched, looking sweaty and frazzled. Celestia, Feather, and Caramel all sprayed food in every conceivable direction.

The earth pony stallion looked shocked, slowly setting his beer down, “Uhhh…” was all he could manage as Twilight quickly crossed the room. She had a certain softness in her eyes that any stallion could recognize. “W-well, I’m flattered, Twilight…” he began, before she pulled something from her saddlebags.

“C-can you fix this?” she mewled a little, holding up a broken birdhouse. “There was a big storm, and it crashed into my stepping stones. I-I’ve had it since I was little, but everypony is still cleaning up storm damage I didn’t want to bother them! I-It’s very important! My dad made it for me-hee-hee!” little pricks of tears were in the outer corners of her eyes, and she was on the verge of sobbing. Clearly this had spiraled out of control and they were catching the tail-end of a Twilight Sparkle freak-out.

Everypony relaxed a few more hairs. “H’oh! Oh right! Sure!” The mud-colored stallion coughed twice, trying to ignore the tingling beginnings of an erection in his loins. “Cuz I work construction, right? Lemme see…” she let him have it and he turned it over a few times. “Oh yeah, some glue and a few screws should be okay…” it was a complex thing, with a princess tower and little glass windows and a porch. It was almost like a doll house, but for birds. “It weighs more than it should, to be hanging from a tree. I’ll have a look… after lunch?” he offered.

Twilight suddenly spied everypony else in the room. “Uh? Oops…” she said. “I-I-I’m sorry, I just had tunnel vision when I saw you. E-everypony, I-I’ll show myself out.”

“Nonsense!” Celestia said, giggling at the turn of events. Another stool molded up out of the floor as the Room of Requirement twinged to accommodate a second princess. “Join us for this summer-picnic lunch!” she said gaily.

It was only then Twilight saw Celestia was not wearing her crown. Turning around to look near the door, she saw the golden horseshoes, crown, and regalia hanging from hooks. “Sure thing,” she finally collected herself to say. Going to the door and closing it, she hung up her saddlebags. They made room for Twilight, seating her at the end of the counter. She felt like she was at the head of a table, hee hee! Different bowls and platters were passed by her, until she had a heavy plate. “Thank you!” she said.

=-=-=-=-=-=

Mountain Blood peered around the dungeon corner, but spotted nothing in the darkness. Signaling his two fellows, they continued along the damp hallway. Mace in hoof, he eased the door open. “Mwah-hah! I have you at last!” a sorceress appeared, pointed hat and all. “You shall never obtain the Silver Dancing Shoes of the Gods now!” an arc of lightning lanced across the room.

Feather Fall shouldered Caramel out of the way and took it full in the chest! He went down hard, smoldering. “Feather!” Caramel cried in horror. Turning with a whip of his wand, the unicorn fired arcane crystals back across the room. The sorceress skidded back on her hooves, grunting in pain.

Mountain Blood charged into the melee, bopping the sorceress over the head with his spikey mace. “Er… which one do I roll now?” the world around him froze. Caramel sighed, holding his forehead for a moment.

“The eight-sided one.”

“Is that this one?” he said, peering into his hoof at a black die with several more sides than normal. “Or this one?” he squinted at them.

“No, no that one there.”

“This game is fucking hard,” the earth pony grumbled, turning his character sheet over a few times in his armored hoof. “Oh there it is!” he said. Clack.

Mountain Blood bashed the sorceress over the head and she went down hard, pinwheeling flank-over-tea-kettle until she hit the wall. Her saddle-bags spilled open to reveal 31 gold pieces, two spell scrolls, 4 day rations, and the Silver Dancing Shoes of the Gods! “found ‘em!”

“Too bad I’m dead,” Feather Fall sighed from where he lay on the ground.

“Is he dead?!” Mountain Blood demanded.

“It’s hard to tell.”

“I resuscitate him!” Mountain Blood seized the limp Feather Fall into his arms, throwing his mace and shield aside. “Don’t die on me! We can’t continue adventuring with just two!” he slammed his lips over Feather Falls. The stallion flailed animatedly, eyes bugging out of his head.

“Er… er-uhm… roll a fortitude save. I think my nose is running, hang on…”

Mountain Blood blew into his mouth again, then punched him in the chest. “Auh-haugh!” the feminine stallion cried, turning over and curling up. “That is NOT how you do that!” he whined. “Please say I’m not dead so he’ll quit that!”

Mountain Blood looked at Twilight across the table. She seemed to be hiding behind her Dungeon Master’s shield more than normal. “You okay, Twilight?” he asked.

“H’yeah….” She said weakly, pushing the tissue against her nose. “Y-yeah he’s still alive.” She looked like she was over-heating, really. Ohhh, was that what got Twilight hot and bothered? Stallion on stallion action? The idea flashed across the table like wildfire.

“Oh Mountain Blood!” Feather Fall put his forehoof over his brow. “I… I thought I was a goner!” he said dramatically, tossing his mane to one side. His soft eyes looked up into Mountain Blood’s concerned, tender brown ones. “You saved me,” he lifted a hoof and put it on his friend’s chest. “I don’t know what I would do without you…” the earth pony leaned over the Pegasus, as though about to whisper something.

Twilight leaned forward in her chair, scarlet in the face, but unable to take her eyes off the scene. Caramel cocked an amused eyebrow. So they’d found the chink in her adorable little armor. They were going to exploit the heck out of this.

“So what other loot is there?” Mountain Blood gave no kisses to feather like Twilight was expecting (wanting?), dropping the feminine white stallion to the ground with a bump. “Oooh, is that a magic hat?” he said with interest, squatting over the limp sorceress’ form.

“It is, but it’s for a caster.”

“I’mma wear it,” Mountain decided, putting it on his head.

“You literally cannot use it. You're a warrior-class! It’s meant for wizards and sorcerers!” Caramel argued. “Like me!” he pointed to his wizardly robes. Mountain Blood stuck his tongue out at him, straightening the hat's point with a hoof. Feather groaned from where he lay on the floor, face-hoofing.

Twilight snickered despite herself. None of her friends in Ponyville would play this game with her. The boys were making it too much fun! She smiled wide, watching them argue over the loot and moving the sorceress away with a sneaky slieght-of-hoof trick. They wouldn’t notice the plastic figurine was gone from the grid map for a few minutes, at least!

End of Part 4

The Kink Folders

Celestia’s Harem
Part 5: The Kink Folder

Once a month or so, the three harem stallions would gather to have a meeting. Like any other set of coworkers, they had things to go over and adjustments to make to help improve themselves. With no princesses about, the Room of Requirement actually paid the three of them a bit of attention. Though not being alicorns themselves they could not project as well. With some effort they could get things across to the room like ‘chair’, ‘table’, ‘cabinet’, and ‘shelves’. Using their concerted efforts (and usually a furniture store magazine to help them all think of the same thing), they managed to turn the magical room into a conference room with a couple of filing cabinets and a mini-fridge.

“Alright then, gentlecolts, let’s have a look for the past six weeks or so.” Caramel Column, having been raised in a library, usually took charge. They came to order like a secret club, each coughing and unfolding papers here and there.

“Celestia is still enjoying her cooking stint,” Feather Fall said gently. “She visits once a week, tends to make breakfasts… and still hasn’t made the pie she promised us.” That earned a few chuckles around the table.

“Any changes? Any singular calls?” Though the events in the Room of Requirement were always kept private there were no secrets between the three of them, for the good of the princesses— regardless of what their appetites happened to be.

“Me,” Feather Fall answered. “Princess Twilight used the bell to summon me alone. I gave her a good rub-down and a ‘wingie’.” He made air-quotes with his primary pinions. “She fell asleep after, and went home in her own time.”

Mountain Blood coughed. “And myself. Celestia came in about a week ago. Nothin’ fancy, just a quick rutting before a hot bath and bed,” he related. “Standard Friday-evening weekend-starter. With tax season starting in a few weeks I’m not surprised her stress level is up.” The other two stallions scribbled notes accordingly. While yes, they were a harem, taking care of the stress levels of the world powers was serious business. They always compared notes, reported sudden mood spikes or swings, and other things. Sometimes they could even extrapolate what a Princess might want before she entered the Room of Requirement, and make preparations. Celestia’s kitchen, for example, needed to be stocked with food on a regular basis (the room couldn’t just conjure up consumables, its magic had limits).

“What about Princess Luna?” Feather Fall asked. “Still one visit every ten days?”

“Like clockwork,” Caramel agreed, checking their office-desk calender. The dark blue L’s were mapped every ten days, along with scribbles as to what happened, as far back as Luna had been present in the Room of Requirement. “Any changes there?”

“Nope,” Mountain Blood said, turning a few pages. “She still enjoys being dominated the most. We need to remember to replace the three broken riding crops and the bit and bridle she ruined the other night. I forget how strong her jaws are, bein’ an alicorn.” They frowned over their notes, “Not to mention we never did find that humming egg. I think she walked out with it at some point,” he trailed off and the other two nodded a bit, chuckling. “Hafta be careful lately, I don’t want her to leave this place with bruises or something. I don’t mind a mare that likes it rough, but she is a public figure. Ponies would talk.”

“Noted,” Caramel said, nodding and not looking up from his papers.

“Not that I’d know anything about her appetites,” Feather Fall stuck his tongue out a little sulkily. To date, he’d never been with Princess Luna. The dark alicorn seemed firmly set on the other two of the harem, and had never lifted her tail for him in particular. It made him a bit jealous, to be honest.

“You weigh too little, and lack the strength.” Mountain Blood said, sympathetic for his fellow. “She likes the bigger, stronger sort. We’ve just got the advantage over you.”

“I know, I know.” Feather Fall grumped. “Doesn’t mean I have to like it.”

“Celestia enjoys your feathery touch more than us anyways,” Caramel smiled sideways, unfolding the proper folder as they wrote down the dates and… well, actions that went with them. “Any new kinks or requests pop up between the royal sisters?” he looked up, at both of them in turn. Nopony said anything. “Okay, good-good, sometimes no news is good news.”

Ponies that wanted to try too much of too many things in the bedroom could be unstable or volatile, according to some books he’d read in his family’s library. Healthy lovers tended to settle on a hoof-full of bedroom tricks and stay with them for long periods of time, occasionally trying something new just to taste it. The royal sisters were much the same way. Luna had tried anal precisely once, and had unfortunately chosen Mountain Blood (the “biggest” of the three) to experiment with. It had ended with an ice bucket and a lot of swearing. Celestia, once in a very long while, put Feather Fall on his back to work at him with her mouth, but she had to be in a peculiar mood. Despite their best efforts, none of the three had been able to chart this particular habit. Moon phases? Certain months of the year? After certain events? They couldn’t figure it out. But getting head from the Princess was just about the most ego-inflating thing any stallion could ever hope for in his life, that was for sure.

“So, now the interesting bit,” Caramel said, following the two rising smiles from his fellows. “Princess Twilight Sparkle.” He pulled out a blank, empty folder and put her name on it. Filling in the details and taping in a picture from a newspaper… they all stared at the file in silence.

“…the fuck does she like?” Mountain Blood said after a long time.

“Books?” Feather Fall said.

“I’m not a book,” Mountain Blood grumped. “I meant as far as us!”

“I couldn’t get much of a reading on her. You don’t think she’s a virgin, do you?!” Caramel gasped.

“Not likely,” Feather Fall said, stroking his chin. “She’s smart, powerful and of high ranking. She could probably have any stallion she wanted.”

“Should we ask her?”

“She might freak out.”

“Or go into that weird daze again.”

“She really should ask a doctor about that.”

“She just checks out for a bit, forgets where she is.”

“I wonder if that’s a hormone thing.”

“Hrm.”

“Hrm.”

“Hrm.”

“Well, that’s not our field. We’ll just need to figure out what she likes, and give it to her.” Caramel said. Mountain Blood snorted, on the edge of a ‘that’s what she said’ sort of joke. “You know what I meant.” Caramel rolled his eyes. “We did see how she got during the Ponies and Castles game, what about that?” he offered. There was more Hrm-ing around the table. “She might be a yaoi fan-mare,” he said, scribbling a few notes.

“What’s a yaoi?” Mountain Blood cocked his head with a frown. “Is that a vegetable?” Feather Fall looked rather guiltily to one side, but said exactly nothing. “Or a dungeon fetish?”

Caramel coughed twice, “It means she likes watching two stallions together.”

“Ohhh,” Mountain Blood leaned back in his chair. “Well no offense fellas, I like ya and all but I ain’t about to get into the gay stuff with you two.” Feather Fall’s ears wilted, but nopony noticed.

“This can just as easily be teasing,” Caramel said. “She got very excited when you two were as close together as you were. Not doing anything really, just together.” The unicorn floated a set of papers to himself, turning one over and scribbling on it for Twilight’s folder. “That could easily be a feral response, though.”

“What do you mean?” Feather Fall asked, tilting his head and then sipping his water.

Caramel smiled a little, adopting a cave-mare voice. “What is good in life? Stallion! What is better than good in life? Two stallion! What’s the best thing in life?”

“Three stallions!” Mountain Blood gushed, then threw his head back and laughed. “Ah, I got it, I got it I think.”

“Here’s some titles,” Caramel said, writing them down and giving both of his fellows copies. “Do your research, gentlecolts, it’s part of the job.” All three nodded, stuffing them in their saddlebags. Twilight’s file was completely blank under her list of kinks.

There was another long silence.

“…we know nothing about her, do we?” Feather Fall finally sighed. “I mean, she told us her life story, but we’ve only met her like… thrice now?” he confirmed with his fellows. They nodded. “So, how do we fix this?”

“Ask Cellie?” Mountain Blood volunteered.

“No, she comes her to indulge herself. That would be rude to drill her with questions about somepony else. This is where she comes for things to be about her.” Feather Fall shook his head.

“Find records?” Caramel wondered.

“What would her birth certificate, travel records, or medical files tell us?” Feather Fall shot him down too, shaking his head. “Besides, that’s a gross invasion of privacy!”

“We’re all about privacy, here,” Caramel stuck his tongue out a bit. The stallions all scowled at the table, puzzling for a long time over their new purple princess playmate. “I could import more Ponies and Castles books, but she has her own.”

“She’s asexual. Calling it now,” Mountain Blood grumped, getting up and going to the mini fridge for a beer.

“No, she’s just less confident.” Feather Fall shook his head. They looked at him rather angrily, shooting down all their ideas as they came up with him.

“Well what the fuck do you suggest, pretty boy?!” the earth pony shouted. “I don’t like doing my job well only two-thirds of the time!” he was starting to flush with frustration. “We got nothin’ to work with!”

“We have plenty to work with, we just need more information!” Feather Fall leaned back, his ears turning submissively back. His pupils started to expand, but Mountain Blood growled at him so he stopped. The effeminate stallion had forgotten once more that didn’t work on his fellow harem member. There was a short silence, then a spark of an idea lanced across his mind. He looked up at his coworkers. “…road trip.” He whispered.

“Road trip?” Caramel said.

“Road trip,” he confirmed.

Mountain Blood’s mouth made a perfect, mischievous o-shape. Then he split into a grin. Then all three of them grinned. Then they adjourned the meeting and made for their separate doors. They had packing to do!

=-=-=-=-=

Three stallions arrived at the train station of Ponyville. They checked their calender dates. Celestia had been serviced a few days ago, and Luna was not due for four days. They were in the clear. Donning fedoras (and Mountain Blood a bushy mustache), they filtered out into Ponyville to have a look around.

“Excuse me, is this the hometown of Princess Twilight Sparkle?” Feather Fall played dumb. “Can you tell me about her?”

“Oh yes, Twilight is very kind,” a Pegasus mare with yellow fur and a pink mane said. She hadn’t looked up just yet, for she was leading a little herd of ducks along the path. She quack-quack’d back at the little gathering, and they followed her eagerly. So cute! “You can even visit her castle if you like, she’s turning the bottom floor into a public, royal library!” she turned and smiled at him. Her gorgeous blue eyes sparkled at him for a few moments before she led the ducks away.

“HYNNNRRRRGH?!” Feather Fall clenched at himself, eyes shrinking into pinpricks. The cute! It was too much! Overload! OVERLOAD! He fell over, crashing into a water barrel that was at the end of a storm spout. The barrel split, deluging him with water. Soaked to the bone, he convulsed for a moment. His heart! HIS HEART! Mountain and Caramel came stampeding over. Mountain punched his chest a few times until he started breathing again. Ponies were staring, so they quickly propped him up again. “Is this what I’ve been doing to ponies?!” he cried, hooves on his head. “Celestia’s teats!” he said. “I should wear a blindfold or something!” Mountain Blood burst into laughter, slapping him on the back. A quick drying spell from Caramel, and they were off to find Castle Friendship, where Twilight Sparkle lived.

End of Part 5

Castle Friendship

Celestia’s Harem
Part 6: Castle Friendship

“Here it is,” Caramel Column said. “Castle Friendship!” he gestured.

The three harem stallions looked up at the massive, crystalline structure. They admired the tree-like base, it’s sweeping towers, and the magic star at it’s tippy-top. “Holy shit this thing is fuckin’ ugly,” Mountain Blood said in disgust. His fellows groaned, rolling their eyes. “Well look at it! It doesn’t match the town, it’s shaped like a fuckin’ tree, and the reflective surfaces could cause fires during the summer!” he pointed to the front lawn which, sure enough, had a couple of brown spots from the sunlight being reflected from the castle to the ground. “Who’s bright idea was this?! They’ll need to replace this grass with marble before somepony gets laser-focused like an ant under a magnifying--!”

Caramel Column shoved a hoof rudely into Mountain Blood’s mouth. “Well thankfully we work in the elegant castle in Canterlot, huhm?” he said a little forcefully. Feather Fall chuckled a little, adjusting his saddlebags. “Anyway, why don’t we check the place out? There’s no telling what we might learn about Princess Twilight here.”

“That yellow mare earlier said the ground floor was being made into a public library, I guess we can just go in,” the feminine stallion wondered aloud, flexing his wings a little for comfort. Shoulder to shoulder, the three of them ventured to the big double doors. Pushing one open, they peeked inside.

Sure enough, there were ponies milling about every which way. Furniture ponies were arguing about a layout of shelving, messengers were galloping about and crates with ‘fragile’ on the sides were being brought in. An elderly mare wandered by with a glass case on her back, a particularly ancient looking tome on the display pegs inside. Twilight Sparkle did indeed have a thing for books, it seemed.

“Yes, yes, put that one over there!” Princess Twilight, garbed in her tiara and nothing more, was orchestrating from atop a winding staircase. The boys quickly ducked behind a column so they wouldn’t be spotted. “I don’t want anything from outside our own century exposed to direct sunlight on the shelving! Books are friends, not firewood!” she giggled.

Spike the dragon stood next to her, a large map unrolled in his claws. On it was a mathematically pleasing library layout, taking into account every room on the ground floor of the palace as a section. “Do we even have a basement, Twilight? I know we’re not gonna have an archive anytime soon, but it seems a little early to be planning for one. And do we wanna chance digging into Castle Friendship’s roots? It’s a crystal tree, but it’s still a tree!” he said, gesturing to the side notes.

“I told Mayor Mare that we would take all of the town’s records more than a decade old and store them here, in a cool dark place.” Twilight said. “We’ll find a way to dig out a cellar or two, and ward it with a spell to stop moisture.”

“Wow Twilight, you thought of everything!” Spike smiled. “I bet they’re gonna love getting rid of a few filing cabinets, huh?”

“Yeah,” Twilight smiled. “I’ve always wanted to design my own library! Eee!” Twilight squee’d a little, rearing up and flailing her front hooves a bit.

“She’s adorable,” Mountain Blood said from their hiding place.

“And in her element, I see,” Caramel said, impressed at all the ponies milling about. “She’s got a serious collection, too!”

“Hey Twilight!” an orange mare sporting a stetson came up the red carpet.

“Applejack!” Twilight said, cantering down the spiral staircase and to the main floor. “Glad you came. Did you find anything?” she said eagerly, looking at Applejack’s bulging saddlebags.

“Sure did, sugarcube!” Applejack popped open her pack, revealing an armload of Applebloom’s old foal books. “Up in the attic gatherin’ dust, just like I figured. I also figure they’ll get more love here in the little foal’s section than in storage, righ’?”

“That’s right! I’ve got plans for a foal’s and young reader’s section right here!” She gestured for Spike, who held up the map for Applejack to see. The farming mare’s eyes glazed over all the facts and figures, but she nodded like she’d seen what Twilight meant.

“Wow,” Feather Fall said, smiling in admiration. “Just a couple of years as Princess and her first major project is to open a library in her own home. How kind!” The other two nodded in agreement. “So, she’s busy so the coast is clear. Where do we go from here?” he asked his fellows.

“You can tell a lot about a mare by the contents of her saddlebags, but I don’t think Princess Twilight keeps them on hoof.” Caramel said softly, scratching his chin.

“Hey look, the Forbidden Section! I bet we could learn somethin’ in there!” Mountain Blood said with interest. The other two leaned to see. Sure enough, one of the rooms had been closed off with a little keep out sign. When they were sure nopony was looking, they approached to check it out. The windows were glazed, so they couldn’t see inside. “Hrm…” Mountain Blood tried the knob, but it was, of course, locked.

“Who does Twilight love most?” the door whispered at them.

“Beg your pardon?!” Caramel gasped.

“Who does Twilight love most?” the door whispered again.

“Is that… is that a password lock?” Feather Fall asked. “Princess Celestia uses those on some of her silver cabinets, in the west wing of the palace. You know, the ones that are only for special occasions?” He poked the area around the knob, which in fact had no keyhole.

“You know what that room’s got that I bet our purple little princess didn’t think of?” Mountain Blood grinned at the shape he could see beyond the glazed glass. His fellows cocked their heads. “A window.” He pointed with a hoof. All three of them nodded, making their way to the exit when they were sure Twilight wasn’t looking.

=-=-=-=-=

“Stop wiggling!” Caramel complained in a harsh whisper. “You’re heavy as it is!”

“Stop fuckin’ wavin’ me around!” Mountain Blood growled at the tingling spell wrapping around his body. Feather Fall had gone up and opened the window, sliding one of his pinions in the crack to lift the latch. Diving inside and making sure nopony was around, he gestured quickly. Mountain Blood hovered, shrouded under Caramel’s spell, up into the window. When he was safely on his hooves, Caramel levitated in as well. Mountain hummed the Job:Unpossible theme until Feather knocked the back of his head with a hoof.

They looked around with wild interest. They could hear ponies beyond the door, but they’d made it inside. There were a few meager bookshelves, a massive laying pillow, some blankets, and a tea set. The floor was plush carpet, and a full-length mirror sat on wooden feet in the corner.

“Hmm,” Mountain Blood leaned with interest, expecting every single book to be a dirty romance novel. Picking up the first one, he saw the title was The Forbidden Art of Democracy. The next was Mood Wings. The one after that was An In-Depth Study of Horn Physiology.

Caramel walked carefully among the stacks that covered every wall. “Oh my,” he said softly. “I’m pretty sure most of the books in here are either illegal, out of print, or banned.”

“Looks like our Princess has a naughty streak in her,” Feather Fall whispered, picking up a volume himself. A Case Study of Plague Spread, Suffering, and Populace Inoculation. He quickly put it back, shuddering. “What is all this?” he whispered, looking around in awe.

“Maybe she’s locking up certain books to keep the public safe?” Caramel said. “There are certain books that should be safe-guarded and aren’t easily destroyed. Necromancy, black magic and such.”

“But she didn’t even lock the window!” Mountain Blood said, looking at a book under glass. Was… was that leather binding?! Eeeeew! Some cow had lost its skin to make that book happen! The cracks and the blotches on it almost looked like a face. Disgusting!

“She’s still organizing the library, and talking about taking in a bunch of the town’s records for safe-keeping. What would you bet she’ll have a vault for these when the time comes?” Caramel said. “Lack of window lock aside, that is.” He shook his head at their poor Princess’ lack of security. “I’ve half a mind to ward the window when we leave, but she would know my magical signature.” He sighed.

“Mom, Dad, Shiny and Spike,” Twilight’s voice was suddenly at the door. All three of them froze in place. A complex series of locks and cogs built on the ethereal plane began to turn, undo, and unchain themselves. Princess Twilight's password lock was opening!

“Uhm, uhm… closet!” Feather Fall said, gesturing quickly. All three stallions piled inside, pulling it to until it was only cracked open. They put their eyes up to the sliver of light so they could see out.

“Whew, what a day!” Princess Twilight said, hovering a book to a waiting shelf. (The spine read Beef and You, A Griffin's Cookbook.)

“And it ain’t even over yet!” A new mare came in, rainbow in the mane, closing the door behind her. “Rawr-awr!” she said, grinning wide and running a wing from Twilight’s withers down her back.

Twilight giggle-jumped, almost to the window. “I-I could’ve sworn I closed this. Don’t want the rain getting in or something. She was red-cheeked when the other mare crossed the room to press up against her. “So affectionate today, Rainbow Dash!” she giggled.

“Maybe!” Rainbow said. All three stallion’s blanched. “Or maybe I’m just horny in the middle of the day!” she nipped Twilight’s neck, making her shriek and giggle. The purple mare’s horn lit, warding the door for sound and closing the window. “So how ‘bout it?” Rainbow said with a dominant chuckle, pressing her up against one of the bookshelves. “You been delegating all day I think you deserve some pampering.”

“I-if that’s what you wanna call i–MEEP!” Rainbow put her head under Twilight’s barrel and flipped her onto her back, onto the laying pillow, then buried her muzzle between Twilight’s back legs. The purple mare’s shriek of happy, sexual distress pierced the air. Her wings went wide, her back legs propped on Rainbow’s shoulders. She bit into one of her front hooves to stifle herself, whimpering loudly.

All three stallions gaped. Mountain Blood propped himself over Feather Fall to get a better view. Caramel leaned back and forth, trying to see at all. Neither mare heard their shuffling, in the throes of passion. Mountain cocked his head one way, then the other, watching the two mares go at it. He didn’t know that could bend that way! Wait-wait, was she gonna--- ohhh ye-heh-es she was! A great big grin plastered itself over his face while he learned all about pegasus mare-on-mare playtime.

Feather Fall’s eyes grew huge when Mountain’s massive earth pony cock made itself known between his thighs. Not that he hadn’t seen it before, being in a harem and all, but jeez! Flushed, ears splayed to either side, he tried not to move and… ‘agitate’ it.

“Oh Rainbow!” Twilight cried, back arching. “Yes! H’YES! H'YEEES!”

All three of them watched with eyebrows up in their bangs. Caramel felt like he should’ve been taking notes or something. Even as a well-read stallion, Rainbow was certainly teaching him a thing or two. The closet itself was heating up with the smell of hormones and sweat.

After a time, Twilight was on top. The stallion’s exchanged glances. Did she actually have a dominant bone in her body? “Hehe, how about that?” Rainbow panted, her muzzle askew with moisture and… other things.

Twilight smiled in a flushed, half-drunken sort of way. They only saw the tip of her tongue before she settled over Rainbow Dash's lips in a filthy kiss. Her hips certainly knew the motions! Rainbow clung to her desperately as they ground against each other, gritting her teeth and then taking a mouthful of the scruff of her neck. Shrieking spoke of skill, for soon the sky blue Pegasus had limpened to pant.

They held each other, and there was silence.

It would be three hours of napping, awkward clean-up and a bit of brushing before Rainbow Dash and Twilight left the room. Both of them looked a little frazzled, but otherwise very, very happy. When the door was securely locked and the hoof-steps had faded, all three of the harem members burst from the closet like a pent-up orgasm.

“When does Luna come next?!” Mountain demanded, throbbing cock bouncing about as he galloped to a waiting water jug.

Caramel feverishly went through his saddlebags. “She’s not coming today, that’s why we made the trip!” he said, gasping in a haze of hormones. Feather Fall just whimpered loudly, his wings still stuck in their upward position. “Her next appointment is tomorrow!”

“Fuck that!” Mountain Blood slammed the closet door, taking out his recall bell. Celestia had given them all bells to reach the Room of Requirement on their own. He rang it, then flung the door open again. The Room of Requirement was beyond, instead of the closet they’d been in. “Let’s call her down right now!” they piled into the room, all three sweating and horny. “Feather I don’t care what Luna says this time, we’re ALL tapping that!” Mountain swore, hauling his two fellows through the doorway. “All at the same time if we gotta!”

=-=-=-=-=-=

Luna looked up from a sidewalk-and-fountain commission contract for the third section of Canterlot’s park. One of the servant bells was furiously ringing back and forth, then broke off of its line and rolled across the floor. She tilted her head, slowly setting her quill down. “I wonder what’s happened?” she said, letting one of her guards pick it up. “I must make for the Princess Wing, please excuse me, gentlecolts.” she said, smiling a bit. “Those bells are only for strict emergencies in certain parts of the castle. Tah!” she waved and was away, happy to be of help to her subjects.

“I wish she’d take a day off now and then. She works so much, the poor thing,” said one of the guards when she was gone.

“Yeah, but that’s why she’s the princess. She knows how to handle all the hard problems,” said the other.

End of Part 6