Big Mac shot The Jukebox Last Night.
Written by Jlargent.
It was a typical Saturday night for Big Macintosh, for him it was worth working out in the fields five days a week just so he could put food on the table for the family. Of course even a work horse like him needs to unwind so he heads down to the local bar and knock back a few, not enough to get completely drunk but enough to get a good buzz going.
“Heya Mac!” a familiar voice spoke when he entered the bar tonight, he scans the bar which was surprisingly empty for the most part save for the ones that were already too drunk to be coherent in any sense of the word he spots three figures, one of them was Carrot Cake the owner of the local coffee shop Sugarcube Corner where his wife works at, next to him was Bulk Biceps AKA “Snowflake.” He’s usually says one or two words usually in a loud voice but he’s a decent person to hang around with. The last person with them was a surprise though he was dressed in a type of military uniform that had been altered but retained that professionalism, no one really knows his name but he usually goes by the nickname “Discord” rumor has it that he spent some time in a mental hospital after he came back from Vietnam. He was recently released giving him a clean bill of health; for the most part he’s harmless aside from pulling some minor pranks he’s generally harmless.
“YEAH!” Bulk shouted making his companions wince.
“Bulk, you really need a volume button for that voice.” Discord replied sarcastically, Carrot nodded and motioned for Big Mac to join them.
“So what brings you guys here tonight?” he ask them.
“I needed a night away from the wife and kids.” Carrot replies. Bulk just shrugs his shoulders in response.
“I’m just here to take advantage of the obligatory military discount to veterans.” Discord replies. Big Mac nods and motions a waitress and ordered a round of drinks.
“Well at least I’m not drinking alone tonight.” he said. And soon the drinks started to flow, now normally Mac would stop at three or four bottles of beer but for some reason he felt compelled to drink more than the usual amount that he does, during this his companions were trying to tell stories that helped fill in the void of an somewhat empty bar.
Carrot stood up and staggers slightly over to the jukebox “You know what? We need some music here.” He said and places a couple of quarters into the slot and squinted at the selections, shaking his head he taps the buttons for the song and stumbles back to the others. Now by this time Big Mac was fairly drunk, and as common sense tells us that there are different types of drunks, happy, flirty and others.
Unfortunately Big Mac is an emotional one, when the song has reached its chorus he shot up and quickly wiped the tears from his eyes and glares at the offending jukebox. He snorted and stomps out of the bar with three pairs of eyes looking at his retreating figure in worry. Meanwhile Big Mac marched to his rust red pickup that belonged to his grandfather and reached into the glove box, he felt around for a moment before he felt the familiar feel of the object that he was looking for, he pulls it out and calmly walked back into the bar.
By this time the waitress was on the phone with the local sheriff explaining the situation when the doors opened and Big Mac walked in and proceeded to calmly approach the jukebox, and to the surprise and shock to everyone he raises an antique Colt .45 pistol at the jukebox and pulled the trigger. A resounding “BANG!” came from the gun and the jukebox was silenced, he then hung his head down and placed the gun on the table next to him, by this time the sheriff showed up along with his deputy.
He looks at the scene and sighs “Mac, I’m afraid I’ll have to take you in for reckless discharge of a gun.” He said as his deputy cuffs him.
Mac snorted “Reckless my red ass, I hit just where I was aiming.” He slurred as they put him in the back of the car but not before collecting the gun that was used.
“Well that was a thing.” Discord said watching the proceedings.
“Yeah.” Bulk commented forgoing the usual boisterous exclamation.
“You do realize that someone will have to let Granny Smith know what happened right?” Carrot asked rhetorically, Discord and Bulk paled at that.
“NOT IT!” Bulk shouted panicked.
“Not it!” Carrot said just as fast.
“Not-shit.” Discord realized that he had the task of informing Big Mac’s grandmother that her grandson was in jail “Fine, but Bulk’s coming with me.” he said grabbing the man.
“Why?” Bulk asked the former military man.
“I’ll need a human meat shield while I make a tactical retreat.” Discord replied bluntly.
The next morning...
Big Mac groaned as the light of the sun hits his eyes, he rolls to avoid the offending light and hits the floor. He staggers up cursing to himself and stumbles into the shower; he jumps slightly as the cold water hits his bare chest, as he struggles to piece together the events of last night he hears his youngest sister call for breakfast, he shuts the water off and dries off and slips on a pair of jeans and a t-shirt and he ambles down the stairs where the smell of breakfast was waiting for him. He sits down to see Applejack and Applebloom already eating their food, he looks down to see that a plat wasn’t set for him, he turns his attention to his grandmother who was giving him a scowl. He shivered remembering receiving that look from her when he was Applebloom’s age right after picking a fight with a senior from Crystal Prep.
“Macintosh Apple.” Granny Smith began, and Mac winced at the full use of his name to start a conversation “You really done it now, you got yourself drunk and shot a jukebox with your grand pappy’s Colt.” Mac winced again at her tone “You’re lucky that Berry didn’t press charges and you’re also lucky that you didn’t shoot anyone. Now do you have anything to say before I pass judgment?” she asked rhetorically.
“Granny, I wasn’t in my right mind when I shot that jukebox, and I promise that it will not happen again.” Mac said apologetically.
“Good, because you will be helping Berry for the next two weeks and that means you will come home straight back here and do your chores starting today.” She said sternly, Mac hung his head down and headed back upstairs to get ready for work.
The end.
Author's Note
Me: I know it's short but this is meant to be a one-shot.
So until next time Hoody Hoo!
