The Crystal Appleby Blind GardenerChaptersIntroGranny Smith's TaleApplecore's TaleIntro"Applejack, Applebloom... Big Mac. Gather round y'all. I've got something important to say to you." Granny Smith unexpectedly announced from her throne of a rocking chair. "And this is very important. Hurry it up." "Granny, you know I gotta do the dishes after dinner" Applejack said gently "Can't this wait until af..." "The dishes can wait, this here is important, especially for you." Granny Smith interrupted "And if I don't tell you now, I might never work up the courage to do so. So hurry it up." Applejack swallowed heavily. Granny needed to work up the courage to tell them all something? Granny was one of the bravest, most self assured ponies that Applejack knew! "Yess ma'am" Applejack said, plopping herself down next to her grandma's throne, alongside Apple Bloom and Big Mac. "Now, you know I won't be around forever, Applejack. You're gonna be in charge of the clan after I go. So it's important that you learn from my mistakes. Which is why I here am telling them to you now. I'm only going to tell you once, so listen carefully. I'm going to tell you why we don't trust new things, and how your father died and your mother run-oft." "Granny, I was there when he died. I was right there, I remember exactly what happened." Applejack objected. The grizzly scene was flash frozen into her memory, and she shuddered at the thought of it. It overwhelmed her other memories of the time, and details were missing here and there... but she would never forget. She glanced at Big Mac to see if he was having a similar reaction, but Big Mac just sat there, staring blandly ahead. "What you don't remember are the events leading up to it." Granny's commanding voice forced Applejack to bow her head in submission. "Now, be you quiet and receive wisdom." Apple Bloom glanced rapidly between Big Mac, Applejack, and Granny Smith uncertainly. She could feel the tension in the air, but didn't really understand what was going on. "Is this a story about Mom and Dad?" She asked hopefully. She liked stories about Mom and Dad. "Apple Bloom, I don't think you want to be hearing this story... Granny, she's only a kid! She doesn't need to hear this!" Applejack said, stomping a hoof. "It's gonna give her night terrors." "I like scary stories!" Apple Bloom announced enthusiastically. "I'm brave enough it won't give me night terrors! I'm not a chicken like scootaloo!" "Go to bed Apple Bloom. Tha's an order." Applejack commanded. "Awww..." Apple Bloom began to trot away, but Granny smith held up a hoof. "She can stay." Granny Smith said serenely "But Granny!" Applejack "Girl needs to learn sometime." Granny said reasonably. "Mac, back me up on this one!" Applejack said. Mac continued to stare blankly ahead. In the dying light of the sun, darkness and light warred across the tepid pools of his eyes. "Mac?" Applejack asked, touching her brother's shoulder. "Ah'm paying attention, I swear!" He announced with a start. "R...Riiiight" Applejack said carefully. Big Mac always acted awfully strange when Da's death and Ma's runoft were brought up. It must have affected the big palooka even worse than Applejack, and she still had nightmares from time to time. She gently patted her brother on the barrel, and felt that his whole body was tense and shuddering. Applebloom continued to watch the byplay, confused. "When do I get to hear the story?" She asked hopefully. "Now." Granny smith said, interrupting anything Applejack wanted to say with a carefully directed glare. "I wasn't always the elderly matriarch that you know me as." Granny Smith began. "Once I was young and uncertain, like you yourself Applejack." "No way, you were never young Granny!" Applebloom announced confidently. "Believe it or not Apple Bloom, I was once younger than you are now," Granny Smith said with a playful gleam in her eye "No way!" Applebloom squealed with delight. "Careful, you're starting to sound like that lah-ti-dah friend of yours Sweetie Belle" Granny Smith teased gently. Applejack just scowled. Perhaps Granny Smith saw some of the displeasure in Applejack's voice, as she quickly returned to the story. "Ahem. As I was saying, I wasn't always in charge of the whole Apple Clan. The matriarch when I was young was ole Ida Red, my grandma. Her husband Yataka had been a very quiet man from a far off land, could barely speak Equestrian. I... failed to include him effectively after Ida died and left the position of Matriarch to me. That'd be my first of many early failures and hard learned lessons. But I digress." Applejack was shocked that the indominatable old warehorse was even willing to admit to such a failure. In Applejack's memory, Granny Smith had always been a powerful force for inclusion amongst the apple clan, no matter how different they were. To hear that this was actually a thing that Granny Smith had learned from experence and wasn't born with was... well, shocking. And it wasn't even the part of the story that was 'important'. Just a little digression. Granny noticed the shock on her grand daughter's face "Ida passed away from a freak weather accident just a year after I'd given birth to my firstborn, Braeburn's mother. I wasn't prepared to have been selected in her will as the next matriarch. That's why Ah've been preparing you for so long. Just in case something unexpected happens to me." "But Granny, If you were so inexperienced, why were you selected" Applejack asked. "Now honestly, that was tradition. The position is always passed from Grandmother to Granddaughter." Granny smith said "So Auntie Applesauce was right out. Mah cousin Goldie might have been chosen instead, but well... you saw her place. Besides which she never married." "But Goldie has children!" Apple Bloom objected. "A mare doesn't have to be married to have kids, Apple Bloom." Applejack said gently, rubbing her little sister's head "oh." Apple bloom said, then thought a moment. "OH!" "Most o' them were adopted." Granny Smith said "She swore off stallions after the first two. Spent the rest of her time with mares after that, but that's neither here nor there." "What does that mean?" Apple Bloom asked, as Applejack blushed. "Means that she dated mares instead of stallions." Grannie said. "You can do that?!" Apple Bloom's eyes were wide as eggs. "Well, yes, iffen' you want to." Granny Smith said gently. "Good! Boys are stinky!" Apple Bloom said firmly. Granny Smith chuckled. "You might find your opinion on that changing as you get older dear." "Nuh-uh. I'ma gonna date Scoots and Sweetie!" Apple Bloom said, stomping the ground. "Better ask them if they're alright with that first, squirt" Applejack said. Apple Bloom glanced at Applejack and Granny Smith. "More story!" She demanded, impetuously. Chuckling Granny Smith continued. "Anyway, I'd just given birth to my firstborn when I had leadership thrust upon me. I made some mistakes, especially Balancing the Books. little as I'd say something bad about Celestia. The Interdict made balancing the books even harder" "The Interdict?" Apple Bloom asked. "Apple Bloom, the story isn't going to go nowhere if you keep interrupting it like that!" Applejack said frustratedly. "No, it's O.K, it's important" Granny Smith said. "A long long time ago, the Apple family decided to try to make more money from apples by hording them. This caused a huge famine across Equestria, and huge recession. As a result, we were ordered by the princess herself to sell all of our apples every year, except the ones we preserve for later, and those we have to sell within five years. That's why the best apples in Equestria are sold for the most cut-rate prices. We get fined every time we fail to sell most of our apple stock. I had a hard time setting the prices correctly in the early days, so we got hit with a lot o' fines." "Is that why the farm's so run down, Granny?" Apple Bloom asked, eyes wide. "Eyup." Big mac said somewhat accusingly, before anyone else could speak. The others stared at him in shock. Applejack coughed. "Please continue, and for the love of Celestia, no more interruptions, or I'll be sending you to your room Apple Bloom." "Right, where was I? Oh yes. I made some mistakes, especially with the interdict. We weren't exactly poor before I took charge, but we weren't exactly rich after. This put a lot of stress on me and my husband, so we didn't have much time for our children, especially after I gave birth to three unicorn triplets. That'd be your dad and his brothers." "Now wait here a darn tootin minute, This here is the first time I've heard about any brothers, granny." Applejack said demandingly "Didn't I tell you Flim and Flam were your uncles?" Granny asked head cocked to the side curiously. "What?! No! You didn't!" Applejack's consternation bled heavily into her voice. She glared daggers at her oblique Granny. "Oh. Well, they weren't Flim and Flam back then. They were Apple Core, Apple Wedge and Apple Slice. Apple Core's your father, dear." Granny said gently, patting her knee "I knew that already." Applejack said with a roll of her eyes. "Just making sure dear" Granny smith said with a serine, yet somehow mocking grin. "If I could tell the tale without interruptions?" Author's Note First chapter, yay! Granny Smith's Tale"Now where was I? Oh yes. I made a bevy of blunders early on in my career, not the least of which was my inability to handle your father." Granny said, leaning back into her chair. "They were precious darlings... Wedge and Slice were gregarious, and all one could hope for from an apple.... Kindle a fire for me, would you Mac? It's getting dark." "Those two shiesters were all one could hope for from an apple?" Applejack asked dryly. "Don't knock them 'till you've learned about them." Granny said "Both 'o them were hard workers, and they were my best apple salesmen. When they was children they were always loading up their little carts with apples and having races to see who could sell all of the apples from their cart the fastest for the most bits. One time Wedge managed to convince Filthy to leap from the second floor of the mansion into a cart of apples, turning them into applesauce. Then he convinced Filthy's mam to pay for the apples 'ruined' that way," Granny chuckled at the memory "It took Filthy nearly a week to clean the apples out of his mane, and he and my three Apples were all close friends." "My pa was friends with Diamond Tiara's father?" Applebloom demanded. "Now see here Applebloom, Filthy Rich has always been a friend of the family. Just because you don't get along with his daughter is no reason to hate him." Applejack said gently "He's helped us out loads of times." "Slice was the less devious of the two, he helped plant and grow the library tree. He used to charge the old librarian for maintenance, brought a load 'o apples to her place every week, regular as clockwork. He was sweet on her, though she was more than twice his age at the time." "Ewwwww" Applebloom said. "I wonder... Applejack, you sweet on the new librarian?" Granny asked hopefully. "What? No! Twilight and I are jus' friends!" Applejack responded, startled. "Too bad, she could be useful on the farm" Granny said with a click of her tongue, leaving Applejack speechless. "What about that Rainbow friend of yours? No? Nevermind...." Granny Smith sighed, shaking her head. "Your father though, he was always reading. Books about engineering, about agricultural theory. Kept saying he wanted to learn more about the world. At the time I thought he was lazy. I took the books away from him when I saw him with them. Called them dirty things, burned one once." Granny Smith pulled a deep breath through her nose. Applejack stared at Granny Smith in shock "Never tell Twilight you burned a book." She said, still limp jawed. "It was a mistake. All I was doing was driving the poor boy away and further into his obsessions. He was weaker than his brothers, and until they got their cutie marks, Wedge and Slice were always standin' in for him for the chores. They looked so much alike, the other members of the family couldn't tell when they swapped. This just made him weaker. He wasn't really up to a full day's work on the farm. And then the Timberwolves took your grandpa...." Granny wiped her face with her handkerchief. "And suddenly the three of them had to do what Mac's been doing since they left. Taking care of the farm. I..." She wiped her face again. "Slice and Wedge got their marks fast but your pa was a late bloomer. A really late bloomer." She shook her head "The work was too much for him. He... ran away. To college. The Canterlot School for Gifted Unicorns." "Now Granny, We weren't born in Canterlot, and I know he died here. He clearly came back." Applejack asked her sniffling Grandma. She was mighty disturbed to see her normally unflappable grandma crying. "I know it's just... I drove him off. This was my fault. My own son left. I made it up to him later but... It still hurts" Granny choked "Especially with him... gone for good now. Could i have a glass of cider?" She sipped at the glass Mac had gotten her and drank it while Applebloom and Applejack pondered this new information. "He left a letter saying he was looking for a way to modernize the farm." Granny smith said, once she had regained control of her voice. Applejack scoffed "The farm don't need to be modernized. We've been doing it the earth pony way, and that's jus' fine." "That's what I told him" Granny said with a nod. "But he was never big on listening to me." Big Mac, however, glared at his sister in silence, until she felt the oppressive weight of his gaze. "You got something to say there, Mac?" Applejack asked, wide eyed. "Eeeenope." Big Mac said, with an aura of dead finality. "Anyway... One day he comes back from school with his cutie mark, and a girl. A pink earth pony named Núcleo Corazón." Granny said, easing her way back into the story. "That's mom!" Applebloom said with a happy jump. "Eeeeyup" Big mac agreed with Applebloom. Granny nodded. "The first thing he says to me when he gets home is 'mom, I'm married.' I dare say I fell right over, and then he clomped over to me and said 'And I'm ready to work on the farm.' I was overjoyed." She nodded. "Though my daughter-in-law was a harder worker than my son, despite her peculiar heart cutie mark." She laughed softly to herself. "He still wasn't a hard worker, you know, even after all that. Spent his time rigging machines to do the work for him. Trick he learned while in school I suppose." She shook her head "Still, you can take the apple out of the farm, but you can't take the farm out of the apple. Without him we probably wouldn't have kept the farm. His machines saved us from the remaining debts that my accidental fine accrual had racked up." She turned to Big Mac "And then when you were born, I was fit to explode from joy." Big mac simply nodded. "You were such a cute little thing. Big, healthy, and an earth pony. Everything I was hoping for. I sometimes worried I was going to spoil you rotten but you turned out alright despite my pampering." Big Mac muttered something quietly that neither Applejack nor Granny could make out. "I was surprised at how good with foals Corazón was. She said that she didn't have any siblings. Though really I never learned much about your mother. She was very... close lipped about her past, and I wasn't inclined to look the mare in her mouth. Applejack was born after, of course, and Apple Bloom was a late surprise, but your father kept working in his 'workshop'. And then the accident happened." Applebloom raised her hand "Where was the workshop?" "Don't go looking for it." Granny said firmly. "It's still dangerous." Applejack shook her head "Granny, I don't need to hear this part, I was there." She said, a note of panic entering her voice. "Applebloom was just two months old." Granny started. "You were so little Applejack, but you loved your sister so much. You wanted to use your dad's automatic apple squeezer to make her some applesauce, so you went into Core's shed." "Grandma, please don't" Applejack said, starting to shake. "And you didn't come out. For hours. Your mom and dad panicked and started looking for you, along with Big Mac, he was such a diligent son. It was your dad who found you, trapped in the machine. You had fallen in and were quite scared." "Grandma... please..." Applejack said, tears dripping from her eyes "I don't want to think about it. I don't want to remember." "He got you out of the mashing machine but... something went wrong. The Apple Juicing machine he was working on activated, and you got pulled in. He propped it open with a shovel and fished you out, but..." "It exploded." Applejack said "It had started making this odd 'ptoing' sound, and shaking really hard, and Dad threw me across the room and leapt over me, and then there was a loud noise and heat and apple smell, and dad wasn't moving, and he was so heavy on me and and..." "And your mom ran away." Granny smith said with a nod "When she saw what happened to him. Your uncles went to chase after her to bring her back, and didn't return for years.... without her. She probably died in the forest. I took an axe to what was left of your da's machines. They were too dangerous, and I didn't know how to work them anyways. You never could remember very well the time before after that." Applebloom, shaking and slightly green with fright poked the sobbing, collapsed Applejack worriedly. "Applejack? Big... Big Sister?!" "I knew how to work them." Big mac suddenly declared defiantly. "But you wouldn't let me. What was the point of this story, Granny." He gently touched the weeping Applejack with a hoof. "All you did was hurt Applejack and scare Applebloom. Ah'm going to bed, and I'm taking the girls with me." He levered Applejack up onto his back, then gestured for Applebloom to come with him. "Ah hope you're happy about what you've done granny." He glared at her, then left the old mare alone. Granny stayed on the deck and stared into the dwindling flames of the fire, then with a sigh, she threw her bottle of cider into the fire. "To family." She said with a heavy sigh. Then she too turned and ambled her way to bed. Author's Note Thanks to Magnetbolt for prereading! Applecore's Tale"I work on a farm, and there's plenty out there that can kill me. This recording is, what amounts to, my last testament. I keep it on myself, and change it every so and so. Applejack, Big Mac, if either of you scamps stole this from me, return it to me and do not listen to it further. If, Celestia forbid, I am deceased then I ask you listen to it only when you feel ready in your heart. I love you both. I also love you, my new child on the way, but I do not yet know your name. You may think of the Apple Family as a loving, tight knit community that is fairly accepting of outsiders, and it is, but it wasn't particularly accepting of outsiders who were born in its midst. It's one thing to have a unicorn or a pegasus for a friend, or a husband or wife. It's an entirely different matter to be born one into the Apple Family. I, for one, was born a Unicorn. I didn't exactly have the happiest of childhoods as a result. My mother was a cast iron terror. For example, on one particularly cold day when I was dreading going to play among my 'friends' in ponyville, I turned to my mother and said "Mom, my hooves are cold, and nobody likes me." Her response was fairly typical of her "Nonsense, son. You haven't met everyone yet, and you can sit on your hooves." That's around when I started wearing a hat to hide my horn. I love my hat, the purpose might have been dishonest, but it's a nice tough stetson, and I love how it looks, even if the purpose was dishonest. Mother... She never approved of my machines. She's wrong though, we need them. Running the farm is hard work, and it killed my dad, and his dad before him. The Apple Stallions die young. In trying to avoid that fate, I've driven myself into it. The irony doesn't escape me. My story should begin at the beginning, I suppose, not meander on without a point. I have always been different, even from an early age. Different from the Apples by dint of being a unicorn. Different from my own brothers by dint of my studious nature. Different from unicorns by dint of my efforts to learn how to make things run on earth pony magic. It wasn't until I ran off to college that I even made friends. No, that's not true. Wedge and Slice were my friends, my dearest and truest. But they were also my brothers, and it was still a lonely life. When I started wearing my hat, they both got their own hats in solidarity. When my youthful crush, Rainbowshine, turned me down for Filthy Rich, they helped me play pranks on the pair until, somehow, the two became something like friends as well. I suppose that was when I stopped hiding my nose in books, and started seeking answers. Why were we so poor? According to the Carrots, it was our own fault. They said we were working too hard, and that it was costing us in time from our lives, and money to care for ourselves. When I stood back, and saw the farm... the glaring inefficiencies! We hoofed water to each individual tree, instead of having an irrigation system like Wheatgrass was implementing next door! But Mother always wanted me to work harder, to do more, to spend less time with my books. Not to putter around digging ditches and putting wood planks together with a book in one hoof and a hammer in the other. She even accused me, once, of corrupting my brothers with my useless ways after she burned a book about mechanics. It didn't matter that the books were often written by earth ponies, she didn't want their corrupting influence upon me. I had been reading it at the dinner table, not paying attention to the conversation around me. She had grabbed the book from me, and glared at it. "Family time is for family" She had stated darkly. "But ma, this could help on the farm. It has diagrams on how to induce cloud-formation without a pegasus." She had scoffed, and slammed the book shut. "I don't care if it has diagrams on how to conjure magic apples the size 'o a pony. No reading at the table. Besides, what would a unicorn care about farming techniques? Useless stuff." She had forgotten, once more, that I was a unicorn. Also, the book had been written by an earth pony, Naida Bowl. NOT THAT IT MATTERED. I had seethed, and tried to grab the book from her with my magic, at which point she had flung it forcefully into the fireplace. So I left. I wrote a letter to the Oranges, your more cosmopolitan cousins, to explain the situation and arrange my extradition. It included many urgent words, and a request for silence on their part. Bless their heart, they listened and we smuggled me off of the farm in the dead of the night. If you ever need a place to go to get away from the pain family can cause, go to the Oranges. They're good people. They gave me room and board in manehattan, which I paid for by working in the archives at the local governors office. I learned so much from the plans on file, and practiced my magic every night with Cousin Clementine. If you meet her, ask her for some of her coconut orange cookies, they are simply scrumptious! It wasn't long at all before I passed the tests to get into Celestia's School for Gifted Unicorns for post-secondary education. College was amazing, and I highly recommend it. The things I learned! The people I met! Including your mother. I'm sure, by the time you get this, your mother will have already told you her secrets, but in case she hasn't.... whelp Iffen she's still around, plug your ears for the next bit. When I call her my little princess? I'm not exaggerating. She's an Alicorn. You can unplug your ears now. So that said, and moving on, when I met her she was the Head Librarian at Canterlot's School for Gifted Uniforms... I mean Unicorns. When I met her she was disguising herself as a Uniform... I mean unicorn. Look, can't a colt like that stern librarian look? Wait, that's not appropriate to hear your father talking about. Is there an undo on this spell? No? Drat. Anyway, when I met her she was a unicorn. We did not get along at first, she thought I was a impertinent youth, and I may have called her a hard-flank. Honestly, I didn't intend to start flirting with her. Well, maybe I did a little, but what got us together wasn't all on purpose like. I was doing research for Professor Thornhide on greenhouses and the cultivation of roses. Found something rather interesting, roses are a type of apple. Imagine that! Anyway, I decided to do some auxiliary research on mechanization of agricultural labor forces, which lead me to a treatise on the 'lost crystal empire' which lead me to a scroll published by your very own mother. Gosh I love that mare. I won't share the details of our long courtship, but when I asked her about that scroll, that was our first positive interaction. She realized that I actually had a brain, and I realized that... well, to be honest your mother has always been and will always be a hard-flank, but it turns out that having the lot of you softened her up. But I learned she wasn't stuck up, and that was the important bit. After that we bumped into each other more and more. She'd invite me out to a magic demonstration, or a scholarly article, or a flower-eating-contest. I'd invite her barn dancing, cider tasting, or to a mechanics expo. Eventually we just found that we fit together. We moved into the same apartment to try it out for a few years, and for the most part, it worked... but your mother has this annoying habit, she likes to pretty up the place. She's not actually good at 'cleaning', more of 'hiding anything left on the table somewhere random'. If you lost any toys you left out in your childhood, and found them in the bathroom tub, or behind the mirror? That was your mother. Also, when she's sleeping, she blows huge bubbles of snot out of her nose. I'm talking enormous. Anyway, we got over that, and decided to get married. There was only one problem. Your grandma would not have approved of her son marrying a unicorn! Even though, I stress to repeat, I AM ONE! Fortunately, your mother is good at illusion magic. So she dolled herself up as a Earth Pony, took the name of Canción del Corazón and we made our way back to the farm. I'll always remember our wedding night. She was so beautiful in her dress. We kissed under the biggest tree on the farm, that old one in the north field. I hope it's still around. After that, we settled down. I started making deals with the Riches to help keep us afloat, your mother got our heads together and started mechanizing things. Slice and Wedge were great helps, very enthusiastic about the whole affair. They'd been working on the farm while I was in college, and were always eager to learn the things I had learned. And always, in the background, was my mother. Watching us with her steely eyes. By the time Big Mac was born, we had elevated water troughs, and automated irrigation systems for near every field on the farm. By the time Applejack was born, I'd built an 'EZ' apple harvesting machine. We were making so many apples, we near buried the town in them, but somehow the money wasn't getting any less tight. We had these suction cow milking machines too, but the cows didn't like 'em very much. Preferred a pony's touch. My speedy razor for sheep shearing was a big hit though, as was my chicken hotel/nestbox for wandering birds. When my third started coming along, I decided to automate the thing that Apples were most famous for. Jam and cider. Your ma doesn't like it very much. She complains that each time she makes a new baby, I go out and invent something big. I can't help it, I just feel challenged by her creation to make something of my own! And that brings us to now. I dunno if this stone can even record me over that awful racket, but I figure I may die here, so I may as well make a final update. I see my daughter, curled up between my hoofs, as that clanking machine I made quivers like a thing possessed in the background. I don't know what broke it, or how it happened, just that Applejack was dangling out of it when I barged in. I don't know why the door's stuck. No one seems to hear my hollers. Hard to come to terms with the fact that I'm right about to die. Socket A-1-6 jammed, Rod G-6-7 is snapped right off, and the pressure is building faster than the machine can release it. An explosion is inevitable, and the strength of the steel I had used only guaranteed a bigger boom. I wish I had thought about this possibility when I designed the dang thing. Hubris, thy name is me. Maybe I can batter the door down? Why did I have to make it so sturdy... the pins are twisted out of shape? How does that even happen? Nevermind. Windows. Too high, too small. Could I throw Applejack out of one? Yes, but she wouldn't run, she's clinging to my leg something fierce. The ceiling's too strong, going to funnel the explosion outwards. I'll need a way to protect her. Funny the thoughts that go through your head when you are about to die. Here, maybe some scrap metal could shield you. Wife was in contractions when I left to find Applejack. Hope my life doesn't end right as that new one begins. Add some padding. There, nice and cozy. Shhh. Shhh. Don't cry. Take good care of my hat for me, I'll be out right after you. Out the window you go little one. Racket's getting louder. There's this way my uncle who joined the royal guard used to end all his stories. He would put himself into impossible situations that no pony could survive. 'And then?' I would ask. "And then I died.' he'd respond. He would then sip at his cider. When I was a colt, this was the funniest thing in the world. Strange that It doesn't seem so funny now. 'And then?' I imagine you asking me while I sip some cider. And then I." Big Mac gently put down the glowing marble his father's thoughts were transcribed upon, anger misting his heart, and exhaustion burning in his muscles. He knew he would die young, from the legacy of work left to him. He knew he could not tell Applejack, the element of honesty, the truth without ripping his family, what was left of it, apart. He leaned against the wall of his room... and cried. Author's Note Cousin Clementine's coconut orange cookies 2 cups all purpose flour 1/2 cup white rice flour (for flavor) 1/2 tsp baking soda 1/4 tsp salt 3/4 cup butter 3/4 cup coconut sugar 1/4 cup raisins (optional) 2 eggs 3/4 cup fresh squeezed tangerine juice, with pulp (other oranges work well too) 1 tbsp fresh grated tangerine or orange zest 1 cup flaked coconut. For the frosting 1 cup butter 3 tbsp fresh orange zest 1 tbsp fresh lemon zest 3 tbsp fresh lemon juice or grapefruit juice 5 tbsp fresh clementine orange juice or blood orange juice 2 tbsp shredded coconut (optional) 32oz of powdered sugar. Prep. Combine dry ingredients, except sugar in one bowl, set aside. Beat butter heartily, slowly adding sugar until thick. Continue beating while adding eggs. Continue beating while adding juice. Continue beating while adding mixed dry ingredients until smooth. Fold in coconut. Drop by rounded teaspoon onto cookie sheets. Bake at 400 degrees for 10-12 min. Frosting Prep. Beat the butter hard, mix in the zest, continue beating, mix in some sugar, then some juice, then some sugar, then some juice until out of both. Add coconut. Spread on cookies. Recipes modified from ones on food.com Applecore's Applicious Apples Requires 1 bag of apples (not red delicious. Preferably Pink Lady) Directions: Acquire apples. Eat. Enjoy.
Intro"Applejack, Applebloom... Big Mac. Gather round y'all. I've got something important to say to you." Granny Smith unexpectedly announced from her throne of a rocking chair. "And this is very important. Hurry it up." "Granny, you know I gotta do the dishes after dinner" Applejack said gently "Can't this wait until af..." "The dishes can wait, this here is important, especially for you." Granny Smith interrupted "And if I don't tell you now, I might never work up the courage to do so. So hurry it up." Applejack swallowed heavily. Granny needed to work up the courage to tell them all something? Granny was one of the bravest, most self assured ponies that Applejack knew! "Yess ma'am" Applejack said, plopping herself down next to her grandma's throne, alongside Apple Bloom and Big Mac. "Now, you know I won't be around forever, Applejack. You're gonna be in charge of the clan after I go. So it's important that you learn from my mistakes. Which is why I here am telling them to you now. I'm only going to tell you once, so listen carefully. I'm going to tell you why we don't trust new things, and how your father died and your mother run-oft." "Granny, I was there when he died. I was right there, I remember exactly what happened." Applejack objected. The grizzly scene was flash frozen into her memory, and she shuddered at the thought of it. It overwhelmed her other memories of the time, and details were missing here and there... but she would never forget. She glanced at Big Mac to see if he was having a similar reaction, but Big Mac just sat there, staring blandly ahead. "What you don't remember are the events leading up to it." Granny's commanding voice forced Applejack to bow her head in submission. "Now, be you quiet and receive wisdom." Apple Bloom glanced rapidly between Big Mac, Applejack, and Granny Smith uncertainly. She could feel the tension in the air, but didn't really understand what was going on. "Is this a story about Mom and Dad?" She asked hopefully. She liked stories about Mom and Dad. "Apple Bloom, I don't think you want to be hearing this story... Granny, she's only a kid! She doesn't need to hear this!" Applejack said, stomping a hoof. "It's gonna give her night terrors." "I like scary stories!" Apple Bloom announced enthusiastically. "I'm brave enough it won't give me night terrors! I'm not a chicken like scootaloo!" "Go to bed Apple Bloom. Tha's an order." Applejack commanded. "Awww..." Apple Bloom began to trot away, but Granny smith held up a hoof. "She can stay." Granny Smith said serenely "But Granny!" Applejack "Girl needs to learn sometime." Granny said reasonably. "Mac, back me up on this one!" Applejack said. Mac continued to stare blankly ahead. In the dying light of the sun, darkness and light warred across the tepid pools of his eyes. "Mac?" Applejack asked, touching her brother's shoulder. "Ah'm paying attention, I swear!" He announced with a start. "R...Riiiight" Applejack said carefully. Big Mac always acted awfully strange when Da's death and Ma's runoft were brought up. It must have affected the big palooka even worse than Applejack, and she still had nightmares from time to time. She gently patted her brother on the barrel, and felt that his whole body was tense and shuddering. Applebloom continued to watch the byplay, confused. "When do I get to hear the story?" She asked hopefully. "Now." Granny smith said, interrupting anything Applejack wanted to say with a carefully directed glare. "I wasn't always the elderly matriarch that you know me as." Granny Smith began. "Once I was young and uncertain, like you yourself Applejack." "No way, you were never young Granny!" Applebloom announced confidently. "Believe it or not Apple Bloom, I was once younger than you are now," Granny Smith said with a playful gleam in her eye "No way!" Applebloom squealed with delight. "Careful, you're starting to sound like that lah-ti-dah friend of yours Sweetie Belle" Granny Smith teased gently. Applejack just scowled. Perhaps Granny Smith saw some of the displeasure in Applejack's voice, as she quickly returned to the story. "Ahem. As I was saying, I wasn't always in charge of the whole Apple Clan. The matriarch when I was young was ole Ida Red, my grandma. Her husband Yataka had been a very quiet man from a far off land, could barely speak Equestrian. I... failed to include him effectively after Ida died and left the position of Matriarch to me. That'd be my first of many early failures and hard learned lessons. But I digress." Applejack was shocked that the indominatable old warehorse was even willing to admit to such a failure. In Applejack's memory, Granny Smith had always been a powerful force for inclusion amongst the apple clan, no matter how different they were. To hear that this was actually a thing that Granny Smith had learned from experence and wasn't born with was... well, shocking. And it wasn't even the part of the story that was 'important'. Just a little digression. Granny noticed the shock on her grand daughter's face "Ida passed away from a freak weather accident just a year after I'd given birth to my firstborn, Braeburn's mother. I wasn't prepared to have been selected in her will as the next matriarch. That's why Ah've been preparing you for so long. Just in case something unexpected happens to me." "But Granny, If you were so inexperienced, why were you selected" Applejack asked. "Now honestly, that was tradition. The position is always passed from Grandmother to Granddaughter." Granny smith said "So Auntie Applesauce was right out. Mah cousin Goldie might have been chosen instead, but well... you saw her place. Besides which she never married." "But Goldie has children!" Apple Bloom objected. "A mare doesn't have to be married to have kids, Apple Bloom." Applejack said gently, rubbing her little sister's head "oh." Apple bloom said, then thought a moment. "OH!" "Most o' them were adopted." Granny Smith said "She swore off stallions after the first two. Spent the rest of her time with mares after that, but that's neither here nor there." "What does that mean?" Apple Bloom asked, as Applejack blushed. "Means that she dated mares instead of stallions." Grannie said. "You can do that?!" Apple Bloom's eyes were wide as eggs. "Well, yes, iffen' you want to." Granny Smith said gently. "Good! Boys are stinky!" Apple Bloom said firmly. Granny Smith chuckled. "You might find your opinion on that changing as you get older dear." "Nuh-uh. I'ma gonna date Scoots and Sweetie!" Apple Bloom said, stomping the ground. "Better ask them if they're alright with that first, squirt" Applejack said. Apple Bloom glanced at Applejack and Granny Smith. "More story!" She demanded, impetuously. Chuckling Granny Smith continued. "Anyway, I'd just given birth to my firstborn when I had leadership thrust upon me. I made some mistakes, especially Balancing the Books. little as I'd say something bad about Celestia. The Interdict made balancing the books even harder" "The Interdict?" Apple Bloom asked. "Apple Bloom, the story isn't going to go nowhere if you keep interrupting it like that!" Applejack said frustratedly. "No, it's O.K, it's important" Granny Smith said. "A long long time ago, the Apple family decided to try to make more money from apples by hording them. This caused a huge famine across Equestria, and huge recession. As a result, we were ordered by the princess herself to sell all of our apples every year, except the ones we preserve for later, and those we have to sell within five years. That's why the best apples in Equestria are sold for the most cut-rate prices. We get fined every time we fail to sell most of our apple stock. I had a hard time setting the prices correctly in the early days, so we got hit with a lot o' fines." "Is that why the farm's so run down, Granny?" Apple Bloom asked, eyes wide. "Eyup." Big mac said somewhat accusingly, before anyone else could speak. The others stared at him in shock. Applejack coughed. "Please continue, and for the love of Celestia, no more interruptions, or I'll be sending you to your room Apple Bloom." "Right, where was I? Oh yes. I made some mistakes, especially with the interdict. We weren't exactly poor before I took charge, but we weren't exactly rich after. This put a lot of stress on me and my husband, so we didn't have much time for our children, especially after I gave birth to three unicorn triplets. That'd be your dad and his brothers." "Now wait here a darn tootin minute, This here is the first time I've heard about any brothers, granny." Applejack said demandingly "Didn't I tell you Flim and Flam were your uncles?" Granny asked head cocked to the side curiously. "What?! No! You didn't!" Applejack's consternation bled heavily into her voice. She glared daggers at her oblique Granny. "Oh. Well, they weren't Flim and Flam back then. They were Apple Core, Apple Wedge and Apple Slice. Apple Core's your father, dear." Granny said gently, patting her knee "I knew that already." Applejack said with a roll of her eyes. "Just making sure dear" Granny smith said with a serine, yet somehow mocking grin. "If I could tell the tale without interruptions?" Author's Note First chapter, yay!
Granny Smith's Tale"Now where was I? Oh yes. I made a bevy of blunders early on in my career, not the least of which was my inability to handle your father." Granny said, leaning back into her chair. "They were precious darlings... Wedge and Slice were gregarious, and all one could hope for from an apple.... Kindle a fire for me, would you Mac? It's getting dark." "Those two shiesters were all one could hope for from an apple?" Applejack asked dryly. "Don't knock them 'till you've learned about them." Granny said "Both 'o them were hard workers, and they were my best apple salesmen. When they was children they were always loading up their little carts with apples and having races to see who could sell all of the apples from their cart the fastest for the most bits. One time Wedge managed to convince Filthy to leap from the second floor of the mansion into a cart of apples, turning them into applesauce. Then he convinced Filthy's mam to pay for the apples 'ruined' that way," Granny chuckled at the memory "It took Filthy nearly a week to clean the apples out of his mane, and he and my three Apples were all close friends." "My pa was friends with Diamond Tiara's father?" Applebloom demanded. "Now see here Applebloom, Filthy Rich has always been a friend of the family. Just because you don't get along with his daughter is no reason to hate him." Applejack said gently "He's helped us out loads of times." "Slice was the less devious of the two, he helped plant and grow the library tree. He used to charge the old librarian for maintenance, brought a load 'o apples to her place every week, regular as clockwork. He was sweet on her, though she was more than twice his age at the time." "Ewwwww" Applebloom said. "I wonder... Applejack, you sweet on the new librarian?" Granny asked hopefully. "What? No! Twilight and I are jus' friends!" Applejack responded, startled. "Too bad, she could be useful on the farm" Granny said with a click of her tongue, leaving Applejack speechless. "What about that Rainbow friend of yours? No? Nevermind...." Granny Smith sighed, shaking her head. "Your father though, he was always reading. Books about engineering, about agricultural theory. Kept saying he wanted to learn more about the world. At the time I thought he was lazy. I took the books away from him when I saw him with them. Called them dirty things, burned one once." Granny Smith pulled a deep breath through her nose. Applejack stared at Granny Smith in shock "Never tell Twilight you burned a book." She said, still limp jawed. "It was a mistake. All I was doing was driving the poor boy away and further into his obsessions. He was weaker than his brothers, and until they got their cutie marks, Wedge and Slice were always standin' in for him for the chores. They looked so much alike, the other members of the family couldn't tell when they swapped. This just made him weaker. He wasn't really up to a full day's work on the farm. And then the Timberwolves took your grandpa...." Granny wiped her face with her handkerchief. "And suddenly the three of them had to do what Mac's been doing since they left. Taking care of the farm. I..." She wiped her face again. "Slice and Wedge got their marks fast but your pa was a late bloomer. A really late bloomer." She shook her head "The work was too much for him. He... ran away. To college. The Canterlot School for Gifted Unicorns." "Now Granny, We weren't born in Canterlot, and I know he died here. He clearly came back." Applejack asked her sniffling Grandma. She was mighty disturbed to see her normally unflappable grandma crying. "I know it's just... I drove him off. This was my fault. My own son left. I made it up to him later but... It still hurts" Granny choked "Especially with him... gone for good now. Could i have a glass of cider?" She sipped at the glass Mac had gotten her and drank it while Applebloom and Applejack pondered this new information. "He left a letter saying he was looking for a way to modernize the farm." Granny smith said, once she had regained control of her voice. Applejack scoffed "The farm don't need to be modernized. We've been doing it the earth pony way, and that's jus' fine." "That's what I told him" Granny said with a nod. "But he was never big on listening to me." Big Mac, however, glared at his sister in silence, until she felt the oppressive weight of his gaze. "You got something to say there, Mac?" Applejack asked, wide eyed. "Eeeenope." Big Mac said, with an aura of dead finality. "Anyway... One day he comes back from school with his cutie mark, and a girl. A pink earth pony named Núcleo Corazón." Granny said, easing her way back into the story. "That's mom!" Applebloom said with a happy jump. "Eeeeyup" Big mac agreed with Applebloom. Granny nodded. "The first thing he says to me when he gets home is 'mom, I'm married.' I dare say I fell right over, and then he clomped over to me and said 'And I'm ready to work on the farm.' I was overjoyed." She nodded. "Though my daughter-in-law was a harder worker than my son, despite her peculiar heart cutie mark." She laughed softly to herself. "He still wasn't a hard worker, you know, even after all that. Spent his time rigging machines to do the work for him. Trick he learned while in school I suppose." She shook her head "Still, you can take the apple out of the farm, but you can't take the farm out of the apple. Without him we probably wouldn't have kept the farm. His machines saved us from the remaining debts that my accidental fine accrual had racked up." She turned to Big Mac "And then when you were born, I was fit to explode from joy." Big mac simply nodded. "You were such a cute little thing. Big, healthy, and an earth pony. Everything I was hoping for. I sometimes worried I was going to spoil you rotten but you turned out alright despite my pampering." Big Mac muttered something quietly that neither Applejack nor Granny could make out. "I was surprised at how good with foals Corazón was. She said that she didn't have any siblings. Though really I never learned much about your mother. She was very... close lipped about her past, and I wasn't inclined to look the mare in her mouth. Applejack was born after, of course, and Apple Bloom was a late surprise, but your father kept working in his 'workshop'. And then the accident happened." Applebloom raised her hand "Where was the workshop?" "Don't go looking for it." Granny said firmly. "It's still dangerous." Applejack shook her head "Granny, I don't need to hear this part, I was there." She said, a note of panic entering her voice. "Applebloom was just two months old." Granny started. "You were so little Applejack, but you loved your sister so much. You wanted to use your dad's automatic apple squeezer to make her some applesauce, so you went into Core's shed." "Grandma, please don't" Applejack said, starting to shake. "And you didn't come out. For hours. Your mom and dad panicked and started looking for you, along with Big Mac, he was such a diligent son. It was your dad who found you, trapped in the machine. You had fallen in and were quite scared." "Grandma... please..." Applejack said, tears dripping from her eyes "I don't want to think about it. I don't want to remember." "He got you out of the mashing machine but... something went wrong. The Apple Juicing machine he was working on activated, and you got pulled in. He propped it open with a shovel and fished you out, but..." "It exploded." Applejack said "It had started making this odd 'ptoing' sound, and shaking really hard, and Dad threw me across the room and leapt over me, and then there was a loud noise and heat and apple smell, and dad wasn't moving, and he was so heavy on me and and..." "And your mom ran away." Granny smith said with a nod "When she saw what happened to him. Your uncles went to chase after her to bring her back, and didn't return for years.... without her. She probably died in the forest. I took an axe to what was left of your da's machines. They were too dangerous, and I didn't know how to work them anyways. You never could remember very well the time before after that." Applebloom, shaking and slightly green with fright poked the sobbing, collapsed Applejack worriedly. "Applejack? Big... Big Sister?!" "I knew how to work them." Big mac suddenly declared defiantly. "But you wouldn't let me. What was the point of this story, Granny." He gently touched the weeping Applejack with a hoof. "All you did was hurt Applejack and scare Applebloom. Ah'm going to bed, and I'm taking the girls with me." He levered Applejack up onto his back, then gestured for Applebloom to come with him. "Ah hope you're happy about what you've done granny." He glared at her, then left the old mare alone. Granny stayed on the deck and stared into the dwindling flames of the fire, then with a sigh, she threw her bottle of cider into the fire. "To family." She said with a heavy sigh. Then she too turned and ambled her way to bed. Author's Note Thanks to Magnetbolt for prereading!
Applecore's Tale"I work on a farm, and there's plenty out there that can kill me. This recording is, what amounts to, my last testament. I keep it on myself, and change it every so and so. Applejack, Big Mac, if either of you scamps stole this from me, return it to me and do not listen to it further. If, Celestia forbid, I am deceased then I ask you listen to it only when you feel ready in your heart. I love you both. I also love you, my new child on the way, but I do not yet know your name. You may think of the Apple Family as a loving, tight knit community that is fairly accepting of outsiders, and it is, but it wasn't particularly accepting of outsiders who were born in its midst. It's one thing to have a unicorn or a pegasus for a friend, or a husband or wife. It's an entirely different matter to be born one into the Apple Family. I, for one, was born a Unicorn. I didn't exactly have the happiest of childhoods as a result. My mother was a cast iron terror. For example, on one particularly cold day when I was dreading going to play among my 'friends' in ponyville, I turned to my mother and said "Mom, my hooves are cold, and nobody likes me." Her response was fairly typical of her "Nonsense, son. You haven't met everyone yet, and you can sit on your hooves." That's around when I started wearing a hat to hide my horn. I love my hat, the purpose might have been dishonest, but it's a nice tough stetson, and I love how it looks, even if the purpose was dishonest. Mother... She never approved of my machines. She's wrong though, we need them. Running the farm is hard work, and it killed my dad, and his dad before him. The Apple Stallions die young. In trying to avoid that fate, I've driven myself into it. The irony doesn't escape me. My story should begin at the beginning, I suppose, not meander on without a point. I have always been different, even from an early age. Different from the Apples by dint of being a unicorn. Different from my own brothers by dint of my studious nature. Different from unicorns by dint of my efforts to learn how to make things run on earth pony magic. It wasn't until I ran off to college that I even made friends. No, that's not true. Wedge and Slice were my friends, my dearest and truest. But they were also my brothers, and it was still a lonely life. When I started wearing my hat, they both got their own hats in solidarity. When my youthful crush, Rainbowshine, turned me down for Filthy Rich, they helped me play pranks on the pair until, somehow, the two became something like friends as well. I suppose that was when I stopped hiding my nose in books, and started seeking answers. Why were we so poor? According to the Carrots, it was our own fault. They said we were working too hard, and that it was costing us in time from our lives, and money to care for ourselves. When I stood back, and saw the farm... the glaring inefficiencies! We hoofed water to each individual tree, instead of having an irrigation system like Wheatgrass was implementing next door! But Mother always wanted me to work harder, to do more, to spend less time with my books. Not to putter around digging ditches and putting wood planks together with a book in one hoof and a hammer in the other. She even accused me, once, of corrupting my brothers with my useless ways after she burned a book about mechanics. It didn't matter that the books were often written by earth ponies, she didn't want their corrupting influence upon me. I had been reading it at the dinner table, not paying attention to the conversation around me. She had grabbed the book from me, and glared at it. "Family time is for family" She had stated darkly. "But ma, this could help on the farm. It has diagrams on how to induce cloud-formation without a pegasus." She had scoffed, and slammed the book shut. "I don't care if it has diagrams on how to conjure magic apples the size 'o a pony. No reading at the table. Besides, what would a unicorn care about farming techniques? Useless stuff." She had forgotten, once more, that I was a unicorn. Also, the book had been written by an earth pony, Naida Bowl. NOT THAT IT MATTERED. I had seethed, and tried to grab the book from her with my magic, at which point she had flung it forcefully into the fireplace. So I left. I wrote a letter to the Oranges, your more cosmopolitan cousins, to explain the situation and arrange my extradition. It included many urgent words, and a request for silence on their part. Bless their heart, they listened and we smuggled me off of the farm in the dead of the night. If you ever need a place to go to get away from the pain family can cause, go to the Oranges. They're good people. They gave me room and board in manehattan, which I paid for by working in the archives at the local governors office. I learned so much from the plans on file, and practiced my magic every night with Cousin Clementine. If you meet her, ask her for some of her coconut orange cookies, they are simply scrumptious! It wasn't long at all before I passed the tests to get into Celestia's School for Gifted Unicorns for post-secondary education. College was amazing, and I highly recommend it. The things I learned! The people I met! Including your mother. I'm sure, by the time you get this, your mother will have already told you her secrets, but in case she hasn't.... whelp Iffen she's still around, plug your ears for the next bit. When I call her my little princess? I'm not exaggerating. She's an Alicorn. You can unplug your ears now. So that said, and moving on, when I met her she was the Head Librarian at Canterlot's School for Gifted Uniforms... I mean Unicorns. When I met her she was disguising herself as a Uniform... I mean unicorn. Look, can't a colt like that stern librarian look? Wait, that's not appropriate to hear your father talking about. Is there an undo on this spell? No? Drat. Anyway, when I met her she was a unicorn. We did not get along at first, she thought I was a impertinent youth, and I may have called her a hard-flank. Honestly, I didn't intend to start flirting with her. Well, maybe I did a little, but what got us together wasn't all on purpose like. I was doing research for Professor Thornhide on greenhouses and the cultivation of roses. Found something rather interesting, roses are a type of apple. Imagine that! Anyway, I decided to do some auxiliary research on mechanization of agricultural labor forces, which lead me to a treatise on the 'lost crystal empire' which lead me to a scroll published by your very own mother. Gosh I love that mare. I won't share the details of our long courtship, but when I asked her about that scroll, that was our first positive interaction. She realized that I actually had a brain, and I realized that... well, to be honest your mother has always been and will always be a hard-flank, but it turns out that having the lot of you softened her up. But I learned she wasn't stuck up, and that was the important bit. After that we bumped into each other more and more. She'd invite me out to a magic demonstration, or a scholarly article, or a flower-eating-contest. I'd invite her barn dancing, cider tasting, or to a mechanics expo. Eventually we just found that we fit together. We moved into the same apartment to try it out for a few years, and for the most part, it worked... but your mother has this annoying habit, she likes to pretty up the place. She's not actually good at 'cleaning', more of 'hiding anything left on the table somewhere random'. If you lost any toys you left out in your childhood, and found them in the bathroom tub, or behind the mirror? That was your mother. Also, when she's sleeping, she blows huge bubbles of snot out of her nose. I'm talking enormous. Anyway, we got over that, and decided to get married. There was only one problem. Your grandma would not have approved of her son marrying a unicorn! Even though, I stress to repeat, I AM ONE! Fortunately, your mother is good at illusion magic. So she dolled herself up as a Earth Pony, took the name of Canción del Corazón and we made our way back to the farm. I'll always remember our wedding night. She was so beautiful in her dress. We kissed under the biggest tree on the farm, that old one in the north field. I hope it's still around. After that, we settled down. I started making deals with the Riches to help keep us afloat, your mother got our heads together and started mechanizing things. Slice and Wedge were great helps, very enthusiastic about the whole affair. They'd been working on the farm while I was in college, and were always eager to learn the things I had learned. And always, in the background, was my mother. Watching us with her steely eyes. By the time Big Mac was born, we had elevated water troughs, and automated irrigation systems for near every field on the farm. By the time Applejack was born, I'd built an 'EZ' apple harvesting machine. We were making so many apples, we near buried the town in them, but somehow the money wasn't getting any less tight. We had these suction cow milking machines too, but the cows didn't like 'em very much. Preferred a pony's touch. My speedy razor for sheep shearing was a big hit though, as was my chicken hotel/nestbox for wandering birds. When my third started coming along, I decided to automate the thing that Apples were most famous for. Jam and cider. Your ma doesn't like it very much. She complains that each time she makes a new baby, I go out and invent something big. I can't help it, I just feel challenged by her creation to make something of my own! And that brings us to now. I dunno if this stone can even record me over that awful racket, but I figure I may die here, so I may as well make a final update. I see my daughter, curled up between my hoofs, as that clanking machine I made quivers like a thing possessed in the background. I don't know what broke it, or how it happened, just that Applejack was dangling out of it when I barged in. I don't know why the door's stuck. No one seems to hear my hollers. Hard to come to terms with the fact that I'm right about to die. Socket A-1-6 jammed, Rod G-6-7 is snapped right off, and the pressure is building faster than the machine can release it. An explosion is inevitable, and the strength of the steel I had used only guaranteed a bigger boom. I wish I had thought about this possibility when I designed the dang thing. Hubris, thy name is me. Maybe I can batter the door down? Why did I have to make it so sturdy... the pins are twisted out of shape? How does that even happen? Nevermind. Windows. Too high, too small. Could I throw Applejack out of one? Yes, but she wouldn't run, she's clinging to my leg something fierce. The ceiling's too strong, going to funnel the explosion outwards. I'll need a way to protect her. Funny the thoughts that go through your head when you are about to die. Here, maybe some scrap metal could shield you. Wife was in contractions when I left to find Applejack. Hope my life doesn't end right as that new one begins. Add some padding. There, nice and cozy. Shhh. Shhh. Don't cry. Take good care of my hat for me, I'll be out right after you. Out the window you go little one. Racket's getting louder. There's this way my uncle who joined the royal guard used to end all his stories. He would put himself into impossible situations that no pony could survive. 'And then?' I would ask. "And then I died.' he'd respond. He would then sip at his cider. When I was a colt, this was the funniest thing in the world. Strange that It doesn't seem so funny now. 'And then?' I imagine you asking me while I sip some cider. And then I." Big Mac gently put down the glowing marble his father's thoughts were transcribed upon, anger misting his heart, and exhaustion burning in his muscles. He knew he would die young, from the legacy of work left to him. He knew he could not tell Applejack, the element of honesty, the truth without ripping his family, what was left of it, apart. He leaned against the wall of his room... and cried. Author's Note Cousin Clementine's coconut orange cookies 2 cups all purpose flour 1/2 cup white rice flour (for flavor) 1/2 tsp baking soda 1/4 tsp salt 3/4 cup butter 3/4 cup coconut sugar 1/4 cup raisins (optional) 2 eggs 3/4 cup fresh squeezed tangerine juice, with pulp (other oranges work well too) 1 tbsp fresh grated tangerine or orange zest 1 cup flaked coconut. For the frosting 1 cup butter 3 tbsp fresh orange zest 1 tbsp fresh lemon zest 3 tbsp fresh lemon juice or grapefruit juice 5 tbsp fresh clementine orange juice or blood orange juice 2 tbsp shredded coconut (optional) 32oz of powdered sugar. Prep. Combine dry ingredients, except sugar in one bowl, set aside. Beat butter heartily, slowly adding sugar until thick. Continue beating while adding eggs. Continue beating while adding juice. Continue beating while adding mixed dry ingredients until smooth. Fold in coconut. Drop by rounded teaspoon onto cookie sheets. Bake at 400 degrees for 10-12 min. Frosting Prep. Beat the butter hard, mix in the zest, continue beating, mix in some sugar, then some juice, then some sugar, then some juice until out of both. Add coconut. Spread on cookies. Recipes modified from ones on food.com Applecore's Applicious Apples Requires 1 bag of apples (not red delicious. Preferably Pink Lady) Directions: Acquire apples. Eat. Enjoy.
