To Nopony in Particular

by Sir Squiggles

Rating: teen
Tags: Gore, Original Character, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Adventure, Dark
Length: 4835

I don't have long to live. Honestly, I'm pretty surprised that I've lasted this long, especially on my own. But it doesn't matter. In a few weeks, maybe even a few days, I'll be dead. Nopony survives long in the Badlands. Nopony.

I don't have long to live. Honestly, I'm pretty surprised that I've lasted this long, especially on my own.

But it doesn't matter. In a few weeks, maybe even in a few days, I'll be dead.

Nopony survives long in the Badlands.

Nopony.

Cover art by GravityFallsCrossovers

Published 2015-07-26 06:10:02 UTC
Last updated 2015-11-12 03:40:22 UTC

Day 1

Author's Note

Inspired by Andy Weir's "The Martian". If you haven't read it, I seriously recommend that you do. It is awesome

Enjoy! :raritywink:

Day 1

Well, to be technical, it's not really day one. I've been stuck here for three days, so this is really day three in the Badlands. But I've decided to make today day one of this, my journal.

Yep, I've decided to document my probably very short stay here, in case anypony else happens to read this at some point.

Heh. Somepony other than myself reading this? Yeah right.

I suppose mostly it's a way to keep myself sane. After my little panic attack a few days ago (you know, the whole 'AGH I'M GONNA DIE I'M BUCKED BUCKED BUCKED' thing), I figured it would be a good little mental exercise to have. I'd rather die of thirst or heat exhaustion than falling off a cliff because I thought I was being chased by zombie llama-sharks. That would just be embarrassing.

So far, things have been alright, considering the circumstances. I am, after all, still alive. Can't say the same for the rest of the crew.

I was the only survivor.

I suppose it would be important to let you know exactly how I got here. And by here I mean huddled in the corner of a burning airship, scribbling my last thoughts into a small book I found, awaiting certain death.

Well, it started when the helmspony Dazzleflash went off to 'investigate a strange noise'. Probably just an excuse to go and drink below deck, which at the time hardly seemed dangerous. The winds were fair, visibility was high, and we were on course. All fine and dandy. And then something happened. I don't know what. Some stray ember from a dying torch, probably, and an undetected leak in the balloon. And boom.

I was mending a rigging on bow of the Resilient when the balloon caught fire. The ship immediately and quickly dropped in altitude, throwing me onto the deck. Something really solid must have been underneath my head, because as soon as I hit the deck I was knocked out. I don't remember anything else, just waking up in the Badland dust, seeing the smoldering ruins of the airship. My guess is that, because I was unconscious, my body was relaxed and I was able to survive the fall. Pretty spectacular, aren't I?

When I arrived at the scene of the crash, it was honestly pretty traumatic. The only body I saw was that of the cook, Sloppy Joe, luckily but not seeing the others might have been worse. I knew that they were still in there, probably charred, or crushed. And, sure, I didn't care for many of them, and even loathed a few, but death is death. They're not coming back. But I did.

I suppose I still have a little bit of survivor's guilt, but overall, I'd say I've handled this reasonably well. I haven't gone off the deep end, and only really freaked out once. Sure, I have the threat of death hanging over my head every second of every day, but hey, I haven't died yet! That's a good sign! Plus, I got a couple of fairly good things going for me.

In the fall, for example, I was relatively and surprisingly unharmed. My only injury was a broken leg, specifically my right hind leg. It's still pretty painful, but I was able to set it with some hull fragments and cloth I found amongst the wreckage. I'm able to hobble around, though not for very long. I'm planning on doing as little movement as possible for a while. My injury will probably take a couple of months to heal, so I shouldn't go about making it any worse. I've also started working on a pair of crutches, to aid me in my hobbling.

Another thing is food and water. When we first sailed out of Canterlot, we brought along enough food and water for a crew of sixteen for five months; the journey to Saddle Arabia was supposed to only take three months, but we brought along more for peace of mind. After the crash, however, most of the food was destroyed, leaving me with about one and a half month's worth. One barrel of water survived the crash, so that should last me a couple weeks. Overall, if I ration it out, I should be able to stay alive until my leg heals and until I find a way to grow my own food. But that's future me's problem.

Also, though the Badlands are particularly known for extreme weather, it still has high winds, no cloud cover, and electrical storms. These may not be a huge deal on a ship the size of the Resilient, but it is for me. Luckily, the galley of the Resilient is one of the few parts of the ship that hasn't been completely destroyed, so I've inhabited that. Conveniently, that's where all the food and water was kept! Yay, random chance!!

So I've gotten decent first aid down, as well as food and water. What do I have to worry about? Well, I'm glad you asked.

I suppose it would be important to mention that the Resilient is on fire. Most of it, at least. The helium-filled balloon went up in flames several days ago, alighting the top deck of the ship. Already the top deck and the entire bow, or front part of the ship, is little more than charred timber, and the fire is spreading. Luckily, the stern, which, if you haven't figured out by now, is the back part of the ship, was torn away from the rest of the Resilient in the crash, so the fire is moving across it relatively slowly. But it is still moving, and it will eventually reach the cozy little room I now call home. And with my broken leg, I don't know if I'm gonna be able to move myself and all this food and water out before the flames reach me.

On the other hand, the fire is the only thing that's been keeping the Badlands wildlife at bay. Nopony has every really seen any creatures and lived to tell about it, but there is evidence. Biologists, archeologists, and adventurers have all brought back skeletons of monstrous beasts. Hell, that's every filly's and foal's favorite part of a museum. Little is known about these animals, but one thing that is certain is their carnivorous diet. So far nothing's tried to eat me, but I've been hearing chilling howls and shrieks every night since I've been here.

So, I'm kinda stuck with a double standard here. Fire goes go out, I die. Fire doesn't go out, I die.

Hurray.

But, like I said earlier, for now everything's pretty manageable. Tomorrow, I'll probably make my first attempt at moving some of the food to a room further away from the approaching fire.

But, for now, sleep.

Day 2

So remember the whole 'moving food to some other place' idea I had yesterday?

Yeah, terrible idea.

Moving around is painful enough as it is, so I don't know why I thought moving WHILE carrying things was gonna be any better.

First I had to decide where I would move. There aren't a whole lot of liveable spaces left on the ship that are far enough away from the fire. The only place I could find was a portion of cargo hold, but that had a massive hole that looked out onto the Badlands, which would make it easier for wild animals to find me if it ever came to that. I figured I might as well try and move some of the food and water there, so that when the fire did move over to the galley, I would only have to worry about getting myself out of there. And so I went back.

Once I had shuffled over to the first crate of food, I realized that, being an earth pony, I would have to either drag the crate with my mouth or stand on my hind legs, holding the food in my forehooves. After repeated failed trials of trying to move the food with my teeth, due to the frequent and heavy debris in the area, I realized the second option was now the only option. But did I stop to think that standing up on a broken leg may be a bad idea?

Hell no!

The instant I put my weight on my back leg, I collapsed with a scream of pain. Let me tell you, nothing, I repeat, NOTHING will EVER hurt more than that just did. After my nosedive, I stayed there for about an hour, moaning and wailing and clutching my leg. That's me, the strong, independent stallion of survival.

After lying on my back for ages bawling like a little filly, though, I decided to just take each individual item of food out and move it to the hold. Slow? Yes. Painful? Definitely. Inefficient? Certainly. But effective. In a mere four hours, I was able to move two full crates of food over to the hold. So thats about...what, five days worth? Six? Doesn't matter, it's a start.

So now I've given myself a little break. I'd give myself a raise too, if I could. I don't get paid nearly enough for this.

'Hey,' you might ask, 'it's already day two, and you still haven't told me who you are and how you got here!' That's correct, imaginary reader! I haven't, and its about time that I did.

Firstly, the name is Bond. James Bond.

Heh, not really. I've just always wanted to say that. My name is actually Steel Course. When you here that name, I bet you start thinking of a Royal Guard type of stallion. Tall, white or silver with a cold, hardy stare, somepony who's super masculine and tough, right?

Wrong.

I'm about average height, and a brownish color. I like to say it's a walnut tone, my friends like to say its the shade of cow dung. I also have a pretty small frame. I'm not a featherweight, but I'm certainly not a massive, hulking horse. The best word I can think of would be lithe. Probably not the best form for surviving alone in a desolate place, but oh well. Just another little problem I have to deal with.

Same goes for my being an earth pony. If I were a unicorn, I could teleport myself out of this mess, or at the very least use some magic to make things a little easier. If I were a pegasus, I could probably fly out of here in a week or so. But as an earth pony, I'm grounded and magic-less. The only thing I got going for me is my supposed 'earth-pony-strength', but I've never been strong at all. I'd rather have something like 'earth-pony-sight' or 'earth-pony-speed' or 'earth-pony-survival-in-the-badlands-skills'.

Anyways, let me tell you why and how I got here. I work as a carpenter. I basically do - well, did - repairs all over the ship. I fixed up the hull, riggings, and just about anything else that needed repairing. Wood is what I'm best with, but I can work with other materials as well, like metal. Anyways, I was a freelancer. Any airship coming into or out of Canterlot could have been my home for a week to three months or longer. I worked mostly with merchants, who were shipping their goods to and from remote, hard-to-reach places all across Equestria. Once I was invited to work on one of the Royal Guard's airships! Well, ok, so it turned out that they were really conmen disguised as guards, but oh well, it's still a pretty cool story.

Anyway, it was a good life, I suppose. Work was easy (carpentry is my special talent, after all), pay was good, I got to travel all over Equestria and beyond, and I met some really great people who became my lifelong friends.

At least, until this voyage.

From the beginning I could tell it was gonna be bad. Not as bad as it's been, but still pretty bad. Like 88% as bad.

When the captain approached me in the bar, I could tell something was wrong. He looked intoxicated, and spat as he spoke. He mentioned something about a trip to Saddle Arabia and huge amounts of gold, but never once told me the name of his ship or what he was carrying. Then he proceeded to boast about all of his past exploits, which I could clearly see were lies. But, to be polite, I just sat and listened. Eventually, he told me in his inebriated glory that I should join him and that he would, and I quote, "bestow more bits on me than Celestia's left cheek".

Yeah, don't worry, it didn't make any sense to me either.

But, I had been out of work for some time and needed the bits, so after I had met this guy, he took me to his ship and, let me tell ya, the thing was a mess. Honestly, it may look better as a steaming pile of broken timber than it did before. Planks were missing, the balloon was lopsided, and the hull looked pretty torn apart, like it had made one too many emergency landings. And those were just from looking at it. I didn't even want to know what else was wrong, but as the ship's carpenter, that's my job. So yay, a ton of work for me.

I did try and leave. I mumbled some excuse about my sick aunt or leaving the oven on back at home or something, but at that the captain went berserk. He started yelling at me through his thick beard about loyalty and camaraderie, but I think he was really just upset because I was the first carpenter in a while to dare step aboard his shoddy craft. After his little outburst, I meekly agreed to go on. That's when I met the rest of the crew.

First was Buttercup. Don't be fooled by her sweet name, she was a vixen. She was the first mate, and was almost as bad as the captain in leadership skills. She would stomp around the deck in heavy boots that gave a horrible clanking sound every time she set her hoof down, screaming orders and oaths at the crew. As time when on, the others and I began to associate her boots with fear. She would employ horrible means of discipline, from verbal threats to physical attacks. Once, when somepony was not "scrubbing the deck hard enough", she bucked him right in the chest. Poor guy was sent to the doctor for days.

Speaking of the doctor, Cold Feet, he was... interesting, to say the least. Any time you had to visit him he would try and convince you to let him heal you using one of his "new and improved methods of medical care". They were all insane. One time he tried to get me to eat my own foreleg off to help dull the pain of a sunburn. Yeah, he was definitely interesting.

Next was the cook, Sloppy Joe. He was a gruff, constantly grouchy stallion with no sense of taste whatsoever. The guy literally couldn't tell the difference between salt and sugar, leading to more than one unpleasant meal. Worst part was that he firmly believed his cooking was excellent and everypony else was wrong, uncultured swine. Strange, though, I don't think I ever saw him eat what he had made.

Then there was the botswain, Onyx River. From first glance you could tell he was from Canterlot, and every moment after that he would make sure that you never forgot. The guy had an ego bigger than the airship, always shamelessly self-promoting. In fact, he was so busy talking himself up I hardly remember him actually doing anything worthwhile. Mostly just pranced about the ship, reminding people about his supposedly-royal heritage and how he was "forty-second in line for the crown".

Next is Dazzleflash. Oh Dazzleflash. Overall, he wasn't that bad of a guy. Honestly, he was probably my best friend on that ship, though that isn't saying much. He was, as I mentioned earlier, the helmspony, in charge of the wheel. He was also a heavy drinker. More than once somepony else had to take control after he had fallen asleep in another one of his drink-induced slumber, and more than once he was viciously chewed out by Buttercup. His biggest fault and biggest gift was that he was unfazed by just about everything, so he always found his way back to the bottle.

Finally, there was Merope. She was the navigator, and a griffin. She's one of those people that you can't help but feel sorry for when you first hear about her, but then instantly despise as soon as you meet her. She must've had some trouble as a kid, because everything she would say to you would be an attempt to belittle you. She would insult anything, from your mother to your life to the way you walked, and then proceed to hyperbolize herself. It was actually kinda sad at first, but then it just got annoying, especially when she ever crossed the line with an insult.

So yeah, this was my metaphorical, three-week-long family. Oh, how I hated it.

So after meeting all these wonderful, charming people, I learned we were taking a shipment of gems to Saddle Arabia, in exchange for silk rugs. Really pretty swanky for such a lousy airship. The first week flew by (eh? Get it? "flew" by? Cause I was on an airship? Oh, never mind), with the biggest nuisance being Sloppy Joe's cooking. On about day sixteen we spotted another airship. Buttercup immediately began ordering us to battle stations, despite the ship's lack of any weapons whatsoever. The most deadly thing we had on board was probably Sloppy Joe's cooking. Seriously, that food was terrible. Anyway, turned out it was just another merchant ship, and they cleared off a day or two later. Meanwhile I spent most of my time fixing the ship. Honestly I'm pretty bummed that all my hard work has been reduced to smoldering ashes and crushed wood. I put a lot of pony-hours into this hunk of junk, I was kinda hoping it'd be worth the trouble at the end.

We were just a few days away from the Saddle Arabian border when the crash happened. I suppose I could try and hoof it (ha, get it? Another pun!) to the border, but that isn't at all realistic in my condition. I have a broken leg, little water and food, and no means of shelter. Plus the stretch of land between the Badlands and Saddle Arabia is grueling. It's a mountain range with steep cliffs and deep trenches, and it's riddled with caves. Countless explorers and cartographers have gone into these tunnels and never returned. The ones that have returned weeks later, weak and psychotic. Definitely someplace I do not want to go.

So, it appears I'm stuck here for a while. The fire is actually spreading a bit quicker than I originally thought. The winds no doubt carried it in this direction, but so far it hasn't gotten too close. Hopefully I'll be able to move most of the food and water out before it reaches me.

Speaking of which, I should probably go do just that. Maybe I can get through another crate in only three hours this time!

Day 3

Good news and bad news.

Good news is the fire went out last night!

Bad news is the fire went out last night.

It died out much sooner than I expected. I was thinking it would last at least a couple more days, maybe even a week, given all the firewood lying about. Honestly, I thought the fire would get me before the creatures would, which is why I spent all that time moving food. I did, by the way, happen to move quite a bit of it; just over three crates-full. How's that for efficiency?

Unfortunately, all that food is again in the room with the massive hole in it, so I DEFINITELY cannot live there. Also, I feel as though the galley is not the safest place either, given all the food, including myself, residing in it. So, I've decided that I have no other choice: I have to go out to the Badlands.

I know, it sounds like the worst idea I've had yet. I'm certainly not going to be able to get very far what with my bum leg, and I'm not going to have enough food or water for an extended stay. Plus, I don't know the land at all, but my best guess is that it's going to be extremely rocky. On top of all that, I have absolutely no idea what to expect out there. Again, Badland's creatures have never been documented, so I'm not sure exactly what scary monsters I'm going to be up against.

But in my opinion, it's a much better plan than staying in the galley, waiting to become some wild beast's brunch. I have no intention of going too far, and I plan to keep the shipwreck in sight. That way, I only have to take enough food and water with me to keep me alive for a day or two, plus some extra for emergency comfort food. Also, the terrain isn't entirely new to me. I have been able to get a pretty decent view of the land from the gap in the hull, and it looks like there are a some hills to the east, maybe about a quarter of a mile. If my memory serves me correctly, many of the hills in this area of the Badlands are riddled with small caves. If I can find one that's pony-sized and not pony-devouring-monster-sized, I should be in pretty good shape.

So yes, my faithful fake readers, against your wishes, pleads, and logical arguments, I am going to leave the Resilient. It may sound insane, but it's currently my best chance of survival. I've already packed a bag, so there's no use in trying to stop me. Well, if you existed that is.

Currently, I would say its somewhere between nine and ten in the morning. I'm gonna take a wild guess and say that I should get there in about three to four hours, if I can limp quickly enough. I'd better get moving.

Author's Note

Sorry for the shortness as well as the delay. I really should be more on top of this... :facehoof:

Anyways, it's currently 12:11 am where I'm at, so I'm sure this chapter is riddled with mistakes. Lemme know if you see anything that needs to be fixed!

Day 4

Well, I wasn't sure if I'd actually be alive by the time I wrote this. Guess it's my lucky day.

When I last left off, I mentioned I would be leaving the Resilient to go to some caves a little ways away. I brought enough food and water with me to last a little while, and I headed off. With my bum leg, it took about four hours or so. But when I got there, I realized my mistake.

I neglected to bring wood.

I know, sounds a bit anticlimactic, but it seriously is important to bring. Without wood, I wasn't able to fashion some makeshift spears to plant in the ground outside of my cave, just in case some ravenous beast decided to peek in. Even more importantly, no wood means no fire. Not only would fire have warmed me up (it is absolutely freezing in the Badlands at night, just by the way), but it also would have helped to repel any predators.

I only realized what I had done until after dark, when I reached the cave. As I had seen, there were lots of niches, some smaller than me, others large enough for the Resilient to have squeezed into. I ended choosing one at the bottom of the hill, as I had no strong desire to climb up a mountain with a broken leg. Funny, though, that would not be the worst idea I've had all week.

So, as soon as I saw that I forgot the wood, I panicked. I nearly leapt out of the cave to make a mad dash to the airship wreckage until I heard it. A long, drawn out sound, somewhere between a moan and a howl, just like what I had been hearing when I was still back at the ship. But this time, it was much, much closer. I'm pretty sure I heard some scuffling and rocks falling too, from the footsteps of whatever massive creature was nearby, but I didn't stay outside long enough to see if I was right. For the rest of the night, I stayed huddled up in a corner of the cave, as far away from the entrance as possible. I did hear about half a dozen more bizarre screams, but after a little while they went silent. Despite being frozen with fear throughout the entire ordeal, I did slip off into a restless sleep eventually.

But it all worked out. Nothing came knocking on my door. I am currently not in the belly of a beast. I'm not dead. In my book, I would consider that a success.

I plan to go back to theResilient today to pick up some wood and grab as much food as I can. Also, with the fire extinguished, I think that poking around ship and scavenging what items I can find would be really beneficial. There were all sorts of things on that ship, any of which could turn out to be useful. I think the first place to start would be the infirmary; if it survived the crash and the fire, there may be a first aid kit or something so that I can heal my leg quicker. That would be awesome. Or, even better, maybe the radio from the captain's cabin is still intact. If it is, I can send a message back to Canterlot, or the closest town, and hopefully I can get myself out of this mess. Some flares would be good too, in case they happen to send any pegasi out to search for the ship, but I doubt they will. Despite Equestria's outstanding safety policies and its many search-and-rescue teams, it's become common practice to exclude the Badlands from any extensive recovery missions. It's, to put it simply, way too big and way too dangerous. I'm not blaming anypony, though; Hell, if I were a pegasi and I were told to go searching for a single pony in the Badlands for a couple of weeks, I would laugh because I would believe it to be a joke. A scary, not-very-funny joke, but a joke nonetheless.

Anyways, enough of my ranting. I'm off to the ship.

Well, I'm bucked completely and utterly now. Because guess what? Something got into all the food I had moved!

It's gone. All of what I saved. All that remains are crumbs. A whole two months worth of food, gone.

There's still the stuff I left in the galley, but it's only about a month's worth, if I eat once a day. So basically not nearly enough. I am so, so, so bucked.

I don't even know what to do at this point. To tell you the truth, I was hoping in the back of my mind that I could just hold off long enough for a search party. And yes, I know I'm a complete hypocrite for saying that. I know what I wrote, but a small part of me had wished there was some hope of safety. But that's been crushed.

I'm honestly really, really scared now. I've been joking around and stuff so that I wouldn't go into a complete panic. But now, I'm really, really scared.

I don't want to die here.

Dear Diary...

Dear Diary,

I'm bucked. So bucked. Absolutely, positively, 100% bucked. Bucked on a whole new level of bucked. Bucked, bucked, bucked.

Alright. Deep breath. I'm not completely bucked. Let's look over the positive and negatives.

I'm stuck in the Badlands amidst the wreckage of the Resilient. Negative.

I have a few weeks' worth of food and water. Positive.

I have no survival experience. Negative.

I'm completely alone. Considering the crew I was with, I'm gonna say that's a positive.

I have little to no hope of being rescued. Negative.

Celestia-knows-what is lurking in the shadows, watching me. Negative.

I have no way of contacting anypony. Negative.

Everypony who's ever been lost in the Badlands has never returned. Negative.

Ok, never mind, I was right.

I'm bucked.