The Rescue of Princess Twilight Sparkle(redone)

by Jeffrey1225

Rating: teen
Tags: Princess Luna, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Princess Cadance, Comedy, Adventure, Shining Armor, Twilight Sparkle, Random, Princess Celestia, Dark
Length: 4105

Princess Twilight Sparkle is kidnapped! Celestia, Luna, Cadence, and Shining armor join together to rescue her! Of course, it doesn't go to plan.

Princess Twilight Sparkle is kidnapped! What do we do? Explosives? Check! All the royalty (Minus Twilight, she got kidnapped)? Check! The royal guard? Check! A telepathic web? Check! Bad puns? Check! Making jokes about Double Rainboom? Check! Checks? Check! Lesbian porn scenes with your parents? Che... Wait what?
But no, I wrote this story, and it sucked. Then I wrote it again, it didn't suck so much! Then I wrote a second chapter! That's about it. Third chapter! It also probably sucks!

Additional tags: Action
Additional Characters: Other, OC
Also the comedy tag isn't through the entire story. It appears occasionally.

Published 2015-07-22 02:50:01 UTC
Last updated 2015-08-21 23:11:00 UTC

Chapter two

Something has gone wrong. We don't seem to have an archived copy of that chapter.

Chapter three

"Shining Armor! We need some solution to save Twilight, Celestia, and Luna!" Cadence had been ranting for what seemed like hours. Her family was kidnapped, and Double Rainboom wasn't on YouTube anymore.

"I don't know what to do! Why are you looking at me? I never get a part! At least you show up!"

"You did have a part!" Cadence seemed offended.

"In which story line?"

"Our wedding, and when Tirek took over."

"Your part was bigger though! You sang a song... I never get to sing."

"Yeah, but you showed up!"

"You got a spin off story!"

"You had some dialogue! And that spin off story was with Discord, he stole the show."

"Tirek turned me into a snack. I was there just so I could be knocked out of the story."

"That's not true!"

"Yes it is! Even Discord got to sing!" Shining Armor seemed really upset about his lack of singing.

"No it isn't. Besides he just talked, and animated some instruments."

"Okay! Fine! You win. Back on track Cadence! We need to help Celestia, Luna, and Twiley."

"How do we do that?"

"We could ask the demolition team to blow a hole through the roof, and go in with elites and Wonderbolts." Shining seemed happy that he made a plan. That was usually Luna's job.

"That, is a good idea."

"We shouldn't do it though."

"Why not?"

"DHX can't sell any toys of us blowing up a building."

"Hmm, you're right, but we aren't gonna get any episodes this season."

"Okay, let's do it."

A newspaper titled Equestria Daily span around while a deep voice said; "Meanwhile! In the neigh-doers base!"

Luna groaned, Twilight grunted, and Celestia... Well Celestia was still unconscious.

Wait... Celestia snorted and shot strait up, well as straight up as one could be with their hooves tied. She whipped her head around, trying to get her bearings.

A cage... Really... You put a god with the power of the sun into a cage. She began to melt the cage... Well she would have if her horn wouldn't have been inhibited by a ring. Hmm.

She was stuck, oh, and Twilight and her Sister were there too. Great, no Princess of Friendship to Deus Ex Machina her out of this situation.

Celestia thought about how to get out and came to the conclusion that they were stuck until they starved or something.

Coming to this conclusion she got comfortable, and tried to go to sleep. At least it was quiet down here.

Silence, sweet sweet silence.

To quiet... No that's such a generic thing to say! Just sleep.

"Why can't something just... just explode!" Celestia yelled out in frustration.

Her voice echoed around the room for a moment, drifting back into silence. She seemed to have startled her sister and Twilight. "Sorry!"

Luna rolled her eyes. "Now Twilight, witness the ADD of my sister."

"Isn't it ADHD Luna? I don't mean to brag but I know A LOT about psychology, and ADD has nothing to do with impatience... It was to do with not being able to concentrate on one thing for a while. Speaking of psychology, I talked to someone once who said they constantly heard explosions, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?"

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMM

"I think I do now..."

"Huh? I can't hear you!"

"Explosions do that to you."

"Luna! Don't sass at Twilight."

"Thanks Princ-"

"That's my job" Celestia interrupted.

Suddenly the cages disappeared, so did the rope, and the inhibitor rings.

"Hmm I guess we just leave then?..." Twilight asked.

"No I think we should stick around for a while."

"Luna, what did I tell you about sass."

Pop. Shining Armor and Cadence teleported into the room, Shining sighed and handed Cadence a bag of bits.

"I told you all they would do was bicker." Cadence said of so smugly.

Shining Armor cleared his throat, "now then Princesses, shall we leave."

"Sure. So is there a ladder, or an elevator."

"You aren't wearing inhibitor rings... Why don't you try, oh I don't know, TELEPORTING."

"Sorry if Cadence seems a bit, eh, temper-ey. Her favorite episode is gone off of YouTube." Shining Armor gave a fake laugh.

"Brother, you do know 'temper-ey' isn't a word right?"

"Look! Is this really the place to have an argument! Sister, Niece, Twilight. Let's go!"

"H-Hey what about me!" Shining seemed offended that Luna left him out.

"Honey, pay her no mind, she is just jealous that she isn't hanging out around the coolest princess."

"SHUT UP!" Twilight cast a group teleportation spell and sent them all to Canterlot Castle."

There was a big banquet celebrating the rescue of the princesses, the music swelled up, and everything got smaller, and it everything got consumed by black.

FIN

Author's Note

Thanks for reading!

Chapter one

Author's Note

Wow, this took a while to write! All feedback is welcome! If you like the idea of this story, check out the group The Revolution of the Princesses
Also some credit goes to Aegis Shield, I kinda took the idea for the inhibitor ring from his story What Princesses Need.
Thanks goes to PinkLunaShy for giving me many tips when writing, also claiming her as the proofreader for this story.
Thanks!

Jeffrey1225

Chapter one

"Good job boys! We went done and caught ourselves a royal!"

"Hell yeah! And she can't do a thing with that fancy ring on her horn, What did you call it Derm-"

"Quiet! She can still hear with that thing on her horn. We need nick names, I'll be... Jason."

"I'll be Craig"

"Craig? Really? Ok. I'll be Jimmy"

"Allright Jason, tell me about this here ring-a-ling."

"Well it's a... Ummm... Well I don't know what it is. It basically blocks all magic coming from her horn."

Twilight sighed and wished they would just knock her out again. All of them must have dropped out of pre-school, Dermelt, or Jason, was the "brains" of the operation. He got through third grade... She thought about saying she would execute them when she got out of here, but the fact that they wouldn't know what execute means, and the piece of cloth tied around her muzzle and face prevented her from doing that.

She tried once again using EVERY type of magic she had, Normal, Peace, Love, Dark, Crystal, Ancient, Discordic, and Super-Kill-You-Every-Time-Rainbow-Magic. None of it worked, she tried to move her wings, her hooves, anything, nothing would budge. That was the one thing they were good at, tying knots. Unfortunately, the telepathy she held with the other princesses was prevented by the ring on her horn. Last resort, she tried screaming.

"Mmmmmmmmm!! Mmmffffff!"

"Quiet over there!"

"Mmm-Mmm!"

"I swear to Faust, you better shut up!!"

"Mmm-Mmm! Mmmmm! Mmmmmmmm Mmm!"

"Okay Your choice." Jason picked up what looked like a metal bug in a cage, and put it on her stomach and locked it on. He applied a starting spell to it and it started going over her stomach, tickling her very ticklish belly.

"Mmmmmmmmm! Hhhheee! Mmmmmmmmnnnnnnnnnnnnn!" She now tried to free her self by struggling with every muscle, to no avail.

"Now that will teach you to do what we say." Jason said, and put a quick silencing bubble over the chair that restrained her.

About an hour later

Finally the dreadful machine on her stomach stopped. Ahhh, sweet peace. She started thinking about how she got captured..... How did she get captured? She thought about this for a while.

A while later

BOOOOM BANG BLAST

"What in Equestria!! Gah, secure the princess, we'll use her for bargaining! Give up the act boys, were under attack!"

Twilight exhaled, and had a cloth pressed into her face, she fought... She breathed in... Black.

"Charges set princess!"

"Good. Luna take a group of guards around back and take the door, Cadence take a group and go through blast point B. Shining take the final group through blast point C. Elites your with me."

Ready sister

Ready auntie

Celestia cast a ignition spell that simultaneously blew up all of the charges that were planted. The explosion was deafening.

Celestia and her group streamed in through the blast under a protection spell. Her team fanned out but also kept close to the princess.

"We will meet up with Princess Cadence once we have searched the surrounding area. Once we are with her we will proceed into the room where we think Princess Twilight is being held. Keep up your guard."

***Luna***

She finished her message and told her team her plan.

"We go in and get behind the kidnappers, Princess Twilight is our number one priority, she must not be harmed."

She heard the explosions where the others were going in. Her and her guards all combined combustion spells and blew through the door and wall. Splintered wood, concrete, and mortar sprayed the wall in front of them.

"We will be meeting up with Shining Armor soon. Keep a sharp eye."

***Cadence***

"Okay, were going in trough the wall, according to reports Twilight is three rooms over, were to get in and deal with the captors with Celestia, while Luna and Shining prevent their escape. Clear?"

"Yes! Princess!" They all called out in unison

Cadence sent the telepathic message.

The wall in front of her erupted into a ball of melted concrete and fire. She threw up a protection spell surrounding her squad. After dousing the remains of the wall her team rushed into what seemed to be an abandoned office.

After looking around in the room and making sure there were no traps they made a hole in the wall into another room, identical to the one they entered in.

"We need to search a bit more, then meet up with Celestia, and save Twilight."

***Shining Armor***

"Alright boys this is a simple mission, we've run it a thousand times. We drop in and prevent the kidnappers escape. Be aware we do not know how many they are nor their race or skill, be ready for anything."

The ceiling in front of them erupted downwards showering the floor below with rock and mortar. They all jumped into the hole and Shining cast a detection spell.

"Fifteen targets closing, hostile."

They all charged up offensive magic. Shining cast a shield around his squad.

***Twilight***

"Mmmm Mmm Mmm!"

"Quiet princess we can always use you as a bargaining chip."

Twilight realized they were acting dumb to through her off, and it worked. They had completely fooled her... Well that happened to her a lot, she didn't show it but her intelligence had an ego. She thought herself smarter then most ponies.

She was in a different room with a couple dozen more stallions, all unicorns, all trained in combat magic. She was in a steel cage, on the floor, still unable to do anything. She heard muffled voices of mares and stallions, but couldn't distinguish any words. She could only hope.

***Celestia***

She and her team got into the room adjacent to where Twilight was previously held, she met up with Cadence.

Sister I have met up with Shining Armor. Are you with Cadence?

Yes, we are about to move into the room where Twilight is.

"Celestia, do we go into the room?."

Celestia snapped out of her train of though. "Ye-" Celestia shook her head "Yes Lieutenant. Everyone stand back, we're going through this wall!" She was in a blowing-things-up mood today.

Celestia, Cadence, and a couple dozen unicorns all shot combustion spells at the wall. There was no spray of mortar, or melted concrete, or... well anything. The wall was vaporized... Well there was a pile of ashes but it got picked up by the wind.

Celestia looked in the room and saw... nothing... It was another abandoned office, this one had lights on though. "There gone, and so is Twilight." She hung her head down in defeat. She almost began to cry when memories of her failing to rescue Luna started surfacing.

Tia, youw ta bewstest siser evah!

Years later

Tia! Your the best sister ever!

Even later

TIA! WE ARE IGNORED BECAUSE OF YOU! YOU ARE THE WOR-

Lieutenant Silver Wing spoke up and jerked Celestia out of her thoughts. "Celestia are you okay? What do we do?"

"O-of course Lieutenant. I-I'm fine." She spoke up, "alright men you're all with me. We must find Twilight. Cadence cast routine detection spells. Watch the left, I'll watch the right."

Cadence nodded and powered up her horn and set a detection spell to cast every 30 seconds. Celestia did the same, still blinking tears away.

***Shining Armor and Luna***

"Princess Luna! Any luck finding Twilight?" He said while casting a protection bubble, he and his men were engaged in a firefight with the fifteen unicorns that were detected. Luna and her team had come from behind, and were now helping overwhelm the enemy unicorns.

When Luna arrived the kidnappers were beginning to chip at Shining's shields, and overwhelm him and his squad. Their combined numbers were now becoming overwhelming.

"No, how's your end coming up?" She deflected a beam headed strait for her Lieutenant.

"Not half bad, now that you showed up."

"Man down!"

Shining and Luna rushed over.

"Soldier talk to me!!"

"He-Ggg-ahhhhhhh"

"He's gone sir."

Luna put a spell on him, ensuring his pass would be in peace. "He's with Faust now."

Luna put up a small sound barrier around her and Shining.

"This isn't good... Lethal magic... Celestia told me it was forgotten..." Luna sounded uneasy

"It is mostly forgotten... It seems it has been remembered." Shining tried to chuckle at his joke, with a look from Luna he turned it into a cough.

"Indeed... Tell the men of the situation."

"Why me!?"

"You told a bad pun."

"Huumpphhhh.. Fine."

Luna deactivated the sound barrier.

"All soldiers be aware hostiles are using lethal magic. Be on guard."

***Celestia and Cadence***

Sister, the kidnappers are using lethal magic.

Lethal magic?? I thought it was forgotten.

Well it seems to have been remembered.

Cadence joined into the conversation. Really Luna, your stealing Shining's WORST pun?

Yeah, he just told it to me.

Celestia interrupted the conversation. Ladies! This is no laughing matter! This is a DIE-re situation! Celestia laughed at her own pun.

You too Celestia!?! The phrase was said at the same time, by both princesses.

Just focus on the mission! I was only cleaning up for Luna's awful pun! And that's the end of it! Terminate!... Terminate? Mmmm I can't terminate telepathic messages.

Or maybe she could... She refocused and put on a straight face. "The enemy is using lethal magic, everybody shields up, be alert. We're moving out!"

***Shining Armor and Luna***

Beeeeshzzzzzuuummm

A beam sailed straight towards Shining Armor. Luna jumped in front of the beam. It hit slightly in front of her left wing.

"Ahhhh!"

"Princess!" A beam sailed past his head. "Gah!" Shining shot three magic beams, each hitting a target, and threw up a barrier spell. "Luna are you hurt!? Why would you do that!"

"No, I'm fine. I did that because if I hadn't right now you would be dead... and Cadence would kill me anyway so it was a lose-lose scenario. I'm fine really." She tried to cast a simple healing spell, but collapsed crying out in pain.

"MEDIC!! We need a medic!"

A brown coated unicorn ran over with a red horseshoe cutie mark. "What's the issue Captain?"

"She was grazed with a lethal magic shot. She is hurt."

"Aaammm Nn-n-NO I- I'm fine really!" She tried to prop herself up on a hoof, but only collapsed with painful cries again.

"Let me look at it... Mmmm, Mhmm, I see, Ah! That's your problem. The shot grazed past the area where you access your magic. Your Achilles Heel, so to speak. Your magic is gone for a while. You need to leave. The pain will be gone in a few minutes."

"If I will be able to walk I will not abandon my soldiers on the battlefield. I will not leave them."

"Princess you need to leave, I can lead the troops, we will be fine. You will know the second we rescue Twilight, I promise."

"But it is dishonorable to run like a coward from a fight!"

"There is also honor in living to fight another day."

She looked at him, gave a small smile, and passed out.

"Okay boys! I'm back in charge. Sight your targets together and focus fire. One side per target. We're winning this skirmish, and we're winning it now!"

"YEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH"

Shining Armor and his team fired beam after beam after beam, taking out all the targets in under 3 minutes.

"Good," *breath* "work guys!"

***Celestia and Cadence***

Sister, how are things on that front?

Silence

Sister?

Silence

Luna?

"Cadence, can you get in touch with Luna?"

"No."

"Mmm. I don't like this... I'm flying to Shining Armor."

"Okay, be safe."

"You too."

Celestia took flight, blasting a hole in the roof, and made way to where Shining and Luna were.

"Princess Cadence! Hostiles incoming! There's 30 of them!"

"How far away?

"Four rooms! Scratch that, Three!"

"Charge your shields boys! We have guests!

BOOOOOM. Mortar sprayed from what used to be a wall, creating a dust cloud.

"We can't see anything!

Cadence cast a flame spell at the cloud of dust. Fwooommfff. The space in front of the line of 20 guards ignited.

About 30 stallions all powered up their horns and fired simultaneously and constantly at the shield in front of the guards.

"Shields holding! But we can't last long! What do we do princess?!"

"Shoot back!"

The sound of magic beams filled the room.

"Shields failing!"

"AAAHHHH!"

"What's happening!" Cadence was casting advanced spells left, right, and center. She couldn't keep up the massive number of spells much longer.

"One wounded, two dead. They have 7 down"

"Gaaah!"

"Three dead! What do we do princess? They're overwhelming us!"

Cadence gasped for air for a second. "Focus all magic onto the shields! On my mark fall back!"

All sixteen remaining guards and Cadence poured every ounce they could into the shields. Soon the shields were pulsating with energy and were inches thick.

"Fall back! We set up at a more defensive position!"

Some of the unicorns with magic left laid some explosive runes to slow them down.

The remaining soldiers fell back into a room that seemed to be an old office. After securing all the doors, the guards made a makeshift
barrier out of filing cabinets and desks. Now they just waited for the kidnappers to make their next move.

-+Officer Crimson Rose+-

"We drove the guardsmen back, finish off the shield and destroy any runes. They won't risk a counter attack. Also the Sun Princess won't know we defeated them, lay traps for her. Sargent Drill Fire, you are in charge until I return, I'm to inform the Command of our victory."

Rose ran through the remains of the building and arrived to the room above where they were keeping the princess. He cast a gravitational-slow spell and jumped down the hole, slowly falling to the floor below.

He landed with a click on the concrete floors. He deactivated his gravity spell and walked though a couple rooms and arrived in the main chamber.

"Ah! Crimson! You return with good news I presume?"

"Yes, Your Freeing One." He addressed a map and moved the piece resembling Celestia and Cadence's squads back two rooms. "We drove them out. But, that is not the interesting part. Their commander wasn't there. I have reports of Celestia leaving the battle, for unknown reasons."

"And..."

"We expect her to return, so we laid traps where the squad used to be. If we capture another alicorn, it would mean victory for us."

"Yes, we would capture Celestia correct?"

"Yes sir. They would lose their Commander."

"Do not underestimate the power of Shining Armor, Cadence, and Luna though. I heard that Cadence and Shining Armor defeated an entire 5 changeling legions just by touching horns, and Luna can plot anything. She is the greatest tactician in the world."

"Unless we capture them too."

"Do you have a plan or are you speaking theoretically?"

"I have a plan." He went through a lengthy explanation of his plan. The Commander slowly developed a grin on his face.

"I like it. Put it into action once the Sun Princess is captured."

"Yes sir!"

***Celestia***

Celestia finished healing the magic block on Luna and took flight to return to her portion of the battle. She cast a detection spell, to see how things were going.

Something isn't right..... Celestia cast another detection spell. There are two fold more ponies in the room...

Celestia, we had to fall back. They overwhelmed us when you left.

Mmmm. I'm landing in the room where they are. I hope to get some answers.

Don't do that! What if it's trapped?

If it's trapped I'll set the traps off, and you and the rest of our squad will charge in and take them by surprise. They will not expect a counter attack.

Celestia we don't have the numbers to counter attack, even with surprise. We only have 18 guards left. They have upwards of forty.

Mmm fine then. Don't come. I'll be fine Cadence, trust me.

Celestia ended the call and cast a runic detection spell. She found 7 runes; 3 explosive runes, 2 immobilization runes, and two shocking runes.

She cast a sweep spell that set all the runes off. Once the dust cleared she landed. Instantly she was shot at but she deflected all the shots with a shield. After a second to look around she saw that the highest ranking soldier there was a sargent. She could gain no information. She turned to leave, casting a shield spell behind her. She didn't see the 5 ponies overhead that were the ones that captured Twilight.

3 of them shot tranquilizers into her flank, and the other two jumped down and immobilized her wings and hooves. She quickly sent a telepathic message. She couldn't get an offensive or defensive spell up before they put an inhibitor ring on her horn. She was quickly
rendered unconscious, with the tranquilizer fluid in her blood.

***Shining armor and Luna***

You're on your own. Celestia's message didn't make sense to Luna.

Suddenly 45 ponies streamed in through the front, sides, and back. They were surrounded.

"Princessssssss Luna, so lovely to make your... acquaintance."

Luna flared her nostrils and buffeted wings. "A pleasure as always, Crimson."

"You remember me? I'm supersized. It's been a while. Unlike one of us I was only on the moon for a few years. Ahhh what fun we had."

"Yes. Fun, would you like to return? I have a couple spare tickets around here somewhere..." Luna nudged Shining, giving him the signal to talk.

Shining Armor called upon all his military training, confidence, and discipline just to keep his voice from wavering. "Well. You have us surrounded. The best defender in Equestria and the best tactician. What happens next?"

Cadence do you know the meaning of Celestia's last message?

Yes, unfortunately.

Well what does it mean?

It means she has been captured too.

This day just gets harder and harder doesn't it.

Luna paused for a moment, working out a plan.

Cadence take you and your squad out of here. Retreat, back to the castle. Shining will be joining you.

Luna opened her eyes. "Harvay."

Cirmson Rose raised a eyebrow. "State your terms."

Shining was obviously confused and would have asked what 'Harvey' is, but he kept to himself.

"You let everypony else leave. Take me."

"I'm fine with tha-"

"But, I get to ask your commander 3 questions."

He thought for a moment... "I accept your terms."

"Shining, take everyone and leave. Now. No discussion. Just go back to the castle. I'll be fine."

Everyone heard the princesses orders, and they left.

"Your questions?"

"Are to be asked to your command."

"Fine. Boys."

4 ponies ran up and placed a restraint on Luna's wings and on her hooves. She could walk, but that was it.

"Also the ring is to wait until after I question you. I want to take notes." She manifested a pen and note pad. "If you think that I will make a move you may incapacitate me." She gave him a one shot button. "Pressing that will render me unconscious for about a minute. But you can only use it once."

"Okay, shall we?"

"We shall."

And on that note, they left.