The Bestest Thing in the World

by Minds Eye

Rating: teen
Tags: Princess Celestia, Princess Luna, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy
Length: 2240

Celestia and Luna remember the old days over a bottle of brandy.

Princess Luna has raised the moon countless times in her life, but tonight was the first time she received a gift and an invitation to Celestia's chambers after doing so. While she accepts, she can't understand why the offer was made. There was nothing special about the day.

But she's wrong. Today was the day the newest letter from Ponyville arrived.

Cover art: My Sis by averagedraw.

Published 2015-07-21 20:30:01 UTC
Last updated 2015-07-21 20:30:01 UTC

Reminiscence

Princess Luna’s hoof lingered in the air, inches away from her sister’s door.

Do it already.

Luna sighed and set her hoof down, taking one more look at the bottle she had carried this far. An apple brandy—one of the best, according to Shining Armor—delivered to her by the Captain after she had finished raising the moon, but the message for Luna to deliver it to Celestia’s chambers had perplexed them both.

Shining Armor’s confusion led her to believe that Celestia did not make a habit of turning ponies into couriers, but no matter how much Luna had wracked her brain, she had failed to rationalize this scenario. While she had not memorized the contemporary calendar, the date was no holiday she knew of, nor did it make sense for another festival to be held so soon after Nightmare Night. And while their extensive lifespans made sure both sisters had made plenty of memories on every day of the year, Luna could remember none that needed to be marked with such a quality spirit.

She did, however, stand at the door of the pony who held the elusive answer. Luna raised her hoof once more and knocked three times.

The knob turned in the midst of a sunlight hue, and the door swung open. “Luna, welcome! Come in, come in.” Celestia stood on the far side of the room, rifling through a cabinet. “Did you bring the brandy?”

“I did, yes.” Luna stepped through the door. A soft pop drew her attention to the fireplace, and the crackling flame over a small stack of logs. “Are you well this evening, Sister?”

“Oh, Luna, please drop the formality.” Celestia beamed a radiant smile as she walked across the room, two glasses levitating behind her. “I’ve waited long enough for this moment as it is. Please, sit with me.”

Luna frowned, but followed her sister to the plush, violet rug next to the fireplace. She sat at Celestia’s side, both of them facing the flames and reclining against a cloud-soft pillow cased in golden silk. “What is all this about, Sister?”

Celestia giggled and took the brandy out of Luna’s grasp, opening it herself. “I’ll show you in a moment, but first, we drink.” She filled the glasses halfway and raised one of them. “To you, Luna.”

Luna raised an eyebrow, but also the other glass. “To you, Celestia.” Scents of grass, spice, and fruit wafted through her nose, and the tartness of green apple passed over her tongue as she slowly drained her toast. “Impressive. Better than the old brews we had back in the Everfree, I believe.’

Celestia licked her lips. “It certainly is one of the best. Now then, I have something for you.” She produced a scroll with a sly twinkle in her eye. “Give this a read. I’m sure you’ll find it as entertaining as I did.”

“Then let’s see it.” Luna took the scroll and unfurled it in the air. “Dear Princess Celestia—oh, one of Twilight Sparkle’s friendship reports?”

“The first since your appearance in Ponyville, in fact, but also the first not from Twilight Sparkle.” Celestia fought to keep a grin under control. “Read on, Sister!”

“Dear Princess Celestia, having a sister is just about the bestest thing in...” Luna furrowed her brow. “Bestest?”

“Young Spike is quite the dedicated scribe, as you’ll see. Now read!”

Luna cleared her throat. “...just about the bestest thing in the world. But it sure isn’t the easiest.” She stopped to let out a small chuckle. “I should think not!”

“Read! Read!”

“I’m reading!” Luna said, flicking Celestia with a wing, and she resumed. “...But mostly, it’s about having fun together. Even if it means getting your hooves a little bit dirty, a lot dirty, a little bit dirty, a LOT dirty, a little bit dirty, a lot—a medium amount of dirty, not too little, not too much, just right. Your faithful subjects, Sweetie Belle and Rarity.” She set the scroll down, fighting back her giggles.

“Well?” Celestia nestled her head on Luna’s shoulder, eyes dancing over the letter. “What do you think?”

“I think I need another drink.” Luna held up her glass, chuckling as Celestia filled it. “To you, Celestia!”

Celestia grinned and filled her own. “To you, Luna!”

They drank, and Luna let herself sink deeper into the pillow. “Good drink, and sisterly bickering. I must say, it’s always a pleasure to find something that has never changed over my absence.”

“Indeed.” Celestia mimicked Luna’s posture, leaning her head back to smile at the ceiling. “I confess to a few moments of weakness over the years, laughing at the attention to detail Twilight has instilled in Spike, but who am I to complain if it results in the two of us sharing in the age-old issue of the proper level of dirt?”

Luna smirked. “I suppose it isn’t truly an issue so long as both sisters end up the equal amount of dirty.”

Celestia gave a coy smile. “Whatever do you mean, little sister?”

“If, for example, two sisters were taking a stroll through a forest, and one were to slip and land in a mud puddle—”

“I would sincerely hope the other would not laugh at her good sister’s misfortune.”

“Ah, but what if the fallen sister were the elder? The one that was always prim and proper and the picture of regality that—”

“Then perhaps the younger should have held her tongue.” Celestia took another drink to hide her smile behind her glass.

“An interesting turn of phrase!” Luna paused for another mouthful as well. “Now, hypothetically, what if the elder reacted to her sister’s mirth by informing her of the existence of a spell that would transform mud on a pony’s coat to the most beautiful crystal imaginable?”

“To say such is one thing, but if the younger sister were to dive into the puddle immediately after hearing it, rolling ‘round and ‘round until only her eyes and the white teeth of her smile were visible, well, she did that of her own volition.”

“But is a trick not a trick, dear Celestia? To find out that her elder, the one she was supposed to look to for inspiration and example, was capable of lying...”

Celestia rubbed the sun on her flank, barking in laughter. “I could feel the imprint of your teeth for a week after that, Luna!”

“Thy just desserts, Tia!”

“Mother disagreed.”

“Mother punished us both after you teleported us into the middle of the courtyard!”

“Which wouldn’t have happened had you simply let go and not thrown off my concentration!”

Luna fell over, draped over the pillow in laughter. “A-and there she made us stay! Embracing each other for all to see while the servants cleaned us off, and for an hour after that!” She filled both glasses again. “Do you remember what you said?” She fought down her giggles. “The only thing either of us said?”

Celestia drained her glass, and her face contorted in a snarling mask, voice dropping to growl in put-on anger. “I hate you so much!” She collapsed under her sister in a fit of giggles and reached up to bop Luna’s nose. “Why don’t you try stooping over to hug somepony smaller than you for an hour on end? Let’s see how your back feels.”

“I believe I shall decline.” Luna ran a hoof down Celestia’s coat. “Don’t be angry at me for being fortunate enough to have a more approachable form.”

“Approachable? Is that where we’re going?” Celestia snorted. “I seem to recall a larger number of stallions arriving at Mother’s court each spring to ask after me instead of you.”

“And perhaps if you hadn’t strung so many along before rejecting them, you might not have encouraged so many others to try.” Luna stuck out her tongue. “Tease.”

“Those days were not spent idly.” Celestia chuckled. “Luna, you don’t know how much I learned by watching stallions vie for my hoof in marriage. A pony’s goal may be different, but a negotiation tactic is a negotiation tactic. It’s refreshingly convenient being able to spot the difference between the selfless and the selfish when livelihoods are at stake.” She poured the brandy again. “So convenient, in fact, that I’ve always wondered how many stallions came for me, and how many might have come by Mother’s invitation.”

Luna took another sip. “Now that you mention it, I remember her leading me through the orchards and gardens several times. She would quiz me about every flower we saw along the way to make sure I had memorized them.”

Celestia’s ears perked up. “She did that with you too? I had no idea.”

“I wasn’t even of age yet, but I still remember her lesson. ‘Beware the stallion that offers you one of these flowers...’”

“‘He is a thief, for he can only take what is yours and claim it as his own,’” Celestia finished. “Many stallions offered me one of our own flowers.”

“One less than you think.” Luna drained her glass and smirked. “Do you remember Headwind, that dashing pegasus from Maretronia?”

“I do.” A wistful smile spread over Celestia’s face. “He was so young that year he called on me, and yet so strong and fearless when he returned from our first war with the yak tribes. I always admired him over the years, even after he presented me one of our roses.” Her smile faded. “I suppose Mother was wrong. He grew into such a fine Commander, never acting dishonorably or—”

“I gave him that rose from our garden. He jumped all over it once I told him it was from your favorite bush.” Luna fought to keep her giggles under control, but the look of shock Celestia gave her was too much. “If it makes you feel better, I overheard him call me a terribly torturous and taciturn tart the night before.”

A morose expression crossed Celestia’s face. “And he enjoyed wordplay.” She shook her head. “I barely gave him the time of day after that, Luna.” A smirk stretched her lips. “Well, as long as we’re getting things off our chests, do you recall an earth pony named Underhoof?”

“Underhoof?” Luna nodded. “Yes, I do remember him. He accompanied one of your suitors, didn’t he?” Luna closed her eyes and smiled. “Piercing blue eyes, gorgeous chestnut coat with rippling muscles underneath, and while his gangly little master was off with you, he and I would walk under the...” Her eyes snapped open. “You didn’t.”

“Oh, but I did, when I passed him in the hall one evening.” Celestia sat up and smiled at Luna with half-lidded eyes that smoldered with desire. “One look.” Her spectral tail brushed Luna’s chin. “And one tail swish. He couldn’t have turned around faster if I had dragged him along with a spell.”

“That was all it took?” Luna blinked. “Well... I suppose if he thought so little of me—”

“Yes, you wouldn’t have liked him anyway.” Celestia swirled her glass, shooting Luna a sly smile. “His lips tasted like ale.”

Luna narrowed her eyes. “I never went that far with any of your suitors.”

Celestia patted her hoof. “It’s all in the past, Luna. Come, another drink!”

“Yes, it is all in the past.” Luna smirked. “And that’s why I shall delve into the ancient magics to exact my revenge.”

Celestia laughed. “What in the world are you talking about? There are no ancient magics you know that I—” She choked on her next word. “No. You wouldn’t.”

Luna sneered and took a breath.

“No!” She grabbed Luna’s hooves. “I’m sorry! I was young and—”

“Moooth-EEEEER!” Luna screeched, “Tee-ya stole my boy-friend!”

Celestia clutched her ears, howling in laughter. “Fifteen! Fifteen centuries—at least!—since I heard that voice! I could have easily lasted fifteen more!”

Luna flung herself towards her, wrapping her forelegs around Celestia’s shoulders and pressing her mouth as close as she could to one of her ears. “But TEE-YA! You one-upped me!”

Celestia thrashed about, trying to dislodge her sister’s grip. “Stop! No more!”

Luna took hold of Celestia’s hooves, falling in front of her and pulling them away from her ears. “Tee-ya! Youuu—”

Celestia fell down, smothering Luna with her body. “Away with you, banshee! Return my beloved sister to me!”

Luna squirmed and poked her head out. “Pour me a drink, then! That killed my throat.”

“Serves you right!” Celestia poured anyway, and the stream died halfway through. She shook the bottle for a few more drops. “Oh, that isn’t fair! Have we really drank that much?”

Luna snorted and levitated her glass over Celestia’s, pouring in half the amount, and a few drops onto the rug. “We obviously have, and I don’t regret a single drop! A fine bottle, this was.”

“Indeed.” Celestia pushed herself up, then let herself gently down by Luna’s head. “The last glass, so what shall we drink to this time?”

“Is that really a concern?” Luna scooted over to recline against Celestia’s barrel. “To you, Celestia!”

“No, we’ve drank to each other twice already. We can’t do it a third time from the same bottle. It’s bad luck.”

“Since when?”

Celestia swatted her mane with a wing. “Since now. Think of something else.”

Luna looked to the letter lying on the floor. “Then here’s to sisters.” Her glass hovered in the air. “Here’s to us.”

Celestia’s clinked against it. “To us!”