Assuming The Position

Mark played with the sun-shaped pendant he wore on his neck. Pointedly ignoring the white collar it was attached to and the fact that Princess Celestia had her initials on the back.

Of course, it couldn't have just been 'PC' for Princess Celestia. Lord knows how hard of a time he would have had trying to explain that off. But she just had to take it a step further and leave her brand on the back of his collared neck. He had 'HS' for a mark, the fucking letters standing for her stallion. The only reason Mark even knew what it stood for was because the great vain mare herself wouldn't stop calling him that to his face.

Her human stallion.

Her mounted stallion.

Didn't he, at the very least, deserve HH: Her human? He and his ass knew exactly why he earned the mounted title but still and so, Mark was in the middle of a very unsuccessful campaign of getting it changed.

But today, oh yes it would be today, he would succeed.

Morning came slowly like butter melting in a low heated pan. The temptation of staying in bed under its yellowy rays and calling up a plate of pancakes was safely ignored as Mark got himself ready for his plan. In and out of his guest quarters and then into the southern hall, he yawned his way to his destination. A tiny false wall sitting behind a wall scroll of fluttery long-winded poetry that ended in a orgy.

Mark walked along the secret passage, tolerating the light drizzle of hot dew dripping from the stalactites hanging overhead. Though it was a bit of a hike for him, wandering down the winding stone staircase without breaking his neck, he imagined for Celestia's former lovers must have loved it.

They always left something of a message on the walls, words that stood the test of time.

The human kept his eyes from them after he was brought here the first time. He didn't need more reminding that he was only a temporary fling. In the dim light from the holes that dotted the ceiling, steam swirled around Mark as he unlatched the pair of obsidian doors and entered.

Here was where the heart of Canterlot sat, the sole reason why the city had been built on a lonely mountain only good for mining before its discovery. In Princess Celestia's own words, “When I refused to move my godly plot from that endless spring, my ponies merely threw up their hooves and built a castle around me.” The secret treasure of Mt. Canter, the Divine Baths.

Mark slid off his shoes, switching to a set of waiting straw flip flops while he dropped his bag of persuasion devices. The Divine Baths had been heavily altered over the years, hoof-made additions expanding the little nook the victorious and grieving Princess Celestia clawed her way into days after she banished her sister to the moon.

Her not-so-secret getaway was going with a sea-side cove theme this century. Celestia importing nautical style furniture seen through her palm leaf love seats and throw rugs that ranged between either being sea-shells or starfish or sea foam clouds. Royal blue tiles separated the divide between the spa and hot springs.

First there was the eight naturally-made pools, ranging from various sizes, bubbling with steaming mineral water. They remained untouched by Celestia's ever-changing fancies, left as they always were as she made improvements on the rest of the cave when the technology became available. Right next to them, a dozen showers nozzles sat on holsters and stands. Then the ten artificial tubs made with wooden plankes and boards that were built into the ground.

Mark tugged his low hanging ponytail free, the princess bugging him to grow it out longer so she had something to play with. And by play, she really meant something to bite on. Then the human pulled out of his bag, Celestia's favorite mix of bath salts and herbal blend and went to work setting up one of the tubs.

The sweet aroma of the mix, solar salt, dried lavender leaves, vanilla beans and the extract of cucumber and melon oil, flooded the air as the steam furnace and generator started kicking up in high gear. Hot water flowed into the tub, the tell-tale sounds of the pipes rattling an alarm to anyone next to a faucet on the first floor that the Divine Baths were in use.

The human quickly took off his clothes and washed himself using a stool and shower nozzle. Then he dried himself, wasting not a moment to stand in front of the other entrance with his best shit-stirring grin. The other set of doors slammed opened, the clap of the metal on stone thundering all throughout the cave.

Princess Celestia stood on the other side, wings frazzled, eyes twitching as she sniffled at the air.

“You do know that I have a meeting with my sister, my niece and the entire board of the Crystal Empire State Reform committee in less than thirty minutes?” She said distractedly, already looking over his head to stare at the tub still filling with her favorite blend. “This,” The white alicorn made a circular gesture with her right hoof. “could happen at a better time, couldn't it?”

“Couldn't it?” Mark parroted, taking the time to squeeze the remain drops of water from his hair. Princess Celestia audibly gulped, the sudden noise sending a shiver down Mark's spine. Her magenta eyes followed every pearl of liquid as it trickled down his pale collar bone and into the fabric of his fresh shirt. “Maybe you haven't gotten the same letters your student Twilight has been sending me since you made up that awful cover story about why I haven't gone home yet.”

“I couldn't exactly tell Twilight the truth of your injuries.” Princess Celestia muttered, her wings clamping close to her side. “She is too inexperienced in that... regard.” The alicorn slipped into a purr at the end, her horn glowing yellow as she cantered right pass Mark and magically shut the doors behind her.

“But you had to tell everyone else that too? The explanation for the collar. Our disappearances together. The bruises from our activities.” Mark said with a sneer, following the mare as she sat down at a washing station and charmed her majestic mane into a long, curly braid. “There's nothing wrong with admitting that we have an active sex life.”

“Sex is such a modern word.” The alicorn switched to her tail, making a similar braid out of the multicolored strands. “It can not cover a fraction of all the things I've been doing perhaps longer than a millennia. There were dalliances, encouragements, arrangements, agreements, visits and variations of many words that weren't so finite in their meaning as saying the word sex ought to do.”

Celestia turned to him, her eyes amused. “And there is no easy way to beat the myth that I am a virgin princess, beyond the touch of any mortal. Even my many former partners called our time together more of an experience than any sort of relationship. I'm sorry that my little parade of white lies have offended you, my stallion but it is better this way.”

“But the collar...”

The alicorn stiffened. “Has that unfortunate bite mark of mine healed?”

“No, but that's not what I wanted to talk about.”

“Then we have nothing to talk about. You may,” The princess' voice dropped before she sighed, standing up from her seat. “terminate our mutual arrangement if you do not like the way I handle my private relationships.”

“It's not cute how you keep on trying to end our discussions like this.” Mark rolled his eyes, watching the mare levitate a shower nozzle to cleanse herself for the baths.

“Wait.”

“What? I can only imagine that you led me here for this conversation and you are right, I don't like having them-” Mark ended the conversation with a suggestive hand rubbing down Celestia's side. “We only have less than thirty minutes.” She chided, returning his gesture with a light smack from her tail. “I'm not interested in going to that meeting hot and bothered because I couldn't work my stallion the way I wanted to.”

“No. This is all about you, Celestia.” Mark patted her side and nudged her to follow him over to the artificial tub he left going. It was the widest of the tubs, complete with stairs to ease the way down and the water he had left on had only filled it half-way.

“Let me wash you.”

The princess merely gave him a disbelieving look, her regal eyebrows sparing a well-placed arch of 'are you serious' and 'really, we could have done this at any time.' What? Hadn't she ever have a lover who wanted to explore her body? Mark grinned and went to work, grabbing a nearby nozzle before giving the alicorn a quick rinse from her hooves to her hips. Then he gently led her down to the water and encouraged her to sit in it to soak while he got his bag of supplies.

“I could be eating breakfast right now.” Celestia pipped up, her tail lazily making waves in the treated water. “I could even be persuaded to eat something a little salty and milked straight from the source.”

Mark tripped over his feet, the bag in his hands clattering on the ground and spilled out the brushes and bottles of soaps he acquired over the last week. “Really?” He said in a high voice before coughing to regain his manliness. “Thank for the offer but I want to pamper... my mare.”

Celestia's wings jutted open, sending splashes everywhere. "Then do so." She said with a titter, forcing her wings down like his sappy words didn't affect her. Mark slid into the water, tugging his bag along the side for easy access. Then he dipped a soft brush into the water, wetting it before he began to clean Celestia's coat. With light firm strokes, he worked his way from her shoulders to the middle of her back, noting how the alicorn began to relax under his deliberate ministrations. Then he moved to her flanks, avoiding her cutie mark and where her rump began.

“Does this please you, your royal highness?” Mark asked, switching to his other arm as Celestia moved to sitting on her hindquarters and lifted a hoof for him to scrub. He went to work, lovingly brushing up and down the leg before switching to the next one.

“Why yes, it does my gentle-stallion.” Celestia praised, a content sigh coming from her lips. Once he was finished, the alicorn leaned forward on her front hooves. Her round hips waiting for his touch. Mark gave a little flick with his fingers on the right cheek, trembles breaking out as she arched, spreading her legs. The human ignored the invitation he had been given, continuing his work of cleaning her back hooves.

Mark then pulled out the bottle of liquid soap, lathering his hands and then washing the alicorn. A low moan escaped Celestia as he kneaded her coat, continuing what he did before. First her shoulders then to the middle of her back. She writhed under his slick fingers as he went for her underbelly, rubbing the soft flesh. And then he went for her inner thighs, using his knuckles to tenderly stroke the curves and the joints with special care. If he hadn't been using soap, he might have been tempted to use his mouth as well.

After soaping Celestia thoroughly, he used a bucket to rinse her down. Celestia practically preened under the attention, her grunts and moans of approval turning into a chorus of need and want. Mark took out a comb specially made for feather care and worked on her wings, Celestia's cries of dulled pleasure turning hotter and lust-filled the longer he went over her feathers.

“This, oh sweet spirits, doesn't feel like washing.” The alicorn said, her voice husky as her left wing quivered in his hand. Mark hummed, his thumb caressing a fluffy under feather that had Celestia shuddering as his finger pressed and prodded it. "Mmhhh... What was I supposed to be doing again? Something with Luna and Cadance... I can't even think straight anymore, my stallion. Oh, yes..."

“Does it feel like seduction?” He said with a leer, catching the feather between his fingers and giving a slight tug. Celestia exploded, whipping her wing free from him as she darted into the deeper waters. “I'll take that as a yes.”

The white alicorn glared at him, her little flushed head the only part of her body she was willing to show him. It didn't matter what she did now, Mark knew he had her. To complete his coup de grace, he swam after her. She kept her eyes on him, watching as he inched ever so close to her horn, one of the few things she couldn't convince him to touch in bed. He wrapped his hands around it, leaning his head closer before he parted his lips and sunk his mouth on the pointy appendage.

Celestia didn't even hesitate. The moment his lips was on her horn, she teleported them to the tile floor. The human yanked his mouth free, using his hands to pull himself off before it impaled him through his throat. Celestia was lost in her little world, knocking him onto the ground to have her naughty way with him. Her neat teeth tore his shirt in half while she magicked off his pants and boxers, her hips quaking as she moved her eyes to his groin.

Still soaking wet, Mark hooked his foot around her back left hoof and pulled himself under her legs where she couldn't easily grab him. “I'm not done washing you yet.” Using his nails, he went for her cutie marks, grinding into the sensitive skin on both sides of her hips. Celestia buckled, sinking on top of him as she cried out.

“What do you want, stallion!”

“The collar.” Mark shouted under her. “I want you to change the initials on the collar. I'm a human, not a stallion.”

“All my lovers-” Celestia started to say but Mark tilted his head, blowing warm, sultry wisps of air to the one place he knew couldn't stand any more teasing. The alicorn gasped, uselessly moving her hips to relieve the pressure that had to be building up. “I have a meeting! You're not playing fair.”

“You don't play fair! Stop bringing up your exes. I don't want to be her stallion, I want to be your human, your sex partner.” He growled out, moving his mouth to make love bites on her underside. “Can't we at least be on the same level in that regard?”

The alicorn went silent, lifting herself up from him to look down into his eyes. “Yes!”

Then with little huzzah, she plopped right on top of him. Her hips landing on either side of Mark's head.

Success.

Luna arrived to the inner sanctity of the Divine Baths, gliding down the staircase as she hurried to tell her sister that the meeting was regretfully canceled. Though she hardly understood her elder sister's whims about her hidey-holes she had hidden all around the castle, it was quite fun to come across them and pretend not to know.

Celestia was like a child sometimes. Losing none of her simple qualities while dressing it up in royal protocol. Luna knew exactly why her sister had so many, the poor mare just needed to escape from the eyes of her adoring public from time to time.

So when Luna found her sister with her gravitating buttocks wrapped around the head of the dimension-traveling guest, moaning out disgusting and vulgar old-dated expletives with gusto, she only thought of one thing.

“How dare you corrupt my virgin sister! You will not have her innocence, human.”

And so, Luna went to war.