A Just Cause

by Tisbutascratch

Rating: teen
Tags: Random, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Alternate Universe, Human, Main 6, Original Character, Comedy, Other, Adventure, Crossover
Length: 20078

Rico Rodriguez, the Agency's best finds himself in Equestria. Chaos ensues

After a close shave, Rico Rodriguez the Agency's finest hell raising and country destabilizing agent finds himself in the magical land of Equestria. was it purely coincidental? or are there darker forces at play?

My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic belongs to Hasbro and Just Cause belongs to Eidos Interactive

Published 2012-05-24 18:14:01 UTC
Last updated 2012-09-05 21:42:27 UTC

Viva la revolution

Viva la revolution

Today was a good day for Rico “Scorpion” Rodriguez, the Agency’s finest agent. As today he had demolished two military bases, killed four colonels and talked to a snowman and now after destroying all the Panauan government property in Bandar Selekeh village Rico decided it was now the time for a get away.

Rico was making his escape towards Panau International Airport inside a hot pink Tuk Tuk Rickshaw while being pursued by 4 military motorcycles… actually make that three one just crashed into a tree and blew up.

“We’re dropping like flies send more units.” a soldier announced over the radio. Two military jeeps flew down a side road and on to Rico’s tail. One of which slammed into one of the motorcycles blowing it up and painting the front of the jeep red. The surviving pursuers continued after Rico. As they got closer to the airport, Rico spotted a gas station on the right hand side of the road. Rico suddenly veered towards the gas station, the Panauan motorcycle troops following him. One of motorcycle troops pulled up alongside Rico.

“Time to die!” the soldier shouted as he went to pull out his sawed-off shotgun, however Rico was faster.

He pulled out his pistol and fired at the soldier. The bullet blew apart the soldier’s head like a firework made of brains.
The now rider less motorcycle careened into one of the jeeps and caused it to flip up into the air throwing one of the occupants from the jeep then landed on top of the other jeep destroying them both.

“Here comes the cavalry!” the surviving motorcycle soldier announced as eight more jeeps came towards Rico. One of the jeeps swerved into oncoming traffic and was slammed into by a Vanderbildt Leisureliner double decker coach., obliterating the jeep.

The soldier that had been thrown free of the last jeep stood up only to get ploughed into by one of the reinforcement jeeps sending him cart wheeling into the air and then landing on the tarmac with a sickly splat.

Just as Rico was about to go flying into the gas station he slammed on the breaks, the surviving motorcyclist flew past Rico and went straight into one of the petrol pumps.

The ground shook as the station was engulfed in a fireball so vast it collapsed the ceiling of the gas station down on top of motorcyclist. Rico’s plan had worked perfectly however his rickshaw had seen better days as now it looked more like a sieve than the slowest vehicle ever constructed, seriously continental drift is faster than those rickshaws. Fire began to billow out of the engine of the pink rickshaw. Rico dove from the doomed Tuk Tuk just as it blew up. Some of the shrapnel clipped Rico, slashing his right leg but it wouldn’t stop him

“He’s a boner! Keep firing-lah!” a soldier shouted, Rico drew his SMG, as well his Pistol and fired them akimbo at the oncoming infantry. The soldiers started to get cut down by the combined firepower of the pistol and SMG.

CLICK

“Son of a Miha!” Rico shouted as he holstered both his guns and ran towards the statue of Pandak “Baby” Panay. As he was running, he drew his assault rifle from across his back and started to return fire towards the soldiers killing a few in the process but it don’t deter the soldiers any less, bullets started throwing up dirt over Rico as they impacted near his feet. Just before he completely emptied his assault rifle, he aimed his grappling hook with his left hand and fired it at the statue, which sent him hurtling towards the statue at break neck speed.

When he got to the statue he tossed a couple of C4s on it’s base. On a nearby podium Rico saw a metallic silver Titus ZJ sports car just waiting to be “Freed of the chains of Pandak “Baby” Panay’s tyrannical dictatorship.”

Rico leaped towards the Titus and threw open the door and jumped inside. If Rico wasn’t busy hot wiring the car he might have noticed the cars fuel tank fill it’s self up.

“That should do it… strange why would a show car’s tank be full?” Rico mused, “As I always say never look a gift horse in the mouth especially if it prevents becoming a pencil.”

Rico floored the accelerator inside his recently “liberated” Titus ZJ towards the makeshift jump outside Panau International Airport. When got a safe distance away from the statue he detonated the C4 causing the statue to collapse and crush one of the many pursuing jeeps.

“Ouch, that's gotta hurt the big man's ego.” Rico commented as he watched the surviving jeeps swerving around the debris of the statue and their crushed comrade. The Titus was rapidly moving towards the road sign turned jump outside Panau International Airport. The sports car went flying up the ramp. After flying up the ramp the Titus went soaring through the air coming to an abrupt stop when it landed. When the sports car landed it skidded on the tarmac, causing it to roll twice before coming to stop on its wheels.

Rico glanced at the out the side window and saw at least 6 military jeeps pursuing him over the jump. Two of which collided midair and exploded beautifully, scattering barbecued body parts and charred hunks of metal across the asphalt.

“Requesting air support! Repeat: send air support Immediately!.” a soldier shouted down the radio.

"Panauan Air Force chopper on its way. ETA: thirty seconds." The air traffic controller replied.

“Ah.. now things get interesting.” Rico thought as he sped across the airport towards the runway with the four surviving jeeps still in pursuit.

Just above the tree tops Rico spotted the unmistakeable shapes of two UH-10 Chippewa helicopters flying towards him.

While he began to accelerate Rico jumped on the roof of the Titus. The dual miniguns on the lead UH-10 cut the tarmac and the car to shreds, nevertheless Rico survived as he had already grappled to the very same helicopter. As he hung from the bottom of the helicopter he reloaded his SMG then he leaped onto the front of the UH-10 and shot and killed the co-pilot causing his corpse to fall from the chopper and splatter on the asphalt below. Now it was the pilots turn.

The pilot threw a hasty right hook at Rico, that he easily blocked and countered with an uppercut with his left hand. The pilot threw another punch. Only for Rico to dodged it as if the pilot hadn’t even been aiming at him. Rico then delivered a kick to the pilot’s abdomen.

“Can I borrow this?” Rico asked the pilot rhetorically then Rico grabbed the pilot and threw him from the Chippewa. The pilot screamed all the way down only to abruptly end at the bottom.

Rico took control of the of the UH-10 and fired the dual miniguns into the other chopper. It didn’t stand a chance. The co-pilot of the other Chippewa attempted to fend off Rico with his pistol but it was about as effective as trying to fight a tank with a stick. The co-pilot was reduced to a fine red mist by the miniguns at 3000 rounds per minute.

Smoke began to pour out the stricken UH-10’s engine then the tail rotor on the doomed chopper exploded and sent the Chippewa into an unrecoverable spin towards the ground. The Chippewa impacted the ground in a fiery detonation, killing many soldiers who had arrived on foot from all over the airport.

“You piece of dung!” a surviving soldier shouted as he attempted to shoot at the hijacked UH-10 only to get cut down by it’s miniguns.

“Requesting air support!” another soldier barked down the radio.

“Request for air support granted.” The air traffic controller answered.

The air support took the form of two UH-10 Chippewa helicopters and one AH-33 Topachula helicopter. More jeeps and infantry also began to close in on Rico.

Rico sprayed the Chippewa’s miniguns into the advancing ground forces. Cutting many of the troops to ribbons.

One soldier fired a rocket at Rico’s UH-10, Rico saw the rocket but it was too late, he attempted to dodge it but the rocket blew the tail clean off the Chippewa and sent it spinning towards the tarmac. Rico leapt from the condemned helicopter and grappled on to the Topachula that had now arrived with it’s two Chippewa wingmen. Rico leaped on to the Topachula’s canopy and threw the pilot from the helicopter sending him plummeting to his doom. He quickly turned the AH-33 against it’s former allies. The first Chippewa he focused on was destroyed instantaneously by the combined rocket and machine gun fire from the AH-33. He then attempted to engage the other Chippewa, unfortunately the Chippewa was far more nimble than the lumbering Topachula.

The Chippewa fired both its rockets and miniguns at the Topachula, causing the AH-33 to burst into flames. Rico leapt from the stricken helicopter and grappled to the ground.

Rico dodged in and out amongst the remains of totalled vehicles and dead soldiers and spotted a rocket launcher. He picked it up and fired at the remaining Chippewa.

The lightly armoured utility helicopter had no chance. The Chippewa was swallowed in a great fireball. The co-pilot’s charred corpse splattered on the ground with a horrific crunch.

Rico leapt back to the shredded but drivable Titus ZJ and floored it towards the runway. With the surviving jeeps and infantry in pursuit.

Towards the end of runway one Rico spotted a Aeroliner 474 just turning on to the runway to begin its take off. “Time to go.” he thought as the distance between him and the Aeroliner 474 decreased rapidly. The Aeroliner had just finished turning on to the runway when Rico grabbed the handbrake and sent the Titus power sliding around the corner and onto the tail of the Aeroliner.

Rico stunt jumped onto the roof of the Titus and fired the grappling hook into the roof of the Titus and the Aeroliner’s fuselage, connecting them to each other.

Just as the military jeeps caught up with Rico. The infantry exited their jeeps and started firing upon Rico.

“For the glory of Panau!” a soldier shouted before opening fire on Rico.

Another shouted “You’re gonna die like an animal!” before he started to shoot.

Rico began firing bursts from his assault rifle into the Panauan soldiers, killing several and causing the other soldiers into cover behind the remains of their jeeps.

The Aeroliner pilot oblivious to the massive battle taking place outside, began to accelerate.

Rico kept up the pressure on the infantry until he realized the Aeroliner was taking off. He pulled the pin from a grenade and watched the spoon fly off then he causally tossed it into the soldiers.

One soldier who was cowering behind the remains of jeep spotted the grenade roll up beside him.
“You son of a bit…” was all got to say before the grenade ripped him and many other soldiers to pieces.

Rico leaped inside the Titus and put his foot down on the accelerator, in an attempt to keep up with the Aeroliner to stop the high tension cable breaking but the Aeroliner was faster. The Aeroliner ripped the Titus of it’s wheels as it began to reach take off speed and began to drag the Titus along on it’s side then the Titus was pulled from the ground completely as the Aeroliner began to fly away from the airport. Rico thought he had made it.

However Rico didn’t realise that two G9 Eclipses were flying out from Paya Lucas Airport on an interception route with the airliner. Just as the Aeroliner made it above the jungle directly east of Panau International Airport.

The two G9 Eclipses fell in about one kilometre behind the Aeroliner. The first G9 flew up and above the Aeroliner. The second G9 pilot switched to cannons. He then locked on to the now flying Titus ZJ. He flicked the safety off and pulled the trigger.

The first burst went wide. If Rico hadn’t noticed the G9 Eclipses before he had now.

“And I thought that all the Panauan Air Force did was fly around the island until they crashed.“ Rico remarked as he grabbed the steering wheel and started to turning it wildly in attempt to avoid the cannon fire. The first G9 fired it’s cannon. Rico’s random turning of the steering wheel had caused the car to swing like a pendulum. The burst from the first G9 missed the swinging car.

“Yes!” Rico shouted but then he looked at the Aeroliner and watch its left wing split from the rest of the Aeroliner, spraying jet fuel up the side of the plane that was in turn ignited by a sparking electrical cable. “Oh my God!”

The Aeroliner spun towards the Jungle. The cable that was holding the Aeroliner and the Titus snapped, sending the Titus cart wheeling towards the jungle canopy.

The G forces kept Rico pinned to his seat preventing him from escaping the doomed car. Rico watched as the Aeroliner slammed into a higher part of the jungle and detonated.

Time seemed to slow down as Rico watched the Titus slam into a tree through the windscreen. Rico covered his face with his right arm in an attempt to protect his face from shards of windscreen flying in his direction. His right arm was cut to ribbons by the glass, the pain was excruciating. The car rebounded off the tree and slammed roof first into the jungle floor.

Everything went Black. Rico felt nothing. No more pain. He could see nothing.

Just DARKNESS.

First Contact

When Rico awoke he found himself lying face down on the ceiling of the upside Titus. He could hardly see, everything was blurry, his head was pounding it felt like he had just been in a plane crash… oh wait he had been in a plane crash. It was pitch black outside.

“Uh… how long was I out for?” Rico moaned as he glanced down at his PDA it was 2 am. He had been out for close to 10 hours, at worst he could have a minor case of serious brain damage. “How hadn’t the Panauan troops found him?” He wondered, “Maybe they are waiting outside?”

He sat up on the roof and looked down at his hands and they were…

… still hands but his right hand had been cut to pieces by the flying glass in the crash, some of the glass was still protruding from his arm. The blood had started to congeal but in some places the thick red liquid continued to pour out his arm like faucet. He could feel something warm dripping down his forehead, he wiped it with his left hand saw the familiar red liquid on his hand. Aside from that he was fine, concussed but still alive. He stabbed his grappling hook into the car’s drivers seat and proceeded to rip a large piece of fabric from the seat, he then continued to tie the piece of fabric around his arm turning it into crude bandage.

“It’ll hold for know.” Rico sighed, “But if I don’t get it treated I could get infected or something.”

He then turned his attention to escaping the Titus wreck. He turned to face the shattered windscreen, most of it was now inside the car but around the edge it remained in place. Using his feet he proceeded to kick the glass from the bottom of the windscreen. Afterwards he crawled out of the car, an especially gruelling task with one hand. Once he was out the car Rico looked around his environment… he was in the middle of a forest. Even though it was the middle of the night the forest was alive with the sounds of animals.

“Where the hell am I?” he thought. Panau had no forests except it’s tropical rainforests that covered most of the Island, sure up on the mountains there were forests but there was also lots of snow. No snow here though… Rico grabbed his PDA and opened the map function what he saw horrified him, according to the map he was no longer in Panau it just had on the screen “location unknown please try again later.”

Most people would have started to panic but then again Rico isn’t most people. Rico felt his right foot kick something he looked down and saw his assault rifle he scoped the rifle up in his left hand then proceeded to stick it across his back. He glanced down at his sides and saw his pistol and SMG were still in place. He proceeded to search around and inside the car for anything useful.

After his search he had found 340 rounds for his assault rifle including the loaded magazine, 90 rounds and 40 30mm grenades for his signature pistol, 280 rounds for his SMG, half a dozen grenades and 8 sticks of C4 and a detonator. Rico decided against using his assault rifle and his SMG as he would burn through their ammunition very quickly. He also didn’t plan on using pistol unless it was a life or death situation.

Rico the began to explore the clearing. At the edge of the clearing he spotted a path. Rico pulled his pistol from it’s holster and held it in his left hand and proceeded to follow the path.

The night was completely still. Not a single whisper of wind. The path was bathed in moonlight, creating eerily serene scene in front of Rico. In comparison to the path, the foliage was as black as the sky above it. Rico continued to follow the path until it came to a fork in the road, if Rico hadn’t been paying attention he would have probably walked past the second path as if didn’t even exist. As he was about to step on to the path he felt a sound gust of wind it was as if there was something wrong with that particular path.

“Damn… this place has some bad mojo.” Rico cracked, “Oh well I’ll go down the other path then.” as soon as he had finished saying that an unearthly growl emitted from the overgrown path.

Rico continued to follow the clear path for about 2 kilometres fully aware that since he didn’t go down the other path he was being watched, well it must be hard to avoid being spotted with glowing, red eyes. After walking down the path for about 2 hours, Rico began to see the sun rising through the treetops. Rico looked down at his right arm and saw a small crimson patch forming.

“At this rate I’m going to bleed out with in the next few hours.” Rico groaned. After about another hour of following the path, Rico started felling light-headed but the tree line had started getting thinner, he could start to see outside the forest. He grabbed his crude bandage and pulled it tighter in an attempt to cut off the blood flow.

By the time he reached the edge of the forest he could barely stand, he was practically crawling along the floor, dragging himself with his left hand, he was passing in and out of consciousness, fighting to keep his eyelids open. His bandage was now practically soaked in his blood.

At the edge of the forest Rico spotted a cottage. Normally Rico would have mocked the cottage’s appearance as it resembled something out of a Disney cartoon but in his current state he could care less about his only chance at survival’s exterior.

“Civilization!” Rico coughed as he scrambled towards his only hope. Blood was dripping from his arm leaving a scarlet slick across the grass. He scrambled across the bridge outside the small cottage. He lurched up towards the door. He thumped his hand against the door and then collapsed to the floor outside the house. He might have been hallucinating but Rico swore he saw a yellow Pegasus with a Pink mane answer the door.

Those left behind

Wajah Ramah Panauan Government Fortress
Panau
11:20am local time
10/07/10

An short Panauan man in green suit stood in one of the many gardens that were part of his ancient Japanese styled fortress. Another man, a man of Indian descent with dark skin that reflected the amount of time he spent outside and was wearing a Panauan military colonel’s uniform was also in the inside garden waiting to bear the full force of Pandak’s rage.

“What do you mean he disappeared?!” Pandak “Baby” Panay shouted at one of surviving colonels, colonel Abdul Rahman, causing Pandak’s chameleon to scamper away and disappear into one of the bushes that decorate the interior of his personal fortress.

“Look what you made me do, Rahman explain what the fuck happened out there.” Pandak demanded.

“Well after we shot him down we deployed troops to recover the wreckage but there was no remains of the Titus, Sir.” Abdul Rahman whimpered, not wanting to be one of the participants at the next “Happy Execution Day”.

“Wait a minute, a Titus ZJ where did he get that?” President Panay enquired.

“A metallic silver Titus ZJ hardtop, he stole it from outside Panau International Airport, Sir.” Abdul replied.

“And you say there were no remains of it?, are you sure it wasn‘t vaporised” Pandak asked.

“Both G9 pilots can confirm seeing the Titus fall towards the ground, so it couldn't have been vaporised, Sir.” Colonel Rahman replied.

“It could have been Airlifted out.” Panay Retorted.

“The two G9s were ordered to engage any aircraft that flew within a kilometre radius. Until the ground forces arrived, Sir.” Colonel Rahman stated.

“Could he have slipped past our ground forces?” The dictator asked.

“Unlikely, but that wouldn’t explain the missing Titus, Sir.” the colonel responded.

“How many aircraft did the G9s engage?” Panay questioned.

“Two Peek Airhawk 225s, one from Kampung Tujuh Telaga and the other from Teluk Permata, One red Cassius 192 from the Mile High Club, One Pell Sliverbolt 6 from Teluk Permata Airport and One Muller Skeeter Hawk from Kampung Tujuh Telaga as well, Sir.” Abdul answered.

“Didn’t you try and hail them first?” Pandak asked.

“The G9s orders were shoot first, ask questions later, Sir.” Colonel Rahman replied.

“What kind of idiot issued those orders?” President Panay questioned.

“You did, Sir.” Abdul stated.

“Fair enough, this meeting is over.” Pandak stated.

“Sir” Colonel Rahman replied as he saluted then left the room closing the door behind him.

Pandak waited a few moments then gestured his ninjas to come forward out of the shadows where they had watched the entire meeting from.

“I want you all to search every inch of Panau until find this “Scorpio” if he turns up alive, I want you to pay Colonel Rahman a visit, you have your orders now go.” Pandak stated and as quick as they had appeared the ninjas were gone.

Unnamed Island
Near Pekan Kesuma
Panau
22:30pm local time
10/07/10

Two agency operatives were amongst a small Agency stockpile on the east side of the unnamed island. One of them, a fully developed woman with blonde hair and blue eyes was sitting beside a campfire poking it with a stick. The other, an older man, with greying brown hair and wearing a Hawaiian shirt was rummaging through the various hard cases laying around on the beach.

“Maria, we’ve just gotta sit tight, wait for the Agency to send reinforcements.” Tom Sheldon, Rico’s mentor and friend said as he attempted to assure Maria Kane, former US Army ranger and Rico’s ex girlfriend.

“I know but I can’t believe Rico is dead, you know?” Maria sighed

“He ain’t dead just missing, you know MIA?” Tom said, “He’s survived worse you know.”

“Who’d you think they’ll send?” Maria asked, trying to think about something else.

“Dunno some by the book greenhorn, probably.” Tom replied, “Maybe if we’re lucky they'll send someone who’s held a gun before.”

“Maybe if we’re lucky.” Maria replied sombrely.

Their discussion was cut short when a they both began to hear the unmistakable sound of a helicopter flying to the island.

It was a Black H-62 Quapaw. It hovered above the Stockpile, for a few moments before ropes came out the doors and a squad sized unit repelled from the Quapaw, before it flew away back out to sea to the waiting US carrier. The entire unit was wearing multicam fatigues, tan boots, tan load bearing equipment, Modular Tactical Vests, olive drab balaclavas and USMC standard Lightweight helmets. They were all carrying an assortment of weapons and gear as well. “We heard you could use some help.” One of the disembarked operatives shouted, “ Bravo Actual, A.S.A.D.*.” He proceeded to shake Tom Sheldon’s out stretched hand.

“Tom Sheldon, and that‘s Maria Kane, so you’re the reinforcements?” Tom Sheldon replied.

“Affirmative, this my team, Bravo 2.” Bravo Actual stated.

“All callsigns, no names?” Maria enquired.

“Negative.” Bravo Actual replied.

“So what’s your name?” Tom asked.

“Classified.” Bravo Actual replied monotonously.

“This is going to be a long night.” Maria sighed.

Ponyville

Equestria

10:23am Panauan Time

10/07/10 Earth Date

When Rico awoke his head felt like it was going to explode but that wasn’t the first thing he noticed, it was the seven sets of eyes staring at him.

He pretended not to notice them even though their hiding places were blatantly obvious like under the carpet or behind the curtains or the pink horse with the lampshade on it‘s head, “Wait what a pink horse.” Rico thought. He glanced over at the curtains again and saw a set of sea foam green hoofs. “I must have finally lost it or I did see a yellow horse before blacking out, if this is real this is now what’s on top of my “Weirdest shit I have ever seen” list way above Hantu Island.” He said subconsciously, he looked at his right arm he saw gone was the crude car seat bandage, it had been replaced by a proper bandage that was professionally done. tight, but not so that his arm would start turning blue, the glass had also been removed from his wounds, he then felt his head and there was also professionally tied bandage around his head, felt down his sides for his Signature pistol and SMG but they were gone.

He looked around the room and saw them, along side his assault rifle and grappling hook on a table, that was parallel to the sofa he was laying on.

But that wasn’t what got his attention, under the table was the yellow horse. “Speak of the devil.” He thought. On the horse's flank was three butterflies.

"Strange? Oh well time to do what I do best. Scare people." Rico thought letting out a snort of laughter, causing the yellow one to squeak.

"You do realize I can see all of you." Rico deadpanned

* A.S.A.D. :Agency.Special.Applications.Division

Author's notes

I've decided to change Rico's pistol to his Signature Pistol

And that's it for chapter 3 of "A Just Cause"

The man who talks to snowmen

Ponyville
Equestria
10:27am Panauan Time
10/07/10 Earth Date

Seconds ticked by. No one or should I say nopony said or did anything. All the ponies all stared at Rico after emerging from their obvious hiding places, well all except the pink horse who remained as a lamp. It was totally silent. Minutes ticked by but they felt like hours for Rico who was outnumbered seven to one in this standoff, normally he could go twenty to one and come out on top but he had no idea of what these small, sentient horses were capable of.

About 4 minutes past before the orange horse with blonde mane, tied in a ponytail with a Stetson hat asked, “How’re y’all speaking Equestrian.” Her accent reminded Rico of Tom, his former mentor and the reason why Rico had ended up in this strange place.

“Equestrian? I’m speaking English.” Rico replied.

“What are you exactly?” The purple unicorn asked Rico.

“I told you Twilight, he is a real, live human.” Stated the sea foam green unicorn.

“Your friend is right, I’m a human.” Rico stated.

“So where are you from then?” Enquired the purple unicorn as she floated a notepad, a quill and an inkwell from her saddlebags.

Rico gawked at the floating objects, all Rico managed to muster was, “How?”

The unicorn chuckled at the look on Rico’s face and simply stated, “Magic.”

“No seriously, How?” Rico questioned unconvinced at “magic” being the answer.

“It’s magic honestly.” she replied.

“So your like a wizard?” Rico asked still sceptical.

Twilight blushed slightly, at Rico’s accidental compliment, “No no, magic is my special talent it’s what my cutie mark represents.”

“Your what? Oh those marks on your flanks, I was going to ask about those.” Rico replied somewhat confused.

“A cutie mark was what a pony gets when they discover what their special talent is.” Twilight answered but she said it as if she had memorized it from somewhere.

“Aren’t you gonna tell us your name?” asked the orange pony.

“You haven’t told me your names, so why should I tell you my name.” Rico countered.

“Well ’cause Fluttershy took you in and fixed your head and claw.” she replied, gesturing over to the yellow Pegasus, who was hiding behind her lightish red mane, while looking over at Rico.

“It’s called an arm not a claw and thank you Fluttershy.” Rico replied.

“You’re welcome.” She replied but it was barely louder than a whisper.

“My name is Rico Rodriguez.”

Ular Boys HQ
Panau
10:27am Local Time
11/07/10 Earth Date

A Panauan man in his mid-late thirties stood in the centre of the temple that was the Ular Boys’ HQ. Suddenly a younger man wearing Ular Boys colours burst into the room and shouted at the older man, “Sri Irawan, the scorpion isn’t dead! The military don’t have his body, listen!” the Ular boy then proceeded to turn on the radio he was carrying.

“This is Radio Panau, the voice of truth! So listen to it, two days ago Panau International Airport came under attack by a lone, foreign terrorist with ties to large criminal organizations through out the world. The foreign devil disappeared after a short shootout with Panauan forces at the airport, it is believed his body was simply vaporised under the many precise shots of the elite Panauan soldiers.”

“Excellent, lah.” Irawan replied contentedly, “Have our best scouts looking for him, lah.”

“Right away, Sri.” stated the Ular.

The Ular dashed from the room to alert the scouts. Leaving Irawan alone with his thoughts.

“Hope, has been restored.” He said quietly said to himself.

Ponyville
Equestria
10:32am Panauan Time
10/07/10 Earth Date

“So where are you from?” Enquired the purple unicorn, that Rico had learned was called Twilight Sparkle, Rico was tempted to mock her name because of its relation to series of books that shall not be named, but he decided against as none of them would get it.

“Classified.” Rico said monotonously.

“Why?” Twilight asked.

“As you can probably guess from my reaction to “magic” I’m not from here, I don’t even think I’m in the same universe anymore.” Rico replied sorrowfully realizing he might never get back to Earth.

“So where were you before you woke up here then?” the curious unicorn questioned.

“Panau.” Rico disclosed.

“Interesting, well you’re currently in Ponyville.” Replied Twilight as she took notes on Rico.

“Very original.” Rico sardonically answered, “And Ponyville is a town in…”

“Equestria.” Was his answer.

“What’s the capital city? Canterlot.” Rico mocked.

“Yes, how did you know?” Twilight enquired.

“Lucky guess.” was Rico’s slightly surprised response.

“What is Panau like?” Twilight asked.

“It was a tropical island paradise.” was Rico’s response.

“Wait it was?” Twilight wondered.

“Their President, their leader was assassinated.” Rico commented.

This shocked the ponies, an assassination. Murder wasn’t unheard of in Equestria but there hadn’t been a murder in Equestria for centuries.

“Who assassinated their President.” The Rainbow Dash asked, not sure if she wanted to know the answer.

“His son.” Rico remarked.

If the thought of murder hadn’t shocked the ponies, who the murderer was certainly did.

“Why?” All the ponies asked simultaneously.

“Honestly, I have no idea why but when he took power he began systematically selling the rights of his people to foreigners and began constructing an oppressive militaristic regime...”

“That’s why you were there wasn’t it? To stop him and save Panau!” Lyra cut in, hoping that was the answer.

“Yes…more or less” Rico continued as he thought about the amount of time he spent talking to a snowman.

Reapers HQ
Panau
11:48am Local Time
11/07/10 Earth Date

A beautiful Panauan woman stood around a table inside the Reapers’ command bunker with a half a dozen of her best officers, who had been hand picked for this briefing.

“Comraids, as you all know the Scorpion was announced dead by the Panauan military.” Bolo Santosi announced, “But my sources revealed he is not dead, if we find him, he will become a glorious advantage for the Reapahs.”

“What if your sources are wrong.” Piped a grizzled Reaper captain, his face was covered in a thick grey stubble that matched the buzz cut on the top of his head he also had a large scar that dissected his left eye, which was now covered by an eye patch, his left sleeve was pinned up to hide the stump that once was his left arm, “ As you can all see comrades…they have been before.” he continued as he gestured to his disfiguring wounds.

“We’ll if they were wrong would the Ulars have scouts looking for him?” Bolo snapped.

“I guess not but the Ulars fucking stupid, they disagree with communism!” Shouted a young 2nd lieutenant, he was barely nineteen, easily the youngest in the room. Only recently joining the Reapers but his skills as a back stabbing mole were only bettered by Santosi her self.

“Yes, but Ulars are better than those capitalist pigs, the Roaches! Just the thought of capitalism makes my skin crawl.” Responded a seasoned Reaper major, Unlike the captain he bore no visible scars but his mind bore the scars of six months of attempted brainwashing and torture that he received at the hands of government agents.

“Maybe, we could try working with the Ulars? Suggested a 1st lieutenant, he wasn’t the youngest in the room but he also wasn’t the oldest but if his 28 years of life experience hadn’t taught him anything, the more the merrier, if the Ulars and the Reapers formed a coalition they could destroy Panay’s fascist regime and the capitalist dogs, the Roaches.

“Are you insane!” hollered a slightly older 1st lieutenant, “If we find the
Scorpion while working with Ulars who says they won’t turn on us and scalp us alive! They belong in the nut hut.” It was rather obvious he had been watching too much western TV.

“I agree with Santosi.” stated another Reaper captain, he had remained silent up until this point, black aviator sunglasses covered his eyes, his face was not betraying any sense of emotion. He had been with Santosi the longest, out of all of the other officers in the room, as Santosi often stabbed them in the back after they had outlived their usefulness.

But not him.

Ponyville
Equestria
10:40am Panauan Time
10/07/10 Earth Date

“What are you wearing? It’s simply hideous!” Rarity complained.

“Well unlike you I have to wear clothes all the time for rather obvious reasons and my clothes are cool.” Rico replied while he looked at his clothes and thought, “What’s wrong with my clothes? Bitch.”

It took a couple of seconds for the mares to realize what he meant but when they did, their faces turned crimson.

"Oh my..." Fluttershy squeaked.

“So what was your occupation in Panau?” Twilight asked Rico, trying to change the subject.

“Should I tell them the truth?, a fuck it I doubt they’re Panauan Secret Service, because the Panauan Secret Service is so secret I have never killed one, I think.” Rico thought, smiling slightly at thought of the seven ponies turning around and saying, “We foored you capitarist dog! We’re Panauan Secret Service! Time to DIE!”

“I’m a spy.” Rico replied casually.

“That is so cool!” Rainbow Dash declared, “Kicking all those Panauan soldier’s flanks and stuff!”

“Oh my that sounds dangerous, if that’s ok with you?” Fluttershy asked.

“Yeah, it’s pretty awesome, it’s not that dangerous…actually it probably is but I’m the best of the best.” Rico stated.

“Who are you the best of? And how did you become the best?” Twilight enquired

“I‘m the best of the Agency, the Agency is a US government agency entirely dedicated to spying.” Rico replied.

“US? I thought you said you worked for the American government?” Applejack asked.

“The US and America are the same thing it’s full title is the United States of America, so the US or America is used for short.” Rico answered, some what annoyed.

“Thanks, I think.” Applejack replied somewhat confused.

“And I became the best after the San Esperito.” Rico continued.

Empty Panauan Pier
Panau
12:28am Local Time
11/07/10 Earth Date

The Panauan sun was rising high through the sky, causing the sea to glisten as if it was crystal, the water was so clear you could see the look on the “problem’s” face as his concrete shoes dragged him towards the sea floor.

A stocky middle aged asian man with a bald head watched through his orange tinted aviator glasses as the “problem” descended below the waves.

“That’s one loose end tied up nicely, wouldn’t you say so Vinnie?” stated Razak “The Razor” Razman, as he dusted his hands off even though all he did was stand and say witty one-liners as the “problem” disappeared.

“Yeah, boss good one.” replied Vinnie Greco one of The razor’s many goons, however in the words of the boss himself Vinnie was a, “Sentient wall in an Italian suit.” Vinnie was seven feet and two inches and weighed hundred and twenty kilos, a former amateur heavy weight boxer but was forced to retire after killing three opponents with single punches.

“See Frankie, Vinnie has a sense of humour unlike you, you can dispose of our “tools”.” Frankie Romano was a tall, lankly man with short blonde hair and grey eyes, even though his punches weren’t instantly fatal like Vinnie’s his skill with a switchblade was unparalleled. He was short and lighter than Vinnie only six foot four and probably less than half Vinnie’s weight.

“Yes, boss.” Frankie sighed.

Suddenly Tony De Luca thundered down the pier towards the three gangsters and their two white Chevalier Classics.

“Boss…Isn’t…body…” Is all Tony managed to get out between his heavy panting.

“Here drink this.” Frankie said as he tossed Tony a hipflask full of whisky.

“I thought you didn’t drink, Frankie?” Tony enquired after gulping down the entire hipflask.

“I don’t, it was the “problems”.” Frankie replied with a grin growing across his face, while Tony got paler and paler.

“That’s sick.” Tony replied horrified.

“And here we are, I thought you didn’t have a sense of humour Frankie.” Razak replied smiling, “right, what were you saying, Tony.”

“The Scorpion isn’t dead, I checked it out with colonel Usop Yeop, the Panauan Government don’t have shit on the Scorpion.”

“How did you get close to the colonel?” Razak equired.

“Well seeing as I am a Panauan Air Force official, it was a easy as taking a chopper flying to him, getting him drunk, and waiting till he spills the beans then running away.” Tony answered.

“You weaselling son of a bitch you could have got here sooner then, because my other sources confirmed The Ulars and the Reapers are both looking for something and that must be the Scorpion.” Razak replied now pissed at Tony for the late Intel.

“Ok ok I’m sorry, I’ll see my contacts, see if they have any info.” Tony replied, trying to appease Razman.

“The Scorpion is the Antibiotics needed to cure the plague that is Panay’s corrupt regime, we need to find him first.” Razman commanded, “Mobilize every asset we have, we need to find him.”

Aeroliner 474 crash exclusion zone
Panau
13:18pm Local Time
11/07/10 Earth Date

The usually quiet Panauan hillside was alive with the frantic movements of Panauan soldiers sweeping the hill side for any signs of the Scorpion’s corpse.

Others were tearing the plane wreck apart in an attempt to find his vanished corpse. Colonel Abdul Rahman was over seeing the operation, he was getting worried though. He had heard that Panay had deployed his elite ninjas, At first he thought they were just rumours but today that changed.

“Sir, A Panauan Air Force chopper is requesting permission to land at the firebase.” A Panauan Private radioed in, “Orders, Sir?”

“Allow the chopper to land, I’ll be their shortly.” was Abdul’s response.

The “firebase” wasn’t really much of firebase, it wasn’t much of anything really, just a collections of prefab buildings and fences with a radio antenna in the middle.

Rahman walked through the firebase entrance, and saw four ninjas disembark from the black UH-10 Chippewa.

“Welcome to Firebase Delta-Zulu X9, I am Colonel Abdul Rahman And I am overseeing the operations in this area.” The colonel stated.

The four ninjas didn’t even acknowledge the colonel, they just stormed right past him.

“This can’t be good.” Rahman said to himself.

The ninjas began to sift through the crash site like a fine toothcomb. At first they didn’t find anything useful, but after about five minutes of scanning the ground like a hawk looks for it’s prey, one of the ninjas found something.

To the untrained eye it appeared to be a oddly shaped stone but the ninja knew better, he knew it was part of something larger. A statue perhaps?

Ponyville
Equestria
11:00am Panauan Time
10/07/10 Earth Date

“And that’s what happened in San Esperito.” Rico concluded. The ponies weren’t sure to be shocked or amazed. Rico killed all those people but they were evil, especially President Mendoza but Rico just blew him up, no hesitation no anything, he just did it.

“You OK?” Rico asked hoping he hadn’t scared the ponies for life with his stories but the worst part they weren’t anything compared to Tom’s Black Ops missions in Laos, Cambodia and Vietnam during the Vietnam war.

“Yeah, just a little shocked that’s all but they were bad people you killed, right?” Twilight replied still shell-shocked.

“Am alright.” Applejack assured.

“It didn’t bother me at all.” Rainbow Dash boasted, but Applejack could see through her ruse and shot Rainbow Dash a look that said “A know your lying to impress the alien.”

“I’m ok.” Fluttershy whispered.

“It could have been worse though.” Lyra replied.

“How dreadful! Humans are such brutes but I’m fine, thanks for asking, such a gentlecolt.” Was Rarity’s response.

“I’m fine, in fact I’m super! You sure taught those meanies a lesson!” Pinkie replied.

“Yeah they were.” Rico assured, “Do you want to hear about what happened in Panau?, I’ll tone it down though.”

“Yes, but first I better write a report for Princess Celestia, about your arrival.” Twilight

“Who?” Rico enquired.

“Princess Celestia, she leads Equestria, with her sister Princess Luna, they control the sun and the moon.” Twilight replied.

“You can’t tell them, they’ll lock me up.” Rico panicked.

“They won’t do that, Princess Celestia loves all living things, you‘ll be fine.” Twilight guaranteed.

“Ok but how can you be so sure she’ll ever get the letter? I can bet the Princess wouldn't read all the letters that were sent to her, especially ones talking about aliens.” Rico responded.

“ Well I’m her personal protégée.” Twilight answered, some what embarrassed. After finishing writing the scroll and placing it in her saddlebag.

“Okay… so want hear about what happened in Panau?” Rico asked, suddenly his PDA vibrated, “Weird, sorry Twilight, I’ll have to check this.”

“It’s ok I’ll wait.” Twilight assured.

Rico glance at his PDA, instead of having a error message it displayed map of Equestria and the surrounding countries like Zebrica and The Diamond Dog Badlands. He also had a message, it read:

Greetings Scorpion, you and I are lot alike, so a quick word of warning, don’t be fooled by their seemingly innocent nature, these ponies are cunning and dangerous.

I have updated your PDA, you now have a map of Equestria and a new equipment supplier, just don’t expect a chopper to supply you, It works just the same though, you activate transponder and stuff falls from the sky. The equipment is free, just don’t go overboard, you have no idea how difficult it is to obtain your equipment. Now if any ponies ask about the PDA say it is malfunctioning and of no use to them. Now go and cause some chaos.

-H.P.

Author's Notes
Considering using the Firearms' real names e.g. instead of "assault rifle" it would be "M4A1" your opinions in the comments below please
Also opinions on jumping between Panau and Equestria. Like it? or Dislike it?

Who is H.P.? Why are they helping Rico? Will I stop asking questions?
And that's chapter 4 of "A Just Cause".
- Tisbutascratch

Explanations

Ponyville
Equestria
11:01am Panauan Time
10/07/10 Earth Date

“What is that?” Pinkie Pie gestured towards Rico’s PDA.

“This is my PDA,” Rico held it up and showed it to the seven mares, the screen had inexplicably turned back to static, “It used to allow me to communicate over long distances but it’s fucked now.” Rico shoved the PDA back in his pocket, “I wonder how much isn’t over board?” Rico thought.

“Fucked? Don’t you mean bucked?” Twilight asked.

“Twilight! A lady does not use horrible language such as that.” Rarity swooned dramatically.

“They probably mean the same thing.” Rico shrugged, “Right… anyways back to my story.”

Rico proceeded to tell them everything that took place in Panau, from Agent Marshall’s death to Rico’s flying Tirus ZJ, censored of course, replacing “killed” with “Removed” or “Incapacitated”.

“And that’s how I ended up here.” Rico concluded.

“So you’re saying you were falling so fast you went into another universe?!” Twilight asked.

“I don’t know, I ain’t no scientist.” Rico replied.

"So you "Incapacitated" a Panauan soldier by kicking him of the side of a mountain? wouldn't he have died?" Applejack questioned.

"Probably... but some Panauan soldiers have parachutes so he might have survived, doubt it though they don't even give their pilots parachutes." Rico replied.

“Poor Marshall…” Fluttershy sighed, “Falling to his death like that.” Fluttershy thought back to her near death experience when she was just a filly, maybe like her, Marshall didn’t die. “He did die right?” Fluttershy continued, hoping Rico hadn’t let him die.

“Yes, I jumped out after him, he was dead before he left the chopper.” Rico stated.

“You jumped from a flying helicopter? Isn’t that kinda dangerous?” Applejack asked.

“Yes. Yes it is.” was Rico’s response.

Twilight was intrigued by mankind’s ingenuity, they could fly without wings, they could do things on par with complex spells with science, they were as intelligent as Lyra had claimed.

“So what are those things on the table.” Twilight asked, she motioned towards the weapons.

“Well this is a grappling hook.” Rico slid the grappling hook on to his left arm, “It allows me to grab things within 100 meters or if used in conjunction with a parachute it allows me to get me around quickly, and these are guns, there purpose is to kill.” This shocked the ponies, they were all about to start panicking when Rico intervened and assured, “Don’t worry, I only kill bad guys,”

The ponies began to relax knowing Rico wouldn‘t kill them, so Rico continued and picked up his Signature Pistol, flashing the ivory grips and chromed finish , “ This particular gun is my Signature Pistol, chambered in .454 magnum with an under slung 30 millimetre grenade launcher, one round for this pistol costs four hundred and forty-four bucks.” Rico pulled the cylinder open on his revolver and removed a single bullet and set it down on the table, before pushing the cylinder shut.

“What’s a buck?” Lyra asked, as she furiously scribbled down notes, sparks flying from the end of her quill.

“A buck is another word for a dollar, the currency used in the US.” Rico answered as he holstered his pistol on his right hip and held up his sub-machine gun, “This is my sub-machine gun, chambered in 9x19 millimetre cartridges, it has higher rate of fire than the pistol and it is far cheaper to use, costing one hundred and forty-five bucks a round.”

Rico proceeded to eject the magazine and remove a single round and then set beside the .454 cartridge for comparison, before reinserting the magazine and then holstering it on his left hip. “And this is my assault rifle.” Rico said barely able to contain his excitement, like a child opening birthday presents, “Chambered in 5.56 NATO, it has a moderate rate of fire and costs two hundred and twenty-nine dollars per round putting it between the pistol and sub-machine gun in terms of cost.”

Rico removed the magazine from the rifle and removed a single cartridge and placed it beside the other bullets, the 5.56 round being the largest. Rico reinserted the magazine, then slapped it on the bottom so it locked into place, he then placed stock first on to the ground leaning on the sofa.

“How do they work?” Twilight asked, floating a new scroll from her saddlebag.

“When the trigger in a semi-automatic gun is pulled, the hammer and firing pin strike the cartridge, which causes a rapid burning of gases inside the cartridge, which propels the bullet down the barrel then from the gun. The bolt then recoils backwards to extract a new cartridge, ready to fire again once the trigger is pulled or in fully-automatic gun as long as the trigger is held down the gun will continue to fire.” Rico answered, “A gunsmith could probably go into more detail but that’s basically how they work.”

Twilight found it odd how he knew so much about these “guns” but not much else like how he managed to end up in another universe or how a jet engine works, even though he can fly several different types of jet.

“What are those other things on the table?” Rainbow Dash pointed her hoof at the remote explosives and hand grenades.

Rico picked up one of the remote explosives and began, “These are remote explosives, they work by me pressing the detonator, which sends a radio signal to the bomb, detonating it.” Rico flashed the detonator, “The bombs are currently safe,” Rico placed the explosive back on the table, and picked up a hand grenade, “This is a hand grenade, they also explode but only when the pin is removed…,” Rico pulled the pin free from the hand grenade, the seven mares looked at him in horror before leaping behind their own respective cover spots, causing Rico to laugh, “But if the spoon remains in place it won‘t detonate.” Rico’s hand slipped causing the spoon to fly off.

“Shit.” Rico leapt across the room and flung the window open. Grenade in hand he threw it as hard as he could into the sky towards the forest. The grenade flew up and exploded, flinging shrapnel in all directions, fortunately no one was hurt.

“Disaster averted everyone.” Rico sighed. Everyone was too shocked to react to how Rico nearly blew them all up.

“Don’t you mean everypony?” Pinkie Pie asked.

“No unlike you I am not a racist.” Rico responded as he sat back down on the sofa.

Rico was about to relax when he felt his PDA vibrate. He had another message from his mysterious benefactor. The message read:

Scorpion, If you want to assist me in destabilizing the Princesses’ rule, best way for you to do so would be to assist a gang or resistance group, the three largest gangs and Paramilitary groups inside or outside of Equestria are the “Eagle Claw Paramilitary Group”, The “Tunnel Rats” and finally the “Dead Hoof Gang”. I have updated their bases’ coordinates to your PDA. If you accept my offer a F-33 Dragonfly fighter will be waiting for you at these coordinates.

You don’t need to accept my offer but remember how will you live in a world where all they’ll have you do is kick trees or bake cakes or as your mentor would say “or some other hippie shit.”

H.P.

“Who the fuck is this guy?” Rico wondered, “At least Karl Blaine told me about the gangs first.”

“Is your PDA working again?” Twilight asked, knocking him from his daydream.

“It’s still Malfunctioning.” Rico lied. “Well I better get going, the Titus wreck isn’t going to turn it’s self into a campsite.” Rico continued trying to mask his real reason for leaving.

“No you can’t.” Fluttershy’s personality had changed dramatically, “You are far to sick to travel into the Everfree Forest it’s far too dangerous.”

“I’ll be fine, I have guns and explosives.” Rico replied hefting the assault rifle onto his left shoulder.

“No stay I insist.” She begged, not wanting Rico to get hurt. Again.

“I don’t want to be a burden.” Rico replied, “The Evergreen forest can’t touch me.”

“Everfree.” Twilight corrected him.

“Potato Tomato.” Rico responded, confusing Twilight.

“You’ll be no burden at all, I promise.” Fluttershy assured him.

“Fiiine.” Rico whined, setting his assault rifle down and plonking himself on the sofa,"Should I help this H.P., I haven't even met the Princesses, they so she might be benevolent." Rico laughed out loud, "Yeah right benevolent Monarchies that'll be the day, i'll have to sneak out later then," Rico thought, " I really want that goddamn plane though, and I might get to blow shit up."

"What's so funny? Is it a joke? I love jokes." Pinkie asked, hoping it was a joke.

"Shit, think of a clean, non-racist joke." Rico thought, "Aha got one."

"OK, what is a famous kind of owl?"

"A Celebes Barn Owl?" Twilight questioned.

"A Mountain Scops Owl?" Fluttershy asked.

"No, A teat owl." Rico cracked, smiling at his awful joke.

"What?" The seven mares questioned him.

"A teat owl? you know a tea towel?" Rico replied wearing a forced smile.

Author's Notes

Like the last chapter there are a few pop culture references, can you find them?

Who are these three gangs? Will Rico assist them in overthrowing Celestia?

And sorry for that horrible joke.
And that's all folks for this chapter of "A Just Cause"
-Tisbutascratch

Aces High

Ponyville
Equestria
11:31am Panauan Time
10/07/10 Earth Date

Monsters and Monarchies

“That was awful.” Twilight deadpanned.

“You call that a joke?” Pinkie asked, confused by the atrocious joke.

“I have to be honest with you Rico, that was the worst joke ever… of all time.” Applejack stated.

“It wasn’t that bad.” Rico laughed.

“Oh but it was.” Rainbow Dash countered.

“That was dreadful!” Rarity swooned.

“Are all humans this bad at telling jokes?” Lyra enquired.

“I thought it was ok… if that’s ok with you.” Fluttershy whispered, in an attempt to appease Rico.

“Just forget it, so is there anything else you want to know?” Rico enquired, trying to change the subject.

“Yes, what do humans eat?” Twilight asked, floating a quill and scroll.

“Shit.” Rico thought. “Well humans are omnivores.” Rico stated, running his right hand through his black hair. The seven mares began to slowly back away from Rico. “Look I’m not going to eat you.” Rico continued. They all stopped.

“Well what animals do you eat?” Lyra enquired.

Rico wasn’t sure what animals were sentient here. For all he knew Cows and sheep could also talk. “I don’t eat animals that can talk .” Rico said trying to keep the peace.

“Okay…” Twilight replied still unsure.

“I promise.” Rico assured.

“Pinkie Pie Promise?” Pinkie enquired.

“What? Sure, Pinkie Pie Promise.” Rico responded somewhat confused, "So the fact I eat animals doesn't bother you?"

"No, animals eat other animals all the time. Bears eat fish, cats eat mice. It's totally natural." Fluttershy responded.

"Fair enough." Rico stated.

Ponyville
Equestria
22:11pm Panauan Time
10/07/10 Earth Date

There discussions continued well on into the evening. One by one they left. Applejack was the first to go, insisting on returning to Sweet Apple Acres. Followed by Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash, who both left for SugarCube Corner and Rarity who had to return to Carousel Boutique, the word “Boutique” made Rico cringe.

Twilight left a few hours later to send a letter to Princess Celestia about Rico’s “Situation” and finally Lyra only left because she ran out of scrolls, leaving Fluttershy and Rico alone in the cottage.

“Well its getting late, so I better show you to your room I mean if that’s alright with you.” Fluttershy murmured.

Rico rolled his eyes and thought, “She really needs to stand up for herself.” Before saying, “It’s fine Fluttershy, you’re right I better hit the hay.”

“Would you rather sleep on hay? I mean I’ve got some hay outside in the shed if that’s alright with you.” Fluttershy asked quietly.

“ It’s a figure of speech.” Rico stated.

“Oh.” Fluttershy responded. She led Rico to his room, it’s interior matched the rest of the cottage, lightly furnished with a small pony-sized bed in one corner made of a wood Rico assumed was pine, a bedside table sat on the bed’s right side away from the wall. In the opposite corner was desk and chair made of the same material and adjacent to desk was a chest of drawers made of darker wood that appeared to be oak. The only source of light in the room was a small candle lantern. The room’s main attraction was the window ,that displayed the ever ominous Everfree Forest in all it’s nightmarish glory.

“Thanks” Rico tossed his parachute on to the bed’s white sheets.

“You’re welcome.” Fluttershy whispered as she walked out and closed the door. Leaving Rico alone with his guns and explosives, normally this would be incredibly dangerous but after the events of the past two days Rico was too tired to blow everything up. He put his assault rifle and it’s ammunition on top of the table. His SMG and it’s spare magazines on the chest of drawers and set his signature pistol on the bedside table. He then filled the bedside table’s small drawer with the pistol’s massive .454 magnum bullets and 30mm grenades. He pulled his grappling hook off and sat it on top of the bedside table.

With no clothes to fill the drawers, he tossed his plastic explosives and grenades inside the top drawer, packing it with enough explosives to destabilize a country. Rico sat on the bed and looked out the window.

He could see a few trees covered in birds’ nests, as well as a chicken coop located inside the cottage’s small garden. Just beyond that was the Everfree Forest.

He stared out towards the menacing wood. The forest was unnerving, it reminded Rico of Hantu Island, only without the ancient Japanese cannibal ghosts, he could see why the ponies were horrified by his plan of staying in the forest. Even at the forest’s edge the tree’s were abnormally closely packed, leaving only one way in and one way out of the hellish woodland. Rico began to feel unnerved, as if there was something watching him, like there was something wrong with the forest it’s self.

Rico walked up towards the window and pulled the curtains shut but not before duck taping a hand grenade to the window frame and using a spool of wire to create a nice, little booby trap inside the window frame, you know, just in case.

Rico tossed his parachute in another drawer. Rico then climbed into his bed and blew out the lantern, plunging the room into darkness.

After two days of total insanity Rico was glad he could finally rest. Rico drifted off into a dreamless sleep.

Ponyville
Equestria
06:01am Panauan Time
11/07/10 Earth Date

Rico awoke to feeling of something sitting on his chest, “Shit.” He thought. He slowly opened his eyes, the room was still dark but he managed to make out a rabbit sitting on his chest, the rabbit looked pissed. Rico gently pushed the rabbit off his chest and on to the floor. The rabbit landed on the floor with a thud before scampering out the now open door.

Rico pulled open the curtains, he covered his eyes with his left hand, he looked out into cottage’s garden. He could see Fluttershy in the garden caring to thousands of animals, literally thousands of animals, domestic ones like cats and dogs, alongside wild animals like bears and eagles.

Rico felt slightly shocked by the number of animals she was caring for. He knew Fluttershy loved animals, it was obvious by the number of cages and birdhouses dotted around the property but he had no idea it was on this scale.

Rico felt his PDA vibrate again, another message from his shadowy contractor.

Scorpion, remember If you help me I’ll send you home and to sweeten the deal, I have left you a present at the F-33 Dragonfly Fighter.

H.P.

Rico sat up on the bed and put his PDA back in to his pocket.

“Short message today.” Rico thought, as he repacked his ammunition for his SMG and signature pistol leaving his assault rifle. He grabbed his parachute and explosives and stuffed them in his shoulder bag. Just to be safe he took the assault rifle’s magazines as well. He grabbed his grabbling hook and locked it to his left arm. Holstering his SMG and Pistol, Rico headed for the door.

Rico was just about to leave the room when he remembered his own “present” inside the window, he walked up to the window and removed the grenade. To stop any “accidents” from occurring.

He walked out the room, closing the door behind himself. Rico walked down the stairs and through the living room, dodging past all the small animals scurrying past his feet not wanting to crush any with careless steps. Rico walked through kitchen, before heading out the back door towards where Fluttershy was located.

When he stepped beyond the door’s threshold, Rico heard what only could be described as an angel. Rico followed the singing through the garden like a sailor following a siren’s song to his doom. He followed the song through the garden past the dens and burrows that made Fluttershy‘s garden resemble the surface of the moon, past the stream that dissected the garden and finally the singer was just beyond the corner of the cottage.

When Rico rounded the corner towards where the voice was coming from, he got one of the biggest shocks of life. The singer was none other than Fluttershy.

Fluttershy was perched on a tree stump singing to the birds in a nearby tree, her voice was beautiful, an angel’s wasn’t even a close comparison. Rico stood there gob smacked by Fluttershy’s sudden confidence boost. Fluttershy glanced around and saw Rico standing there with his jaw on the floor, she squeaked and jumped from her perch on the tree stump.

Rico swaggered over towards where Fluttershy was cowering, She was hiding behind the small tree stump, with her forelegs wrapped her head. Fluttershy stood up, “Oh I’m sorry if I woke you, Rico.” Fluttershy yelped hiding behind her mane, avoiding eye contact.

“You didn’t wake me, Fluttershy.” Rico stated monotonously as he crossed his arms.

“Oh, well I was just going to have breakfast, would you like some?” Fluttershy asked looking up at Rico with her big teal eyes.

“Sure.” He replied, now that he thought about it he hadn’t had anything to eat in the past three days. Fluttershy led Rico back into the small kitchen.

“Well…um…I’m not really sure what humans eat…” Fluttershy whispered.

“Do you have toast?” Rico asked, assuming like many things, that toast was universal.

“Yes, would you like it with dandelions?” Fluttershy enquired.

“No, just toast.” Rico replied, “Humans can’t digest flowers and grass.”

“Ok.” Fluttershy responded, before she started to make the toast. She removed two slices of bread from the loaf, how she cut it was a mystery to Rico, She placed the two slices of bread in the toaster and pulled the small handle down.

“Fluttershy, I’m going to go out in to Everfree. To see if I left any thing at the wreck, so I’ll probably be gone for a few hours.” Rico stated, masking his real intentions.

“Ok, be careful then…” Fluttershy replied. They both sat in an awkward silence until the toast popped out of the toaster. Rico watched Fluttershy struggle for few moments as she attempted to get the toast from the toaster.

“Here I’ll get it.” Rico stated gently moving Fluttershy out of the way and using his dexterous hands to grab the toast. He placed one slice of toast on a plate for Fluttershy and the other on a plate for himself.

“Thank you.” Fluttershy said, before grabbing her plate in her mouth and placing it on the small table in the centre of the kitchen. She then covered her slice of toast in dandelions. Gently she began to take dainty bites of the toast, while Rico scoffed his and began to walk out.

“See you later Fluttershy!” Rico shouted as he walked out the cottage.

“Bye.” She shouted but it was barely above a whisper.

Rico pulled out his PDA and glanced at the coordinates for the F-33. It was 2 kilometres northeast, Rico fired the grappling hook at a nearby tree, just before he hit the tree Rico opened his parachute, catapulting him into the air.

Rico fired the grappling hook again, this time into the dirt path that snaked its way towards the nearby town. The grappling hook pulled Rico through the sky, towards his destination. Rico spotted what appeared to be a castle on the side of a mountain.

“I wonder what would happen if I blew that up?” Rico wondered, as he fired his grappling hook again. Pictures of the castle tumbling down the side of the mountain ran rampant through Rico’s mind, “It would be awesome!” He continued thinking, as he fired his grappling hook again, pulling him closer to his destination.

Rico was less than five hundred metres away when he began to make out the unmistakable shape of a runway. Beside the runway was a cluster of buildings and a road twisting away from the runway, Rico could also see a river running parallel to the right side of the runway. The runway as at least two hundred metres long and about thirty metres wide, a Bering I-86DP could take off with room to spare.

Rico closed his parachute and dropped to the ground and sprinted the last 100 metres. The nearest building was directly adjacent to the right side of the runway, the building was some type of a crude hanger, no walls just a roof held up by thin metal struts, inside which was the F-33 dragonfly fighter, which was pointed towards the runway.

Next door was a single story prefab olive drab building. Rico walked up to the door and tried the handle and to his surprise it opened, “I suppose no one locks their doors here.” Inside the main room of the green structure was a large table with a map of Equestria and the other surrounding countries, several chairs were dotted around the table. Rico walked up to the door of one of the other three rooms and opened the door. Inside was 4 bunk beds and eight footlockers, implying this room was some form of barracks. Rico closed the door and entered the next room inside was sixteen stalls, Rico assumed this was the toilet block so he closed the door and went into the next room, inside was an empty armoury. “Looks like H.P. wants me to stay here.” Rico thought. He closed the door and walked outside closing the door of the prefab structure.

Next door was a two story prefab white control tower. Rico decided he could be bothered looking inside and decided to skip it and walk around the back of the control tower.

Behind the other buildings was another crude hanger which was beside the dirt track that led away from the base, inside the back of the hanger was various crates and hard cases containing various supplies ranging from ammunition to parachutes. But that wasn’t the only thing inside the hanger, there was also a black Hedge Wildchild armoured 4x4 pickup with dual rear mounted remotely controlled rocket launchers.

From the hanger Rico could see another crude hanger beside the river, inside which was an Agency Hovercraft.

Rico walked back to the F-33 and spotted a large black hard case sitting beside it. He walked up beside the hard case and opened it. Inside was an Air Propulsion Gun. Rico assumed this was the "Present" H.P. was referring to. “That’ll come in handy.” Rico grabbed the gun and its air canisters and slung it across his back, stuffing the air cansisters in his pockets.

He threw open Dragonfly’s canopy with his left hand before putting it in the rim of the cockpit and vaulting in. On the seat of the F-33 was a set of keys, attached to which was a small note scrawled on what appeared be a napkin.

“These are for the buildings on this base, H.P.”

“No shit Sherlock.” Rico sarcastically stated. Rico shoved the keys inside his pocket and sat down in the F-33’s chair. Rico pulled the canopy down, sealing him inside the aircraft. He did a brief check of all the systems, everything was green. Rico placed his hand on the throttle and pushed it forward, as he pulled the stick to turn the fighter towards the runway. Rico lined the plane up with end of the runway before he slammed the throttle forward causing the F-33 to thunder down the runway. After about eighty meters, Rico pulled the stick back and the F-33 rose towards the morning sun. Rico rolled the aircraft into a lazy barrel roll towards the Diamond Dog Badlands. To assist the "Tunnel Rats".

But first Rico decided to have some fun.

Canterlot
Equestria
06:59am Panauan Time
11/07/10 Earth date

Princess Luna had only one thing on her mind right now. Sleep, she had preformed all her royal duties and was now lazily walking up the many stairs that led to her bed at the top of the tower. After what seemed like an eternity of climbing stairs she was finally on the landing outside her room, the two unicorn guards that stood either side of her door shot to attention at the sight of the princess. Luna didn’t even see them, she was that tired. The two guards horns glowed a navy blue as they used their magic to open the large wooden doors.

She stumbled in her darkened room as the doors closed simultaneously behind her. Everything in the room was dark, some of the things were over a thousand years old, unchanged since her banishment to the moon. Celestia insisted she changed them but Luna felt that it was a reminder of how she had fallen to darkness. Luna walked up to her bed, she threw the dark sheets back with her magic before climbing in the bed. She clambered in the bed and wrapped them around herself. She rested her head down on her darkened pillows as she began to drift off to sleep.

Sleep.

Gentle.

Quiet rest.

WOOOOOSH

The tower shock violently, for a moment Luna believed the tower was going to collapse.

Luna jumped out her skin and shot up out of her cocoon of sheets and landed with a dull thud on the dark marble floor. Quickly scrambling to her hooves she darted towards her balcony, throwing the doors open with her magic. In the distance she saw a small black speck with thick vapour trails following the unidentified flying object. The object barrel rolled before disappearing into the blanket of clouds above Canterlot.

The room doors flew open, “Princess! Are you alright?” One of her guards shouted.

“We are fine, do you have any idea what that is?” Luna asked, in all her years of being she had never seen anything like it. It was as easily as big as a dragon yet it could probably out fly even some of the best pegasi. Maybe that “Human” Celestia mentioned knew what this “UFO” was?

“Negative, Princess.” The guard replied. Knowing the guards would never be able to catch the "UFO" Luna decided to drop the subject for now.

“Very well, please return to your posts.” Luna stated.

“As you wish.” He replied both guards bowed, before exiting and closing the doors behind themselves.

Luna crawled back into her bed, she hoped there would be no UFOs this time.

Author's Notes

Sorry for the delay, the next chapter will be out sooner and contain at least 20% more explosions and as always rhetorical questions:
Will Luna learn of Rico's "Flyby"? Will Rico cause an uprising?
-Tisbutascratch

Monsters

Equestrian-Diamond Dog Badlands Border
Equestria
07:10 am Panauan Time
11/07/10

The borderline cut through the landscape like a horrific scar, highlighting the totally different landscapes on either side. On the Equestrian side of the border the land was alive and colourful, on the other side it was a brown dead wasteland.

Brown mountain ranges surrounded by brown plains made up most of the Diamond Dog territory. The rest was dead woodland, the trees like skeletal hands grasping at the sky. From the F-33 Rico could see his target, a dusty expanse surrounded on all sides by jagged stone mountains. In the centre of the field was a large, deep hole.

Suddenly Rico’s PDA vibrated, another message from his shadowy contractor.

Scorpion, I have sent messages offering your assistance to all three groups. In return all three groups will provide you with equipment and other forms of assistance in your quest to overthrow the current monarchy.

H.P.

“Great... now I have to help these gangs.” Rico thought.

The F-33 slowly began to descend towards the dusty plain, Rico braced for impact expecting a rough landing, the landing gear folded out.

Rico prepared to leap from the aircraft if something went wrong. The wheels touched down on the surface, and the multi-million dollar fighter plane rolled across the dirt as if it was made out of silk.

“I suppose that’s one benefit of living in a land that looks like a cartoon.” Rico laughed.

Once the fighter had stopped, Rico haphazardly threw the F-33’s canopy open and leapt from the fighter, air propulsion gun in hand, SMG and pistol at his sides. Rico landed with a thud on dead grass, causing a dust cloud to form at his feet.

At the edge of the large hole stood a hulking figure. It had dirty brown fur that was covered with rusty iron plate mail, with an old sword in claw. it’s brown eyes following Rico’s every movement. As Rico began to approach the figure they called out in deep, gruff voice, “Are you the one they call the Scorpion?”

“Yes.” Rico replied.

“Well if you are, then you can answer this question. Who do you work for?” The mysterious figure shouted.

Rico sighed, “H.P.”

“Close enough.” the figure replied, sheathing his sword.

“What are you exactly?” Rico asked.

“A Diamond Dog.” was his response, “Follow me and try to keep up.” The Diamond Dog leapt down the hole, Rico followed, firing his grappling hook down into the abyss.

The bottom of the abyss was illuminated by a single torch mounted on the tunnel wall, the first thing Rico noticed was the amount of dirt tunnels twisting away from the entrance. “Must have taken years to mine this out.” Rico thought. The Diamond Dog grabbed the torch off the wall and proceeded to start walking down the tunnel, Rico ran to catch up.

After about 20 minutes of walking in total silence Rico decided to say something, “ So a sword? Looks quite old.” He asked. The sword itself was made out of iron presumably and was incredibly worn out and blunt, dark crimson stains covered the blade, Rico wasn’t sure if it was blood or rust.
“Yes,” the Diamond Dog snorted, “ I have had this sword for 20 years.”

“That’s a long time, two decades.” Rico replied as he tossed guns away like they were valueless, well except his signature revolver.

The Diamond Dog unsheathed his sword and began, “This old sword has had seventeen new blades and fourteen new hilts.” Before sheathing it again. Rico facepalmed. Hard.

Rico decided to try and one better the Diamond Dog and pulled out his signature revolver.

“What is that?” The Diamond Dog asked.

“It’s a gun, a weapon.” Rico responded.

“Doesn’t look like it could kill...” The Diamond Dog was unconvinced.

“Well looks can be deceiving, hundreds of elite soldiers have fell to this gun.” Rico proceeded to fire a round into the dirt wall. He should have probably thought about what he was doing.

The Diamond Dog covered his ears with his paws and whimpered. Rico could only hear an ear shattering ringing.

“Shit, should have probably thought that through.” Rico groaned.

“You think.” The Diamond Dog replied, still in pain, “ Sweet Celestia look at the hole.”

Rico turned his attention to the hole the bullet had created.

A massive section of the wall was gone, it had been blown apart by the massive .454 magnum cartridge.

“Still unconvinced.” Rico gloated.

“No.” The Diamond Dog replied, “We better get a move on.”

After what seemed like eternities for Rico they finally reached their destination. A large iron gate blocked their route. The Diamond Dog walked up towards the door and slammed his claw on it. After a few seconds a small slit in the door opened and a voice asked, “Halt who goes there?”

“Rockhead and the Scorpion.” The Diamond Dog apparently called “Rockhead” responded. The slit flew shut.

A few moments passed before the the heavy gate groaned open. Dozens of heavily armoured Diamond Dogs on the other side weapons pointed at the Human and Diamond Dog.

In the centre of the Diamond Dogs stood on older looking grey Diamond Dog. His front right claw was made of a silver metal. A large bronze sword hung from his side.

“I am Chief Iron Claw.” Iron Claw’s voice boomed, he held out his front right claw towards Rico, “ I assume you are the Scorpion, I know they said you were a strange one but I had no idea you were this different. What are you?”

“I’m a human. I’ve been sent to assist you.” Rico replied.

“A human? Can’t say I’ve ever met one. No matter, I have a job for you.” Iron Claw pondered, “Follow me I’ll explain on route.” Iron Claw gestured Rico to follow him into the camp.

They walked into a large, poorly lit cavern, large grey stalactites were hanging from the ceiling, many of which were well over 10 feet long, showing the age of the ancient chasm. While stalagmites poking out of the cavern’s floor turned it into a stone forest.
Various caves and tunnels branched off into the walls to create the dwellings for the inhabitants of the hostile cavern. Other structures cobbled out of stone or mud sat in the middle, away from the walls.
“You are probably wondering what I need you to do,Scorpion?” Iron Claw enquired.
“What? Yeah...sure what do I need to do?” Rico asked, even though he really didn’t care.
“The Tunnel Rats have been growing in size for years now,” Iron Claw stated, gestured to the many buildings inside the cavern, “and I want your help to increase our area of operations.”
“So, what do I need to do?” Rico questioned.
“North from here, near the Equestrian border is an abandoned fort. I want you to take it in the name of The Tunnel Rats.” Iron Claw stated.
“Sounds easy enough.” Rico replied, at least it didn’t involve disarming a bomb while hanging from a jeep that’s going 90 miles an hour down a mountain while being shot at the same time.
“I must warn you, some say the fort is haunted.” Iron Claw warned.
“I ain’t afraid of no ghost.” Rico replied, with that Rico dashed back towards the exit with Rockhead in pursuit.

After both Rico and Rockhead had clambered back out of the tunnel Rockhead warned, “All those who go to the fort never return.”
“Then where do the stories come from?” Rico countered, confusing Rockhead.
Rico leaped back on to the F-33 and grabbed the canopy in his hand before tossing it open.
Rico jumped into the F-33’s seat and closed the canopy behind him, he slammed the throttle forward and thundered across the abnormally smooth plain before taking off. Once in the air the F-33 rolled over and soared towards the old fort.

It was a pretty basic fort, stonewalls, square shape, guard towers in the corners, a central courtyard. Even from 500 metres above the fort Rico could see the the state of disrepair it was in. Walls crumbled under their own weight, the wood the tops of the guard towers were made of was waterlogged and rotten.
The old stone fortress sat at on top of a steep plateau, if the Tunnel Rats took control of the fort it would be almost impossible to remove them.
Rico decided to fly over the fort in an attempt to spot the “Ghosts”.

Well what inhabited the base certainly wasn’t a ghost.

No sooner had Rico finished his flyby, than a large khaki four headed hydra walked out into the fort’s courtyard.
“Holy shit! A hydra!” Rico shouted as he turned the F-33 around for a second pass, “Well it’s time to take the fort.” Rico flicked the safety catch off.

Rico fired the fighter’s twin rocket pods and the minguns at the hydra. Most of the rockets missed their mark and slammed into the fort’s walls, showering the hydra in debris. The minigun’s hail of bullets was unable to punch through the hydra’s thick scales, causing them to harmlessly ricochet away. The few rockets that did hit the hydra caused very little damage, just breaking a few scales.

Rico turned again for another pass, rocket pods ablaze. The machine guns haphazardly spraying in the hydra’s general direction. Thousands of bullets flew towards the hydra. They didn’t need to be accurate, with the amount of bullets flying around it was only matter of time.

The hydra let out a screech of pain as one of its eyes was hit by a high velocity steel jacketed round. The head that was hit exploded, splattering reptile brains across the dusty courtyard.

It was a hollow victory for Rico, because as soon as that head had exploded two more replaced it. The few rockets that did hit their target got lucky. Occasionally hitting the hydra in its lightly armoured stomach, splattering scales and dark crimson blood across the gravel.

By this point most of the fort was in ruins, walls had been completely demolished, guard towers had collapsed completely.

Rico inverted the fighter and turned back towards the fort, Just as he passed over the hydra it looked up at him, Rico pulled his PDA from his pocket and took a picture of the pissed hydra. Before flipping back over and flying away for another pass.

Rico fired both the machine guns and the rocket pods simultaneously. The combined fire knocked a few more scales free but failed to do any real damage as most of the fire missed and tore apart the surrounding countryside, turning many of the blackened skeletal trees into deadly shrapnel clouds.

Rico continued to strafe the fort, occasionally killing one of the hydra’s heads only for more to replace it. When the battle had started the Hydra had four heads, now it had eight.

Rico turned for another pass this time, he stunt jumped on to the fighter’s roof. Rico pulled out eight sticks of C4 and stuck them on the aircraft’s wings and fuselage. Rico then climbed back inside the fighter and steered it towards the hydra weapons ablaze. Rockets detonated in and around the fort throwing up chunks of dirt and other debris, bullets threw clouds of dust as they tore through the courtyard.

He wasn’t going to pull up. He could see the greens of the hydra’s reptilian eyes.

The multi million dollar fighter slammed into the hydra’s weakened underbelly. Covered in innards, the fighter’s damaged nose punched out the hydra’s back. The hydra let out a deep moan.

The fighter’s jet engines continued to fire, pushing the hydra back into the wall. Rico pressed the detonator.

The fort was obscured by a large cloud of thick black smoke. Debris rained from the skies for a few moments: aircraft parts, stones, chunks of hydra all fell from the sky.

Rico stood up and dusted himself off with his hands. Just as Rico had finished he heard something falling from the sky. It landed with a bloody splat right in front of Rico.

In front of Rico sat a charred, decapitated hydra head. Rico picked it up from the long spines that came down the centre of its head, leaving a small blood splatter on the gravel and held it up above him heroically before dropping it and letting it splat on the ground.

When the dust had cleared the fort was practically gone as was the hydra. All that was left of the hydra was the lower half of its body with the remains of a spine waving around in the air. The rest of the hydra was all over the place.
There was very little left of the the Dragonfly fighter though, the only thing Rico could recognise was the pilot’s seat, the rest of the plane was an unrecognisable pile of scrap, scattered across the fort.

Rico walked out the fort and pulled out his PDA and opened up the black market supplier window and noticed it was much more in depth than before. He could select the colour of the vehicles or have weapons he didn't have access to before like cattle prods or tasers. But he decided on a crate of remote explosives, and a khaki MV V880.

No sooner had he finished selecting what he wanted, than they appeared in a flash of light. Rico clambered into the MV V880, the crate of high explosives were kickin’ it in the front seat.

“Now it’s time to help one of the other gangs.”

Author's Notes

And that's this chapter of "A Just Cause" I'd like to thank my editor/proof-reader MajorWheat for not only editing this chapter but for Editing all the previous chapters as well.

Cocainum!

Zebrican Salt Flats

Zebrica

10:12 am Panauan/local time

11/07/10

Rico had been driving for almost two and a half hours and it was the worst driving experience of his life, no pedestrians who would try and cross the street at the last possible moment, only to end up mashed into the asphalt. No military cars that would clip a lamppost and then spontaneously combust, like they were made of of explodium.

The Salt Flats were pretty featureless, just long open expanses of dusty plains, large sandstone boulders were sparsely placed breaking up the Salt Flats overall emptiness. To the south low lying hills covered in lush jungles created a picturesque background . The occasional animal skull crushed under the wheel, would break up the long periods of nothing. Rico turned it into a game currently his score was 42 skulls, 6 small animals and one buffalo, most of the buffalo was still splattered across the car.

As Rico began to get further south, he began to notice large limestone ruins that were scattered across the desert. Maybe a city stood here once? The thoughts of a city being in the middle of this desolate wasteland caused Rico’s mind to wander and sent the majority of the buffalo’s carcass flying away after he clipped a large limestone rock, leaving a large red smear across the hood of the car. Rico began to get closer to the thick jungle, his proximity to the jungle allowed him to see things that not many would have seen before, such as a narrow path snaking its way into the jungle, turning the steering wheel in his hands Rico decided to follow the path deep into the overgrown foliage. The path was long and winding, causing Rico to have many “close calls” with the ancient vine covered trees.

After about half an hour of driving Rico arrived at a small village, the first thing Rico noticed was the village was the canvas teepees and wooden huts were constructed in a circular pattern around a large bonfire and a stone totem pole stood in the centre of the fire. Many of the inhabitants came out of their homes to see this “Magic Carriage”.

Rico opened the MV V880’s door and climbed out, slamming the door behind himself. He suddenly found himself surrounded by a group of incredibly angry zebras and buffalos, all pointing swords and an assortment of crude firearms at him.

“Ah you must be the Scorpion. I have heard many great things about you.” A masculine voice with a thick Kenyan accent called out. Rico turned to face them. In front of Rico stood a zebra.

On top of his head sat a striped mohawk, his green eyes studying Rico’s every movement. Large chains of ammunition were draped across his shoulders. A pair of cylindrical, water cooled machine guns sat on his back, both machine guns were connected by loop of rope that hung in front of the zebra’s mouth.

“Yes and you are...” Rico led on.

“I’m Warlord Wolfsbane, leader of the Dead Hoof gang.” The muscular Zebra replied, “Welcome to our base of operations.” He gestured for Rico to follow him.

“From here we control 83% of Equestria’s illegal substance industry.” Rico watched as a pair of Zebras ground up small blue flowers into a fine white powder before mixing it with cutting it up into small doses and using other chemicals as substitutes.

“So you deal drugs?” Rico questioned.

“Drugs?, drugs are only a small part of this massive industry. Alchemy and spells are where the real money is.” the warlord replied, trying to show Rico the benefits of his shady deals, “Example Celestia’s government banned the culling of Hydras, like the one you killed...”

“How did you know about that?” Rico’s hand went for his revolver but he didn’t draw...not yet.

“An organisation of this size has many eyes, Scorpion.” Wolfsbane cryptically replied, but Rico knew what he meant. The Tunnel Rats have a leak.

The warlord continued, “So that their scales could not be used in the production of armor and defensive potions. But it’s getting the “products” to buyers where you come in, I need you to deliver this.” Wolfsbane went inside one of the many teepees and returned with a large burlap sack in his his maw and passed it to Rico. “I need you to take it to the old abandoned castle in the Everfree Forest. That’s where the dealer will be waiting, don’t worry about payment, he has already paid for this shipment.”

“Fair enough.”Rico took the bag in his hand and began to return to MV V880.

He clambered back into the MV V880’s front seat, slamming the door behind himself. The keys were still where he left them. In the ignition.

Rico floored the accelerator and blasted down the dusty path towards the ancient castle. But Rico still had one problem. How was he going to get past Fluttershy’s cottage without her noticing. “Meh, I’ll think of something.”

After driving across the desert at a hundred miles an hour. Rico found himself back across the border and in Equestria. But he had no idea where he was in Equestria. Currently he was sitting at a T- junction on dirt road unsure where to go. “When in doubt, ask mysterious benefactor.” Rico pulled out his PDA and sent H.P. a very simple message:

“Lost. Help.”

H.P’s response was instantaneous.

“I’ll update your PDA with Ponyville’s coordinates.”

Rico spun the MV V880 on the dirt track before thundering down the left road towards Ponyville.

Ponyville

Equestria

12:10 a.m. Panauan/local time

11/07/10

Rico came to a stop on top of a low lying hill just to the south of Ponyville. After stopping the MV V880 Rico leapt from the vehicle to plan his next move. Realising that aircraft would be far too obvious Rico opted for a stealthier approach but first what to do with the jeep?

Rico pulled out a stick of plastic explosive and stuck it to the car, before running behind a tree and flicking the switch on the detonator. The jeep ignited in spectacular fireball, sending shrapnel whizzing through the air.

After the explosion Rico came out from behind the tree and his eyes fell upon a barrel that was conveniently now placed beside the charred remains of the MV V880.

“Scootaloo why is that barrel moving by itself?” Applebloom continued to watch the mysterious barrel until it disappeared from sight.

“Why did you think I’d know?” Scootaloo replied, who was now also watching the barrel.

“Maybe somepony is hiding in it?” Sweetie Belle interjected.

“But that would be as stupid as hiding in a cardboard box.” Scootaloo countered.

“We should follow it. Maybe we could get our Cutie marks from it.” AppleBloom stated.

“Cutie mark crusaders barrel followers!” They all shouted in unison.

The three fillies jumped up and then ran after the strange barrel. The barrel continued to hobble away with Rico inside.

The barrel didn’t seem to have a destination it just continued past sugar cube corner, past the library and it kept on going out of Ponyville, undeterred the fillies followed the barrel until it stopped just outside the Everfree Forest.

“Shit, they’re still following me.” Rico began looking for something he could use to escape inside the confines of the wooden barrel. Rico grabbed his air propulsion gun and turned it down.

With a earthshaking whoosh the barrel took off. The barrel and Rico soared through air for a few moments before gravity returned sending him plummeting towards the Everfree Forest, leaving the Cutie Mark Crusaders with their jaws on the floor.

“I wasn’t expecting that.” Applebloom mumbled.

“Neither was I.” Sweetie Belle replied.

“That. Was. Awesome!” Scootaloo shouted.

Rico continued to soar with the barrel towards the castle. Through the slit Rico cut in the barrel he could see the derelict castle getting closer and closer as his barrel continued to fall. The barrel slammed into one of the castle’s ivy covered pillars causing the barrel to explode in a shower of splinters. Rico flew across the castle directly towards the buyer.

With a flip, Rico landed on the ground directly in front of the buyer, who was unmoved by Rico’s entrance. The buyer was a hooded grey unicorn stallion, “So is this the stuff?” the unicorn asked as Rico produced the sack.

“Yes.” Just as Rico handed him the burlap sack the unicorn slapped a pair of shackles on Rico’s arm and then the grey unicorn flicked his hood back to reveal a gold helmet underneath and began as dozens of other guards brandishing swords and bows emerged from the tree line surrounding the ancient ruin,

“You are under arrest for possession of illegal substances and the trading of contraband...”

Rico cut him off, “No, it wasn’t me it was the one armed man.”

“Save it for the judge...wait what.” Using the guards momentary confusion, Rico blew the guards away, literally Rico fired his air propulsion gun at the guards sending them comically pinwheeling back into the forest. Using the guards’ confusion to his advantage, Rico ran. Realizing what happened the guards immediately began pursuing Rico, the ones with bows fired arrows in a futile attempt to stop Rico.

(Begin chase music now)

“Halt criminal scum!” One guard shouted.

“Don’t make me run, I’ll get all sweaty.” Another guard moaned.

Rico continued to run down the muddy path towards the forest’s exit, with the guards still trying to make the arrest. Rico could see the light at the exit of the Everfree Forest, he started to run faster to try and increase the gap between himself and the royal guards.

Panting, Rico leapt from the Everfree Forest. The guards still hadn’t caught up, so he immediately started to look for somewhere to hide. Rico another conviently placed wooden barrel.

Rico darted towards Fluttershy’s cottage, he leaped over the bridge and ran up to the barrel. The wooden barrel had “Apples” stamped on the side of it in Blocky red text.

“Fluttershy eats like a horse.” Rico laughed aloud at his own awful pun. Rico quicky checked the barrel was empty before he turned it upside down and pulled it down over his head.

Rico sat inside the barrel and waited for the guards to leave the forest.

“Where’d he go?” Rico heard a guard ask.

“Lets try that house, see if they saw anything.” Another answered.

“Shit, hopefully they won’t check the barrel, no one ever checks the barrels. Right?” Rico could hear the distinct “clops” of the guards hoofs as they marched towards Fluttershy’s cottage. The guards stood beside the barrel Rico was currently residing, one guard hammered on the door.

“Anypony home? It’s the Royal Guard, we just need to ask you some questions.” The guard knocked again.

“Come on, no pony’s in. We should try in town, see if they saw anything.” The two guards left and headed towards Ponyville.

“Now I have to go and help the Eagle Claw... shit.” Rico leaned back inside the barrel and cracked his head on the inside, “Fuck, my head.”

“Hey what was that?” the guards stopped and began to search for the source of the sound.

“Aw shit.” Rico sat up and stretched his legs. The guards returned to beside the barrel and one of them decided to lean on the barrel.

Rico jumped up and ran, barrel still over his head. The guard that was leaning on the barrel was sent flying.

“GET THAT BARREL!” The guard who was sent flying shrieked.

Rico couldn’t see where he was going but it didn’t matter, he couldn’t let himself get caught. Rico kept running until his lack of sight caused him to run straight into a tree, destroying the barrel.

“It was him I knew it!” a guard shouted.

The chase continued into Ponyville, Rico started dodging in and out of back streets with dozens of guards still hot on his heels. The street was blocked with carts, Rico having no choice leapt in the air and slid across one of the carts before landing on the other side. The guards on the other hand began moving the carts to get through to Rico.

Rico kept running, knowing the guards were delayed, he immediately started to look for somewhere to hide. The first building he spotted was a large hollow tree, he peered in the window he noticed it appeared to be some sort of library. He could hear the guards calling out to one another.

(End chase music now)

The guards’ shouts were getting louder, Rico knew he didn’t have much time. Rico grabbed the front door handle and threw the door open.

Rico chucked himself inside and slammed the door behind himself. Rico turned and saw a very confused looking Twilight, standing beside Twilight was an equally confused looking lizard thing. Rico turned to look out the window again just as the guards ran past.

“Er... Rico what are you doing? And why are you in shackles?”

Author's Notes
Will Rico tell Twilight the truth? What ridiculous task will the Eagle Claw have Rico do? And where did all those barrels come from?
Find out next time!
Also I'd like to thank MajorWheat for pre-reading/editing this chapter.
- Tisbutascratch

The Viaduct of Death!

Ponyville
Equestria
13:10 p.m. Panauan/local time
11/07/10

“Er...Rico what are you doing? And why are you in shackles?”

“Nothing....” Rico replied as dozens of guards thundered past the library.

“Rico, this my assistant Spike. As you can see he is a dragon and seriously why are you in shackles.”

“Sup.” Spike responded.

“I thought a dragon would be... you know... bigger,” Rico stated, causing Spike to mutter something about a “Hairless Ape.”,“Can he breathe fire?”

“Well he is only a baby dragon and yes he can breathe fire.” Twilight replied.

Rico realized he could only delay Twilight for so long as to why he had shackles on one wrist so he knew he would need an excuse, “Well about the shackles don’t say I said this but Fluttershy is into some weird stuff.”

Twilight’s eye twitched involuntarily.“I really didn’t need that mental image, Rico. Anyways I sent a letter to the Princesses, she would like to have a meeting with you tomorrow.”

If I go I could see if she is as bad as she’s made out to be. Rico thought, “Er... sure but how will I get there?” Rico asked.

“Princess Celestia is going to send a carriage for us.” Twilight replied.

“Won’t that take ages to get there?”

“Not a Pegasi one.”

“Right... anyways I was wondering if there’s any other species that talk in Equestria.” Rico asked.

“Yes there are many different sentient species in Equestria...” Twilight began as she floated a book labeled “Known Sentient Species” out a shelf and before opening the ancient tome she blew a thick layer of dust off the cover and on to Rico, “Sorry.” Rico dusted himself off, meanwhile Twilight looked down at the page and began to address Rico and Spike, “Bisons are large bovines native to the southern plains...”

Both Spike and Rico simultaneously groaned, knowing they were both going to be here awhile...

It had been four hours since Twilight had began her lecture. Spike had passed out due to sheer boredom and was currently lying face down on the library’s wooden floor. Rico on the other hand was sitting on a stool right elbow on knee, head in hand drifting in and out of consciousness, he was battling to stay awake but it was a futile attempt. He ignored most of the lecture and just picked out the species’ names. Just as he closed his eyes he was suddenly roused by Twilight slamming the book shut.

Rico stood up and began walking to the door, “Thanks for that Twilight but I better get going...”

“Wait!” Twilight called out, “ The carriage will becoming at 11 o’clock to pick us up tomorrow. And don’t bring any of your weapons or parachute.”

“What! no weapons or parachute! Can’t I bring one? Just one please.” Rico complained, “Look when I go somewhere without a gun nine times out of ten someone tries to kill me!”

“No.”

“Please.”

“No.”

“Fine, what about my grappling hook can I bring that?” Rico asked.

Twilight rolled her eyes,“Fiiiine, but you better not be late.”

“Don’t worry I’ll be on time, You should probably wake up Spike.” Rico replied as he opened the door and stepped outside, “See you later.”

“Bye.” Twilight replied, using her magic closed the door behind Rico.

“I’m still bringing my revolver.” Rico muttered to himself.

It was in the late afternoon, the sun was beginning descend to the west across a cloudless sky. The streets were empty of ponies and most importantly guards. So Rico saw this as an opportunity to go and assist the Eagle Claws. Rico whipped out his PDA and glanced at the map.

The Eagle Claw Headquarters were somewhere in the far north, In a region known as the Talon Mountains. The most southern part of the Gryphon Empire.

Rico brought his left hand up and pointed it towards the tall carousel like building. Rico flicked the release and the hook shot forward towards its intended target. As soon as the hook impacted the wall Rico was sent flying towards the building. Just as his black combat loafers were about to hit the building’s impeccable whitewashed walls, Rico yanked the parachutes release handle. The lift created from opening the parachute propelled Rico up and over the building.

Rico fired his grappling hook again, this time at the dirt track that led out of Ponyville, towards the destroyed MV V880. Again, the high tension wire dragged Rico forward.

Rico continued to do this until he reached the familiar tree and scorch marks. When Rico drifted over where he had destroyed his MV V880, he was startled by the charred wreck being absent and no obvious marks to hint removal by any physical means. Rico closed his parachute and allowed gravity to take effect, a small dust cloud was kicked up by Rico’s impact on the sandy path.

Rico pulled his PDA free from his jeans, while simultaneously throwing a beacon down at the side of the road. Looking down at the PDA, Rico began scrolling through the list of equipment made available to him by his mysterious benefactor. The now more extensive equipment listings were far harder to navigate, increasing the amount of time Rico spent using the already incredibly awkward system.

After spending about ten minutes twiddling and fiddling, Rico finally had got what he wanted...

In a blinding flash a Pell Silverbolt 6 came into existence in front of Rico. The miniature aircraft had a crisp pitch black finish, with immaculate white lines on the leading edge of the wings and the tip of the nose cone.

“It’s a scientific fact that racing stripes make everything go faster.” Rico leapt on the nose of the Silverbolt, before putting his hand under the rim of the canopy and throwing it back. Closing the canopy behind himself, Rico before turning to the controls and pushing the throttle forward.

The Pell Silverbolt 6 hammered across the disturbingly perfect grass, before flying towards the most northern part of the known world. The Gryphon Empire.

Equestria-Gryphon Border
Equestria
14:43 p.m. Panauan/local time
11/07/10

The change to Gryphon territory was far more gradual than its Diamond Dog counterparts rather than than a brutal wound cutting across the surface of the land. The ground had slowly changed from frosty glens just to the north of Canterlot to massive snow topped mountains in the middle of nowhere. His target, some ancient fortress nestled within this desolate wasteland.

Rico maneuvered the miniature jet in and out of the razor sharp peaks and descended through the thick blizzard that encompassed the region.

As Rico broke free of the thick mist the primordial castle loomed into existence. The fortress was perched precariously on the side of a mountain, occasionally large drifts of snow and ice broke free from the bottom of the bastion tumbled into the abyss below.

Unlike the Diamond Dog’s newly acquired ruin. This gargantuan fortress was in a combat ready state, heavily armed troops lined the imposing stone battlements and alpine towers that stood in the four corners and the centre of the frozen courtyard. A second smaller line of towers and battlements surrounded the central structure. The outer wall continued around the castle until it crumbled off the edge of the cliff.

Rico flew over the castle and spotted a clear strip of icy stone in between the mountain and the castle, where a group of griffins battled against the constant snowfall to keep the ground clear.

“Looks like they’ve been preparing for my arrival.” Rico turned the aircraft around and began to close the distance between himself and the “runway”.

As soon as the wheels had made contact with the ground Rico leapt free from the claustrophobic cockpit and into the massive blizzard.

Rico and the gryphons watched the now pilotless plane careen down the runway and off the mountain. Normally there would have been a subtle explosion but it had been drowned out by the constant blizzard that eclipsed the mountain range.

“Hey, are you the Scorpion?” A young male voice called out.

“Depends on who’s asking.” Rico turned on his heel to face them.

In front stood a pale grey gryphon covered in armour reminiscent of that worn by the anglo-saxons. A wooden bolt-action rifle was slung across his back, as well as steel helmet that was held in one claw. His azure eyes displaying his curious fear towards Rico.

“Private Silverbeak of the Eagle Claws.” The gryphon gave Rico a mock salute with his free right claw.

“Well I’m the “Scorpion” Rico returned with his own half arsed salute.

“Well, welcome to Tantalon Castle. Follow me, the Baron want’s to meet you.” The rookie guard gestured for Rico to follow him.

During the walk towards the castle Silverbeak decided to try and talk to the “Fabled Scorpion”

“So is it true you killed a hydra with your bare claws?” Silverbeak asked with a certain youthful enthusiasm.

“Yeah sure did.” With a fighter jet and about a metric tonne of high explosives. “So how’d you know about that?”

“Stories like that travel fast in the criminal underworld.”

And when I got here I thought it was like a little girl’s fantasy world. Rico thought.
As they were passing through the open gates of the outer wall Rico spotted a group of gryphons setting up a pair of water cooled machine guns akin to the ones carried by Wolfsbane on top of the battlements.
A recent addition? Rico wondered before gesturing to the machine guns and asking, “So where’d you guys get the guns?”

“Oh what those? Dunno the Baron just brought them out one day.”

The rest of their journey towards the keep was uneventful. Once they arrived the large wooden doors were opened by a pair of the gryphon guards, allowing the duo access to the Baron.

The cold stonewalls of the keep were adorned with thick colourful tapestries and vibrant red banners all symbolizing gryphons. Beneath the banners stood marble statues of gryphon knights, each one an exact replica of the last. On the opposite side of the room was an equally large set of wooden doors with a pair of gryphon guard stood beside them. The route up to the doors was marked by a lush and thick red carpet that covered the white marble floor. Titanic Greco Roman pillars that ran parallel to the carpet on both sides held the high arching ceiling in place. The regal atmosphere was smashed by the large crates of firearms that were stacked all around the room.

Again once they reached the magnificent wooden doors on the other side the guards opened them. Rico wasn’t prepared for what awaited him on the other side of the ancient oak doors.

“Don’t lie to me Lieutenant!” A deep voice boomed.

“Sir, the convoy was ambushed by a force at least three times it size there was no...” Another voice hastily replied.

“Bollocks! We’re the Eagle Claws! Nobody fucks with the Eagle Claws!” the scottish voice retorted, “Get out my sight now! You prick!”

“Yes sir! Sorry sir!” A griffin knight shoved his way past Rico and Silverbeak and ran out across the room.

The throne room was as equal if not better in both splendor and vastness in comparison to the keep. With it’s equally lavish banners and tapestries garnishing the walls that had been crafted from the whitest of marbles. Behind the throne were two extravagant stained glass windows, one depicting griffins defeating the ponies. The other, a lone griffin facing off against a dragon. Either side of the baron stood two knights, who were both clearly amused by the grilling of the guard. Encased in bronze armor, the baron sat upon his stone throne, however rather than a helmet upon his brow sat a gold crown. At his right hand side sat a fully loaded LMG and at his left a steel claymore.

“So, you must be the “Scorpion”?” The baron enquired, his brown eyes bearing his doubt towards Rico.

“Yes.” Rico replied.

“I’m Baron Schiltron, welcome to my humble abode.” The dark brown griffin cleared his throat before continuing, “Well, I have a proposition for you Scorpion. As you may have noticed I have a slight problem.”

“Which is...” Rico gestured for him to continue.

“Well the Eagle Claws gain most of its funds through smuggling and recently a group of fucking bandits decided to attack one of our smaller smuggling routes, destroying the shipment.” Schiltron sighed, clearly annoyed by these “Fucking bandits.”

“So you want me to kill them?” Rico asked, even though the answer was more than likely yes.

“Yes, there headquarters is somewhere over the viaduct of death. You can’t miss it, it’s the large viaduct about a mile northwest.”

The viaduct of death? What a stupid name. Rico thought before replying, “Well ok then.” Rico began to walk towards his new objective.

Talon Mountains
Gryphon Empire
18:07 p.m. Panauan/local time
11/07/10

After spending about fifteen minutes climbing around the mountains, Rico had finally made it to the viaduct of death. Well the hill behind it anyways. Rico removed his PDA from his pocket and glanced at the map. His destination was only 531 metres north now.

Rico leapt from his current position on top of the icy cliff descending into the misty abyss below. Tugging on the parachute’s cord sent Rico hurtling back up into the sky, allowing him to fire his grappling hook pulling him forward towards the bandit’s base.

As Rico broke through a cloud bank the bandit’s base revealed itself to him. A small fort akin to the one he destroyed this morning. As he began to descend towards the fort the mist began to thicken. Through the mist Rico made out the unmistakable outline of a unicorn standing guard. Hoping the constant winds would mask the gunshot, Rico drew his revolver and fired at the unicorn. The unicorn’s head exploded, yet it’s headless body still stood. Rico dropped to the floor beside the unicorn and that’s where he discovered....

...It was made of snow!

“Hello Mr Snowpony.” Rico laughed, before proceeding to end its cruel existence as a headless snowpony by kicking it in the midsection, causing it to collapse. Walking alongside the stonewall of the fort Rico eventually found the entrance. Rico spotted another conveniently placed barrel sitting beside the fort’s wooden gate and Rico began to formulate a plan...

The door of the fort exploded in wards in a shower of razor sharp splinters tearing through the griffin and pony bandits who were unfortunate to have been near the door. Rico continued the assault by firing a burst from his SMG at a nearby griffin soldier, his steel armor didn’t stand a chance against the supersonic projectiles. Turning on his heel Rico leapt across the courtyard towards an upturned table. The griffins and ponies drew their weapons and began to return fire, bolts and bullets cracked past Rico, covering him in dust from the ancient stonewall, Rico pulled a pin and let the spoon fly free from a hand grenade before tossing it towards his foes. The ground shook with the detonation. Rico stood up and fired two shots from his revolver both hitting one unlucky griffin in the chest causing them to fall from the battlements. Rico crouched behind the table just as an arrow zipped through the space he was just occupying. Again he stood up and fired two shots from his revolver both of which hit their mark, before taking cover behind the table again. Rico pulled another grenade from his belt and removed the pin, causing the spoon to fly gracefully through the air before landing on the snowy gravel. He tossed the grenade to the right of the courtyard and fired his revolver’s underslung grenade launcher to the left in an attempt to kill all the surviving bandits in one move. Suddenly the bandits’ fire ceased Peering over the arrow riddled table, Rico could see why the gun fire had ceased...

All the bandits were dead, well all of them except one. Stood in the dead centre of the courtyard was a monstrous blood red minotaur. Any normal human would probably be for the lack of a better word shitting themselves in this situation but Rico Rodriguez is no ordinary person.

Rico pulled the grenade launcher forward ejecting the spent casing and replacing it with a new grenade before firing it at the minotaur. The explosive detonated on impact with its target, obscuring the minotaur in a cloud of grey dust.

“Well that was easy-” Rico couldn’t believe it. The minotaur was still standing in the middle of the courtyard. Alive. The minotaur snorted before charging towards the human, “Oh shi-”

The impact sent Rico cartwheeling through the smashed gate of the fort and into the reddened snow.

The minotaur stood over Rico’s crumpled form and gloated, “You’ll have to try harder than that, monkey.” Before bringing a hoof down hard on Rico’s chest. The pain was unbearable for Rico and it only proceeded to get worse as the minotaur increased the pressure on Rico’s chest.
Rico felt around in the snow with his arms, when his fingers graced something metal. Wrapping his right hand around the object, he realized it was his revolver. Cocking the hammer, Rico brought the magnum to bear.

“Garbage Day!” The revolver boomed, the minotaur stumbled back a few meters, blood pouring from it’s chest. Rico jumped to his feet and pulled the trigger again.

CLICK

“God damn it!” Rico shouted, enraged the minotaur charged towards the human. The minotaur closed the gap almost instantly, just as the minotaur was about to slam into Rico like a sentient train, Rico stepped to the side and ejected the empty cases from his revolver. The minotaur turned to face the spy, the minotaur snorted before charging again. The bullets slid through Rico’s fingers but he managed to get one into the cylinder before he closed it. He brought the revolver up towards the rampaging minotaur.

“Yippie kay yay Mother Fucker!” The minotaur’s head exploded. Blood and brains splattered across the white snow and Rico. “Fuck.” Rico holstered his revolver and shook his arms to try and remove most of the brains and blood from them.

Suddenly Rico’s PDA vibrated. Confused Rico removed his PDA from his pocket and looked down at the screen which read “Teleport ability unlocked! Use the teleport ability to travel to places you have already discovered, just select teleport in the Blackmarket menu then the location and the magic will do the rest!”

“What the fuck? Am I in game or something? Well it wouldn’t be the strangest thing to happen in the last three days.” Rico decided to test this “teleporting” he decided on the location “Fluttershy’s cottage” and in an instant he was engulfed in light.

Ponyville
Equestria
20:27 p.m. Panauan/local time
11/07/10

Rico flashed into existence on the path outside Fluttershy’s cottage, the sun was just beginning to dip over the horizon to the west, apparently controlled by their tyrannical overlord Princess Celestia. As he got closer to the cottage one thing he noticed was the lights were out. Rico opened the door and stepped inside and just as he closed door something unexpected happened...

“SURPRISE!”

Author's Notes
Will Rico make a good impression on the Princesses? or will he just end his mission? Will the barrels return?
Also ships, which one?
Rilight, Ririty, Ricojack, Rinkie, Ricodash, Ricoshy, Riluna or Riclestia? (Note I won't write any Rico shipping.)

Finally! Sorry for the delay everyone but it's finally here and thanks to Innate Enigma for editing/pre-reading this chapter as well as all the previous ones.